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6 Strategies to Focus The Distracted Mind EP 182
Episode 18228th April 2023 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
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Join Dr Demartini and learn how to awaken your executive center in your forebrain and dampen the impulsive and instinctual distractions occurring from the desire center in your amygdala. You'll discover how to be objective and focused, by prioritizing your life according to what’s most meaningful to you.

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Transcripts

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Extrinsic motivations and distractions run most

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people because they don't give themselves permission to go after what their real

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mission is.

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Most people in their daily life,

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at least once every week or two or three,

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will have a feeling of overwhelm and a feeling of distraction,

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and just feeling like the external world is dominating and you

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need to sort through all the stuff that's being bombarding you.

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And you're sometimes distracted by all that.

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And you believe possibly that you have to do it all.

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It all has to be done now.

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And I know I certainly had a few of those moments in my journey

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and about 40 years ago, 41 years ago, I was asking myself,

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how do I deal with that?

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I was just newly in practice and I felt like I was having way too much happening

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and had to prioritize things and had to organize things and to deal with the

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distractions. So I'd like to give you some tools,

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some practical things that you can do in addition to some principles

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that will help you stay focused and and geared towards the greatest

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fulfillment.

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So when I was in practice 41 years ago or so,

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I noticed that sometimes I would just be completely overwhelmed.

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It seemed like I could just, back off,

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and I'd want to just take it one at a time.

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And so I got out a piece of paper and I wrote down every single thing that was

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on my mind.

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I have now since then formalized it and put that into one of my training

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programs. But at the time,

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I just took a piece of paper out and wrote everything that was on my mind.

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And there was a lot, way more than really needed to be there,

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but I just was carrying stuff in my mind.

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Anything that was vying attention and taking up space and time in my mind,

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I wrote it down. And this was personal or professional,

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I just wrote it all down. A short pencil's better than a long memory.

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Once I got that down on paper,

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that already in itself was useful because I didn't have to carry it around in my

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mind. I had some place to put it. There's a very important principle here that;

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anything you don't have on paper will have to be stored in the mind and some of

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those things for days, weeks, or months or even longer into the future,

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and so instead of being present,

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you're distracting yourself with all this stuff that's just way off into the

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future, or guilts of the past, or fears of the future.

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So I wrote it all down and that calmed a little bit of my distraction down.

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But then I realized there's a lot on my plate.

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And I was feeling I had to do all that and some of it felt urgent

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now.

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So I decided next to that list,

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I wrote another little list. Is this really important to do?

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Or is this something I can dump and forget about and not even put energy into

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it?

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Now I only found out about every 50 to a 100 things that I'd listed

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was a dumper. But I'd rather dump it and just say, you know what,

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that's absolutely nothing I need to be focused on,

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that's silly that I'm carrying it around my head and I'd dump it,

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and I formally let go of it because I don't have to do anything about it.

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But it was sitting around, rumbling around in my head, in my mind, in my head

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as long as it was just not addressed.

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Then on the next column, I wrote these series of columns.

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On the next column I wrote down who could I delegate this to?

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Who could I delegate this to?

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Is there anything on this list that could be delegated to somebody else?

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And if so, who? And in the process of doing that,

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I realized that some of these things on my mind were projects.

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So I decided to take those projects and break them down into the action steps

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that could be done daily so I could break them into smaller bites.

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And then I created a delegation sheet.

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A delegation sheet is something I could write down with another name on it.

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And so it can explain what I need done and the date.

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And I did them by dates.

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So if I had something that needed to be done on Tuesday,

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I put all the Tuesday together, all the Wednesdays together, et cetera.

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And when I wrote out who I was going to delegate it to and all the things that

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needed to be delegated, already that was a huge load off my back.

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Because I realized I was carrying around stuff that really needed to be handed

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over to specialists that could do things that I wasn't really equipped to do or

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inspired to do. It wasn't highest on my priority.

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But I was carrying it around because I knew there's a project needed to be done,

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I needed to get rid of it off my mind.

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And that's why if you don't have some place to put things and sort them through,

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it stays in your head and scatters you, distracts you.

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So once I put them down on the dates, exactly who I was going to delegate it to,

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the day it was to be done and I broke it down into small bites.

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So it was a project that'd be done that day so it's not delegating a project to

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take weeks, I broke it down into kind of into little bites,

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so I had the date set up to be done.

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I then had whatever was left; dump delegate,

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the next one was 'to do'. What am I going to do? Well,

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I found out that there was way more delegations than

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could give to somebody else to do. And the ones that I needed to do,

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I wrote down what needed to be done and the appropriate dates,

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and I made sure they didn't overwhelm myself on those dates.

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And then I kept a stack of those dates of when I was to do it and what I was

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going to do in advance. And I kept those chronologically into the future,

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for the next 30 days or so.

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I had the delegations also into the future for the next 30 days for each of the

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individuals I was going to delegate to. As I was doing this,

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my mind was calming down,

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because I realized that I'm carrying around 90 things in my mind today.

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And really, most of these are done into the days, into the weeks of the future.

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But I'm carrying around today worrying about it, anxious about it.

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Once I put it on 'to do' sheets for myself and delegation sheets to the people I

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was going to delegate it to,

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I then at the very last one put in the actual dates,

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on their forms and my forms and made sure that the dates were accurate and I

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didn't overwhelm them or overwhelm me. And when I got through,

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I took the distraction (DI),

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I had DUMP for something that was not important.

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I had delegate (DE) I had do (DO) and

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had date (DA). I had the D vowel system that I created,

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and I created a formula system for how to handle distractions.

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And for 41 years I've been using that and it's still useful today and I still

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like the hard copy version, not the just the computer version.

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But anything that's not put into appropriate time and date

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will be stored in the mind and distract you and feel overwhelmed by.

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So those are simple things. I call it the Distraction Resolution process.

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And I'd put that out there and it's available.

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I've put it into some of my books.

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I put it into my larger programs and seminar programs on how to be more

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effective and efficient in business.

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But you can start applying that immediately. That will help. But,

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the question you ne need to ask.

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Now when I look at all of those distractions that need

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I found out that a lot of those were things that I had emotions

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about.

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And then I found out that there were things that were easily delegated,

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easily done, not a lot of emotion,

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but then there were other things that were emotional.

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And they weren't little action steps I could do.

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They were things that I had to process in my head.

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Let's say I had somebody that didn't pay their bill and I'm now distracted

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by the emotion that they didn't pay their bill and I'm resenting it.

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Or somebody has now asked me to go somewhere and I haven't made my decision

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whether I want to go and it's a bit not the right time,

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but I'm afraid to say no to them because I don't want to upset them and I'm

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distracted by an emotion of some infatuation, I don't want to be,

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don't want to fear the,

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I have the fear of loss of that individual in my life so I didn't want to say no

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to them, but I'm running around that rummaging in my head.

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So I found that there were practical things that I needed to delegate and do,

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that were used the distraction resolution process,

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but there were also emotional things that I need to address,

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that weren't just a simple thing to do,

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but required more of a processing, a mental processing,

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which is where the Demartini Method came in.

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And I found out that that, you know,

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a percentage of the things that were vying for my attention in my mind that were

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distracting me, that I could easily hand over to delegation to do's, no problem.

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Those are pretty easy to do.

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You can do that and you can take off a huge load off your back.

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But I found that many of them were emotional distractions.

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Not just activity distractions, but emotional distractions.

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And that's where I want to share with you something that's powerful to do.

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See, everybody has a set of priorities in life, a set of values in life.

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And anything that supports your perception of those values,

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you label positive or good, you open up to it, you're attracted to it,

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you have an impulse towards it, it represents prey,

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you want to consume it and use up time for it.

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Anything that challenges your values, you tend to have an instinct to avoid.

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It challenges you, you could label it bad,

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it's negative to you and you want to avoid it and not having to be distracted

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time-wise by.

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So you're filtering your reality through your value system.

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Your perceptions are based on that.

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And anything that you perceive as supportive or

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distracting. Particularly the more extreme it is. The more extreme infatuation,

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we've all been highly infatuated with somebody somewhere in our life and it's

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hard to get them out of our mind. They're preoccupying our mind.

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Because anything we infatuate with that we're conscious of the upsides of and

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unconscious of the downsides of will vie for attention,

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occupy space and time and run our life. And the same things we resent.

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We've all been resentful,

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really angry at somebody and it's hard to sleep at night. You're distracted,

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you can't go to bed because you've got this in your mind.

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Anything that you resent,

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distracts you and takes up space and time in your mind.

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Anything that you have an imbalanced perception on, infatuation,

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where you put more positives than negatives, or resentful,

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anything you have more negatives than positives on will distract your mind as an

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emotion and occupy space and time in your mind and run your mind.

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So when you're making that list of distractions,

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some of those are not just things you delegate and do,

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they're things that are running around and you know,

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distracting your mind inside. They're emotional.

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If you don't balance out the perceptions,

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they're going to keep vying for attention.

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They're going to keep occupying your mind.

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So I found that out 41 years ago too.

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And I already started to develop some remnants of what I've developed now called

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the Demartini Method. But I found out that anything that was really resenting,

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if I didn't find the upsides to it,

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the benefits of it and I didn't find out where I had done that in my own life,

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where I would be less likely to judge somebody,

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I found that that lingered longer.

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And sometimes those lingered for long periods of time stored in my subconscious

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mind.

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And then anything reminded me of it would bring up this emotional enrage again,

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this upsetness again.

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So I realized that if I didn't address those issues and I let them accumulate,

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they're going to sit inside me and create illness.

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Because they're basically distracting the mind.

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A lot of the biochemical imbalances that the pharmaceutical companies want you

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to believe are the source of your illnesses, psychological or physiological,

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are there, there's imbalances, but it's not because there's a lack of drugs,

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or it's not just because it just randomly went out of place.

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It's because you're storing those in your subconscious mind and they're

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affecting your neurophysiology and chemistry.

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So I realized that if I didn't address things on a daily basis and I let things

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accumulate, it was going to build up on me.

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And then I'm going to have these kind of subconsciously stored distractions that

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I'm not even knowing what to do with.

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So if you don't sort through them and itemize them out and take them one at a

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time and methodically dissolve them away, they can run your life.

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And then anything that reminds you of those experiences in the past that are

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stored there can trigger it and create an anxiety response.

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An anxiety or the fear of loss of that which you seek,

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or the fear of gain of that which you're trying to avoid.

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So you're having an anxiety about this stuff that's vying for attention in your

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mind. It's occupying space and time in it and it's running your life.

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And without a doubt,

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a short pencil's been than a long memory when it comes to taking those actions

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that you can immediately act or delegat or do.

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But sometimes the delegation is not easy on these,

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these are things you have to do by addressing them,

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See one is changing actions,

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the distraction resolution is for changing actions and delegating and doing

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actions that are prioritized.

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The other is prioritizing and transforming your perceptions.

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You have control over perception, decisions and actions.

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And knowing which one to do, perceptions or actions, is important.

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So what I do is I go in there and I,

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let's say I'm resentful about something that somebody didn't pay their bill and

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they're trying to, you know, play a game on you,

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which has happened occasionally throughout my career.

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And I go,

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well wait a minute now I've delivered the service and by God they deserve to pay

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for it. And so I will be upset about that sometimes and react to that.

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And then I stop and I go, okay,

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go to a moment where and when I perceive myself displaying or demonstrating that

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behavior. And what's the benefit to me that they've done that?

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First I define what they did, you know,

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they received a service and are now delaying payment,

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refusing to pay or trying to defer pay or avoid paying or something.

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So I go and look at that and I go identify what specifically have they

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demonstrated that I dislike and despise most.

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Then go to a moment where and when I've displayed and done that in my own life.

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Because I find out that what I'm pointing my finger at,

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at other people that I'm judging is a reflection of something I've done in my

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life. And that's,

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I'm feeling ashamed about it and that's why I'm judging them for it.

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And then I go and find out how it serves me.

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And maybe that's making sure that I get a deposit upfront or get full payments

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before we begin the presentation or whatever the service is,

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making sure that I value myself more,

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and I look at all the benefits of it until I'm actually in a gratitude attitude

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for them, for their lesson that they've given me. And when I do it,

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I'm less reactive and I can then write a more formal objective letter to them

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saying somehow there's been an insight, an oversight about the payments.

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If for some reason that you have a dispute about the payments,

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please let me know what the dispute is, if not,

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and then I can objectively handle that without an emotional reaction and

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retaliation.

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So now once I've neutralized that with the Demartini Method and a series of

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questions I've taken myself from my emotional reactive,

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amygdala based distractive, subconsciously subjectively biased state,

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to now in a more objective, more rational, more reasonable, more loving,

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more understanding state.

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One is what they call systems one thinking where you emotionally react before

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you think.

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And the other is systems two thinking where you now have a balanced orientation

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and you're now thinking before you react.

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By doing the Demartini Method that I teach in the Breakthrough Experience

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Seminar,

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you can actually learn how to do that when you are in any way distracted by

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emotions. If you're distracted by actions,

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you prioritize them and do the distraction resolution form.

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If you're distracted by emotions,

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which sometimes are more powerful than even the distractions by actions,

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then you pull out the Demartini Method or come to the Breakthrough Experience

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and learn how to do that, so you've got that tool so you're not reacting,

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you're proacting. In the process of doing that,

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you find out that all of a sudden this distraction that's on your life,

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is sorted. Now there's other things you can do to take care of distractions.

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Let's say things come across your desk and you know,

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you maybe you have a bunch of,

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we used to use file folders in the early seventies and early eighties,

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late seventies, file folders.

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I had one for each day of the month and I had one for each month of the year.

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And anything that came in there,

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I put it in appropriate file for the day or the month.

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And that way I wasn't having everything on my desk today. I had it sorted.

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Between the distraction resolution form and the file categorization systems,

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I didn't get distracted when I used those.

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And then when I had the Demartini Method, as I developed that,

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I had all the emotional distractions, a solution.

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And once I did one, the distraction resolution and the filing system,

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and once I did the other,

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my mind was clear and present and poised and productive and

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prioritized and purposeful and patient.

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And I wasn't distracted so much by the outside world. See,

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if you don't say no, by the way,

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you're going to also going to have people around you,

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all different sorts of people,

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all with their values projecting their values onto you,

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and they're going to basically want you to do things that help them fulfill

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their values.

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And some are going to be pertinent to you and some are going to be less

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pertinent. And if you're afraid of losing them as a friend,

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you're going to basically say yes to a lot of them,

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because you haven't had the courage to say thank you, but no thank you,

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right now I've got other priorities and I don't want to give you a halfway job,

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I want to make sure I give you my all if I'm there and I'm not able to,

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because I'm really right now with a lot of deadlines.

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If you don't know how to say tactfully, thank you, but no thank you,

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then you're going to be distracted unnecessarily.

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So learning how to say no, let me look at my priorities,

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let me see where it fits, If I feel it can fit, I will tell you yes.

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If it feel it's not I'll say no, I will get back to you if it's,

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if it's a yes, I will not get back to you if it's a no.

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Just make a simple process there.

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So you know how to handle the people that are trying to get attention,

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opportunists and people that are distracting,

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they're not necessarily trying to be distractive,

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they're just trying to fulfill their values and they're projecting those values

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onto you and not necessarily considering your needs and values at the time.

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Out of respect, you might, when you realize that people are doing that,

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you might consider that also backwards to other people, you know,

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make sure it's something that's not distracting and projecting onto them.

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But at the same time, if you have the ability to say thank you,

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but no thank you and prioritize it,

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you have the ability to dissolve distractions by the process I gave you the

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distraction resolution,

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you also have the filing system to make sure that nothing piles up on you.

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It's all set up for the days, weeks,

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so you're not thinking of all this stuff in the month ahead today.

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And you know how to do the Demartini Method in transforming the amygdala's

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responses and emotional responses of impulses and instincts,

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systems one thinking to systems two thinking where

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and balanced and poised, that's the key.

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That is the the reason why in the Breakthrough Experience,

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which is one of my signature programs that you probably heard me mention,

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that's one of the reasons why I emphasize those tools in the program,

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to give people the power to not live distracted by the external world,

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but to let them focused and inspired from within. You know,

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I said on the movie The Secret 16, 17 years ago that the voice,

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when the voice and the vision on the inside is louder than all opinions on the

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outside, you begin to master your life. Well that's so true,

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but you can't get that voice and vision on the inside to come loud enough,

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as long as you're letting the other stuff distract you.

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So all these tools that I'm giving you is about how to break through those

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distractions and integrate them. But the number one, one,

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the one that's most difficult is the emotional one.

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And that's why I teach people the Breakthrough Experience and the Demartini

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Method because it's easy to sort through on a piece of paper your distractions

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and to-do list, that's very fast, you can do that in 30 minutes and it's done,

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and all that stuff's off your plate. But all the emotional ones,

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all the things that you've stored up in your subconscious mind that you're

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infatuated or resentful, if you don't have a process for that,

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that can distract you from your greatest productivity and keep you from being

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focused. And people,

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one of the most common things in the 1980s when I asked people questions in live

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seminars, when I tell them write your questions down and send them in,

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the number one question I got in the 1980s was, how do I stay focused?

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I keep getting distracted.

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And I'm absolutely certain that one of the main reasons why people are not

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focused and they're distracted is because they've got stored in their

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subconscious mind a bunch of emotional baggage, all the resentments,

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all the infatuations, all the nightmares, all the fantasies,

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all the avoidances of instinct and all the seekings of impulses

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that are vying for attention in their mind, that are running their mind,

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that's sitting there.

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And that's why you do the Demartini Method to ask questions,

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to equilibrate to mind and bring it back into poise and presence.

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That's why in the Breakthrough Experience I teach that method very clearly

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because people who can stay focused on what's highest in their priority and

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really get focused on what their mission is, are less likely to get distracted.

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When you have a very busy day doing high priority things,

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it's easy to say no to people that are trying to get your attention.

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It's easy to say, well, I'm really busy, I've got a high priority day today.

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But if you don't have anything on your plate and you're letting the world around

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you, run you,

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it's easy to get vulnerable to that and let people take up your attention.

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You know, if you don't fill your day with high priority actions,

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your day fills up with low priority distractions.

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And if you don't know how to dissolve those distractions with the Demartini

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Method,

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which I teach in the Breakthrough Experience and don't know how to focus it,

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which is also something I teach in the Breakthrough Experience on how to live by

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priorities and prioritize your daily life and delegate the lower priority things

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and deal with distractions, If you're not certain about that,

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come to the Breakthrough Experience.

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I can show you exactly what to do methodically,

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every single action steps on how to dissolve all that.

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It is really not that difficult on the delegation to do's,

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but learning the art of dissolving the emotional baggage that's stored in the

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subconscious mind and all the compounding anxieties that are coming there,

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that is a mastery that I'm going to show you how to do in that program.

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And I want you to learn how to do it because that is a huge load off your back

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when you've mastered that skill. You know,

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we have the capacity to transform anything that's been in our way to on the way

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by asking new questions.

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So by delegating lower priority things and doing things by priority and taking

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command of that and putting things in order and bringing order to your mind,

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using the Demartini Method from the Breakthrough Experience,

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you can live a focused and very productive and inspired life.

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There's absolutely no reason why we have to let the external world run us.

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Extrinsic motivations and distractions run most

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people because they don't give themselves permission to go after what their real

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mission is. They've never taken the time to prioritize their life.

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They've never given themselves identity of what's really priority and what's

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really a value in their life that's most important.

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And they haven't learned the Demartini Method on how to distract the emotions

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that distract them from being that present state.

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So come to the Breakthrough Experience, learn how to do that particular method,

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learn how to also at the Breakthrough Experience,

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how to identify what's really priority, what really your values are,

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how to organize and prioritize your life, how to delegate things like that,

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and how to use these tools so you can do something more extraordinary with your

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life. Give yourself permission to shine, not shrink, to radiate,

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not gravitate, to focus, not distract and to inspire,

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not de-spire your life.

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That's why I want you to come to the Breakthrough

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a 26 hours of education with you and practical tools where you actually learn

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the tools, how to do that so you can master your life.

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We all want to master our life and do something and make a bigger difference.

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And this is one more step on how to do that.

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So I want to thank you for joining me for this little presentation day,

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this weekly presentation on basically how to, how to you know,

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focused strategies on how to get, you know,

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dissolve distractions in your life and your distracted mind and how to be

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yourself, your authentic self. So take advantage of this little, this video,

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definitely come into the Breakthrough Experience because at the Breakthrough

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Experience I can show you exactly how to do it. It's not just theory,

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it's practically done. You do it. And I look forward to seeing you next week.

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Join me at the Breakthrough Experience and thank you for joining me today.

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