Shownotes
In a world of interconnectivity, finding the right communication medium is truly important to not only help you get your message across effectively, but to help others get to know who you are. The last part, personal connection, is vastly important in the relationships, confidence, and determination that we are building to become huge advocates in our ever-changing, ever-evolving growth, particularly when it comes to the connections that we need to foster. How do we foster them, especially in a variety of challenging situations? Today's guest, author of Text Messages To My Sons, Tammy Cohen, shares how this idea of interconnectivity begins, and how it helped foster a deeper appreciation of not only her family, but with the people she wished to grow with. It is not only about seeking out new ideas and sources of information, but also projecting growth through these activities that foster opportunities for more well-rounded development to occur!
Guest Bio
Tammy Cohen has been partnering with top-tier corporate executives and entrepreneurs to develop personal and professional brands for more than 20 years. Today, she understands her role as a connector and sees opportunities for women to thrive and grow exponentially. She founded Women Beyond the Table, a business network with a soul. Tammy also launched the Beyond the Table Podcast, leveraging her ability to connect with audiences by sharing her guest’s stories and wisdom. In her consulting work, Tammy connects her clients to their mission, vision and core values statements and utilizes her networks to develop brands. Tammy is a frequent podcast guest and speaker on topics ranging from branding to leadership. When she is not helping brands or women stand out, Tammy lives in Manhattan, NY with her husband and 3 sons and owns Eighteen Restaurant on the Upper Eastside. Text Messages to My Sons is Tammy’s first book where she connects deeply with her family in a world of devices.
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Textmessagestomysons/
@textmessagestomyson on Instagram
Website: https://tcbrandconsulting.com/
- Text Messages to My Sons: Connecting Deeply In a World of Devices - Tammy J Cohen (https://tcbrandconsulting.com/text-messages-to-my-sons-connecting-deeply-in-a-world-of-devices/) - To pick up a copy of Tammy's book featured on today's episode, visit this website.
Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/
Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support
Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcripts
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
2
:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
3
:This is Speaking From The Heart.
4
:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 150 of Speaking from the Heart.
5
:Today, we have Tammy Cohen, and Tammy
has been partnering with top tier
6
:corporate executives and entrepreneurs
to develop personal and professional
7
:brands for more than 20 years.
8
:Today, she understands her role as a
connector, and sees opportunities for
9
:women to thrive and grow exponentially.
10
:She founded Woman Beyond the Table,
which is a business network with a soul.
11
:Tammy also launched the Beyond
The Table podcast, leveraging her
12
:ability to connect with audiences by
sharing her guest's story and wisdom.
13
:In her consulting work, Tammy connects
her clients to their mission, vision,
14
:and core value statements, and utilizes
her networks to develop brands.
15
:She is a frequent podcast guest and
speaker on topics ranging from branding
16
:to leadership, and when she's not
helping brands or women stand out,
17
:Tammy lives in Manhattan, New York, with
her husband and three sons, and owns
18
:18 Restaurant on the Upper East Side.
19
:Text Messages To My Sons is Tammy's first
book where she connects deeply with her
20
:family in a world of devices, and I really
love this episode for so many reasons.
21
:Tammy really digs into some of the ideas
of working on ourselves, how we can
22
:expand our networks as a whole, because
let's face it, in this ever changing
23
:world, we have to be able to build those
relationships which really align with what
24
:I even do, and she brings some valuable
insight, but she deep dives into things
25
:that really helps us to understand that,
even as a business owner, or even in
26
:our own personal lives, being able to
understand how we can connect with each
27
:other, even our own children, which we
talk about in today's episode, might
28
:not be as surprising as you might think.
29
:Finding ways in which we can leave a
lasting impression in the 21st century
30
:is something that even with the book that
she wrote, she talks about how we can
31
:be accountable, even in a text message
format, of ways in which we spread
32
:love, light, and inspiration, but hey!
33
:Even if you don't take my word for it,
try it out for yourself, because once
34
:you hear Tammy's insight about what
she's been through, I think you're
35
:going to have a whole different type of
appreciation as to why, oh why, you can
36
:even start some of the things that she's
been doing for a very long time today.
37
:But with that, let's go to the episode.
38
:Alright, we're here with Tammy Cohen.
39
:Tammy!
40
:Thanks for sharing your
heart with us today.
41
:Tammy: Wow.
42
:I love that.
43
:I love the idea of sharing my heart.
44
:My heart is full, Josh.
45
:So excited to be here.
46
:Joshua: I love that my guests are full
of a lot of great knowledge, subject
47
:areas, and even their stories, but I love
the fact that you're full of just this
48
:awesomeness that you have inside of you.
49
:I'm really excited to talk to you
today about some of your backstory,
50
:so Tammy, I really want to focus a lot
more in our conversation, which for
51
:my listeners, might be a little bit
different from some of my other styles of
52
:guests, about some of your professional
accomplishments, because I think it's a
53
:really interesting story that you have
as it relates to not just those things,
54
:but also the book that you have written,
which I want to spend some time talking
55
:about today too, so I just want to set
that up for our listeners just so that
56
:they're not thrown off, but Tammy, I
already let them know a little bit about
57
:your background, but I want to talk
about your business right off the bat.
58
:It's called Women Beyond the Table.
59
:I wonder if you could tell us a little
bit about why you got started with it.
60
:What got you involved with it?
61
:What do you actually
do with your business?
62
:Tammy: Well, it's really interesting.
63
:That's a great question, Josh.
64
:Let's backtrack a little bit.
65
:One of the businesses that
I have is brand messaging.
66
:I work in the gem and jewelry space as
a brand messaging consultant, and when I
67
:was traveling a lot, it was very involved
with work, and when the pandemic hit and
68
:there was a shutdown, I kind of realized,
"Oh, like, what am I going to do with
69
:myself?", and then I realized, "Oh.
70
:I have a minute to think.
71
:I'm really not that happy with myself,
and I have a lot of things I need to
72
:figure out and work on.", because I was
so busy, I didn't have time to think,
73
:but now I had a lot of time to think.
74
:This is also the time that,
with Women Beyond The Table came
75
:into play and started the book.
76
:It was kind of very simultaneous, so what
happened was I was thinking, "I am working
77
:with one client who has all of my time."
78
:Yes, it's very exciting.
79
:Yes, they're global, and I'm doing
well with them, but the pandemic hit,
80
:and everything stopped, and so did my
income, and I realized I can't have
81
:all my eggs in one basket, and I had
to figure out how to navigate and I had
82
:to figure out, "What am I going to do?"
83
:When I started putting this
all together, I was, "Oh.
84
:I need a business coach.
85
:I need this.
86
:I need so many things.", because
I've kind of had been out of the
87
:industry, working with other people.
88
:I was always with one client, so Josh,
what I did was I started getting out there
89
:and thinking about what do I need to do
to expand my business and to be viable.
90
:As I was doing that, I
was looking on websites.
91
:I mean, I was always a good networker.
92
:I was always a good connector.
93
:I always knew people, but sometimes
there's very specific skill sets
94
:that you need when you want to
expand your business, when you want
95
:to understand technology, when you
don't know how to work on automation.
96
:There's a lot of these platforms out
there that are amazing, but I'm of a
97
:certain age group that it just is very
daunting, so I said to him, "Wouldn't it
98
:be nice?", because I was Googling away.
99
:I was clicking on things, and to get a
download, you have to give your email,
100
:and then the minute you give your email,
you get 3,000 email automations for the
101
:rest of your life; basically one every
day asking you to buy their services,
102
:or bothering you with something, and
you're just like, "I don't care.", so
103
:I said, How would it be if there was
like a network of women, of people I,
104
:could trust that could give me advice,
that could answer questions, that can
105
:connect me to somebody who is trustworthy
to provide a service, or that they
106
:have the service that can help me out
to further my goals?', so that's how
107
:Women Beyond the Table came about.
108
:What happened was I went to five
colleagues and I was like, "Listen.
109
:I have an idea.
110
:What do you think?"
111
:I said.
112
:They go, "Ooh.
113
:It's a good idea.
114
:That's a good idea.
115
:You should do that."
116
:Okay, so, yes, I have an MBA.
117
:Okay.
118
:I got it in 1992.
119
:It's very traditional MBA.
120
:I had no idea.
121
:There's no course work.
122
:How do you start a
global business network?
123
:I said, "Well, I'm going to have a call."
124
:I'm going to say, "I'm going to
call on Zoom, and would you attend?"
125
:They're like, "Yeah.
126
:Sure, like we're your friend.
127
:We'll attend."
128
:"Okay.", so that's how it
started in January:
129
:I made a little agenda, and I sent it to
five people, and it just kind of started
130
:taking on a life of its own, and now here
we are in:
131
:pike, we're doing things, and we have
a website, and we have social media.
132
:We have an advisory board, and we have
members from all around the world, so
133
:it's really, really exciting, and that's
basically where we're at right now.
134
:It's an LLC.
135
:It didn't start that way, and I didn't
even think I could pass the first
136
:year, tell you the truth, but, it
took on a life of its own, and that's
137
:because the women who are attracted
to this group, or part of this group,
138
:are really kind, good natured, smart,
women business owners, really just
139
:want to support and help each other.
140
:They're nonjudgmental.
141
:They're noncompetitive.
142
:We call ourselves a business
network with a soul, and I think
143
:that's what people relate to.
144
:They relate to making friends, having
connections, having people they can trust,
145
:having people that aren't judging them,
a safe space, and I think that's what
146
:kind of missing in the business realm.
147
:We're not C suite women.
148
:We're not the whole corporate thing.
149
:We're really very much women who are
achieving things, and they're the
150
:one woman show, or they have small
businesses, or they've made it to a
151
:certain point, but it's work, and they're
at it every day, so that's who we are.
152
:Joshua: I was going to ask you if the
networks consisted of different types
153
:of people in terms of not only their
personality, but if they feed into an
154
:overall mission, but you answered all
those great things, because I find
155
:that I want to be attracted also to
certain people as well, being a coach
156
:myself, wanting to help expand that
network, being able to associate with
157
:like minded people that are feeding
into the same mission, vision, values,
158
:that I even have for that matter.
159
:Was there an idea, maybe that catapulted
this in the first place in terms of
160
:that need, because I know for some
people, trying to find a niche as to
161
:how you can penetrate into a market,
or even trying to find that voice,
162
:kind of like what I've have worked
with a variety of different people.
163
:Sometimes it means trying to figure
out where is there a need, or a gap.
164
:Did you have to do that kind of
starting out, and if so, maybe you
165
:can walk us through at a high level.
166
:How can people find stuff like that
themselves, where maybe they can
167
:find a niche to help in their sort of
respective area, or field of their choice?
168
:Tammy: That's interesting because
I always look at it from- I work
169
:in brand messaging, so I was
looking at it from, All right.
170
:Who are you?
171
:First of all, what is your story?
172
:What's your deep dive?"
173
:I have a sheet, a deep dive that I do.
174
:It's a discovery thing, and
where you have to really think,
175
:like why do I do what I do?
176
:Why am I in this business?
177
:What do I love about my business?
178
:What do I love about my process?
179
:What do I love about my customers?
180
:You go through all these different
things; the why ladder almost.
181
:Why am I here?
182
:What is this about?
183
:What lights me up?
184
:Does this light me up?
185
:That's the first thing you have to ask
yourself, and then, I also take it one
186
:step further, because you have a service.
187
:You have a product, so you have
an audience that you want to
188
:buy those services/products,
so you have to do the research.
189
:You have to figure out my ideal client.
190
:We have women in the group, actually.
191
:There's one of the women
who's a marketing expert.
192
:She's amazing, and she's been teaching
us about creating the ideal client
193
:persona, and creating an avatar
of your dream client that you want
194
:to attract, but also understanding
that women: where the hanging out?
195
:What are the pain points?
196
:What are their needs?
197
:What are they looking for?
198
:What would make their lives easier?
199
:What can you offer?
200
:What is the benefit you're going
to provide to that ideal client
201
:that they're searching for?
202
:You have to know, in your ideal client
persona, you actually outline and you
203
:look at who they are, what they're about.
204
:This is the person you want to bring
in, but what are their needs, and
205
:that's really what it's all about.
206
:I think in business, it's about
providing value, and bringing benefit,
207
:and understanding what your target
audience is not getting, and learning
208
:what they're not getting, and what their
pain points are, and going in there
209
:and saying, "I can help you with that."
210
:"I can help you with that.", but you have
to have some authority, and you have to
211
:be able to build trust, and I'm really
leery, and the first thing I always say
212
:to people is, "Never pitch anybody."
213
:Never try to sell anybody.
214
:Have a conversation.", because anybody
you want to bring in as a client,
215
:like if you were meeting somebody
for the first time at a cocktail
216
:party, you're going to be like, "Hi!
217
:I'm Tammy Cohen.
218
:I do this.
219
:I do that.
220
:These are my clients."
221
:"I've won this award, and
do you want my services?"
222
:They would look at you like, "What?",
If you're at a wedding, okay.
223
:It's the same thing.
224
:Build and have a conversation, and
figure out where they're hanging
225
:out, and then meet them that way,
and comment on their social media
226
:platforms, and be engaging with them,
and they'll get to know you that way.
227
:It's so interesting to me, because
I really was never much into posting
228
:myself, but I was more into looking
at the people that I admire that I
229
:would love to work with, and going
on to their sites and commenting on
230
:what they're doing, and you know what?
231
:The ones who always looking at
their comments, and answering,
232
:and they get to know you that way.
233
:You build up a little bit of
a relationship, and then it's
234
:like, "Let's have a coffee."
235
:"Oh!
236
:You're going to be at that conference?
237
:Let's meet up."
238
:There's a lot of ways to go about
it, but I think it's about being
239
:transparent, being a human being.
240
:Figuring out how you're going to
serve, not who's going to serve you.
241
:Joshua: I love that.
242
:I was chuckling to myself as you
saw as I was doing this, and I know
243
:that for my listeners, you only are
hearing the audio, but I was literally
244
:chuckling, because every single thing
you said, I've seen other people do.
245
:They're running up, getting up to
someone's face, being like, "Here's
246
:my business!", and vomiting all this
information that they never even asked.
247
:They never were approached
to be asked about.
248
:I mean, I tell people have an elevator
speech ready, but that doesn't give you
249
:credence to go up to somebody when they
didn't ask for it to just share all these
250
:things because we are not ready for that.
251
:We don't want to hear what you have
to say until we get to that point.
252
:Maybe we already have somebody already
doing that for us like you said, so
253
:I find that all fascinating to me,
because it's just about being not just
254
:persistent, which, yeah, there's a
level of what persistence, and I use
255
:air quotes on that, how much level you
get into when it comes to that, but even
256
:from myself being that I just started in
the last year and a half or so, I don't
257
:want to be somebody that is like, "Oh!
258
:I'm an authority and all this.",
when I know that there's people
259
:20, 30 years already doing this.
260
:I know where my lane is and I will
build up to that, so you share
261
:some valuable points with that, so
listeners, if you weren't paying
262
:attention to that, you should.
263
:Tammy was just throwing
some truth bombs there.
264
:Tammy: I think what you said is
really excellent, Josh, because
265
:knowing your lane is important.
266
:I'm not saying, "Oh, you have to stick
that way and you can't deviate.",
267
:because you know how the road is, right?
268
:Joshua: Yeah.
269
:Tammy: Our life is a road, and there's
a lot of turn offs and things that
270
:happen, but when you understand your
lane, where your strengths are, and
271
:what you're good at, you can dominate
that lane pretty easily, because
272
:you're synergistic of where you're
supposed to be at today, at this time.
273
:I don't think about the future.
274
:I mean, why bother?
275
:Just do it now.
276
:Do whatever you need to do right now.
277
:That's it.
278
:Joshua: I think of it, and I've shared
this with even some clients of mine too
279
:is about scalability, so you might be
at this today, and I'm like at a lower
280
:level, but I might be at a higher level
down the road, because of what I'm
281
:building myself up to, so being able to
know when you're ready to do that, always
282
:growing, always being able to expand
at that time, so that's why I resonate
283
:with it, because I know my lane right
now, but that lane, I'm going to take
284
:a left turn and be in the left lane at
some point, and even further left lane.
285
:Yeah.
286
:Tammy: And you know what?
287
:Just because that road has some
potholes, and is a little bit gnarly,
288
:doesn't mean you jump off of it either.
289
:That's the beauty of it, right?
290
:You're going to have challenges.
291
:It doesn't mean you're wrong.
292
:It just means that you
have to figure it out.
293
:There's a lesson that God wants you to
figure it out, and you have to learn
294
:it, because you'll get to the next level
once you've learned that lesson, and
295
:there's a reason you have to know it.
296
:Joshua: Perfect segue into your book.
297
:I love the title of this, so I will
have this in the episode notes, but
298
:I got to read this out, Tammy, so
Text Messages To My Sons: Connecting
299
:Deeply In A World of Devices, and
when I read it, I thought, "I really,
300
:really, really, really hated my phone."
301
:at a moment of time where I thought,
"I don't know why I keep this.",
302
:but then I read this title of this
book and I thinking, "You know what?
303
:This device is so powerful.", but I know
that the title might be a lot more than
304
:what's on the surface, so you talked
a little bit about that development
305
:of yourself and that ties so well
into this so I'm going to let you talk
306
:a little bit about the book and why
you wrote it, but what do people get
307
:out of that book if they pick it up?
308
:Tammy: Okay, so I never had any
intention of writing a book.
309
:I didn't do any of these text
messages to my kids, my three sons.
310
:I never thought about a book.
311
:What happened was, during the pandemic,
once again, the shutdown, and I was
312
:going through this learning phase,
this personal, growth development.
313
:I was in it.
314
:I was really in it, and the
coaches, and the Mindvalley and Tony
315
:Robbins and Jay Shetty, and I was
on Life Block, and Joe Dispenza.
316
:I just was going on and on and
on because like you said, right?
317
:There's people who've been 30 years
learning and researching things
318
:and coming up with amazing ideas.
319
:You can read their books, and get
what took them 30 years to figure out.
320
:You can get that in a
book, so I was reading.
321
:I was in quantum physics.
322
:I still am.
323
:I was all over the place, and I
said, "You know what?", I said.
324
:"I want to reach my kids where they're at.
325
:Not where I'm at."
326
:Where I'm at, I like having
in person conversations, Josh.
327
:I like picking up the phone.
328
:I like having a conversation.
329
:I'm a connector like that, but that's
not where a lot of people are today.
330
:They're on their devices, and you go out
to dinner, you sit at a table with people,
331
:and they're all looking at their phone.
332
:You can go to sporting events, you
know, people looking at their phones,
333
:so that's where they're at, so you
have to reach them that way, and I
334
:never thought for a minute that I
expected anything back from my kids.
335
:I didn't expect them to reply and say,
"I love you, Mom.", or, "You're amazing."
336
:No.
337
:I just said, I want to send
them this; this is my main goal.
338
:Every day.
339
:Five days a week, not on weekends,
I send them a message with love.
340
:How much I love them.
341
:How important they are.
342
:How worthy they are.
343
:I provide inspiration, something that
is really inspirational, but I was
344
:sharing knowledge, because I was so
excited about what I was learning, I
345
:wanted to share it with them, because
I'm a human being, and I need- I
346
:grow and I'm learning this stuff.
347
:It's really cool.
348
:I think you should know it exists; know
it's a possibility, and I was sharing
349
:quotes, and I was asking them what
they think, and what my insight was on
350
:something, but it was also able to be
accountable to them in these messages,
351
:and admit how many times I was unhappy,
and I might've done something to them, or
352
:said something to them, or acted a certain
way, and they, as a child, think they did
353
:something, and they didn't do anything.
354
:It was just me.
355
:It was me where my head was, and they
started to see me as a person, and
356
:I really was being accountable, and
I was trying to explain sometimes,
357
:because it hurts me like when you
not nice to your kid, or when you're
358
:screaming, or you're out of control,
because you are out of control.
359
:It has nothing to do with them.
360
:They're not the trigger.
361
:You're just not okay, and I
went through many years of that.
362
:Listen, we all have our origin story
of how we grew up and what we bring
363
:along with us, and the baggage, and
the behaviors, and things like that,
364
:so I want to be more cognizant of it,
and what happened was I got into this
365
:rhythm with them and I did it every day.
366
:You know what?
367
:I just committed to doing it,
and I'm still doing it, even
368
:though the book came out.
369
:What happened was I was just telling
colleagues and friends and people
370
:I know, like, "This is what I do.
371
:This is what I'm doing.", and
they were like, "Oh my God!
372
:That's amazing!
373
:You should put that in a book.
374
:Why don't you put that in a
book?", and I was just like, "What?
375
:What do you mean put it in a book?
376
:I don't know how to write a book.
377
:What do you mean write a book?", so,
what happened was enough people started
378
:saying it, and I was like, "You know what?
379
:I should look into this.", and that's
how Text Messages To My Sons: Connecting
380
:People In The World of Devices, and
what was really amazing to me is not
381
:only did my kids get involved with
this process of getting this book
382
:out there, they wrote the forward.
383
:They wrote the foreword of what it
means to them to get these messages,
384
:because they know they're loved.
385
:They know that regardless of what
somebody gives a shit, somebody cares.
386
:Somebody thinks they're all that, and
that I'm sharing interesting things.
387
:Now the book, itself, is written
in 10 chapters: mindfulness
388
:and gratitude, discipline and
determination, leadership, focus, all
389
:kinds of chapters, and the messages
that apply go into those chapters.
390
:It's the first book ever written in
text message format, so it's really
391
:easy to read, so people are telling
me, "I love this book because it's so
392
:easy to read.", and they're so used
to reading text, and you know what?
393
:I can jump anywhere in
that book to get inspired.
394
:There's no story development.
395
:There's no character development, so
you don't have to start from a, and go
396
:through each page, because you're going
to miss a detail, so people are loving it.
397
:They tell me it's really easy,
and I'm just so taken aback by
398
:it because they're like, "Wow!
399
:These messages are amazing and so
meaningful.", and I said, "Thank you.
400
:I just was writing what I was
learning it from my heart.
401
:I wasn't really thinking more than that."
402
:Now, when I actually wanted to do a book,
I went to professionals and I asked them
403
:for editing because I needed editing.
404
:I didn't know how to edit properly.
405
:I didn't know how to do citations, because
there's a lot of quotes, and you have to
406
:make sure they're attributed correctly.
407
:I didn't know how to format,
and also there was a designer.
408
:We had to hire for the cover, because
the covers, the back cover and the
409
:front cover, have to be designed,
and we wanted it to be eye catching.
410
:My kids were, like I said, they
got involved with it, and I really
411
:took whatever they said to heart,
because I wanted their imprint
412
:on it too, and you know what?
413
:There we are.
414
:It took eight months to
publish, and we're out.
415
:It's been out.
416
:I'm excited about it.
417
:Joshua: First off, my mom and you should
talk, because she doesn't know how to
418
:use her cell phone, and I wish that she
would text me more as opposed to sending
419
:me emails or messages on Facebook.
420
:I just want to text.
421
:Give me a text, mom!
422
:Maybe you could show
her a couple of things.
423
:Tammy: I would show her how to text.
424
:You know, I'm going to tell you,
Josh, that I have adults who say to
425
:me, " I just started texting my kids.
426
:I'm texting them."
427
:I've had adults tell me, "I feel
like there's less tension since I
428
:started.", and some people like, "Well,
what if they don't answer me back?"
429
:I said, "You know, they don't
have to answer you back.
430
:It's not about them answering you back.
431
:It's about you reaching out to them.", and
over time, every message sinks in, and the
432
:day that you're no longer on this planet,
you know what they're going to remember?
433
:You know what they're going
to really miss from you?
434
:They're going to miss those
messages, and you know what?
435
:They might start doing
it with their loved ones.
436
:They might start spreading it out,
so what we have to do is spread
437
:love, light, inspiration, real
knowledge, because it's the only way
438
:to counter what's going on out there.
439
:Now, look, devices are
neither good nor bad.
440
:They're a technology, right?
441
:Joshua: Yeah.
442
:Tammy: What is really bad is the content.
443
:Everything is about the content that
you're sending, and the content that
444
:you're receiving, and in order for us to
change these algorithms that are based
445
:on hate, propaganda, this is what the
turning up because this is what humans
446
:always respond to, and what our kids
are seeing, we have to bring light.
447
:We have to do the opposite.
448
:We have to work really hard at this,
because it's a much bigger issue
449
:than just sending messages of love.
450
:Messages of love are beautiful.
451
:Love is the highest frequency.
452
:Gratitude is a high frequency.
453
:What we're getting now is low level,
low frequency disinformation, and things
454
:that are being said, and repeated, and
going on, and it's just mind boggling,
455
:and I'm fearful that we're really at
this place that as a culture, we're being
456
:completely rewritten and rechanged, and
we don't even know it, because we're so
457
:hooked into these devices that are just
stealing our focus, our attention, our
458
:over engagement, too much of this negative
information, so I'm trying to find a way
459
:to inspire people to change that paradigm.
460
:That's what I'm trying to do.
461
:Joshua: That's why my comment comes
from that place, because I feel
462
:that those are the remnants of being
able to hold on to somebody that
463
:might not be around on this earth.
464
:I know my mom only has a finite
amount of time, and that's why I kind
465
:of appreciate the book you written,
because you show an example, an actual
466
:testimony, of this is what I did with
my sons and look what awesome things we
467
:were able to share and collaborate on.
468
:I actually am curious about this.
469
:This is a question that came to my mind
when you were explaining it earlier.
470
:Were your sons hesitant when you started
texting them all these inspirations,
471
:these quotes, these conversations?
472
:Were they a little apprehensive
about doing it at first?
473
:I'm kind of curious.
474
:Tammy: You know what the funny
thing was, is that they were
475
:like, "Your texts are really long.
476
:I was like, "Yeah, because I'm into
my thing.", and they're like, "They're
477
:very long, but they're well written."
478
:Joshua: Well, you know what-
479
:Tammy: They got a kick out of it.
480
:Sometimes, we actually
discuss whatever I text.
481
:We'd have all thing about it,
because they come over for
482
:Friday night dinner every week.
483
:We try to have at least one night,
because two of them don't live at home.
484
:We try to get together for Friday
night dinner, and then we'll discuss
485
:a topic, but they always got a kick
out of how long winded I can be.
486
:Joshua: Since they wrote your forward,
I guess then they were a little
487
:long winded, and probably doing
that then to give you a little bit
488
:of payback, like, "I got your mom.
489
:Now I'm going to do this for you, and
I'm going to write whatever I want."
490
:Tammy: Yeah.
491
:You know what?
492
:They surprised me, because I thought I
would have to ask them like a hundred
493
:times to do the forward, or did you do it?
494
:They were like, "Yeah,
we want to do a forward."
495
:I'm like, "Okay."
496
:"Did you do it?"
497
:"Did you do it?"
498
:No.
499
:They actually just took
it upon themselves.
500
:The three of them got together and
they did it, and I was really pleased.
501
:I was really impressed.
502
:It's such a big shift because I started
texting when they got their phones.
503
:Now, my kids got their phones later
than most kids today, because they
504
:grew up, like my oldest is 30.
505
:I'm lucky.
506
:I'm worried about little kids having
phones, to be perfectly honest
507
:with you, but it's out there there.
508
:They have phones.
509
:They have devices.
510
:All of my texts, Josh were like
reminders, reprimands, or commands.
511
:"Where are you?"
512
:"What do you want?
513
:You want money?
514
:You want money?
515
:What do you want?"
516
:I'm busy."
517
:"What do you want?"
518
:"What did you forget?"
519
:"Would you be here?"
520
:"I'm picking you up."
521
:There was no exchange, and they
would answer me with three letter
522
:acronyms like they use now.
523
:All those three letter acronyms.
524
:Joshua: WYD.
525
:That's a new one I've been learning.
526
:What are you doing?
527
:Tammy: I was like, "I
don't know what these mean.
528
:What do you mean?", or I'd send
them a whole reprimand, like well
529
:written reprimand, because I was
upset about something, and I said,
530
:"I don't want to communicate like
this anymore.", not to say that
531
:we don't have texts that say like,
"What time are you going to be at the
532
:restaurant?", or, "Where are you going?
533
:Let's meet up.", but I wanted to give
something else besides that typical,
534
:not really warm, connecting kind of
conversation, which is the typical
535
:conversation that a lot of us have
with our kids on the phone, on text.
536
:Joshua: But, you know, you said
something earlier that strikes
537
:me, and it's something that I
didn't learn until much later.
538
:I'm 37.
539
:I admit that.
540
:I don't care my listeners know.
541
:They know that I'm a young sap, but
you could be technically my mom,
542
:which I'm not going to say that.
543
:Tammy: I could totally
be technically your mom.
544
:Joshua: Yeah.
545
:Yeah.
546
:You could adopt me if you want.
547
:I mean, I am going to need- no.
548
:My real mom would be mad if she
found out that you did that, but-
549
:Tammy: She might be offended, Josh.
550
:Joshua: She might be, but you know what?
551
:My mom loves me anyway.
552
:She will always love me, and
that's what I love about moms.
553
:Tammy: We love our kids.
554
:Joshua: But, you said
something that's so important.
555
:Sometimes, we're thinking about,
"This is what I got to say.
556
:This is how I'm going to say it, and
this is what my role is.", but you take
557
:a big step back, and saying, "Yeah.
558
:This technology can have some big harm,
but I'm using it for good.", and I
559
:feel that you did that with your sons,
because it sounds to me that you have
560
:a much better relationship with all of
them, and you have three sons, correct?
561
:Tammy: Yes, three sons.
562
:Joshua: Do you have better
relationships with all three of
563
:them as a result of doing this?
564
:Tammy: You know what?
565
:I think they've grown to see me as a
human being, and I think that's great.
566
:Listen.
567
:Am I their buddy?
568
:We're not buddies.
569
:I mean, I like to think that they
would see me as somebody that they
570
:could talk to, but they do come
to me when they have an issue.
571
:They do still talk to me
if something's going on.
572
:They want my input.
573
:They'll have something that they
need to figure out, and ask me my
574
:input, so that means a lot to me.
575
:That means that they care.
576
:Are we like, "Oh my God, love you.
577
:Let's vacation and be
together all the time."
578
:No!
579
:They have their space.
580
:Two of them live downtown.
581
:I don't get downtown all the time.
582
:They try to come uptown once a week, or
twice a week, so we can get together, but
583
:at the end of the day, I feel like they
see me differently than just a parent.
584
:I remember all the times they
used to tell me, "You don't
585
:know what you're talking about.
586
:Relax.
587
:You don't know what you're talking
about.", because I would blow up, or I
588
:will lose my mind, and I didn't think
I was wrong most of the time, and now
589
:we don't have those conversations,
because I was accountable and I think
590
:that's what changed us, and I don't
sit here and make, "Oh, I'm sorry.
591
:I'm sorry.
592
:I did this.
593
:I did that."
594
:No.
595
:I just shared, but they know I'm their
mother, and they have to respect me
596
:at the end of the day, and respect
is earned, and I respect them.
597
:You have to give respect, and then they
model, so if you're giving respect, and
598
:you're acting a certain way, and you're
being accountable, and you're ethical,
599
:and your character coming through, they
will model that, and they will feel
600
:it, and it will be more of a- I want
to say transparent relationship, in a
601
:way, so I think that's the difference.
602
:Joshua: I love all of this.
603
:I love our conversation today.
604
:I think that you've touched on some
very valuable points that I know I
605
:have some moms that are listening to
my podcast, and they have sons and
606
:daughters that go from a variety of
different ages that I think that you are
607
:demonstrating today how technology can
be for our favor, as opposed to against
608
:us, and I love that so much, and again,
I appreciate you sharing all this.
609
:Tammy, I'm going to give you
the last few minutes now.
610
:Maybe you want to let people know a little
bit about how they can reach out to you
611
:if they're interested in working with you.
612
:You do a lot of different
things with leadership and brand
613
:consulting, which we've talked about.
614
:Also list out how they
can pick up your book.
615
:I would love for them to pick up your book
after hearing a little bit about it today.
616
:I'm going to give you the last
few minutes to do all that.
617
:Tammy: Thank you, Josh,
so my website is www.
618
:t.
619
:as in Tom, C as in cat,
so that's Tammy Cohen, T.
620
:C.
621
:Brands, B R A N D, consulting.
622
:com, so everything, Women Beyond
the Table, I have a podcast called
623
:Beyond the Table, my brand messaging
services, even Text Messages To My Sons.
624
:The book is on the website
and how to contact me.
625
:The book is available for sale
in ebook and print paperback on
626
:Amazon, and it's easy to find it.
627
:I use Tammy J.
628
:Cohen on my book.
629
:It's Tammy J.
630
:Cohen.
631
:Why?
632
:Because there are a lot of Tammy cones
out there, and there happens to be Tammy
633
:Cohn authors, so I said let me put the J
in there so I could separate myself out
634
:a little bit, but yeah, Text Messages
To My Sons is available on Amazon.
635
:There's also a link, of course, directly
on my website to get there, so that's
636
:probably the best way to reach me,
and the best way to get the book.
637
:Joshua: Awesome.
638
:I'll put all that in the episode notes for
any of my listeners that wake to reach out
639
:to Tammy and continue the conversation.
640
:Maybe she can help you out with all
those things that she does, but I
641
:definitely recommend picking up the book.
642
:I know I'm going to.
643
:It's a very fascinating read from
what I read already on the website,
644
:and I really want to pick it up, but
Tammy, I just want to say I am from
645
:a different generation, obviously.
646
:We've already kind of dispelled all that
today, but you've taught me something
647
:about not only fostering relationships
with other people about not just breathing
648
:down their necks, and trying to get
that quick sale, but building authentic
649
:relationships and I think that we-
650
:Tammy: Connection.
651
:Joshua: Yes.
652
:Tammy: Humans need connection.
653
:Joshua: Yes.
654
:Tammy: Doesn't matter.
655
:We're all the same.
656
:They're searching for it.
657
:They want it.
658
:They want that connection, and
nothing but a quick sale anymore.
659
:It's almost like it's shady.
660
:Joshua: Yeah.
661
:Tammy: They they want to
know you a little bit.
662
:You want to find that
commonality, and you know what?
663
:Don't you find that when you find
something common, when you have
664
:something in common with somebody, you
just automatically feel closer to them?
665
:Joshua: Yes.
666
:You do, and I feel a little bit closer
because of the connection that we've made
667
:just by talking about all these things.
668
:I feel like one of your sons, and because
of that, I'm going to leave it on that.
669
:Tammy, thanks so much for being
on Speaking From The Heart.
670
:I really did appreciate our
conversation, and I know our listeners
671
:will get a lot out of it as well,
so thank you for your time today.
672
:Tammy: Well, thank you,
Josh, for having me.
673
:I appreciate it, and
it was such a pleasure.
674
:Joshua: Again, I want to thank Tammy so
much for her time and spending a little
675
:bit of it with me to talk about her
ability to keep on moving past all the
676
:different things that have happened in
her life, but yet at the same token, being
677
:able to spill into other people's lives,
giving them ideas, working with all kinds
678
:of different perspectives and allowing
them to see it for themselves of what
679
:they could potentially become, but it all
starts with an idea, so I have to ask you,
680
:right off the bat, even after listening
to this today, where are you getting some
681
:of your ideas that you're working on?
682
:Maybe it's from people that
you pick up along the way.
683
:Maybe they're things that you have
seen at meetings, conferences,
684
:even your significant others.
685
:Having that "aha" moment, in which you can
go into a variety of different directions,
686
:can help you go where you need to go.
687
:It's just a starting point.
688
:I know of many things that even my own
clients have done, mind mapping for
689
:that matter, that help you to connect
one thought to another and how they
690
:relate in a significant fashion, but
it's really about that expansion, taking
691
:that idea and running with it often
times is where most people fall flat,
692
:because they don't have the necessary
relationships, the right resources
693
:for that matter, to make that happen.
694
:Whether it's financial, whether
it's something with capital that you
695
:need to have, whether it's even just
having a brand behind it, having those
696
:networks that help you to answer those
questions, especially in Tammy's case,
697
:really gave her that opportunity, that
idea to create the table that she has
698
:created and has been so successful at.
699
:If you think about it, we have created
these kind of tables in our own lives.
700
:Whether those are the family tables that
we grew up around with our kids, or even
701
:working with the ways in which we have
done it, or even working with kids that
702
:are in the lunch table at our own school.
703
:We were able to create these relationships
and dive into them because we simply
704
:knew that with sharing those kinds of
ideas with them, being part of that grand
705
:adventure, that meant that we had the
immediate support of some of those people.
706
:We knew that regardless of what we
said, they were going to buy into it,
707
:and that's usually where it starts.
708
:It starts right from where that
centerpiece is and it allows you to
709
:expand beyond, so having those right
relationships can make your role
710
:as a connector even more viable.
711
:It's helped even Tammy for that matter
to get clients and work with them to get
712
:brands that are really well recognized,
but you have to realize, having that sheet
713
:of where you're deep diving into, the
research that you need to do in order to
714
:understand the industry, the requirements
to enter that industry, whether it's
715
:from a legal standpoint, a financial
standpoint, or other things, means
716
:that you have to understand who you're
trying to achieve as your ideal client.
717
:For me, I'm still working on a
variety of different angles as to
718
:what exactly is my ideal client.
719
:Originally, it started out as
anybody 18 years and older that
720
:has a living, breathing pulse.
721
:Well, I realized that that might not be
the best way to go about my business.
722
:That is not necessarily narrowing it down.
723
:I'm trying to reach so many types of
people, while at the same time, I'm not
724
:getting any people for that matter, and
that was something that I learned very
725
:hard early on in my business that I then
roped back very quickly, and now feel
726
:like I'm a lot more tailored towards
who I'm trying to approach: people that
727
:want to work on their public speaking,
but all the things that they want to
728
:do to help themselves become better
versions of themselves, and providing
729
:a list of services that surround that
concept, but you have to understand
730
:that you have to bring experience.
731
:You have to also show what you
are providing that other people
732
:will want to work with you on
so that you bring the goods.
733
:It's not easy sometimes to show
that authority, that trust, because
734
:if you think that just simply
pitching to someone is going to get
735
:you where you need to go, you got
another thing coming to you, buddy.
736
:It's not just about pitching all the time.
737
:Knowing your lane, and knowing how
you get into that area is something
738
:that is really important, and she even
talked about it with her book, which
739
:again, I'll put that in the episode
notes so you could take a look at it,
740
:but connecting the people means that
you have to meet them at their level.
741
:A simple question such as, "Is
it better if I texted you, call
742
:you, or even met with you in
person to discuss these things?"
743
:In this ever changing world that we live
in, especially with the enhancement of
744
:technology since the post COVID world
has occurred, we have to meet people in
745
:certain dimensions at their own leisure.
746
:It means that even for business owners
and for people like you and me, we have
747
:to meet them where they're at, and some
people are simply not willing to adjust
748
:to it, and it isn't because they're old,
and they don't understand the technology.,
749
:Although some people would claim that is
the case, that's not always the truth.
750
:It might not even be about
trying to meet people that way.
751
:It takes a significant amount of time
and commitment to be able to do that,
752
:which we've already talked about in
an earlier monologue episode about the
753
:importance of understanding that time,
but at the same token, they have to learn
754
:new devices, new software, new tools
of which they might have to navigate
755
:through this ever traversed environment
that we live in that's always constantly
756
:changing, especially as I've mentioned
in even other episodes, the role of
757
:artificial intelligence, because of
all those things, that's what sometimes
758
:creates that divide, but we have to
be accountable with what we share as
759
:our message, and that's really what I
loved about Tammy's point of view today,
760
:especially when she talks about her book.
761
:It really shared what we need
to do to grow, and by growing,
762
:whether we're leaving behind
messages that makes us relatable
763
:to them and others, that's the key.
764
:We're able to understand that connection
with somebody else if we're able to learn
765
:how we are able to grow, and meet them
halfway, and that is really the biggest
766
:part of what we always are missing when
we're having this kind of conversation.
767
:Every message that we send is important.
768
:It's mind boggling of all the things
that we can do, but yet we have to
769
:spread the love, the light, and the
inspiration, as Tammy even alluded
770
:to, in order to be able to do that.
771
:Do we fall flat though?
772
:Yes, and I can't tell you how many times
I've fallen flat with even closing that
773
:deal, trying to get that next client,
and even keeping that relationship
774
:that I know that I need to have.
775
:It's all about the
experience of being human.
776
:We have to generate that connection,
but at the same time, hold ourselves
777
:accountable as to when those things
fail, what can we do to do better
778
:the next time that we go about it.
779
:I know that for many of us going through
this kind of relationship building, or
780
:even dealing with some of the things that
we have to deal with when it comes to this
781
:enlightenment, this ability for us to gain
new ideas and explore them, means that
782
:we have to be a little bit more risque.
783
:We've talked about even the challenges
that we will be having in a future
784
:episode as it relates to this, but
I have to say, for somebody that
785
:has worked on networking for so many
years, I think Tammy's got a point.
786
:If we are really able to authentically
connect with each other and build
787
:that relationship of trust, we
have to start with ourselves.
788
:It means that we also have to learn
that not everybody's going to be the
789
:best person that we get to work with.
790
:It doesn't matter if we're talking about
this in a business context, or we're
791
:talking about this in the relationships
that we have with each other.
792
:We have to learn how to meet halfway,
and even with the fact that we can be
793
:over the phone or texting to make those
points, just know that every message is
794
:important, and that every time that you
send a message that is heartfelt, even
795
:if you never get a reply, and except if
it's never received, which that sometimes
796
:can happen, especially if you send that
snail mail from the United States Postal
797
:Service here in the United States, I
will tell you, they will feel a sense of
798
:change in the warm and fuzziness knowing
that they were being thought about,
799
:and that is the love language that we
always want to have by the end of the
800
:day: to feel like we're being heard.
801
:Tammy's not too far off from the advice
that I've been given even growing up.
802
:Even if other people don't have
anything nice to say, or they don't have
803
:anything they want to give you, always
treat them with kindness and respect.
804
:Even if you think that you've been done
wrong, and even if you have pointed it
805
:out, and they never corrected it, it's
always about the things that you do
806
:that are being witnessed, and also not
witnessed, because every time that you
807
:do it, somebody is always looking out.
808
:I love the relationships that Tammy
is forming, and it just shows an
809
:example that all of us can do better.
810
:It doesn't necessarily mean that we're
going to have it in a perfect context,
811
:but the main purpose of even doing
this podcast, Speaking From the Heart,
812
:is to authentically shine a light
on the things that sometimes we're
813
:uncomfortable talking about, but doing
it in a most productive, constructive
814
:way to give everybody a chance,
because we all deserve that chance.
815
:We all deserve that ability to be
accountable with what is being shared.
816
:We all have that willingness to
learn and grow, but it's also
817
:the way in which we approach it.
818
:You don't have to write
a book to figure it out.
819
:Tammy did it though, because I think
that not only does she want to spread
820
:her message across the world, which
any great author would want to do, but
821
:I think she wanted to write a letter
to all the people, even her family
822
:members for that matter, of why it's so
important to have that genuine connection.
823
:We all can do this in one way or another.
824
:Even if we decide that tomorrow we will
pick up the phone after listening to
825
:today's episode, and call that person that
we haven't talked to in so many years.
826
:Even if that person is no
longer here, throw up a prayer.
827
:Think of them in your thoughts,
especially as you go about your day.
828
:Reminisce on all the good times that
have been there, and trust me on this.
829
:You're going to start shifting even
your own mindset, even without having
830
:that kind of conversation, because
those are the things that you can just
831
:pick up and keep moving ahead, knowing
that you left a marker for somebody to
832
:follow, just like that path that we've
always been talking about on this show,
833
:you can do a deep dive and learn about
the ways in which you, and your ideal
834
:client, or even your ideal relationship,
can happen for so many others.
835
:Your example can be the example
of somebody else, and hey!
836
:Maybe I'll get to read about you
one day when I'm a little bit older,
837
:because you took the advice of our
guest today, and wrote your own book to
838
:leave your own letter, of what is yet
to come, and what you want to see from
839
:the best version of everybody else.
840
:Thanks for listening to episode
number 150 of Speaking From The
841
:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart very soon.
842
:Outro: Thanks for listening.
843
:For more information about our podcast
and future shows, search for Speaking From
844
:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
wherever you listen to your podcasts.
845
:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
for more information about potential
846
:services that can help you create
the best version of yourself.
847
:See you next time.
