I bet most of us can agree that we don't like feeling like “we're the problem” or that we might be letting someone down.

When we make plans to meet up, or attend something together with someone else, or as in my story today, plan an event and then... life unexpectedly happens, the situation changes, and we have to cancel on them.

UGH! It can be such an uncomfortable feeling when those thoughts of, “Oh, I'm going to let this person down” start racing through our head and our nervous system sets off the old childhood danger alarms.

Today on The Karen Kenney Show, we’re talking about how it’s okay to not always get it 100% right. It is okay to have enough self-awareness to know when we’ve reached our limit and something, somewhere has to give.

The truth is…

You are allowed to change your mind.

You are allowed to make mistakes.

You are allowed to make choices that might disappoint other people.

You will come out the other side okay and “YOU ARE NOT IN TROUBLE” when you do.

KEY POINTS:

• Disappointing Others + Managing Anxiety (04:52)

• Recognizing + Managing Emotions (09:38)

• Emotional Intelligence, Self-Awareness + Personal Growth (15:32)

• Managing Emotions from Past Experiences (20:17)

• Trauma, Emotional Healing + Self-Care (25:26)

• Finding Inner Peace (30:32)

Karen Kenney is a certified Spiritual Mentor, Hypnotist, Integrative Change Worker and a Life Coach. She’s known for her dynamic storytelling, her sense of humor, her Boston accent and her no-bullshit approach to Spirituality and transformational work.

She’s been a yoga teacher for 22+ years, is a Certified Gateless Writing Instructor, and is also an author, speaker, retreat leader and the host of The Karen Kenney Show podcast.

A curious human being, life-long learner and an entrepreneur for 20+ years, KK brings a down-to-earth perspective to applying spiritual principles and brain science that create powerful shifts in people’s lives and businesses.

She works with people individually in her 1:1 program THE QUEST, and offers a collective learning experience via Group Coaching. She supports both the conscious and unconscious mind by combining practical Neuroscience, Subconscious Reprogramming, Integrative Hypnosis, and Spiritual Mentorship. These tools help clients regulate their nervous systems, remove blocks, rewrite stories, rewire beliefs, and reimagine what’s possible!

Karen wants her clients to have their own lived experience with spirituality and to not just “take her word for it”. She encourages people to deepen their personal connection to Self, Source and Spirit in tangible, relatable, and actionable ways without losing sight of the magic.

Her process called: “Your Story To Your Glory” helps people to shift from an old thought system of fear to one of Love - using compassion, un-shaming, laughter and humor, her work is effective, efficient, and it’s also wicked fun!

KK’s been a student of A Course in Miracles for close to 30 years, has been vegan for over 20 years, and believes that a little kindness can go a long way and make a miraculous difference.

Well, hello there beautiful humans. I'm super duper excited to be here with you today. And I think today's episode is going to be helpful to not just me, because remember, I always say, when I do this show, everything that comes out of my mouth is for my ears first, it's for my ears, too. But I think this sucker might be helpful to some of you out there as well. So first of all, number one, thank you so much, however you are tuning in, if you are a loyal listener, you're back for like the 267 show. It's so crazy to be if you're listening, if you got 2am buds in or whatever, and I'm in the I'm in your head, and you're hearing me talk. Welcome back. I'm so happy if you're new to the show. Hi, I'm so happy to hear however you found it. You might be watching it on YouTube, you might be watching it on Konkin. TV, however you got here, I am so happy to spend a little bit of time together. So thank you so much. So I'm Karen Kenny, most of you know I am a spiritual mentor, I'm a writer, I'm a speaker, I've been a yoga teacher for 25 years. I'm a hypnotist and integrative change worker, a gateless, writing instructor, etc, etc, etc. I do a lot of stuff. And really what I mostly try to do is spread a little more love in the world. Really, that's my gig. So however I do that, whether it's helping humans or helping animals, you know, spreading out using my voice, whatever, really what I'm trying to do look at this crazy hair, right? I'll tell you about my hand a second. But really what I'm trying to do is just spread a little more love in the world. So actually, right? I didn't curl my hair or do anything fancy. I have wicked straight fine hair. But when you have fine hair, and you put it up in a bun, you and you take it down all of a sudden it's like magic waves. I don't even know what happened. But I'm not used to having like what's up with these curls. Okay, and we're back. Alright, welcome to the show. Okay, this episode, I'm calling this sucker. You're not in trouble. You're in Toby pajamas. My cat. He's 16 Toby pajamas is over here. I don't know if you could hear him like making his noises. He's so funny. Okay, so you're not in trouble. And if you've never watched the show before, or listened to the show before, what I usually do, is I tell some stories from my day to day life, right? And then I kind of extract some spiritual principles from that. And really, I just try to share stuff that helps navigating this helps make navigating the human experience like a little bit easier. Because Come on, you guys. I always say this being human is like an ongoing problem. And it's wicked hard. It's wicked hard being on the planet these days, meaning there is so much that is constantly going on. And if we're not tuned in to our true self, our true center of love, it can just feel completely overwhelming, baffling, confusing, frustrating, exhausting, whatever, to kind of walk around navigating this human experience. So I always help that something that I share on the show is going to help us to shift our perspective, to look at something in a new way to grow to expand and to feel more connected to self source and spirit. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you a little story. Okay, so recently, I had and I'm gonna, I'm going to be a tiny bit vague, just because the the, the deeper details in this case don't really matter. It's really like what the story is about, not so much the exact details, but I had reached out to somebody Well, we were I was talking with that's a better way to say it. I was talking with somebody that I really love and respect. And we had talked about doing not so much a collaboration but doing an event here in New Hampshire. And we had started putting like it happened so fast though, right? It was like one of those things where like you're just talking, you know, whether it's on Messenger or texting or box or whatever. And before you know it like a plan has been made. And at the time of creating that plan, all systems were go on my end, I was like, okay, yes, I check the dates. I can do it. Let's do this, like, oh my god, I'm so excited. Holy shit. It's happening, right? There's a link on the website is like happening, you know, and I was super duper excited, and I couldn't wait. And then plot twist. Something happened, where I had to then, like, let them know, I'm not going to be able to do this. Now. One of the things that really, really, really matters to me is keeping my word, right. I try not to make promises I can't keep. So if there's a thing that I say my intention is to do this, I want to do this and I have to back out. It's usually because something like an act of God and act of nature, or the resources or whatever, just are no longer there. It's just not going to work out a family emergency like whatever it is. It's usually like a big thing. So when I was looking at this thing, because I was like, Oh God, now other people are going to be like signing up. And I'm the cog in the wheel, right? Like, I'm the one who's now saying, I'm not going to be able to participate in this thing and do this thing. And the only way I can describe it is initially, is I felt really bad, right? It just did not feel soothing. So not soothing, it did not feel good. And I think anybody out there who men hands, if you can relate, we never like to disappoint people, we never want to let people down. Right? Most of us most I shouldn't say everybody has exceptions to every rule, right? But most of us, we don't like feeling like we're the problem. We don't like feeling like, Oh, I'm the one that screwed up the plans, right. And I know for myself, not wanting to be a burden, or a pain in the ass or like, whatever, right? It can be one of those things. But here's, here's, here's the point I'm gonna get to. So I realized, like, Okay, I'm gonna have to communicate, like my current situation, what's going on? I have to be transparent and honest and vulnerable, and say, This is what's going on. This is why I can't do it, done it up, okay. And I send the message. And, you know, there's that like lag in time. Now, we never know, right? We never know what's going on with somebody else. Unless, of course, maybe you you live with them, and you can talk to them. But I didn't have like ready access to this person, like, super available. So a little some time went by, and I didn't hear back. So in the interim, I knew that I wasn't changing my plans. Because I didn't what had nothing to do with not wanting to do it. I just was not able to do it any longer. And so, you know, I found myself one night walking through the kitchen. And I started to feel only what I could describe as like, anxiety. Right? I started to feel like my heart was pounding a little faster. I could feel like my throat constricting a little bit. My my thoughts started to I'm not going to say they started to race. But definitely there was a quickening and my mind started to turn a little bit and like, hey, just like, again, definitely men hands if you know what I'm talking about that feeling in your body where you're like, oh, like you feel this quickening of a pace, right? And even now, like even just thinking about even see, like, if you're watching this, you saw what I just kind of did with my throat. It was like, oh, like, Oh, right. Oh, so not soothing. Okay, so I'm self aware enough. After all these years, all the work that I've done, right, again, yoga teachers, spiritual mental life coach hypnotists, like all these things, Reiki, like all the stuff, right? Did a little stint in therapy, I haven't done a ton of therapy in my life. Although I know for some people that has been taught therapy CBT has been incredibly helpful for them. I tend to work my stuff out in slightly different ways. Although I think the short stints I have had in therapy, I found them incredibly helpful. Okay, this is like back back in the day. Okay, but so what what happens is I have enough self awareness that I notice, okay, I am not feeling happiness and peace. Now, as a longtime course and miracle student, I know that as soon as I shift out of that place of feeling somewhat happy, somewhat peaceful, if I have lost my peace of mind, it is never because somebody took it from me, it's because I have given it away. And so I noticed how I'm feeling. I noticed the quality of my thoughts. I noticed the quality of the state and my body and I start to go like, what's going on here? Like, what is going on inside of you? Hey, young lady.

All right, I'm not that young anymore. Okay. But here's the thing, I have to start to question like, what's happening? And I know, it's easy to blame something outside of me, right? Oh, well, they haven't written me back yet. Oh, the I don't know what they're thinking and like, so I can start to write a story where I can go into like, blame and like, I can start to, you know, like, push, push it out there. Like, make, make the cause of my discomfort, you know, within myself be from the outside in, but it's always the inside out. So I have to stop and I'm like, Okay, so what's actually happening in here. And when I really started to slow down, I'm like, let's try to like name this feeling. It's like almost like a game show, like name the feeling. And I was like, Okay, what are the what do you kind of like thinking like what's coming up in your body? So I started to recognize it. I'm like, Okay, I feel a little anxious. And I said, Okay, well, why would you feel a little anxious? So I'm the kind of person that will often you know, try to recognize is what's happening from the top down right from my head first, then into my body. This is not always the best way to do things. But in this case, it worked out in this case, it was fine sometimes where we want a bottoms up approach, we want to start somatically. We want to start in the body to help to use me to help change the mind. But in this case, I'm like, I was working from the top down. And I continued with it because it was working for me. I was like, Oh, I think I recognize what I'm feeling right now. And then once I recognized what I thought I was feeling, which was anxiety and stuff, I was like, Okay, why would you be feeling this way? What are the quality of the thoughts that you're having? And then I asked myself two important things. What are you believing? What are you believing? Right? Actually was three things. What are you believing right now? What's the story that you're telling yourself right now? And what's the meaning that you're assigning to not hearing back from that person yet? Okay. And I started to realize, oh, oh, it was like we say mass mass hold kids, right. We say like, like Dawn's over Marblehead. Right, the sun comes up over knock on my head Marblehead. It's like, oh, I realized what's happening right now. Okay, I did a podcast episode like a gazillion ago. I think I called it How old are you? I think that's what was the the name of the title? How old are you? And this is a question that I often not only ask myself, but when I'm mentoring somebody or coaching somebody, I will often give this to them as a tool to check in with themselves. When they feel themselves feeling a particular way that they don't want to feel when they feel themselves quote unquote get triggered when they feel like their quote unquote, buttons have been pushed, whenever we feel ourselves getting reactive, like I do start to go up when we start to feel defensive or we start to kind of operate from a fear thought system. So when I'm whenever we shift from love to feel like that is a downgrade, right? It's like going from like the Ritz Carlton like five stag going to like the econo lodge on Main Street or whatever, right? It's like, okay, I have to clearly downgraded my living environment right now. Like, what is it like that inside your head? And I was like, Okay, I recognize that when I asked that question, how old are you right now? Because I started to go like, okay, right, like, what's going on? Right? Like, what KK like, what? Do you feel it in there? Like what's happening? Right? And when? How old am I? It gets right to the root of the problem. Because here's the thing, however old you are, you might be 26, you might be 28, you might be 32. You might be like me, 55, whatever, however old you are, most of us, especially if you're listening to this podcast, or watching, right? You are now considered an adult? Most of us, I don't know, you might be 18. I don't know. But most people who tune into this you're a little bit older, you are now officially an adult. But what happens is, even though our body, right eye skin, is those ages 2628 30 We have parts of our personality, we have parts inside of us that don't know that we're adults now. And this is why this question, How old am I when I feel that trigger? When I feel that upset when I give away my peace because I start writing stories and I start assigning meaning to things and I start to believe a particular thing that is not in my favor, that is not helpful. So what I started to realize is that creeping feeling that I was calling quote, unquote, anxiety, what it really reminded me of when I kind of asked that question, how old are you right now? I was like, Oh, I feel like I'm a little kid. I feel like I'm around like seven or eight right now. Right? And I know I've done something that somebody in my life is not going to like, whether that's an adult or my stepfather or a teacher or whoever, I had this feeling of, I'm in trouble.

I'm gonna get in trouble. Just pause for a moment. You guys, whatever age you are. Now, maybe you had fantastic parents who had incredible social and emotional intelligence, and they knew they didn't have a lot of trauma. And they did their personal development and their spiritual work, and they knew how to use their words and express their feelings in a very calm and loving way. If that was you, you should just stop right now. If your parents are alive, right? Pause this, call them and say thank you to them, right for going first and doing their work in teaching you through their own example of how to use their words and express their, you know, whatever they were feeling their love, right their anger in healthy ways, okay? If they're dead, and they were like that still pause and take a moment because I believe the veil between the worlds is thin, and they will still hear you. So your relationship with them can continue. And just take a moment to say, Hey, man, I am so grateful, right? I'm so grateful that I got to have you as a parent. You've taught me so much and so well, okay. And we're back. But most of us did not have those parents. Okay. My generation, right? Were the Gen X's, we were like, were the kids that were like kicked out of the house at like seven in the morning. And they're like, don't come back. We don't want to see your mugs. We don't want to see your grubby little hands. We don't want to see your faces to like the lights. Right? The street lights come on, otherwise beat it, like beat it kid, right? So we were a highly unsupervised like group of children. We were like, I always say we were like, feral is what we were up. And nobody was like talking about their feelings in Lawrence, Massachusetts. Okay. So here's my point, I start to feel this feeling of like, oh, shit, I'm in trouble. And right away, that tells me that that's not 55 year old me, right? Who's having this emotional reaction to I just maybe, I don't even know, I don't even know that I disappointed this person yet, because I haven't heard back from them. But I'm assuming like, oh, shit, I'm doing something. You know, what I really did. Here was my quote unquote, crime in my own head. I had to put my own needs. First, I had to put my own resources and capacity, or lack thereof or whatever, first. And I am a chronic help. Like, I am somebody who, for a wicked long time in my life. And look, I'm no saint. I'm not trying to be special here. I'm just telling you, like, kinda, I'm somebody who will almost always put other people's needs ahead of my arm. And I do it with humans, I deal with animals, like whatever. And sometimes that can be a beautiful thing. And sometimes it can be not so helpful, right? It can be not so helpful to me. And you know, so it's something I've worked on and I continue to work on over the years is that it's okay for me to have needs, it's okay for me to have feelings. It's okay for me to want what I want and need what I need, right? So just again, double Amen hands if you can relate. And so I recognize like, oh, so this is a weak muscle in me, where I basically had to say to somebody, I know I said this, but here's the plot twist, right, there has been a pivot, there's been a change. And I'm not able to now continue to do that. So I had to put my own needs first. And it can be such an uncomfortable feeling. Sometimes when you start to think like, oh, I'm going to let this person down. But I didn't even know yet because I hadn't talked to anybody. So I started to realize like, Oh, this is an old fear of mine. How old are you right now like, and this is really interesting, if you don't know about internal family systems, so there's different kinds of in therapeutic applications or therapeutic tools, right ifs internal family systems being one of them. It's also called Patchwork, right? In Patchwork, we basically say that we have a lot of different parts of our personality. Can you hear Toby pajamas, a lot of different parts of our personality? And, and so one of my younger Pat's right, and it's not saying like you have a split personality or borderline, it just means we have different parts of us inside of ourselves. And I'll often talk if you've, if you're a longtime listener of the show, you've heard me talk about Vicky with two K's from Lawrence, who was one of my pads, one of my protect is, and you've heard me talk about the little bunny, which is a very young, younger part of me. So as I start to recognize, like, oh, shit, how old am I right now? Right? I realized, like, Oh, this is a younger part of me that is afraid that she's gonna get in trouble. Right? And then I started to laugh. And I even said this to my sweetie. I was like, the only people I can really at this age, the only people I can really get in trouble with is with the police or the IRS. Right? Everything else. I'm like, these are just other people. These are just my equals. These are my peers. These are just other human beings. They're not my parents. I'm not a little kid anymore. It's okay for me to have needs and to say I can no longer do this thing. And just that does like that, that desire to not want to disappoint people. But here's the thing. We're here Amen, we are gonna make mistakes, we are gonna screw it up, we're gonna fuck it up, we're gonna let people down, right? People sometimes are gonna be disappointed. And whether that's because they showed up with their own set of expectations. And you know what I say about expectations, expectations, or premeditated resentments, right, maybe they have their preferences under the law. But in this case, I knew that I had made a verbal agreement with somebody. And I hate breaking my word. Like I like ooh, like, like, if you if you're not watching this, and you're listening, I'm like, shaking my hands into little, like claws and like, are like, I hate it, okay. But sometimes it's just life, and it's gonna happen. So what I thought was really important, though, is recognizing what it was that I was feeling that this wasn't an emotion from my current present self. This was something from my past that needed to be not even, quote, unquote, fixed or resolved. I wasn't trying to path pologize myself, I just wanted to give voice like, I wanted to give a little safe space. For that part of me, that was feeling nervous and anxious and scared. And you know, we're not going to do a whole therapy session right now. That was between me and me. But I had to recognize like, Okay, where is this coming from? And it's so easy for me to go back in time. I'm very much in touch with my younger self in certain ways. And say like, oh, yeah, well given, given who you are raised with and how things were back then. I can see why. Disappointing somebody feeling like, you know, you're doing something wrong feeling like just you being alive. You being a kid, you being you know, like who you are a little kid with enthusiasm and energy or whatever. You get excited about things. How that was a problem for some people in your life. You know what I mean? So it made perfect sense. But here's the kicker. Here's the path. It's also super duper important. So lean into this and listen. Okay, not trying to be bossy. That sounded bossy. Look at, lean in, and listen, that's not what I'm saying. I'm inviting you, Toby. PGMS. Can you please, those of you who are listening and not watching, I've had to pick up Toby and he's now currently sitting in my lap because it's now it's the Toby pajamas show. Okay. So, okay, remember how I was talking about a little while ago about working from the top down from the analytical mind from the brain down to the body. Okay, that works sometimes. Right? It can be a very, I always say change your mind, change your life, change your story, change your thoughts, change your life, change your perception. Everything changes. We know that a shift in perception, from fear to love. That's a miracle. You can shift your mind from a thought system of fear to a thought system of love man, a holy instinct can happen, all things become possible, when you can shift your perspective. It's powerful, and it's amazing. However, if your nervous system has been hijacked, if your amygdala is like turned on, and your body is in fear mode, have you ever has it ever been helpful when you've been freaked out upset? Whatever, and somebody just tells you to calm down? It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, it's like you're trying to tell my brain and you can sit there and try to tell yourself, I'm doing air quotes. Tell yourself to not be anxious, right? You can, you can try to tell yourself and talk yourself out of anxiety. Good luck with that, when you're nervous system and all those hormones, all those chemicals, right? Cortisol, adrenaline that is coursing through your body, because your amygdala came on, and your sympathetic nervous system is kicked in. So here's the thing, once I recognize in my mind what the situation was, I was like, Oh, this is excellent. This is really helpful. Because now I understand that it's not 55 year old me that's having this reaction, because it's gonna be fine. And even I'm not in trouble. I'm not in trouble. And you know what, you're not in trouble either. When you start to get that feeling. That's why asking that, because that's what it feels like when you're a little kid and you your mother would say, Oh, wait till your father gets home or right like your stepfather or whoever, like, oh, wait till we tell so and so like, and you're like, oh, shit, I'm in trouble. Right? And I've grown up with. I've known people who, you know, their parents used to belt those parents used a spatula or wooden spoon like kids got beat like, and in some really sadistic situations where it was like, you have to go out in the backyard and pick a stick that we're gonna hit you with. Like that was not that at least that part was not part of my experience. But we have still a lot of kids have a little bit of unresolved trauma, because some screwed up stuff that happened was completely normalized by their families by their people of origin where they grew up. It was like normalised, right. So when we find these things trickling up bubbling up to the surface for our attention, we don't want to push it away as weakness. Right? New England kids, especially, we're taught to suck it up and stuff it down. We don't talk about our feelings. You just toughed it out, right? And look, I am grateful that I have a certain amount of toughness, you know, and I'm saying I will, I am grateful for that. But I'm also even,

I'm grateful now that I've softened enough that I can allow myself to feel my feelings without shaming myself, without blaming myself without making myself feel wrong. And we still have some emotions or practices, that that muscle is still growing, you know? And then we have to, like, remind ourselves like, oh, yeah, again, I can have feelings I can have wants, I can have needs, I can, I can plot twist, I can pivot. And the thing is, is that people who either get over it or they won't, they'll deal with it, or they won't, if you show up in honesty and authenticity, and in true genuine remorse are saying, I'm so sorry, I couldn't have predicted this was going to happen. They get to decide what they're going to do with that. Right? Your job is to just communicate it as soon as you can, and to the best of your ability. And whatever they decide to do with it afterwards. It's on them. And PS, it all turned out fine. Right? So what I didn't want to do was spend a lot of time and energy, like twirling, like twirling around in my head, like, Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. And I wanted to nip it in the bud. So let's go back, right. So I was aware of what was happening in my mind, but my body was still having a reaction. And this is like the work that I do with clients and I do with people. And I'm lucky enough that also I've been a yoga teacher for long enough that I know, I know, some ways to help my body feel more resourced, so that I can do some things to calm down my vagus nerve to calm down, you know, my nervous system to create a little more safety in my body. So that the parasympathetic nervous system, which is like rest and digest, that's the part of you that's the relaxation response could come online. So I was like, Okay, now we recognize what's happening. We know how old we were, we now can, like mentally say, You're not in trouble, right? You're not in trouble. I could say to myself, but my body didn't get the memo yet. So I use things like EFT Emotional Freedom Technique, like tapping and stuff like that. And these are all tools, I also share with my clients to start to bring myself back online. Right, there's things like bilateral stimulation, there's different tapping things you can do like EMDR, those of you who have ever tried EMDR, with your therapist or whatever, there's so many different tools. And what I'm trying to say is we want to also not try to think or talk our way out of it, we love to go up into the head, right? But we have kind of like three brains in our body. And we'll talk about this another time. But we have like, what the head knows what the heart knows, and what the gut knows, right? And so bringing those three into alignment, right and letting them know, like, hey, a distress signal has been sent up, right? And who's going to handle this. So if I recognize, oh, it's a younger part of me, than I need 55 year old me to kind of step in and share the tools that I have learned over many, many, many years of study and practice, to say like, Hey, and look. I always like I want to clarify this because it makes it sound like I'm like, Oh, I did many, many, many years of practice, right? You know why? Because my I had a tough time growing up, right? So out of my own trauma and suffering. I was seeking relief, I was looking for a better way. I was looking for tools that were not taught to me, were not available to me, whatever. And thank God, I was a reader. I was a lover of books. I'm not afraid to be like, quote, unquote, look stupid and ask 1000 questions, right? I sought out books and trainings and people and mentors who could help me. I didn't always do it, like consciously like, oh, wasn't so smart. Right? It's just kind of how things went in my life where I sought out things that would help me. So one of the things here is right, we started with the brain. We started with the mind. I was like, Okay, I recognize that I'm having an issue dropped down into the body. I can do some pranayama I could do certain breaths like the physiological sigh I can do some tapping. I can do bilateral stimulation. I could get on the floor and do some yoga postures, right? I'm like, Okay, we gotta let the body experience Some safety here, we got to break this pattern because that's all anxiety is it's a habit, it's a pattern. It's a way of being and thinking in your body and in your mind. And then we cannot forget spirit. Right? So my spirit is always intact, it is untouched, it is eternal. It doesn't change like the body does or your moods do or your thoughts do. So this is like internal stabilizing, right? So whether you have a DSP, a daily spiritual practice, whether you pray or you meditate, or you chant, or you do rosary beads are your do your mantra, whatever it is, right. So I've been using mantra for a really long time. And I also pray I meditate I use look at, I'm a spiritual mutt, I will use whatever is available to me. So once I start to recognize, oh, I'm a little dysregulated. Right now I feel a little like, like, I'm like, what tools do I want to use, right to help my body feel safe. And then I also helped my mind by replacing scary thoughts, negative thoughts, fearful thoughts, with more positive things. So using a mantra, which is different than a positive affirmation, I have to say, but using a mantra that I've used for a really long time, right, to start to kind of bring myself back to center to come back home to myself. So it's an effort of mind, body, and spirit, right? And if one of those things is missing, right, so the physical body is being affected, the emotional body, as I would call it, is being affected, the mental body is being affected in the spiritual, right, those all these combined together. And I wanted to share this with you, in case you find yourself reacting, and in any particular situation where you're like, what's going on with me? Why am I feeling this way? Why am I getting so defensive, or reactive or scared or whatever. So whenever you recognize that you have lost your peace of mind that you have given it away, that is a really good sign when your body starts to send up flares, like, hey, something's going on. If we can pause and ask ourselves those questions, right? How old are you right now? Meaning, what part of you like what part of you of your different parts of your personality? What age is the part of you that is scared as freaking out as feeling defensive as being kind of whiny or mouthy, or, you know what I'm saying? Like what's happening? And instead of shaming that, asking, remember how you know that saying, Be the adult that you needed when you were a kid? Well, sometimes we have to be the adult or the parent that we needed to ourselves. Even though we are now chronologically a particular age, there are parts of us that get stuck or frozen, right? Back when things happened. So having compassion and kindness to yourself, taking a bottoms up approach, sometimes from the body up to the head, because they're communicating with each other all the time. And also, using different tools for each thing can be incredibly helpful. And the more that we're able to slow down, check in, ask ourselves these things, realize, like, Oh, this is something from my past. And every time you show that younger part of yourself, that you're gonna be there, that you're gonna listen, that what they're feeling matters, that they're safe. This is how we turn down the alarms that go off in our body. So it's powerful stuff. So I just wanted to share this with you again, you might be able to relate, you might use a little bit different, you might not hear it in your head as Oh shit, I'm in trouble. But that's how I felt it in my body. And I was like, You're not in trouble. You're 55 You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to make mistakes you are allowed to write, do things that sometimes might disappoint other people. And like I said, it was all fine. It worked out. But that immediate like whoa, like, oh shit. Oh, God, I'm in trouble, right? It's just fascinating. It's fascinating to me. So have you been keeping a sense of humor about it, too? It's a really good thing. So thank you so much for spending a little time with me. I hope this has been helpful in some way. And if like I said, if you're a new viewer, if you're catching this on conquering TV, thank you so much. I'm so excited to have you here. I hope you enjoy the show. Wherever you go. Wherever you go in the world. May you leave yourself, the people the planet, the animals the environment better than how you found it. Wherever you go. May you be a blessing. Bye