Author, speaker, business coach and podcast host Christy Wright defines “mom guilt”, explains what women in particular intuitively know about business, why more is caught than taught, why the antidote to fear is action, and why to always make the easiest win your first step.

Facing your entrepreneurial fear, that's

what we're talking about on the show today, we have Christy

Wright on the show to talk about overcoming that fear of starting

something new. And so we're just excited to have her talk about

starting a business or any endeavor. Christy, welcome to

the show.

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate

it.

This book. So Business Boutique, it's called. Why

targeted at women directly?

Yeah, that's a great question. And it's

interesting, because I was raised by an entrepreneur. So my

mom started a business when I was six months old to raise and

support me. So I was literally raised in a business at times,

like, I mean, we would go there at two and three in the morning,

you know, for her to bake early. And so I have countless memories

of this cake shop. And it really is kind of the backdrop to my

childhood. And so I have memories of you know, her

pulling me out of bed and go into the bakery to bake and I'd

go to, she'd actually make me a bed on her big huge bags of

powdered sugar and flour. And I'd go back to sleep. You know,

when I was going to school, I'd go to school with a smell a

flower in my hair. And I would always get money out of the cash

drawer, which it's no surprise that her bookkeeper hated me

because guess never balance. But I was a typical child of an

entrepreneur, I was always there. And that was really my

first introduction to business. And from there, I pursued a

degree in business in college, and then started my own side

businesses. Throughout my career. I've always been kind of

a, you know, a go getter, and a doer and a mover and a shaker.

And so I would have my career working for nonprofit, but I had

these side hustles these side gigs. And what I've noticed is

now we really live in the side gig economy where there are over

a million Americans working as freelancers or independent

workers are. So many people have these little side jobs or hide

side hustles. And so I noticed that there's an opportunity to

come alongside women specifically and help them with

the business side of things. Because while pursuing what you

love can be incredibly rewarding the business side of things

overwhelms a lot of people, how do I market myself? Or how do I

stand out in the competition? And how do I sell without

feeling slimy? Or how do I manage my time when I'm a mom,

and one of the things I've noticed is as women, we really

approach business uniquely, because as you know, we're wired

differently as men and women, the book is a step by step plan

to start run or grow your business. But in the book, I

cover all the issues that women need to understand in order to

grow a business. But like, for example, I never talked about

customer service. Like there's not a single chapter in the book

on customer service. And here's why women intuitively take care

of people like you don't have to tell a woman be kind super

served go above and beyond she naturally is very relational.

And she is great at empathizing. And so she's fantastic at

customer service, I don't need to teach that however, because

women are so relational things like selling or pricing yourself

or talking about your product or setting boundaries or policies

makes her feel uncomfortable. And so I spend a lot of time on

how to sell.

So let's talk about the selling part, selling without

feeling slimy. So why do you think they feel that way? And

what are some of the things that you can do woman or or male who

kind of has that resistance?

Sure, well I think for me, it's I have

noticed that everyone probably has been burned by a pushy

salesperson, someone that didn't do it well. And so because

they've had a bad interaction, whether that's a used car

salesman that totally tried to take advantage of them or been

interrupted and kind of bullied by someone in sales, it frames

their perception of sales. So this they have this idea that

sales equals pushy, aggressive, having an agenda, taking

advantage of someone taking their money. And they use all

these words to describe it, when in fact, sales is really about

serving. And so what I do is I spend a lot of time reframing

this idea of sales for people because if you can redefine it

for them and show them what sales truly is, then they can

sell with confidence. So for example, sales is influence. So

influence is simply you know, making an impression on someone

leading someone to a great result. So if you're married,

then you influence someone to spend the rest of their life

with you. That's a big sale. You know, if you got your kids to

eat dinner last night, the thing is, is we're really in the

business of influence. And one of the things I've noticed is

that like, I'm in the business of sales. And so I stand on

stage all time, all the time telling people how to reach

their goals and how to build their business and how to have

more life balance. And you know what no one ever says to me,

that Christy Wright? She's so pushy, telling me I should reach

my goals. Why? Because I'm not selling, I'm just influencing

and when you believe in your product, or your service or your

business, you realize really is about serving and taking care of

the marketplace. Because when you're meeting people's needs,

and you're solving their problems, the sale is natural.

But we focus so often on the pushy side of things that we

hold back and we don't even ask for the sale. Many people don't

have sales simply because they aren't asking.

Right. One of the things that you talked about

specifically in Business Boutique that sort of caught my

attention, was this phrase mom guilt?

I'll tell you I had an experience, I guess it

was about two years ago. So when my son Carter, I was dropping

him off at daycare for the first time, which if you end up taking

your kids to daycare, just know it is a traumatic day. And you

are a basket case, and you're leaving them in the arms and the

care of someone else. And I was leaving daycare that day, just

feeling so guilty that the daycare, by the way, is exactly

like 1/10 of a mile from our office. So this child is right

next to me. He's perfectly safe. I was just overcome with guilt

and feeling what if he needs me? What if he's scared? What if

he's sad? What if he cries? What if, what if what if, and I felt

really honestly, God's say to me in that moment, Christy, I want

you to remember that what you're doing is important. And I felt

God saying what I was driving to which I was driving to one. And

what's interesting is it shifted my perspective, because I think

as parents and as business owners, it's very easy to look

in the rearview mirror of our life, instead of the front

windshield. So we're always focused on what we're leaving

behind. Oh, I feel, you know, when we're at home, I feel

guilty of not getting enough done at work. So we got our

email open, and we've got our phones on, we're always thinking

about where we're not. And then when we go to work, we feel

guilty, we're not with our kids, we're not at home, we're missing

out on soccer games. So I just want you to shift your

perspective, realize that both things that you're doing your

work and your family are very important, and you love them

both very much. And that's okay, that's a good thing. But the

best way to shake the guilt is to focus on wherever you are. So

if you're at work, be there busted, make a difference. But

you're at home, put your computer down, look your kids in

the eye, put your phone away and be present there. So wherever

you are, be there. And for me that has been a game changer

because you are looking through the front windshield instead of

the rearview mirror. And I love how my friend Tony says that he

says I'm always driving to somewhere that I love. When I'm

driving to work, I'm driving to somewhere that I love. And when

I'm driving home, I'm driving somewhere that I love. And it's

it really is about looking where you're going, not focusing on

what you're momentarily leaving behind.

That's strong. Do you think there's value to kids

seeing their mom work?

Yeah I totally do. And here's what's

interesting is, I think it really comes down to whether

you're working a full time professional job in an office

like maybe some of your listeners are or you're working

part time, or you're just using your gifts in some way at home,

even if you're volunteering, like if you're doing something

outside or in addition to of your responsibilities. As a

mother, as a parent, as a dad, I think there is incredible value

in your kids seeing you use your gifts. And for me, my mom, for

example, growing up my mom did not teach me work ethic and

character and perseverance and persistence and resilience. She

lived it and I live it as well. More is caught than taught. And

it's so powerful when you live and your strengths. When you use

your gifts when you do something that is contributing to the

world, whether that's through volunteering, or through your

job or your business, it is an unbelievable example to your

children that is more powerful than anything you could teach

them. So my argument is for for women or for men, is you're not

harming your children by working hard. It doesn't make you a bad

parent. In fact, I think it makes you a better parent. And

Meg Meeker has a fantastic quote, she says the most

powerful way to teach a daughter how to enjoy life is to let her

see her mother do the same. So what does that look like for you

in terms of using your gifts and doing work or doing things that

bring you joy. And like I said, I don't think it makes you a bad

parent, it makes you a better parent. It doesn't make you

selfish, it makes you smart. And you are going to raise children

that have those qualities because you live them out as

well. You know, my mom, her story of the cake shop was the

story of struggle, I certainly didn't have a Pinterest perfect

childhood sleeping on flour and sugar bags. But that is the

story that made me you know, it's the struggle didn't hurt

me. And the struggle is what made me.

When you actually go to start the new thing, what are

the obstacles that we should expect to hit?

Okay, I'll tell you for me in my research, but

also in my personal experiences, the number one thing that you

will experience that will hold you back is fear. The number one

thing now when you're in the workplace, and maybe a different

type of fear. And that voice of fear might be a little bit

different. So for example, when you're doing your own business,

if you had a side business or small business that you want to

start to voice might say something like, Who are you to

do this, someone's doing it better. There's no room for you

in the marketplace. Now when you're in a work environment or

professional environment and you want to launch a new project or

you want to pitch an idea to your leadership team, then the

voice might say something like everyone's gonna make fun of

you. What are people gonna think? Who do you think you are

to try to lead this someone else is already in that position.

That's, that's not in your job description. So the voice might

say something different. I want to be clear there, depending on

the situation that you're in the root of the problem is the same.

You're going to experience fear and fear is very normal. Anytime

that you're doing something new, you're going to have fear creep

up of and it will torment you with these terrifying

possibilities of what's going to happen if you do it. You're

gonna fail. People make fun of you, if you're gonna be

embarrassed, you're gonna post something on Facebook and no

one's gonna like it, you know, you're gonna be a fool. And so

when this fear gets really loud, that's where most people get

stuck because most people believe that fear is a sign

you're doing something bad. It means it's a red flag. So you

should turn back now if I was supposed to do this, it would be

easy. I wouldn't be scared. But I would say the opposite is

true. Fear isn't a sign you're doing something bad. I think

it's a sign you doing. You're doing something bold and I think

that is a good thing. Hang, and even very, very successful

people are scared. Many successful people that are well

known celebrities and athletes have suffered from the imposter

syndrome, which is the syndrome that says, Who are you to do

this, you don't deserve to be here, people like Maya Angelou,

Kate Winslet, Michael Jordan, you know, talk about this fear

of failure, this fear of not being good enough to do the

thing that they're doing. And so I just encourage people, the

antidote to fear is action. The best thing you can do when

you're scared is to take action is to step into that fear. I

tell people all the time, don't wait until you're not scared to

do the thing you want to do. Do it scared? Because that feeling

may never come? You know, I've been scared plenty of times. But

I still walk on the stage, even though I'm scared. So what is

that that you want to do? Is it a project you want to launch? Is

it a new initiative at work that you want to lead? You want to

raise your hands? I think it's time for me to lead this thing.

Is it starting, you know, growing a team from the ground

up, maybe pitching a really big client at work? Maybe it's

starting a site or small business, whatever that thing

is, don't wait until you're not scared to do it, do it scared.

So when you come to actually starting a business,

there's all of these things that suck taxes, insurance, hiring

people, firing people, all of this stuff. You know, if that's

holding someone back, what would you say?

You know, it's interesting, because I think the

whole business side of things really intimidates a lot people,

a lot of people and keeps them from starting businesses, you

feel like before you've started a business, that that stuff, the

insurance, the taxes represents probably 90% of running a

business. But the reality is, it represents about 10%. Now,

granted, it's a very important 10%. But the majority of your

time, the 90%, day to day, it's doing interviews, writing blogs,

serving customers, making sales, it's doing the fun stuff, which

is why you got into business. Now, certainly, you need to take

care of the business side of things, you need to keep your

records, you need to have insurance, you need to pay your

taxes, those things are very, very important. But what I would

say for people that are intimidated by that is if you

can just get help in those areas, you're not expected to be

an expert and everything. But there are probably people around

you on social media, in your church, in your community in

your neighborhood, that if you just simply put a word out,

like, hey, you know, do you know anybody that can help me with

this. And that's true for anything that you're weak. You

know, I tell people again, and again, in business, but also in

leadership, for your listeners that are working in a company in

a career, you are going to be the most successful in life.

Regardless of what type of work you do, you will be the most

successful when you stay on your strengths. And so how that plays

out is you're going to be the most successful, but you're also

going to have the most fun when you do what you're good at. So

for all of the areas that you're weak, especially in business,

just ask for help find people around you that can support you,

you know, my husband is incredible with details. So he

helps me with the organization of things and the follow through

and covering all the bases things I wouldn't even think

about because I'm a creative, I'm a big idea person. So

surround yourself with people that are strong in areas that

you're weak, and then you can stay in your strengths. And

those people get to stay in their strengths as well.

Interesting. Because if you're can get so loud and terrify you

at these possibilities of what will happen and then you stay

stuck and you never do anything, then you continue to believe

that story that you're telling yourself like, Oh, I couldn't do

because it was so big. It turns into this excuse that you

justify being stuck. But the truth is, and that's the reason

I say the antidote to fear is action. Because the best way to

make that fear Shut up is to do it then fear can't torment you

with these terrifying possibilities what will happen

if you do it because you did it and you survived and it's the

best way to make fear, Stop taunting you is when you

actually just step into it and do the thing anyway.

So if somebody is out there right now, and they are

listening, and maybe they have some dream, and they have that

fear, what is the first action that you would tell them to

take?

I would say find out what the quickest win is for

you and your business and your idea so the lowest hanging fruit

so for example if you want to have a huge online community

you've got this big dream and you want to have a big blog and

all that stuff don't get overwhelmed by this big big

idea. Write one blog let's say you want to launch a huge

boutique storefront don't get overwhelmed by all of that just

sell one product make one sale write one blog do one speaking

event what is the thing for you that's the lowest hanging fruit

because if you take that one step I mean just one step that's

all you have to do one baby step that when will feel your

competence to take the second step which will feel your

competence to take the third step and then baby step after a

time months and years later you're living your dream and

you're at that final vision but the truth is it just happened by

taking that first step so whatever that is for you figure

that out your quickest when your lowest hanging fruit take that

step that will fuel your confidence to keep going.

Well my friend, so good to spend some time with you,

Christy Wright is who we're listening to, Business Boutique

is the name of the book. Christy. Thanks for all the work

that you do there and that all y'all do as a team.

Thank you for having me.