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Proverbs — Message 5 - Relationships and Counsel: Who You Walk With Determines Where You Land.
Episode 20930th April 2026 • The Message with NJ • Njabulo James
00:00:00 00:07:22

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The profound significance of relationships is articulated through the lens of wisdom and companionship in the fifth message concerning Proverbs. The central tenet, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20), underscores the paramount importance of selecting one's company judiciously. This discourse illuminates the notion that our relational affiliations are not merely passive; rather, they actively shape our character and destiny. It is posited that individuals often overlook the detrimental influence of foolish companionship while remaining vigilant against more overt threats. As discussed, many seek divine intervention for personal breakthroughs, unwittingly tethered to destructive relationships that hinder their progress. The speaker implores the audience to engage in a critical audit of their social circles, categorizing individuals into those who elevate one's character and those who detract from it—thus promoting a proactive approach to relational management. The exhortation is clear: to ascend in life, one must surround themselves with individuals capable of imparting wisdom and accountability rather than those offering mere agreement or comfort.

Takeaways:

  • The individuals with whom one associates significantly influence one's personal growth and future outcomes.
  • Engaging with wise companions fosters wisdom, while aligning with foolish individuals results in inevitable harm.
  • Seeking counsel before crises arise is a prudent strategy that can avert unnecessary turmoil and distress.
  • Real friendships are characterized by mutual growth and challenge, rather than mere agreement and comfort in one's flaws.

Transcripts

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Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

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Proverbs:

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Today we're talking about relationships because many destinies didn't die from demons, they died from company.

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Some people are praying for breakthrough while holding hands with breakdown.

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Brothers and sisters, God can elevate you, but he won't drag your circle with you.

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In today's message, we're talking about relationships and counsel.

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Who you walk with determines where you land.

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You know it's wild.

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Some people can detect witchcraft from 3km away.

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But they can't detect foolishness in their best friend.

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They'll say, pastor, pray for me.

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The devil is attacking.

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But the truth is the devil is not attacking.

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The devil is texting.

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He is in the group chat.

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He's in the let's go out quick, friend.

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He's in the don't listen to your wife or your husband advice.

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Proverbs:

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Suffer harm, meaning your circle is not neutral.

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Your circle is shaping you.

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Point one of the message Wisdom is contagious and so is foolishness.

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Walk with the wise and become wise.

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Notice it doesn't say walk with the wise and stay the same.

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You become what you repeated exposures of to.

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If you walk with disciplined people, discipline will rub off.

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If you walk with generous people, generosity will rub off.

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If you walk with bitter people, you will start tasting bitterness as normal.

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If you walk with lazy people, you'll start calling laziness rest.

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And Proverbs says, the companion of fools suffers harm, not might suffer harm suffers harm.

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How many problems in your life are not spiritual attacks but relationship attachments?

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Corinthians:

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Bad company doesn't just change your mood, it changes your morals, your standards, your habits and your future.

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The wrong friends will clap while you sabotage yourself.

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Point two of the message Pride rejects counsel and pays in pain.

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Proverbs:

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A fool is not always ignorant.

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A fool is not all is often teachable.

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The fool is often unteachable.

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They don't want advice, they want agreement.

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They don't want correction, they want applause.

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They don't want wisdom, they want comfort.

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Proverbs:

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So here's a prosperity principle.

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Brothers and sisters, if you want to go further, you need people who can tell you the truth.

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Not people who hype you.

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Not people who flatter you.

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Not people who say you're always right.

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No, people who can say the decision is foolish.

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The hat habit is killing you.

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That attitude will block your favorite.

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Pride loves privacy.

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Wisdom loves accountability.

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Point three of the message.

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Iron sharpens iron.

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Real friends challenge you.

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Proverbs:

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Sharpening is not soft.

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Sharpening has friction.

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Sharpening has heat.

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Sharpening has resistance.

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So if you only keep people around you who never disagree with you, you're not building a circle.

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You're building an echo chamber.

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Real friends don't just celebrate you.

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They correct you.

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They sharpen you.

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They strengthen you.

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And let me say this with love.

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Some of you are calling it loyalty, but it's actually bondage.

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You're staying connected to people who drain you because your friend or you're afraid of being seen as mean.

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But Proverbs is not asking you to be mean.

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Proverbs is asking you to be wise.

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A season can end without hatred.

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Sometimes wisdom is just distance.

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Here are some applicable lessons that we can take going forward.

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1.

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Audit your circle.

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Who pushes you towards God?

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Who pushes you to a discipline?

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Who pushes you toward compromise?

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Identify these three characters.

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Three categories.

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Sharpeners.

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They make you better.

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Drainer.

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Drainers.

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They take your piece.

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Temptations.

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They pull you into sin.

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3.

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Invite counsel before crisis.

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Don't wait until your marriage is burning to seek advice.

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Don't wait until debt is choking you to seek wisdom.

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4.

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Choose one wise voice to submit to.

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A mentor, a pastor, a trusted elder.

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Not someone who tells you what you want.

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Someone who tells you what you need.

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Your next level requires a new circle.

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Now let me warn you.

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If you keep walking with fools, you'll suffer harm.

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Proverbs promised might not happen today, but it will happen eventually.

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But here's the encouragement.

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God can change your relationships without changing your heart toward people.

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You can love people and still set boundaries.

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You can forgive people and still choose distance.

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Because wisdom is not hatred.

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Wisdom is protection.

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Love without wisdom becomes self destruction.

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Now here are some questions for reflection.

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Who has the loudest voice in my decisions?

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And should they?

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Where do I resist correction because of pride?

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And what relationship is quietly pulling me away from God's will?

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Let us pray.

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Father, in the name of Jesus, give us wisdom in relationships.

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Deliver us from circles that destroy purpose and normalize sin.

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Forgive us for pride that rejects counsel and keeps repeating cycles.

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Lord, send us wise companions, people who sharpen us, correct us and build us.

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Give us humility to receive instruction and courage to set boundaries and lead us into biblical prosperity, where our relationships support our obedience, our counsel strengthens our decisions, and our circle protects our destiny.

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In Jesus mighty name, Amen.

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Now that's message five.

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Relationships and counsel.

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Who you walk with determines where you land.

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And in our next message, we talk about integrity and justice.

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The wealth that doesn't rotate Ra.

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