Andrea (AWN-DRAY-UH) Fortenberry is a writer, speaker, and host of The Perfectionist's Guide to Mothering, a podcast that equips moms to find freedom from perfectionism and show up for the life God has for them. She is the author of _Two-Minute Timeouts: 100 Devotions for Weary and Wonderful Days (_Our Daily Bread Publishers).

She is on staff with MomCo as the Leadership Development Manager and cohosts The MomCo Leadership Podcast.

She loves chai lattes, reading books and all things Golden and Gilmore girls.

My website: https://andreafortenberry.com

My podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/andreafortenberry/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/andreafortenberry

Hi, I'm Angel.

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God chose us to have a conversation with us, his creation.

Our prayer is that this listening space brings growth and transforms your life forever.

Praise God for you, Angel.

It's a great pleasure to connect with you.

What part of the world are you in today?

I live in the United States in Phoenix, Arizona.

Oh, very cool.

Well, very hot.

Yes.

But this morning actually is very beautiful.

We had a storm last night come through and it's our rainy monsoon season, as we call it.

And so this morning was actually very nice.

I needed to go out and clean up our yard from the debris the wind brought in.

And it was actually lovely outside.

That's good.

Yeah, getting up in the morning and doing garden-related work feels peaceful, especially when it's not hot, yeah?

But there's a beauty in it, isn't there?

Yes, being in God's creation.

And it's interesting in Arizona because it's so hot in the summer, we hibernate a little bit inside because it's so warm.

So it's actually nice when it's cool and overcast and we can be outside without the stifling heat.

Everything that I've seen and heard from you in preparation for this conversation feels as though there was a specific time in your life when you decided that you were going to be intentional with what you do next.

If that is accurate, when was that time?

Yes, I would say that is a theme that did come about in my life.

So a lot of my story and testimony that I like to share to encourage others is that I wanted to be a mother for my whole life.

And I was so blessed to have two children.

And then shortly after, I just realized I was very frustrated as a mom and just the unexpected things.

I like to say I am now a recovering perfectionist and that having children really brought about an awareness that I had some work to do in my heart because I didn't want my children to remember that I was frustrated or that I yelled at them or those types of things.

And so I made an appointment to go see a Christian counselor and I really hoped that she would give me 10 easy steps to get over my anger and frustration and that it would take just a few sessions and that would be it.

But really, it was a lot of heart work of understanding myself and how certain events in my life had created coping mechanisms or ways that I created safety for myself, really.

And so it was just very eye-opening and going through that experience has just reminded me the importance of seeking wise counsel and allowing God to really expose those areas in us so that he can do the work of helping us to heal.

Entrepreneurial or teacher, which would you choose?

I think I have both, but I really do feel like I have the heart of a teacher more.

So that would be the number one.

I feel that.

I feel that.

So where did you or how did you come to meet Jesus?

I feel like I knew Jesus as a little girl.

My family, we grew up going to church, but I feel like the denomination that I was raised in, it was a lot of tradition and a little bit less about relationship and opening the Bible.

But I do remember as a little girl, loving the Lord and praying and really wanting to honor God with my choices and with my life.

But it wasn't until I was a freshman in high school that I really feel like a deep personal relationship started with the Lord.

My family, we were living in New Mexico in the United States.

That's where I'm from originally.

And my father was working for a company that took us to Israel for a couple of months because of his job.

And my dad was actually there for a year, but my mom and brother and I lived there for about five and a half months.

And because we were there, someone gave my mom a Bible as we were heading to this adventure and said, Hey, you're going to be in the Holy land.

So here's a Bible.

And my mom started reading the Bible for the first time on her own.

And as we're visiting these places, and so she really developed a personal relationship with the Lord.

And when we came back, we started going to an amazing church that really taught us the Bible and about what it was like to have a personal relationship with Jesus.

So I feel like for me, that's really where I got good, deep growth and really, yeah, just began a personal relationship with the Lord.

Hmm.

I always love the fascination of the connection that goes with how you become saved because within it, I see the connection of the mother, right?

And today the work that you do as a mother, again, and how important that is for others, because you came to Christ the way you did the perfectionist side, though, is that from your mom or from?

Oh, that's interesting.

I've never really thought about that before.

You know, I do think that we all have some perfectionism in us about specific things, right?

We all have preferences, I would say maybe strong preferences about certain things.

But thinking about it, I think maybe more of my dad than my mom.

Yeah, I get that, too.

I felt that way, too, from the little I've heard, yeah, from the fact of him going out there, working for a year, being that guy, yeah, but still having his family visit.

Yes.

And my father is also very entrepreneurial.

He owns a business today and has worked very hard at that.

So what was the ignition for you starting your podcast?

I was an early adopter, early listener of podcasts, and I just enjoyed it so much.

And around the same time was also teaching Bible study at my church and just thought, I would love to have a podcast.

But it took me a little while to figure out the topic and what I would call it.

I didn't know if it would just be general faith podcast or specifically faith for women or motherhood.

And at the same time, I was working on a book proposal by the name of my podcast today, which is called The Perfectionist Guide to Mothering.

And I was talking with a friend about my book, and she said, Well, I know you've been wanting to start a podcast.

Why don't you just call it The Perfectionist Guide to Mothering, the name of the book you're hoping to write.

And so that really was an aha.

And I just really needed someone to tell me that because because I couldn't see that for myself.

So I started back in May of 2020.

And I feel like a lot of people started some creative projects then because it was COVID.

But I had already planned, I was already getting things in motion when that happened.

And for a long time, I was very afraid of the technical pieces.

I'm more of a creative, less of a logical production person.

And so I was very afraid of that.

But I took some online courses and went to some seminars and learned and just thought, you know what, I'm going to just do the best I can, I'm going to learn on the job.

And I've been going ever since.

Have you enjoyed it, the creative side that goes with the technical side of podcasting?

I have, I've learned that I'm better at technical things than I give myself credit for.

But my favorite part is the creative part of coming up with topic ideas.

And then most of my episodes, I interview guests.

And that has been just very sweet to get to meet new people and establish new relationships and friendships, and then also share the amazing creative ways that God has gifted each of them, which turns around and encourages listeners.

So it's just, I love that part of the process.

If I had to place a bet, and I'm not a gambling guy, right?

But if I had to place a bet on you starting off your podcast and being the editor or hiring someone to be the editor for your podcast, I would say you began by editing your own podcast.

Yes, I did.

I did that for about three years.

And then I had a friend who was doing podcast editing, I had her do it for about a year, and then she stopped.

So I took it back over.

But just last month, I have a friend who I paid to do some ministry things for me.

And I asked her, if I taught you how to edit my podcast, would would you be up for that?

And thankfully, she said yes.

So as of about two weeks ago, she has started taking over the editing again for me.

You are absolutely amazing.

But at the same time, there is a speaking side of what you do professionally as well, isn't it?

Yes, yes, thank you.

And I really do feel like my communication skills elevated probably about 10 years ago, as I was in, I feel like a waiting season for some opportunities to come about for speaking and teaching and things professionally, I started attending Toastmasters International.

Have you heard of Toastmasters?

And yes, and I was a member for several years.

And I feel like that's where I learned the awareness of the filler words and just different things in speaking that I hadn't really picked up on before.

And I also loved learning from other speakers in the group.

So I like to give Toastmasters lots of credit for that.

Tell me about your children after going through the therapy and the experience of improving you.

What has been their feedback on this version of mommy?

That's a great question.

I've not actually had the conversation with them about do you remember when I would yell or things like that, partially because just honestly, I'm a little scared that they do remember.

Don't want to remind them of that.

No, but my actually my daughter, she's 18.

She has shared just one or two times that she remembered, you know, I got frustrated with them.

But she has given the caveat of we were doing something we shouldn't have been doing or that kind of thing.

But I do think that what I really tried to model for my children, so my daughter's 18, my son is 15, to model for them that it's important for the mother and the family for everybody, but just the mom, particularly to take good care of herself.

So my children see that I still go to see my counselor about once a month,

even now all these years later, they see that I am in a book club with friends, they see that I

exercise, they see that I have my podcast and the writing and speaking I do because not only

do I fill this calling, but to do those things, but also because it helps me to be a better version

of me, which helps me to be a good wife and a good mom and not to be a martyr instead.

Five years from today, I invite you back to the podcast.

And you do not remember what we spoke about.

So you go listen to the conversation to prepare.

What's the message you'd leave for yourself?

I think the message I would leave so interesting timing, one week from today, exactly almost the same time, as right now, we will be moving my daughter to college.

And in many ways, it is a celebration.

And it's exciting.

But in many ways, it feels like a loss.

And there's grief and sadness.

So she will graduate actually in about three years, and my son will graduate high school in three years.

So I will be an empty nester in five years.

So I think I would just hope that I see this season as a new opportunity and a new chapter.

Yes, in some ways, it's an ending, but it's also the beginning of something new of having relationships with adult an adult child.

And yes, there's sadness, but there's also still memories to be made and new things that God wants to do in all of us.

And so I hope that when I look, look back five years from now, I will just see that I looked forward and tried new things that we still had new experiences as a family.

And so that I really looked forward with hope and just really tried to be present and joyful in the new season.

Thank you for being on what is inspired by 12 minute convoys.