We working moms have a lot on our plate: balancing family, home, business, and more can feel exhausting and relentless. But in reality, there are only a few of these things that will really matter in this life and beyond. Our relationships with our family members are high on this list!

Today we're talking about reprioritizing our family, especially when things get crazy as an entrepreneur, as well as how to inspire our own children to burn brightly. After all, what we create in the world will matter very little if we fail at home.

Want to start a business but feeling overwhelmed? Join my Finding Your Side Hustle Course and learn the step-by-step process for starting the business you've been dreaming of.

Ready for one-on-one guidance? Schedule a free coaching call with me so we can make progress on your dreams.

Microphone (HyperX SoloCast): You're

listening to episode 44 of burning

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brightly prioritizing family.

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This is burning brightly, a podcast

for Christian moms who are feeling

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called to build a business and

share their light with the world.

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I'm Bonnie Wiscombe, a life

coach, mom, and entrepreneur.

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And I'm honored to be your guide as you

face this business building adventure full

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of highs, lows, and everything in between.

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This is where we help each

other find the courage to shine.

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Microphone (HyperX SoloCast):

Hello, my friend.

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Welcome back to burning brightly.

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Isn't being a part of a family,

a pretty incredible thing.

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I think it's amazing that we were designed

to come in these little microscopic.

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Communities.

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And learn from each other and grow

and love and fight and forgive and

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have a chance to do all of these.

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Things that were meant to learn

how to do on earth in our families.

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There are.

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No people on earth that we

love more than our families.

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Or that we're more loyal

to than our families.

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And sometimes sadly family members

cause more suffering in our lives.

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Then anything else, but it's

designed to be this way.

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It's supposed to be this way.

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A woman named Tamra Rooney, who is

a leader in my faith recently said

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families are a God-given laboratory

where we're figuring things out.

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And I thought that was such

a beautiful perspective.

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That a family is like a laboratory.

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And like in a laboratory,

sometimes things go as planned.

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Sometimes the results we get are magical.

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Think about when you first looked

at your newborn baby's face.

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Think about.

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Getting married to your spouse.

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Think about the laughs and snuggles

you've had with your family members.

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But sometimes the results

are not so magical.

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Sometimes the results even

explode and hurt people.

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Think about divorce, a death.

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Betrayal, these experiences that rip our

hearts out because they happen to us.

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From some of the people that

we love the most, but this

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is the way it's meant to be.

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In fact, isn't that what life on earth

is supposed to look like overall, like a

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laboratory where we're testing things out,

we're evaluating the results and we're

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shifting and transitioning as needed.

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Now we as women have a very unique and

really special role in our families.

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In my previous podcast, outnumbered

Audrey and I talked about this

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in an episode, we entitled.

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Raising children in a

post Roe V Wade world.

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It was an episode that we had

talked about and planned for

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and researched for forever.

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We really wanted to

talk about abortion and.

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Uh, our sacred role as women in

bringing children to this earth.

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And in that episode, we talked about how

we, women are the gatekeepers of life.

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And I just love that term.

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I think of someone who

keeps a gate as being very.

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Honorable, very courageous, very watchful.

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Very much in tune with what

the person in charge wants.

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Right.

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That being God.

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What does God want for these lives

that we're bringing to earth?

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We get to determine when and where

new life comes to this earth.

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And it's our primary responsibility to

grow and nurture those beautiful children,

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at least for the first few years of life.

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We even get to do it inside our bodies.

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Being pregnant and nursing a baby, some

of the most beautiful experiences ever.

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They're very, very special,

very, very important.

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And sometimes this.

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Privilege is a very heavy

privilege, especially when it

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comes with loss and heartache.

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But being gatekeepers looks like a

lot of different responsibilities.

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The first one I think about is

being really devout in the care

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of our own bodies and minds.

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Making really informed and sacred

decisions about conception.

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About pregnancy, about birth and

partnering with God in these decisions.

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And in other ones that follow, like

raising our children, disciplining

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them, educating them, guiding them

in so many different challenges

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that they will experience.

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All humans have a divine

inheritance as creators.

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I firmly believe that.

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If we are children of the

creator of the universe, then we

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ourselves are creators as well.

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It's impossible to.

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Not beam.

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And I believe that women especially

are divine creators because

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we have this special majority

role of creating the humans.

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And we get this privilege of creating

homes, creating food, creating a

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beautiful atmosphere and so much more

that goes into daily family life.

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Now, some people can complain about this,

that the majority of the housekeeping

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and family rearing falls to women, but

I think it's divinely designed that way.

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As I have learned more

and more about coaching.

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I understand now how and why.

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Uh, mothers mental and emotional health

is so vital for the success of her family.

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It's predominantly because the

children follow the mothers lead.

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Whether she's angry or at peace or sad

or happy frustrated, or mild-mannered.

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You know that whatever your

attitude is or your children

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very likely will follow suit.

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And admittedly, this sounds

like a lot of pressure.

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I get it.

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I don't want to wake up everyday

thinking that my entire household's

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attitude is dependent on my own.

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So instead I choose to make it just a

powerful incentive for me to keep trying

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and learning what I need to do to improve

myself emotionally and how to better

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take care of myself so that I'm in a

good place for my children and husband.

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Now today, I'm gonna talk about

two main areas where we can

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make our family a top priority.

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I believe that after our relationship with

God, And our relationship with ourselves.

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Like I mentioned, a couple episodes

ago that our family is a top priority.

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And when building a business,

this is something we have to keep

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looking at over and over and over.

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So the two areas we're

going to talk about art.

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Number one, when to reprioritize your

family, if things have gotten out of

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whack, And number two, how to teach

our own children to burn brightly,

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just like we're learning to do.

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So first off reprioritizing family on

this show, I talk a lot about making sure

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that you are working towards your dreams.

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Being a stay-at-home mom is a beautiful,

wonderful thing, but for many of us,

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we have felt called to something a

little bit more outside of our home.

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And yet.

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Sometimes our families

need more than usual.

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Sometimes.

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I know you probably know

what this feels like.

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You will feel that tiny nudge to pull

back and stay home a little bit more.

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Sometimes building this business

as a mom requires some gut checks.

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And this is a very, very personal

thing and a very fine line.

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There are weeks when my kids get

really whiny and obnoxious, but I

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know that prioritizing my business

is the more important thing.

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There are other times, and not even

necessarily something I can put

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my finger on, but I just know deep

down that my kids need more of me.

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So that week my business will suffer a

little bit as I reconnect and be more

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present with my family than I usually am.

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So you've probably felt this as well,

you've probably been able to tell when

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your little ones need a little bit more

of you or when someone is suffering in

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some way or when the whiteness is just

par for the course, and it's time to.

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Continue working towards your own dreams.

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So, how do we know when we

should do one or the other?

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Well,

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the best way.

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I know how to.

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Learn when it's time to circle

the wagons and kind of reevaluate

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that work family balance is by

staying in connection with God.

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If I am feeling off kilter,

then I will try to carve out

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more quiet time in my day.

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I try to pray more.

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I try to attend the temple.

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So in our faith, that's, uh, a

quiet place of worship that we

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can attend as often as we need to.

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I dive into scriptures

and other inspired texts.

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And then I look for the answers to come.

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And God is the only one that I will

personally take advice from when I am

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seeking how to achieve that balance.

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Nobody else can tell me.

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They can give me their advice.

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They can give me their experience.

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They can suggest things to me.

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But God is the only one who I'm going

to take that advice from because he's

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the only one that knows everything

that's going on in my family.

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Ask him.

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See what he says and make

adjustments as necessary.

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Now other times it is a little bit more

obvious when our family needs us more.

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For example, I will have a child

who's maybe obviously struggling

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with something, some anxiety or

stress about something in their life.

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Maybe it's an emotional challenge.

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Maybe it's a mental challenge.

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Maybe there's more fighting between

some kids or some disconnect there.

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I'm not feeling.

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Like I'm expressing a lot of

love or connection with my child.

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And sometimes I can honor this need for

more of me and still work on my business.

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I'll give you a quick example.

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A few weeks ago, I had one child in

particular who was causing so many fights.

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Every time I went in my

office or left the house.

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This child was at the

center of all the complex.

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So I decided to take this one with me

to the library when I went to work.

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So I put myself in a study

cubicle and worked on my

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business for a couple of hours.

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And this child sat and read

a book for a couple of hours.

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And it was the quiet time

that this kid needed.

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And a separation from the siblings

and it connected us more as well.

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Other times we simply just have to

shut the computer off and be present

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and I know how hard this can be.

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As much as I love my children.

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I had all of them on purpose.

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I love my large family so much

about it is so fulfilling.

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I want to give them my time and attention.

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It's so important to me.

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However, breaking up fights and

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fulfilling and exciting than working

on my business and coaching clients.

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Those require very different

parts of my brain and heart.

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And when I want to work on my business,

it's maddening to have to shut it down and

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go be with a kid who's causing problems.

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I get it.

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I get it.

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That's human nature.

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It's totally normal.

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But think of what we're learning

and what we're showing our

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children, when we prioritize them.

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It's supposed to be hard, raising

a family's heart in so many ways

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that we don't always recognize.

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Like our laboratory experiments

are things like, Hmm, what will I

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do when my three-year-old hits my

new baby in the face with a metal

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toy, how am I going to react?

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Or what happens when I've asked my

children to do their chores four times

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and everyone is still ignoring me.

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What comes next?

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Uh, family requires hard emotional work.

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And comes with very little obvious pay.

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It does come with a pay.

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I will argue, but it is.

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Very often, not super obvious.

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Choosing to make your family a priority

over your business, where people

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constantly tell you how great you are

and they pay you actual real money.

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We'll likely always be harder.

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So when it feels hard, when it feels like

you don't want to do it, that's okay.

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It's supposed to be that way.

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A great way to ensure that I am

paying attention to my family's needs.

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Is to schedule regular check-ins

maybe a weekly check-in with God.

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Your own gut check, check

in with your spouse.

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Check in with your kids.

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You can do this.

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Literally sit down with

your spouse and say, Hey.

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How do you see my work

balance going right now?

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Do you see me present enough?

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Can I shift things?

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What are things look like

from your side of things?

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Or you can just watch.

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Sometimes I noticed family members

will get short with me because

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they're not getting enough of my

attention and I don't need to ask

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them any questions to figure that out.

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I can just watch.

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So you can ask for feedback from

God, from your family members, but

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also ask for patients from them

because being a working mom is messy.

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It's chaotic and it is a

constant balancing act.

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I know some people don't like the term

balance because it never truly exists.

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I think you're kind of swinging back

and forth on a pendulum, but it requires

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constant motion and it requires patience

for yourself and from other people.

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So ask for it.

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Okay.

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So those are a few tips for prioritizing

or reprioritizing our family.

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When things feel out of whack.

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Number two, in addition to

occasionally circling those wagons

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and reprioritizing the family.

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I believe as business owners,

it's our obligation to teach our

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children how to burn brighter.

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How to be a force for good in the

world and an example of Christ,

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which is what we're all trying to do.

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First answer is just be the example.

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I love talking to my kids about business

and even little ones understand a lot.

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I currently have a son who was a

missionary and I find parallels all the

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time between his missionary work and my

business, especially in marketing, we

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talk about cold contacting and how to

get somebody interested in your message.

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I often share the hard work that

I'm learning in my business lessons

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about human behavior, about my

own beliefs and mental struggles.

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I teach them about coaching all the time.

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Sometimes they hate it.

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Just say, I don't want to hear that mom.

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I'm just angry right now.

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I teach them about making

goals and accomplishing them.

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I have my goals up on a

big poster on my wall.

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So they come in and see it.

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I have vision boards they can see, and

they ask me when we're going on the

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vacation that I'm earning money for.

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As I learn and grow as an entrepreneur,

my kids also learn and grow from me.

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And this is such an incredible legacy.

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Even if our business has never

become six or seven figure.

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Big corporations.

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We can make generational changes

through teaching our children, the

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lessons we're learning in business.

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It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

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Another powerful example I have

taught my kids is the importance of

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getting out of their comfort zone.

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Becoming the kind of people who

know how to talk to others, how to

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strike up conversation, how to find

common beliefs, how to show love.

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How many kids , or adults can do that.

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How many, people get the

opportunity to do it regularly?

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Once your kids learn that they're

just a short step away from teaching

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people about Jesus and showing them.

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How his influence can change their life.

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And I think that's one of

the most important things.

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So in other words, when we get

online and share the things that

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we're passionate about with the

world, Our kids get to learn to do

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the same, not necessarily online,

but just with friends or strangers.

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They get comfortable doing

uncomfortable things.

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And this is an important point.

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Don't forget to share

your reasoning with them.

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I make sure my kids know that I am not

on Instagram so that everybody comes and

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tells me how beautiful and wonderful I am.

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I'm not on it for my own glory or

to become popular for my own sake.

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I tell them that my reasoning is

to share God's love with the world.

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I want to allow people to

feel his love for them.

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I feel hope for their own lives

and spread that love themselves.

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So give them a bigger, why, tell them

what you're doing on the internet.

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Now as a member of my church, we get lots

of chances to speak in front of groups.

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Teaching classes or sometimes

the entire congregation.

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And my kids really benefit from this.

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I'm always really impressed when

young kids get up in front of

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the entire congregation and share

their thoughts and feelings.

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I think it's beautiful, but

sometimes we take it for granted.

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Sometimes we forget what amazing

skills we are developing.

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As entrepreneurs.

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I personally think nothing of

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sharing presentations in person or online

or trainings in front of dozens of people.

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I also share videos online that hundreds,

and sometimes thousands of people watch.

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I know how to start up a conversation

with just about anyone and find

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something in common to talk about.

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And I will admit this was

not always a strength for me.

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It is still sometimes a struggle.

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Sometimes I look at strangers

and think, I don't really want to

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start a conversation right now.

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I really just want to hide here

in the corner and maybe read

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my book or scroll on my phone.

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But it has become a strength

because I keep doing it.

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So building a business, stretches us,

grows us in ways that benefit not only

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us, but the world and our kids, if

we let it and we share it with them.

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So the next time you make a video

online or write an email invite

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one of your children in with you

and say, this is what I'm doing.

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I learned this lesson this week and I'm

going to share it with my email list.

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The point of this is to maybe

uplift them and give them some

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courage to do their own thing.

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I hope that maybe someone will

pay me for my content or services.

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This is a way that I'm trying to

make money and make an impact.

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Pretty fun.

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Now here's a final reminder to not

forget about your wonderful spouse.

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Being the wife or husband of

an entrepreneur is not easy.

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one of my favorite authors is John ACOF.

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He recently talked about how in every

marriage, there is a wow person and a how

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a person, the wow person is the dreamer

that just runs off with every new idea

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they have and how person immediately goes.

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Yeah.

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But how's that going to happen?

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Probably comes as no surprise to

you that I am the wild person.

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I come up with a new idea, every five

seconds, and my husband's sitting

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there with whiplash going, uh, how

are we gonna make all these happen?

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And I just remind him, oh no, we

don't have to make them all happen.

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I'm just going to spout out all my dreams

to you and you get to just listen to them.

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So I regularly pay attention to my

own wellbeing and that of my kids.

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But sometimes since my husband

is an adult, I forget to check in

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with him and see how he's doing.

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I forget to ask him,

am I working too much?

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Am I driving you crazy.

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This is especially difficult.

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If you have a spouse who's

on the quieter side than you.

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I sometimes am guilty of running

my mouth and saying everything that

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comes into my mind and stopping

and listening for my loved ones to

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give me feedback is very important.

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I firmly believe that our spouses love

us and want to support us, but they

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also need support and a listening ear.

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And just because they're not

building a business or maybe

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they're building a business,

that's not as interesting to you.

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Doesn't mean that we shouldn't

stop and give them some time.

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And some of our spouses are

not nearly as good as we are

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at taking care of themselves.

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So be mindful of that.

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My friend, we can fit building a business

into our busy lives as wives and moms.

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I firmly believe that.

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But we have to be flexible and

willing to shift as needed to

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accommodate what our kids, our

spouse, other family members need.

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And as an added benefit, we get to change

the world and our families for the better.

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Uh, along the way.

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It's so fun.

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Okay friends.

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We'll talk next week.