What happens when childhood trauma shapes the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and the world?
In this powerful conversation, Tammy Vincent sits down with mystic healer Fairy Kelly, founder of the Wild Way Apothecary, to explore the journey from childhood dysfunction to deep personal healing. Kelly shares her story of abandonment, addiction, motherhood, and ultimately discovering a path of healing through nature, ritual, and reconnecting with the body.
Together, Tammy and Kelly dive into nervous system healing, breaking subconscious patterns, the mother wound, and the importance of looking inward rather than searching for external validation. This episode is a reminder that healing doesn’t come from fixing ourselves — it comes from remembering who we truly are.
Hello everybody.
Speaker A:Welcome back to another episode Today with us I today we have with us a actually very special guest.
Speaker A:Her name is Fairy Kelly.
Speaker A:That's what she goes by.
Speaker A:And I absolutely love that.
Speaker A:She is a mystic bridge between world's birth worker, flame keeper and founder of the Wild Way Apotha Ferry in New Hope, Pennsylvania.
Speaker A:She's a two time international best selling author and a co creatrix of the revered fairy hair artistry that has swept the world.
Speaker A:She spent over 20 years guiding women through birth embodiment, ritual, beau, beauty and soul sparkle.
Speaker A:Welcome Kelly.
Speaker B:Hi Tammy.
Speaker B:Thank you so much.
Speaker A:So doesn't that sound fun?
Speaker A:When somebody else reads your bio, you're like, wow, wow.
Speaker A:Touch me, right?
Speaker A:So I'm just going to jump right in, but I'm going to let you explain, explain some of this stuff because the listeners out there, you've probably never heard of some of these terms like world's birth worker or flame keeper.
Speaker A:So tell us a little bit about you, how you got started in your work and what lights you up, girl.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:So we only have a small window of time and there I, I'm a palette like so many of us are.
Speaker B:And I really, I feel like my work began at birth.
Speaker B:Like seriously, you know, it just had shape shifted so much through my life from starting from being abandoned in a very traumatic way and then adopted within the family, but kind of passed around within toddler years and then finally landing in New Jersey around the age of three and a half.
Speaker B:So like the, the nervous system was totally haywired at that time, you know, and I can only go off of what a lot of people tell me and then, you know, my own inner reality.
Speaker B:But nobody could, they, they couldn't understand my speaking.
Speaker B:I didn't really know how to eat correctly.
Speaker B:There were all of these things that they had to put me into therapy for like as soon as they got me.
Speaker B:And so really the, the work that I have created and manifested and brought into the world is as a direct result of all of this work that my body, being soul mind has had to go through since this incantation has happened.
Speaker B:Because then once those people got me, you know, the trauma didn't end, right?
Speaker B:And more trauma ensued.
Speaker B:And so that unfolded itself in a whole different kind of a package during my teens and my 20s.
Speaker B:And so I would say probably the birth of my first child, Kaya is what propelled me because I just, you know, your mom, you look back at those little blue eyes and everything changes.
Speaker B:So that sent me along the path of birth.
Speaker A:Work.
Speaker B:It sent me along the path of my own inner healing.
Speaker B:Because you can't do birth work without having a very, very clear mirror in front of your face to all of your own woundings.
Speaker B:You can't show up in service without having to look at those patterns.
Speaker B:So that's all developed because every single time I went out into the world and saw anything, it was to heal myself.
Speaker B:And it was, how can I understand more?
Speaker B:How can I understand better?
Speaker B:And then how can I repair?
Speaker B:And what are the different ways that I could do that within my own capabilities, you know, not looking outside of myself.
Speaker B:So now I have this beautiful life, and I'm almost 46, which is, like, right over that.
Speaker B:That, like, you know, that damn midlife hump everybody talks about.
Speaker B:And it's so true.
Speaker B:It is so transformational.
Speaker B:But I'm getting to enjoy this view now, you know?
Speaker A:Perfect.
Speaker A:So talk about the.
Speaker A:Some of the things that you did.
Speaker A:Like, you talk about finding it in yourself.
Speaker A:And I always tell people that you can't.
Speaker A:You got to stop looking to the outside.
Speaker A:You got to stop looking for people, other people to make you happy, other things to make you happy.
Speaker A:And you have to find that true happiness.
Speaker A:And like you said, soul search and figure it out yourself.
Speaker A:But what are some things within your capabilities?
Speaker A:Did you do.
Speaker A:Did you do yoga?
Speaker A:Did you journal?
Speaker A:Like, what are some things that helped you really pull some of this stuff out and heal it?
Speaker B:I knew you were gonna ask that.
Speaker B:I was thinking about it this morning, so I was like, you know, that one's gonna come.
Speaker B:So from everything
Speaker A:to.
Speaker B:I think it all started with I questioned everyone and everything around me.
Speaker B:I never trusted anyone.
Speaker B:The only person that I really had to trust was myself.
Speaker B:So no matter what came at me, I was always having to put it through a different kind of internal filter because I didn't have a mother ring.
Speaker B:Like, I. I didn't have that kind of mother ring that also teaches you how to take care of yourself.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So it began with the questioning, which with children, always starts with food and then your clothing and then what you're like, literally what you're consuming.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So right from the beginning, I was like, why are we eating this?
Speaker B:I'm gonna look into this.
Speaker B:And then I'd look into it and be like, so do you know?
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And it was like, I kind of felt for a long time that, like, I had to save everyone because I was, quote, unquote saved.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So I looked around me, and it was like, what.
Speaker B:What is causing so Much suffering and how can I fix it?
Speaker B:And so, like, looking at myself and how can I fix it?
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:And then that always starts with what you're put of you.
Speaker B:So it always started with food, and then it was like, what I was doing with my body.
Speaker B:And then I was able to recognize the patterns of some of my family members and the feast or famine or the diets and how I didn't want to live that way, you know?
Speaker B:And when I went to college, I discovered Rachel Ray, and I taught myself how to cook because my father was the cook, and he was amazing, but he didn't get to cook a lot, you know, so we got more like mashed potatoes from a box and like, canned things and.
Speaker B:But grateful for it.
Speaker B:But I didn't know fresh food.
Speaker B:And so she was talking about fresh herbs, and I was shocked.
Speaker B:I was like, what do you mean, they come fresh?
Speaker B:What is this?
Speaker B:We had the same spices in our kitchen since my parents have gotten married, and they got married when they were 17 and 20 something.
Speaker B:So, like, really old spices, you know?
Speaker B:So it blew my mind away.
Speaker B:And then I just started to cook more, and then I started to feel better, and then I started to move more.
Speaker B:I could not wait until I could remove myself from where I was planted.
Speaker B:And the moment that I was going to be able to do that in a safe capacity with the people who were my guardians, I. I took the reins and I was out as soon as I could be.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:How old were you?
Speaker B:Eighteen.
Speaker A:Eighteen, okay.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker B:And then from that moment on, it was like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:I. I never.
Speaker B:There were.
Speaker B:There may have been moments in crisis that I needed to come home, but I was always forging, I was always challenging.
Speaker B:I was never accepting of complacency.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:Of what society's roles said.
Speaker B:And, you know, I've gone through so many different realms of therapy, and right now, EMDR is like my godsend.
Speaker B:And like, my therapist says, she's like, you are so much fun to work with because you've done so much that it's clicking so fast, you know, like, sometimes it's like.
Speaker B:It's like rewiring is happening before I even get there, before I even have the electrodes in my hand.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And for anybody listening, my goodness, if you are stuck in a pattern, if you are stuck and you know, you know better, but you can't pull yourself out of it.
Speaker B:Look into emdr, specifically with the electrodes.
Speaker B:I tried the, you know, virtual.
Speaker B:The eye movement.
Speaker B:I'm a feeling being like, I have to do Everything somatically.
Speaker B:So I need those buzzers of in my hands.
Speaker B:So anyway, then that led to me going to college and then sewing my wild oats back where I was abandoned and repeating the patterns.
Speaker B:Oh, that was a fun little, like, full cycle there.
Speaker B:Repeating the patterns of the people that my DNA was comfortable, you know, composed of.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:I became an addict.
Speaker B:I fell into a very scary, scary world because there were always whispers that I was going to wind up just like them.
Speaker B:So to me, I figured, well, why don't.
Speaker B:Why don't we go chat out?
Speaker B:Let's see if it's that bad.
Speaker A:I mean.
Speaker A:Yeah, if everybody says you're gonna do it anyway, you might as well give it a shot.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So I did, and it was awful.
Speaker B:And I basically ended up finding, like, my almost version of my biological father out there, and I married him, and then I brought him back here.
Speaker B:You were at the wedding.
Speaker A:I was just gonna say, I remember that wedding.
Speaker A:And I always said, this is how I want my daughter to get married.
Speaker A:I don't think you were even wearing shoes, and you had this flowy white dress, and it was like.
Speaker A:It was the most beautiful thing.
Speaker A:And I remember I didn't really talk about it at that time because everybody, you know, it was just something different.
Speaker A:But I would tell my friends, like, my really true closest friends, I would be like, you guys don't get it.
Speaker A:Like, this is how I want my daughters to be.
Speaker A:This is what I want it to be.
Speaker A:I want it to just be wildflowers.
Speaker A:And if you met my daughter, Jesse, you met her when she was itty bitty.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You know, but she's living in Colorado right now on six and a half acres of land, off the grid, with solar panels and a camper.
Speaker A:And this is gonna visit.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:It, like, you were, like, the epitome of her and.
Speaker A:Or she of you or whatever.
Speaker A:And I kind of joke all the time, but I remember that wedding.
Speaker A:And I was like, this is so.
Speaker A:Like, it was the most earthy thing I had ever done.
Speaker A:And I was like, this is amazing.
Speaker A:And I couldn't even.
Speaker A:Like, it was you.
Speaker A:Well, you know, your family, you could.
Speaker A:I couldn't even say anything because I'm like, okay, this is really cool.
Speaker B:But everybody was like, what?
Speaker B:In the actual.
Speaker B:You know what?
Speaker B:We are standing out here in the rain.
Speaker B:You are barefoot.
Speaker B:Like, everybody was like, put shoes on.
Speaker B:And I'm like, I have to be connected to the earth.
Speaker B:You don't understand.
Speaker A:Oh, that was.
Speaker B:I fought for so much for that.
Speaker A:It was great.
Speaker A:It was great.
Speaker A:So, yes, I was at your wedding with.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And, yeah, and I met, you know, I met your husband at the time and everything.
Speaker A:And it's just.
Speaker A:I mean, that is one of the cycles of life, you know, it's like you got there and.
Speaker A:And based on what you were doing, it made absolutely 100 perfect sense.
Speaker A:Now, knowing what I do and knowing all this stuff as to why you were attracted to him.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Flat out, yep.
Speaker B:And then I was like, oh, I might.
Speaker B:I could save him.
Speaker B:I can save him.
Speaker B:And he was.
Speaker B:And he is such a beautiful man.
Speaker B:It's just.
Speaker B:There's too much there, you know, that I can no longer take on the weight of, and I did for so long.
Speaker B:And it was one of my biggest.
Speaker B:Still is one of my biggest lessons.
Speaker B:My God, the guilt of divorce is foreign.
Speaker B:It's no fun.
Speaker B:It's no fun.
Speaker B:But, you know, that just leads to deeper layers of healing and deeper relation, ship mirroring and all of it.
Speaker B:So I'm grateful.
Speaker B:And I have two of the most beautiful children and they're my portal babies.
Speaker B: Kaia was born on: Speaker B:So that's why I call them my port babies, the Elevens.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker B:And, you know, just being so attracted to all of the things that I didn't have answers for, I didn't have a birth story.
Speaker B:I was obsessed with, with birth.
Speaker B:After giving birth to my first child, knowing it could be better because I was in the hospital and, like, totally aware that I wasn't being cared for the way that I needed to be cared for, but I couldn't articulate that.
Speaker B:And then when I was done with it, I went head in and, you know, as deep as I could possibly go and served in that realm for a really long time.
Speaker B:And it was.
Speaker B:I don't even have words for it.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker B:It was transformational, transmutational, all of the things.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I can only imagine.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Especially when you don't have that birth story, like you said, and you.
Speaker A:You don't understand it.
Speaker A:You've never seen it.
Speaker A:So how many.
Speaker A:How many times did you get to watch?
Speaker A:I mean, the other people go through that and just how.
Speaker A:How cool, actually.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And people used to always say to me, you know, like, oh, my gosh, it must be so amazing to see a baby be born in the world over and over and over again.
Speaker B:And I would say, well, yeah, you know, that's.
Speaker B:That's a thought.
Speaker B:But I was never watching.
Speaker B:Like, yeah, I'd glance and I'd see when we would have crowning, but what I was doing was focused on the mother.
Speaker B:I was always eyes to the mother.
Speaker B:And in a birth room, when the baby's head first pops out, it's like everything's on that baby.
Speaker B:So much is on that baby.
Speaker B:Sometimes people forget that there's a vessel delivering the baby, you know, and so when the baby was born, so, like, the entire room goes to that baby.
Speaker B:But I would be locked in with the mother because there's this.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:It's almost like a light.
Speaker B:And it would go like.
Speaker B:And you would see this almost like.
Speaker B:Like a light nearly burst behind our eyes.
Speaker B:And the only thing that I could describe that is.
Speaker B:Is the birth of the mother.
Speaker B:And it didn't.
Speaker B:It didn't matter if it was that mom's first, second, third, fifth, eighth, whatever it was, it happened every single time.
Speaker A:That's so cool.
Speaker A:And I've never, ever heard that.
Speaker A:So that is super cool.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:And that alone is, I think, how, or I know, how I was able to start healing that mother wound, just repairing it from the core as deep as I could go.
Speaker B:And so I would always bring it back to the earth as well, you know?
Speaker A:Right, right.
Speaker A:And just think about that moment when that baby is taken out of that mother.
Speaker A:I mean, literally, you're, like, separating that DNA.
Speaker A:I mean, that's.
Speaker A:I mean, energetically.
Speaker A:That's crazy anyway, to think about, so I can only imagine what's going on.
Speaker A:And you're right.
Speaker A:Nobody does focus on the mom, you know, it's like, baby, baby, baby.
Speaker A:I never really thought about that side of it.
Speaker A:And that's.
Speaker A:That is beautiful, actually.
Speaker A:That's pretty cool.
Speaker B:Thanks.
Speaker B:Yeah, I didn't.
Speaker B:I didn't make it up.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's a thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I'll.
Speaker B:I'll never forget how.
Speaker B:Because I could talk about birth forever.
Speaker B: It was: Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And I thought I was gonna lose my mind because it was like my third or it was my second holiday season as a fairy doing fairy work, which I'll eventually get to.
Speaker B:And I didn't stop working for ever.
Speaker B:I didn't have a.
Speaker B:Days off, nothing.
Speaker B:And it was just go, go, go.
Speaker B:And I knew if I didn't retreat somewhere that.
Speaker A:That
Speaker B:I didn't know.
Speaker B:I just.
Speaker B:I wasn't taking care of myself, right?
Speaker B:So I arranged to go to this ashram in upstate New York, literally leaving an event the day before New Year's Eve, the 30th, and it was snowing, and I had a Prius, and I was in Allentown doing fairy hair until 10 o' clock at night.
Speaker B:And I somehow got there.
Speaker B:When I got there, the monks were like, how did you get here?
Speaker B:And I'm like, angels, act out angels, you know?
Speaker B:And a woman who was there, who actually ended up inviting me was a woman that I was a doula for.
Speaker B:And she had this victorious V back.
Speaker B:It was just epic, just epic.
Speaker B:And we became really good friends and we.
Speaker B:She invites me to this ashram because I had shared with her the state in which my spirit was in my body and so curious about Ayurveda.
Speaker B:And I had only dabbled in it in myself, never professionally.
Speaker B:I said yes.
Speaker B:And so I was already arriving late by like a day or two.
Speaker B:And we get there and it was the most beautiful experience I had ever had.
Speaker B: And it was moments before the: Speaker B:And we were in our little room and we had just left.
Speaker B:There were like major beautiful spiritual leaders from all over the world just jamming whatever instrument that they actually, like, play.
Speaker B:And it was like transcendent.
Speaker B:That's the only word for it.
Speaker B:And we had to go back to our room for something.
Speaker B:And it was as if we went into a channeled place and she was having an experience that I had to hold her through and almost doula her through.
Speaker B:And I heard a whisper in my ear, and it was source.
Speaker B:And it said, you are no longer meant to.
Speaker B:To help birth the babies, you must help birth the women to themselves.
Speaker B:And in the moment that was happening with that woman, it was similar.
Speaker B:That's what she was having a moment of, right?
Speaker B:And so I understood that the shift was occurring, and it was hard to put down the dueling, but I understood that I was being called to something a little bit bigger.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So talk about.
Speaker A:Yeah, something different.
Speaker A:I mean, and when you're called, you're called.
Speaker A:You don't.
Speaker A:You don't deny that.
Speaker A:You don't ignore that.
Speaker A:I mean, it is what it is.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:So talk about what you do now.
Speaker A:What does that look like?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B: for me very big and deeply in: Speaker B:We all have that incineration, right?
Speaker B:That big shift, whether it came before or after, during.
Speaker B:So I speak about it in Believe beyond, and I Could no longer operate through serving.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So my MO had turned into my worthiness is a contract, is contractual as long as I am showing up to serve whoever is in front of me, Right.
Speaker B:Whatever I am in relationship with.
Speaker B:And I couldn't do that anymore.
Speaker B:I literally couldn't go to birth.
Speaker B:I couldn't touch people.
Speaker B:I was doing massage therapy for over 20 years, energy therapy, fairy hair.
Speaker B:Like, I wasn't allowed to do anything outside of.
Speaker B:Take care of me and my kids, you know.
Speaker B:And so that is when I found fire, and that is when I found silk.
Speaker B:And so someday I'll be able to tell all the nuances of the story because it's so beautiful and serendipitous.
Speaker B:But one day I. I will.
Speaker B:And basically found this wild troop of women, and I followed them and became initiated into being a flame keeper, which is basically bringing you into the lost element of fire and holding it and understanding what it is.
Speaker B:Because we're elemental beings.
Speaker B:You know, meditation is the mind, yoga is the body and the mind.
Speaker B:They say, you know, then there's this spirit and then there's all of these things.
Speaker B:But we very rarely work with fire.
Speaker B:We're taught to fear it from the very beginning.
Speaker B:And I also had suffered a.
Speaker B:Almost fourth degree.
Speaker B:It was like deeper than third degree burn by falling into a fire pit.
Speaker A:I was just gonna say you've got a pretty tight connection with fire, because I remember when you were in the hospital from that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I remember them talking about your bandage changing.
Speaker A:And I was like, oh, bless her heart.
Speaker A:Bless her heart.
Speaker A:I can imagine.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Oh, my God, I remember that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I said that to someone the other day.
Speaker A:Like, I was talking to whether it was Greg or whether it was somebody.
Speaker A:And I was like, you don't remember that story?
Speaker A:And they're like, no.
Speaker A:I'm like, how could you forget that?
Speaker A:Like, that was horrible.
Speaker B:Oh, thanks, Tammy.
Speaker A:I remember it.
Speaker A:I was like, I think about it all the time.
Speaker A:Like, the long hair you had, like, really long.
Speaker A:I don't know how long your hair is now, but your hair was really long, like down to your butt, right?
Speaker A:It was, yeah, yeah, it was super, super long.
Speaker A:And I remember thinking, oh, my God, that saved her life.
Speaker A:Because I don't know.
Speaker A:I don't remember the whole details of it, but anyway, I do remember.
Speaker A:I know when you just said that, when I read that, it was funny, the Flame Keeper, I was like, okay, there's the water, you know, and that's a big thing.
Speaker A:And there's fire.
Speaker A:And I'm like, there's got to be a reason somehow be reconnected without having a fear of the fire.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker B:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And then I wasn't trusted with fire.
Speaker B:And we lived in a 600 year old house that had three fireplaces, like it was our main source of heat.
Speaker B:And then we would have fire pits outside almost every single day because we lived in the woods.
Speaker B:So then, not being trusted with it, I was being told I couldn't trust myself.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:You know, and I was like, something's wrong.
Speaker B:Like, this is not right.
Speaker B:I don't like the way this is sitting.
Speaker B:And I had always been drawn to people.
Speaker B:Like at festivals when I would see them with fire, I would just like leave whoever.
Speaker B:I was like a magnet, you know, Even though I had been burned, even though I went through the excruciating pain of nerves having to like rebuild themselves and I couldn't shower for almost 12 weeks, I wasn't allowed to change my own bandages.
Speaker B:I couldn't work.
Speaker B:Like, there were so many things.
Speaker B:But when I was finally able to have separation from my husband because, you know, he was the one who was fearful that something could happen again, that's when source just kind of dropped Kiki and Gia in my lap.
Speaker B:And they were absolutely enchanting.
Speaker B:And they were putting on a retreat in Costa Rica.
Speaker B:And I was like, I'm coming.
Speaker B:And then she's like, who are you?
Speaker B:I've never even heard of you.
Speaker B:And I'm like, this is who I am.
Speaker B:And she's like, okay, well, how about we have a retreat in Chicago, in Illinois before we do the Costa Rica one?
Speaker B:How about you come try that out before you go international, Right?
Speaker B:So I did.
Speaker B:And there's a whole nother branch to the story because the day that I reached out to her and said, I have to do this, I'm signing up.
Speaker B:The very next day I met my now partner and.
Speaker B:And that partner was doing fire in my town, spinning fire, what I just signed up for.
Speaker B:And this is a tiny ass town.
Speaker B:Do you know it?
Speaker B:French town.
Speaker B:And like, yeah, it's like a dot.
Speaker B:So I was like, what is.
Speaker B:I want to meet somebody with fire.
Speaker B:How do I not know this?
Speaker B:You know?
Speaker B:And then boom, it was.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:But that's always been the way for me.
Speaker B:And I think that that is.
Speaker B:That is why I keep showing up even after my, like, quietude, my.
Speaker B:My sabbaticals, because I feel like I've had a little bit of a sabbatical from serving in the ways that most people are used to.
Speaker B:Me showing up in.
Speaker B:But then I have to show up again, right?
Speaker B:And it's like, we have to do this because people look in and they say, how are you living this magical life that you created on your own accord?
Speaker B:And I'm saying, because it's all the little choices of choosing your heart's desire.
Speaker B:And if you don't know what your heart's desire is, babe, then freaking tune in and figure it out.
Speaker B:And if you don't know how to tune in, then you start.
Speaker B:Start with your body and your breath and you start with the sun.
Speaker B:Like, what are the most basic freaking things?
Speaker B:And you start there, and then it works outward.
Speaker B:It can't go from here.
Speaker B:Here, you know, And.
Speaker B:And that's probably the gift of being motherless, you know, is that I had to be my mother, so I had to follow what felt good, not what
Speaker A:was taught what was told to you.
Speaker A:Yes, absolutely.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:That was a big, like.
Speaker A:Like mic drop.
Speaker A:Bam.
Speaker A:Oh, that's great.
Speaker A:That's great.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So now I dance with fire.
Speaker B:My partner is literally like a master.
Speaker B:He's been doing it for 25 years.
Speaker B:But my son, stubborn ways and my old ways.
Speaker B:Because here's a little.
Speaker B:I don't know if we're allowed to do this, but there's a book called the Queen's Code by Alison Armstrong.
Speaker B:Literally, game changer.
Speaker B:Completely and utterly rewired me in understanding men.
Speaker B:I laid down my sword.
Speaker B:I am no longer emasculating them.
Speaker B:I am no longer on the I hate men team.
Speaker B:And that's huge coming from me.
Speaker B:I've endured a lot of different kinds of traumas from men that I both trusted and didn't know and did know in my life.
Speaker B:So, you know, I was really comfortable being like a Lilith Fair freaking feminist, Hardcore all the way.
Speaker B:Let's burn them down.
Speaker B:We don't need any of them for a really long time.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And that my.
Speaker B:My relationship that I'm in right now and that book, it has.
Speaker B:What has completely and utterly changed the game for me.
Speaker B:So I keep telling every woman that I possibly know.
Speaker A:Will.
Speaker B:Will.
Speaker B:Will say, okay, I'll take it.
Speaker B:Because it's.
Speaker B:It's beyond.
Speaker B:So get that.
Speaker B:And where did I go?
Speaker B:I. I veered.
Speaker A:Oh, you're fine.
Speaker A:You're fine.
Speaker A:You were.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I don't know how that came up.
Speaker B:I know, right?
Speaker B:Because I was talking about men, my relationship.
Speaker B:Oh, right.
Speaker B:So Johnny.
Speaker B:So he.
Speaker B:Of course we weren't going to this retreat.
Speaker B:I wasn't going to this retreat in Illinois for Quite some time.
Speaker B:And he want.
Speaker B:He was.
Speaker B:He was like, oh, you want to do this?
Speaker B:Here, look, let me put in your hands.
Speaker B:And I was like, you're a man.
Speaker B:I can't have you put it in my hands.
Speaker B:And he's like, what?
Speaker B:And I'm like, I cannot have you put this in my hands.
Speaker B:I'm sorry.
Speaker B:It has to come from a woman.
Speaker B:And so I waited for three months, and then we went, and then I wasn't gonna bring them, and then the last minute, I brought them, and it was transformational for everybody.
Speaker B:And then I didn't bring him to Costa Rica.
Speaker B:Then the next year, I brought my daughter, my youngest daughter, Cora, and she was 10 years old, and now she is 14.
Speaker B:And that girl has four years under her belt.
Speaker B:She has trained with some of the world's most amazing fire dancers in St. Croix in Chicago.
Speaker B:They're her fire aunties now.
Speaker B:When she got her period and became a woman, they all flew out here from Michigan and Chicago and Florida and fairy sisters.
Speaker B:And we all came together to welcome our beautiful girl into the tribe.
Speaker B:And that alone was so healing because every single woman, even my midwife, was there who caught Cora.
Speaker B:Of course, my mom didn't come.
Speaker B:So it was like every single woman said, I'm here for you, but I'm also here for me, because I didn't get this right.
Speaker B:And this is so amazing, you know, so that's like another facet to the work.
Speaker B:And she's such a beautiful girl.
Speaker B:And people are always asking me, you know, because I was told when I blew out the candles on my cake at my 13th birthday, the devil entered my body, and then that was it.
Speaker B:And I was awful from that point on.
Speaker B:And so I always held this belief, which I inadvertently did pass on to my children, that teenagers are just awful, evil, evil.
Speaker B:They're evil, they're awful, they're evil, and they should just go away.
Speaker B:And you have to deal with it and, like, the jokes, because I, I, I have sometimes over a hundred women in my chair in a week.
Speaker B:And we get close.
Speaker B:You know, people.
Speaker B:People share.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And the consensus was, even with the elders, was I drank a lot.
Speaker B:I drank a lot during that time.
Speaker B:I'm also sober, so, you know, it's like, well, that's not gonna work for me here.
Speaker B:And she is defying all of that, you know?
Speaker B:And so a lot of mothers will say to me, like, sometimes they'll look at me and they'll be like, you're so lucky.
Speaker B:And there's a little bit of of jealousy or envy or resentment in their.
Speaker B:And I've.
Speaker B:I've.
Speaker B:I've had my own journey with my oldest child, and it was fractured and it was hard, and I had to learn my own ways in which I ensued trauma, right?
Speaker B:And still growing from that now.
Speaker B:But the way that Cora is showing up in the world is because I have shared her with the world and said, help me, help me with this one, you know, because we can't do it alone.
Speaker B:And we need a tribe and we need our women.
Speaker B:And so my, my real life goal, like, when people are like, you have your hands in so many different pots, you know, and, like, what is it?
Speaker B:Like, what is it?
Speaker B:Because it's so hard to understand, which is why I opened the apothecary.
Speaker B:And I've been mobile for so long, and I've been traveling for so long.
Speaker B:And I did have studios over the past 20 years, but they were just one on one, and I was only doing one on one work.
Speaker B:So it was a really big leap jumping in and opening up the apothecary.
Speaker B:And so the apothecary houses all the ways in which I have served throughout my lifetime.
Speaker B:And it is a portal.
Speaker B:And now that I just am starting our third year, we do fairy hair there.
Speaker B:It's a headquarters for Fairy Hair Mystery School.
Speaker B:It is an apothecary, which means it's also like an apothecary.
Speaker B:There's herbs, and there's everything that our mother Earth has given to us to help us heal.
Speaker B:It is a place that transports you as soon as you walk in.
Speaker B:Because my imagination has been one of the greatest tools in my healing.
Speaker B:And I believe it's because I've had to, you know, develop it throughout my lifetime in ways of survival that have turned into thriving.
Speaker B:And so, you know, when people walk in the door, they say there's sound healing there, there's women's circles there, There's a wish workshop.
Speaker B:You have to step into the fairy ring, and then you get to create your own little wish vial.
Speaker B:And you, you go into this ceiling sanctum, and then you seal it with flame and wax.
Speaker B:And you get to drink a little cup of pixie potion tea out of a real glass, you know, so it's like all of the elements are there for you to remember who you are elementally, at the core of who you are.
Speaker B:And so now, you know, people will come in and they're just like, did you create this?
Speaker B:And as much as my ego wants to be like, yes, I did.
Speaker B:I really didn't because it stripped me apart.
Speaker B:The building of it, the leaping into it, challenged every single new program that I had given to myself.
Speaker B:It completely and utterly obliterated me.
Speaker B:I went back to drinking.
Speaker B:I stopped taking care of myself.
Speaker B:I was pushing everybody away in my life, and I caught my snap, and I just kept showing up and sitting in.
Speaker B:I. I painted it green.
Speaker B:And then it was like I. I couldn't continue, right?
Speaker B:I couldn't keep going because I was lying to myself all over again, right?
Speaker B:And then I had so much shame because it's like, holy, you've been here so many times.
Speaker B:And how embarrassing, right?
Speaker B:Like, it happens to everybody.
Speaker B:You're not.
Speaker B:You're not that magical that you're not devoid of human failure and falter, right?
Speaker B:And so I just sat in that green shop and I basically had, like, conversations with God, like, how the fuck do you want me to show up now?
Speaker B:Sorry, but, like, you know, if you're telling me that every way in which I've known I can no longer do, then how is it supposed to be?
Speaker B:And what I thought I was gonna build?
Speaker B:Oh, you told me in all of the ways with big red tape that I wasn't gonna be allowed to do it.
Speaker B:So how the hell am I supposed to do that now that I leaped in and I have every single last ounce of my money and my.
Speaker B:My resources and my energy in this space.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker B:And I had ideas of how I thought it was supposed to look, and I was trying to control it and doing that, and it was so awful that things would just.
Speaker B:Like, the shelves would just fall off the wall.
Speaker B:Like, not this way.
Speaker B:How about you try again?
Speaker B:Are you going to listen now?
Speaker B:You know, so when I finally listened, and I finally listened was when I stopped drinking and I stopped telling everybody I was too busy and being like, I could just do everything myself, right?
Speaker B:Picked myself back up and I sat in there with my tea and I said, show me.
Speaker B:And it literally showed me.
Speaker B:And now when people walk in and their breath is taken away, or they tell me that they're feeling something and they don't understand it, or they ask if they could come into the fairy room, or they get fairy hair, or, you know, we give two free strands and we're in New Hope.
Speaker B:So New Hope is like a huge tourist town.
Speaker B:And we are right before you walk over the bridge, you know, the bridge that walks into Lambertville.
Speaker B:So, like, on the weekends, it's hundreds of people that walk in there.
Speaker B:It's wild beyond my imagination.
Speaker B:And for the first year, I literally Hid.
Speaker B:I couldn't open the door.
Speaker B:I couldn't open the door.
Speaker B:I would have panic attacks.
Speaker B:It was awful.
Speaker B:So it was just like having to come back into myself again and.
Speaker B:And that relearning and now the ignition of sharing, because people are like, wait, but how have you done this?
Speaker B:And I'm like, well, it's.
Speaker B:Wait, you're right.
Speaker B:How have I done this?
Speaker A:Oh, right.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:That's crazy.
Speaker A:That's awesome.
Speaker A:That's beautiful.
Speaker B:It's always that desire.
Speaker B:It's always following what lights you up.
Speaker B:Like you said in the beginning, what lights you up.
Speaker B:Well, we could be here forever.
Speaker A:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:Oh, I'll have to have you back on again.
Speaker A:And we'll have to pick another like.
Speaker A:Like, focus niche and just go for it.
Speaker A:Because, like, literally, I could talk to you forever.
Speaker A:But you've got your shop.
Speaker A:We're gonna put the address and the link and everything.
Speaker A:But tell people.
Speaker A:This has been so much fun.
Speaker A:But tell people if they want to reach out to you, want to talk to you, want to ask you questions, where do they reach you?
Speaker A:How do they get to you?
Speaker B:The best way would be through email, which is wildfire, fairy hair, gmail.com.
Speaker B:also, my Instagram, you know, I have to check that.
Speaker B:I have really healthy boundaries with it.
Speaker B:I don't scroll, but I do check my messages.
Speaker A:You're funny.
Speaker A:You're funny.
Speaker A:I was gonna say we could do a whole hour on boundaries.
Speaker A:Every.
Speaker A:Every topic you brought up and mentioned.
Speaker A:This has been so much fun, Kelly, Give.
Speaker A:And I've.
Speaker A:I've literally.
Speaker A:I don't even know how long I've known you.
Speaker A:We weren't in touch and everything, but, I mean, I'm gonna definitely keep in better touch.
Speaker A:You're absolutely adorable.
Speaker A:Give the listeners your big picture.
Speaker A:Word of advice.
Speaker A:I've taken out six or seven or a hundred things that you've said today where I can pick, and I could probably pick any one of the things you said.
Speaker A:But what would be your biggest piece of advice for women, men, whoever is listening?
Speaker B:I'd have to say, go hug a tree.
Speaker B:That's as simple as it can be.
Speaker B:I don't care if it's freaking snowing.
Speaker B:I don't care if it's cold.
Speaker B:I want you to go find a tree, and I want you to hug it.
Speaker B:And I want you to do nothing but feel the air on your face and the breath in your lungs and know that you have every single thing inside of you to make your dreams come true.
Speaker A:Absolutely love it.
Speaker A:Absolutely love it.
Speaker A:Thank you so much, Kelly, for coming on.
Speaker A:I really appreciate it.
Speaker B:Yeah, I love you, too.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker A:And for everybody else out there listening, you heard it.
Speaker A:Go hug a tree, silly.
Speaker A:It's the same thing when people say go.
Speaker A:You know when you're in New Jersey and people say take off your shoes and go walk in the grass and people are like, it's cold.
Speaker A:Who gives a crap?
Speaker A:Who doesn't gives a rat's butt?
Speaker A:Like it doesn't matter.
Speaker A:Get outside, get in nature.
Speaker A:Yep, that's.
Speaker A:I mean, that's the biggest connection you can get to anything in the world.
Speaker A:Your God, your universe, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker A:But go for it.
Speaker B:There's your root.
Speaker A:So thank you so much again, and I will see you all back next week.