For someone who loves being out in the yard, I'm not much of a grass guy. When things get out of hand, I need power tools and the help of a legendary ladies' hiphop supergroup to set things right.

Want to see pics from the garden? Instagram: @freshclippings

Show art by Alison McKenzie

Production guidance from Evan Roberts

Episode music from Blue Dot Sessions:

Our Son the Potter (Love and Weasel)

Pigpaddle Creek (Sour Mash)

Gamboler (Pglet)

Special musical cameo from:

"Not Tonight (Ladies Night Remix)" (Lil Kim, Da Brat, Missy "Misdeameanor" Elliott, Angie Martinez, and Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes)

I thought I was being really clever.

There was this sort of formless, ugly square patch.

Lawn in our backyard when we moved in and I thought, you know what?

I can do something way better with this.

Uh, I dug out half of it, made a little bed and the other half I turned into a

more organic shape and I thought I'll over plant some Clover over , plant

some daisies, and then it'll turn into this lovely sort of mountain meadow.

Uh, I didn't know.

That if you leave grass alone, it it's not a meadow.

It's Jumanji.

It is foolishness in my backyard right now.

Every time I look outside, I just have this lawn remorse,

this sort of grass guilt.

So that's what we're doing today.

We're going to take care of that.

We're cutting the grass.

So let's get outside

after you Millie.

Oh God.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This, this mess has to go.

It is, I,

I don't know.

Must be removed.

Okay.

I made myself an espresso.

Listen to ladies night remix with Lil Kim and Missy Elliott.

A couple of times on loop to get fired up.

Let's do the game plan one more time.

Basically, this started as a fairly simple chore in my head.

Uh, the grass is enormous, but I was just going to get some sheers and just

hack it all down to a reasonable size.

Um, my husband did what husbands are great at doing, which was turn this into a

project that had a few more moving parts.

Um, so he went on Facebook marketplace, found a weed whacker.

Then the weed Wacker needed twice.

Then figuring out how to rethread the weed Wacker with the twine

became a YouTube black hole.

So it's a little more complicated than when we started out,

but we are still up for it.

As little Kim says, I got all my sisters with me.

In this instance though, it's uh, it's just the cats at me,

so we're gonna figure it out.

Let's do it.

. Oh man.

Okay.

I'm standing in front of this stuff.

Like when I said Jumanji, I seriously was not getting, uh, it, I'm standing

in front of the grass and there's grass that goes above where my belly button is.

If I stood out here naked, you could be looking across at me and take

a picture and that would make it through the Instagram filters.

It is that ridiculous.

The cats won't even walk on it anymore.

It's so.

It is really it's, it's completely taken over the yard.

So I'm glad we're doing this.

Um, obviously some might say I let this go on too long, but then we wouldn't

be having this adventure together.

So let's check out the machine and let's, let's do battle.

Okay.

Now, if somebody told you that you weren't supposed to use a weed

whacker and hold a microphone at the same time, they were just lying.

This is no problem at all.

Okay.

I've got to plug that.

Let's try it.

I'm just going to give it a buzz.

I'm like, God, it works.

Okay.

It works.

Okay.

Uh, let's give this.

it's not smoking per se, but it doesn't sound happy.

I mean, it's doing battle with like full on like jungle vines.

It did do some trimming,

but it's running out of battery.

Is that a thing?

It doesn't have a battery it's like plugged into the wall.

okay.

I will say.

I'm not sure this is like whacking weeds so much as gently sculpting

them, but maybe it's just kind of how I have to move forward.

it sounds like it's really struggling.

Uh, okay.

Ooh, just had like three wasps fly out.

I didn't think about warning the bugs in here to let them know this was going on.

Uh, Sorry guys.

I know this has been the chill spot to hang out.

kind of feel like I'm like the evil, real estate developer that came into a place

where all the teens were hanging out all summer and it was like paving it over to

turn it into a mini Mart or something.

The grass has got to go.

I know this has been a fun place.

Okay.

Uh, once I put down the mic learned a couple things first surprising.

It actually is an easier job if you are using do hands.

So cool.

Fine.

Second, uh, those yard work, Goggle things.

Aren't just for good looks.

They, I guess, serve a function and I needed to go up and get

some sunglasses because you know, you gotta protect the moneymaker.

And specifically I do enjoy the power of sight.

We're making some progress.

Is this easier than just attacking it with Clippers?

You know, I really, really love my marriage, so I'm not sure

I need to answer that on this podcast, but we're getting some.

Um, so let's keep at it from now.

it's like more of a weed whacker, but maybe like a weed harasser or weed.

some of these things it's kind of, I mean, these, these are prodigious dress stocks.

They are, they're more hay than grass at this point, but

it's kind of just bending them.

The grass looks disappointed, but not con.

All right.

Our very kind neighbor.

Doug took pity on me, hassling my patch of grass and, uh, suggested that he

might have a better tool for the job.

So we've upgraded.

This thing is much bigger and it kind of looks like a star wars weapon.

So I'm excited to do battle more.

Let's give this one a spin and see.

Oh, that is a lot more power.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's try this again.

That is extremely satisfying.

Okay.

This is going to go a lot faster now.

So I think we're, I think we're going to make progress.

It occurs to me.

This is, you know, this is de brat.

Like if we were making power tools for the lawn, each be the

ladies and the ladies night song.

This is the, the big guns there at the end.

You know, where you, you get somebody who really knows what they're

doing and can just absolutely

deliver.

I was.

I led in with the NG Martinez.

I guess it's a good place to start, but she's not going to

get you to where you need to go.

You know, she just kind of warms you up.

You had to bring into brat to finish it.

okay.

Well, I got to scrape up all the grass leavings, but things

are looking much better.

Uh, finally, I can see a lot of the plants that I intentionally put in instead of

just the wild jungle that I allowed.

Exert itself on my space.

So, you know, the comparison game, it's a little manscaping for the yard, which

is basically landscaping, I guess.

Anyway,

, Thanks so much for joining me big, thanks

brought in the big guns on this one.

Uh, it's kind of fun to have neighbors that lend you power tools.

It's an element of the straight experience that I have not.

Not fully been able to participate in yet.

So pretty sweet.

check us out on Instagram We're fresh clippings Send us questions.

I'm happy to make some quick little answers, um, or, you know, tips if,

uh, there's anything you're curious about or anything you want to see.

But in the meantime, thanks for joining me in the.

Have a great day.