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Are These Unrealistic Expectations Leading to Frustration? EP 134
Episode 13427th May 2022 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:34:34

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There are a series of common unrealistic expectations that lead to the ABCDEF's of negativity: Anger, Aggression, Blame, Betrayal, Criticism, Challenge, Despair, Depression, Exit, Escape, Frustration, Futility. Join Dr John Demartini for a deeper look into what these unrealistic expectations are. He’ll show you how to identify unrealistic expectations, how to reveal the valuable feedback they provide for your life and the steps you can take to be sure your life expectations are balanced and realistic and lead you to a state of fulfilment, inspiration and appreciation. Turn the volatility of an ungoverned mind into the poise and presence of a governed mind so that you can experience true appreciation for the magnificence of life as it is.

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Transcripts

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All those ABCDs of negativity are basically a result of

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unrealistic expectation you're starting.

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And the more you accumulate these unrealistic expectations,

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the more depressed your life is.

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I'm gonna start out by saying that,

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if I was to walk up to you and I was to

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project onto you, an assumption or a statement,

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a label,

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and pretend or was actually admiring you and I

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said to you, 'You're always so nice. You're never mean.

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Always so kind, never seen you cruel. You're always so positive.

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Never negative. Always so generous, never stingy. Always giving, never taking.

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Always peaceful, never wrathful. Always considerate, never inconsiderate.'

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If I was to project onto you a one sided state

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and negate the other,

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kind of a confirmation bias on the positives and a

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negatives or a false positive on the positive and a false negative on the

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negative, or some sort of a,

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an assumption that I'm conscious of the positives,

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but unconscious of the negatives and I projected onto you and said,

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you're always nice, never mean, always kind, never cruel, always positive,

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never negative, everything else. Would you believe me? And I guarantee you,

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your intuition,

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your own internal psychostat would kind of whisper to you as I was saying,

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you're always positive, never negative.

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You'd be immediately thinking of the times, 'oh, I negative here,

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and when I'm cruel, yeah I was cruel there',

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your intuition would pop up the other side of your nature and

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whisper to you about the times when you weren't so nice, weren't so positive,

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weren't so kind, weren't so generous, et cetera. And you wouldn't believe me.

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You wouldn't believe that you're always that way and never the other way.

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It would be hard to believe that anybody's always some way and never the other

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way.

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So these absolute languages would not be believable by people

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and your own BS meter, your own intuition stat,

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your own psychostat would go off and immediately think of where you've done the

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opposite of what somebody's projecting. So when people admire people,

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sometimes they exaggerate the assumption that they're always up,

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never down or always giving, never taking, or always on top of it,

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never behind the eight ball, as they say, and this wouldn't be true.

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And if I reversed that and I had a confirmation bias on the negatives,

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a disconfirmation bias on the positives, a false positive on the negatives,

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a false negative on the positives and I was exaggerating and conscious

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of one and unconscious of the positives, and

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I said to you, you're always mean, you're never nice, you're always cruel,

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you're never kind, you're always negative, you're never positive, always taking,

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never giving, always stingy, never generous, always wrathful, never peaceful.

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Again, your BS meter, psychosstat would go off,

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intuition would go off and go think of times when you've been kind and nice and

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generous and positive.

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So there's no way you would believe that you're always one or the other.

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In other words, the uncertainty or believability,

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you become more uncertain and less believable when

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something. But yet,

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have you not heard people say when my father was never there for me or my mother

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was always mean, or my, you know,

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father always beat me. They put always in nevers,

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which are absolute statements in a relative world.

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So anytime you have an expectation like that, it's not certain,

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it's not believable. The BS meter goes off.

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And yet you sometimes overlook what is obvious with these biases.

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But if I came to you and I said, well you're sometimes nice, sometimes mean,

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sometimes kind and sometimes cruel and sometimes positive, sometimes negative,

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sometimes peaceful, sometimes wrathful, sometimes generous, sometimes stingy,

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sometimes giving, sometimes taking, sometimes considerate,

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sometimes inconsiderate. And you would immediately go, 'Yep.

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That's true.' You would immediately believe immediately believe that that's

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true. But you wouldn't believe a one sided state.

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Now what's interesting.

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You only have certainty when I say to you there's times when you're both.

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In fact what's interesting is when you're actually nice to somebody and

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supporting them,

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sometimes that's mean cuz it's making them depend on you and robbing them of

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accountability, responsibility, productivity,

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dignity and sometimes that's actually being mean even though you're being nice.

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And sometimes if I said to you, I'm tough on you and mean on you,

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you could actually turn out to be well now I became an entrepreneur and

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resourceful and creative and thick skinned. And then you go, well,

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there's nice inside that.

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So the idea of those labels in the first place may not even be true.

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So anytime you have an expectation on somebody to be more nice than mean,

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more kind than cruel, you have an unrealistic expectation.

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And yet you hear this. Sometimes grandma comes to you and says, now be nice,

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don't be mean, be kind, don't be cruel, be positive, don't be negative,

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be peaceful, don't be wrathful, be generous, don't be stingy, be giving,

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don't be taking.

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They say these moral hypocrisies of one sided when

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nobody can live by that. I went into the Oxford dictionary many years ago,

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over three almost four decades ago.

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And I found out that I had every possible human behavioral trait I found in the

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dictionary. 4,628 traits. I was nice, mean, kind, creul,,

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open, closed, honest, dishonest.

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I found every single one of those behaviors inside me.

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So anytime somebody wants to say I'm one side without the other,

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I immediately go BS. But when somebody says I'm a little of both,

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then I immediately go, Yes.

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So you can only have certainty when you embrace both sides, objectively.

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You're gonna have uncertainty and your BS meter's gonna go off when you try to

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polarize it. So here's the first principle that I'm saying.

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I just set that up now,

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that anytime you come up to somebody and expect them to be one sided,

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not both sided,

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you set yourself up for an unrealistic expectation and they're not going to live

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up to it.

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Imagine getting in a relationship and the first weeks or so,

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they seem to be nice,

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but eventually they start showing up the other side and stand up to you and show

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some of the other opposite behaviors. And then you go, well,

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wait a minute now you're supposed to be nice. And if I expect you to be nice,

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never mean, kind, never cruel. When I'm supporting your values,

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you'll probably be nice.

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If I'm challenging your values you're probably gonna be mean.

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If I'm supporting what you wanna buy, you'll probably be generous.

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If I'm challenging what you wanna buy, you go, I'm not paying for it.

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So you're going to have both of those sides.

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Every human being has the hero and villain, the saint and the sinner,

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the both sides if you look carefully enough and you're honest with yourself and

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not living in lalaland about who you are.

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So anytime you expect an individual to be one sided,

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you've set yourself up for an unrealistic expectation. And if you expect,

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let's say I have a girlfriend, I go and I expect her to always be nice,

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never mean, always kind, never cruel.

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That unrealistic expectation is guaranteed to make me feel

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it's not met. The expectation can't be met.

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So I'll be angry and aggressive towards her possibly.

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I may blame her and feel betrayed.

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I may criticize her and possibly feel challenged.

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I may feel depressed and despaired cuz she's not living up to my fantasy or

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expectation, my delusion. Cuz anytime you expect somebody to be one sided,

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you got a delusion. I may end up wanting to escape her or exit the relationship.

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Or I may be frustrated, feeling futile in the relationship,

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I can't get her to be one sided or I may be grouchy or grieving the loss of the

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fantasy person I'm making out of her.

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Or I may have a situation where I'm hating her and hurting, want to hurt her,

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or I may end up being irritable and irrational.

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These are all the A B C D E F G H Is of negativity,

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are a compensation for an unrealistic expectation on somebody to be one sided.

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They're not going to be. No human being will be.

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And anybody that portrays they are,

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is usually covering up and repressing the other side and eventually it's going

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to be surfaced.

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So anytime you have an unrealistic expectation on one individual to be one

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sided, you've got a delusion. You've got a frustration on its way,

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cuz life's not gonna give you that. And look carefully.

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The longer you're married, the more you're gonna see both sides of people.

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They'll be nice and mean. When you are puffed up and cocky to them,

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looking down on 'em, they're probably gonna criticize you,

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bring you down into equilibrium to get you back into authenticity.

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When you're humble and lifting 'em up,

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they're probably gonna be supportive to you. Getting you back into equilibrium.

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Nature tends to wanna create an equitable relationship and if you're cocky,

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they'll bring you down. If you're humble, they'll lift you up.

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Cuz they want to have a match.

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Everybody wants a matched relationship where there's a bantering instead of a

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looking up and down at people, putting people on pedestals or pits doesn't last,

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putting people in hearts last.

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So that's the first unrealistic expectation that leads to the frustrations

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and the ABCDs of negativity.

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The second one is expecting another individual to live in your values.

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Every individual has a set of priorities, a set of values,

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things that are most to least important in their life that are unique to them.

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And anytime you expect them to live outside their hierarchy of values

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and possibly in yours or somebody else's,

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you have an unrealistic expectation that's guaranteed to create the A B C D F G

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H Is of negativity. But if you know what their values are,

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which is why I have people come onto my website and go on and do the Value

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Determination process on themselves and the people they care about,

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their inner circle of friends and loved ones.

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If you know what their values are and know what the highest value is,

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that's where the highest probability of their behavior is.

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You can expect somebody, my highest value is teaching,

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you can expect me to be teaching. It's the third presentation I've done today.

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And my second highest value is researching and teaching.

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You can probably expect me to be doing teaching and researching somewhere along

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the line. But if you expected me to cook, I'm gonna let you down.

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If you expect me to drive a car, I haven't done that in 32 years.

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Things that are low on my values I've delegated or I just don't do.

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I've got people to do that. So in the process of doing it,

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anytime you expect me to live in your values, which are different than mine,

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I'm going to probably be seen as betrayal and not being what I said.

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And if I know my own values, I won't promise something that's not in my values.

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And if I know your values, I won't expect something that's not in your values,

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but is in my values.

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It's very important to know what an individual's values are.

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That's why I tell you, go to the website and do the Value Determination process.

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Do it again and again until you feel that's it.

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And do it around the people you care about or have them do it so you got

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something to dialogue.

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When you can see what they're dedicated to is helping you fulfill what you're

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dedicated to by linking the top values,

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you're likely to put on realistic expectations and not expect 'em to be

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living in your values, but only in theirs.

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Every decision they make is based on what they believe will give 'em the

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greatest advantage over disadvantage, greater reward over risk,

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to what they value most.

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So if you expect them unrealistically to live outside their values in your

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values, you're gonna have the A B C D E F G H Is of negativity,

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anger and aggression, blame, betrayal, criticism, challenge, despair,

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depression, exit and escape, frustration, futility, grouchiness and grief,

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hatred and hurt, irritability and insanity, or irritability

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All of those are symptoms.

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All of those responses are a result of an unrealistic expectation creating

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these frustrations, banging your head against the wall,

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expecting somebody to be one sided and expecting them to live in your values.

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They're not going to, they're not designed to.

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They wanna be loved and appreciate who they are and who they are revolves around

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what they value most, and their highest value is that. So if know what that is,

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you can know what to expect from people. If you know me,

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you know my value is teaching, you know I can be teaching.

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If you expect me to do something else, I'm probably gonna let you down.

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Not because I'm betraying you,

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but because you're betraying you by having unrealistic expectation on me to live

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in those values that aren't mine. That's why you need to know people.

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You really love somebody, you know 'em. When you love somebody,

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you want to get to know them. When you wanna get to know 'em,

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you wanna get to know what they value most. So that's the second source.

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The third one is a combination of those two. And believe me,

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there are people out there in their twenties and thirties particularly,

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and teens starting out new in the relationship journey,

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and they have fantasy expectations to be supported and not challenged, praise,

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not reprimanded positive, not negative, and to live in their values.

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And when two people are infatuated with each other, they'll tend to sacrifice

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what's important to them to be with that other person, temporarily,

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for the first few weeks,

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until that infatuation wears off and then they wanna go back and be loved for

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who they are. And then they end up, looks like they're betraying each other,

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they're not, they're just going back to who they are.

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Both of 'em are living in a fantasy they're supposed

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they started with. When two people are infatuated, they can fake it temporarily,

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but they're not gonna sustain it.

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So the third source of these unrealistic expect,

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these third source of these frustrations and utilities are the

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combination of the two. Now the fourth one, and there's 15 of 'em.

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The fourth one is an unrealistic expectation on yourself to be one sided.

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Now I spent literally two solid years doing a survey and research on my own life

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to see if I could stay positive all the time or nice all the time or kind all

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the time. And I charted four times a day,

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every single day for two years and found that I did not end up that way.

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I had a homeostat,

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kind of a psychostat keeping me in equilibrium and I wasn't positive all the

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time. I was positive and sometimes negative, and kind,

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and sometimes cruel and supportive and sometimes challenging and peaceful and

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sometimes wrathful, cooperative and sometimes competitive.

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When I finally realized that I'm all the above and I don't need to get rid of

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half of myself to love myself, that was liberating.

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But if you have an unrealistic expectation on yourself to be only positive,

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which some positive self-help programs are trying to get you to do,

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you're going to end up frustrating yourself, cuz that's not gonna be real.

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And I guarantee if you did the research project I did on it,

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which was very thorough for two years, you'll prove to yourself,

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you'll see your own results and you'll realize it's just a delusion.

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It's an unrealistic expectation. But it sells.

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Anything that sells dopamine that makes people feel that there's gonna be a high

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and it's gonna give them more pleasure than pain they'll, people will buy.

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Doesn't mean it's true. It's just an opium of the masses, if you will.

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So are not gonna be one sided all the time.

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And if you think you've met somebody that stays that way,

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get to know 'em and live with them and talk to their girlfriend or boyfriend and

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who lives with them and you will find that that's not who they are.

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It's just like the glitz and glamor of the so-called celebrities.

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They've got a lot of stuff behind the scenes that they're dealing with and now

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it's transparent. But it once once was a facade.

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Then you have number five,

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an unrealistic expectation on you to live outside your own values in somebody

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else's values. And this is where envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide.

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You try to be second at being somebody else instead of being first at you.

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You go along and you see somebody go, oh,

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I wish I could be like them snd I try to pretend I'm gonna be like them.

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That's like being a second Elvis instead of Elvis. It's not gonna work.

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I'd rather have the whole world against me than my own soul.

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I'd rather be myself. I have no desire to be somebody other than myself,

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but people try to, they try to take those values that somebody else has and say,

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okay, I'm now gonna artificially make them mine.

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And yet their own values are structured in such a way that they beat themselves

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up, trying to do it.

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Anytime you expect to live outside your own hierarchy of values and in somebody

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else's values, you're going to end up beating yourself up.

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Albert Einstein said beautifully that if you're a cat expecting

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to swim like a fish, you're gonna beat yourself up.

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If you're a fish expecting to climb a tree like a cat,

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you're gonna beat yourself up. But if you honor that you're a cat,

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you'll climb a tree like a master. So you need to know what your values are.

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So again, go to the Value Determination process,

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find out what your values are so you can know what to expect from yourself,

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cuz you're not gonna let yourself down on your hierarchy of values.

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The hierarchy of your values dictates your perception, decisions,

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and actions and your destiny.

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And as the values are tweaking and changing slowly in your life,

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so is your destiny's changing. But whatever it is at any one moment,

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and I tell people to do it every quarter so they keep up to date with it,

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that's where you're headed. Your decisions are gonna be based on that.

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They're the ends. The means to an end and the end in mind,

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this highest value is the end in mind.

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So number five is an unrealistic expectation on

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own values in somebody else's values. So don't envy or imitate anyone,

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be yourself. I'd rather have the world against me than me.

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And the next one is number six, and that's the combination of four and five.

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So now you've got all those together, four and five,

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unrealistic expectation on yourself to be one sided and to expect to live

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outside your values. Now,

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number seven is all the first three and the second three.

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So number three and number six, combining them, that's number seven.

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So now you're have an unrealistic expectation on

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sided, yourself and others to live outside your or their values,

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or others or yourself, whatever I said first. And in the process of doing that,

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now you have more and more reasons to be angry and aggressive,

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blame and betrayal, cuz you are angry at them or you're angry at yourself.

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You feel they betrayed you. You feel you betrayed yourself.

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All those ABCDs of negativity are basically a result of

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unrealistic expectation you're starting.

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And the more you accumulate these unrealistic expectations,

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the more depressed your life is,

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cuz depression is a comparison of your current life to a fantasy,

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an unrealistic expectation you're holding onto. And people don't hear that,

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but I've gotten to work with clinical cases of depression by the hundreds.

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And I have never seen a clinical depression just because of biochemical

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imbalances. I've seen it because of subconsciously stored,

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unrealistic expectations and wounds of the past and trying to escape 'em

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disassociate and try to set up the fantasy of one-sided world.

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The most depressed people I know are the people looking for happiness. In fact,

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I wrote a little booklet called I Gave Up Happiness, It Made Me Too Sad.

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The Joy of Depression,

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because there are pairs of opposites that are there together.

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So those unrealistic expectations, those first six and number seven,

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a combination of all that, can lead to depression. Now number eight comes along,

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an unrealistic expectation on the universe or on

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the collective society, the world in general,

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the population in general that you live with and now you're expecting it to be

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peaceful, never wrathful, supposed to be kind, never cruel,

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supposed to be giving, never taking. And you have an idealism,

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a fantasy about how society is supposed to be.

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But yet if you go and look up the global peace index,

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you'll see peace and war has been balanced ever since they started this index

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decades ago.

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And then you'll realize that there's always a law of eristic escalation making

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sure that whatever group of people out there that are promoting something,

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another group of an opposite nature is promoting the opposite.

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You'll find that there's a spectrum of value systems in society and for

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everything you stand for, there'll be somebody stand against it. Pro-life,

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pro-abortion, pro vaccine, anti-vaccine, pro democrats,

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pro republicans, and all these pairs of opposites.

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And nature has that to keep the world constantly transforming,

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to adapt to a new changing environment of the world in astronomy,

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our life on the planet. So if you expect the world to be one sided,

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that's going to be a delusion.

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And even though we go around and even say that the people who are warriors,

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our military is called the peacekeepers.

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And sometimes the peacemakers are actually the spiritual warriors that this

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whole thing is sort of a misnomer and misdelusion.

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So I don't have an expectation the world's gonna come to all peace on the

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planet, all kind, all nice, all peaceful, all, that's just delusional.

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I don't have that.

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I've spoken at three peace conference in the world and one for the United

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Nations people, another one in Austria and another one in Canada.

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And one thing I'm certain about is even at the United nations at UNESCO,

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where I had the opportunity to speak and teach some of the delegates there,

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I found out that everybody,

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I asked them to write down what they thought would create real peace.

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And then I had 'em all debate that,

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and there was war and peace going on in the room because they all had different

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ideas of what would work, just to prove a point.

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But these are pairs of opposites and you need both support and challenge,

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agreement and disagreement to keep you growing.

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Maximum growth and development occurs at the border of those two, not one side.

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That's why trying to get rid of half of yourself and trying to get rid of half

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of your loved ones and trying to get rid of half the world is futile.

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You're not here to get rid of anything.

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You're here to learn how to love both sides. Appreciate both.

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They keep you stable. If somebody only supported you and never challenged you,

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you become juveniley dependent. If somebody only challenged you,

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never supported, you become precociously independent.

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But if you put the two together at the same time,

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you become a perfect growth process.

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That's why maximum growth and development occurs at the border of those two.

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So that's why expecting both helps you have the most, in a sense growth process,

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a fitness. If you had prey without predator,

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you'd be glutinous and fat and not fit.

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And you'd be the perfect target for a predator to go and attack.

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If you had a predator without prey, you would end up being emaciated and starve.

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And that would not work too. So you need both prey and predator,

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support and challenge, nice and mean, positive and negative,

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and all pairs of opposites in your life to grow maximally.

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The next one is an unrealistic expectation on society, the collective,

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to live in your values. And this is what I saw at the United nations delegates.

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They believed that if they all would follow their value system,

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we would have world peace. This is quite youthfully delusional.

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And of course they fought over what was it because somebody else had a different

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set of values and they disagreed with them,

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and they thought they they break world peace.

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Anytime you project your values and expect the world to live in your values,

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you're going to have a delusion because there's a spectrum of people with a

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complete opposite sets of values and their belief is just as valid as yours,

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in fact, they're both needed.

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And that's why some cultures have a different ideology than yours.

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And we tend to think we're right and they think they're wrong.

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But that's a tribal thinking instead of a global thinking.

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A global thinking sees that the whole globe is made out of cultures and

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countercultures in a nice blend of opposites to make

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of building and destroying going on to adapt.

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Just like your body has the parasympathetic nervous

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sympathetic system to destroy, anabolism catabolism, acidity and alkaline.

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Both of those, or alkalinity and acidity and reduction and oxidation.

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There's a pair of opposites that are both needed. Mitosis apoptosis,

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both are needed for you to have a body that has maintained equilibrium,

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no homeostasis.

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And this is known by Claude Bernard and Walter Cannon in their wisdom of the

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body. So just as you need that, the world needs that, a pair of opposites,

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an autonomic complementary opposites. Even the DNA strands of husband and wife,

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which are usually completely different value systems,

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they are literally running in complete reverse formats in the way they're

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arranged to make sure there's a blend of complementary opposites,

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that's what you need. So that's why striving for one side is futile.

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At the subatomic levels, there's pairs of opposites.

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At the astronomical level there's build and destroy and conservation laws to

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prove this.

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The next one is an unrealistic expectation of those two together.

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The world's supposed to be one-sided and the world's supposed to live in your

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values. And so now you've added those together.

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So that was 8, 9, 10,

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and now 11 is 3, 6 and 10, the first three, the second three,

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and those three. And that's the first 11 reasons why people get depressed.

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Go take somebody who's depressed.

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I guarantee you'll find these patterns of unrealistic expectation underline

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their reality.

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And they really think the world's supposed to be supporting their fantasies and

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unrealistic expectations many times. And yes, there's biochemical imbalance,

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but that's not the causal, that's correlated.

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Cuz I can have a tiger jump in a room,

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all of a sudden about to eat you and I could go and check your cortisol levels,

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they go out the roof.

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And it's not because you have an imbalance it's because your body is responding

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to that perception.

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But we have perceptions and stored subconsciously stored

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that are affecting our neurochemistry.

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And it's not giving power because that means you have the power.

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It's not the pharmaceutical industries that have the power.

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So they don't necessarily tell you that,

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cuz you're not likely to go and clear it yourself.

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So you'll depend on something else.

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But don't go with the idea that that's correlate because the science doesn't

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show that. In fact,

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some neuro chemistries are actually not really all that valid over placebo

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effect in some cases,

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according to some researchers and conferences that I've attended.

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The next one is unrealistic expectation on mechanical objects to be one sided.

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Now you go and pick up your computer, you expect it to support you,

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never challenge you.

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And you expect your car garage or your ATM machine or any mechanical object

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to only be one sided.

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Or you go the next step is an unrealistic expectation on mechanical objects to

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live in your values and read your mind. And by the way,

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if you had 'em your mind all the time,

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you might not actually like to see what comes up on your advertisements on your

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computer. So if Microsoft word actually does read your mind,

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Lord knows what's gonna show up on that advertisement. That might be cute.

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But in the process of doing that, unrealistic expectation on objects,

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mechanical objects to live in your values and read your mind is again,

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delusional, at least at this stage, it's coming, but it's not there yet.

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And then the next unrealistic expectation is those two together.

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And the final expectation is all the above. Number 15.

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And these 15 delusions, these unrealistic expectations, these fantasies,

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if you have any of those or multitudes of those,

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you will end up having a frustrating life, somewhat of a depressed life.

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Life's not matching your reality and you're gonna want

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your perceptions and expectations to change.

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And so that's why I'm taking the time to go over this now to go through these 15

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delusions. Unrealistic expectation on others to live one sided.

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Unrealistic expectation on others to be living in your values or

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outside their values. Unrealistic expectation of those two together.

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Unrealistic expectation on yourself to be one sided.

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Unrealistic expectation on yourself to live outside your values or in somebody

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else's values. Unrealistic expectation of those two.

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Unrealistic expectations of all six of those.

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Unrealistic expectations on the world to live one sided or into your values.

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And those two together. And unrealistic expectation of all those.

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And then unrealistic expectation on mechanical objects to be one sided or

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unrealistic expectation on mechanical objects to live in your values.

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Or those two. Or all the above.

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And I found that when I deal with people and I, every time,

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I teach the Breakthrough Experience, 1,142 times now,

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and I'm certain people come in there, clinical depression,

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and I go in there and I go, okay, you're depressed,

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but you can't be depressed about nothing. You got depression about something.

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If we look and break it down into its content,

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you'll find it's one or more of those delusions many times.

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And then when I go in there and I crack the delusions and set realistic

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expectations, the depression lifts, the chemistries change.

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And a lot of people that are bipolar are looking for,

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I always say that if you wanna look for a one-sided world,

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you'll end up bipolar. Because anytime you try to separate the inseparables,

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divide the indivisibles, name the ineffable's, label the unlables,

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polarize the unpolarizables, you put yourself into instability.

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Bipolar condition is a byproduct of monopolar addiction.

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It's based on the fantasy of one side,

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primarily because of traumas that make you disassociate to try to find a fantasy

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to compensate for it,

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or ecstatic drug use that gets you in a fantasy that don't wanna give up,

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that has withdrawals symptoms from.

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These are common things that can trigger these states.

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But once we go in there and do what I call the Demartini Method on basically

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bringing our perceptions and expectations back into balance,

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which is an accountable step by step process to do it, they lift,

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the gratitude goes up, the love goes up, the presence goes up,

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the certainty goes up, the enthusiasm goes up, the inspiration for life goes up,

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and the bipolarities dissolve.

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So I just wanted to go over the most common unrealistic expectations that I

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found that lead to the A, B, C, D E F G H, Is of negativity.

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Again, anger and aggression, blame and betrayal, criticism and challenge,

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despair and depression, desire to exit and escape, frustration, futility,

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grouchiness and grief, hatred and hurt,

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and irritability and irrationality or insanity in some cases.

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So I just want to give you those expectations to ponder,

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to play with your head around, look back at your life,

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go to a moment when you're actually angry and depressed and frustrated or

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whatever, and go look at what's underlying it.

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I assure you'll find one of these things that's sitting inside there.

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It'll blow your mind. And a lot of times people didn't tell you that.

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So I'm telling you that. So please do that.

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At the Breakthrough Experience I teach people how to not only uncover those,

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but actually how to dissolve those.

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Cuz as long as we have unrealistic expectations,

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not living by our highest values and setting objectives

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and balanced,

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and we're living in our amygdala where we wanna avoid pain and seek pleasure,

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which is why we end up being in the opium of the masses there,

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why we end up with false expectations.

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If you don't live by priority and you end up in the amygdala, that's inevitable.

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And if you wanna live a masterful life,

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you wanna learn how to prioritize your life.

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So go to the website and do the Value Determination.

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Come to the Breakthrough Experience,

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learn how to do the Demartini Method to clear that.

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So you can get on with living an inspired life. Now, in addition to that,

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I just want to give you a little free on demand masterclass.

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It's called Balancing Your Emotions for Greater Achievement.

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Take advantage of this little free gift. Listen to it numerous times,

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it'll be an eye opening awakening about your own balanced perceptions and the

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unrealistic expectations. It'll correlate with what I've said today,

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cuz there's no reason, the more volatile you are, the shorter your lifespan.

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The more steady you are, the more, you know, vital you are.

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When people live in a stable objective state and they have resilience and

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adaptability, their telomeres grow and it increases their longevity.

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And when they're sitting in a highly volatile system expecting unrealistic

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expectations, they're frustrated. As the Buddha says,

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the desire for that which is unobtainable and the desire to avoid that which is

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unavoidable is the source of human suffering.

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So please take advantage of this free online gift,

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the masterclass on balancing your motions. Please go back and do the website.

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Take advantage of doing the value determination process and do it again and

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again and do it on the people you love.

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So you can learn how to communicate in their values and not put unrealistic

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expectations on you or them and make it to the Breakthrough Experience.

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That's where I can really transform your life.

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And that's what I love doing most,

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helping people do something extraordinary with their life and live more

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masterful lives and more empowered lives.

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So please take advantage of those things and thank you for joining me for this

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week.

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It's great to spend time with you and I look forward to seeing you next week for

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the next little class. Hopefully I stirred up and,

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and inspired a few ideas for you tonight.

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So thank for joining me and I'll see you next week.

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