Shownotes
In a thought-provoking discussion, Deborah confronts the difficult realities faced by diabetics when dealing with healthcare providers. Her recent experience with her endocrinologist, who she once viewed as an ally, took a disheartening turn when the doctor’s approach felt more like bullying than support. This episode is an exploration of how such interactions can impact a patient's mental and emotional health, making it clear that the patient-doctor relationship is critical in chronic disease management. Deborah boldly challenges the notion that fear and intimidation can be effective motivators, arguing instead for a compassionate conversation that recognizes the patient as a partner in their own care.
Deborah reflects on her long-term experiences with various doctors, revealing a pattern of bullying behavior that has left many patients feeling alienated and discouraged. She emphasizes that diabetes management is not just about following medical advice; it is about creating a dialogue where patients feel heard and understood. By sharing her emotional struggles during the appointment and her husband’s instinct to defend her, she illustrates the very real psychological toll such encounters can take. The episode articulates a vital truth: effective diabetes care requires more than just medical knowledge; it requires empathy, communication skills, and a willingness to engage with patients as individuals.
The podcast closes with a powerful call to action for both patients and doctors. Deborah encourages diabetics to advocate for themselves and to seek out healthcare providers who approach their care with kindness and respect. At the same time, she urges doctors to cultivate a practice environment that prioritizes understanding and support over intimidation. This episode is not only a personal narrative but also a rallying cry for change within the healthcare community, emphasizing that a respectful and collaborative relationship can lead to better health outcomes for everyone involved.
Takeaways:
- The medical community often employs a bullying approach towards diabetics, which is unhelpful and detrimental.
- Effective communication between doctors and patients is crucial for managing diabetes successfully.
- Diabetics are not resistant to care; they need compassionate interaction rather than intimidation.
- Patients should not be held solely responsible for misunderstandings regarding appointment schedules and treatment plans.
- Doctors must recognize their role in a patient’s health journey and not just act as authority figures.
- Building a supportive and understanding relationship is vital for effective diabetes management.
Chapters
- 02:23 - The Week's Episode
- 04:34 - The Bullying Culture in Diabetes Care
- 06:57 - The Appointment Experience
- 08:26 - A Team Effort in Diabetes Management
- 11:40 - The Power Dynamics in Doctor-Patient Relationships
- 13:28 - A Call for Civility in Healthcare
- 13:47 - Conclusion and Reflection
Research Links
Community
Join the DiabeticReal Podcast crew (fan club) at DiabeticReal.net. This is for ALL people, and not just diabetics. It is about the attitude of thriving and listening to our bodies, as well as living positively and encouraging each other.
Episode Credits
Perfectly Wonderful World [Episode Music]
- > available here <
- sung by Deborah E, Jazz Singer
- written by Denny Martin & Jaimee Paul
- mastered in Seaside Records Studio by Michael Anderson
For more information or questions, please feel free to contact us via DiabeticReal.show/contact. (Be sure to mention it if you are a DiabeticReal Community Member!)
Some of the links in our show notes may be affiliate links. This means, at no additional cost to you, we may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through those links. We only recommend products or services we believe will add value to our listeners.
Thank you for supporting the DiabeticReal Podcast! 😎 We thank you! 😎
(Hint: You can also support directly via the Tip Jar on the Community Membership page 😁 )
© 2023-2024 Social Web Cafe (Seaside Records, part of Michael T. Anderson dba Anderson Creations)
----------------------------
Mentioned in this episode:
Join DiabeticReal Community
Become a part of the DiabeticReal Community and help shape the direction of the podcast while also supporting the podcast, diabetics, and yourself!
Would You Like to Share?
Sign up to possibly be a guest on the DiabeticReal Podcast.
Listen to Perfectly Wonderful World
Listen to Perfectly Wonderful World by Deborah E
Transcripts
Welcome everyone, to another episode of DiabeticReal. And I'm Deborah, your host. This is a bit ironic.
I just recorded the episode about diabetic complications yesterday and mentioned how sometimes it feels like doctors can apply fear to diabetics to get them to behave the way they want in the name of what's best for the diabetic. As my husband put it today, doctors can behave, well, like bullies. This morning I was thinking that that applied to all doctors.
Well, except my doctor.
I went to go see my endocrinologist, thankful that she's one of the nice doctors who's not a bully, but who truly listens to her patients and works with them. Wow, I got the surprise of my life. Did I not understand her or meet the real her? Well, okay, that's not the point of this episode.
You know, it's about diabetics and how dealing with your diabetes, you know, how to deal with your diabetes. It's not about doctors or particular doctors or personalities of doctors or disorders of doctors or any of that.
But anyway, I will say that in my decades of meeting with doctors for diabetes, for endocrinologists, meeting with endocrinologists, internists, whoever the doctors are, I have been bullied more times than not. And I'm not saying that as a whiner. I'm just saying it seems to be a trend that.
Well, I don't know, it's like the medical field thinks that that's the right way to deal with diabetics. And I've talked to enough diabetics to say, hey, we don't need to be bullied to do this.
It's not like we're over here resisting trying to take care of ourselves and we have to be beaten up in order to do it. We want to be healthy as well, so why not talk to us like human beings anyway?
Does that mean I bear no responsibility for my own care or making changes in my care or following directions? Absolutely not. It is all about how it is approached. It's about how the doctor approaches the patient.
That is where my background in psychology comes into play. The doctor does not have to hit the patient over the head with a baseball bat to get the point across.
There are definitely kinder ways to talk, simply communicate. Now, it might help if the doctor took some courses in communication or psychology, but don't try to be the psychologist.
I'm not trying to pick on my doctor, my endocrinologist. But you know what? She's not a psychologist. And that was pretty evident today in my appointment it was not working.
So, doctors, please don't bully, don't badger, don't beat up your patients. Please, I beg of you. So back to the appointment.
My husband and I are in the room waiting for her, and she walks in with two students and sits down and says, I want to know why you have not seen me in X amount of time. What do you have to say for yourself? Or something like that.
I look straight ahead at the students, which is less conspicuous than turning to my husband. Well, let's put it this way. I cry easily, so I know if I turn to my husband, I will start crying.
As it was, I was on the edge of crying the entire appointment. Honestly. Can I ask you what's accomplished even if I cry easily? What does it accomplish if your patient wants to cry 30 seconds into the appointment?
And let me mention that I did not even know how many times I was supposed to meet with her. Maybe I'm a ding dong, I don't know. But if she had mentioned it, I was not aware of it. Somehow. I didn't have any notice of it.
I'm not trying to say that's an excuse. I'm just saying let's look at the big picture here. Maybe it would have been helpful if there had been some notice somewhere, some indicator.
I'm not saying that I had zero responsibility. I'm just saying I didn't necessarily have 100% responsibility. I'm saying this is a team effort.
And so many times the doctors say, hey, this is a team effort that we're going to approach your diabetes. But then when they're beating you over the head with a baseball bat, are they taking shots at themselves? No, they're just bullying the diabetic.
Now, I'm not saying they hit themselves. They shouldn't hit themselves. Nobody should get hit over the head with a baseball bat at all. Nobody should be bullied.
But it seems like they just beat up the diabetic and they don't take any responsibility. So in this case, previously, I had been meeting once a year, and I've been doing this for decades.
I didn't know it changed, but according to the new insurance that I had just acquired this month, I found out from Medtronic, my pump manufacturer, and my diabetic supply provider, which makes sense because it's a pump provider that I needed to meet with my doctor quarterly. Okay, not a problem. So I called her office. Note this. I took the initiative. I called her office. I'm being a big girl.
I'm doing the right thing because I've just found out new information that I need to do this. I call her office and was able to get an appointment for the next day since there was a cancellation.
Now again, maybe I'm a ding dong and everybody in the world knows it's supposed to happen quarterly. That could be, but I didn't get the memo at this point and I hadn't been doing it once a year, four years maybe.
I just had a very tolerant insurance company. I don't know.
Whatever it was, the point being here, as soon as I got the information, I acted on it within the week and I got an appointment within 24 hours, less than 24 hours. So beyond that I didn't actually know that I was supposed to meet with her. I scoured her website and I did not readily find that information.
It's not like I got an email notification, letters, phone calls that I was aware of anyway.
So here I am, making an appointment, being responsible based on the information that I had available and the information that I received from Medtronic because they were nice enough to call me right away. And the formerly nice doctor, now acting like a bully, put me in tears and asked me to account for why I took so long to see her.
I said as nicely as I could because I didn't want her to feel that I was being antagonistic and I didn't want to sound antagonistic in any way. I said, I'm not going to make an excuse. I looked at these students, they actually looked like they felt bad for me.
I dare say they looked a little horrified. My husband said later that he wanted to jump in and reprimand her for being such a bully, but he was afraid it would only cause her to shut down.
And a few minutes later she made it clear that she had the power to cut off my pump supplies prescription wise, so that they would not be covered by insurance. Considering how expensive the pump supplies are, that would put me back to insulin shots instead of the pump.
And in another episode I'll explain the difference as far as the treatments. So here is this bully holding all the power, beating me over the head with this information, saying, why didn't you come see me on time?
Exclamation point, exclamation point. I said, honestly, I don't know.
She said, then who are you going to blame when you don't get your supplies on time because they're waiting for my approval. I said, well, I certainly wouldn't blame you.
She said, because looking at your data from the insulin pump, that is the type of person you seem to be that you would come yell at me. Here's where I say, okay, I want to say, where's your psychology degree?
But why are you assessing me, a human being, based on data from an insulin pump? And now you're going to assess that I'm going to yell at you for something like this? Lady, I'm not going to yell at you.
I'm here because I found out I need to be here for an appointment. I'm addressing my responsibilities to be here for an appointment. Can we just sit down and have an appointment?
People, tell me, how complicated is this? Can we be nice to each other? Do we have to yell at each other? Do we have to pull out baseball bats and beat each other up? And can't we be civilized?
And this is part of the reason why I created DiabeticReal, to give a voice to the diabetics, saying, please treat us like civilized people. This is Deborah E. And I will see you in the next episode of DiabeticReal.
