Synopsis

What does it really take to care for a parent with Alzheimer’s while holding down a full-time job?

In this episode of Do I Sound Like I Care?, Louise speaks with Sam, an unpaid family carer whose mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s over a decade ago. Sam shares her experience of navigating diagnosis, inadequate follow-up care, managing finances, surveillance for safety, and the harsh realities of council-provided care.

She also explains how she has managed to stay in work through routine, honesty, and a supportive employer, and why work can sometimes feel like respite rather than pressure.

This is a candid conversation about exhaustion, isolation, dignity, humour, and survival, and why carers need better systems, understanding, and support.

This episode was filmed while being followed by BBC Morning Live, highlighting the growing national conversation around unpaid carers.

If you are caring for someone with dementia, or supporting someone who is, this episode is for you.

00:00 Introduction and BBC filming context

01:00 How Louise and Sam met through their mums

02:20 The importance of day centres and carer support groups

03:15 Recognising early signs of Alzheimer’s

04:40 Diagnosis and being discharged with no follow-up

06:00 Losing independence with money and food

07:10 Using home cameras to keep mum safe

08:00 COVID and moving mum in full-time

09:20 Council care experiences and systemic failures

11:20 Being charged for care that didn’t happen

13:00 The breaking point and ending council care

14:00 Switching to private care and why it changed everything

16:00 Role reversal and increasing dementia progression

18:40 Staying in work while caring full-time

21:00 Why work can feel like respite

22:20 Supportive managers and carer passports

24:00 The stigma of being a carer at work

26:00 Why caring is not the same as parenting

28:00 Wandering, safety, and public misunderstanding

31:00 Finding other carers and shared understanding

33:00 Isolation, loss of identity, and loneliness

35:00 Small moments of joy and reclaiming self

36:00 Facing the future one day at a time

37:00 Closing reflections and thanks