Summary:

What happens when two things that feel opposite are both true? In this conversation, Keri opens up about navigating a new executive role while moving through a divorce—holding professional composure at work and real, messy feelings at home. We unpack how she leveraged support systems, practiced grace, and built confidence she didn’t know she had—without oversharing or hiding who she is.

Keri Smith is the Senior Vice President of HR at HH Hunt, known for people-first leadership, deep EQ, and building trust through candid, compassionate conversations.

Chapters:

00:00 – Letting It Out, Not Shutting Down (naming feelings and the role of silence)

03:00 – The “Both/And” Messy Middle (new company + divorce at the same time)

08:00 – A Boss Who Gets It (prior context, trust, and early candor)

13:00 – Facts Over Stories (stopping the spiral with better questions)

19:00 – The Friend Who Coaches (open-ended questions that heal)

24:00 – Reading the Room (EQ at work, introvert strengths)

29:00 – From Private to Helpful (others start seeking her counsel)

35:00 – Faith, Family, and Hard Choices (prayer, discernment, and next steps)

42:00 – Where to Connect + Final Advice (know yourself early; trust your gut)

Host Alexa Beavers: linkedin.com/in/alexabeaverspmp

Guest Keri Smith: linkedin.com/in/kerilsmith11

Executive Producer Jim Kanichirayil: linkedin.com/in/drjimk

Music Credit: "Lost in Dreams" by Kulakovka

It was, I'm here, let it out. Is, was there anything in particular that happened today? Is there one thing that you want to talk about? And typically there was. A memory or a text or a conversation, an email that just was very triggering is usually what happened. And she would say, talk to me.

And what have you done with that has been helpful? She definitely, even though she was not somebody that was very faith-based, she knew that was for me. And that was even a struggle in the midst of all of this and. was so impressed that she took something that was not her platform or, very close to her heart and she knew it was for me and, would ask questions in relation to, okay, can you step back and think about, from a faith perspective, what else could this mean? Is there any other story that could be, happening, that you're not thinking about? And these conversations would be like two hours long, bless her heart that, the ability to stay [00:02:00] engaged. In a situation where, she had her own things going on as well, that we would end typically with okay.

Alexa Beavers: What happens when two things that feel opposite are both true? Can you be authentic at work without bearing at all? In this episode, with Keri Smith, senior Vice President of HR at HH Hunt, who navigated two major life changes while stepping into a new role at a brand new company in a new industry.

Her story is about resilience, vulnerability, and what it really means to lead as a whole human through change that is both difficult and exciting.

Keri, welcome to the show today. I am so delighted you're here. Thanks for joining us.

Keri Smith: Thank you. Excited to be here.

Alexa Beavers: Yeah. And as we often talk about the messy moments in our career and in our lives as whole human leaders.

Keri Smith: my messy moment is a little bit on the personal side. And I share it because I feel like it's probably fairly common. Not great, but common. And about 10 years ago. Very close to when we're talking about I started going through a divorce. At the same time I had just started a new job with a new company.

And in my previous company I had been there for 20 years. So this was a lot of change, a lot of newness all happening at once and a lot of emotion. Just changing jobs in and of itself, I think brought in a lot of anxiety. And then the sort of messiness that was, a divorce and just dealing with all of that with my kids that brought on a lot of different experiences and emotions to say the least.

That's three big, huge things all at once. And I don't know, maybe there was even more, but. I imagine that created a lot of internal churn, and I'm curious about how was, what was that like for you?

Keri Smith: So the one thing that knowing that it was a new job, a new company, a I really only knew one other person there from a, my previous work was the goal was to not show anybody that's what was happening on the outside. And as what's happening in your personal life and being able to shut that down as you walk in the door to work is extremely difficult.

Alexa Beavers: what was so important about that for you? I think that there's this big question about being authentic and also being professional. So tell me more about what was important to you in this new job to be, not showing that piece of your world to your new colleagues.

Keri Smith: and that was really difficult for me because I'm the kind of person that I generally am very open and transparent and honest about, what's going on in my world. And having really open and honest conversations, even with people that I'm, are new to me and new relationships. I think the biggest driver behind that was.

We need to show up. Like we know what we're doing, we know what we're talking about. When they ask you a question, you've got the answers. It's all that same. Feeling that you wanna, show up like you're supposed to be here, like you add value and that nothing of that other stuff is getting in the way.

Alexa Beavers: There's a couple things here that are so fascinating and powerful. One, you just revealed that you were 20 years in another company where you'd probably built up a strong reputation for competence and then you come into this new place and part of your identity is being competent, being great at what you do, and it sounds like you really wanted.

To lean into that part of you as you paved the way with these new folks, in addition to really figuring out, okay, how do I do that when I have all this happening in the background? One of the things you said was, I had a boss who really understood, and that was your confidant. Tell me how you did, how did you leverage that relationship to help you to show up as your best self despite all the noise in the background and the baggage that you called it?

I did know of people that worked for him very well, so there was, and he understood what I was coming from into this new role. So there was a level of understanding that he knew just from a career standpoint of, going from 20 years in one industry to a brand new industry, in a brand new role. So I think that helped that we didn't have to start from scratch building that relationship and that there was already, a door opening to having a conversation of just what the differences were with.

Alexa Beavers: It sounds like you had a confidant who had some prior knowledge of you, even if it wasn't a very tight relationship, there was something there. They had confidence in your abilities and they became someone that you felt like you could trust and vice versa.

Keri Smith: Absolutely

What was that like?

Keri Smith: in the beginning, it was super exciting when I walked in there. What really got me excited about this role is it was new, but they hadn't done a lot of what I got to do at my other company. So my boss gave me, and he was very clear about, I hope this doesn't scare you, but he gave me two pages full of stuff of, Hey, this is what we're not doing that you're familiar with at the other company.

And he's like, how does that make you feel? And I'm like, this is exciting. This is that. Creativity and innovation and opportunity to put our own stamp on, on stuff within the company was very exciting. So in the beginning, even though there was some turmoil going on outside, this got me really excited.

And just the fear, like I. I did watch my parents, go through a divorce and so from a child's perspective, I understood it, but not from an adult perspective. And there's a lot of fear that comes along with that. And so the fear of changing jobs started to diminish, which was really helpful just for my overall sanity.

I wasn't, in all honesty, so to add to the messiness. I'm not good. I've gotten way better, but I was never really good at compartmentalizing. So this was a little bit of a test for me to really practice doing that. And again, I wasn't good at it at first. There were times where I'm like, I, okay, I've gotta go to the bathroom.

We gotta let all this stuff out. We gotta work ourself back into it and then go back out, or on the way to work or on the way home. Those were the moments where I had. And I let myself have that meltdown and then get it out and then get back into what I needed to do, whether it was, on the way to work and getting myself ready for that or on the way home before, I was with my kids.

So the fear about the job dissipated because it became a place of creativity and you could have some autonomy and what you built together, and then you gave yourself those eight hours. Sometimes not perfectly, and that's fine. But then you've, you turned your full attention to the personal stuff.

Would you mind if we learn a little bit more about how you developed that skill?

Talk to me. And again, a really good I had. Two to three people that were really my base that I could talk about things over and over again, the same things. And they'd listen. But that was one of the big things was let's talk about the facts and what you know and is there a decision that needs to be made right now?

Because I started to snowball with if this happens, then this happens. And to your point it feels like you get outta control. And that brings on all kinds of other emotions. And then I feel like I don't, I can't compartmentalize. I can't. Show up the right way at work and do the things I need to do.

Alexa Beavers: audience about what that means. Not everyone will, that they might f with their own story. So let's clear up.

Keri Smith: Okay, so the feeling preference in Myers-Briggs. So overall, I'm INFJ so introverted preference.

Intuition preference excuse me. Feeling preference and the judgment preference. So the feeling preference is really how you go about making decisions. And so that feeling preference is more of that subjective the decisions are more values based, relationship based and things like that.

She very much tried to get me to go on the opposite side of what I naturally wanted to do because it was so uncomfortable for me to be very direct. Short and to not put the relationship at the forefront of things and look at things very objectively, which felt cold to me. And so that was a big lesson learned of, when you're asked a question, you don't have to, one, you don't have to answer it.

And my whole family. 'cause I didn't have family close to me during that moment or during those years actually. It de definitely taught me a lot about myself and what is comfortable for me.

Alexa Beavers: Lemme rewind a little bit. One of the things that you mentioned was I'm gonna recap a little bit. As you were really thinking about how do you keep the workplace, the place of creativity, the place of competence you learned, what are some of your support structures were and some of those support structures.

The easiest thing to access for you, your comfort zone, which in this case might be feeling it might be going in, 'cause you mentioned that you have more of an introverted nature. And all of those things helped you to be able to process this stuff over time. Is that true?

Keri Smith: Yes, absolutely.

Alexa Beavers: So having your support system so that you can show up the way you need to in certain moments is really important and leaning on them.

And I'd love to hear more about how you used these lessons to help you stretch beyond. When it comes to making decisions, did that lead into any other parts of your life?

It was very much a coaching without them designated as a coach a very coaching relationship in order to get me to get to the answers or to me to get to a good place and not necessarily say, and naturally, and it all came from a good place, but everybody was like, you're gonna get through it.

You're gonna get through this. You'll see the light on the other side. You'll look back and you'll be like, okay, I, I did it and everything. Which was great. But in that moment, like you were saying, to be able to sit with those feelings and. Still know I was gonna get through it. In the end, I needed both of those things.

It, just fascinating way that they could ask me dynamite questions. And that's one thing I've tried to take with me, both from a career standpoint and a personal standpoint in just relationships. And so when I'm talking to people. Asking really deeper questions, not only from my understanding, but for them to be able to give a space for them to speak at a deeper level about what they're doing.

So I'm not making an assumption about some things that I'm getting more and deeper genuine thoughts from them to help whatever it is that they need from me.

Alexa Beavers: I think that's so powerful. One of the things that really stands out to me is that you did leverage your support structure in a way that helped you to really process things and they were they in a way that allowed you to grow.

Keri Smith: one of the individuals that I had many conversations with I would call her up and, she would just say hello. And I would, most likely I broke down. I'm a crier, so when I know I've gotta talk about some heavy stuff, that's usually the first reaction

Alexa Beavers: you said you need to be able to feel the feeling. Sometimes people don't even know what to do when there's emotions present.

Keri Smith: Yes. So crying is my body's way of saying I gotta let it out. And the silence. And it wasn't that she just didn't say anything.

Talk to me about what you read. Talk to me about what it sounded like. And almost, I don't know that she used the word triggering, but she was like, what is, what button is that hitting you for you? Several times there was what is the, is there a value that is that pushing up against she was really good at open-ended questions too what do you want to feel differently tomorrow than you are feeling today? What, if anything can you do today to help manage what those emotions are? Have you ever experienced, this was always good, the lookback. Have you ever experienced anything? In this feeling right now.

So what are you feeling right now and what are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Alexa Beavers: Wow,

Keri Smith: Yeah.

Alexa Beavers: an amazing

Keri Smith: she's a dynamite

Alexa Beavers: Great friend. And what an.

Keri Smith: of the best humans

Alexa Beavers: It sounds like it. I wanna meet her, and I'm so glad that she was able to meet you where you were and not just put her own lens over the question she was asking. She seems like she was really there for you in whatever way you needed.

Keri Smith: Very much.

Keri Smith: Yeah. And we are still extremely close friends to this day, so it's and we were a newly formed friendships, given my current role and something just clicked when we met each other. And I'm so thankful. So thankful that she was brought into my life and was able to play such a significant role during this.

Alexa Beavers: So I think that understanding what those moments were like so that you could turn on professional carry when you walked in the door the next day is so powerful. You really didn't skim over the feelings and you had someone to help you be in it in a way that probably would be a lot different than if you were going through your kind of, I don't know, worst case scenario situation.

Keri Smith: It was re and it was really easy to do that, left to my own accord. That's where my head went,

Keri Smith: Yes, and I really tried to take stock in what that EQ part the self pieces of, okay. What. What is happening and when am, what is the emotion that I'm doing, and then how is that translating? How am I letting that translate to others? Because I was worried about this being a new job and a new company and using, what I knew is my confidence and my knowledge to show up well and add value without letting the personal stuff get in the way.

Alexa Beavers: Really powerful. I think that things that you asked yourself, what is happening? A question that sometimes doesn't happen after that is how is that translating to others? How did you use that at work?

I've got a little bit of training just with being in HR with the EQ pieces of things and. I think a little bit unconsciously and maybe a little bit consciously of knowing that's a big part of how I build relationships and how do I use the things and the tools and resources that I like to teach others on?

How do I use that for myself, which I think a lot of times can be really easy to forget. When, you're asking others to do it, but then when you're put in the position where you're like, these are the things that I need to use myself just as much as I, I talk to other people about

Keri Smith: Excellent.

Alexa Beavers: though you might not have always felt like doing it. So you really typically take some time to read the room, and that's a powerful thing I hear. A lot of times people will say I really wish they would've read the room and maybe taken a different path.

And it sounds like that's a skillset that you use and then you change your actions. Adapt your actions to the outcome you want.

Keri Smith: I like to listen to people. I like to watch people. That may sound weird. I find people fascinating and so especially when it's new people and I don't have these deep relationships that I've have already established. So I'm looking to see who do I connect with, who you know.

This personal change. And it was actually really good because like we were saying it like that balance of personal to the excitement, and the fear and the unknown about the personal, with the excitement of everything new relationships, new tasks, job and stuff like that. I balanced me out more than it provided, all fear in all aspects of my life, if that makes sense.

Alexa Beavers: And it makes me think about the distinction between being in creation of your life and being reactive to everything around you. It sounds like maybe you had two places, one where you were learning and reacting because that's the nature of something that's. Happening in, maybe in divorce, and then maybe you had a place where you're creating.

So that created some balance and a place to grow into who you wanted to be in those moments.

And they joked at work and actually brought a couch into my office

Alexa Beavers: Oh

Keri Smith: I had so many people, I say so many people I know. I can remember four people that would come in and want to just talk about this kind of right here, of what was my journey like, what did I, what would I did I do?

That felt really good. And helpful. And what would I do, differently going forward? Both from a child that went through it from a divorce standpoint. And as a parent and I, one, one day I was like. I'm not an expert on this. I really am not. I've been through this one time and didn't do it well, I don't think in the beginning.

'cause again, the fear and everything along with that that I never, never thought I could do it. In all honesty,

Alexa Beavers: so you were shaping what was next for you on purpose. Even in the face of this is gonna feel icky, but it's the right thing for me. lemme ask you a couple of things. We've touched on so many important lessons that came about because you were unfiltered about being a whole person, and what are the things that you are taking away from that whole experience, from, taking the new job, going through a divorce, managing for a year so that you could.

Big, messy, but beautiful time in your life.

Keri Smith: a couple things and I touched on this. Change is hard. Whether it is you initiating it and you choosing. do it or it's being done, something externally is being done to, to force you to change. And that grief curve or the ch change curve when you think about it, all the same things happen.

And to give yourself a little bit of grace. I whether it was personal, whether it's been work, any time change is initiated. Understanding where you are in that journey, understanding where others might be in that journey and. The grace that I may go through something way quicker or way slower than somebody else.

I use the word and a lot these days instead of, but because I feel like it, it cap, it can capture both sides of those things that may feel. If you did it, you don't get to, you don't get to feel bad, you don't get to be emotional or guilty or, you've just gotta take what comes to you because it was your choice to begin with.

Was really draining for me. And I want to be open and genuine with people, and I think there's a level of trust that builds with others that is, that really is important to me. And that I think is a big contributor to how I approach leading, how I approach the work that I do. Any sort of relationship.

I wanna be authentic, I want to be genuine. And most of the time that works well for

Keri Smith: Yeah. The first thing that comes up without getting into the weeds of all the details of everything is I struggled from the fact of, is this the right decision? Is this the right decision to step away? And a marriage that was a long time made vows, I made commitment to the family, my children, like I, I knew as a child what that impact can be.

He would never tell you that. And I struggled with that because I was

Alexa Beavers: Really grappling. I can

Keri Smith: Yes. Because the right decision didn't not have faith part of it, it absolutely had a piece of that in it. And so then for I, I just, I was like, it is the right thing and it does oppose what you know.

A lot of, the messages are from a church perspective or a faith perspective, and he struggled with that. It was, what looked like two opposing things were true.

Alexa Beavers: Yeah. And so how did you lean into the opposing side? Living my faith and making this big choice for myself and my family.

And this is what I feel like and what I think is the right answer and. Now I've got my son, saying this over here. So is that you or is this you? Like It was but it was a lot of just what I feel like an honest conversation. How I like to talk, how I like to converse. Having those very personal conversations to just try and do what I think is the right next step. That was a lot of part of that whole what needs to be decided tomorrow or tonight, I don't have to figure it all out, but what do I think is the right next step?

Alexa Beavers: Beautiful. I think. Thank you for sharing that. That is a very tender and wholehearted answer. Thank you,

Alexa Beavers: And you know what? I think that sharing that reminds us that as you walk down the hall, if you're in a environment with somebody in the office, they could have that exact same thing they're struggling with. You just never know what somebody has going on as you go through the world. And I noticed that one of your lessons was give yourself grace.

How did that translate into how you lead others?

Keri Smith: the people that I work with probably have a list of notes of the phrases that Keri says all the time. One of those, yeah, one of those is. Say more about that. If anybody I don't wanna make the assumption that I know what it is they mean, what it is they're feeling, what all the details of that scenario that's happening to them, what all is going on.

Say more about this or that, or walk me through. What that situation has been like. And what are you feeling Like It's those, it's taking those same kind of approach with questions to dig deeper with other people. And you just said it like there's always something going on with everybody. We, big, small, and it's not necessarily my job to determine whether or not I think your thing is a big deal or not. At the end of the day, it's big for you. And that's what matters. And that's where I think I'm, I try and put the grace in of that doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but it clearly is a big deal for somebody else. And I need to give them [00:39:00] the grace to, to deal with that in the way they need to, not how I think they should.

Alexa Beavers: I love it. And it sounds like also something that your friend gave you, when you were in those conversations, she didn't judge. She didn't say that doesn't seem like a big deal. She said, tell me more about that. What was, what's happening for you? What value does that touch? As you think about these huge lessons, two opposing things can be true, give yourself grace, and you practice that at work. You talked a little bit about how you. Have built a reputation of asking great questions. 'cause now your team knows, Hey, Keri would say that. would Keri do? She would just tell more about that.

What are some other ways that this, really big life shaping experience has propelled you forward as a leader in your organization?

And so it is the family joke now. But I was the quieter one. I was, i'm the, probably you could say, the traditional middle child. So I was very much a peacemaker. I wanted everybody to be happy and so I, I gave a lot of other people props and didn't necessarily do that for myself. And through this journey I've learned.

I have a voice. That voice is important. I can do it in a way that feels comfortable and positive for me, and I can speak up. So again, it's that what sometimes feels like opposing things to me are okay. And

Alexa Beavers: to speak up and use your voice in a way that is consistent with your values. And it sounds like, if I remember back to some of the stories you were sharing, some of that means you might. Use a little bit more of your range and not always be the harmonizer. You might say, you know what?

Keri Smith: I've learned to add some language that, again, gets to that confidence and ability to speak up, but still stays true to the tone and the the space that I still wanna create in those kind of conversations. So it's crazy 'cause I think of how old I am and that I've got more confidence now than I ever had in my early twenties, which is, when you're ready to tackle the world.

And I'm like, Uhuh, I, I had to wait a little bit longer. But it the way the confidence I think comes across now has just lent itself very well to, me being able to take on larger roles and it, in all honesty, put me in the spot that I'm in right now. Yes, confidence. Love it.

Keri Smith: Absolutely on LinkedIn. I am out there and more than happy to connect and talk about any of the, this journey or, anything related to my career with anybody. I love a good conversation.

Alexa Beavers: I can tell and I love it too. I wanna ask you one more thing. So imagine, you were talking to somebody 20, 15 years earlier in their career and they're saying you, and you're like, oh yeah, she has confidence. Sure she does. She went through all that stuff. I don't wanna have to go through all of that stuff.

What's your advice to somebody to really put a final kind of pin or underline, what would you tell, have told yourself 15, 20 years earlier even?

I've really tried to stay, I'm trying to stay away from that should word. There's so many different avenues that you can take that I constantly talk about, gosh, I wish I knew a lot more and dug into really who I am, what I like, what I don't like, so I didn't go down certain paths.

And when you get that gut feeling in you. Just had this conversation with my daughter, don't dismiss it. It is telling you something. So to spend some time and don't bury it. 'cause it's some point, it's, it's gonna, it's gonna come back. So

Alexa Beavers: I hear, I like to share that emotions are data and that gut is telling you something. Doesn't mean you have to always think that's the only part of the story. It does have a little bit of something to tell you, and knowing yourself can help you to build kind of your path, even if it's different, especially if it's different because that's what is special about you.