I just had my birthday and it really made me think about the past year. Last year, I hit a milestone birthday AND launched Momma Has Goals, which was super exciting because I was (and am!) really fired up about this community and navigating motherhood!

Today, I want to chat with you about setting goals and knowing your identity while navigating motherhood, as well as intentionally choosing the people you surround yourself with. There are tons of different ways to achieve your goals, but it's all about figuring out what works best for you. And when it comes to finding your tribe, that's what Momma Has Goals is all about! You have the freedom to seek out the people who will support you on your journey and to be super clear about why they're important to you.

What you'll hear in this episode:

[1:25] What it means to normalize having goals alongside motherhood.

[3:20] Momma Has Goals is not about me, it’s about you.

[5:15] The importance of coming back to you.

[7:30] You get to choose how you achieve your goal, but there isn’t only one way to achieve it.

[9:40] No one is going to give you the exact roadmap to your dreams.

[11:20] You are allowed to find your people and be really clear with who should be on your journey and why.

[12:50] We so often keep relationships in our lives because of how we were connected in the past, or because of an opportunity for success.

CONNECT WITH KELSEY

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Learn more at https://thisiskelseysmith.com/

Join our text list. Text "Goals" to (707) 347-0319

Kelsey Smith 0:00

We so often keep relationships in our lives because of maybe how we were connected in our past with that person. Or maybe we see an opportunity for success or maybe someone else likes that person, so you feel that you should too. I want to give you permission to not waste your time and energy on relationships that aren't meant for you. I want to give you permission to get really clear on who you need in your life and finding them. I want to give you permission to live full out for you for your values, and character and intentionality. To live the best version of your life. Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys. Why an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how

Kelsey Smith 1:25

came I'm so excited to be talking with you this week. I recently just celebrated my birthday. And last year was a milestone birthday for me. And when I sat with what I wanted to do for that it was have a launch event for my my house goals because that is what I was just so lit up about starting a new decade, still so lit up about in this decade. And what is so important to me in bringing like minded women together to really just see what it meant to normalize moms having goals to having an identity alongside motherhood to pursuing whatever it is that you have going on, whether it's being able to just get up today and change your clothes, shower, maybe it's make yourself a meal, go for a walk, maybe it's to lunch, that big business you've been thinking about or request or promotion, have a hard conversation. But to show up for the best version of you, alongside any other title that you carry, to show up as the best mom, the best partner, the best friend, whatever that means to you to be your best version of yourself in every area of your life, and find the people to help you get there. So when I brought this event together, just a year ago, we had so many amazing women speaking about their own experiences, their challenges, their triumphs, the things that they've overcome the things that they've celebrated the things that they've had mistakes around, and really allowing us to all just be real and talk about real life in a real way. And when I reflect on the last year, I'm so proud of the growth that we've had, I'm so excited for the movement for the people that we've connected with and the people that I've connected with the people that you've connected with in this community, it really is not something I take lightly to be the person kind of leading that, but I couldn't do it without you guys, because I couldn't do it without the support. And also, that's what this community is all about. So I just want to thank you for having our true full year from our launch and what that's looked like. And personally that last year, measuring a year from my birthday, has been a really transformational year for me too. You know, Mama has goals is not about me knowing how to do everything it's about. At the end of the day, I wanted my kids to be like, Yeah, mom had goals, she always wanted to be better. She always wanted to improve. And she wanted to also love the moment and be so present. And when I think about the way I've stepped into that this last year, I am proud but I haven't hit every goal. I haven't hit every milestone or achievement that I sought out to do and some of which I'm so grateful that didn't come to fruition because in the moment when I thought I wanted now that I'm here, I think about how I'm happy that things happen differently. And I think so often, they say, you know, it's so much easier to connect the dots backwards that that's the case and you may be in a season where you're not accomplishing a goal that you thought you were going to or things aren't working out quite the way that you had envisioned. And later down the road, you're gonna see why. But I also want you to really just sit in with yourself and trust yourself because something that I've really learned in the last year when I reflected on my birthday, and what the last year has meant for me. I you know, the last year was a lot of exploration, a lot of discovery, a lot of adventure, a lot of trying things on for size and figuring out and I'm so proud of that and I'm so So grateful for the opportunity to experience things the way I did. I'm so grateful that we made some big decisions and risks to go all in on just discovery and adventure and wondering what if, and I'm so grateful that I've been able to share that with you. But there is a part of coming back to you and coming back to knowing and sometimes we don't need to look outwards, we just need to look inwards. And this next season, what is really important to me is now that I have a little more clarity on what I want my vision to be what I want my strategy of life to be that I execute that in a way that feels good to me, even if it's not what I see other people doing. So when I think back to things that maybe I could have done a little bit better than last year, because I believe that it's important to evaluate things, whether it's your last week, or it's your last year or the last five years and think about, okay, Are there patterns that I maybe can do a better job at this next season? Are there things that I can do a little bit differently. And so for me, one of those things is allowing myself to trust the process and stay focused, it is so easy to get distracted and what other people are doing. And it's so easy to see an opportunity and think, Well, there's that version of success. But what if that version of success isn't what you want in the long term. And so what I mean by that is, there's opportunity everywhere, but you have to figure out what that opportunity means for you now and down the road. Because I could build mama house schools one way. And I'll give you an example. blowed up with a bunch of followers or a bunch of users aren't real people. There's people that do that. They're successful businesses that do that. And that's their strategy. That's their business model. And I just don't want mine built that way. And there's other things in my life where that's prevalent to where you can get connected with people, you can find resources, you can get what you need to take the steps forward. But if those steps aren't going to be the type of steps that you want, and it's not going to lead you to the path that feels best, even if on paper, the success is bullet pointed. Similarly, if it's not giving you the feeling that you sought after in the first place, then maybe you need to take a step back and think about the timeline and think about the approach. And what I mean by that is, you get to choose how you achieve your goal. But there isn't only one way to achieve that goal. And that's truly what mama has goals is about is finding the right resources, the right community and the right support for you and the life you want to live. And you may have to learn some hard lessons, you may have to reevaluate and you may change your mind, you probably will. But when you go to take action on your goal in this next season, whether it's at your next birthday, tomorrow, it's the new year, whenever you decide that you're ready to take some different action, I want you to be really clear with what action is for now, and what action is for later, and how they fit together. So when you make a decision, and you say, Okay, I'm going to do XYZ because it brings me x result. Is that result for now, is that result sustainable is that result what you want? What is the long term, noting that obviously life is fragile. We talk about this all the time. So you do have to make some decisions now. But when I reflect on the last year, and I reflect on why started mama has goals, it comes back to being really clear and like who I am, who the character of me as a founder as a community leader is what I'm going to stand behind is a product that I'm putting my name on, and why I'm doing it for the reasons that we all need the support and resources for that next level version of ourselves. And the choices that I make alongside mama house goals is about my long term vision for my life. So I can pour all in and do things in one way. And I may get the same result by doing it a different way. But the path may be a lot cleaner to me. Some people like a forest path. Some people like a beach path. Some people like an uphill, difficult path. Some people want to have just a nice stroll, even if it takes a little bit longer. And there isn't really any answer. And that's why I think it's important as you think about your goals is there's so many different pieces to the puzzle. And there's so many people that can help you along the way. But no one is going to give you the exact roadmap to your exact dreams to your exact way that you want to achieve life. Whether it's business, your family, for you, your health, for anything else, you are you so unique, and your map and your directions in your dream. It's so unique. So when you think about your next chapter, your next milestone, and you think about who's going to come with you think about pieces to the puzzle, but not full solutions be really clear and honest. I'm in a season where I'm just very clear and very communicative, with the people that I want on my journey with me. Not everyone is for you. I'm not for everyone. Not everyone is meant to be a part of everyone else's journey. And as someone that's extremely optimistic and prides myself on being like a true kind hearted person, that's hard for me, it's hard for me to not understand how we're all pieces to each other's puzzles. And it's hard for me to acknowledge that not everyone can learn something from someone else, per se, we probably can. Sometimes it's things about yourself that you don't like, sometimes it's things that you do or don't align with. So there is learnings. But not everyone has to be a part of your journey and your story. And as someone that wants everyone to love on each other and grow together, that's hard for me.

But you're allowed to find your people and be really clear with who should be on your journey and why. And for me, it's being really clear in the expectations I have of others of their character more than anything. There are so many things about you that I will love no matter what, as long as I know your intention is in the right place. Those are the people that I want in my world. Those are the people that I want in my life, we all make mistakes, we all have room for improvement. But if your intentionality and your character and your values are in a poor place, then you probably don't have a place in my journey personally or professionally. But if your values are in the right place, your intentionality is there, then yeah, we all have differences. We all have ways that we can grow and support and lean and learn from each other. But I want to give you permission to be really clear with what your expectations and boundaries are that you're holding for yourself and your next journey. And what does it mean for you. And it might be exploration, it might be discovery and adventure, like mine was last year. And it might be more strategic boundaries, like mine is this year, of being really clear with who fits into my life and why. And just straight up saying like, Hey, if you don't want to be kind and be friends and be a part of my life in this way, then that's okay, I wish you well, but your pasts over there and mines here. We so often keep relationships in our lives because of maybe how we were connected in our past with that person. Or maybe we see an opportunity for success. Or maybe someone else likes that person. So you feel that you should too. I want to give you permission to not waste your time and energy on relationships that aren't meant for you. I want to give you permission to get really clear on who you need in your life and finding them. I want to give you permission to live full out for you for your values, character and intentionality to live the best version of your life that you can in this current season. We don't know everything in the moment, we are always evolving and changing. And I'm so grateful to have another trip around the sun and really dive into what is next for me, for mamas schools, first community, and every year I think we should reflect on our learnings or journey and where we want to go next. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of the last year of my life. I'm proud of where we're at. Are there times that I'm not absolutely because I'm a real human and I sit there and like I'm a failure. But there's always something to be proud of. And I am proud and I have done cool things but I couldn't do it without you. I couldn't do with the right puzzle pieces. And I'm also learning which pieces don't fit in my puzzle. So I just wanted to give you that permission today a little spicy, a little love a little sugar coated and a little Sap. But I love being here for sending you so much love. And I can't wait to chat next week. Mom in your life that you see and love her by sharing this episode. Giving while your cup is overflowing always pays itself back tenfold when you need it most.