Have you ever felt the weight of the world crashing down on you, yet still found the strength to keep going? Today's incredible guest has a story that exemplifies the level of pure grit and resilience required to beat even the most impossible of odds!

We all face our own battles, our own life-altering challenges, our own adversities that can seem insurmountable. By listening to the story of today's guest, you might just find the catalyst you need to push through your own struggles and emerge stronger on the other side!

Meet Marcy Langlois

Episode 306 of Grit, Grace, & Inspiration is a heart-wrenching yet uplifting chronicle of Marcy Langlois's life. From battling the physical and emotional scars of being born with a cleft lip and palate to overcoming addiction, Marcy's narrative is infused with raw emotion and ultimate triumph—a story that promises to leave you in awe as well as inspired.

Some Key Takeaways:

• Discover the essence of true resilience as Marcy Langlois recounts her uplifting journey of confronting and conquering life's obstacles.
• Be reminded of the pain words can cause and there long term implications. Bullying is one of the horrible aspects of Marcy's childhood.
• Addiction comes in many different shapes and sizes. Listen as Marcy explains how she would unknowingly trade one addiction for another.
• Learn about how Marcy has been able to heal herself, something that she now helps others to do in their own lives.

Get ready to immerse yourself in Marcy's powerful tale of triumph against all odds by playing Episode 306 now—you do not want to miss this life-changing story.

LINKS & RESOURCES FOR MARCY LANGLOIS

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• Work with Marcy - Special Promotion is valid until 07/23/2024 Use Promo Code 'Grace and Grit'

More About Marcy Langlois

Born with a cleft lip and palate, Marcy’s childhood was marked by an excruciating series of surgical procedures—23 in all before the age of 18. Because she looked and talked different than other kids, she was relentlessly teased and bullied. Her journey into adulthood was marked by challenging, traumatic, and downright tragic waypoints: coming out as a queer woman, involvement in a multiple-fatality car accident, and a devastating descent into addiction and chronic illness. Though she got off to a rough start in life, Marcy has discovered one thing: that no matter what obstacles are in your path, Living Beyond Your Limits is not just a dream—it’s infinitely possible.

Hey, it's Kevin!

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© 2024 Grit, Grace, & Inspiration

0:00:29 - (Kevin Lowe): And it's all happening right here, right now, inside of episode 306. Yo. Are you ready to flip the script on life? Cause those bad days, they're just doors to better days. And that's exactly what we do here at grit, grace, and inspiration. Your host, Kevin Lowe, he's been flipping the script on his own life, turning over 20 years of being completely blind into straight up inspiration, motivation, and encouragement just for you. So kick back, relax, and let me introduce you to your host, Kevin Lowe.

0:01:40 - (Kevin Lowe): I want you to hear the end. You can't stop at the beginning. You can't stop at the middle. You have to go to the end, because the end is where it all comes together. At the end is where the magic happens. Today is a story meant to inspire you. Pull at your heartstrings and empower you. This is the story of Marcy Langlois.

0:02:40 - (Marcy Langlois): And so literally, it's your nose into your mouth with no skin or tissue there at all.

0:03:03 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. So I'm 48 years old, so when I was born, no, they did not know that I was going to be born this way. And cleft lip and palate also is often an indication that there's internal issues. So your heart can have significant problems. Your digestive tract and all of your major organs can be impaired from this issue. And so the cleft lip and palate is like the external sign that there's typically something internally occurring.

0:03:42 - (Kevin Lowe): Yes. Okay, well, I guess that was a bonus.

0:03:47 - (Kevin Lowe): Yes. If we have to find a positive. Well. Well, talk to me a little bit. I mean, about what are the implications as a baby and then growing up through childhood of having this cleft lip and palate, what. What did that mean in terms of. Of treatment, surgeries, procedures? What did that look like?

0:04:36 - (Marcy Langlois): And our nervous system is wired in the first 90 days that we're alive for either safety or we're not safe. And so I definitely did not feel safe in the first seven days of my life. And then from there, it just sort of went downhill. I had my first surgery when I was three months old. My mother fed me with an eyedropper about every 20 minutes because I had no ability to suck out of a bottle. And that's how I was fed.

0:05:37 - (Marcy Langlois): So at 18 months old, they repaired my palate, and then I had nine major surgeries, consisting from the time I was three months old until I was 18 months old, and within those nine major surgeries, I had 23 surgical procedures. I had braces from the time I was in kindergarten until I graduated from high school. So for 13 years, I had braces on my teeth. I was at the orthodontist dentist, Ent specialist, weekly, monthly, I had speech lessons, and I was chronically ill. On top of that, I had ear infections every two weeks, and I was just always sick. I never felt well.

0:06:23 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. Wow, how? I mean, I think of a child having to go through this, but the fact was you never really knew anything different because you were born into it. So I guess I'm kind of curious, from your perspective, how did it really kind of impact your childhood as far as just getting to be a kid?

0:07:36 - (Marcy Langlois): And then just the way that I looked and the way that I spoke is very different than the way I look and speak today. My whole face has been reconstructed. And so, you know, kids taunted and teased me and bullied me and, yeah, it was very, very impactful. It is the reason that I am who I am today, for sure.

0:08:12 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah, you know, my. My father was an active alcoholic, and so it was chaotic and volatile with him all the time. You never really knew what you were going to get with him. And I. So he was not really supportive, like, day to day. When he was there, he was there, right? But he wasn't always there. And my mother was my rock. My mother is the one that navigated the medical system. I mean, navigating the medical system alone is really unbelievably challenging in so many regards. And when you have so many systems that have to overlap, and my needs were so extensive and so great and broad.

0:09:29 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, that's amazing. Now, did you. Did you grow up, like always, in, like, the same home while growing up, and, like, near family the whole time you were a child?

0:10:09 - (Marcy Langlois): So that's when it got really serious for us, and we were left with nothing. We had our mobile home trailer, and my dad was able to negotiate buying a piece of land, raw land. There was no utilities on the land from a farmer and make monthly payments to him. And so my dad drug that trailer out in the middle of a field, and that was our new home. So we had no running water and no electricity until my parents could save enough money and gather enough funding to be able to drill a well and get utilities to the trailer.

0:10:53 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah, we were. I was right around five or six. Yep.

0:11:17 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah, that's a great question. You know, honestly, I think when I look back on that time, I can't remember thinking. I can't remember thinking anything more than, this is just how our life is. Right? Like, I wasn't like, oh, my God, we don't have any electricity or any running water. I was like, this is where we live, and my parents are going to figure it out kind of thing, or what? You know what I mean? Like, I don't even know that I considered any of it. I just.

0:11:50 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, absolutely. Makes total sense to me now. What about school? Obviously school. You kind of mentioned earlier about bullying and stuff, which only makes sense since little kids can be assholes. And talk to me, though, a little bit more about school and the fact of just, uh. Did you like school? Where did you go to school? What was that like for you? And. And kind of maybe even expand a little bit more on the bullying aspect.

0:12:51 - (Marcy Langlois): And I went to school over there, and that's when I really realized that I was different. Prior to that, the people in our little local town, I grew up in a town of, like, 250 people, is tiny, tiny, tiny. Still, to this day, there's not even a stop sign there and. Or a stop light. Excuse me. There's a stop sign that there's not stoplight. And so, you know, I grew up in this really supportive community, and I was kind of cocooned, you know, really?

0:13:48 - (Marcy Langlois): It was better if they just called me flat nose or flat face, or they would stick their big lip out, their bottom lip out at me to mock me. You know, the thing was, is that what I learned in school, Washington, I mean, I learned a lot of things and I got a wonderful education. I'm so grateful for it today. But what I learned really was, is that if I could be who you wanted me to be, who those kids wanted me to be, then you would like me, and how could I accomplish that, right? So, like, I was hustling for love and acceptance, and I found a way to get love and acceptance by being smart, by being the know it all in class, by being the best at anything that I did.

0:15:22 - (Kevin Lowe): How old were you when. When that all happened?

0:16:05 - (Marcy Langlois): I knew that I was not attracted to boys. I knew that I was definitely attracted to girls, and that I thought, oh, my God, there's got to be some mistake in all of this. Like, you can't tell me that I have to deal with this, too. And so, you know, in good catholic fashion, I prayed that I would not have this. Right. I didn't know I was a lesbian or what you would call that, or. I didn't even know. Right.

0:16:55 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. I want to ask. You said a few minutes ago about this idea of at this young age, feeling ashamed and embarrassed of who you are. Did that begin once you went to school and the bullying started.

0:17:14 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Wow. Okay, so let us just kind of realize when we talk about you being born into adversity, I mean, can we stop checking off boxes at some point? Because, I mean, you've told us you were born with a cleft lip and palate. You had a family dynamic that had you guys living without electricity and water, even though at the time it just seemed like normal life. Now you go to school, you're facing bullying, you're already as a young child having all these profound, honestly, mindset shifts for kind of just survival mode, and now you realize you're gay on top of it.

0:18:05 - (Kevin Lowe): That is crazy.

0:18:13 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Okay, so. Oh, man. You get. And then, I mean, we're only in elementary school at this point, right?

0:18:26 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. So when you realize the fact that you. You didn't like boys, how long did it take you as a child to really understand what that meant?

0:19:30 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow, that's a long time to have to kind of swallow who you really are.

0:20:04 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, absolutely. Back on your story, middle school. I read that in middle school. And I want you to talk to me about this whole part of your story is that you actually started drinking alcohol.

0:20:57 - (Marcy Langlois): So we were exposed to alcohol all of the time. And so, you know, I'd always be fetching my dad's beers, the fridge for him, and I'd open the can of beer, and I'd take a big old chug off the top of his beer and then hand them the beer, you know? And, I mean, I started doing that when I was, like, five years old, six years old. Then when I got in the middle school, I went to. From the catholic school to the public school, and that was, like, crazy mind blowing for me.

0:22:08 - (Marcy Langlois): And I saw all these adults in my life having fun around me by drinking, and it seemed like they didn't care about things. They certainly all of that. So I was like, that could work for me. So I started drinking whenever I could get my hands on it and was around easily for me. I started drinking, and then it just really progressed as I went through high school, and then it became drugs and alcohol, but that's where it began for me.

0:23:03 - (Marcy Langlois): Bullying aspect was a little better because, as I said, I did. I was so fortunate to have a solid group of friends, and so even though there were still really mean people, I was able to let that go more. And I was really into sports. I got really into sports when I was very young, and I've played sports all of my life. They saved my life. Oh, my goodness. They saved my life. And, of course, it was the opportunity to perform.

0:24:02 - (Marcy Langlois): I stopped playing sports. I was done everything by my sophomore year. And I also started having surgeries. The surgeries really intensified in my high school years. Like, I had my jaws broke two times in a row, and I had my nose reconstructed. I had plates and screws put in my face and taken out, and I had bone taken out of my hip and put in my jaws. And, I mean, I really went through it physically in high school, and so that was really difficult for me. My high school years were a lot of fun because I partied like a rock star.

0:25:08 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Wow. I mean, I can't help but. But just think again how the two components that you just described, they. They truly go hand in hand. The. The fact of the surgeries and dealing with that and the easy way to deal with it is through the drinking and drugs. Yeah. Wow. When we start talking about later years of high school, did you have plans for after high school at that point, like, as far as college or career paths or maybe just what you wanted to do with your life?

0:26:24 - (Marcy Langlois): You know, I'm feeling more confident because of the way I look now after all of these reconstructive surgeries. And then. So I'm looking forward to college and all of these things. And then in January of 94, my senior year, I was on my way to my after school job, and I got in a devastating car accident.

0:26:49 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. So I don't want to go into all the details because I don't want to traumatize your audience. That's really important for me. But essentially what happened was a car pulled out in front of me because he did not see me, and I hit that car broadside. And the three passengers that were in that car perished that day. And so that's still hard to talk about 30 years later. It's not hard to talk about, per se, but it's still tender, you know what I'm saying?

0:28:00 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. Wow, what a heavy thing for a child to have to deal with.

0:28:08 - (Kevin Lowe): At that time, were you drinking or on drugs?

0:28:48 - (Marcy Langlois): But, yeah, I was not doing drugs or alcohol when I got in that accident. Thank God.

0:28:56 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah.

0:29:11 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah, I, um. My life as I knew it and did that in that moment, I could not deal with anything. I was so shut down. You know, catastrophic trauma like that, our body is. Is really amazing at what it does to protect us when these events happen. So basically what happened is my body was flooded with a ton of chemicals that put me in shock. And I was in shock for years, literally years. I would wake up every day and not know if that accident had really happened. Like, I couldn't differentiate between what was really happening and not happening.

0:30:28 - (Marcy Langlois): So I went to college because my mom was like, you have to go to college. You have to go to college because you're killing yourself here, right? Like, you're. You're literally killing yourself. So I went to college, and I went to college for six or eight weeks. I can't remember six or eight weeks. I never attended one single class. All I did was get loaded, you know, just did drugs and drank all day, every day. Literally from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed.

0:31:35 - (Marcy Langlois): And my mom said, I'm going to come and get you. The only way I'm going to come and get you is if you leave. You have to. You have to put a plan in place, and you have to leave Vermont because you're going to end up killing yourself with drinking and drugging, and you just. You need a fresh start and you need to go somewhere else, and you. And you need to do something different. And I said, I'll do anything as long as you'll come pick me up. And so she came and got me.

0:32:37 - (Marcy Langlois): So, you know, that just fueled the drug and alcohol use, and I continued to do the same behavior.

0:32:53 - (Marcy Langlois): No, I just found people that did the exact same thing that I did, you know, that drank and drugged. I left Vermont in six months after I came home from college. And so I was living in Florida all by myself or with my friend at the time, and him and I left Vermont together. And so I was in Florida, and I just found people that drank and drugged just like I did. You know, people that were, you know, had their own trauma and their own life experiences that they hadn't recovered from, and those became my people.

0:33:34 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah.

0:33:42 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, yeah. Did you say earlier that when you were in high school originally, that you wanted to become a therapist?

0:33:58 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. So did you at all during this whole period ever see a therapist yourself?

0:34:39 - (Marcy Langlois): I just. I had so much stuff that I was contending with that therapy was not helpful for me at that time.

0:34:56 - (Marcy Langlois): That's right. That's right. Yes.

0:35:05 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. Until I was 27. So, ten years after the car accident, I got sober.

0:35:13 - (Marcy Langlois): It is a long. It is a long time. It is a really long time that I was completely abusing my body and making choices that weren't the best. But truthfully, drugs and alcohol kept me alive until I was able to face myself and really get some support and help that I actually needed. Had I not had drugs and alcohol and I would have just had to face the world every day in the condition that I was in, I am certain that I would have taken my own life.

0:35:56 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. I mean, I knew I had a problem with drugs and alcohol, really, for a very long time. I think I probably even knew it in high school, honestly. But I wasn't willing to give it up. But what happened was I met a woman who's now my wife, and she had a daughter who was eight at the time that her and I got together. We had been friends for years before that, and then we finally embarked on a relationship together, and her daughter was eight at the time.

0:36:59 - (Marcy Langlois): Literally, exactly the same thing that was done to you. And I was like, I'm not doing this. Like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not willing to put her through this. And sometime, I don't know exactly when, but sometime within the next ten days, I got clean and sober, and I've been clean and sober every day since March 25, 2003.

0:37:24 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. I've never touched a drink or a drug since that day. And I committed. I committed to myself that I was going to change my life, that this was the end. I was going to stop the cycle.

0:37:56 - (Marcy Langlois): It was. I mean, I woke up every day for the last several years that I drank. And I would say every day, I'm not going to drink today. And then within an hour or two, I'd be drinking again or using drugs because I desperately wanted to stop, but I could not. And so, yes, I did. I went to Aa, and I still go to aa. I still have a program of recovery. And, yeah, it was essential for me because I had to learn how to live a different way of life. But I'm open to all sorts of programs.

0:38:47 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah, absolutely. So now that you are truly just making this massive change in your life, how does life change for you both? Just on the day to day and then kind of big picture.

0:39:51 - (Marcy Langlois): So now that I stopped drinking, my body's like, good. Now you're here to pay attention. We're really going to lay it on you. I had chronic sinusitis. I mean, I had that all my life, but it really manifested when I stopped drinking. And then I started having heart palpitations, and then I started having, like, ten to 15, I don't even know, anxiety, panic attacks a day. And then I started having insomnia, and then my guts weren't right, and it was just like one thing after another after another.

0:40:52 - (Marcy Langlois): And so I was going to meetings and I had a career in mortgage banking, and I was very successful very quickly. What I now can clearly see is I switched addictions. I started working instead of drinking and drugging, and I worked as much as I drank and drugged. That was bad news for me and for my body and my family. And what ended up happening is my body kept deteriorating and I kept not listening. And my friend said, you know, you need to probably go see, like, a naturopath.

0:42:05 - (Marcy Langlois): And she said, you know, I'm really glad. And I think that it's incredibly amazing that you're clean and sober after all that you've been through. She said, but I can absolutely tell you 100% what your problem is. I said, oh, my God, thank you so much. What is it? And she said, it's this trauma that you just told me about. That trauma is stored in your body and your body is telling you no more. And until you deal with that trauma, you are going to continue to be sick or get more sick.

0:42:57 - (Marcy Langlois): I spent a lot of time in therapy. Sometimes I went three times a week. A lot. I went three times a week because that's how much support I needed as I started to unpack and uncover all of this stuff, that's really how my life changed, is that I got sober, and then I got these people that showed up in my life that were kind enough to tell me the truth of what I really needed to do. And I kept doing what people told me to do. I was willing to do the work, even if I thought, like, you're wrong or whatever. I still did it because I so desperately wanted relief.

0:43:59 - (Marcy Langlois): Right? Right.

0:44:16 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. So, unfortunately, things never really turned around for me.

0:44:23 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. So, as. I mean, they have in the last several years, but back in that time period, they really didn't. It was a continuous struggle. I had moments of clarity and moments of realization and self actualization and relief from putting things together and healing things and talking through things. But I only continued to get more ill. My body only continued to get worse as my, you know, my career was taking off. I was in the top 1% in my industry, and I was so committed to my career and my success and that my body continued to deteriorate. And in February of 21, I ended up. My body literally said, no more.

0:46:06 - (Marcy Langlois): But she, you know, she kept saying, oh, you got to take a break. So I'm like, okay, I'll take a week off at Christmas. I took the week off at Christmas, but then I went right back to work. And in February of 2021, my body said, no more. I was literally sitting at my computer working, and the tremors were so bad in my body and in my brain that I could not tell if the computer was moving, if the desk was moving, or if I was moving. I literally could not.

0:47:05 - (Marcy Langlois): And my body really literally came apart. It was terrifying. And what ended up happening is I was diagnosed with mast cell activation syndrome and histamine intolerance, which are life threatening conditions because they cause anaphylaxis and all sorts of other multi system issues within the body. So I spent the next 40 days bedridden. I had a three day stretch where I felt like I was dying for three.

0:48:07 - (Marcy Langlois): So I fully surrendered. And I realized that I would be so disappointed that if I died then, that I had not lived my life the way that I had wanted to. And I made a commitment to myself that if I could never recover or if I could fully recover or anything in between, that at the very least I was going to do was live my life the way that I wanted to. And how I meant that specifically is that I was going to love the people that I loved the most in my life life the way that they deserve to be loved.

0:49:12 - (Kevin Lowe): Wow. That's beautiful. That's really, really beautiful. Wow. Today, how is life look for you now as we sit here today?

0:50:01 - (Marcy Langlois): And so it has been a long, long haul. But I have finally learned at the root of all of this is that when the nervous system becomes fragmented, then the body cannot work correctly. It's impossible for the body to work correctly. And every time we experience trauma and experiences that are difficult for us, it fragments the nervous system, and that trauma stays embedded in the body. It changes the way the energy flows in the body.

0:50:55 - (Kevin Lowe): Interesting.

0:51:37 - (Marcy Langlois): I don't live in a state of guilt or shame or any of those things, the things from my past. I'm so grateful for every moment that has come before this moment, because I am fully aware that all of those moments were necessary to get me to this moment. Without them, I would not be who I am or where I am. So the gift is in the trials, the tribulations, the suffering, and I fully get that. And so today, my passion is about helping other people to get from the place that feels impossible.

0:52:21 - (Kevin Lowe): Yeah. Wow. Wow, wow. So, absolutely beautiful. I'm so happy for you, and I'm just so happy. I mean, we've just been walked through this story of all this adversity, all these challenges you've gone through, and yet to hear you talk about life today, I think it should bring any of us hope that if we're in a bad situation, it doesn't mean that it has to stay like that forever, that there is hope on the other side.

0:53:02 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. I mean, that's my. That's my hope for the show. Right? Like, that's why I came on here today. That's why I take the time to tell my story and rehash through all of that stuff is because it's to inspire people. It's to find the similarities that we all suffer, that we all struggle, that it doesn't matter what your story is compared to mine or mine compared to yours. It's not a comparison thing. It's where.

0:54:06 - (Marcy Langlois): I'm 100% certain that you can absolutely do that if you have the right tools and techniques.

0:54:37 - (Marcy Langlois): Yeah. Thank you so much for asking. I would love it if you would stay connected. And Kevin, I just have to say, you just make me smile the whole time I'm talking to you, you just make me smile. Your zest and energy for life is so amazing and for healing and wholeness and seeing, you know, people to the other side of difficulty and tragedy is. I just love it. So thank you so much. It's so easy to talk to you.

0:55:32 - (Marcy Langlois): I offer up to a 90 day coaching session with me. And essentially, you know, the people that are a really great fit for me are people who have been spinning their wheels for a long time. People who have maybe been in therapy for years and can't seem to figure out why they're still stuck. People who have been in recovery for a number of years and can't understand why they're still not happy. Those are the people that I am able to best serve.

0:56:14 - (Kevin Lowe): Amazing. You are so awesome. Thank you so much. I will be positive for the person interested in taking you up on that offer. I'll be sure that everything you just said is all in today's show notes. For easy access. For anybody interested in taking advantage of your just amazing generosity. Lastly, but certainly not least, is me. Just wanting once again to thank you for. For being so open, so honest, so real and vulnerable today to.

0:57:13 - (Marcy Langlois): Oh, thank you so much. This made my day. Really, honestly, I'm just so, so grateful.

0:57:49 - (Kevin Lowe): This is Kevin Lowe with grit, grace, and inspiration.