Season 2, Episode 8 | "Action means action. Now means now, stand now." 

In this episode of Strong & Awake, Dane and Mitch challenge the illusion of progress that comes from merely thinking about change rather than taking action. They explore the concept of "Stand Now," urging listeners to break free from the comfort traps that keep them stagnant. They emphasize the importance of immediate action and the power of community in achieving personal growth. Whether it's the allure of buying an online course or the satisfaction of planning without executing, they dismantle the myths that hold us back. This episode is a call to arms for those ready to stop dreaming and start doing, highlighting the transformative journey of becoming strong and awake for love's sake. Join the conversation and discover how to take the first step toward the life you truly desire.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introduction: The Trap of Inaction
• 01:18 The Illusion of Accomplishment
• 05:58 We Have What We Do
• 10:05 A Practice Biased Towards Action
• 15:39 Practical Examples of Standing Now
• 24:25 The Drift of Decision Making 
• 35:40 The Power of Community and Guidance

Mentions:

• Eric Tonjes: Mentioned as a theologian and former professional football player who shared a story about a yard sale.
• Seth Godin: Referenced for popularizing the phrase "let's get real or let's not play."
• Brene Brown: Mentioned in the context of her discussions about being "in the arena," a concept originally from Teddy Roosevelt in his famous "in the arena" speech.
• Dan Tocchini: Mentioned as Dane's mentor who taught him "six little words that will change your life forever."
• "Family Feud": Mentioned as a game show where the strategy to win involves hitting the button before knowing the answer.

Anchor Actions:

1. Stand Now: The core message of this episode is about taking immediate action. Identify one area in your life where you've been procrastinating or overthinking. Today, take a single, tangible step towards it. Whether it's starting a new workout, initiating a difficult conversation, or beginning a project you've been putting off, the key is to act now, not later. Remember, action means action, and now means now.
2. Daily Practice: Establish a daily routine that incorporates an element of voluntary discomfort. This could be a cold shower, a challenging workout, or a period of focused work without distractions. The idea is to build resilience and discipline by consistently doing something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. This practice will help you become the kind of person who doesn't miss a day and continuously grows stronger and more awake.
3. Community Engagement: Consider joining a community or group that support and challenges you, providing a context for you to stand and hold account. Engaging with others who are on a similar journey can reduce cognitive load and provide the guidance needed to stay on track. If you're interested, explore communities like MWOD, where you can find structured support and a shared commitment to personal growth through discomfort.

Join Us:

Our Membership Community (MWOD) is where we embrace discomfort as a path to personal development. Remember, it's probably not for you... but if we're wrong about that, or if you want to find out for yourself, visit us at MWOD.io 🦬

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Disclaimer:

The information shared on this podcast and any related materials from Men & Women Of Discomfort (MWOD) or Flying S Incorporated are for general informational purposes only. You should not use this information as a basis for making decisions without consulting your own medical and legal professionals. We aim to provide accurate and up-to-date information, but we make no guarantees about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability, or comprehensiveness of the content.

At Men & Women Of Discomfort, we promote agency and encourage you to carefully consider the input we offer. If you find it helpful, we invite you to take advantage of it, but do so with the understanding that you bear the responsibility of due diligence. By using our content, you acknowledge that you are taking opportunities at your own risk. Thank you for understanding.

*Transcript Note: The transcript of our podcast is AI-generated and may contain errors. We aim for accuracy but appreciate your understanding and feedback on any discrepancies.

Copyright 2024 Men & Women Of Discomfort (MWOD.io)

Dane: 00:00

It's a trap. It's a full on trap. You're moving backward and you think that you're stalled and considering your options.

Dane: 00:07

If you are thinking you want this, you've done nothing to get it. Until you stand now, you are drifting away from the very thing that you say you want. I don't want to discourage anybody in that. It's actually great news. If you know what you need to go do, stop thinking about it, do it.

Dane: 00:25

I don't want to sound like a jerk when I say this, but the question, how do you get started? Well, how about Get started. move. Take action. Say yes. Put yourself on the hook. And I'm even okay, put yourself on the hook and quit. Quit later. But you've already quit if you didn't put yourself on the hook.

Dane: 00:45

action means action. Now means now, stand now.

Dane: 00:50

As humans we prefer the path of least resistance. We crave convenience, the payoff without the price. But when our lives revolve around comfort, it doesn't deliver. Living in perpetual comfort leaves us weak and asleep. This podcast is an invitation to flip that script, to choose the unlikely path, to get the life you really want through voluntary discomfort.

Dane: 01:14

This is Strong & Awake. I'm Dane Sanders.

Mitch: 01:18

So Dane, have you ever bought an online course?

Dane: 01:22

Oh, have I bought an online course?

Dane: 01:28

Just the beginning of the things that I've bought in a very simple vein.

Mitch: 01:31

The stack of books on your nightstand, all of that. I love buying online courses because it makes me feel like I've accomplished something. I know this thing now. I've bought it. I've taken the action. Uh, or you might have someone that signs up for a couch to 5k or something.

Mitch: 01:46

And then you get that exhilaration of clicking that button, getting the bib in the mail, but we haven't actually. done anything. And what I want to talk about today is that phenomenon, that, that experience that we have, uh, and that satisfaction that we get, but oftentimes we sit in that satisfaction. We think this is the finish line.

Mitch: 02:04

We've accomplished something. Um, and today's anchor is, uh, is one that kind of addresses that and talks about how we actually, where does the action start. And where does our actually practice begin? Um, so let's talk about Stand now,

Dane: 02:20

when I was a young man, I remember being affirmed by a lot of people. Um, and they would talk about my potential as a leader and man, did that feel good?

Dane: 02:34

Man, did that feel good? And. What betrayed their declaration about me was what would happen next, which was, I, I felt like I was the one I had been chosen. They said the thing I, I have the potential, like somehow that was sufficient in contrast with, the smart people who, Almost disregard statements like that, because potential isn't real.

Dane: 03:01

It's not here. Uh, it's, it's almost like to say it's a curse isn't quite right, because we all have potential. But there is a sense in which unactualized potential is awful. It's a sense of like you have access to a thing, but you didn't take access. You didn't take it upon yourself. And I think that's a little of what you're describing.

Dane: 03:23

And, and why so many clever. Course offerings. And it's not, I'm not picking on online courses. It's like anything marketed where if you get this thing, it's going to be amazing. Um, it's so incredible. I I'm reminded, I might've told the story a long time ago here, but, um, I was a part of a, of a community yard sale one time.

Dane: 03:46

And, uh, a friend of mine came up, uh, very, this guy in particular, his name's Eric Tonjes, uh, various kind of accomplished, uh, theologian. And we just happened to work at the same university. And, um, he's also an incredible, used to be a professional football player back in the day. And he was telling this story about an old event that, uh, an old, uh, Yard sale that he was part of where this really, really overweight, out of shape individual was selling a piece of, of, uh, gear, like a machine that if you use it, let's call it a Peloton or like, doesn't really matter what the machine was.

Dane: 04:25

It was just, it was for sale. And here this, um, this super athlete friend was telling me the story, this really fit dude and, me, He was saying how he went up to this guy who was really, I can't overstate this, really out of shape and his first question to the guy was, um, does, we're at a yard sale, it's really cheap, like, does the machine work that he's selling and the guy selling it just kind of looked at him and he went, like, look at the result, like, here it is, of course, how dare you suggest it's not working, like, with this kind of body, are you kidding?

Dane: 05:03

And everyone had a good laugh with the whole idea. But that's precisely it. It's that exact dynamic of we have access to the thing, but if we don't use the thing, there's no thing. It's a mirage. It's, it's not real. And I, I think that's one of the reasons why today's anchor, I think, is such an important conversation.

Dane: 05:26

It's, it's to get us out of our cognitive kind of Experience our inner arm are disembodied conversation with ourselves of i bought the course i bought the machine i bought the whatever i didn't even buy it have proximity to it or i have the potential to or even just the lie of i think i have time like i have for like i'll do that next year or next like as if you know you're gonna have next year you don't.

Dane: 05:51

You just don't and I know that from personal experience, um, familial, you know, my co founder at MWOD like we, we don't know what we have, what we have is what we do. And I would argue that there is stages and we'll talk about both of them today that are critical. Like, we talked a lot about our habits that turn into a routine that ultimately can ultimately turn into a practice when it comes to our practice, a practice has to purpose to purpose.

Dane: 06:21

Purposize or what would you call a plural of purposes, I guess, but two, two, two purposes. And, um, uh, one is to wake up to our potential. One is to wake up to reality, whatever it was. One of the reasons why we, we have a practice every single day. It's becoming a kind of person that doesn't miss a day. We, that's what the practices is helping us become.

Dane: 06:45

Well, part of it is waking up to who we could become, but, but that's insufficient. Okay. It's necessary, but insufficient. And if I take a cold shower, I literally wake up, I hold my breath. I literally wake up and that is, it serves a function, but it's only the first half of the equation. The second half of the equation is to with as little.

Dane: 07:10

Consciousness as possible. Get after the work to get into the thing to stand now. So, you know, this is a, the culmination of all of our anchors that we've been talking about. Get to, um, uh, choose your role fuel first travel light. Prioritize profit, correct course, play infinite, and today is stand now. But standing now is really this two part play where we wake up and then we take action towards getting stronger or in the language of men and women of discomfort, we do all of this to become strong and awake or awake and strong, uh, for love's sake.

Dane: 07:47

And that, that shrinking of that transition from awareness of what I ought to do to what's next is what's so critical. Last comment I'll make. I just came from a. Sweet coffee with this, this, uh, colleague of my son's who reached out to me, uh, extraordinary individual who has overcome tremendous obstacles, um, broken home would be a non, a ridiculous understatement of what he's come from and, uh, the trajectory statistically he ought to have been on and somehow it got interrupted, but he has ambition for more.

Dane: 08:24

He wants to go somewhere else. And we were talking. And he was like, can you give me advice on how I can go get this big thing that I want to go get and I, I had kind of very unsexy news for him that if he really was committed to getting that big dream that he wanted to accomplish, it came down to what he did today, like, would he stand now today, would he not get lost in the vision, the dream, the big thing without tethering it, anchoring it to standing now today?

Dane: 09:00

Because it's. He just turned, um, he's a little older than my son. He's just turned 40. I think, uh, new dad, relatively speaking. And he's like, I'm almost 40. He's like, he feels like he's late to the party. And I'm like, well, if you get started today, you might start seeing the fruit of what you're dreaming about when you turn 50.

Dane: 09:19

And if you can get okay with that, and really lock in to the daily, it might happen sooner. Even when it happens, you won't care as much about it happening. Because you will have been the real article every single day leading up to that, regardless. Standing now is a daily exercise. It's a momentary exercise.

Dane: 09:38

It's a now. Exercise very present and for folks are listening. My hope is that they're a little irritated by that. They'd rather get lost in the future vision of who they could be. Um, the potential. Uh, and what I'm suggesting is get clear eyed on the potential. Know where you're headed. That's great. But then ignore it.

Dane: 09:58

Get to what are the means by which you become that kind of person and stand now.

Mitch: 10:05

Isn't it funny that it's so ironic that we have so much patience for, like, starting the thing where we're totally fine being like, yeah, tomorrow, next week, next quarter, next year in January, I'll start doing this thing. Uh, yet we have such impatience for the results that starting that thing would, would bring us.

Mitch: 10:25

Um, I love the simplicity of this anchor. Like it's so descriptive stand now. And you talked about kind of unpacking both of those things. Um, but it speaks to that kind of immediacy of the action that we're taking right now, the embodied, uh, active standing. Um, and I'd love to kind of unpack each of those, those things right now.

Mitch: 10:48

So do you have a preference of, do you want to focus on standing embodied or kind of proactive immediate action?

Dane: 10:57

Yeah. I mean, On some level, they're the same thing. They, um, if I'm standing, it is happening in the now, and if I'm going to get after it, it's going to involve my body doing it. So I, I don't think, um, it's almost like they're standing is the action and now is the timing and. So it's not standing tomorrow.

Dane: 11:24

It's not standing yesterday. Um, it's standing today, but they're kind of incomplete in, in, in part, they're only complete and whole, the, there is built into it a bias towards presence and, and, and being current, you don't get to rest on the laurels of what happened to you. A decade ago, or what you could be a decade from now, it's and it's action oriented and embodied.

Dane: 11:52

It's, it's, if you're doing something with your physical body in the present moment, you're standing now, not complicated, not esoteric, um, if you're thinking about standing now. You're not standing now. It's this is this. This is where we trick ourselves constantly, right? It's back to your example of like, I bought the course.

Dane: 12:14

So therefore I'm on my way. No, you bought a course. That's all you did. Um, are you in the lesson? Are you moving forward? Are you taking action with your physical body right now? Yeah, now you're standing up. And then when you stop, you're not standing now. So just notice it. It's like, Oh, I'm off course. I correct course.

Dane: 12:36

And this is where I, I'm, I'm, I'm encouraged that how all of the anchors begin to layer on top of each other. They serve each other. So when I realize I'm not standing now, what do I, what ought I to do? Well, you get to choose your role. Maybe fuel first, maybe travel light, and on we go. Um, but if you're not in the thing, not thinking about the thing, not emoting toward the thing, not intending toward the thing, but standing, doing, presently, now, then don't deceive yourself.

Dane: 13:13

And also, you don't have to feel shame about it. I think the opportunity is to go, oh, you've woken up, great, good job. Now stand now. And then stand now again. And then stand now again. And this is the end. This is the good news, um, that we even get to stand now. There's, there's this, uh, moment that we're in right now in our community at men and women of discomfort.

Dane: 13:37

We're in week 12. And as you know, we're both doing it. And, uh, there's a, such a huge temptation for people who have stood for 12 weeks to think they've accomplished something and, and they have in a sense, but it's already historic. It doesn't actually count for anything. It's. It, it buys into this idea of kind of this binary linear path where, Oh, I've accomplished a thing.

Dane: 14:09

I've made it, you know, we see pro sports teams win championships. Like they, they can, that can never be taken from them. They won, but the moment the season's over, they're in the same part as everybody else. They're playing a finite game where the chances, their job is to, to get after it again. And our interest is to wake people from their delusion in our community and help them understand if they're not.

Dane: 14:35

standing now tomorrow, or I guess it'll be Sunday after we're finished this round on Saturday, then guess what? They, they've begun the process of losing all of their gains of moving in the opposite direction. There's no static position where we stop. It's you're moving forward or backwards. And the job of our, the reason we do our practice every single day, never miss a day practices so that we can always be moving in this direction.

Dane: 15:01

And we do that. And when you do that for like a quarter, a year, a decade, You really start seeing exponential fruit from that effort. But what it feels like is I got to stand up again, standing again. Okay, here we go again. And getting comfortable with that reality is really core to anchoring ourselves into the benefits of what you can get.

Mitch: 15:27

Yeah, thanks for emphasizing and, uh, how all the anchors tie in because they do, uh, inform this and kind of animate us towards standing. Now, the, I think a lot of people could probably listen through this whole podcast. Um, they've read the books, they've bought the courses. Yet they're still, um, convinced that they don't quite have all the info that they need.

Mitch: 15:53

They don't have what it takes to stand now, even to get started. Um, maybe they're, they're future tripping in one way of like, oh, it's going to be glorious. I'm going to get there. Uh, or maybe they're future tripping in the other sense of like, that's so big, that's so far off. I'm not, I'm not. prepared. I got to do more reading.

Mitch: 16:11

I got to do more studying. I got to ramp up to this. Uh, what, what are some of those other misconceptions that, that we might have that prevent us from taking that immediate action from sitting in that pause, uh, too long?

Dane: 16:24

I love that you're, you're asking this question. And I'd go further than saying, calling it a misconception.

Dane: 16:30

I think it's not, it's not vivid enough of a description. It's a trap. It's a full on trap. You are, you're not just deceived, you're deceived and as a result of that deception, you are tricking yourself into Making it more difficult to take action. You're moving, you're, you're moving backward and you think that you're stalled and considering your options.

Dane: 16:59

That's the problem. That's the problem. And, and every second that you're not awake. And moving, going against the drift, going against anticipating the whirlwinds and getting ready for them, knowing that at every turn comfort is dangling in front of you and inviting you in, they are traps

Dane: 17:25

and all of my friends make me make fun of me for like, I'm like chicken little, there it is, there it is, sky's falling, but, uh, I'm not wrong on this one. Uh, this, this one is. It's backed up by thousands of years of practitioners understanding the reality of how this thing works. Who, how, how are humans, how are humans wired?

Dane: 17:48

How do we function and flourish in this world? Well, it's not from getting in the drift and taking the current wherever it goes. Nobody drifts their way to greatness. No one in history, even the most talented people who show up on the scene with no discipline and just are so gifted, give them a minute and they'll destroy their life.

Dane: 18:13

They will. And we've seen it happen over and over and over again. Why we would be surprised is beyond me. But the trick I think is to narrow it down to regardless of what we see out there. It's like, let's get real with what's in here. This, the great line that's been popularized by Seth Godin, this idea of, um, let's get real or let's not play, uh, let's get real.

Dane: 18:36

For a second, um, if you are thinking you want this, you have none, you've done nothing to get it. Until you stand now, you are drifting away from the very thing that you say you want. And the moment! You stand now, you're taking a step in the direction that you are becoming that kind of person that gets that thing.

Dane: 19:00

And, and this is, this is the, uh, the, the grand deception is to think that we, we can think about it and somehow not drift while we're thinking. So, I don't want to discourage anybody in that. I, I think it's, it's actually great news. Uh, if you know what you need to go do, stop thinking about it, do it. Like, put yourself on the hook.

Dane: 19:26

In our world, just stop thinking about applying to MWOD and apply. Get in the game. And, and if you're, you're thinking like, no, I'm injured. No, I'm sick. No, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming and I need to have cocktails along the way. Or, no, I need creamer in my coffee every single day or whatever. It's like, just know you're in, you are actively participating in a deception in your mind that's taking you away from the thing that you think you want.

Dane: 19:55

And if you've been listening to the podcast. This long, friends, there's something in what we're talking about that you want, and I'd encourage you to go take it. Stand now. Go get the thing that you say you want, and stop hesitating. And, and, and we will keep saying to you, it's probably not for you, because until you do the thing, we don't believe you.

Dane: 20:18

Just because you're a subscriber or a listener or whatever, none of us here at MWOD believe you are actually interested in this thing until you actually take action in the thing. That's when we know, based off of results, that this is what you're up for, that this is for you. And we want that for you. We do.

Dane: 20:37

But we also recognize if you have another way to go get it, go get it. That's fine. This is just how we do it. And we would just love the company if you want to join us along for the ride. But we're clear in our community, standing now. Is a non negotiable standing now is what it proves that I am the person that I say I want to be.

Mitch: 21:02

Yeah, I have a tendency towards overcomplicating things. You know, this about me, I can, it's a, it's a gift and a curse to see the nuance and things, but also can get all stuck in that. But I do love the simplicity of this and the recognition that all we have is now. Like, like you said, there is no, like the idea of pause is kind of a myth.

Mitch: 21:26

Like there is no pause. You're moving. It's just what direction are you moving? Whether it's that's exactly that destination or that destination or forward or back, however you want to think about it. Um, but I do think there are, there are practical things that we can do in the moment. And again, not to overcomplicate it.

Mitch: 21:42

Um, but like, how can we begin to craft a practice that That is biased towards action. It's biased towards the standing. Um, in the moment, you, you talked about kind of the, the 2 aspects of it. Like, the, the 1st step is waking up, like, being aware of this thing. And then, like, how do we start moving towards the strength?

Dane: 22:03

Well, the oft talk about. Strategy to win family feud is really resourceful here. Um, so if you want to win family feud, there's only one way to win the game. If you don't know the game show, you should look it up, but there's only one way to win that game. You hit the button before you know the answer. Uh, and, um, this is, uh, not unlike how we record this podcast.

Dane: 22:29

So for those of you who don't know, before we hit record, we talked about what we're going to talk about. And then We hit record. And often, like today, Mitch's job was to open the show, and Mitch wasn't totally sure what he was going to say, so we just hit record. And guess what? Mitch figured out what to say when the recording started.

Dane: 22:51

Happens over and over and over. So, so, I don't want to sound like a jerk when I say this, but the question, how do you get started? Well, how about Get started. Like, move. Take action. Say yes. Put yourself on the hook. And I'm even okay, put yourself on the hook and quit. Quit later. But you've already quit if you didn't put yourself on the hook.

Dane: 23:15

If you're not moving in that direction. Like, even people who are like, oh, I can't run a marathon because I'm gonna fail. I'm like, well, then fail. Which mile do you plan on failing at? Mile 1? Mile 10? Mile 22? Like, I don't, fail. Learn from it. Come back at it again. Even people who can imagine going out with creamer, going out, going without creamer in their coffee or getting in a cold shower or whatever.

Dane: 23:41

Well, and you're, you're sure that's where you're going to quit. Well, prove it. Get in that cold shower and then get out real quick and tell me that you quit because of it. That's fine. I don't care. Um, drink that, that awful, plain old coffee and spit it out going, I will never drink coffee without creamer again.

Dane: 24:00

It's like, well, then maybe don't drink coffee again. If it, if like, it's so obvious, right? When we pause and consider it for even a second, action means action. Now means now, stand now.

Mitch: 24:16

I see. I knew you would bring that kind of clarity to this conversation. I was just playing a role, you know, just playing the role of this person that over complicates things.

Mitch: 24:25

That's not really me.

Dane: 24:27

Well, how does this tangibly, like how does this play out for you, Mitch? Like when you think about your own experience with this?

Mitch: 24:34

Um, well, I see myself using that, that, that deception, that strategy all the time. We talked about this a little bit in our decision making episode, but you're like, when I.

Mitch: 24:44

It's helpful to know and name that because when I'm sitting there deciding what, what workout I'm going to do or what, you know, lat exercise I'm going to do on my app. Like that's all that kind of like, I don't really want to do this thing. I don't want to actually take action, but it feels productive to be doing these things.

Mitch: 25:04

Um, so it's, it's one, it's helpful to, to recognize and name these things cause you realize, Oh, I'm, I'm moving in a direction and it's not in the direction of action and actual growth. The, the second thing

Dane: 25:17

that, well, before you go to the second thing, let's name a couple things in everyone's day that connect to this.

Dane: 25:23

So you wake up, you're laying in bed, literally stand now, just get on your feet. Okay. So what's the next thing you're going to choose that, you know, you're going to be glad you chose for me, it's a cold shower and I can put a lot of things in front of that moment if I want to, cause I don't like cold showers, but my job is to stand under the nozzle and turn the thing.

Dane: 25:46

That's there's no other job to do. Maybe floss my teeth, go to the bathroom. And if that's a higher priority for me, but my job is to get to that place, um, take, and even if I am flossing my teeth, I'm, that's, that's a different, I'm standing now in that context. See, so, so as you think through the entirety of your day doing the hard project, putting off distractions like social media or whatever is your thing of choice, doing, getting, digging into the deep work of a project that you know is going to take multiple days and processes of feeling uncomfortable as Wade into the deeper waters, having that conversation with a colleague or a boss or someone that's working for you, that's going to be uncomfortable, get into it, press play, hit the button, get into it, and I think you're going to be smart.

Dane: 26:35

Now, is nothing wrong with standing now in grounding and getting clear, but what you want to do in these contexts, you don't have to be premature about it beyond an unambiguously clear that you're moving in the direction of. The thing that if you're in motion in this present moment, you're standing now, just make sure you're standing now in the direction that matters, but that I cut you off.

Dane: 26:59

I just want to make sure people have really clear visions of what we're talking about.

Mitch: 27:02

No, and that's great. I think that's super important. And kind of going back to correct course, like, you can't steer a boat. That's not moving. You can't if you ever tried to steer a bike without moving, like, you're not going to turn in any direction.

Mitch: 27:17

You're Stagnant. So I think that is pushing a rope. Totally. Yeah. Have a, yeah. Pushing a rope. Exactly. Have a bias towards, towards action and then figure out course. Correct. Along the way. Um, the, the other thing that I, I, I was getting into and a strategy that sometimes I use, like I mentioned before, is noticing like, I don't have.

Mitch: 27:38

I'm not equipped. I need a little bit more information. And one thing that, um, you know, we talk a lot about in, in the community and what you have shared, uh, lots of times is, you know, like, what's the next right action or, or if you're not sure what the right decision is, like, what would, Your future self do in this moment or, or that ideal self.

Mitch: 27:59

And that it sounds so simple, just like the act of stepping outside and like kind of coaching yourself from an outside perspective, that little mental model can be so resourceful to help kind of get all the clutter out of the way. Simplify and paint a picture of actual like reality as it is versus this crazy web of excuses that you've you've made in your mind.

Mitch: 28:24

So that's what I was, that's what I was getting at when you, uh, when you talked about naming those things. Yeah. Is there, is there anything for you that comes to mind, um, in this category?

Dane: 28:35

Well, I think probably the last thing I'll just point to is, When it comes to standing now, I think that there is some degree of, like, a cognitive load that people have on, like, standing now, where, which one, which, what things should I pick first?

Dane: 28:46

Um, and this is where I do think that there's probably some resource in standing now in even moving a pencil on a piece of paper, reflecting around and reflecting around. How you want to order your days. How do you want to start your day? How do you want to sustain your day and not how you want isn't quite right your preference matters very little How would your future self have wanted you to have started your day?

Dane: 29:12

How would your future self would have wanted you to sustain your day and to set up the next day by ending your day? Well so that you can do it again. These are these kind of fundamental Building blocks of getting of being in the right thing for the right moment Um I, I, I'm a friend of mine put me onto a podcast that I listened to periodically.

Dane: 29:34

Um, I think it's called the right thing now, the right next thing, maybe the right next thing. And I, I love that phrase, uh, cause you want to be attending to the right next thing. But here's what I'll say is even if you're not sure, attend to the thing that occurs to you to be relevant right now. And if you realize that's the wrong thing, stop and stand now in a different direction.

Dane: 29:56

Um, but not being in motion. Is, is problematic. Going back to what we said at the beginning of this, the reason we have a practice is to do two pieces. One is to wake us up, one is to get stronger. Well, usually the uncomfortable thing is what wakes us up. As we get, and we lean into and hug, kind of embrace this, the thing that, the exact same thing that we're after gets us stronger.

Dane: 30:24

And that's, that's applied over the course of a 24 hour window, window for a particular result. And that result is becoming who you were made to become. So Will you get it right out of the gate? Of course not. Of course not. Uh, you're gonna, whatever practice you come up with this year in five years from now, you'll look back and go Well, that was kind of funny But you wouldn't get to the five year mark if you didn't do the practice that seems evident to you today So do that thing Stand out and leverage all the anchors and, and my hope is that as we've kind of approached this from a number of different angles over the course of this season's episodes, that it's landing for people as a really hopeful approach that you can, you can really adjust your perspective.

Dane: 31:16

You have agency over yourself where you can adjust your perspective and have that perspective. Actually cause motion, get you in the game, not watching from the sidelines. I love the way, you know, Brene Brown and before her, um, Teddy Roosevelt would talk about like in the arena, like get in the game, stop thinking about getting in the game.

Dane: 31:38

Get in the game. And I think on some level, stand now is emblematic of that, that idea.

Mitch: 31:44

As we consider stand now, one of the ways to stand now and, and stop thinking, well, what shoes should I wear? One of the things that could be resourceful is getting a guide, getting someone that can kind of uncomplicated this thing for you to, to kind of show you this path. And I think that's a big part of what we do at MWOD and a big part of that future round is saying, you don't have to think about it. Here's the things that you can do to stand now.

Mitch: 32:10

Um, and of course, As people do subsequent rounds, you know, they kind of reassess after that quarter of committing to that. Okay, what's, what's moving me in the right direction? What isn't? How can I adjust this and then commit to that for the next quarter? Um, so I do think there's a lot of resource in going back to kind of choose your role, getting a guide, uh, to kind of help, uh, get you in this, uh, movement, uh, forward.

Dane: 32:36

Yeah, the, the two biggest reasons why people do MWOD is one, they don't have to do it alone. Community is powerful. And then two, especially your first round, the reduction of cognitive load. How many people lament with this notion of like, if someone would just tell me what to do, I'd do it. Well, I'm calling your bluff because if you've ever heard or heard yourself say that we are telling you right now.

Dane: 33:05

One choice to participate, all of your choices made. We will tell you everything you need to do, and it's comprehensive. And right now, even as I say those words, some of you guys are like, what? What do you mean? And I mean what I said. What you eat, when you eat, what you drink, what you don't drink, when that happens, how long you sleep, when you exercise, for how long, what you're doing, anonymous good deeds, how long you're gunna cold shower, um, conversations you're going to have with people that are different than you, um, uh, meditation, reading. I mean, we will cover the basis and there's hundreds of people who have gone before you who have gotten through it and somehow survived and actually gotten through it. Strong and awake for love's sake.

Dane: 33:52

So if that's what you want, strong and awake for love's sake, we will remove all the cognitive load and do it together. And all you get to do is say yes. And as you wave the white flag of surrender and set down your preferences, because committing to something and then when you don't want to do it and doing it anyways is hard.

Dane: 34:09

But having community around you is very helpful. You'll get after it. You will see it. We're seeing it right now. Week 12, we're seeing people finishing their FUTURE round. And they, they cannot believe who they have become in 12 weeks, how much weight they've lost, how much stronger they've become physically, emotionally, the conversations they've been courageous to have with people that they've been scared to have conversations with the way their marriages improve their doctor visits.

Dane: 34:32

When the doctors are like, whatever you're doing, do more of that because you're adding years to your life. It's unmistakable, like we can. So one thing I can actually say with real guarantee, you see this through your life will be transformed now, not forever. It'll be transformed until the day you quit.

Dane: 34:52

But if you keep standing now in this effort, we are confident you will continue to get stronger and more awake for love's sake. And that's pretty exciting. Um, so yes, uh, especially in your future round. That notion of not having to decide and doing it together with others will be a profound difference maker for a lot of folks who are hearing, feeling like they want to barf at the idea, but know that now is for them.

Dane: 35:21

Now is the chance for you to stand now and go apply, get after it.

Mitch: 35:27

And, uh, just to clarify, their life will be transformed until they quit standing now, not quit MWOD because there's a lot of resource in standing, uh, even outside of this particular community.

Dane: 35:39

But that's exactly right.

Mitch: 35:40

But if you're, if you're, like you said, if you hear yourself or you feel when Dane said, I'm calling your bluff, if you felt that little like twinge of, uh, then that's probably a good sign that, uh, This might be worth checking out.

Mitch: 35:52

So to find out more, just go to mwod. io forward slash apply. And our next round, by the time this episode comes out, our next round will be underway. Um, but you can always sign up. We've got a number of resources and things that you can start doing start standing, uh, before the next round starts. Um, but I encourage you just take that, take that first step and, uh, and see what happens and see what happens.

Mitch: 36:15

We've got one more bonus episode. For this, for this series. Yes. Um, and I, I didn't, I didn't know if you wanted to tease it or set it up or if we just wanted to leave it at that.

Dane: 36:27

No, I'm,

Dane: 36:27

I cannot wait. Yeah. It's pretty straightforward. I learned this from my mentor, Dan Tocchini, uh, six little words that will change your life forever.

Dane: 36:36

That's what we'll cover next episode. Six words.

Mitch: 36:41

We'll see you there.

Dane: 36:42

All right. Thanks Mitch.

Mitch: 36:44

Thanks.

Dane: 36:45

Men & Women Of Discomfort is our membership community and we are open to everyone but keep in mind our tagline is it's probably not for you if we're wrong about that or if you want to find out for yourself you can find us at mwod.io. The information and material that we're sharing both of this podcast or anything connected to men or women of discomfort or flying s incorporated it's all for general information purposes only. You should not rely on this material or information on this podcast as a basis for making any kind of decision.

Dane: 37:09

We do our best to keep everything up to date and correct, and we do a lot of due diligence, but the responsibility is on you to make sure that you're in sync with your own medical professionals that you wouldn't see what we're offering here as somehow a warranty or representation in any kind expressed or implied about this being complete, accurate, reliable, suitable, or comprehensive in any kind of way.

Dane: 37:23

It's critical you own your agency, which is at the heart of everything we do at Men & Women Of Discomfort, we invite you to take the input that we're offering and consider it for yourself. And if it's helpful, please do take advantage of it. But if you do, it's you who is taking the opportunity and we're assuming that you've done your due diligence with it.

Dane: 37:35

Thanks.