Hi Friend!

In this solo episode, our host Phylicia shares her 1st year as a mompreneur. Reflections and challenges and lessons are shared.

About Phylicia

Phylicia Pough, MBA is a wife, mom of 2 and an entrepreneur. For over 10 years, Phylicia has been behind the scenes of businesses and ministries, keeping things organized. Her journey started in Administration and developed into Systems & Automation Consulting/Strategy. 

Her latest venture is The Mom CEO Suite which is a community for the modern day mom in business that helps mompreneur coaches, consultants & service providers build sustainable online businesses through systems, so they have the freedom to put family first without the business suffering.

Connect with Phylicia

Facebook: Phylicia Pough

Instagram: @PhyliciaPough

Connect with The Mom CEO Suite

Website: themomceosuite.com

Instagram: @themomceosuite

Join The Mom CEO Suite Email Community

​

I would say rollercoaster.

Up and down, up and down, up and down.

Lots of exhilaration.

little bit of fear.

But overall a good right.

So, let me just go back to the beginning and.

Give a little.

Backdrop to my first year.

So my daughter was born in August of 2021.

She was born in South Carolina.

I had moved there to be.

With my family.

I had originally planned Q4 of 2020.

I had made the decision that I was finally going to move to Charlotte.

My dad had moved down there a while ago.

And every time I went to visit, it was like a, a place of peace for me.

And so, Q4 of 2020.

I made the decision finally going to go.

I'm moving to Charlotte.

And then in December, Found out I was pregnant.

And I'm like, man, that kind of changes the plan a little bit.

Right?

Because if things work out with my child's father, then we'll

probably be in the DMV area.

But I did not want to miss the opportunity to be in the Carolinas.

And so I still moved down there.

I stayed there for like a year and a half, and I said, , If I'm going to be.

Pregnant.

I want to be in a peaceful environment and Philly where I'm originally from was

not that peaceful environment for me.

So I did go down to the Carolinas.

I was down there for my pregnancy and I gave birth to

my daughter in August of 2021.

And then.

Let's see may of 2022.

We ended up moving to the DMV area.

I moved here with my then child's father and in August of 2022.

We got married.

And so he's nailed my husband.

And here we are.

So just thinking back and reflecting on that first year.

There were so many things, things that I just had to get adjusted to.

You know, except this new norm.

And one of the major things that I had to in the beginning get used to.

Was adjusting to not being able to just get up and go.

I love to travel and.

Prior to giving birth.

I was going back and forth.

Even during my pregnancy.

I did a lot of traveling.

I was in Atlanta.

I was in the Carolinas.

I was in the DMV.

I went to, some islands, I think it was like St.

John.

So.

I'm a traveler and now having a baby, it's totally different.

You just can't get up and go.

And most times I don't even feel like it.

Once I start thinking about all of the things that I need to take.

It's just a totally different situation.

And.

At first, I was a little bit.

You know, bummed out about it.

But I soon realized that this is just a season and I had to shift my mindset.

To recognize that this is just a season, , it's not always going to be this way.

One day, she's going to be grown out the house.

And I'll be able to travel whenever or as she gets older, I can send her somewhere.

To stay with somebody, but when she was young, I really wasn't even

in a place where I was trusting.

Trusting her to be with other people a lot.

And so that meant I was at home as well.

, but this forced me to.

Find joy in other things.

And it just opened my eyes to the fact that I could find joy and other things.

And most days it was in the little things, like just seeing her laugh.

Or, The way she would look at me or feeling just this sense of pride.

Knowing that I had this child, and so it's these little things which

is, uh, a bit of a contrast to.

Traveling I feel like traveling is like big experiences in big feelings.

But in motherhood, You still felt those big feelings, but

the experiences were smaller.

And bite-sized, and that was new and different for me.

But.

I live now for those little moments, those little moments are everything.

Everything to me.

Now she's in this stage where.

She like.

Walks up to me and what's the give me a kiss or she'll come up and climb on

me and lay her head on my chest and i'm like oh my goodness cue the waterworks

is so adorable and melts my heart.

and so it's these little things

Another thing.

This one was actually a little bit harder for me to adjust to,

and that was being by myself.

So when I was in the Carolinas, I was staying with my dad and his wife.

And all of my family is pretty much from Philly.

So.

When I moved to the DMV.

I really did not have any family that was immediately close to me.

Like we couldn't just stop by each other's house or, you

know, pop by on the weekends.

My family affiliates about two and a half, three hours away.

Which is in bed, but it's still not the same as just being in the same city.

So.

It was just me, my husband and my daughter.

And my husband, he goes to work through the day.

So I had to pretty much be at home with the baby by myself.

Every day.

And that was again different because I'm used to having family.

Me and my family are very close.

And it was a difficult transition.

Also remember that.

Um, a newlywed at this time as well.

So.

I'm still learning how to be a wife and all these things on top

of learning, how to be a mom.

That was a big challenge.

I didn't have a village I didn't.

Really know anybody here in the area.

Being by myself.

I really had to.

Learn and adjust how to be in that space.

So it kind of combat those feelings.

We.

Matt a lot, but we will go up to Philly.

Sometimes and family came down and so that kind of lifted the burden a

little bit and I was still be able to.

Connect with my family and.

Thank God for technology, because we can do video chats and all those

things, which keeps us connected and is really helpful for me.

But with that, it also is.

Pushing me.

Too.

Be open to.

A new community and a new village.

Like I'm used to connecting.

For business, like for entrepreneurship.

But just for community.

That was something.

That was new for me.

And it still is.

I still haven't really.

Bill a community.

Of like-minded women.

Locally.

But it's a part of my plan.

Now with being by myself.

There's a lot.

That.

I was taking on, taking care of the baby, but then also the household . And.

That became a lie.

I had to learn how to speak up.

In a different way that I wasn't used to, like I had to ask for help.

I'm one of those people.

That's like, if something needs to be done, I'll get it done.

But in this situation, doing all the things.

Was leading me to feelings of.

I wouldn't say quite burnout, but there was lots of overwhelm.

Because you feel like you're doing all this stuff.

And so I had to learn how to speak up and say, Hey.

I need some help.

I had to have these conversations with my husband.

And I had to let him, I had to allow him to help me.

Now, when I got the help.

This was another thing that I had to work through when I got the help.

I had to learn how to let go or relinquish control of the process.

What I mean is I know how I do things and I like things done.

A certain way.

and when I was receiving this help.

Things weren't always necessarily done the way that I would have done them.

But me being this.

Type a personality.

I'm a, I'm a systems person, right?

I'm a systems thinker.

So I did not realize just how much.

I attempted to control processes in my personal life.

Like in business.

Yes.

But I didn't know that really spilled over into my personal life.

I attempted to control processes and the outcomes of things.

But I had to learn how to let that go.

It was little things even.

Like when my husband started.

Doing dishes more.

I noticed that he put the dishes in, like the opposite way that I put them in.

When I first noticed it, it bothered me, but I had to let go.

Of these little things, because in the grand scheme of things,

they do not matter at all.

It got done.

One less thing I had to do and he's being supportive.

Right.

And so I just had to learn how to give up control and, you know,

you gotta pick your battles.

I had to learn how to pick my battles.

Because everything is not worth.

It's not worth the fight.

There were.

Times where I felt like.

I just didn't want to.

Do anything.

, it wasn't a thing of depression thankfully out in.

Suffer from postpartum depression.

And I had a really.

Easy recovery.

I had a really easy pregnancy.

I think I'll do a bonus episode about my pregnancy and the birth more.

So the birth.

Um, cause this is a really good story, but.

I wasn't suffering from depression, but.

I think I was wrestling with.

Do I want to continue on in entrepreneurship or do I want

to be a stay at home mom?

What is it that I want to do?

And I just didn't really feel like doing anything.

Like I felt like.

I had lost my desire and my passion for the work that I had been doing.

I mean, I still feel like that sometimes, but.

During the first year, it was something that was a really heavy.

And what really helped me to get out of that space was.

Just the fact that as my daughter grew older, I didn't want to.

Just be telling her what to do.

I want it to be.

Uh, living example for her.

And that really.

That desire that pushed me.

To continue on following my dreams and going after my goals and all those things.

Because I wanted her to look at me.

As the example, right.

I didn't want her to look at me and see me as.

Sad and unaccomplished and with the woe is me type of attitude.

Right?

So.

Working through that was really important and it's just helped me

to continue on an entrepreneurship.

I know that.

For me.

Being a mom.

It does take priority.

Over the business and that's how I, I wanted to be.

I want to be a mom first.

, Matt, a business owner first.

But I don't want to give up on my dreams and my goals just because I'm a mom.

Now looking at the entrepreneurial side of beings going my

first year as a mompreneur.

There were a few things that were taking place prior to I had been

doing some done for you services.

And during my first year, there were some pivots that I made in

my business as it related to how I wanted to serve my audience.

I was wanting to do less done for you work.

And I wanted to shift into doing.

Group programming.

And then there was a pivot in who I actually was going to be serving.

And so I had to take a lot of time to.

Gain some clarity about who I was serving.

I shifted.

My audience to mompreneurs or moms in business.

My services, they still could be beneficial to.

Traditional entrepreneurs, but my marketing.

What really just hit the heart of mompreneurs.

And so once I made that pivot, I had to really.

Do some work around my messaging to make sure that I was very clear in how I was

speaking to this new target audience.

And so during my first year as a mompreneur, I really felt like I was

starting a new business because I was.

Shifting.

my services billing less done for you doing less special projects

during this time, I really was.

Just trying to find a way.

Two.

I serve, but still be in that position where I am mom first and the

business wasn't taking over my life.

And that meant that I, was quiet for a little bit.

But I learned that it's okay to retreat.

It's okay.

To take a step back so that you can gain clarity around what it is that you

are doing and gain momentum around it.

And I also learned that you just really have to be excited about what it is that.

You are doing.

Um, recently someone who.

I've known for years.

We've helped each other back and forth.

In business and, um, he reached out for.

Some business help.

And he offered me a few different opportunities to assist . And I chose

things that I was excited about.

And so the things that.

I didn't find interest in.

I readily said no.

And that is something new that prior to being a mom, I probably

would've just accepted all of the different opportunities just

because it was an opportunity and it was something that I could do.

But just because you can do something does not mean that.

You should do it.

So I'm being very.

Selective.

In who I work with.

But also how I work with people.

I am managing my energetic capacity.

And that looks like having boundaries.

Just to do a bit of a recap.

The things that I really was challenged with were adjusting to

not being able to just get up and go like, there's this little human

attached to you all day, every day.

And I think for me, it was even more challenging because I exclusively.

Breastfed as well.

And I stopped pumping when she was six months.

I believe, maybe even sooner.

Pumping just didn't work for me.

. Breastfeeding.

I said, it's just another layer of challenge right there.

So adjusting to not being able to just getting up and go.

Being by myself without my normal village that I'm used to.

I had to learn how to speak up.

And ask for help.

But I also had to learn how to give up control.

And dig deep to reignite.

The passion for my goals and my dreams again.

If I could go back and do anything differently or just

do anything differently.

As I continue on in this journey, for sure.

It will be asking for help.

I even today, the day that I'm recording this episode, I've been

thinking about the type of home help.

That I want to get.

, because it's time to begin to delegate those things.

So I can gain some more time, freedom . There's a lot of

things that go on in the house.

Prepping, prepping food takes up a lot of time.

And so I was thinking, what are the things that take up a lot of my time

and prepping food is one of those.

So being able to.

get house manager or.

Uh, part-time prep, chef something, you know, some type of help in that area.

So I can be relieved of their duty and just have more time freedom to either.

I spend with baby girl or just add a few more working hours to my day.

, they will be helpful.

So that's one of the main things that I am.

Looking to change as I continue on in this journey.

And I probably would just give myself a little bit more grace.

I think I did pretty well, but looking back, there were times where.

I know , I could have just been a little bit more patient with myself

because it was a new experience for me.

And I don't like.

Ealing.

Uh, like I am failing.

But again, motherhood and entrepreneurship.

And then they'll mix together.

Is a major learning curve.

So for sure, giving myself more grace.

In this space.

Is something that.

I would do differently and something that I'm doing now.

Overall, you know, it was up and down.

But it was joyous.

It's just been a joy and I think I have this.

Immense sense of gratefulness.

To just be able to be her mom.

Like I was selected and I was chosen to be this little girl's mom.

And I'm honored.

It's an honor to be a mom.

Especially when there are so many women who desire that, and

they're not able to experience it.

And so I don't take it for granted.

And I don't take it lightly at all.

I feel blessed that I'm her mom.

And as she grows up, I want her to look at me.

And feel like she is blessed because I'm her mom.

And so the journey continues.