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Are you feeling trapped in a cycle of constant achievement, always chasing the next big goal but never truly feeling satisfied or fulfilled?

In this eye-opening episode of "The Story in Your Head" podcast, host Ron Macklin sits down with Krisstina, a former high-achieving entrepreneur who experienced a profound transformation after a health crisis forced her to reevaluate her priorities and identity.

Krisstina shares her journey from being a "super performer" constantly seeking external validation to embracing a life of meaning, connection, and joy. She discusses the cultural narratives that drive us to prioritize achievement over well-being and offers insights on how to break free from these limiting beliefs.

Throughout the conversation, Ron and Krisstina explore topics such as the importance of creating space for gratitude, the power of surrender, and the concept of essentialism in both material possessions and life experiences. They also delve into the significance of human connection and how it relates to our overall happiness and sense of fulfillment.

If you're ready to reclaim joy and connection in your life while still pursuing your goals, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in to discover how you can rewrite your own story and create a life that's truly meaningful and satisfying.

Upcoming Workshop

Make 2025 the year of you! A goal without a plan is just a wish. Get these resources from Krisstina's planning workshop to stop wishing and start planning in 2025.

wisemoneyplanningworkshop.com

Key Takeaways

5:13 Transitioning from performer to teacher

11:29 Surrendering to the process of life

17:29 Essentialism: Simplifying life for meaning

23:16 Reflecting on regret and missed experiences

34:48 Reversing priorities for fulfillment

40:47 Rewriting our personal narratives

Memorable Quotes

"I realized that I didn't have any space. That's one of those big awarenesses and realizations. But also just, I didn't have a lot of gratitude. There wasn't space for gratitude yet I had so much to be grateful for."

"Money is such a great mirror and such a great learning tool to create more awareness. By asking the question 'How much money is enough?' we can create some satisfaction."

"Our narrative is in our story. To sum this up, it's what story are we in? We are the writers, we're the authors of our own story. We can change. We can write a different chapter."

Connect with Krisstina

Website - https://wealthywellthy.life/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/krisstinawise

YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@krisstinawise

Krisstina's Book, Falling For Money - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692560904/

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Podcast Production & Marketing by FullCast

Episode 64, Reclaiming Joy and connection in a high performance world with Christina Wise. Welcome to the Story in your Head. I'm Ron Macklin and today Deb, myself and guest Christina Wise discuss her journey as she moved from being a super performer constantly seeking external validation through a health crisis that led her to confront her priorities and ultimately surrender her old identity. Hi, I'm Ron Macklin, the host of the Story in youn Head podcast a nd the founder of Imaginal Community, a new virtual space where you can discover how to change the world one relationship at a time. In the Imaginal Community, you can ask us questions, take online classes and learn and grow with others who are transforming their relationship with themselves and with others. It's like social media for self discovery. So to continue the conversation with us, join us over in the Imaginal Community by following the link in the show notes. We're excited to see you there. Welcome to the Story in youn Head podcast. Our guest today is Christina Wise. Christina, could you just give a short introduction like a 10 story elevator speech?

Oh, gosh, that's always a hard one. You know, what I do at this stage of life which I call the second act, that means that the first act was really about proving myself, you know, being, being young and super ambitious and all about the outcome and accomplishment and the number of medals I could hang on my wall and just in that energy all the time. The second act is where I think many of us that were students in the game for so long and we're again just cranking, cranking, cranking. We finally reached just a level of life and maybe success that now we're becoming the teachers. And Ron, I put you in that category with what you're doing here. I just call myself a teacher these days. And what I love to teach is about life, but how money is so important to life and how money is this topic that is misunderstood in many cases and rules people's lives many times in a negative way or money's ruling them in a way that they're not aware of that's actually creating a lot of havoc in life in many cases. So now I love to teach money and how it's applicable to living a good life.

Thanks, Christina. So with your like, there was a transition when from I'm the performer out to outperform, win and compete in the world and where I'm a teacher. What is the story in your head that changed as you went from I'm after this to I want to help others in that space, you know, for.

Me, I had a more pivotal moment that was not. It wasn't. It wasn't chosen necessarily. I had a being, like we said, like the super performer for so long. And part of that story, and the story in my head at that time was that how I validated me and how I could feel important and how I could feel worthy and meaningful was really attached to my accomplishments. So unless I was accomplishing and unless I was always doing the next thing and next thing and next thing, you know, there is wherever I got to that rung on the ladder that wasn't good enough. It must good enough must be at the second one, at the next one, the next one. And that was just. That never stopped. No matter what rung of the ladder I got to, I never felt good about myself. It's like, all right, there's got to be something more. And I was competitive in the sense that when people. When I compared myself to my peers and I felt less than that, I wanted to go, you know, be good enough there. So I'd say the story in my head before, you know, moment in my life was that it's just I was in that not good enough story, even though, unbeknownst to me, I didn't know I was in that story. So I. I just pushed myself all the time in all categories, you know, identified with being a marathon runner. So I. Running a marathon wasn't enough. I had to run Boston Marathon. You know, just being a performer in business, it's whatever I got to. I had to do the next level sort of thing. And I just. I didn't. I thought sleep was for the week, you know, that. You know, just constant, all these narratives. And then that seemed to work really well until one day it didn't work anymore. And I found myself in a pretty serious health crisis. And that basically my world came crumbling down. I didn't realize I'd really built a house of cards. And part of that house of cards is I created a life with myself where everything really relied on me. So the day that I broke, everything around me broke with me. And so my business started crumbling because I was no longer there. I was fighting for my life and for my health. We couldn't figure out what's wrong. And it's interesting going through that about a year and a half journey, that was a very dark place for, you know, for 18 months or so. But what I discovered in kind of the first half of that process, interestingly enough, is I just wanted to get well, to get back to my old life. That I just. But I couldn't get back to it. So that just made it worse because I thought, what if I'm stuck here forever? What if I can never get back to that life? Who am I? I'm nobody sitting there. All my friends are going away. All my accomplishments are going away. Wow. They replaced me in two seconds. You know, being a big performer on stages and different things. And that was, like, the first half of that. And then finally I just. I started because I couldn't do anything other than just kind of be with myself for so long. I couldn't be distracted by all the success and all the, you know, production that I was always working on. That. It started to occur to me that there's. There's more of a message here. And I started to realize things that, you know, then it's really like, oh, my gosh, like, I wasn't really happy in that life, even though I thought I was. I wasn't really wasn't happy. And I missed most so much of my life. And I put my whole life on hold for someday in the future when I'd really enjoy things because I had so much to accomplish before then. So just all these lessons started happening, and I finally. It's interesting, once I surrendered to that, I started getting, well, like, kind of coincidentally, we found something. We found a diagnosis, and I'd surrendered, like, letting go of that old self. And then I just started just transforming in a way, is starting to realize that life is. Life is different than I thought it was. So that was that journey, going through that. And I just realized, like, oh, I'm not attached to old life and identity at all. I can completely reinvent my life exactly the way I want to. I don't have to be stuck in that story any longer. And it was at that moment, that transition, where I came out of that. I sold my old businesses, I walked away. I kind of set a torch on everything else and really woke up with this place. Like, who am I now? And what do I want to do and who do I want to be? And it's not like I knew what that was. It just occurred to me kind of over time as I sat with the white canvas. And that was a scary moment, because being so attached to who I was and then knowing that wasn't that anymore and I didn't want to do that anymore. It's like, oh, my gosh, like, what am I? And it took a little bit of a discovery process, but that's when I moved into this. Like, I have a Lot of wisdom now. I have a lot of experience, and I can teach the good aspects that. That I had at that time. But I can also teach what I missed by being stuck in, I'd say more of a cultural narrative of performance, of production, of put your life on hold, that someday, all xyz. And in the meantime, I'm just going to keep hustling through with what I'm doing.

Christina, you used jump in here. You used a word that's one of my favorite words. And I hold that. I had to learn what it meant for me. And that is surrender. Right? What does surrender mean for you? How do you use the word surrender for the stories you tell yourself?

Well, I mean, for me, again, I kind of. For me, I have this, like, before Christina and after Christina. Like, I have these two really juxtaposed people, I guess, and, you know, in this one body. But for me, there was no. It was all, like, in this. In the story of performance and doing all the time, it's always about this big result at the end and all these carrots to hit that result. And so I would call it a very forceful energy. I just forced my way through everything, even if I didn't want to. But it's like it's a marathon mentality. You just. You. Even in marathoning, there's a part of suffering, like, you just suffer through it just to get to the line, right? Just to hit your time. And it doesn't matter if you enjoyed it or not. It's not even about joy. It's just about the result. So I'd say so much of that, you know, journey that. The good metaphor of life and now surrendering, it's like, hey, I can set goals and intentions. I can. I can, because I still do. I still have dreams and goals and intentions. But I'd move it from, like, this goal or this target that I have to hit at all costs and force my way and will my way and push my way to attain that to now. It's similar that there's a goal and intention, maybe, but surrendering to how I get there, it's. It's more universal. It's a more. It's a. It's a more flow. It's more be joyful in the process. Like, great. If I hit the result, awesome. But I can change my mind at any time. So it's really surrendering to the process in a way that's just. Again, it's just more joyful because it's not attached to the result. The result is just the direction. So, yeah, it's just kind of surrounding more to the universe in a way, like, all right, well, I thought it was going this way, but I'm getting messages to go that way so I can let that one go. And now I'm going to flow over here because this appears to be a better way. Yeah, I really love that. I mean, how, how. And I identify with the shift from doing to being right. You do, do, do. And that makes you. Well, you think it makes you happy or you're going to get some accomplishment out of it to actually just being. And there's a lot of joy in that. And I was, I was triggered to think I'll be happy when, like, I've said that to myself a lot of times. And that's what I heard in your story of before, when you were doing, okay, well, I'll. I can just do this for whatever reason it is, for the notoriety or whatever, but then I'll be happy when. And fill in the blank. I've done the Boston Marathon. I've done whatever it is, right. Like take the Boston Marathon, for example. Now, great. It was a big goal because I had to sit a certain time and, you know, the level of rigor and discipline and training. And so there's a lot of virtue in that because, you know, not very few people can run the Boston Marathon, for example, out of all the marathon runners. But it's still the. That attachment to the outcome, it was the. So part of surrendering is letting go of the attachment, too. So it's learning to be joyful with what we have, for example, without being attached to what we have. So part of what I'm teaching, stuff with money, for example, people, they go through this whole process and they're realizing, like, oh, I'm attached to so much stuff like, so even the process of cleansing of, like, I don't need this, this anymore. I don't get that anymore. I don't need to spend money on this anymore. I don't need to spend money on that. But again, that's the spiritual law of. It's the, it's the law of attachment or the law of being unattached is to find joy, to be in the, in the process, towards the outcome. But to love the running experience, to love the joy of the social and, you know, camaraderie, if you, if you hit, if you finish or not, isn't that important. You can, you can be joyful in the direction of that big goal. So, but we're in this. We're in A cultural story, a narrative of be more, have more, do more, do more, be more, have more. And so the. The key word, there's more. It's like it's always about more. There's no satisfaction. We've not learned to be satisfied and content with who we are right now, with what we have right now. Because. And that's it. That's kind of that. That narrative. So it's moving like more isn't always better. In many cases, less is more. Like less is better. And then not being attached to that outcome, be attached to that thing, be attached to that result necessarily. And if we don't, it's like, is there a lesson to learn there? Or something? But just, again, just be more in the joy of the discovery process and the curiosity of living.

Christina, in your program, you have a word for that. Did you share that word and how you chose that word? Essentialism. Essentialism.

Essentialism.

Essentialism, right.

Yeah, yeah. Essentialism is one that. The kind of. The key motto of essentialism is less is more, is it's choose to be. Like, when it comes to things and objects, it's asking the question like, is this essential in my life? Is it meaningful? Is essential? Does it bring joy? Does it bring real? Does it have real practical applicability? Does it. Is there a story around it? You know, something that's really brings importance? And then when we can make decisions by is this essential? Does it really add meaning to my life? Or is it just another thing? Or is it just another thing on my to do list? We can look through this lens of essentialism and again, it just simplifies things. It makes things easier. It's like we can say no to a lot more things.

And what I've noticed is it's not just that we don't spend the money and we have the money in the bank to do that. There's a different way of being in the world of like at your own home in the world and where you go when you don't have all that stuff.

Yeah, I mean, stuff is. Stuff can be metaphorical, but it can feel really heavy. Right. So we just, we just. It's like, oh, if there's room over that, in that corner, let me buy something to put in that corner. Oh, if there's, if there's empty cabinets and we need to fill the cabinets and. And then. So now I. I read something. This has been probably five or six years ago, so I don't know if it's still accurate, but I think the, the message is still there. Is that we spend more in this country on storage than we do in going to the movies. So, you know, just when it comes to so much stuff, for example, we have storage units where we're keeping extra stuff, and then all of our cupboards are full. And it's just. It can be looking like we just fill, fill, fill. When we look at our time and our calendar, you know, it's just filled up and then. And, you know, where are we creating space? You know, time, space for time to space to just. Just be present. You know, that can be meditation. It can just be thinking time. It can be just looking out and going for a walk and looking at the mountains and just knowing that there can be joy in this space. But we just pack everything that. We don't even take the time to say, am I living joyful? Because we're just in that rat race of, you know, go, go, go in kind of again, led by this subconscious cultural narrative of be more, have more, do more. And to compare myself to everybody else that appears to be doing more, having more, and being more one way or.

Another, I'm always pleasantly surprised at how peaceful it is to be in a motel because there's no commitments there. I don't have to do or think or put away or get any place to do something. I'm just there to be. And the idea of shaping our homes that way, where you can just be in your home versus you have this holistic commitments.

Yeah, exactly. In a way, too, like being in a place where we're not distracted. So another thing we do when we're in this whole thing is it's filling every moment and filling every cupboard, let's say, one way or another, and then filling ourselves, maybe with more commitments. But then we're just. So then we're so tired, or people are so anxious, or there's something. And so then there's the. Let's say, time, where they're filling it with the to do list. One way or another, everybody feels like. I mean, who gets close to ever getting everything done on their to do list? So it just grows and grows and grows. So it's not like we make any headway on there. We just keep adding to it. Then there's a moment in time of like, man, I'm just exhausted, or, man, I have a lot of anxiety, or, oh, I just. One way or another, I'm not happy. Even if it's not a conscious thought, it's kind of the feeling. So on the other side of that, when it's not in this segment of what we're doing, the other piece is numbing and distracting. So then people numb and distract maybe by alcohol or drugs, or they numb by maybe over exercising. I think that was my way to numb back then is I didn't have to think when I was out riding a bike for 100 miles or when I was running my 15 mile, you know, practice run or something. You know, I was just kind of. I was going through that. But it's a way that I didn't. It was a way for my. Me to separate myself from my other commitments. But in one way, I'm. Again, I'm numbing, maybe not having to deal with certain things I didn't want other things I want to deal with. With a good excuse not to, right? When I'm gone for four or five hours on. On some training event or going to a race. But it could be Netflix and tv. You know, I read another thing that the average number of hours that a person is on their devices is about five hours a day. So you think that, you know, when we're not at work or doing these things or maybe responsibility of kids and, you know, things, then we're going straight to distraction and numbing mode. So again, there's no space in there to just be present, to just be joy, to experience joy, just to do nothing other than, oh, my God, look at the mountains, look at life. I'm here. I have so much gratitude. And I like to just say, create space for gratitude, to just be thoughtful about. Man, I'm so grateful. And that was part of my learning journey of when I was going through my illness is I realized that I didn't have any space. That's one of those big awarenesses and realizations. But also just, I didn't have a lot of gratitude. There wasn't space for gratitude yet. I had so much to be grateful for. But I was more in a place of dissatisfaction all the time because there's always the next accomplishment that was, you know, somewhere in the horizon. So it's looking just for satisfaction, for gratitude, for, you know, like, laughter, joy in our faces. And it's usually in these moments where it's those. It exists in these moments and spaces of time when we're not in all these commitments and pressing and when we're not distracted. So that's what's missing are those places where we can just be with a friend and just over coffee in the middle of the day and just like, hey, just, let's just chat it up or let's Go for a walk or let's do a little meditation or let me just sit outside and listen to the birds sing, or let me go with my spouse and really ask them how they're doing. Like, how does it feel to be you today and really listen and be present and be present for others versus kind of we talk about the story in our head, but we're just always in our head. It's like, let's get it out of our head in our story, and let's just be present with maybe with somebody else's. And there's so much joy in that. It's just there's the joy in the connection, connecting with one another, like, really connecting. Connecting with nature, like really connecting. Connecting with our children versus, like, you know, mom or dad, like, you need to do this or do that or rushing around to this practice or that practice, but really connecting. So I think, again, in this whole thing, we're just not connecting human to human. And that's where our joy. That's where the most joyful experiences are and the memories are. Are in these connected experiences that, you know, that we. Collective connected experiences. Yeah. It seems that our culture just perpetuates this, like, stay busy. You know, I even think you. You mentioned it. You know, the kids are laying on the couch, and I'm like, hey, there's dishes to be done or something. There's something to fill that space versus just, hey, great. I'm glad you're taking some time for you reading a book or just being.

Are you looking to strengthen your relationships, whether personally or professionally? You want to learn how to build authentic connections faster? Or perhaps you're looking to beat employee burnout through the power of connection. My name is Ron Macklin, founder of Macklin Connection, and in our workshops, we teach you the fundamentals of how to do exactly that and more. To learn more of the power of your relationship, Visit us@macklinconnection.com.

So how do we shift the culture? I mean, you had a medical epiphany, I might say. I mean, I know Covid has had a big effect on people, but how do we start shifting the culture to find that joy and find that time for ourselves? That's a good question. So part of the darkness that I went through, going through that kind of horrific experience. Experience, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, by the way. That. Because I just woke up to so many lessons because I had nothing to do but stare in the ceiling for, you know, every day for, you know, months on end. But Part of the. The Dark piece was I felt so much regret and shame. Those were really difficult because I just avoided feelings. Again, when you're productive and busy all the time and accomplish. Accomplishing and, you know, those is kind of super performers. Those of us are really good at these things or appears to. We appears to be so that, you know, I never slowed down to feel really. I was just. I was just always in production. And so when I was forced basically to sit with my feelings and then a lot of these different feelings start emerging. But one of those feelings was, you know, I remember this distinct thought is like, oh, my God, I'm dying and I haven't even lived yet. And here was. Somebody had all these string of accomplishments and was really, you know, had a lot of notoriety and fame in my industry and all the things that you would think would make one really happy and good money and the different things. But what I realized when I was, you know, kind of on that deathbed, I had so much regret. Like, oh, my God, that was. The thing is, like, I missed it. Like, I've just been in this story that. This kind of. This cultural story. And what I thought, you know, this not good enough that was built in from my own childhood, that was kind of ruling me, kind of exacerbated by the cultural narrative that really fit with that story. But I realized, like, I just missed so much life. I missed the joy, I missed the peace. I missed certain memories. I mean, again, the regret was so big. And we. We hear those stories all the time. And it's like, you know, you're never on your deathbed. You're never going to worry about that last sales call or something that you seem to seem so important today. And we're like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, that's so obvious, you know, but no, when you're going through it, it's so true. Like, you. You give an F about all this stuff. It's like you just want your life. You just want to live. You want your life back. You want those moments that you missed. You. You just start. I mean, you're just forced with the feelings of what's most important. And. And that I just gave so much importance to things that in the grand scheme of things just weren't important. So now my life is governed by meaning, importance, and experiences. And that's. And then in the journey, in the process, and finding joy in the process again. And it's. It's not about the outcome. The outcomes are there, like I said, for the direction, for. To keep the momentum going and being excited about it, but then it's not about the outcome. So it's. It's kind of a different orientation. But just. Yeah, that's. That's the big thing is that regret and then just so much shame attached to. Oh, my gosh, you know, a lot of it was around my children that, you know, that there's so much time that I was just keeping, you know, got to do this. Got to do this, you know, like military mom or something. And, you know, and not being present or home for a lot of things because I was always off chasing the next thing. And so there was a shame as a mother that I was really faced with also. And, you know, the good thing is I got to go repair a lot of stuff that, you know, I kind of messed up maybe in the past. But I just say that. That. That's why I say the space is so important so we can start feeling these things and to create that space, to like, wow, I. If I. If I. This were to happen, then. Then would I feel shame? Would I feel regret and help us to kind of reprioritize things? And to your point, to your question is, you know, we just. I think it comes with more awareness. We just have to separate ourselves from kind of the cultural narrative a little bit more and by our. And just create more awareness and more, you know, connection with self, more spirituality and just, you know, start taking more control over our lives in a way that's oriented around the question is, what is a good life? Like, what is a good life? And, you know, we just go through the drifting. You know, Napoleon Hill had this great book that's called Outwitting the Devil. And it's a great story behind that book. It wasn't released for, like, 50 years later because the family didn't want it be released at the time because they thought it would just. It was just too culturally offensive in a way that. When he wrote the book. But one of. I think it's just such a great read. But one of the. He talks about there's the Drifter that we just go through life drifting, and it's just so easy to drift. We get stuck in the same routine. We get up every day, alarm goes off, and every day looks like the day before, the day before, the day before that, with a few little, you know, variations day to day. But ultimately, we're just so habitualized. We're going through our life. Kind of unaware, subconscious programming that's still running and ruling and not enough space to take time to even reflect on our lives. And we want to get out of drift. We want to sit back and take some time and space to say, what is a good life? What is it? And think about it. If it's individual or collective, with a spouse or a partner, but it's really, you know, visualizing and creating this. And it's. How is it different than what our life is today? Like, how much joy do we have in our life? How much peace do we have in our life? How much money do we have in our life? And getting to the place to ask the question is, what's good enough? Like, what's a life? That if life looked just like this, it's damn good. And how much money does it cost to live it? So how much money is enough? So even by answering the question, that's why I love money. Money is such a great mirror and such money is such a great learning tool to us. Create more awareness. Like, we're talking about, you know, just being attached to stuff, for example, or buying. But with money, by asking the question is how much money is enough? Then that can create some satisfaction as, hey, life is really good where it is, and we have so much to be grateful for. So let's really reflect on. On what we have today and who we are today and who we've become today. Because it's been quite a journey getting here. So it's sitting with satisfaction and presence and gratitude for being alive and from having a roof over our heads and all these, you know, all the things we can be grateful for. At the same time, it's like, and what is a good life that's good enough that we want to move towards, you know, that this is what. That's the growth piece. Because we're either growing or we're dying one way or another. So that we're growing towards. It's less about accomplishment and more about growth. And then looking at these things and then being in the journey of that and then being in the joy of, like, wow, look where. Let's reflect where we were last year at this time compared to where we are this time. Look how far we've come. Look what we've overcome. And again, just being in these types of conversations. But we can't. We can't reflect. We can't create new awareness. We can't create new consciousness. We're not conscious when we're in, you know, Napoleon Hill's Word of Drifting. So I'd say that it's just creating more space. It starts with more space. It's Starting to ask more of these philosophical questions of, you know, where I like to start is what is a good life and how much does it cost to live it? And then what's our journey to get from A to B over what period of time?

Christina, as you went through this journey, and sometimes I'm trying to think of how it would look to me if I hadn't gone through some similar journey myself. But like for Pillman on the outside looking in, they would go, yeah, but that's them. I can't do that because it's all so big and so impressive and all that stuff, right? What are some of the. If you, if you're open, like, what are the simple things that show up to you that you get that are just like so small but yet they're the ones you treasure? Simple stuff that you go, now you go, I couldn't get. That is something I love more than anything else. What is there? Do you have any of those?

I mean, I'm not sure I'm following the question. Like an example of. Give me an example. Like, what would be an example to you?

Yes, perfect. So part of my journey was that I had a story that I had to be a certain thing before somebody could love me, right. I had to earn some income. I had to, you know, I had to make certain moves, I had to present myself a certain way. I had to all those things. I had a story in my head. That's what I had to do. And I realized that I made it to where I could not accept unconditional love. I had to be something before somebody could love me. I wouldn't love them unless I did that. And then it was like, I can really just accept my wife's love just because it's my wife loving me. And we can sit there and look at each other and that's as good as it gets. And if I told you, oh yeah, Connie and I, we just look at each other and then people go like, I do that. I didn't used to. I mean, I do it when we were first dating, but we're 42 years into dating and we still look at each other that way and it's gotten better, not worse. So those are some of the simple things. In fact, I share this because we were. We also ride, but we don't ride. Like we ride 100 mile rides on our bike, but we don't. Not competitive. There's no time to go for us to get there. It's the journey for us anyway. We stopped at a store somewhere and my wife was. I was holding the bikes, right? And the woman was working there at the cash register to check her out. And she goes, that's your husband over there. She goes, yeah, you can tell because he's got bike stuff on. So do I go, no, I can tell the way he's looking at you. That's your husband. And I remember staring at her, looking at her, watching her go through the line, go, wow, look at. Watch her doing this. And this is cool. And just happy to be in the world with her. And it showed up for other people. But how much did that cost? Nothing. And we can still do that today just by being a store, being in the kitchen, being in the bathroom, being in life. Those are the simple things that are probably the most viable things for us, for me. And to know that I can accept her love unconditionally. I don't have to be something to get that. I can just be. So that's how it shows up for me. And it was through the journey I went through to get to this place where I couldn't. You can't buy that. It doesn't take any money to do that. Or maybe it didn't take any currency. It takes a whole lot of money to be able to have that story, say we are one. That's my story. That's how I share it with others. We have a lot of those. Are we finding them more all the time? Date night or. For me also, there is a space where you go on a bike ride, get out in the world, but there's no pace, there's no race, there's no nothing. Right. There's watching the trees and watching the road and being safe and watching and being in the world. Powerful for me.

Yeah, you say that it is. It's being in the world, which is a great documentary, by the way, and you said quite a few things. I mean, one thing, I think it's universal. I mean, the universal feeling is not good enough. And so much of our adulthood is playing out. That subconscious belief is I'm not good enough until, you know, I'm not lovable unless. And I just think it's part of the human condition that we're all playing that out. And, you know, younger, we're completely unaware. And maybe well into adulthood, people don't realize that they're still struck by that story or kind of owned and controlled. So I think that is the first piece of work for everybody, is to start, is to do that journey's work, to get to the place like I am. Lovable because I'm here. Like I'm. I'm human. I'm here like, and being all identified, like I'm a good person. I am lovable. I'm all these things that's not attached to the accomplishment. I'm lovable because I'm loving and I'm kind and I'm generous and, and I can love people, you know, and, and I'm lovable. So I think that's that piece that we've got to figure out is getting to that wholeness and that centerness. Like I am lovable. And to love ourselves because until we know, until we really love ourselves in complete wholeness, our virtues, our vices, knowing we're growing to become better, going to be, become more aware, to be easier to be around, you know, where people want to spend time and, and that. But it's, that's the work that's really, that's just, that's kind of the internal spiritual work to get to that place. Because if we're, unless we do that work, we're in that story. I mean, I shared that same story as you, Ron. Like, I'm not good enough unless I've got all these accomplishments attached to my name. And then that's what I was faced with when I was no longer performing. And out in the real world, that's what I was confronted with, is like, who am I if I'm not those things? Who am I if I don't have a 2,000 person audience that's giving me a state of innovation at the end of a speech? You know, who am I? And so I spent so much time caring about that, that those people didn't love me. Like I said that when I was sick and gone, they replaced me with the next keynote speaker in two seconds flat that was able to create the next person that got standing ovations like I was, you know, So I gave so much importance to this external validation, to that external world. And I was missing the validation and the, and just the peace at home and the love that would be within my hope for home walls, that I was spending so much time out there to try to get some validation when I had real love within my home that I was kind of escaping from in a way. So I think that's like, Ron, that's. You make just. I think that's profound and it's, it's ubiquitous that we all are faced with that and we either do that work or that we don't. And the, the peace of mind and the peace comes from Just being with the word is love is like, wow. My best moments are when I get to look into my wife's eyes or when she looks into mine. That's that connection, and that's whatever. That's kind of this thing that everybody's searching for. We're searching for that feeling of being loved and. But, you know, part of that is we need to love ourselves and we need to love others and then welcome the love back. It's like. Like you said, it's like accepting, like, wow, this person really loves me. Well, of course, because I'm lovable. You know, in a way, there's so much. But like I said, that's part of the work. But I think the key word there is. Is love. Like, we're. Again, we're more focused on accomplishment than we're focused on love. And there's this one. Oh, gosh, what's his name? Maybe he'll come to me in a second. He's really big right now. He's. He just wrote a book, mate. Oh, I'll think of his name in a minute. But he says that right now we're more connected than ever with social media and technology and that type of thing. So it's so interesting that we're really more connected than we've ever been. But the question is, why is anxiety, depression, suicide, drug addiction higher than it's ever been by a long shot? The statistics are staggering. And so this has been. His work, is to study this. And he said, you know, if I were to boil it all down to why, you know, we're just at kind of this place of existential crisis in so many ways for so many people. It's because people feel disconnected. So it's this. Even though, you know, we're supposedly connected, people feel disconnected. They feel like they don't relate, you know, but they're trying to go get these little dopamine hits by social media or by, you know, again, these different things out there and being distracted and numbed by these things. But at the end of the day, we're not connecting. So to your point, Ron is like the real joy comes in, you know, in love, in connection to connection. And then when we make it about that, it's like everything is in reverse order. It's that when we make life about wellness, like, about being healthy mentally, physically, emotionally, about love and connection, about joy and peace and. And experience in a way. Like, when that's. When that's what everything's about, then it's like, okay, what is the work that we do support that versus, you know, I'm going to do all these work and maybe at the end of some period of time, I can get the joy and the peace and the serenity and blah, blah, blah. So, yeah, it's just reversing it. So my. My story is the same. It's, it's. But I want to say something too, which is like. So I'd say it just. It comes with awareness because I'm laughing. You know, you ask me, like, how much skiing have you get done? So I catch myself all the time like this. This way of being is so deeply embedded. It's not like it's gone away, it's still there, but it's my awareness of it. So I'm still. I still very ruled by getting stuff done, right. Because I like. I still like accomplishment. I still like these things. So, you know, I find myself, like, not going to ski this week. I've got so many things to do. Maybe next week or maybe next year, but it's like, no, put the work away. Nothing's going to change, and just get out on the mountain and enjoy it. Like you're, you know. But it's awareness of, like, oh, there it is. It's ruling again. It's just. It's right there. The world's not going to end if, you know, if I wrap it up early on Friday and go hit the mountain for three or four hours. So I just want to say that, too. It's not like that. That tendency goes away because I know for me, it's just so wired in, but it's like, no, I'm not going to let that rule me. I'm in charge here, and I'm going to go enjoy this epic snow season versus letting this one get away.

That's great. Thanks, Christina. First, I want to say I'm really glad you went down that bad journey, because that's where we met, right? Our roads crossed because we were on that journey independently but together, and that's how we met the first time. So I get it and I appreciate that you're here and what you're doing. Is there anything else you'd like to share with our listeners before we get started? Like, how would they find you? Where would they. What should they. What do you recommend for them? Anything that you want to share with them?

Yeah, I'd say two things. I have a podcast also. We have a lot of these types of conversations, and it's called the Wealthy Wealthy Podcast. And Ron, you've been on there, so having similar conversations with, you know, what I call super performers who have changed their life one way or another to that I think there's some really good nuggets and lessons. Because you think too, you know, some of the idols that are out there kind of in the, in the business or performance world, they're telling the same story. They're just, they're working all the time. It's about, you know, it used to be, you know, 100 million dollar company. Now it's, everybody has to be a billionaire and a billion dollar company. And so again, just to really, you know, just you. Those are the common examples. So I like to bring other examples. Like, no, there's a whole different way to live. That's, that's very different than that. So that's my Wealthy Wealthy podcast. And otherwise another. Other than that, my website is called Wealthy Wealthy. And there's lots, I do lots of blogging and podcasting and if anybody wants to follow, that's easy way to find me.

No, thanks. I've listened to many of your episodes. I can't say I've listened to all of them, but I've listened to many of your episodes and it's when it comes out, I always look forward to who's on there and what we can get to. So you do a great job. Thank you.

Well, thank you.

And thank you for being on our podcast today.

Great. Thank you. Christina.

Thank you so much. Thanks for listening to the podcast today. At Macklin Connection, we believe making authentic connections with others can literally change your world. We invite you to share this podcast with one person that you care about. Maybe it's someone you haven't spoken with in a really long time and you'd love to reconnect. Or maybe it's the first person that pops into your head when you listen to this podcast because you thought it would be perfect for them. Thanks again for listening, and we'll see you next time.