Have you ever been exposed to THE SILENT TREATMENT ?

The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person. People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships

Usually you are being served with THE SILENT TREATMENT when you triggered something in the other person and he or she is not capable of communicating in the moment.

It is a very very painful and uncomfortable situation to be in.

Are you on the receiving end of this.

Are you engaging in this behavior and are not aware of it?

anyways

let's chat about it !

with love

Aurora

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be spending some time

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with you today. How you doing? Well, it's a beautiful, sunny,

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spring day today.

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Nevertheless, my grandmother felt the need to treat me with

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the silent treatment.

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For that, for some of you, it might be novelty, and might be

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something that you've never experienced in your life before,

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and you don't even know that it exists. And others know exactly

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what I mean. And others grew up with that, and give people the

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silent treatment at times, without even knowing.

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So I didn't look up any definitions now.

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To see how I would word it, silent treatment for me. And my

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experience is when you upset someone, intentionally or

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unintentionally, and that person doesn't react, respond in the

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moment, but only after, after you left the room after you left

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the house.

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After you said goodbye, that person ponders on the

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conversation that was had the fight that was had,

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and builds up so much anger, so much resentment, that they

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poison themselves. And the next time you see them, they will not

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make eye contact. It's probably very different for different

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people. But in my case, my family doesn't make any eye

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contact. They go about the day, maybe a little more aggressively

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than usual. And in my case, my family, it is the female

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relatives that I have that indulge a little more and

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cleaning and cooking.

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And

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whatever you say, they will answer with one word or two

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words, but keep it very short.

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And so to say, ignore you.

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And it's a very painful experience to go through.

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Especially if you don't know what you have done.

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Most of the time you ask that person what has happened, and

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they say, everything's fine. It's all good. It's just having

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a day. But you know exactly that. They're not just having a

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day that it's all directed towards you. And sometimes you

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ask them, Hey, like, Did I say something wrong? Are you upset,

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and they just explode in your face and tell you everything

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that you've ever done and how useless needless or whatever

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you are. So to give you an example.

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And it might be very silly for you. But I love to have a wild

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garden. And grandma hates the love trees that are growing in

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front of my house here. So yesterday she was with her at

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eight years.

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like trying to walk through ice and snow to get me to see the

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tree that she wants to cut in front of my house. Remember,

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it's not in front of her house, it's not blocking her view, is

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doing nothing in her life. But she just hates how I have a wild

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garden and she doesn't appreciate that. So she came to

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a point where she nearly fell. And this is where I completely

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lost it. And yeah, I'm not a saint either. I told her this

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was stupid. And I'm not going to cut that tree down.

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And she's gonna break a leg here or something she has to go back

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inside. And I don't want to talk about this with her. So for the

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whole day, and the whole morning this morning. She wouldn't look

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into my eyes. She wouldn't talk to me. And I know she can go

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like this in that mode, self poisoning mode and trying to

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punish me for days and days and days.

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And I just went about my business I uploaded

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An episode and did my usual Facebook

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stuff. But then I said, Ah, fuck, I just have to go and talk

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to her and hear her out and be patient. But not given like, I'm

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still not going to cut that tree down. It's an Aspen tree is a

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beautiful tree that grows next to a pine tree, or a spruce

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tree, I don't know. But I learned that those trees have a

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beautiful symbiosis.

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I know you pronounce that differently in English, but I

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don't know how to pronounce it right? Those trees give each

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other nutrients. The one tree has shallow roots. The other

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tree growing right next to him, has deep roots. So that tree

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sucks up the nutrients and the water from deep down and

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nurtures himself and the neighboring tree. So I love to

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see those. Both trees growing next to each other. And

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grandma's just like this leafy tree growing next to a needle

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tree. And I just hate that view. It looks very an orderly.

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And yeah, chaotic. And maybe you guys know me listening to my

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podcast here, but maybe you don't don't I love chaos. I love

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how Mother Nature has unpredictability and wildness.

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And

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yeah, beautiful little stories, like I just told you between

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those two little trees. And I see absolutely no use in doing

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that job. So then she makes me feel as if I'm the laziest brat

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there is on earth. And I just resist because it has nothing to

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do with how productive I am. If I resist to do that little job.

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So there's a whole thing of generational generational

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dispute going on and values and beliefs. And she wants strict

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order. And I love natural chaos. And so she treats me with the

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silent treatment. And really, if you have gone through that you

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are being

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made feel,

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I don't know, if you say that way, like the worst person on

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earth. And you really have to grow out, you have to grow up

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and out of that system to realize that the whole problem

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lies with the other person not being able to express their

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anger and resentment in the moment.

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It's not that they

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are intentionally doing that. But I think that just wired and

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they have not the ability to break out and to open up and

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gently express themselves. They either have to explode on your

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face, or they have to make you feel shitty about yourself. And

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it's a very, very uncomfortable situation to be with.

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I've only met women being able to do that. So if you are a

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woman out there who experienced that, from the other side, your

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man was doing that to you. Please reach out to me and share

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with me. But so far, I've only seen observed lab behavior, and

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my female relatives, and among females, it's a very painful

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experience to go through. Because I feel most of us want

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to hear was what was upsetting the other person. But I feel

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they believe that their opinion maybe is not worth enough or

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that they will not be listened to. And this is why they react

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like that. And yeah, I mean, I'm not saying as I said, I can get

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really loud. And if I find something stupid and useless. I

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voice it right away and this might be intimidating the other

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person and then they shut down and choose to punish me the

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silent way.

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It's not the solution though. So that's why I said to myself, I

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have to reach out to her I have to like build a bridge again

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because there's no point in sitting in that

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That misery for all too long she is suffering. I can ignore it,

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but I choose not to so awesome.

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Again, if you if experienced the silent treatment, reach out to

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me on Facebook or Instagram, you can find me under Aurora Eggert

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or the Borealis experience on Instagram. I would love to chat

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about it in a little more depth. And if you realize now holy

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shithead This is me. I'm giving people the silent treatment and

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how can I get out of it. also reach out to me and we can have

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a chat about it. Because I feel it's a very important thing to

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talk about. It's something that we might not be aware about. And

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it's so destructive and crippling, to your partner and

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to the relationship you're living in.

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Thank you so much for listening to this episode today. I feel

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it's an important topic to talk about.

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No matter on which end you're standing if you are the sender,

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the creator of the silent treatment. Please be aware that

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you have to learn to express your emotions. And to not be

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scared of reactions, you just stand your ground. And if you

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are the receiver of the silent treatment, know that you don't

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have to put up with it. You can confront that person in a very

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gentle and loving way and ask them to speak up. But if they

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don't choose to, if they choose to keep treating you like that,

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not talking to you, avoiding you, then please take your

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things and leave that situation until that person decides to

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open up. Don't expose yourself for an extended time to that

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poisonous behavior.

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Thank you for listening to the Borealis experience and sending

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my love out there to you and I will be out there for you