A Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Who Are Ready for the Quieter Work of Unlearning
Episode 309 •
28th August 2026 • More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human • Heather Hester | Advocate for Parents of LGBTQ Teens
The unlearning doesn't stop. It just gets quieter, and quieter isn't the same as finished.
This Butterfly Effect episode picks up Tuesday's quarterly check-in with one small practice: catching the reflex to label someone before you actually know anything true about them.
In this episode, you'll learn how to:
Notice the moment you want to label someone's gender or identity before you've been told anything
Sit in uncertainty about someone's identity without reaching for a label to ease your own discomfort
Ask yourself what you're still doing on autopilot that deserves a second look
Press play for this week's word, tiny action, and one line worth stealing.
Hi, I’m Heather Hester, and I’m so glad you’re here!
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Listen to *NEW* episodes every Tuesday and Friday!
At the heart of my work is a deep commitment to compassion, authenticity, and transformative allyship, especially for those navigating the complexities of parenting LGBTQ kids. Through this podcast, speaking, my writing, and the spaces I create, I help people unlearn bias, embrace their full humanity, and grow their capacity for courageous, compassionate connection.
For parents, allies, and those pioneering a way to lead with love and kindness, I’m here with true, messy, and heart-warming stories, real tools, and grounding support to help you move from fear to fierce, informed action.
Whether you’re listening in, working with me directly, or quietly taking it all in, I see you. And I’m so glad you’re part of this journey.
More Human. More Kind. formerly Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen is a safe and supportive podcast in a heartfelt and empowering space where a mom and advocate offers practical guidance and education to parents and allies, fostering empathy, kindness, love, and strong boundaries while supporting LGBTQ teens and the diverse LGBTQ community—including gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, transgender, and queer individuals—through conversations about mental health, grief, gender identity, sexual orientation, human rights, social justice, parenting, parent support, and meaningful LGBTQ allyship and allyship in action.
Mentioned in this episode:
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Transcripts
Speaker A:
In today's episode, you'll learn quick actions to help with your unlearning process.
Speaker B:
Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast for parents of LGBTQ kids and anyone trying to stay human in a world that keeps hardening.
Speaker B:
I'm Heather Hester, and here we talk about fear, belonging, boundaries, courage, love, and what it means to protect what matters without losing yourself in the process.
Speaker B:
Your child doesn't just need a parent who's informed.
Speaker B:
They need a parent who is grounded and strong.
Speaker B:
Let's take a breath and let's begin.
Speaker A:
Welcome to More Human, More Kind.
Speaker A:
I'm Heather Hester.
Speaker A:
On Tuesday, I shared with you where I actually am right now in my own unlearning, catching myself reaching for a label or a tidy category before I actually know anything.
Speaker A:
Not the loud and obvious beliefs and biases that I had to unlearn those first few years, the quieter kind that comes after, the more automatic and habitual ones.
Speaker A:
If you haven't listened yet to that episode, go back and start there, because this episode builds right on top of it.
Speaker A:
I want to circle back to something that I said on Tuesday, which is the unlearning doesn't stop, it just gets quieter and quieter isn't the same as finished.
Speaker A:
And I want you to just sit with that for a moment.
Speaker A:
How does that make you feel?
Speaker A:
Or what thoughts come up when I say that if you were waiting to arrive somewhere to be done, to have finally unlearned enough, I want to gently take that finish line away from you this week.
Speaker A:
There isn't one, and that's actually not a discouraging thing.
Speaker A:
It means that there's always another layer to peel back, ways that you can expand and grow and continue becoming the best version of yourself.
Speaker A:
And that is actually good news.
Speaker A:
So here's your butterfly effect for the week.
Speaker A:
Your word is labeling.
Speaker A:
Not identity, not clarity, but labeling, which is the reflex to file someone into a tidy category for your own comfort before you actually know anything true about them.
Speaker A:
Your tidy action this week is to notice the moment you want to label someone's gender, their identity or experience before you've actually been told anything.
Speaker A:
Just notice that.
Speaker A:
Move it into your field of active awareness.
Speaker A:
You don't have to fix it just yet, just notice it.
Speaker A:
Your micro rebellion is to sit in uncertainty about someone's identity for one full conversation this week without reaching for a label to resolve your own discomfort.
Speaker A:
Be okay with not knowing while being aware of all the feelings that brings up for you.
Speaker A:
This is how you grow your capacity and move into more nuanced unlearning your one line for this week is what am I still doing on autopilot that deserves a second look?
Speaker A:
What am I doing automatically, habitually, that deserves a second look?
Speaker A:
Ask yourself this once this week, honestly, I'm adding this new section to the Butterfly Effect episodes because it just fits so beautifully with the whole theme of what the Butterfly Effect is.
Speaker A:
Each week I'm going to read a listener review.
Speaker A:
I am so grateful when people take the time to share their thoughts about the show and I thought that not only would this be a fun way to give people a shout out, but also to encourage you to leave a review to show you how simple it is and how quick it can be.
Speaker A:
It doesn't have to be a long, drawn out experience.
Speaker A:
It literally can be a 30 second thing that can do absolutely so much good in the world.
Speaker A:
So today's review is from Meg:
Speaker A:
Five stars.
Speaker A:
This podcast is so important to have for LGBTQ youth, especially given the current climate.
Speaker A:
Thanks meg:
Speaker A:
You've got that right.
Speaker A:
And I appreciate your feedback and your help with growing this podcast.
Speaker A:
And again, I feel like many people don't know that reviews did that, that they help grow podcasts.
Speaker A:
As you just heard.
Speaker A:
Again, they don't need to be elaborate just one true sentence about how you feel, what you think about this podcast.
Speaker A:
30 Seconds helps a niche show like this one reach the parents and allies who need to find genuinely makes my day.
Speaker A:
And helping grow the show goes a long way to helping the world become a little more human and a little more kind.
