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Healing From Depression
Episode 2124th May 2021 • The Daily Podcast with Jonathan Doyle • Jonathan Doyle
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If you have never suffered from depression then there is a very good chance that you know someone who does. In our complex modern world it seems to be a huge challenge for so many. In today's episode I want to share a simple insight from one of the giants of psychology who helps us consider a path out of the fog of depression.

Transcripts

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Well, Hey everybody.

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Jonathan Doyle with you for the daily podcast.

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Hope you're doing well, friends.

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Great to be with you.

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I hope you had a good weekend.

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I had a pretty good weekend.

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I think.

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Yeah, it's the kids are at a good age.

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It's a nice sort of age.

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You know, many of you will either remember this, or it may be ahead

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of you, but they've got to that age where you can do stuff with them.

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You know, stuff.

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We've been surfing.

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We've been doing all sorts of cool stuff.

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That's a nice season.

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Nice age.

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So, uh, Caught up with some friends yesterday.

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Often I think that, uh, what was that great quote?

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I don't know whether it was, might've been Henry David Thoreau

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famously said that a person is rich.

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With regard to the number of things they can afford to leave alone.

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You know, sometimes I think we, uh, we go through life convinced.

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That if only we had more X.

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X can be substituted for whatever.

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More fame or recognition more money, more time, then we would be happy.

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But sometimes it's, um, the things that we don't pursue.

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The things that we subtract from our life.

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That, uh, lead us to those things that are richer and more enjoyable.

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And on that today's quote is something.

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I just think it's quite brilliant.

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It's a, maybe a little controversial.

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So strap yourself in.

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I preface this by saying I am not providing.

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Advice and or guidance on mental health issues, because this is a

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comment or quote about depression.

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It comes from Alfred Adler.

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Now.

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All of us in life will experience times of depression or low mood.

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It's a janitor.

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Generic.

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Uh, part of the human experience and of course, Some of us.

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Uh, the weather doesn't clear and the journey and the cross and the challenge of

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depression can be with us for many years.

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And as many of you know, it's been a part of my life at different times.

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But, uh, I guess over the years I learned many, many, many, many

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strategies and approaches that I've found incredibly helpful in this area.

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But let me share this quote with you here from Alfred Adler,

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the brilliant psychologist.

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I really like Adler's work sort of learning more about it died back in 1937.

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But here is this quote.

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He says you can be healed of depression.

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If every day, You begin the first thing in the morning to consider

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how you will bring a real joy.

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To someone else.

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You can be healed of depression of every day.

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You begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you will bring a real joy.

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To someone else.

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You know, many of, you know, I've been reading Jordan Peterson's latest book and.

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He, he writes a quite brilliant chapter on suffering and how we deal with suffering.

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And he makes this comment, you know, he said that if you, if you

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haven't experienced in life of someone close to you dying, which

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I've been through in many others,

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I'm sure listening have.

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He said, uh, he encourages people to be the go-to person to be the person

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that holds everybody else together.

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He says, you're not denying your pain.

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You're not ignoring what you're going through, but he's like in these key

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moments of life, one of the great things we can do as humans is rise

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to the challenge and be present and available and care for those

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who might be really falling apart.

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It was quite a beautiful sentiment, I think.

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And.

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You can see here, this same thread flowing through this

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Alfred Adler quote on depression.

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That as a culture, we're very therapeutic.

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We have many strategies for dealing with depression, but.

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Interestingly, you don't hear this one as often as you might think them.

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It reminds me of.

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Having read, uh, Johann Hari's book lost connections.

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It's an extraordinary book on his journey with depression.

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And he talks about, you know, his whole journey with medication

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and increasing dosages and all the stuff that he went through.

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But then he found that, uh, in, towards the end of the book, that

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it was reconnecting his social world really drilling down into.

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Being with friends and being, you know, being focused on their

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problems and struggles, which was incredibly healing for him.

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And that's what Adam was telling us, you know, begin every day, thinking how

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you can bring real joy to someone else.

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So.

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Uh, example on Saturday, you know, My daughters.

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My youngest daughter was playing netball and this involved standing in pretty

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much subzero conditions watching.

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You know, nine-year-olds and 10 year olds play.

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You know, volleyball, uh, sorry.

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Uh, netball.

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And, you know, I grew up as a rugby guy with brothers and went to old

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boys schools and netball was not a big part of my developmental years.

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So this was new for me.

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But, um, you know, I went and got a bad coffee and stood there in

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the freezing cold and watched her and got a lot of joy out of it.

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And she just had a blast.

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I mean, she was just so happy.

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And then we went.

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Did a bit of shopping together and we had this great time.

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And then later in the day, my eldest daughter.

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I was playing soccer and she's playing really well.

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And, and, uh, I sat out there in the sun and I watched her for like two hours.

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The game went for like, at least that long, maybe the whole thing.

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The warmups and all that stuff.

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But, you know, that afternoon, you know, we had dinner as a family

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and watching a movie together and I just felt this real kind of joy.

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I thought, you know, I've had a really good day.

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And just like Adler's saying that happened because that the, the, the

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focus of the day hadn't been on my problems, the focus of the day hadn't

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been on worries of the future, the focus of the day had just been on.

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Being present.

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And trying to be a blessing to significant people in my life.

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So I think this is what Adler's saying, that if we go about our

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days, you know, thinking, you know, what, who can I bless today?

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Who can I, so let's make this practical.

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Yeah.

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If you're listening to me right now, you have a friend somewhere.

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Going through some sort of difficulty I can think of about

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five friends at the moment, going through some of them going through

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extremely difficult times some less.

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So.

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But the choice that I had to send a message of encouragement, send a text.

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Reach out, you know, um, be a blessing to my own family.

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I didn't get this perfect, but I, I understand the trajectory.

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I understand the way out of.

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You know, this kind of a self absorption and sadness that can

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overtake our lives very easily.

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So can that be your homework today?

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Can I encourage you?

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Two, if you're struggling with depression at the moment, if you're

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struggling with, um, you know, we're all still going through COVID craziness

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in different forms around the world.

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If you're listening to me right now.

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Who can you bless?

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Who can you reach out to today?

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Who can you bring joy to?

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You know, who would just be stoked if they heard from you?

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Or you can go buy someone flowers.

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I'm going to bug Karen Flowers today.

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You know, she's got a.

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She's got things going on at the moment, challenges that she's facing,

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I was going to buy some flowers.

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And then amazing, you know, thousands of people are going to hear that before.

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Any, any of you listening to this, but you know, in the next few hours,

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You're not to tell her.

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Okay, that'll be a surprise.

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But, uh, just bring joy.

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Bring joy to people.

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If you do that and you do it on a regular basis and you make it a practice.

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I mean, many of us are good at going to the gym.

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Many of us are good at you.

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Systems and doing the same things each day.

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But let's get good at this one.

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Let's get good at bringing joy to other people.

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All right.

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That's it for me?

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My name's Jonathan Doyle, please hit subscribe.

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If you like what you're hearing a little bit of daily encouragement hit

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subscribe, come across to the website.

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Jonathan doyle.co.

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You can sign up there for the daily email.

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Either way, uh, Reach out and you can find out about co getting coaching with me.

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It's on the website there.

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Um, do you want to say hi, or you got a problem or a challenge?

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You'd like me to do an episode on, you can send me an email

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jonathan@jonathandoyle.co, but that's it for now.

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God bless you everybody my name is jonathan doyle this has been

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the daily podcast and i'll have another message for you very soon

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