Transcripts
check 1 2 well
Speaker:hello there boyfriend how are you this fine day
Speaker:I'm really good is it working
Speaker:yes excellent
Speaker:let's not talk shit
Speaker:I'm afraid to ask but I have a great question
Speaker:I don't even know what I was gonna say
Speaker:I'm so disturbed right now
Speaker:she's afraid to ask but Jamie
Speaker:Doctor Erica I'm gonna ask you a question
Speaker:I think I'm afraid to ask
Speaker:but I'm just gonna do it right out of the gate
Speaker:all right
Speaker:last night I feel like we have a very healthy sex life
Speaker:do you agree yeah
Speaker:last night we were about we were
Speaker:there might have been sex last night
Speaker:but we weren't sure right
Speaker:and then when the kitchen
Speaker:and I start talking about snoring
Speaker:cause I'm going through a thing where
Speaker:I'm trying to figure out like
Speaker:why snoring I'm trying all these different devices
Speaker:and then you said
Speaker:you said something like
Speaker:hey by the way
Speaker:everybody farts in their sleep and you know
Speaker:I hate fart I was like
Speaker:oh man and then you were like
Speaker:oh yeah cause your device would record it if you farted
Speaker:instead of snort that's what made you say it
Speaker:I thought it was kind of funny to hear that
Speaker:and then you go
Speaker:and when you die you're gonna shit yourself probably
Speaker:yeah so I was wondering
Speaker:yeah is that the same as saying hey
Speaker:let's not have sex tonight
Speaker:was that why you told me that
Speaker:stuff no it was just like a fun fact okay
Speaker:well I worked for both
Speaker:I was talking about how like when you're asleep
Speaker:you can't control yourself
Speaker:so people often will be like
Speaker:I never fart around my partner
Speaker:but you fart at night
Speaker:cause you have a relaxation of your anal sphincter
Speaker:so it just happens
Speaker:don't say anything and then when you die
Speaker:a lot of people have that same relaxation
Speaker:because they don't have any muscle tone immediately
Speaker:so they will defecate
Speaker:that's the only time
Speaker:sleeping is the only time where I relax my sphincter
Speaker:all other times I'm on the I'm on high alert
Speaker:even hearing heterosexual sex I'm like
Speaker:let's keep our hands to ourselves high alert
Speaker:do you know that's the thing sometimes
Speaker:no continue that one
Speaker:there's this new thing going around
Speaker:the kids are trying it where you got to be careful
Speaker:sometimes a woman
Speaker:will start to head towards that area of your body
Speaker:and um
Speaker:I've had I kind of
Speaker:have had somebody kind of go in that direction
Speaker:I had to go hey
Speaker:hey hey hey hey no means no okay
Speaker:that's when um
Speaker:that's the that's the precise moment
Speaker:I stopped letting my anus ever relax
Speaker:was that moment
Speaker:does that surprise you
Speaker:I just have so many different drays
Speaker:I could go with this
Speaker:and I don't know what one I wanna take
Speaker:how far she get
Speaker:not far it's like um
Speaker:like halfway behind the ball sack
Speaker:she's headed that it was circling the drain eww
Speaker:kind of like eww wait
Speaker:you mean like your buttholes a drain
Speaker:yes all I was thinking like your penis was a drain
Speaker:like the pipe
Speaker:and she was like going around it like circumnavigating
Speaker:I apologize maybe not a great metaphor
Speaker:is that where they came up with the ringer
Speaker:ring job rim job
Speaker:rim job I don't I'm not 100% sure what that is
Speaker:I just feel like now whenever you're talking to me go
Speaker:let's not let's not do that
Speaker:we have a lot of questions that we have to get to okay
Speaker:well usually at the beginning of the episode
Speaker:I like to ask you hey
Speaker:what direction should we go
Speaker:but this time I think I would like to around the ring
Speaker:choose for you
Speaker:would you mind that yeah
Speaker:yeah but make it like a good one
Speaker:a punch
Speaker:I have a question coming in straight to the face from
Speaker:about a colonoscopy
Speaker:not the punch I wanted
Speaker:we've covered colonoscopies right
Speaker:yeah kind of a lot extensively
Speaker:what else you want me
Speaker:you talked about assholes today already
Speaker:is this like your theme was a good Segway
Speaker:I would not ask you this question
Speaker:if it wasn't something we did not cover
Speaker:last time we talked about me getting colonoscopy
Speaker:pre and post colonoscopy
Speaker:this question I have not heard before
Speaker:and I did not have this experience
Speaker:it's a very specific question
Speaker:I don't know if you can really answer this
Speaker:it doesn't I don't know if this is a medical question
Speaker:I'm gonna play this here we go
Speaker:hi Jamie and Doctor Erica my name is Mark
Speaker:I live in Valencia California
Speaker:so here's what happened to me
Speaker:I got done with my colonoscopy
Speaker:I'm in the recovery room I'm groggy
Speaker:I'm just waking up so I'm sort of half and half up
Speaker:I felt very bloated I felt very gassy and I released
Speaker:I farted and it was so long
Speaker:it was it was so long that I knew
Speaker:no one would believe me
Speaker:when I told them how long it was
Speaker:and matter of fact when it's done I go did that happen
Speaker:I go or did I dream that
Speaker:and it was it couldn't even also know
Speaker:and wait a minute I think I have another one luckily
Speaker:I had brought my cell phone with me
Speaker:so I grabbed it and I you know
Speaker:had enough consciousness to sort of hit record
Speaker:I recorded the second one it was 24 seconds long haha
Speaker:that one was a fraction of how long
Speaker:well over a minute
Speaker:I guess my question is impressive possible
Speaker:where did the air come from
Speaker:and why don't they give you a heads up beforehand
Speaker:if this is normal so that you're not freaked out
Speaker:I thought you were gonna say he actually recorded it
Speaker:was gonna let us hear his 24 second fart
Speaker:I would have enjoyed that well
Speaker:did part of you and you heard that think oh
Speaker:that's not that's fake
Speaker:did any part of you think that's not real
Speaker:I don't know about 24 seconds
Speaker:cause I did when I heard it
Speaker:I go that's not real
Speaker:do you have it what are your what are your opinion on
Speaker:um
Speaker:is that a common thing I feel like yeah
Speaker:you have to fart before you leave like they make you
Speaker:well it depends not everyone does this anymore
Speaker:but oftentimes
Speaker:they'll insufflate your colon and your intestines
Speaker:that's what air inside to like
Speaker:help see if the visualization is like impaired
Speaker:you know that's why I relax my you know
Speaker:cause I'm afraid someone's gonna inflate
Speaker:so save my colon
Speaker:so I keep it like you're calling by the way
Speaker:it's this is a true question ah
Speaker:it's not a common practice for everybody now
Speaker:so like you didn't have that
Speaker:so no air was like pushed inside of you
Speaker:so they didn't say hey
Speaker:try to like
Speaker:get your bowels moving and try to push it out oh
Speaker:but yeah oftentimes if you have a lot of air put in
Speaker:you have a lot of air come out
Speaker:what I'm saying to you is though this is not fake
Speaker:no I don't think so
Speaker:that's why I didn't I I was on like
Speaker:I don't like fake questions on podcast no
Speaker:that's real absolutely
Speaker:I've heard I've heard long farts
Speaker:I haven't
Speaker:I haven't timed this for a second or but I did
Speaker:I wasn't gonna play
Speaker:cause I actually thought it was a bit
Speaker:so I I message this person and I go
Speaker:you know what we I go I really don't like
Speaker:I just heard a podcast
Speaker:where the question was so faking
Speaker:it infuriated me and so I go
Speaker:I'm not trying to say you're lying and I go
Speaker:but are you doing a bit are you whatever and I go
Speaker:you said you recorded it with your phone and they go oh
Speaker:do you want it do you want it
Speaker:no you don't what I was joking yeah
Speaker:so I go what do you mean you still have it
Speaker:because it's on the front page of my phone
Speaker:no that okay ready
Speaker:no I was so
Speaker:24 seconds
Speaker:I don't think that was 24 seconds
Speaker:he was 24 and it sounded like a balloon
Speaker:you're now questioning the validity of this person's
Speaker:yes oh wow
Speaker:it's a real fart how do you know that
Speaker:it's not over there
Speaker:do you wanna know the ash truth yeah
Speaker:one second you know
Speaker:my favorite thing is
Speaker:the fact that I'm laughing so hard
Speaker:and you're so unamused
Speaker:I think that that's all of men versus women
Speaker:that that struck me so funny
Speaker:I actually know that it's real
Speaker:because I heard this story before
Speaker:we had a podcast
Speaker:and so first not to hear the to hear the fart
Speaker:I guess it doesn't amuse me
Speaker:I don't know that's weird right
Speaker:I'm I
Speaker:I'm not saying I'm I don't know which position
Speaker:but I can't not laugh when there's a 24 second fart
Speaker:it's impossible but you were like
Speaker:I think it's a guy woman thing
Speaker:hmm
Speaker:anyway I
Speaker:I don't know I think also
Speaker:I'm used to like performing surgery and afterwards
Speaker:not letting patients go
Speaker:until they've had a bowel movement
Speaker:or past gas because oftentimes
Speaker:the medicines we give cause constipation
Speaker:especially opiates for pain control
Speaker:so after surgery
Speaker:you wanna make sure that the gut motility is there
Speaker:before you discharge someone
Speaker:so they don't go home and have a bowel obstruction
Speaker:so a lot of times I'm like
Speaker:hey you can get out of here soon as you fucking fart
Speaker:and it's totally serious yeah
Speaker:so like it's a
Speaker:it's a thing and then someone will fart and you're like
Speaker:yeah it's like a genuinely like
Speaker:so I don't know can I miss something to you
Speaker:I didn't even care about that medical question
Speaker:I want to play the fart noise
Speaker:oh you have a fart
Speaker:but you had a great answer
Speaker:so I'm glad we did it
Speaker:well sounds don't bother me
Speaker:smells sometimes bother me
Speaker:what's your word I don't even want to talk about this
Speaker:because I have a gag reflex for mine
Speaker:so I don't even want to talk about this
Speaker:but what's your your doctor
Speaker:I assume you're you are like
Speaker:maybe more used to body fluids
Speaker:and smells than other people might be
Speaker:do you have one thing where it's like I can't Melena
Speaker:Melina really Obama's wife
Speaker:no Trump's wife
Speaker:well first of all
Speaker:if you're gonna
Speaker:like dog presidential or something for the name
Speaker:first Lady maybe get them right
Speaker:Meloma seems like a combination of Michelle Obama
Speaker:seemed like a quick way to say her name
Speaker:no way to try to recover
Speaker:what is that
Speaker:so it's digested blood for an upper GI bleed
Speaker:so say you're bleeding in your esophagus
Speaker:your stomach your upper intestine
Speaker:your body will break down the blood and the heme
Speaker:the the actual molecules and components of the blood
Speaker:when they break down actually turn black and Tori
Speaker:so you poop out it looks like black tar
Speaker:it's that sticky and it smells terrible
Speaker:and I've seen it in the pool
Speaker:like it came out of a patient
Speaker:and it was just like a huge bucket of black tarri poop
Speaker:and it smells really bad and it's awful
Speaker:cause that patient ended up passing shortly thereafter
Speaker:so like it's not a joke like when you have it that bad
Speaker:it's a big deal
Speaker:I got a shit like that rose like I think this is it
Speaker:I think it's interesting that like
Speaker:stuff doesn't faze me right
Speaker:like if you eat beets
Speaker:like I eat beets a lot in our smoothies when we got
Speaker:right my pee is like blood
Speaker:my poop is like bloody and I always like
Speaker:oh fuck oh yeah
Speaker:we just had a blue yeah
Speaker:I know I know it's sexy right
Speaker:but it's like bloody
Speaker:I think it's interesting like Pepto Bismol did
Speaker:you know makes your poop black
Speaker:I never take and your tongue too
Speaker:so people like oh shit
Speaker:I have black stools like what do I do
Speaker:but it's not the same it's like this black
Speaker:it's like tar sticky um
Speaker:we urine do you know we call when Coca Cola urine
Speaker:it actually looks like Coke
Speaker:your pee looks that color for a certain disease process
Speaker:so anyway so that's the worst smell
Speaker:you're the winner I won't know anyone to say mine
Speaker:that's why the fart noises in face
Speaker:because I don't smell anything
Speaker:what are you gonna do I'm hearing something
Speaker:I mean first it was
Speaker:it was real yeah
Speaker:it was 100% real
Speaker:and think about we had audio that first one
Speaker:that would be pretty cool
Speaker:I'm more so impressed that from the sedation
Speaker:he was able to have think enough to record his fart
Speaker:yeah that's something
Speaker:this is the kind of guy that does
Speaker:that does not surprise me that he was able to do that
Speaker:but yeah I agree with you he had this
Speaker:um do that the next time like well
Speaker:if I ever meet this friend
Speaker:that's all I'm just like fart
Speaker:fart fart
Speaker:fart fart I'm just
Speaker:gonna like look at his face and just hear that
Speaker:you meet this friend
Speaker:you meet this friend and he will convince you
Speaker:you'll totally believe him um
Speaker:I I have my grossest thing is
Speaker:I don't know what I don't like the grossest smell
Speaker:it's my no that's my worst like throw up thing
Speaker:I don't I wanna move on quickly if that's okay cause no
Speaker:I kind of wanna do this I almost vomit when just do it
Speaker:if there's a child
Speaker:and there's any kind of ingesting or something
Speaker:it's the it's the grossest most disgusting thing
Speaker:ingesting like eating a butter
Speaker:oh oh oh oh
Speaker:I also like pimple videos or
Speaker:but that's way above it for me I think it's the most
Speaker:disgusting you're not dry heating right now
Speaker:I didn't dry heat but I definitely had a literally
Speaker:can we play a game of like
Speaker:I tell you the grossest dream I have
Speaker:and we see how many you can get through yeah
Speaker:we'll see how many
Speaker:how to get rid of as many lessons as we can
Speaker:as fast as we can by grossing everyone out right
Speaker:I won't tell you one you ready
Speaker:shit okay
Speaker:if you don't want to we don't have to okay
Speaker:I'll do one don't puke on my bedroom
Speaker:but I can't even handle the okay
Speaker:God all right
Speaker:have you um
Speaker:since you talked about snot
Speaker:I'm gonna start with that one
Speaker:I can't have you ever I can't
Speaker:have you heard of something called a nose Frida
Speaker:I can't do it a nose Frida do you know what that is
Speaker:it's for babies
Speaker:I have I do know what it is haha
Speaker:I can't do it and I know you're gonna say no no
Speaker:let me do it let me do it I already know the story
Speaker:let me do it my ex I'm gonna throw up my let me do it
Speaker:please
Speaker:and and I I just watching it happen was so haha
Speaker:so disgusting and I know I know what your story is
Speaker:I can already tell what it's gonna be let me do it God
Speaker:I won't listen alright
Speaker:so it's for people who don't know what it is
Speaker:it's a long tube with a suction thing on your mouth
Speaker:for one side and a little sponge filter
Speaker:and then you tick
Speaker:stick the tube into the infant's nose and you suck to
Speaker:to get all that snot do a disclaimer
Speaker:if anybody's not wanna hear the story
Speaker:it'll be 45 seconds I don't even think it's that gross
Speaker:so to get the snot out of the baby
Speaker:cause babies can't blow their nose
Speaker:so when they're really congested
Speaker:you wanna clear it all out
Speaker:cause then it won't drain
Speaker:and cause issues with it going down
Speaker:and having them cough it up
Speaker:so you are supposed to suck snot
Speaker:I know with your mouth out of a baby's nose right
Speaker:so I got really good at it
Speaker:I was like babysitting and I was like rushing
Speaker:so what you do is you take nasal saline
Speaker:like salt water spray you squirt it up the baby's nose
Speaker:so it makes the snot even slipperier
Speaker:and slimier and easier to come out
Speaker:and then you stick the nozzle in
Speaker:and then you put the other side in your mouth
Speaker:and you suck at all the snot
Speaker:and you see in the clear tube coming up
Speaker:the problem is I forgot the filter
Speaker:so I sucked as hard as I could
Speaker:and all of the baby snot went straight up into my mouth
Speaker:you're fine that's the whole story you did great
Speaker:it's the gross thing I've ever heard
Speaker:you know what the problem with that story is
Speaker:but you did great you didn't even drive
Speaker:I'm never gonna forget it
Speaker:that's a good that's a very gross story
Speaker:holy shit
Speaker:you should better than you gave yourself credit for
Speaker:okay I did plug my ears at the end
Speaker:but I think I know how it ended
Speaker:I saw where you were going hey
Speaker:we have a new feature I'm afraid to ask are you mad
Speaker:no no no
Speaker:I'm not mad I almost dropped though
Speaker:you did drive but you
Speaker:that was when you were telling the story
Speaker:when I told one you did fine
Speaker:good job you could be a doctor um
Speaker:do you know we have this new feature on afraid to
Speaker:ask where people can it's called Speak Pipe
Speaker:which people can leave us messages
Speaker:that's a terrible name speak pipe
Speaker:speak pipe like speak into the pipe
Speaker:I think so speak pipe
Speaker:and people can leave us messages on social media
Speaker:um on our Twitter Instagram
Speaker:you're not even looking at me
Speaker:I feel like your eyes are still watering haha
Speaker:I'm really it really fucked me up a little bit ah
Speaker:but I am looking at messages
Speaker:people have left us on speak by oh
Speaker:you don't have to apologize
Speaker:I think I'm maybe in the minority here on snot
Speaker:or speakpipe snot oh okay
Speaker:well let's move on
Speaker:because I feel badly that I made you feel sick
Speaker:these pimple videos have millions of views
Speaker:and that to me is the most disgusting
Speaker:I was working with an actress once in a television show
Speaker:that everyone would know who she was
Speaker:beautiful woman
Speaker:and during my stomach does here hurt during in makeup
Speaker:she would watch pimple videos the whole time
Speaker:she was obsessed with it
Speaker:there was like some Mr Pimple or something
Speaker:Doctor Pimple Popper it's like Doctor Squish
Speaker:but Sandra Lee pimples
Speaker:I get my eyebrows done the same place as her
Speaker:she's awesome I watch her videos
Speaker:I have a couple and I'm in the minor
Speaker:you know what's interesting
Speaker:one of the best videos I ever did on TikTok
Speaker:that got like I don't know
Speaker:4 million or so views yeah
Speaker:so thought he'd get ton
Speaker:but it got enough was pimple popping one
Speaker:and the thing fucking explodes
Speaker:like 10 feet up in the air
Speaker:not my personal oh
Speaker:a reaction uh huh
Speaker:I fucking hate TikTok
Speaker:Erica post on TikTok
Speaker:like I'm gonna get 2 million views real quick
Speaker:I post a video that got millions of views on Instagram
Speaker:and Tik Toks
Speaker:like you watched it as you were uploading it
Speaker:no it's the first person that watched it
Speaker:well
Speaker:that's what I think is interesting
Speaker:is social media is kind of like a wash
Speaker:who knows when someone's gonna like something or not
Speaker:like the dumbest videos go viral
Speaker:and like
Speaker:really interesting videos has barely any views
Speaker:sometimes that's true
Speaker:so here's what I thought I would ask you
Speaker:I have um
Speaker:some of these speakpipe questions
Speaker:and there's some that I listen to them
Speaker:and then a couple of them came in just now
Speaker:and so I don't know what they are
Speaker:and so would you like to wish we just go random to the
Speaker:to the phones are these filtered at all
Speaker:no
Speaker:this would be I would just play it like it say anything
Speaker:fuck it are you worried about that now
Speaker:you got me worried about it
Speaker:let's just see what happens
Speaker:if you haven't listened to it yeah
Speaker:you just played me an audible real farts apparently
Speaker:all right
Speaker:we'll just go to the we'll go to we'll go to speak pipe
Speaker:here's the first one Doctor Erica
Speaker:should
Speaker:all broke losers date doctors for free health care
Speaker:maybe we should get a screener
Speaker:should we hire up did you know that was coming
Speaker:no I didn't fucking know that was coming I should be
Speaker:what the fuck
Speaker:I do have health insurance right now
Speaker:maybe we should rephrase it that you're my Guinea pig
Speaker:maybe I'm still learning on your body
Speaker:can I ask you a question what
Speaker:that hurt my feelings a tiny bit that man's message
Speaker:do you think true people are just joking
Speaker:or do you think he they're trying to hurt my feelings
Speaker:you think he's just joking right
Speaker:do you think
Speaker:that person probably likes me and he's like
Speaker:oh that Jamie has a good sense of humor
Speaker:and then I took take it too seriously
Speaker:he's probably my like a fan or something right
Speaker:I think so
Speaker:you always talk about being a broke loser on TV
Speaker:I do feel like you set yourself up for it
Speaker:great point excellent point
Speaker:and the fact that everything you said was true
Speaker:no and I think it's funny cause it's not true
Speaker:my apologies
Speaker:right now Writers Guild cause I wrote the animal too
Speaker:huh cause when I when I do regular comedy
Speaker:I don't get health insurance
Speaker:but if you write a script
Speaker:and you make a certain amount of money
Speaker:you get this incredible insurance
Speaker:and because we wrote the animal to last year
Speaker:actually have pretty incredible insurance
Speaker:well then I guess I'll date you okay
Speaker:all right maybe should we
Speaker:do you want to go to another one
Speaker:I don't know what to do
Speaker:let's um
Speaker:alright let's see if there's
Speaker:you know I thought it was funny though
Speaker:cause it's not true if it was remotely true
Speaker:I would be like what the fuck
Speaker:you're right it's cause I do say that on TV
Speaker:of course people are gonna make jokes
Speaker:did I not just say to you like if I say something like
Speaker:oh it's cause you have a little dick
Speaker:it's like a funny
Speaker:like there's no way it's a true insult
Speaker:if you had like
Speaker:insecurities about the size of your penis
Speaker:or I honestly thought your penis was small yeah
Speaker:that's not something I would say
Speaker:I hear what you're saying
Speaker:so I think this is the same thing where it's like
Speaker:oh you're a broke loser
Speaker:ha ha ha not I don't know
Speaker:maybe something that actually is personal and true
Speaker:that hurt your feelings so I don't think that one's bad
Speaker:I'm an oversensitive motherfucker
Speaker:I think people are just gonna come at us
Speaker:so if that's the worst thing they say said by us
Speaker:you mean me
Speaker:the I'm waiting Gutfeld by the way
Speaker:that's why he makes jokes about my children
Speaker:only
Speaker:because he knows that we do have a good relationship
Speaker:if we had a bad relationship
Speaker:me and my kids he would never yeah
Speaker:ever seem like that that's what I mean yeah right okay
Speaker:should we do another one I'm fucking scared now
Speaker:are we ready
Speaker:hi Jamie Doctor Erica
Speaker:this is David and Miami
Speaker:once again with yet another question um
Speaker:doesn't matter how much I sleep
Speaker:people are constantly telling me that I look tired uh
Speaker:I do have a one year old
Speaker:and some nights I sleep 4 hours
Speaker:some nights I sleep 9 hours if she lets me
Speaker:and I'm always getting the same comments from
Speaker:from people so what do you recommend
Speaker:what's the right how much sleep should I be getting
Speaker:should I get a pillow and mattress and face new friends
Speaker:I would love to hear what you guys think
Speaker:thank you as always
Speaker:you know it's funny I hate to say this
Speaker:what I feel bad for this guy
Speaker:because this happens to me all the time
Speaker:what happens to you all the time
Speaker:people tell me I look tired
Speaker:so I feel bad for this man and you know what
Speaker:hmm fucking sounds tired
Speaker:did he sound tired I went to the airport yesterday
Speaker:and they asked me if I wanted to check the bags
Speaker:under my eyes
Speaker:I get this all the time is there a genetic
Speaker:is this a genetic thing
Speaker:or is there something you can do about this
Speaker:cause I really do I would all the time people are like
Speaker:oh did you just wake up and sure
Speaker:I carry a teddy bear and a blankie
Speaker:you're fucking bombing right now
Speaker:I am I am
Speaker:you're the only audience and it's not good
Speaker:it's not good
Speaker:what do you what do you say to this man
Speaker:he's got a one year old yeah
Speaker:so that's the first thing
Speaker:okay so actually
Speaker:did you know that the most
Speaker:um no
Speaker:I think not just all of it
Speaker:well you might know okay
Speaker:cause you actually said genetics
Speaker:so I think you're right uh
Speaker:on track the most predisposing factor
Speaker:that leads to dark circles under the eyes
Speaker:most common thing associated with acting career
Speaker:uh no
Speaker:it's uh your ethnicity really
Speaker:yeah it's the melanin production
Speaker:in the way that
Speaker:certain people's genetics play into a factor
Speaker:regardless of other external forces
Speaker:so depending on your ethnicity
Speaker:you might have a predisposition to darker under eye
Speaker:circle or something
Speaker:I might have some dark under eye sir melanin
Speaker:so like the basically the production of pigment
Speaker:okay so if I have darker skin
Speaker:wouldn't they be less noticeable if I had
Speaker:it can concentrate in that area
Speaker:sleep though is a factor
Speaker:so if this guy says he's a 1 year old yeah
Speaker:he's not sleeping a lot
Speaker:but he said some days I sleep a lot
Speaker:some days I don't sleep a lot
Speaker:so
Speaker:it doesn't make me think that he's not sleeping well
Speaker:all the time um
Speaker:so I would say it might be ethnicity
Speaker:I don't know I don't know who this guy is
Speaker:but can I ask you one question
Speaker:what do you do um
Speaker:I always heard just to give a little more advice
Speaker:I always heard sleep in the baby sleeps right
Speaker:that's what people say unless your baby doesn't sleep
Speaker:unless you be able
Speaker:but they say like the minute falls asleep
Speaker:I would I did that like when I had kids
Speaker:we I'd sleep in the baby sleep
Speaker:I would when he would suck a nipple I would go
Speaker:let's do this right just to stand the same
Speaker:what's the next one
Speaker:tough crowd today okay
Speaker:other reasons for looking tired
Speaker:well if you don't get a lot of sleep
Speaker:you don't get a lot of oxygenation in return
Speaker:if you're snoring or you're only sleeping a few hours
Speaker:your body is overexerted so your uh
Speaker:you can be dehydrated which can cause it
Speaker:or actually can cause your blood vessels to dilate
Speaker:with less oxygen received to the body overnight
Speaker:if you're not sleeping a lot
Speaker:so it believe it or not
Speaker:puffs up your blood vessels deoxygenated blood is dark
Speaker:right
Speaker:when you see blood that's like bright red versus blue
Speaker:well dark
Speaker:deoxygenated blood is the color you're looking for
Speaker:and it can go underneath your eyes
Speaker:so if it's dilated
Speaker:it's darker you know what's interesting
Speaker:since we talk about buttholes
Speaker:you know how people treat bags under their eyes
Speaker:wait that's your hint
Speaker:don't tell me there's the thing
Speaker:I really want to know the link you're saying
Speaker:how do people treat
Speaker:is your dog going fucking crazy
Speaker:or is that a different dog
Speaker:that's not my dog crazy um
Speaker:I don't know if they can hear that
Speaker:um oh
Speaker:let me check
Speaker:oh yeah okay
Speaker:well we live in
Speaker:I got a dog don't fucking nuts
Speaker:um can I have a real chance at this
Speaker:yeah I just gave you the hint
Speaker:so go for it so bags under your eyes
Speaker:I just said vasodilation and buttholes
Speaker:is it because you can't sleep
Speaker:because there's a fucking dog won't shut the fuck up
Speaker:could be I don't know what just made me think of that
Speaker:um
Speaker:could it be
Speaker:treatment under your eye
Speaker:I'm immediately thinking it's some sort of
Speaker:I put a little like like a face mask type of thing
Speaker:but it's constant there
Speaker:I just set it on there on the outside of it
Speaker:like some kind of ointment
Speaker:but I don't know what that has to do with my butthole
Speaker:I give up what is it
Speaker:well yeah
Speaker:like so you know how
Speaker:like some under eye patches have like caffeine in them
Speaker:yes or green tea
Speaker:because
Speaker:it's supposed to vasoconstrict in a certain way
Speaker:that's why caffeine helps with headache sometimes
Speaker:cause those blood vessels dilate
Speaker:the caffeine like from coffee squeezes them down
Speaker:well same thing here
Speaker:same concept you got that dilated blood vessel
Speaker:the darker the puffier the uh
Speaker:hemorrhoid cream oh damn it
Speaker:that sounds familiar
Speaker:topical hemorrhoid cream constricts the hemorrhoid
Speaker:brings down the swelling in your anus
Speaker:same thing brings down the swelling here
Speaker:you be careful you don't wanna get that in your eyes
Speaker:but you do wanna put them around
Speaker:so that's one option nice tip
Speaker:you know how you go to the store sometimes
Speaker:and you turn me onto this
Speaker:and it is so surprising to me
Speaker:that sometimes there will be a medicine one
Speaker:one that I thought on over the counter
Speaker:like a unison or something
Speaker:hmm that sometimes has the same oh
Speaker:I noticed it with um like an antifungal
Speaker:one will be like toenail fungus destroyer
Speaker:and then the other one will say
Speaker:rash prevention is the same fucking thing
Speaker:same thing do they
Speaker:they should do a hemorrhoid thing where they go hey
Speaker:under eye
Speaker:do you know what I mean
Speaker:cause I have trouble putting something on my face
Speaker:if there's a picture of
Speaker:like a hot guy with his ass showing on the
Speaker:on the packaging
Speaker:we think he just have like 2 chocolate starfishes
Speaker:right here yeah
Speaker:that's all I'm saying with the same ingredients as um
Speaker:hemorrhoid cream
Speaker:what's your favorite amount of
Speaker:I know this is super
Speaker:it's just it's mostly opinion I guess
Speaker:but maybe not what do you think
Speaker:like how much sleep at night
Speaker:are you an 8 hour night person
Speaker:what do you personally do
Speaker:well the medical guidelines
Speaker:currently recommend 7 to 8 hours overnight
Speaker:but that's also good quality
Speaker:minimally interrupted sleep
Speaker:so you wanna reduce things like frequent urination
Speaker:nocturia can be a big problem
Speaker:if you're going four or five times a night
Speaker:so make sure your prostits okay
Speaker:uh sleep apnea
Speaker:snoring a lot people sometimes sleep 10 hours
Speaker:but they feel like they've slept one
Speaker:it's not restorative
Speaker:this day feels like an answer slash personal attack
Speaker:um restless legs
Speaker:so tossing and turning a lot of times
Speaker:people actually have a condition where they can't sit
Speaker:still
Speaker:that's usually associated with iron deficiency anemia
Speaker:so not always iron deficiency
Speaker:maybe not anemia so getting that checked
Speaker:and then having a supplementation
Speaker:there's a lot of reasons
Speaker:people don't sleep well overnight
Speaker:um but yeah
Speaker:our goal is seven to eight hours
Speaker:so you're saying he he might be in my page
Speaker:and I think he might just look like that
Speaker:there's nothing you can do
Speaker:or especially if he's getting the proper nice sleep
Speaker:but he has a one year old
Speaker:so maybe that's
Speaker:maybe that's the answer to the question right there
Speaker:well
Speaker:whenever someone says I'm having a hard time sleeping
Speaker:I'm like okay
Speaker:are you having a hard time falling asleep
Speaker:or staying asleep
Speaker:cause there's other ideologies for each one anxiety
Speaker:depression can do it um
Speaker:excessive caffeine use obviously stimulants problems
Speaker:alcohol you know
Speaker:we know that alcohol is a depressant
Speaker:it makes you fall asleep usually
Speaker:easier but then you wake up and you feel like shit
Speaker:after a few hours so then you
Speaker:then you get woken up because you pissed the bed
Speaker:you changing the sheets now I'm wide awake
Speaker:why did you say you oh just one 1 has pissed the bed
Speaker:just in the in the example
Speaker:I think that's a good answer oh
Speaker:thank you haha
Speaker:I do I think that's a really good answer
Speaker:but I feel like sometimes I sleep drinking 12 hours
Speaker:and still look like I just woke up
Speaker:so I don't know what to do about that
Speaker:I think it's because of the apnea from the snoring
Speaker:and uh
Speaker:you're also not getting really good REM quality sleep
Speaker:if you wake up a lot
Speaker:you don't go back into that restoration
Speaker:with a rapid eye movement that your body needs um
Speaker:your adrenal glands their little
Speaker:tiny glands that sit on top of your kidneys
Speaker:they put they spit out cortisol right
Speaker:that's that fight or flight hormone
Speaker:ideally we like you to go to bed around like 10 or 11
Speaker:because the early morning hours
Speaker:between like 2 and 4
Speaker:is when those adrenal glands tend to kick in more
Speaker:and if you don't fall asleep
Speaker:and give your body enough time to chill
Speaker:it's like working overtime
Speaker:so those glands are like well
Speaker:fuck you pew pew pew
Speaker:and then you're just like
Speaker:like that fighter flight hormone
Speaker:and you've got all the stress
Speaker:hormone in your body and that causes truncal
Speaker:obesity and irritation and mood changes
Speaker:and it fucks with your level of energy and exhaustion
Speaker:I do feel like honey future episode
Speaker:I don't know if I'm ready for this right now
Speaker:or if you are um
Speaker:but I feel like we should get into snoring
Speaker:at some point because maybe not now
Speaker:only because I'm doing like
Speaker:I'm doing like an experiment
Speaker:oh study of one sample size 1 me
Speaker:cause this really bothers me and I mean
Speaker:not kidding
Speaker:it's embarrassing you talk about now there's no well
Speaker:I just thought we are kind of almost up against time
Speaker:but um I think we should talk about sleep though
Speaker:cause we should
Speaker:there's there's so many options for the snoring thing
Speaker:and I just paid I did a mouth tape thing
Speaker:I did a breathe right strip
Speaker:and I bought this thing that was $350
Speaker:called a Smart Nora where it moves your head around
Speaker:it hears you it like hears you snoring
Speaker:and moves your head before you start to snore
Speaker:and my
Speaker:and I have a app called Snore Lab that I pay for
Speaker:that retracts my sleep
Speaker:and in the 3 days since I bought this expensive thing
Speaker:it's been the worst snoring I've ever had
Speaker:in my whole life yeah
Speaker:you're also sick I'm also sick
Speaker:you're congested and I think that's why
Speaker:so that's why I thought maybe study a slut
Speaker:the studies flawed yeah
Speaker:it's not a double blinded trial
Speaker:I mean we have to kind of reduce that expectation
Speaker:true and start over 1
Speaker:it is hard to figure to learn anything
Speaker:well hey
Speaker:I think we should talk about that in the future then
Speaker:cause I get questions about sleep all day long
Speaker:for patients all right
Speaker:we table to sleep talk and then would you like me to oh
Speaker:play one more yes
Speaker:random call is it random or is another fart
Speaker:no this is not a
Speaker:this is not a um
Speaker:cause you said that was random
Speaker:not pre planned hmm
Speaker:do you know cause I'm kind of sick
Speaker:I can't
Speaker:my words are coming like a tiny bit slower than normal
Speaker:like I don't know if I sound fucked up
Speaker:you don't sound fucked up
Speaker:okay so I had an idea
Speaker:because we do have to wrap up this episode
Speaker:what if I play a clip of a question and then we go
Speaker:let's do it next time okay
Speaker:but this is truly random oh
Speaker:like I'm not commenting I'm just listening
Speaker:and then you're well
Speaker:we'll cut we'll try not leaving them hanging
Speaker:yeah if it's a good question
Speaker:maybe you give a teaser you go like oh
Speaker:we'll talk about this and then we'll jump off into it
Speaker:next time just play one random one sure
Speaker:let's see if I'm entertained or unamused okay
Speaker:someone I've been talking to for over a year
Speaker:tells me that he's Jamie
Speaker:he tells me he loves me and he wants to marry me
Speaker:but then I see this one time
Speaker:that you're supposed to be his
Speaker:smarter half
Speaker:do you two have a relationship
Speaker:I really need to know if it's really him or scam
Speaker:okay
Speaker:I did not know that was gonna play that
Speaker:um
Speaker:let's let's wrap up let's wrap up
Speaker:we'll get rid of this who the fuck is she
Speaker:coming up on the next episode of afraid to ask
Speaker:you know I think
Speaker:it's really interesting
Speaker:about how we always make the safe choices right
Speaker:Brine Brown talked about something like that
Speaker:where you're in the arena etitude
Speaker:well what does that look like
Speaker:I love that lady
Speaker:so she talked about the arena and how like
Speaker:if you wanna make stuff happen
Speaker:and you're comfortable
Speaker:just sitting in an arena and watching
Speaker:nothing's gonna happen
Speaker:you have to be the fucking gladiator
Speaker:that's fucking scared shitless
Speaker:in the faces of everybody else
Speaker:that makes those tough decisions
Speaker:that nobody else wants to
Speaker:or you're never gonna get the spotlight
Speaker:you're never gonna get them for you
Speaker:never gonna get what you want
Speaker:so if you're too scared to fucking do it fine
Speaker:you're gonna take this apron
Speaker:your life's gonna make mine
Speaker:but you have to be fucking terrified
Speaker:to make those choices
Speaker:that take those exceptional people and propel them
Speaker:otherwise you're just another spectator
