STOP Living Like a LONE WOLF - Raising The Standard

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STOP Living Like a LONE WOLF

Episode 2 • 20th October 2023 • Raising The Standard • Josh Khachadourian

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What is the number one lie that's keeping you stuck on the sidelines? What's the number one lie that's holding men back no matter where you are in life? I'm gonna show you in today's episode, seven ways to see if you're living this lie. Let's get into it. Raising the standard is relentlessly focused on helping you be the man God created you to be. God's plan for you is partnership, so you can move forward

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in your assignment and demonstrate the kingdom, advance, and occupy. My name is Josh Kachadorian, and on this show, I will be equipping you with the knowledge, the tools, and the principles so you can access the Lord's presence, peace, power, and promotion in your life. God fulfills his promises, not your potential. Only you can do that. Let's get into it. All right, guys, thanks for joining me today because this is an important episode because I've been looking back on my own life.

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I've been working with men now and I've been leading men inside an elite coaching group experience and the number one thing that I find that is holding men back from where you are today to where you want to be, there's actually multiple factors, but there's a pervasive factor that's an element and it's a lie that we've bought into as men, we bought into as society and I want you to put the lens of looking backwards on your life as you hear this and tell me if any of this.

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resonates with you. From the time you're young, you're indoctrinated by watching action movies, by watching hero stories of whoever your favorite character is that you emulate. The classic hero story in every single movie. For me, growing up in the 80s, it was the action movies. It was following Schwarzenegger, Stallone, JCVD, whoever that attractive character was for you. Maybe it was James Bond.

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Maybe it's something more current that I'm, you know, it's probably the rock for a lot of the kids these days. But the point is, these characters all have one major trait in common. They live like a lone wolf. And so from a very young age, we're programmed to believe that I'm very powerful, I'm very strong when I go alone. Every single one of these characters shows us that you live life alone, you're a loner, you're strong, you're incredibly powerful.

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You overtake your enemy. You win at the end of the day. You win the girl. You bring the solution. You fix the problem that you're being charged to solve. And that's the way life is lived. So let me ask you, does this carry over to your life? Do you find yourself? And it doesn't have to be an outright agreement with this, but if you look back, you're like, yeah, I do identify with that. And if you're not sure, stay with me because I'm gonna give you seven signs that I've seen.

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And so you can see and identify if you are living like a lone wolf. All right. So the first sign that you might be living like a lone wolf and specifically for Christian men is that you feel like you don't fit in. So there's this dichotomy within the church where you feel like, Hey, I don't truly fit in here because I'm driven, because I'm ambitious, because I have these high set goals for myself, or I have that desire, even if it's not expressed in your life right now.

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You know you want to go after it and crush it, and you're just really focused right now, and you don't see the same level of commitment exhibited among the men in your church, or among your circle of friends, or maybe you don't even have a circle of friends at church, so you don't really feel like you fit in there. However, if we put you in your other environment, if we put you into the world, if we put you into your work site, your job place,

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Maybe it's the gym for you. Maybe it's school for you. Whatever that current environment is, you also feel like you don't fit in there. So you might have some men that have similar characteristics and traits and they have set their sights on some things that they're going after that you align with. However, you know they don't subscribe to the same worldview you have. And therefore you feel like I don't fit in here and I don't fit in here. So therefore you withdraw a little bit.

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and you start to tell yourself the story that nobody gets you, that you're a different breed, that you have to find your own way in life and it's not going to be feasible for you to connect with like-minded men because you can't find them or maybe they don't even exist and if they do exist, you're not even sure of how to get connected with brothers like that, that are pursuing a deep Christianity that don't want the superficial

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modern day messages just all about prosperity and breakthrough. They wanna go deeper in their walk with the Lord. They wanna encounter the real Jesus. And at the same time, they don't wanna settle for mediocrity in their life. Okay, here's the second sign that you may be living like a lone wolf is that you are ambitious. You have this drive in you for more, but there's an inner conflict. There's this inner struggle. It's like a tug of war going on because

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You want to grow in business. You want to go after it. You want to crush it in these different areas of life, but you feel like I need to be more humble or that's not the right character I'm supposed to exhibit. And so it's like, put the car in drive, throw it back in neutral, throw the gas on, put the brake on. And it's like, you can't move forward because you're constantly dealing with this inner struggle of like, where's this drive and where's this desire coming from? Is it good?

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Is it sinful or is it God? If you are a kingdom-minded man, I just released a brand new training that I wanna give you completely for free. Every man wants to step into his full potential, unlock that desire, unlock that God-given potential within his heart to be the full expression of who God is calling him to be. However, many men also feel like they don't know how to do it. They're destined for more, but they sure don't feel like it right now. So what are we missing?

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Guys, we've been missing God's pattern and his process. It does not change. However, it's not often taught. I put together this free training to break three pervasive lies that you're probably believing. You've been programmed to believe these. And at the same time, I wanna hand you three kingdom keys that I believe are gonna set you free when you get access to this. Hit the link below to get access to the free training. You can pick the day and the time that works best for you.

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and you can visit the website at standard59.com forward slash training. I'll see you on the inside. All right. Another sign that you're living like a lone wolf, you're one dimensional guys. This is so prevalent in life where men are hyper focused on one area of life and they're probably crushing it in that one area. But meanwhile, there's other very critical areas in their life that are struggling. So to make this easy, I'm going to put it in the four F

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box. So if we look at faith, our walk with the Lord, and we look at family, our relationships as a husband, as a father, or if you're single, the other relationships in your life as you're preparing for marriage, and your fitness level, the way you stored your body, the way you honor your temple. And lastly, we'll say finance, business, workplace, wherever you are making money and trying to climb and accelerate your career, your business or your personal financial means.

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Ask yourself this out of those four boxes that I just described, your faith, your family, your fitness and your finances, how do you measure up? I'm gonna tell you, most men that are listening to this are most likely crushing it in one, possibly two, but it's very rare to see a man that has full balance in his life that are doing all of these things really well. So let's break this down for a minute and just use a couple examples so we can wrap our mind around this.

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because I've seen this in so many ways. In fact, I've seen such godly men, such strong leaders in the church, men that I look up to, men that are strong examples spiritually, they're living it out. They're men of no compromise. But when you look at them physically, they're struggling. They're not leading by example, by the way they're storeding their temple. They're not honoring their temple. And I'm not saying everyone has to do CrossFit, join a bodybuilding competition, run an ultra marathon. Not at all.

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I am about storeding your energy and staying in good shape. And at a minimum, we should be in good shape, physical capacity, able to help people if there was an emergency. Back in season one, I had Pastor Ivy Marsh on, and he has a great tool that he uses with his guys. He says that you should be able to pick up your wife and carry her, I think it's like 50 or 100 yards. If the house was on fire, could you pick up your kids? Could you pick up your wife? Could you save people around you? So man number one, for example,

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is walking a deep relationship with the Lord, not compromising anywhere in his spirituality or his beliefs or any sin in his life. However, he's failing physically. Here's another example, and this is really typical. A man's crushing it in business. I know you guys are driven, so you're running after it. You're crushing it. You're climbing the corporate ladder or you're expanding your business. You're building your business. And as a result of that, something

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and ends up being their family because they're traveling, because of work schedules, because the phone's always going off, because there's another initiative, another emergency. And so what happens is family gets pushed to the side. At the sporting events, you see these fathers, they're on the phone constantly. They can't dial into their children when their children are trying to connect with them. And here's another way this manifests. You're crushing it in business and you're failing physically. There's so many men that have

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learn the game of money and finances and learn how to grow and advance their business, but at the cost of their health, failing them at the cost of not being able to keep up with their kids or not looking and feeling great, not meeting every single task in life with energy. So ask yourself today, when you look at those areas of life, which ones are you really accelerating in? Give yourself a grade and look at the one that's lagging behind.

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Where can you use some more balance? Because all these four are interconnected if you want to live a good life, a man that can leave a legacy, a man that can lead his family, a man that can lead himself. And the number one priority is always to follow the Lord with an uncompromising faith leading ourself and our family. Okay, moving on. Guys, this next one is huge. And I guarantee you that you've probably done this because every man does it.

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And I know that I've been there, I've done it. And it's this, you walk around armored up. You walk around wearing a mask, you've got your shield up and you never let anyone into your life. And it looks like this. When someone tries to connect with you, you give a superficial answer. I'm good, I'm busy, things are great, everybody's good. And you don't let anyone go deeper. Now there's a couple issues because that may be a superficial relationship or exchange.

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but you don't have an outlet where you can be vulnerable, where you can take that mask off, you can put the shield down, remove your armor and open up to someone. And of course we wanna do this within our family confines with our wife, but for every man you need other men or at least another man that you can open up and you can share life with. If you're missing that, I feel bad for you and I wanna show you how you can fix this because men need men. Men need...

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brothers. You are not made to go through life alone. You are made for community. All right guys, quick check in. How you doing so far? As you look at your life, are you checking these boxes? Do you see these attributes, these characteristics showing up in your life? Let's keep going cause I got a few more that I want to get through. Here's another sign to know you're living like a lone wolf. You've mastered the art of performance. You know how to play the game. You know how to turn it on.

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You know how to act, you know how to perform for others when you're in the room. But deep down inside, something's out of alignment. You know, you're living a lie. You can crush the business presentation. You can put the mask on for your wife or for your children to hold it together because you know you have to, but when no one's around, that's when you're plagued with the thoughts of loneliness, the thoughts of struggle, the things that are eating away at you because you know, you're not living in alignment with

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the way God created you to be, your true identity. The next way to know if you're a lone wolf, and this is an attribute that I see among men that typically separate themselves, no one can measure up to your standard, your false standard. You put these high expectations on your wife, on your children, on your coworkers, on your employees, even on yourself, and no one can meet them. So you're never happy. Something's not on time, you can't take ownership for it, so you blame someone else.

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And what it is, is it's a victim mentality. When you blame, when you shift judgment, and when you constantly accuse others or tell yourself a story that it's someone else's fault, and that's why you're not where you wanna be in life. Guys, this manifests in so many ways. As a husband, it can manifest against your wife. If only she was different, if only she listened to me. If only, if only, if only. Where in your life are you saying, if only?

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If only my circumstances were different. If only my job was different. If only I was born into a different family, whatever that is for you. If you can find where you're saying, if only identify any kind of victim mentality and victim thoughts and language and get it out of your life, face up to it, look in the mirror and realize I'm telling myself a story. I've been living this lie where I'm saying everything else is someone else's fault. Okay. So here's another attribute.

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of lone wolves. You are distracted. You lost your ability to focus. Now the environment is against you right now. Your mobile phone is against you. Technology is against you. And because of that and other things, the inability to focus is keeping you living alone and living distracted. When you're in this state, you're never intentional. You can never execute on anything because you can't maintain focus on one.

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thing. So I know many men that are listening to this right now, you have huge vision for your life or let's call it a dream. You have a huge dream for your life. You see yourself building this business. You see yourself building a platform. You see yourself getting after it. However, it never goes from the place of dream to execution and action. And it's because you're distracted. When you're distracted, you cannot show up.

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You cannot be present and you're never intentional on one thing in front of you. If that's you, you may be living like a lone wolf. So thanks for listening today. If this show benefited you, share it with a friend. There's other men going through life alone that do not have to live like a lone wolf. Join the group and I'll see you in the next episode. Until then, let's raise the standard. If you are a kingdom-minded man, I just released a brand new training that I wanna give you completely for free.

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Every man wants to step into his full potential, unlock that desire, unlock that God given potential within his heart to be the full expression of who God is calling him to be. However, many men also feel like they don't know how to do it. They're destined for more, but they sure don't feel like it right now. So what are we missing? Guys, we've been missing God's pattern and his process. It does not change. However, it's not often taught. I put together this free training

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break three pervasive lies that you're probably believing. You've been programmed to believe these. And at the same time, I wanna hand you three kingdom keys that I believe are gonna set you free when you get access to this. Hit the link below to get access to the free training. You can pick the day and the time that works best for you. And you can visit the website at standard59.com forward slash training. I'll see you on the inside.