On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I talk about what it really means to “worry a little bit” - especially about the people in your life who always look like they’ve got their shit together.

I tell a personal story about being considered the “strong one” and why those folks often don’t get checked on.

I also share why asking a simple, “Hey, how are YOU doing?” - can actually mean the world.

This is a little loving nudge from my heart to yours to reach out, be curious, and check on your strong people…

Because even the helpers - need a little help sometimes.

KAREN KENNEY BIO:

Karen Kenney is a writer, speaker, podcaster, certified spiritual mentor, and coach.

She’s known for her dynamic storytelling, her sense of humor, her Boston accent, and her no-bullshit approach to spirituality, self​-development, and transformational change work.

Karen helps people to navigate this whole “being human” experience using a variety of practical tools, personal stories, and universal principles.

She's been a yoga teacher for 25+ years, has been a Thai Yoga Massage practitioner since 2008.

She's also a Gateless Writing Instructor, the creator of WRITE CLUB , and the host of The Karen Kenney Show podcast.

She coaches clients individually in her 1-to-1 program: THE QUEST and in her HEART-TO-HEART DAYS using Voxer. She also leads a group program and community called THE NEST.

CONNECT WITH KAREN:

Website: http://karenkenney.com/

Podcast: https://www.karenkenney.com/podcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karenkenneylive/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karenkenneylive/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@KarenKenney

It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey, you guys,

welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I'm wicked excited to be

here with you today, and this sucker is going to be like super

duper duper super duper duper short, but on purpose, because

there's really only one thing that I really want to talk about

and mention, and I don't want to ramble and be redundant, and

this is something that I have no doubt I have mentioned on my

podcast before, and it's kind of inspired by a couple of

different conversations, one was a conversation from many years

ago that I had with my stepfather, and one others along

the way, you know with girlfriends of mine, friends of

mine who are incredibly strong women, but also a conversation

that I recently had with somebody who had a recent loss

and a tragic loss, and is really like in it, right, and is in

their grief and is struggling, like you know, which is totally

normal and human after somebody you love dies, and here's the,

here's the thing that I want to say. So, you probably already

saw the title of this, it's called Worry a Little, like,

worry a little bit, you know what I'm saying, and what I mean

by that is this: when you tend to be the kind of person that

you know handles their business, get shit done, like from the

outside in, like from the world looking at you, it always seems

like you quote unquote have your shit together. You don't reach

out for a lot of help, like I said, like you handle your

business, you get shit done, etc. But those are the people,

those are the people in your life that I really want to keep

reminding you and encouraging you to reach out to, so I

remember having a conversation with my stepfather. I'm not

going to go into it too much. You can read about it in the

memoir, probably when it comes out, but I remember he, you

know, my sister and I having a conversation with him about how

he never called us, or he didn't reach out, or he didn't check in

on us, or whatever, which is attached to a much bigger,

longer story and problem, but to keep it concise, and I said to

him, I asked some sort of a question, like, why don't you

call, or why don't you like check in, and he said, because I

don't worry about things that are going well, and my point was

kind of like, well, how do you know they're going well if

you're not checking in? And his attitude was, well, if things

were going bad, I'm sure I would have heard about it. And then he

looked at me and he said, you know, I don't worry about you.

He's like, I don't worry about you. And in my head I had this

thought, I didn't say the words out loud, but I had the thought,

and I carried that thought with me for a while, and then I

remember talking to another friend who also reiterated that

same sentiment to me. They looked at me, and they were kind

of like, "Ah, you got this, I don't worry about you, and I

looked at them, and I finally said the words that I had

thought that day with my stepfather, and I said, "Maybe

you should worry a little bit. I remember them looking at me

like, "What do you mean? And I said, "Like, I understand right

through all the coaching and mentoring I've done over the

years. Worrying never changes the outcome, right? If you have

a problem or something that's causing you stress or anxiety or

whatever, sitting around worrying about it doesn't change

Jack shit, but what I mean in this instance, I'm being a

little cheeky, right? I'm being a little fresh when I say this.

When I say worry a little bit, like maybe you should just worry

a little bit. What I'm really saying is, like, hey, check in

on the people that always seem like, you know, they got their

shit together, that they can handle their business, that they

don't reach out and ask for help a lot of times, even if you ask

them, is there anything you need? Is there anything I can

do? How you doing?

We'll probably say I'm doing great, I'm doing fine, I'm all

set. No, thank you, whatever. But I can't tell you how much it

means to us and those people like us when you do check in,

because it's telling us that you think about us, that you care

about us, that you're curious enough that you wonder, right?

Because a lot of times, also, when you're the person who is

seen as the strong one, right, the one that's always taking

care of things, handling things, getting shit done, doing things

for other people, the one that everybody comes to for advice or

information or money, or whatever the situation might be,

right? Nobody really comes to me for money because I don't have

any, but it's not true, you know, but you don't say, but

here's the thing, it's like a lot of times when you're

carrying that yourself and you're always handling things,

people don't even think to ask you, because when they're coming

to you, it's almost always about them. They've got something that

they need, they have a situation that they need support or

advice, or a shoulder to cry on, or somebody to hold their hand,

or prop them up, or build them up, and sometimes we can get

lost, right. Right, I'm not saying, look, I never asked her.

I've gotten a lot better. I've gotten a lot better at receiving

help, asking for help, etc. But I do think that I have been one

of those people that a lot of people don't worry about from

the time that I was young, because I was a tough, quote

unquote, tough kid, you know? I was a tough kid, but you guys

listen, those are the people that you might want to worry

about a little bit, and check on them a little bit, even if they

turn down your offer, even if they say no. I'll tell you, as

being one of those kinds of people, it means so much to us

when people just, even momentarily, like it's

interesting, like in my yoga class, like every week on

Tuesday nights, I've been teaching this yoga class

forever. Some of my students have been with me for over 20

years, and I always start the class, and I say, How you guys

doing? How's everybody doing? How can I be helpful? Like, what

do you need? You know, I serve at your pleasure, you know. And

every once in a while, somebody will go, and how are you doing?

Like, all you know, and I'm like, because when you're in the

role of the teacher, the mentor, the coach, the leader, the boss,

whatever you're almost always the one who is initiating the

connection, the conversation, right, whatever the

communication, and every once in a while it occurs to somebody

else to ask you, and it's a really sweet thing, and it's a

really nice thing, and double A men hands, if you are kind of

the quote unquote strong one, the plan of the doer, the fixer,

whatever, in your family or in your friend group, just raise

your hands, because you know what I'm talking about, you know

exactly what I'm talking about, and I can think of a lot of my

female friends who are the ones that get done in their family,

in their business, in their friend groups, in organizing

shit, you know, planning things, whatever, and women often play

that role. I'm not saying that men sometimes also, or men often

times don't also play this role, just depends on the dynamics.

But you guys, just a little love letter from my hat to yours, and

if you are the one that that rarely gets asked. I'm here

asking you right now, like, how you doing? You doing okay? You

hanging in there? Do you need anything? Just know that I see

you, and I get it, and I support you. And for those people who

maybe you know, you can think of at least one person in your

life, in your family, in your friend group, whatever, at work,

that is the one that handles shit and get it done, you know.

Just worry about them a teeny tiny bit, just a little bit. Be

curious enough to ask, care enough to ask, because I can

tell you that it makes a world of difference. Okay, that's all

I wanted to say.

Little, little PSA, little public service announcement. I

hope you're doing fantastic out there. I know the world

continues to be insane, and kind of a shit show, and 1000 things

that could freak us out. And just know that I'm here each

week, and I'm thinking of you, and I'm blasting you with love,

and I'm sending so much, so much wishes for you of health and

success and support and community and comfort and

strength, because we all kind of need each other right now. We

all need to lean on each other right now, and so now more than

ever, too, there's an extra burden on the people who tend to

hold it together and keep it together and get done. So check

on your people, check on your people. Okay, you guys, I love

you wherever you go, may you leave yourself and the animals

and the other people and the environment and the planet

better than how you found it. Wherever you go, may you and

your love, your presence, your energy, and your thoughtfulness,

right, your thoughtfulness to ask, may it be a blessing. Bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to the show. I really

love spending some time together. Now, if you dig the

show or know someone that could benefit from this episode,

please share it with them and help me to spread the good word

and the love. And if you want to be in the know about all of my

upcoming shenanigans, head on over to Karen kenney.com/sign up

and join my list, it'll be wicked fun to stay in touch.

Bye.