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Episode Summary: 

In this episode, Ian Hawkins explores the common experience of high performers feeling like failures, despite their successes. He discusses the impact of setting unrealistically high expectations and how it can lead to a cycle of self-criticism. 

Ian shares practical strategies to help break this cycle, including the importance of recognizing and celebrating progress. By shifting focus from perceived shortcomings to acknowledging achievements, listeners can build momentum and find greater consistency in their success. 

Tune in for insights on how to overcome the curse of perfectionism and start feeling better about where you’re at and where you’re headed. 

About the Host:  

Ian Hawkins, host of "Sport Is Life," is dedicated to showing how sports can transform lives. With extensive experience as an athlete, a coach, PE teacher, community volunteer, and manager at Fox Sports, Ian brings a wealth of knowledge to the podcast. His journey began in his backyard, mentored by his older brother, and has since evolved into coaching elite athletes and business leaders. Ian's commitment to sports and personal development is evident in his roles as a performance coach and active community member. Through "Sport Is Life," Ian shares inspiring stories and valuable lessons to help listeners apply sports principles to all areas of life.  

Check Me Out On:  

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ianhawkinscoaching     

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ianhawkinscoaching  

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@SportIsLife-IanHawkins   

Theme Music Artist: 

One Day Kings  https://www.instagram.com/onedaykings/ 

See https://www.captivate.fm/privacy-policy-for-listeners for privacy information. 

Are there times where despite your

success, you still feel like a failure?

Despite your progress, you still look at

how you could have done better and maybe

you start that negative self talk about

what you're not doing. Today I'm going to

tell you about why that is and how

to make the changes, the key steps you

can take to be able to make the changes

to move. Past this curse

of the high performer and onto a more

consistent and enjoyable level

of success.

I'm Ian Hawkins and this is Sporty's

life. The purpose of sport, as I

see it, is to see your vision become a

reality, find your voice, create

strong connections and learn to trust

your body.

You set such high expectations for

yourself. Even in areas that you have no

right to, areas where you don't have the

knowledge, you haven't done the training,

you haven't done the hours, and yet

you have this expectation that you're

going to do it really well. This is the

nature of being a high performer.

You continue to push yourself, you

continue to as well as you can, but

you're always stuck looking at the bits

that you didn't get quite right. Now, the

elements that could have been better are

the elements and the moments when

you know what you weren't given you 100%,

whenyou weren't given your absolute

best. The reality is, you

can't be at your optimum all the

time. You need to

make incremental increases. That's how

you get the best results.

But when you have that focus that you're

constantly setting these

expectations that are too high and

they're unfair and they're unrealistic at

times, you'll continue to get better, but

you'll continue to have that feeling of

I'm not good enough, I'm a failure, or

whatever the sort of pattern of

language you use that talks down

yourself. And it can feel like a

curse. You might not even actually

identify with the concept of high

performer, but I imagine that if

you're listening still, you are nodding

because you can definitely identify with

that pattern. Of always wanting

to be better, striving to be better, and

picking apart the bits that didn't quite

go well.

Most of the time you're having great

results 99% of the time, but you're

focusing on the one or two areas that you

didn't quite get right or that you know

could have been better.

Now part of it is as simple as

pausing to recognise what went well.

When I'm on group coaching course, that's

the first thing we start over with

everyone what's going well and it's a

loaded question and and sometimes.

Some of the people I'm coaching can find

it challenging to answer, but they always

find something and it always uplifts

them. And it's

interesting that often.

People do struggle for the what's

going well to come to their mind. If I

ask them what's going bad, they usually

think of that straight away and it's a

habit to get into of recognise what's good

, recognise what's going well. It builds

momentum and it reprograms your

subconscious mind to start seeking out

more of what's going well.

So record your wins. Pause to celebrate.

The celebrations don't have to be big,

but it's just long enough to acknowledge.

For the bigger winds. Pause

longer, celebrate longer.

And the celebrations can be varied. They

don't always have to be extravagant,

expensive.

Require anything more than just an

acknowledgement or

spending some time with important

people so they can acknowledge it with

you and celebrate with you. But it is

important. The little wins, the big wins,

everything in between. And keep a record

of it. This is your life, it's the most

important part of who you are,

so why wouldn't you want to take?Stock

Why wouldn't you want to dedicate

yourself to that, to the work

on you as much as you do to the work that

you do for other people, that you work,

you do for your career, job,

business, whatever it is. And then

interesting that we dedicate, we have

these foundational aspects that are just

so necessary for work, but we neglect

them in our private life, in our personal

life. Putting these things

in place will set you onto a

path of not only being a high

performance. But having

that consistency, because

you'll be recording it, you'll actually

be able to see it. You'll start feeling

better about it because you're writing it

down. Your subconscious mind will start

searching for more of it, and then you'll

achieve more of it and you'll start

getting that forward momentum. There's no

longer become a Kirk, no longer becomes a

curse. It actually becomes your secret

weapon that you keep pushing the

limits, but you're doing it in a way

that you're feeling.

But you'll still push yourself to improve

again. So I heard a, I can't

remember where it was. He's

going back 10 years and he was,

his answer was be happy with what you've

done, but never be satisfied. Always look

to push the boundaries. Now I think

personally it's a variation on that.

Have satisfaction, feel fulfilled for

what you've done and then

shoot for the next level again. And

then continue to look to have ways of

levelling up.

And then life's not going to

feel like you could have done better.

It's going to feel like, how good is it

that I've achieved this now, what's next?

What else can I do? There's a

great book, Umm.

I think it's called How far can you go?

John McLean, I think his name. Or is that

Bruce Willis is Gary Die Hard, Saffron

McLain. I'll have to look it up.

Becomes a paraplegic after an accident

and after a short while he

makes a little bit of progress and his

dad says to him, OK, that's great, now

how far can you go? And the

story is of just how far he pushed his

body.

And you did it the same way, but you can

do it too, which is incremental

improvements, having a vision

that he wanted to work towards and you

can have to do the same. He wanted to be

able to walk again. He wanted to be able

to push the limits of what was possible.

He was training for a triathlon and he

got injured, hit by a truck on his bike.

He. I'm just thinking I

should try and get him on on for an

interview. Yeah, hit

hit on his bike. He went through the

process of wheelchair, all those sorts of

things to do triathlons,

including the Iron Man in Hawaii as.

A wheelchair athlete, but then he started

because he wasn't full like he had some

minor movement

and then suddenly he starts learning all

these different ways that you can get

movement back into your body and there

are so many different ways to heal and.

Just the journey of of how he went and

ended up becoming with the help of some

custom made.

I can't even tell you exactly what they

were. I think they're like some sort of

trousers that were made that basically

supported his leg. So he's just still

using his own muscles, but it just helped

create some some

extra balance there so he was able to

compete as an able bodied triathlete.

Now that was because.

He got really excited and

celebrated each of the new layers, but

not satisfied with

where he was up to and where he could go.

So I'll have to dig that book out and

give you some more details about that.

And yeah, maybe I should reach out and

see if I can get him on the podcast as

well, because it is quite an incredible

story. So if

you experience that curse

or that challenge of.

Sometimes feeling like a failure or feel

like you're only hitting an average level

levels of inadequacy. Whatever it is,

take the time to pause

, recognise just how well you are doing,

do that regularly, celebrate

your wins and watch as you

improve. Have

more consistency and most importantly,

feel so much better about where you're at

and where you're heading.

You've taken the time to listen to this

whole episode. Now it's time to take

action. Commit to one thing you've

learned today and make it happen. And to

avoid any obstructions, join the Sporty's

Life movement by clicking on the link in

the show notes.