In this episode of the Real Life Real Kitchen podcast, host Zoë Willis speaks with Carly Church, founder of We've Got Your Mama https://wegotyoumama.com/, about her journey from the entertainment industry to creating a supportive community for mothers. Carly shares her insights on the importance of maternal mental health, the loneliness epidemic among new parents, and the need for supportive systems.

They discuss the challenges mothers face, the significance of community, and the role of technology in parenting. Carly emphasizes the importance of financial literacy for mothers and the need for flexible work models to support families. The conversation highlights the necessity of empowering mothers to set boundaries and advocate for their needs, ultimately aiming to create a more supportive environment for mothers everywhere.

Welcome to the Real Life. Real Kitchen Podcast with your host, Zoë F. Willis, English mother-of-many, Mum Mentor, and your host at this weekly gathering of real talk, real food, and real family life.

Each week I sit down with someone whose work nourishes minds, bodies, or communities. From the kitchen table to the wider world, these are the quiet voices making a loud difference.

👤 About Carly Church

Carly Church is a mother of three, former entertainment industry professional, and the founder of We Got You Mama—a growing platform, podcast, and movement dedicated to supporting mothers through pregnancy, postpartum, and every stage beyond. She is also the author of We Got You Mama: The No-Nonsense, Expert-Packed Guide to Going from Surviving to Thriving, the firstof what will be a series designed to help mothers feel supported, informed, and empowered during one of the most vulnerable seasons of their lives.

Known for her refreshingly honest voice, sharp humor, and deep empathy, Carly brings both lived experience and thought leadership to conversations around maternal mental health, postpartum wellness, and the systemic gaps that leave so many mothers unsupported. After navigating anxiety, depression, and years of undiagnosed ADHD, she experienced firsthand how motherhood can both crack you open—and reveal how little infrastructure exists to truly care for moms. That realization sparked the creation of We Got You Mama, where Carly now builds expert collaborations, books, retreats, and tools that help women build their village and move from survival mode into sustainable thriving.

As a speaker and guest, Carly is equal parts insightful and hilarious, blending storytelling, research, and real talk to spark connection, relief, and meaningful change.

Free Resource

Now You Know What to Do List - https://wegotyoumama.com/

When a baby arrives, everyone wants to help — but most people don’t actually know how to help in a way that truly supports mom.

The Now You Know What to Do List is a beautifully designed, easy-to-share printable that takes the guesswork out of showing up. It offers clear, practical, and compassionate ways friends, family, and loved ones can provide real support — the kind that actually makes a difference.

From meals and errands to emotional check-ins and household help, this list turns good intentions into meaningful action. And truthfully? These reminders are welcomed at every age and stage of motherhood, not just the newborn days. Because support shouldn’t be awkward. And moms shouldn’t have to ask for what they need.

🌐 Where to Find Carly Church

• Website: https://wegotyoumama.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/we.got.you.mama/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@WeGotYouMama
• Email: carly@wegotyoumama.com

🧰 Links & Resources Mentioned

📝 Command the Chaos – The Mum Life Management Planner

https://realliferealkitchen.com/mum-life-management-planner/

💌 Join The Kitchen Correspondence – my weekly letter with episodes, reflections & family food wisdom

https://realliferealkitchen.myflodesk.com/socials

☕ Support the Show – help keep the kettle on and the podcast going

https://the-real-life-real-kitchen.captivate.fm/support

❤️ Share the Love

If this episode made you nod, laugh, or breathe a little deeper — please:

• Follow or subscribe to the show
• Leave a short review (it really helps!)
• Share this episode with a fellow mum who might be quietly asking the same questions

🌍 Where Else You Can Find Me

• 📸 Instagram – @realliferealkitchen
• 👩‍👧‍👦 Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/realliferealkitchen
• ▶️ YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/@Realliferealkitchen
• 🏡 Website – www.realliferealkitchen.com

Takeaways

• Carly Church transitioned from the entertainment industry to support mothers.
• Maternal mental health is a critical issue that needs more attention.
• Community support is essential for mothers navigating postpartum challenges.
• Loneliness is a significant factor affecting new parents' mental health.
• The current systems often fail to support mothers adequately.
• Advocating for maternal mental health can save lives.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for mothers' well-being.
• Financial literacy is important for mothers to manage their resources effectively.
• Technology can be a valuable tool in supporting motherhood.
• Creating a supportive environment for mothers benefits society as a whole.

OK, hello everybody and welcome to the Real Life Real Kitchen podcast.

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And today I've got the wonderful Carly Church all the way from California.

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Carly Church is the founder of the website We've Got Your Mama dot com and she herself is

a mother of three, former entertainment industry professional and the founder of this

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wonderful website.

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It's actually more than a website.

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It's an increasingly growing platform with a podcast element to it.

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And it's a movement dedicated to supporting mothers through pregnancy, postpartum, and

really every stage beyond.

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She's also the author of We Got You Mama, the no-nonsense expert packed guide to going

from surviving to thriving.

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I mean, I could have done with that first time round.

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The first of what will be a series designed to help mothers feel supported, informed, and

empowered.

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during one of the most vulnerable seasons of their lives.

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She's known for her refreshingly honest voice, sharp humour and intensely deep empathy.

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She brings both lived experience and thought leadership to conversations around maternal

mental health, which is a huge topic.

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That in itself, Carly, is a massive topic.

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Also the postpartum wellness and the systemic gaps that leave so many mothers unsupported.

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She herself navigated anxiety, depression and years of undiagnosed ADHD.

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So she's experienced firsthand her motherhood can both crack you open and reveal how

little infrastructure exists to truly care for mums.

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That realization sparked the creation of We've Got You Momma where Carly now builds expert

collaborations.

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I mean, really it's a village in many ways, books, retreats and tools that help women

build this village and move from survival mode into sustainable living.

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She's also a speaker and a guest and she's equal parts insightful and hilarious, blending

storytelling research and real talk to spark connection, relief and meaningful change.

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I mean, this is just fantastic.

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And I think with so many women of our generation as well, we've gone through transitions,

starting one career and never imagining we'd end up where we are.

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really embracing motherhood and supporting other women.

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Carly, could you give me a uh sort of bit of a rundown how you've gone from, well, how you

became model, actress, and then you've ended up here creating this fantastic online

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platform and village.

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Oh man, I mean, it's been, I think 25 years plus in the entertainment industry.

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um it's not the loveliest place to be in and reside in for your entire life.

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And so when things really started shifting, I launched, uh I owned a Fit for Mom

franchise, which is mommy and baby workouts, postpartum workouts, wellness programs.

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And I did that and I coached I trained uh women and really people came for the workout,

but they stayed for the community, right?

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And that's what is needed, I think in every niche, in every business, in every group.

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um Even in my modeling and acting years, um I relied on my village of fellow students in

my acting classes, right?

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I felt like it was important to always stay up.

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um on your craft and to be a real artist, continue studying and learning.

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And so, you know, at that time I relied on, you know, the people in my class to learn

from.

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And now after having three kids and, I don't know, being put through the wringer, as they

say, I found that there was a lot of things I didn't know and a lot of things I would have

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known.

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And then I basically, you know, through this other company I owned and learning from the

moms and connecting them to experts and to each other, I was like, this needs to be my

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mission, really, here on out to do that and use my expertise from the entertainment

industry to speak on stages, to use my voice.

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It's a comfortable space for me already.

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And uh

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The more research I do, the more writing I do, um the heavier it can feel sometimes,

right?

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Learning all the stats and all the things, but yeah.

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like quite a, would it be fair to say, a privilege and a responsibility because you are

aware that we have gifts, so yours is the acting and also the public speaking and the

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responsibility to impart the information in a supportive and encouraging way.

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Because all the other mums are losing the plot.

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Charging around in the cars with the activities or they're you know, breastfeeding the

baby and they've got a new thing happening They haven't got the headspace for it And so it

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is this Yeah,

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And I can look back with a clear lens and see, oh my gosh, especially after interviewing

75 plus experts writing my book.

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I'm like, my gosh, that was me.

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That's what was wrong with my kid.

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Do you mean this could have been avoided if it was handled, supported correctly?

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You know what I mean?

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The amount of time and, and, um and just emotion that could have been spared.

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early postpartum especially um is kind of insane when I think back.

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And it's like, well, the more you know, and it's like, okay, I need to, basically my book

and the things I talk about is like everything I wish I would have known.

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Here you go.

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Let me sit you down and tell you, listen, this is how it's like, I tell in the beginning

of my book, like I sat my best friend down.

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who had a baby three days after me and she thought I was gonna like show her what happened

down there, flash her my throbbing boobs and I was like, no, no, uh I'm in this back room,

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I'm three days postpartum, you're having a baby tomorrow, we are due at the same time and

I was like, this is what no one told me, no mother, no sister, no aunt, no, no one told me

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what went down.

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delivering a baby, what was to be expected, what happens afterwards, what happens two days

afterwards.

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And I was, again, three days postpartum.

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And I saved her, I don't know, oh this shock, right, of all the things that can happen.

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And not to horrify anyone, just to inform so you can feel empowered just by knowing what

could happen to your nipples, to your boobs, what can happen down there.

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And if no one ever really told you, just like flat out told you in a serious and humorous

way, like you wouldn't have to go into shock.

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Yeah, yeah, I remember, I mean, I was on child number two, but there was an Australian

lady I know, and the Australians can be quite, uh how should we say, colourful with their

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language and their description.

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I'm married to one, so I'm well aware.

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And I remember her saying, yes, Audrey, have a baby.

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And then the milk comes in, you get the breasty dumplings.

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And I went, oh, yeah, that's actually, yeah.

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That's kind of...

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But it was this kind of raw grittiness.

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But as you say, humorous because we need the humor makes it so much easier to kind of take

on board.

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and absorb, it really is.

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If it's too serious, if it's too kind of, this is what happens, here's the clinical blah,

blah, what's going to go on.

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You can't cope, it's just too much.

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But that kind of humour, the storytelling element of it as well, is really, really

powerful.

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Now, I've got a...

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way to combine science and humor and storytelling, you know what I mean?

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To really help moms feel educated, right?

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I just want to educate more more moms.

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Yeah, yeah, exactly.

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I think there's it's been very interesting.

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I think we were talking just before the podcast began about sort of the silences, the how

is it that people that mums don't know before you have your first baby, there's like this

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silence around you say, you know, I've got these plans.

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I've got to when I have a baby, I'm going to be prime minister, it'll be fine.

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And those with babies around you will be like, oh

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That sounds great.

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And then when you have the baby and you say maybe not Prime Minister, they go, thank

goodness.

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But what do you think has happened?

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Why do you think there are this kind of silences around the grittiness, the power, the

practical realities of having a baby and becoming a mum?

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What are these silences?

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I think we're kind of in this age now where we're expected to do it all with a smile on

our face and, know, breastfeed like a goddess and, you know, make everything happen around

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us just as seamlessly as we did before we had kids.

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And that's not the reality of it.

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And we don't talk about um just the mental health crisis that...

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Is happening and is on the up and up right like one in five mothers experience postpartum

anxiety or depression?

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uh One in I think four experienced miscarriages.

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I didn't know that stat I blout Blabbed to the world I was pregnant and then I had a

miscarriage and I had another one and I was like no one told me how common it was Until

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you say I had one of those never was like yeah me too me too me too and it's like I had

postpartum anxiety.

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It's like yeah me too or me too or then

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Another mom is there and she's like, I think that's what I'm experiencing now, right?

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It's just a matter of talking about it more.

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And we were, I mean, the human race, we're meant to be like born and bred into villages,

right?

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That's how it was back in the beginning, the aunts and the moms and the uncles, like

everyone helped out.

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uh You might even have other people feeding, nursing your baby, right?

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All family and friends.

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these villages and our minds, our bodies were actually, humans were meant to be brought up

in this sort of environment, not this, know, stress out mom that's still bleeding out, has

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to go back to work in six weeks.

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And, you know, when we're going even like know our neighbors half the time, especially in

LA.

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I don't know how it is worldwide.

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I know in certain smaller towns, it's like everyone knows everyone.

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Here, it's just like, there's so many millions of us.

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Like we don't even.

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get to know our neighbors anymore.

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like, shouldn't we, like at least for safety reasons, know who we're living next door to?

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And if we do, you can be that saving grace for that mom.

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And you come over and you deliver groceries and you, you know, don't even ask what's

needed, just do.

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You could just, you can literally, I mean, I have a, resource that says do all these

things for a postpartum mom, don't even think about it.

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But also like, I don't know, chat GPT, what can I do?

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for a postpartum mom that just got back from the hospital and not be too imposing.

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I guarantee you, it'll list you a plethora of things.

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So even if you can't think of it, there are resources out there, whether my site or lovely

chat GPT that can tell you how to be more supportive as a community member to lift up

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these moms.

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Because let's be honest, we run things.

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We run all the things.

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And if we're not supported,

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the world will fall apart and we can actually see that happening.

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Yeah, it's huge.

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It's huge.

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no, I was just going to say, I mean, I'm to come back to your point about the postpartum

anxiety and depression.

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I mean, I've got I've got a theory, I'm to throw it out at you.

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But it was from my own experience as well with my second child.

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um I remember hearing a documentary about what postpartum depression was.

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And I was experiencing that and I had a three year old.

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at that point, I was pregnant with my second child, we'd recently moved.

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And I suddenly went, oh my goodness.

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I know that with a lot of things there's going to be birth trauma and you have those

elements as well coming in.

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But I suddenly thought, is the postpartum anxiety and depression loneliness?

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Is that what's actually the huge...

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Yes, there's kind of the hormones and we have like the blue.

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What is it?

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Is it five, 10 days afterwards, you can have the kind of the hormonal crash and you get

the baby blues.

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But actually, it's a societal thing rather than necessarily purely medical and hormonal.

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Because so many women will have had their communities at work.

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And as you say, I mean, someone like Los Angeles, I mean, I've not been to Los Angeles in

20 years, but it's a lot of driving.

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It's not really kind of little

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communities where you can pop in and have a coffee and walk around.

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Is that sort of a fair kind of assessment of the urban space?

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Yeah.

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every little city is like so different from each other.

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And there are pockets of that, right?

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And there are pockets that are not of that.

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We're just like, it was probably not safe because it's so busy, right?

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And traffic-y.

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what's interesting is I was interviewed.

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I don't know.

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was a Fox News stream of a bunch of different

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bunch of different news interviews and it carried into a bunch of different radio

interviews because it was a topic of the Surgeon General just came out.

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The US Surgeon General just came out with a warning about how parenting is uh one of uh

the most, I don't know, it goes on about one of the most hardest and it's creating a lot

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of distress and mental.

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illness and he goes on to say that in the statistics in the studies show that 80 %

something like that don't quote me on it parents are lonely right so 80 % close to 80 %

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and that's men and women once they become parents are quite lonely in it um which is of

course that leads to a ton of other things and ton of other issues ah

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pull up the exact, because this is about a year ago, the exact quote, but it was like, I

said, oh, said, parenting is hazardous to your health.

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And it was like, oh, that's intense.

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Like, as a surgeon general, like, parenting is a hazard to your health.

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And I was like, that's kind of intense.

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But then you look into the research and you're like, well, it is because the system isn't

set up to support parents, right?

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No, no.

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child, I don't know how it is over there.

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know in a lot of countries, childcare costs are insane.

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You're expected to go back to work, but then your income basically just pays for

childcare.

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So you're just working to pay for childcare, but then you don't want to lose your job

because you can't advance in your career if you lose your job.

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So it's all of this.

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And so it's like, yeah, it becomes hazardous to our health.

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Our cortisol level, brain health level, we're lonely.

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we feel like we don't have the support we need.

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And when anyone feels like they don't have the support they need, whether it's in the

workplace or home life or parenting, like it causes massive loneliness for sure.

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Yeah, yeah, it's huge.

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And also the thing is with the loneliness, they're already so conscious of the effect that

has on elderly people.

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And if you've got a lonely old person, they're going to spiral, absolutely spiral.

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it's those, think it's Okinawa, one of these blue zones where you have these kind of

little old Japanese ladies and Japanese gentlemen who are like 125 and they're still kind

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of playing mahjong or whatever it is.

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but they've got community with every day go, hi, hi, how are you?

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Blah, blah, um And they're fine and buzzy.

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And that's the thing as well with us as moms.

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mean, again, it's so hard because coming back to your point about the village, women, we

do community, whereas the chaps, they're like, I'm focusing on a saber tooth tiger.

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Bob is next to me.

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We're focusing on a saber tooth tiger.

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They kind of communicate next to each other.

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Whereas

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women and coming back to your friends and instance your mum's in your fitness group.

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Yeah, the fitness was good, but it was kind of being in the group and the chatting and

being in a circle and talking to each other.

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em Having that is so very, important.

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But what's happening is we are taking that energy, which is so important to community

cohesion.

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And it's going into work.

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because that's where we spend our time.

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And then what happens is we have these lovely babies and we go, oh.

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and you're already running on empty and you've got to create a new community on top of

everything.

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And it's desperate.

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have to like be the contractor of village building.

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um that's kind of where I started with all this.

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And I was like, well, I've built villages for mothers and pulled in experts and connected

them to each other.

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And I really felt called to do that on a global scale.

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Like, what if I can connect moms in every stage to what they're needing at that moment,

you know?

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What if I can create some sort of research system, a mombot that can, you know, send them

to valid vetted information instead of Googling away and referring to, know, who knows

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what doctor from some research study that, you know, maybe crap, right?

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And so that's exactly what I'm building.

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Something that I wish I had more of, right?

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When I was raising my littles and something that's just

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Accessible right where you can go online and you can connect and you can reach out Pull

out some information Listen to your gut and follow it with some questions because I think

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we've come We've separated ourself a little bit from that right our instinct that motherly

instinct real and it's strong And I think we're inundated with so much information.

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We question ourselves.

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We compare ourselves

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And then we're just, then we become even more depressed and more anxious, right?

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Just really getting back to those gut instincts.

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And then if you have questions, like go to some, you know, someone you trust or some

vetted resources, right?

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I mean, and that's what I became um as this franchise owner was, well, ask Carly.

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Well, ask Carly, she knows.

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I'll ask Carly, she knows.

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And I was like, cool, I'm gathering this Rolo decks of people.

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And I loved referring them out to others that I knew and I trusted and I loved.

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um Because in some instances, it helped save their lives, it helped save their marriages,

helped pull them out of some postpartum depression and anxiety.

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man, um it's important, you know?

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It's important to...

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to be the contractor of your own village and to, if you don't want to and that's too much,

like I'm for hire.

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You know what I mean?

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Hire someone, tell them about your village.

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And I will, um because it's just, again, it's one more thing to do.

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And I talk a lot in my book also about getting your partners on board um with some very

specific information that you should know, that they should know, because you know,

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You're in it together for most people you're you know, you're with a partner And if you're

not and you're you're doing it as a single mother um there are Even more so you have to

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build that village build that village around you and boundaries right like know who to say

no to when it's just maybe Not the right fit, you know be okay to say goodbye to some of

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the things that just don't serve you anymore in motherhood that we're like maybe okay

before kiddos and

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And just being empowered to do that, you know, to protect your time and your energy.

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And cause we all know, so you're right.

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Like if mom's like out of it, checked out, angry, sad, all the things that affects the

entire family and that family goes out into the world being affected and then it affects

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your entire community.

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And so we have a bunch of moms that are not well.

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It's like shifting.

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entire communities and cities.

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um the, mean, I think what is driving me the most in this mission is that um maternal

mental health is the leading cause of um pregnancy related deaths after birth.

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um So the suicide rate for mothers early postpartum is as high as it's ever been.

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uh like the top causes of maternal mortality.

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It's like I can't, is in that first year postpartum.

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you know, it only takes, you know, talking to a couple of these dads and looking at some

of these babies that now don't have a mother anymore, that really, you know, lit a fire

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under my ass to be like, this is not, this is not okay.

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Even for women that are advocating for themselves.

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And when I say and the systems are broken, it's because some of these doctors aren't

referring out, right?

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If something's not working, there's one beautiful mother who was advocating for herself

and was going to the doctor and being like, this doesn't work, maybe I can try this.

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She really wanted to get well.

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She was a very outgoing, spunky person beforehand.

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Postpartum depression hit her hard.

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The doctor pretty much, he said, I'm gonna prescribe you some birth control, here you go,

because you should probably never do this again.

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and then she killed herself.

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I...

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wow.

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And I get teary and I get goose-like every time I tell that story.

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There's a, you know, and I mentioned the story in my book and the foundation that the

husband has started and, um you know, and it's this tiny, you know, tiny baby girl and her

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husband left when, and that was when she was advocating for herself.

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So I can only imagine someone who's lost in it that has no partner or...

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no maybe will, right, left to advocate for themselves like what's happening there.

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all the confidence because there is so much...

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I think a lot of women, we go through our lives of, I have to say yes to this and I have

to listen to this person and I should do that and I should do this.

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And boundaries are very hard.

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It's a skill that isn't taught.

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I find women in their late 40s and 50s are very good with it because they don't care

anymore.

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oh But it's something...

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that really, uh we need to be talking to younger women about this, about you don't have to

please everybody.

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can say, as you're saying, you can say no, or put limits on the amount of time you're

spending time with people, or listening to your gut and going, this isn't serving me,

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acknowledging the radiators and the drains, and having the voice to say,

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I need help.

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This is not right for me.

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I was talking to a midwife.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

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No, no, no, this isn't.

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Yeah, this isn't just me having a grumble.

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This is like I need some help.

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I was speaking to a midwife yesterday.

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I'm going to put the podcast up a bit later today and was asking her for kind of, you

know, tips on a good birth.

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And she was great.

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She had 35 years experience originally from Texas.

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So, you know, no nonsense had six babies herself.

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So, you know, she's brilliant.

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But she said, you know, coming back to the listening to that sense of yes or no, which is

so strong after you've had a baby.

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And she said it is the advocating for yourself if you get the wrong answer from somebody.

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So you go to a medical professional, obstetrician, even midwife, whoever, and they give

you something and they dismiss you.

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You keep looking for the right person until you are helped because your struggles,

physical, mental, everything, that is real.

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And coming back to your point as well, Carly, as mothers, we are foundational, not just

for our families, but civilization.

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civilization and it's, I know this sounds terrible, but there is, there is such a

different response to when.

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When children are left motherless, be it through death or the mother going, it's quite a

different response to when they are fatherless through death or the father leaves.

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It's really interesting.

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just, again, on that level as humans, we know it's wrong.

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It's wrong and how important the mother is hugely, hugely, hugely.

295

What I get I'm kind of coming back to the younger mums or not even the younger mums, but

the women in their sort of 20s.

296

I Don't know I almost feel that we sort of need to be having conversations with them

before they have the babies I Don't know because it's it's so hard

297

After you've had a baby processing all of this and going, my gosh, it really has changed.

298

How can we reach the women before they have the babies?

299

Have you got any thoughts?

300

key.

301

That's the key, right?

302

Is to, and I was on a news show recently, pre-selling my book, and she was like, who's

this book for?

303

And I was like, everybody, right?

304

The more people we inform on what uh mothers who are the foundation of what we need, the

better we can support them.

305

So I was like,

306

uncles, aunts, grandmas, grandpas, mothers, dads, brothers, sisters, cousins, the more I

mean, how many times have you read a book and you're like, Oh my gosh, my husband should

307

totally read this.

308

He never will be totally should write like, we should really have our partners be reading

and educating themselves on this sort of stuff.

309

Because then you have the random uncle that's like, Oh, my niece is pregnant, I should

refer to this or Oh, like,

310

The more we know, the more we can spread solid, good information to prepare these mothers

to, again, I'm all about not just surviving, but thriving.

311

um And so honestly, just the more people know how to support the women, how to support the

mothers around them, the better off we will be, right?

312

If you think about it.

313

um And if we can be more open once we have some of that information, you know?

314

Then this age of technology and how it can really bless and connect us, know, we're

connecting from across seas right now um is really huge.

315

And um so I really think it depends on everyone, everyone becoming more informed.

316

um So that like, so that the...

317

The bachelor doesn't have kids and has a guy friend that does and his wife is going

through stuff and he's like, I don't know what's happening.

318

He's like, oh my gosh, you know, my sister read this book and she told me about it.

319

And like your wife probably has postpartum, right?

320

We should be seeing bachelor to be educating dads potentially on some of these things

because that is possible.

321

You know what I mean?

322

It's possible just the more we talk about it, the more we inform about it, the more people

we can help.

323

be surprised.

324

You'd be surprised how like the most unexpected person, you know what I mean, could end up

saving a life just from the ripple effect.

325

Yeah, yeah.

326

You need to go on some quite blokey podcasts.

327

You need to be on the podcast where you've got a big gruff fella asking you questions and

then you're like, right, this is it.

328

This is the reality.

329

Boom.

330

uh Because that would be because the chaps are going to ask different questions as well to

the women.

331

So, um but yes, no, I think it's very much...

332

uh

333

It's such an important mission and having that honoring of the mother, the role of the

mother, the...

334

I mean, again, I'm to come back to sort of the history and the anthropology that we've

touched on.

335

You know, I can't remember which culture it is.

336

Maybe it's somewhere in South America.

337

But if the mothers died in childbirth, they had the same burial ritual as the warriors.

338

Mmm, wow.

339

This is this complete, this absolute acknowledgement of just, I don't want to say how hard

it is in a word is me, but you know, just like, this is it.

340

This is amazing.

341

This is incredible.

342

Yeah, yeah, good.

343

I that's downplayed a lot, you know, just the unpaid, the multi-trillion dollar unpaid

labor, right, of mothers.

344

It's society would not function without us.

345

I read something recently and talked about like, um why in history, you know, men have

succeeded.

346

and surpassed all these things like so much faster than women blah blah blah.

347

And it's like, well, we know a lot of the, you know, historical and then the restrictions

women had and all that sort of stuff.

348

and uh it was, it basically summed up like, well, the husband has a wife, the wife does

all these things for him and listed all the things that they do to support them.

349

um And if the roles are reversed, how much more successful women.

350

would be than men, right?

351

If we had someone taking care of da-da-da-da-da-da and supporting and lifting them up and

doing all the things and the household is, and yes, I understand like a lot of, especially

352

modern relationships, like men are meeting these women and they're really taking on the

tasks that they should have always been taking on and then things are shifting.

353

So I'm not going to stand here and bash on men, but.

354

with our history and with all um these systemic gaps, um they're not quite fully on board

because they're not fully informed, right?

355

um Even in the workplace, right?

356

Studies show that when a mother is supported in the workplace with the proper parental

leave, with the resources, with the things she needs, um their revenue grows.

357

These companies that really have it down,

358

You know, they have like childcare built in.

359

have um really great healthcare plans.

360

These companies are doing awesome.

361

So it is actually proven that when you support moms with all the things they need, your

company will actually do a lot better.

362

And yet, you know, women are going back to work, you know, six weeks later.

363

How, mean, you, I'm sorry, but like,

364

let's give a man major surgery and have all these symptoms postpartum and send them back

to work in six weeks and just see how things go.

365

Just to see how things play out.

366

um It would be such a fun time to see, right?

367

uh

368

it's such a contrast because again, historically, there would be this period called the

confinement after the woman has had a baby.

369

And it can be sort of six, eight, 12 weeks.

370

I mean, Jewish tradition as well, you have, I think it's six or eight weeks, you're

enclosed and then you have your ritual.

371

ritual cleansing and the mikvah as this real sort of moment you are, the bleeding has

stopped and you are starting to emerge.

372

In the meantime, you've been nourished so you can emerge and so you can look after the

little one.

373

I think your point about the big companies that have the childcare, so mum can...

374

pop down to see the little one at lunchtime or, you know, or I go to breastfeed at coffee

time, whatever it is, you have that flexibility.

375

And I have, again, anecdotally, those women I know who have gone back to work and have had

that kind of balance, that's where it's been successful.

376

But again, historically, women always worked, but it was in the domestic context.

377

So the man's out in the field going, doing all the manly things that he could die from

because it's backbreaking.

378

But the woman's at home spinning away because the yarn is going to contribute to the

household economy.

379

The weaving is going to contribute.

380

The bread baking is going to contribute.

381

All of this.

382

But you can pick it up and put it down because if you've got a small child who's like, I'm

going to run into the fire, can drop the drop spindle, save the child and then come back

383

to the drop spindle.

384

But you are still...

385

contributing and it was just a much more flexible way of doing that.

386

So these companies you're describing have a big element of that, that you can still have

this connection with the child, have the lunch with them and they know mummy's coming back

387

and you can still do the work.

388

think we need to in some ways rethink the working model for women who are of childbearing

age to have more of that flexibility.

389

Yeah, yeah, very important.

390

rat race, you know, where it's like a badge of honor when you've worked overtime and

you're making X amount of money, you know what I mean?

391

But it's, it's, it's ruining families, you know?

392

It's, it's really heartbreaking because I've sat down with mothers who are like, I would

like to go back to work.

393

I love working.

394

I love what I do.

395

but I really don't know if that's possible for me anymore with a baby.

396

And I'm like, man, these should not be problems that we're facing here in the US.

397

Like we're literally one of the worst countries, the worst in the world when it comes to

parental leave.

398

Why are we so unhealthy?

399

Well, there's a lot of things that we are.

400

might be a factor.

401

you want a mom can't properly bond with her baby and is forced back into the work field,

uh the workforce, that affects the baby for the rest of their life.

402

And so we're not really factoring in how this fast paced world that we're living in and

throwing these parents back into after babies, um how it's truly affecting these little

403

ones long term.

404

the most vulnerable.

405

having that nurturing support, right?

406

Or missing out on that nurturing support because mom couldn't find proper healthcare, you

know, and was not well for the first year of their life.

407

That has a tremendous impact as well.

408

um And so I've been working and talking a lot with parental leave experts that can get you

more more time.

409

but it's tricky, it's tricky within all the federal laws and depending on your work and

what kind of work and the state laws.

410

um But she's able to work her magic and get six, seven, eight months sometimes, ah which

is like, my gosh, huge, huge feeling to have that.

411

My friend from Canada, she just keeps having babies and I'm like, what the heck is this?

412

He goes back to work for a day and he's like, oh, I'm pregnant again.

413

And then that was the whole year off.

414

And then like, and I was like, I guess I would just keep popping out babies too if I got

paid leave for an entire year with every baby.

415

What?

416

It's like unheard of around here.

417

It shouldn't be.

418

I did, because I did spot that on your website that you had this specialist who was

specifically for finding the parental leave.

419

um But what I loved as well coming back to your website, yes, you've got the lady who is

not sleep counselor, but can help mums with the sleeplessness.

420

You've got kind of the nutrition side of things.

421

uh But you've also got the financial advisor.

422

And I went

423

huge.

424

is brilliant because we're always focusing on of in inverted commas the wellness, the

physical and the community.

425

But actually, coming back for example to those mums who let's say maybe they are committed

to work and they've gone, it's too much, but I can't afford to stop.

426

To have that kind of financial advice and have somebody from the outside come in and say,

right, your goal is to...

427

support the family and but not lose it completely either you or the children or your

husband and I can do that and I can help you.

428

I think that is just brilliant to have that as an extra element.

429

uh

430

just smart to know where you are and where you can go, right, with your finances.

431

There's so much that um just statistically the man in the relationship handles, right,

when they come setting up, whether it be insurance or, you know, what they're paying into.

432

uh And we're realizing this generation of older women

433

who are coming into massive millions, millions, millions, millions of dollars are going to

be transferred into these hands of these women.

434

And they don't know anything about anything.

435

They don't know where they're at.

436

They don't know where they stand.

437

They don't know after their husband dies who's the financial advisor.

438

I never met him, right?

439

uh Just take notes, sit down.

440

And if they're talking to you in a way you don't understand,

441

requests that they do or get someone else.

442

There are plenty of financial advisors out there be happy to work with you.

443

And so I work with a friend of mine who I trust and, and, you know, has sat me and my

husband down and just share the stuff that like, we just didn't even know as much research

444

as much things we have done to think that we know all the things.

445

It's their expertise.

446

So it just goes into like, sitting down with an expert to fill you in on stuff that like,

447

I mean, let's be honest, our brains are constantly going.

448

Do we need to be experts in all the things?

449

No, there are people who are experts in their field and they love it.

450

And so you get to go to them and ask questions and get answers so that you can feel safe

and feel protected.

451

She has story after story, like.

452

sitting down and people are like, I have insurance on her, but not on him or vice versa.

453

And you don't like to have those conversations because they're a little morbid about like

what happens if I die or you die.

454

uh But like, you need to have them because it's always a possibility.

455

And if you love your kiddos, don't you want to know what will happen to them if something

happens to you?

456

You want them handed over to the state and not your own mother or aunt?

457

Like that's what will happen if you don't have a plan in place.

458

Can you use your insurance as your own bank to take out loans and do different things?

459

You know, like, and we talk about, and what's interesting is often when men set these up,

they're like, that's plenty of money.

460

If she passes away and I have insurance, like that's plenty of money.

461

It's like, okay, let's sit down, honey.

462

And let's really discuss this unpaid labor.

463

that like you would now be over and it's like a two, it's calculated out to be like

$265,000 a year if you calculate all the things, even working stay at home, doesn't

464

matter, all the things that need to be taken care of.

465

the of the chef, the cost of the house cleaning, the cost of the personal assistant who's

keeping on tabs of all the activities in the social world.

466

It's yeah, it adds up.

467

It adds up.

468

able to, to like keep up on life, right?

469

With the, with the, with that much insurance that, know, if she's gone um anyway, so it's

just about, about being smart and informed and having your money work for you.

470

We work so hard for it.

471

You know what I mean?

472

You might as well have it work for you and then really have, um have options when you

retire, you have options if you're saving for college, saving for university, right?

473

have options, em people are kind doing it all wrong.

474

And there's ways that we can have options and then have them be tax free, which is really

cool.

475

Not everyone's going to college these days, right?

476

Some kids are inventing apps and making millions of dollars.

477

They're not going to college or they're choosing not to.

478

You want to be able to use that money.

479

for their life and for their endeavors or for a business venture if it's smart, right?

480

And sometimes these college savings, that's all they can be used for, right?

481

And so maybe, people paid into them and then there's like, well, if you're not gonna go to

college then, and there's other ways to do that.

482

And so I think it's really cool to have someone on your side when it comes to that kind of

stuff.

483

That's super smart.

484

mean, I'm going to be talking to a lady in January, February, Nicole Mitchell is her name,

and she's uh like a finance coach and her target are the women in the girlies, she calls

485

them in the 20s and early 30s and saying, Okay, let's let's get this together.

486

And she's also going to be talking

487

you're here, you're

488

Exactly, exactly.

489

Because once you've got that sense of this is how the money works, this is what I can do,

stewarding it, and you also have an idea of kind of investments, responsibilities of this

490

nature, when the babies come and you've got the husband beforehand, you're having those

conversations already.

491

uh I mean, have my poor husband, he's just minding his own business, living his life.

492

And what was it a couple of weeks ago, we're talking about how much information we

actually need to know and different people having different gifts, which I acknowledge

493

now, I'm happy to delegate.

494

So the windscreen wiper, the squirty wasn't working and I asked my husband to do it and he

said, yes, would you like me to show you?

495

And I went, no.

496

He said,

497

But what if I get hit by a bus?

498

Because that's the phrase we use.

499

That's the preamble to like a big, morbid conversation.

500

What if I get hit by a bus?

501

And I said, if you get hit by a bus, I have an 11 year old who loves all the building and

the twiddly things.

502

I said, he will watch a YouTube video and he will do it for the rest of my life.

503

So so I think my husband's a little bit deflated by that.

504

But I suppose my point coming, we've come full circle, actually.

505

It's taking a really

506

you know, grim morbid topic.

507

But then you say, well, what if I did get hit by a bus?

508

Who would do, who would fill the windscreen, squirty things?

509

Who's going to do the cleaning?

510

I figure it out.

511

Yeah.

512

yeah, yeah.

513

It's very true.

514

It's very true.

515

think, mean, Carly, I'm just so impressed with what you have created and I'm seeing, I'm

seeing in you, I'm seeing the connector, I'm seeing the community builder, but somebody

516

who's really leaning into their gifts and saying, this is something that I have been

privileged and I have this responsibility, I am.

517

giving this to the world to help others.

518

that's a powerful thing.

519

Such a powerful thing.

520

And this website and this kind of, it is the village.

521

You've got all the people in it who have their different skills.

522

You've got the grannies, you've got the auntie who's quite good with the money saying,

right, this is what you've got to do.

523

And you've brought it all together.

524

It's just fantastic.

525

And you have a podcast as well, don't you?

526

Yeah, yeah, my show is We Got You Mama.

527

You can find it on YouTube.

528

I'm gonna have Zoe on my show too.

529

And so you're gonna find her on there.

530

And um yeah, and it's interesting because when people are like, well, who are you looking

for on your show?

531

And I was like, well, okay, moms around the world and they basically need and would love

to be connected to anything that's gonna help them, right?

532

And so it's like,

533

It's a little bit of everything, right?

534

Which is really cool.

535

It's like, yeah, you can get into the brain health and the neuroscientists that we have on

there and you can get into finances and then can get onto, we spoke to you, Adula about

536

feeding and what that looks like in health and nutrition.

537

And we're also launching a whole mompreneur section that's gonna, for...

538

Entrepreneurs who are mothers and uh resources for them coaches for them information for

them um AI courses on how you know, can simplify our lives a little bit better Yeah Yeah,

539

like I mean I kind of had a mind-blowing conversation a couple days ago on my podcast it's

not released yet, but she's the co-ceo of a

540

E-Women's Network, is global and it's something I'm a part of.

541

And she's in the digital innovation side of the business.

542

And um she just talked about ways in which she uses it to lighten the load.

543

Like, hey, can you give me a workflow?

544

I'm setting up for this party.

545

I'm three days out and here's what it is and here's my expectations.

546

And it can just spit out.

547

a timetable workflow that works around your kid's nap, your work schedule, your pickup,

and the grocery store route you need to go to pick up the things you need to at the times

548

of day that are best to go do it.

549

I mean, can you talk about just releasing some of this mental load that we take on?

550

um It's a really, I think, awesome resource to help our moms, to help with scheduling, to

help with, again, just like these work.

551

flows, like if you don't need to uh access more brain power to, you know, consume and

learn some of these things, then don't do it.

552

Don't do it.

553

We're already exhausted.

554

So we need to outsource, right?

555

And learn the things that we need to and then grasp the things we need to from these

people, from this technology, and then take it with us um into our lives.

556

Yeah, take these tools and use them.

557

mean, I've got a freebie floating around on my website, which is the top three AI tools

for mums.

558

And it is things like this, kind of, I mean, all free that you can just use.

559

And it is like a, it's like a personal assistant in your pocket.

560

It comes out and it's brilliant.

561

It's brilliant.

562

afraid I know it seems very overwhelming this age in which, know, we're kind of living in

because, I came from no cell phones, no internet, right?

563

All the way through like where we are now and even having a conversation about it recently

with my daughter, she was like, so how was that?

564

Like no technology to like where we are now.

565

And we had a very actually deep conversation on technology and that's a whole other

podcast in and of itself.

566

on what that's, the damaging effects of it.

567

You know what I mean?

568

But if we can latch on to the positive aspects of it and learn from people like Zoe and

those three things and just use those three things, right?

569

And then add on, learn more.

570

It doesn't need to be overwhelming.

571

Like we don't need to make everything so overwhelming and stressful.

572

Life is crazy enough as it is.

573

Yeah, yeah, keep it, keep it simple, say no and delegate.

574

So I'm going and delegate.

575

Now for all the the mums who are pregnant or have a little baby or whatever, you've we

were talking beforehand about a freebie that you have that is like a it's a guide for the

576

community or the grandparents or the aunties and uncles, the friends how to look after the

mum.

577

the newborn with the newborn.

578

Where can people find that?

579

It's just on the homepage of my website.

580

can scroll down.

581

You can enter your information.

582

It'll send you a beautiful graphic that I made.

583

And it's meant to stick on your fridge.

584

So if someone's like, what can I do?

585

You're like, go look at the fridge.

586

What can I do to help you?

587

You go look at the fridge.

588

Moms need to be watered.

589

They need to be fed.

590

They need to be supported.

591

And so it kind of is just a go-to list of, I don't know, there's maybe like a dozen.

592

plus things on there with like little pictures.

593

So if you're a little kid and you don't know how to read yet, you're like, go to the list

and it sees like, know, digits, laundry, water mom, right?

594

And kids can bring you a water, seriously for the entire family of how to support a mom.

595

Early postpartum or like honestly, like any mom, like can you feed and water them?

596

Great.

597

You know, if someone like brought me a water all the time or just.

598

Heavens just refilled the filtration thing as often as it needs to be filled that like

that makes pun intended fills my cup.

599

yeah, it's ah just it's just one of those things that I recommend just laughing on the

fridge and just referring people to and then there's also that like, you know, a little

600

postpartum note that like if they recognize some things that that need to be, you know,

sorted medically that you know that you're up on that and that you're in tune with the

601

person you're caring for.

602

That's beautiful.

603

I think as well having that in and amongst the daily things, the water, the food, the

wiping of a benchtop.

604

And by the way, if she's doing any of these things, we need some help here.

605

That's a...

606

always laundry, there's always trash, there's always recycling.

607

If you're pumping, there's always pumping parts to be washed.

608

If you're bottling, there are always bottles to be washed.

609

Like there is literally always, always something and all the little things as you know,

add up.

610

And so if we can just take on all the little things, those become big things and they're a

huge help.

611

They are, are.

612

Carly, it's been an absolute delight em for all the ladies and maybe the few gentlemen who

are listening to this.

613

There'll be more details of how you can connect with Carly in the show notes.

614

And it's just been a delight for anybody who's listening.

615

Please like, share and subscribe this.

616

Obviously share this with any, ideally anybody who's having a baby for the first time.

617

That's who we need to listen to this.

618

Send it to them.

619

We're ever planning on having a baby ever.

620

Send it, send it.

621

oh But yes, please like, share and subscribe.

622

That'd be absolutely brilliant.

623

All right, Carly, it has been a pleasure.

624

And thanks to the technology, we can speak across oceans and continents.

625

So yeah, a joy.

626

All right.

627

God bless.

628

God bless.