Are your symptoms being missed… or misunderstood?

In this bonus episode of The Iconic Midlife, I’m joined again by Dr. Eboni Cornish for a rapid-fire game we’re calling “Missed or Misunderstood?”

I throw out real symptoms and scenarios that so many women experience in midlife—and she breaks down what might actually be going on beneath the surface.

From brain fog and fatigue to anxiety, hormone shifts, and everything in between, this is a fast, eye-opening look at why so many women are told they’re “fine”… when they don’t feel it.

It’s quick. It’s sharp. And it might change the way you think about your own symptoms.

If you haven’t listened to the full episode yet, start there first—then come back to this one. Together, they connect the dots.

WHAT WE COVER

• Symptoms that are often missed vs misunderstood
• Why “normal” labs don’t always tell the full story
• The overlap between hormones, inflammation, and immune function
• Brain fog, fatigue, and anxiety—what might actually be driving them
• How women’s symptoms are often dismissed or oversimplified
• The importance of asking better, more specific questions

KEY TAKEAWAY

Not everything is as simple as it’s made to seem—and not everything that’s missed is harmless.

LISTEN, FOLLOW & SHARE

If this episode made you think differently, share it with a friend who’s been told “you’re fine” but knows something isn’t right.

Follow the show so you don’t miss future episodes—and if you haven’t yet, go back and listen to the full conversation with Dr. Eboni Cornish.

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Social media: @theiconicmidlife (show) | @redcarpetroxy (host)

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A woman who's told your labs are normal but feels worse every month, they're.

Not gonna listen to that patient say they're getting worse. They're gonna think it's all in their head. They're gonna probably gaslight them out the office because everything looks good.

Women being labeled as difficult patients, when they keep asking questions and things like.

That, you still wanna at least educate your doctor but not treat yourself.

It's a beautiful thing when you're advocating for yourself, but I think it's even better when you find someone that you can trust that's on the front lines, not just someone you read, someone you can see that's on the front lines doing this type of work on a daily basis to get those answers you need.

Keep asking questions, right? Advocating for yourself and ask questions always. We're going to play a game called missed or misunderstood.

I think like the women listening are going to really feel this one in their bones because I'm going to give you symptoms or situations and you tell me, is the medical system missing this entirely or misunderstanding and why? First one, chronic fatigue in a 45 year old woman.

Missed or misunderstood Is misunderstood, definitely anxiety.

That suddenly appears in midlife with no prior history. Missed or misunderstood?

Completely misunderstood.

Is that something you see regularly?

Every day. I just saw it before I got on this podcast. You know, I live through that.

Perimenopause anxiety patients come and complain about it a lot and then they end up on SSRIs and other medications and they don't get better.

You know, it's definitely that neurotransmitters are impacted by our hormone, that production of serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, by our hormone stabilization. So all day, all day, every day, I'll see that. And that's why so many women get on these meds right when they don't need it.

Brain fog that gets blamed on perimenopause. Missed or misunderstood.

Missed. Miss. No one's thinking about that. No one's thinking of brain fog and hormones, really, you know, standard medicine. So it's missed so many times.

A woman who's told your labs are normal but feels worse every month. Missed or misunderstood.

Missed because they're not going to listen to that patient say they're getting worse. They're going to think it's all in their head. They're going to probably gaslight them out the office because everything looks good.

Good point. Joint pain that comes and goes and gets labeled as aging.

Oh, definitely misunderstood. You know, cause that joint pain. Hey, could be tick borne diseases.

Lyme disease can be autoimmune disease and I just think they just miss it all the time.

A woman being prescribed antidepressants when she says I don't feel like myself.

Misunderstood, misunderstood. It's so easy. That's the easy way out. That's the fast 15 minute doctor visit. Easy resolution to someone with complex chronic symptoms.

That's a good point. I feel like women in midlife there must be like an increase in being prescribed like SSRIs and everything.

Oh, definitely, definitely. Because as our hormones change, like I said, our neurotransmitters levels are impacted as well. So we will have a higher risk of those mood changes.

But, but it's because it's simultaneously occurring with hormonal changes.

Lyme disease being thought of as rare or region specific.

Misunderstood of course, because Lyme disease is everywhere. You know, it's all, it's international. That's why my association is International Lyme and associated Diseases Society.

It's inner city, it's, you know, rural areas, it's urban environments. It does not discriminate. It affects all different backgrounds, ages, mothers, perimenopausal, postmenopausal.

It also can flare up after you get stress. So I have people who might go through puberty, they may have had Lyme as a kid and then their symptoms worsen.

They're having more neurological changes, joint pain, aches, fatigue. When, when they hit 13, 14, when you hit your menstrual cycle.

Women can have worsening symptoms of that we are mentioning because their hormones are changing postmenopausal. You know, so it does fluctuate.

You have that death in the family, you get another infection and all of a sudden you're having these symptoms that you didn't have before. That's because Lyme disease has a waxing waning course and but it's. I can't stress that enough to your audience. It's all over.

It's misdiagnosed and it's. People are dying because of it.

Oh, so scary. Oh, this one's a favorite. Women being told it's just stress missed or misunderstood.

Oh, it's misunderstood. I mean, yes, we are beautiful creatures and we are going to have stress, right? But that's like someone saying it's all in your head.

Something may be going on in your brain. You know, there might be an inflammatory process happening in your head itself, but it's just not all in one area.

So yeah, that's so sad and misunderstood. And I used to say that Full disclosure. Before I learned functional medicine and I was primary care, that would be my. My end all, be all.

That was my get you out the office fast. Wow.

So what was the thing that really shifted for you that made you want to find answers? Like, really set you on that journey to be curious?

I wish I had a great story for that. It was really boredom, you know, I was looking on Craigslist for a couch. Okay. And I saw they had the classified section.

And I was like, let me look there. And the job said for doctors who think outside of the box. And I was like, I'm out the box. This is kind of cool.

And it was a Lyme practice, and like I said before, I had never heard of Lyme disease. I never heard of functional medicine, But I just jumped in, you know, and it was kind of right.

Soon after residency, I'd only been working in standard family practice for a short period anyway, and it was no turning back. So as I learned, I started reflecting on my own life about all those times I've seen this situation. Like, even Lyme disease patients.

When I was in residency, I had a provider tell me, oh, that person's drug seeking, because it was a landscaper who kept coming back after getting one dose of Doxycare cycling and still didn't feel well. They're like, don't give them any more antibiotics. That was probably my first chronic Lyme patient, but I didn't think anything about it.

So when I jumped into this field, God just. It was God, he led me there, because then I started seeing so many struggling people that were suffering for so long, and it was no turning back.

And, you know, that's. That's really my story. I didn't have, like, a revelation one day that, oh, I definitely want to go. I was bored.

And I knew there was something greater that I was to give to this world versus just prescription medications, you know,.

And so glad you did, because no doubt you've helped so many people. So grateful for that. But I want to close with our final, final cue. And this one really gets under the skin of a lot of people. So, uh.

Oh, yeah, right.

Women being labeled as difficult patients when they keep asking, you know, questions and things like that. Missed or misunderstood.

That's definitely misunderstood a lot. You know, and especially I always tease patients. Right. It's a difference between asking questions or being Dr. ChatGPT or Google.

Okay, we want everyone to advocate for themselves, but you still want to at least educate your doctor but not treat yourself. Right.

But I think it's a beautiful thing when you're advocating for yourself, but I think it's even better when you find someone that you can trust that's on the front lines, not just someone you read, someone you can see that's on the front lines, doing this type of work on a daily basis to get those answers you need. But I do encourage you to advocate for yourself, but I don't encourage you to use these AI tools as your provider.

Yes. Keep asking questions. Go see your doctor. Talk to your doctor. You know, get all your good information. Always go see your doctor.

But keep asking questions.

Right.

Advocating for yourself. And ask questions.

Always, Always.