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Ep 2. 1st Year as a Mompreneur
Episode 215th January 2023 • The Mom CEO Suite: Life & Business Systems for Mompreneurs Seeking Work Life Balance • Phylicia Pough, Life & Business Systems Strategist for Moms
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In this solo episode, our host Phylicia shares her 1st year as a mompreneur. Reflections and challenges and lessons are shared.

About Phylicia

Phylicia Pough, MBA is a wife, mom of 2 and an entrepreneur. For over 10 years, Phylicia has been behind the scenes of businesses and ministries, keeping things organized. Her journey started in Administration and developed into Systems & Automation Consulting/Strategy. 

Her latest venture is The Mom CEO Suite which is a community for the modern day mom in business that helps mompreneur coaches, consultants & service providers build sustainable online businesses through systems, so they have the freedom to put family first without the business suffering.


Connect with Phylicia

Facebook: Phylicia Pough

Instagram: @PhyliciaPough


Connect with The Mom CEO Suite

Website: themomceosuite.com

Instagram: @themomceosuite

Join The Mom CEO Suite Email Community



This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Chartable - https://chartable.com/privacy

Transcripts

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I would say rollercoaster.

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Up and down, up and down, up and down.

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Lots of exhilaration.

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little bit of fear.

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But overall a good right.

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So, let me just go back to the beginning and.

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Give a little.

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Backdrop to my first year.

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So my daughter was born in August of 2021.

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She was born in South Carolina.

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I had moved there to be.

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With my family.

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I had originally planned Q4 of 2020.

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I had made the decision that I was finally going to move to Charlotte.

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My dad had moved down there a while ago.

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And every time I went to visit, it was like a, a place of peace for me.

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And so, Q4 of 2020.

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I made the decision finally going to go.

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I'm moving to Charlotte.

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And then in December, Found out I was pregnant.

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And I'm like, man, that kind of changes the plan a little bit.

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Right?

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Because if things work out with my child's father, then we'll

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probably be in the DMV area.

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But I did not want to miss the opportunity to be in the Carolinas.

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And so I still moved down there.

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I stayed there for like a year and a half, and I said, , If I'm going to be.

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Pregnant.

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I want to be in a peaceful environment and Philly where I'm originally from was

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not that peaceful environment for me.

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So I did go down to the Carolinas.

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I was down there for my pregnancy and I gave birth to

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my daughter in August of 2021.

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And then.

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Let's see may of 2022.

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We ended up moving to the DMV area.

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I moved here with my then child's father and in August of 2022.

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We got married.

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And so he's nailed my husband.

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And here we are.

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So just thinking back and reflecting on that first year.

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There were so many things, things that I just had to get adjusted to.

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You know, except this new norm.

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And one of the major things that I had to in the beginning get used to.

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Was adjusting to not being able to just get up and go.

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I love to travel and.

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Prior to giving birth.

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I was going back and forth.

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Even during my pregnancy.

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I did a lot of traveling.

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I was in Atlanta.

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I was in the Carolinas.

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I was in the DMV.

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I went to, some islands, I think it was like St.

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John.

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So.

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I'm a traveler and now having a baby, it's totally different.

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You just can't get up and go.

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And most times I don't even feel like it.

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Once I start thinking about all of the things that I need to take.

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It's just a totally different situation.

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And.

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At first, I was a little bit.

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You know, bummed out about it.

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But I soon realized that this is just a season and I had to shift my mindset.

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To recognize that this is just a season, , it's not always going to be this way.

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One day, she's going to be grown out the house.

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And I'll be able to travel whenever or as she gets older, I can send her somewhere.

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To stay with somebody, but when she was young, I really wasn't even

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in a place where I was trusting.

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Trusting her to be with other people a lot.

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And so that meant I was at home as well.

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, but this forced me to.

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Find joy in other things.

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And it just opened my eyes to the fact that I could find joy and other things.

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And most days it was in the little things, like just seeing her laugh.

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Or, The way she would look at me or feeling just this sense of pride.

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Knowing that I had this child, and so it's these little things which

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is, uh, a bit of a contrast to.

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Traveling I feel like traveling is like big experiences in big feelings.

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But in motherhood, You still felt those big feelings, but

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the experiences were smaller.

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And bite-sized, and that was new and different for me.

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But.

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I live now for those little moments, those little moments are everything.

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Everything to me.

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Now she's in this stage where.

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She like.

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Walks up to me and what's the give me a kiss or she'll come up and climb on

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me and lay her head on my chest and i'm like oh my goodness cue the waterworks

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is so adorable and melts my heart.

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and so it's these little things

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Another thing.

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This one was actually a little bit harder for me to adjust to,

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and that was being by myself.

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So when I was in the Carolinas, I was staying with my dad and his wife.

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And all of my family is pretty much from Philly.

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So.

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When I moved to the DMV.

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I really did not have any family that was immediately close to me.

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Like we couldn't just stop by each other's house or, you

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know, pop by on the weekends.

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My family affiliates about two and a half, three hours away.

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Which is in bed, but it's still not the same as just being in the same city.

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So.

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It was just me, my husband and my daughter.

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And my husband, he goes to work through the day.

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So I had to pretty much be at home with the baby by myself.

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Every day.

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And that was again different because I'm used to having family.

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Me and my family are very close.

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And it was a difficult transition.

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Also remember that.

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Um, a newlywed at this time as well.

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So.

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I'm still learning how to be a wife and all these things on top

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of learning, how to be a mom.

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That was a big challenge.

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I didn't have a village I didn't.

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Really know anybody here in the area.

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Being by myself.

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I really had to.

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Learn and adjust how to be in that space.

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So it kind of combat those feelings.

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We.

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Matt a lot, but we will go up to Philly.

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Sometimes and family came down and so that kind of lifted the burden a

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little bit and I was still be able to.

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Connect with my family and.

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Thank God for technology, because we can do video chats and all those

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things, which keeps us connected and is really helpful for me.

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But with that, it also is.

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Pushing me.

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Too.

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Be open to.

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A new community and a new village.

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Like I'm used to connecting.

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For business, like for entrepreneurship.

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But just for community.

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That was something.

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That was new for me.

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And it still is.

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I still haven't really.

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Bill a community.

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Of like-minded women.

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Locally.

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But it's a part of my plan.

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Now with being by myself.

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There's a lot.

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That.

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I was taking on, taking care of the baby, but then also the household . And.

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That became a lie.

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I had to learn how to speak up.

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In a different way that I wasn't used to, like I had to ask for help.

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I'm one of those people.

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That's like, if something needs to be done, I'll get it done.

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But in this situation, doing all the things.

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Was leading me to feelings of.

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I wouldn't say quite burnout, but there was lots of overwhelm.

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Because you feel like you're doing all this stuff.

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And so I had to learn how to speak up and say, Hey.

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I need some help.

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I had to have these conversations with my husband.

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And I had to let him, I had to allow him to help me.

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Now, when I got the help.

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This was another thing that I had to work through when I got the help.

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I had to learn how to let go or relinquish control of the process.

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What I mean is I know how I do things and I like things done.

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A certain way.

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and when I was receiving this help.

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Things weren't always necessarily done the way that I would have done them.

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But me being this.

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Type a personality.

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I'm a, I'm a systems person, right?

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I'm a systems thinker.

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So I did not realize just how much.

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I attempted to control processes in my personal life.

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Like in business.

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Yes.

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But I didn't know that really spilled over into my personal life.

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I attempted to control processes and the outcomes of things.

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But I had to learn how to let that go.

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It was little things even.

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Like when my husband started.

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Doing dishes more.

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I noticed that he put the dishes in, like the opposite way that I put them in.

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When I first noticed it, it bothered me, but I had to let go.

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Of these little things, because in the grand scheme of things,

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they do not matter at all.

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It got done.

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One less thing I had to do and he's being supportive.

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Right.

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And so I just had to learn how to give up control and, you know,

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you gotta pick your battles.

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I had to learn how to pick my battles.

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Because everything is not worth.

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It's not worth the fight.

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There were.

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Times where I felt like.

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I just didn't want to.

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Do anything.

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, it wasn't a thing of depression thankfully out in.

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Suffer from postpartum depression.

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And I had a really.

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Easy recovery.

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I had a really easy pregnancy.

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I think I'll do a bonus episode about my pregnancy and the birth more.

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So the birth.

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Um, cause this is a really good story, but.

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I wasn't suffering from depression, but.

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I think I was wrestling with.

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Do I want to continue on in entrepreneurship or do I want

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to be a stay at home mom?

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What is it that I want to do?

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And I just didn't really feel like doing anything.

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Like I felt like.

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I had lost my desire and my passion for the work that I had been doing.

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I mean, I still feel like that sometimes, but.

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During the first year, it was something that was a really heavy.

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And what really helped me to get out of that space was.

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Just the fact that as my daughter grew older, I didn't want to.

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Just be telling her what to do.

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I want it to be.

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Uh, living example for her.

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And that really.

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That desire that pushed me.

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To continue on following my dreams and going after my goals and all those things.

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Because I wanted her to look at me.

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As the example, right.

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I didn't want her to look at me and see me as.

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Sad and unaccomplished and with the woe is me type of attitude.

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Right?

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So.

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Working through that was really important and it's just helped me

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to continue on an entrepreneurship.

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I know that.

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For me.

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Being a mom.

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It does take priority.

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Over the business and that's how I, I wanted to be.

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I want to be a mom first.

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, Matt, a business owner first.

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But I don't want to give up on my dreams and my goals just because I'm a mom.

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Now looking at the entrepreneurial side of beings going my

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first year as a mompreneur.

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There were a few things that were taking place prior to I had been

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doing some done for you services.

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And during my first year, there were some pivots that I made in

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my business as it related to how I wanted to serve my audience.

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I was wanting to do less done for you work.

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And I wanted to shift into doing.

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Group programming.

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And then there was a pivot in who I actually was going to be serving.

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And so I had to take a lot of time to.

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Gain some clarity about who I was serving.

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I shifted.

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My audience to mompreneurs or moms in business.

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My services, they still could be beneficial to.

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Traditional entrepreneurs, but my marketing.

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What really just hit the heart of mompreneurs.

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And so once I made that pivot, I had to really.

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Do some work around my messaging to make sure that I was very clear in how I was

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speaking to this new target audience.

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And so during my first year as a mompreneur, I really felt like I was

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starting a new business because I was.

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Shifting.

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my services billing less done for you doing less special projects

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during this time, I really was.

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Just trying to find a way.

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Two.

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I serve, but still be in that position where I am mom first and the

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business wasn't taking over my life.

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And that meant that I, was quiet for a little bit.

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But I learned that it's okay to retreat.

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It's okay.

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To take a step back so that you can gain clarity around what it is that you

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are doing and gain momentum around it.

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And I also learned that you just really have to be excited about what it is that.

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You are doing.

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Um, recently someone who.

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I've known for years.

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We've helped each other back and forth.

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In business and, um, he reached out for.

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Some business help.

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And he offered me a few different opportunities to assist . And I chose

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things that I was excited about.

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And so the things that.

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I didn't find interest in.

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I readily said no.

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And that is something new that prior to being a mom, I probably

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would've just accepted all of the different opportunities just

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because it was an opportunity and it was something that I could do.

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But just because you can do something does not mean that.

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You should do it.

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So I'm being very.

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Selective.

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In who I work with.

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But also how I work with people.

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I am managing my energetic capacity.

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And that looks like having boundaries.

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Just to do a bit of a recap.

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The things that I really was challenged with were adjusting to

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not being able to just get up and go like, there's this little human

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attached to you all day, every day.

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And I think for me, it was even more challenging because I exclusively.

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Breastfed as well.

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And I stopped pumping when she was six months.

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I believe, maybe even sooner.

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Pumping just didn't work for me.

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. Breastfeeding.

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I said, it's just another layer of challenge right there.

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So adjusting to not being able to just getting up and go.

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Being by myself without my normal village that I'm used to.

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I had to learn how to speak up.

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And ask for help.

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But I also had to learn how to give up control.

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And dig deep to reignite.

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The passion for my goals and my dreams again.

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If I could go back and do anything differently or just

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do anything differently.

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As I continue on in this journey, for sure.

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It will be asking for help.

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I even today, the day that I'm recording this episode, I've been

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thinking about the type of home help.

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That I want to get.

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, because it's time to begin to delegate those things.

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So I can gain some more time, freedom . There's a lot of

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things that go on in the house.

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Prepping, prepping food takes up a lot of time.

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And so I was thinking, what are the things that take up a lot of my time

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and prepping food is one of those.

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So being able to.

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get house manager or.

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Uh, part-time prep, chef something, you know, some type of help in that area.

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So I can be relieved of their duty and just have more time freedom to either.

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I spend with baby girl or just add a few more working hours to my day.

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, they will be helpful.

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So that's one of the main things that I am.

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Looking to change as I continue on in this journey.

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And I probably would just give myself a little bit more grace.

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I think I did pretty well, but looking back, there were times where.

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I know , I could have just been a little bit more patient with myself

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because it was a new experience for me.

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And I don't like.

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Ealing.

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Uh, like I am failing.

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But again, motherhood and entrepreneurship.

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And then they'll mix together.

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Is a major learning curve.

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So for sure, giving myself more grace.

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In this space.

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Is something that.

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I would do differently and something that I'm doing now.

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Overall, you know, it was up and down.

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But it was joyous.

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It's just been a joy and I think I have this.

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Immense sense of gratefulness.

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To just be able to be her mom.

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Like I was selected and I was chosen to be this little girl's mom.

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And I'm honored.

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It's an honor to be a mom.

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Especially when there are so many women who desire that, and

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they're not able to experience it.

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And so I don't take it for granted.

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And I don't take it lightly at all.

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I feel blessed that I'm her mom.

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And as she grows up, I want her to look at me.

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And feel like she is blessed because I'm her mom.

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And so the journey continues.

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