Author, speaker, and above all, father, Chris Cochran, shares the equally tragic and uplifting story of his son Christian and how he's carrying on his son's legacy through the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund, the way acceptance leads to gratitude, why to make To-Love lists instead of To-Do lists, and the one universal thing we all deal with.

Welcome to Let's Talk Legacy. I'm your host, Gary

Michels, and today we're really excited to have Christopher

Cochran on. Chris is an author, a speaker, and above all, a

father. As the founder of the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund,

he works to carry on his son's legacy, promoting Christians,

humility, kindness, joy, gratitude, self, sacrifice,

selflessness, courage and unconditional love for all. And

I really believe we're gonna learn a lot more about his son

and a lot more about Chris and next little time we have here

together. And so welcome to the show, Chris.

Thank you, Gary, it's a pleasure to be here. Love

your show.

Thank you. So let's start right there. Tell us

a little bit about Christian what type of a man was he? What

was he like? What kind of effect did he have on others around

him? Tell us a little bit about your son.

Wow. How much time do you have?

Listen,Christian was the most amazing, remarkable. There's no

earthly terms and earthly words I can come up with to describe

Christian to the full extent. Right? He had deep love for his

fellow man and woman and all people, all cultures, all

religions, all everything. In the end, of course, he's my son.

I love him dearly. I tend to speak to him as he is in the

presence. But Christian was an amazing individual, just from

the day he was born to the moment he took his last breath.

And I was with him at both events. Since he was a child, he

was so compassionate for others. It was an unusual trait. Even

before 13 months, he was speaking in full sentences,

which was pretty unusual. I knew this kid was destined for

something special. He had this incredible ability to see the

goodness in everything. Even when he was little, he was a

very we called him Mr. Comforter all the time, because he could

comfort us. Even as adults, he could make us feel good. He did

that for other children. I remember the first day of school

getting on the bus. You know, kids clamor they want to get on

the bus, and we get the best seat they want to be in,

whatever with their best friend Christian, was always making

sure he was the last person on the bus, because he wanted

everyone to be happy, to have what they wanted on that bus.

And as a young adult, he was incredibly talented, the prom

king in school, a big school here in Pennsylvania, I'm in

Pittsburgh, he was the lead actor in every drama. He was in

every play and every musical. And he had been in a movie and a

Batman movie. He was kind of on track to do the things he wanted

he was going to head to, like graduate from college, and he

felt a pain in his back. We had just come back from a vacation

out in Vegas, Christmas in 2020, and we had a beautiful time as a

family, and this pain just came up and just thought it was

normally. I was a healthy, young, good looking boy.

Eventually the pain became so so bad that we had a blood test.

Told to go see a CT scan. This was during covid, so I was asked

to go meet at the doctor's office. Six people came in white

coats. Their faces were covered with masks. I could only see

their eyes, but I knew at that moment, I kept reassuring

Christian as we arrived, it's going to be okay. Things gonna

be fine. We'll be back to our regular life. And they

immediately came in and said, Christian, you have a grapefruit

size tumor on your liver at this time, we didn't know exactly

what it was at that moment, what kind of cancer, bile duct

cancer, it's a less than 1% chance of of living. You're

lucky if you live six months. So Christian was given a terminal

diagnosis. I remember as parents, we were heartbroken,

and we said we're so sorry, Christian that you have to deal

with this. He said, It's okay. I would never want this on anyone

else. I want this to be my burden. He said, I am so

grateful to you guys. He He never complained one time.

Moment he got his diagnosis to the day he took his last breath.

He never complained one time. All we cared about was everyone

else around him and how the lead a good life for the remainder of

his life. That's why the title of the book is, what's good

about today is because when we would cry and we would say, you

know how horrible this was for us and him and the family, he

would say, No, what's good about today? And it was his daily

reminder about all the good, all the beauty you can find in a

day. Even in the worst of circumstances, when things are

not going your way, you can find nuggets of goodness and beauty

in every single day. So it was, you know, obviously a tough day,

a tough year, a tough every day, but through all that, that's

where we found the the strength of Christian, you know, he, he

exemplified this incredible strength and goodness that to

me, yeah, I had to, that's why I had to tell the story, believe

it or not, the Foundation came up prior to Christian's death,

because I knew he was going to pass.

Was it Christian that came to you and said, Dad,

I want to start a foundation?

So, yeah, Christian, prior to Christian's

passing, we had, you know, these are conversations as a father,

you don't want to have with your 22 year old son, but we would

talk, but Christian was very conscious of it all, and would

say, you know, Dad, how are we going to take care of, you know,

those who are less fortunate? Christian was big into how to

help others, so he said, it'd be great if we could, you. Know,

build something to help those in areas where there's poverty

areas things that Christian cared about his legacy, and it

was called the Christian Cochrane legacy fund through the

Pittsburgh Foundation, was built based on Christian's ideals of

where he wanted to help people. It was, you know, low income

areas, the kids who were struggling in school. We get to

Animal Resources. We give to parks and natural resources.

There's all kinds of camps we give to. It was Christian's

idea. Christian came to us with that idea and said, you know,

this is what I'd like to do. We do a tremendous amount of work

in something called Yasu with young adult survivors united.

That's where a lot of the effort goes in to help those young

adults who are stricken with cancer. It's an underserved

area, but those young adults who are really just they came out of

their their shell, they're ready to take on the world, none of

the sudden, they get hit with this. And what I found is that

those individuals have less resources, right? They're no

longer attached to their parents, they're on their own.

They don't have the money Christian would give to

everybody. So, you know, we would, we only have so many

resources that we can give to but you know, we're also

implementing what's good about today in lesson plans, which I

think, to me, is extraordinary in terms of the Legacy Fund. And

what we're trying to do is to help spread how kids can come in

in the morning. You know, what's good about today? They write

down what's good about their today. At the end of the day,

they erase that next day, they start over. But it allows

teachers to identify those kids who are having problems in their

day and those who are doing you know really well. But it also

gives kids an idea of what you know look there is lots of

bright things in the day.

What did you learn from from the time you do that

diagnosis he was able to live what? What did you learn from

that, that you could share with others?

I learned mostly that it's about giving all of

yourself to others, right? I I always say there's kind of this

pre cancer Chris, and there's kind of after cancer. Chris, I

don't even identify with the guy pre cancer. My mind was in a

different mindset. It was all gold related to achieve. Keep up

with the Joneses, all those crazy, wacky things in this

world we have to deal with. But I think what it taught me is to

reflect. It taught me. Christian taught me how to pause. Pausing

is so important. The stillness of life can really help you

refocus your energy. Help you refocus how you approach

everyone. Can help you, how you react to someone. It's truly

remarkable. That's how Christian lived it. Christian never

stopped living nothing stopped. He got a full time job. We knew

what we were up against, but Christian wanted to serve a an

example to everyone. Now he did it for, I think, four months

before his body started to take a toll on him. He loved the idea

that we could venture into areas to try to solve this problem for

others, right? He was part of his journey. We always say, make

someone laugh, someone happy, make someone smile. Christian

was always about those three things.

The main mission of the Christian Cochran Legacy

Fund, is it is it specific to the underserved in this space,

or is it all different causes? Does it change? Is it a moving

target?

I think it's a moving target. So we don't focus

on any one specific thing. It's it. Sometimes it just comes to

us. A lot of the things that we do come to us because they know

the story. They hear the story of Christian so it happens if I

do podcasts or writing the book. Our mission is truly about

getting that language out what's good about today? I believe

that, out of every person, could simply wake up in the day, the

end of the day, and say, what's good about today, and really

take the time for yourself and think that out and realize that

the sun's on my face. I'm able to take a long walk, but can't

take a long walk. I interacted with my son, my daughter, my

wife or a friend. There are so many things on their day that

are good, they far outweigh the bad. And so I think that's just

a mind shift. You know, the interesting thing is, Christian

had he didn't have to do list. He had to love list. And he kept

those that's, that's how he managed his his life, and who

you love. I think that's a lot all the way of the the

foundation is set up too, is we're not, they're not so much

to do's. They're all about to loves. And how do we put more

love out there to places and help?

Well, Attitude of Gratitude is so huge. How do you

use your gratitude for everything you've learned? How

can others try to look at the glass of water half full?

There's no simple answer to that. One, life is

difficult. It's hard. I do a couple things. Here's where I

found a useful tool for me when I was going through those

difficult times, there's a couple things I came to accept.

One is, I can't control my circumstances in life, right?

I'm not in control of that. People think they're in control.

They're really not that in control, right? So Christian's

passing and what he had to go through, and what we learned,

and for me, what I learned is I can't control that, but I.

Practically, yes, gratitude is great. How do we put that in

practice? And so that's why, you know, the book is, of course,

what's good about today, a purpose driven life. The book,

in the many ways, is a roadmap to how to lead a purposely

driven life. I'm still trying to lead that purposely driven life,

but I think once we live with acceptance, we strive for

optimism. Remain humble, even in the face of despair. We are

lunging forward. We are actually moving to better ground. I think

when you check on others, you nurture others, other human

connections, stay living mindfully all the time. And I

think a big thing is, strive for empathy. You know, honor your

connections, show love, open your heart. Christian knowledge

used to say to me, most of all, don't take life too seriously.

And so there's plenty of things, I think. The other thing

negative thoughts come into our brain all the time. I'm sure

they do for you too. And I, and I still have those things. I

have flashbacks to these particular moments, whether it

was at the end of Christian's life, all kinds of different

things in between which he was surrounded by his loved ones in

his house together. I karate chop those things. I karate chop

everything that comes into my head that puts me in a place

that's negativity. That's the point of finding purpose too,

right? It's, it's we're all seeking to find purpose in this

life, right? Some of us haven't found it yet. We're, you know,

we're on that, that constant marigold will of just trying to

make things happen and so. But I think pausing is important,

because pausing really allows me, really, to meet life with

grace and see beyond pain and find gratitude in the present.

That's space you can you can genuinely find really, really

great things. I can get down, but I get back up really fast.

So, you know, I think it's, it's a matter of pushing yourself

through these things and understanding, of course, to

have be grateful, of course, but pausing to understand in your

daily life.

For sure. And I just wanted to spend a little

time on that gratitude stuff, because that sounds like so much

where your head's at and who Christian was. You know, our

show, everything's about legacy, and legacy is such an important

thing. What does legacy mean to you?

Legacy means love. It means the love you want

to continue to put out into the world. So I hope you know that I

can continue to do what I'm doing, so that I could leave a

legacy. I think leading by example is is part of a legacy

fulfilled because I've switched gears, right? I'm a corporate

CEO. I sit on the board for a public company. I'm busy on that

side. But does it really bring me passion? What brings me the

most passion is to build build legacies, where it's filled with

love and the gratitude, right? And so I think creating random

acts of kindness, whether it's to strangers, loved ones,

that's, I think, what legacy is all about.

The Pay It Forward, stuff, all those little

things that giving without even needing to be acknowledged for

giving. Right?

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, I think

that's the greatest form of giving, right? The greatest form

of giving is to give without asking for anything in return. A

lot of times. You know, when I first got started in the Legacy

Fund and Christian Cocker Legacy Fund and all this stuff, I was

just wanting to bring awareness. Now, this awareness has done

amazing things, right? I have people down in Tennessee. I had

people in Florida that heard the story and said, Can you get me?

You know, we have wristbands that say, what's good about

today, we have stickers, things like that the way, I just get

them. And I want people to have them, you know, I want them to

constantly be reminded of and they go to festivals and they

set up stands on their own. I'm not even a part of this. So

there's people who, who, who are doing things with that message

on their own, which is great. I'm all for it. So to me, that's

all part of the legacy it's about and it's to build a

legacy. You got to connect the dots. You got to connect the

dots to other human beings. Because without connecting to

humans, you're not going to be able to to generate the

opportunities to talk to more people talk about the good

things you can do. So I think legacy, to me, is just that

spreading the message love. Love is first and foremost, how do

you extend that love to so many and share goodness, and how they

can share goodness as well?

What are some of your partners in the fund, and

how can listeners get involved?

Sure, so I partner with Yasu, which is

young adults, survivors united. It's Yasu is, for short, the

fund is through the, like I said, Christian Cochran Legacy

Fund, through the Pittsburgh foundation, you can find all

kinds of you can probably Google Christian Cochran, and you'll

get all kinds of information on my son. And there's Christian

cochrane.org which talks about, of course, Christian the Legacy

Fund, the foundation. It talks about Christian and talks about

all the goodness that. We're doing events that we're involved

in, where we sponsor, where we try to get out and see the

community. So to me, we're still in the grass. You know,

Christian just passed away three years ago, so it's still very

raw, in a way, you're still just trying to get her name out there

to do the good works. And certainly, if your audience, if

there's anyone, thinks that this will be a good message,

certainly reach out to me, and you can do that personally,

anytime, anytime.

So, a lot of this that we talked about today is

covered in in your new book. What's good about today, Purpose

Driven Life, inspired by Christain Cochran. Tell us a

little bit more about the book, and specifically about how you

came up with that title.

The book was something that I started about a

year and a half ago, and when I say started, it's sort of

putting my head together. I was just coming out of one year

being with Christians passing, and I'm a writer. I like to

write, not necessarily. I'm a great writer, per se, but I

write a lot of journaling. I'm a journaler. So I during the

course of Christians sickness, every day I sat and I journaled

and I wrote what I was feeling, good thoughts, bad thoughts. It

was a way for me to escape many times these were going on

between midnight and four o'clock in the morning. I didn't

think I slept much during that first year at all, and it was

just this whirlwind of trying, of course, to save Christian's

life, first and foremost, because I learned so much in

that process of RNAs and DNAs and sequencings and how to, you

know, figure out how we can solve this, this terrible

cancer. It literally went back to about a year and a half ago,

taking those journals, compiling them, reviewing them, which was

not a fun task for me, because it was bringing back everything

to life, how I felt during those times. But I knew I had to do

it. I knew that it was important to bring purpose to Christian's

passing. And then I decided to tell a story. And there's people

have asked me. They said, What's your book about? What's this all

about? Is it your son die in a kiss? No, no, see, this is a

book of love. It is a love story. That's what this book is

about. Is about telling people that, yes, it's you can be

resilient. One universal thing that we all deal with is grief.

It's universal. We're all going to experience it. We're all

going to be one day at those those moments in our life. But

it really is, how do you navigate life so that you know

you can, you can come out on the other side, and, you know,

leading this purposely driven life? So the book has just been

a cathartic process, and ultimately, following the

guidelines of Christian. I didn't write this book.

Christian is always the star. He always was the star. I always

think of myself in the background, kind of just

painting a picture and looking at things. And so I tell the

story that's inspired by Christian as how he solved the

world. I think that's how I envisioned writing the book.

That's how I wanted people to see it, but I certainly wanted

them to come away with hope, gratitude and a lot of love.

I love it. I love it. If someone wants to get

involved in your organization, what would they do, and how

would they contact you?

So they didn't get in contact with me two ways.

There's Christiancochran.org and then there's

ChrisCochranspeaks.com that's me, and you can find all my

information there. You can find the book there. Certainly, if

anybody needs more information, they can get it there. For sure.

Awesome. Well, I really appreciate your time

today. What you're doing in memory of your son and to help

others touches my heart.

Thank you, Gary. Thank you to you and your staff.

You guys are amazing, privileged, and this is honestly

what's good about today. So I am very blessed. I'm very thankful

for the opportunity to speak to you. Really am.

All of you guys. I'll just leave it at this. Make

it a great day. What's good about today?