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#21 Overcoming Self Sabotage - Art of Life Podcast
Episode 2130th November 2023 • Art of Life • Kanika
00:00:00 00:12:27

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In this episode of The Art of Life Podcast, Kanika focuses on exploring and deconstructing self-sabotage. She discusses the concept of self-sabotage, how it manifests in our lives, and the potential strategies for overcoming it.  

Kanika delves into her personal journey with it and shares an experiment of her 'guilt-free year' - a period in her life where she made a commitment to live without guilt and live truthfully, which she believes contributed to her personal growth and development. 

 She also explains her 'Life Makeover Program', an art therapy meditation program designed to aid personal transformation. Overall, this episode encourages listeners to confront their self-sabotage behaviours and to learn to value their worth. 

🌈 Bullet points + chapter markers 

00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Podcast 

00:49 Understanding Self-Sabotage 

02:30 Examples of Self-Sabotage in Daily Life 

04:04 The Impact of Self-Sabotage on Self-Worth 

05:55 Personal Story: A Year of Guilt-Free Living 

11:24 Conclusion: Encouragement for Self-Improvement and Contact Information 

🌈  Links From This Episode  

🌟 Zen in a Ziffy: Your Ultimate Guide to Grounding and Kicking Stress 

https://artoflifecenter.com/grounding/ 

🌟️ Register today for a full-on Life Makeover – a super easy, gentle and fun way to heal every aspect of your life with Art Therapy Meditations 

https://artoflifecenter.com/art 

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Transcripts

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Welcome to the Art of Life podcast.

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I'm Kanika.

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I'm a meditation teacher, and I use this podcast to talk about my own

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healing journey, really frankly.

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My idea is that I want to share what meditation did for me and just other

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concepts that I've learned along the way, share that as much as possible.

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Speak my own truth as much as possible.

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So that, first of all, I can vibrate in my own truth more.

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I can just own myself more.

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And second, inspire you in the process.

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Give you some tips, give you some perspectives perhaps to look at your life

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in a different manner and heal your life.

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Okay.

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Our topic today is self-sabotage.

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So we are talking, or rather we are breaking down self-sabotage.

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Why does that happen?

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What that means and strategies on how to deal with self-sabotage.

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So first let's just define self-sabotage.

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And at least for me, this hasn't been something really foreign.

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I don't even remember when I started, but there's so many things

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that I've gone like, Oh, I have this idea, but how can I do this?

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You know, even just a very simple thing as starting this podcast or starting my

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own meditation courses, even though I knew that I was really good, but just stepping

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into that zone and owning my own truth and going like this is what I want to do.

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That's a whole big journey.

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So, sabotage, self sabotage is where we will either partially dive in or not

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dive in to whatever we want, we just talk ourselves out of it because somehow

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we believe that we are not worth it.

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You know that affirmation you've probably heard it goes, I am enough,

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but it just does not resonate with us and we don't feel enough.

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We don't feel that our idea has enough value.

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We just don't feel worthy enough.

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We don't feel that we are that intelligent.

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Our story is that special, blah, blah, blah.

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And so we just don't try it or we don't try it fully.

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We don't give it a full shot at all.

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This could be with relationships.

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Maybe there's a fear of commitment.

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You find somebody special and you go, I'm not doing that.

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I'm not stepping into it because I might get hurt.

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There might be a job or something else, which is a really great

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opportunity and you just don't step into it because, you can't.

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Another obvious and very missed example is around clothing.

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Like notice how you dress.

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What colors are you wearing?

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Are you wearing neutrals to just blend in with everybody?

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Are you wearing colors that you would like?

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Are you wearing stuff that makes you feel good.

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Are you dressing for someone outside or are you dressing for yourself?

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Now I have a personal share here.

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So for a long time, I couldn't permit myself to wear heels and

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I did not even realize this.

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It took me a lot of healing.

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And then one day as I put my heels, I realized that oh my God, I was

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just subconsciously telling myself I couldn't wear heels because I'm a

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tall person and it would just make the person next to me not appear as tall.

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So there was just some programming, some unconscious programming

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that did not let me wear heels.

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Not even that those people said it, but maybe it was either in the air or it was

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just unconscious programming that came in.

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But there you go.

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There are all sorts of self sabotage.

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Sabotage where You are either conscious of it or unconscious of it.

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But you don't give yourself a full chance.

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You don't give yourself a chance to be seen.

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You don't give yourself a chance to be heard.

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And you don't value yourself fully.

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And look, this is an inside out process, right, so I've

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got to do that first for me.

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I've got to feel that I am great enough, I'm worthy enough before somebody else

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can do that for me, before the world can resonate in the same frequency, before the

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universe can bring all of that back to me.

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So look at the little things, look at the little stuff that you do for yourself,

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look at stuff that you buy for yourself.

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It doesn't have to be even the most expensive things, but think about

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the soap that you buy for yourself.

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Think about the food that you buy for yourself.

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Do you give yourself permission to actually have what you really want?

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It doesn't matter on the price tag.

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It's more like to give yourself permission to have what you would like.

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Do you give yourself permission to have rest?

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Do you give yourself permission to be, to feel your emotions, to be angry, or do you

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get cross with yourself for being angry?

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Do you get cross with yourself for feeling a certain way because

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society says you should feel.

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differently.

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And just those things, just notice that and they could probably be

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the smaller stepping stones to having an ultimate life of freedom.

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Now, generally, I leave you with a few strategies around dealing

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with concepts that we talk about.

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In this one, I thought I'd just share a personal story.

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So about a year ago, I gave myself a guilt free year.

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Now what that guilt free year meant was that I just gave myself a year

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to be free of guilt, a year to take decisions that I wanted to take, a

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year to be absolutely me and not feel bad, not feel ashamed, not feel sad

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about being crazy, but just taking the decisions that I wanted to take.

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So if I didn't want to go to a party, I would say no, if I

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didn't want to return a call.

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I wouldn't.

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There were friends, so called friends, that I let go during the

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beginning of that guilt free year.

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And I let them go because I just felt that they were not the most nourishing for me.

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In all honesty, the first few months really felt like, what is this?

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Am I really going crazy?

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But I'd given myself one year, I'd given myself one year to be guilt free.

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And I said, okay, in my life, I deserve at least one year of being by myself one

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year of being absolutely how I want to be.

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And with that, I cleared out a whole lot of beliefs, even fears that I was

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working with, like one of the fears, and God bless my parents, one of the fears

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that I had, or one of the beliefs that I had was around not being loved enough.

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So I looked at it around new Year's time in my meditation space and there

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was some past life regression that I was doing at the time as well.

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So in that a lot of past lives came up where I was orphaned or where

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I was left behind, a whole lot of that and God bless my parents.

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It's not that they don't love me, but every parent.

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will consciously or unconsciously program their child as well.

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And somehow I felt that with things that they did or they didn't

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do, they did not love me enough.

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So I got a whole lot of that out with them and spoke with them about it.

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The process was, yes, it was very painful, and apologies to my parents

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as well, but was also a good cleansing.

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program, because I cleaned out all that gritty stuff that I

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was holding and just carrying.

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And after we could work through it, the relationships are solidified.

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It was more truthful, it is more truthful, and I stepped more into my truth as well.

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And now if things don't work out for me.

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I would say I have actually made it almost like a habit.

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It's just very easy for me to go.

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Okay.

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This is not working.

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The relationship, the situation is not working.

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I don't need to be here.

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Now I share this story around a guilt free year very.

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understandingly, that you might not be able to do that, and that's okay, but

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give yourself a guilt free day if you can.

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Give yourself a smaller portion of this.

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Maybe you don't have to do a complete guilt free detox, but you could do, okay,

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I'm just going to start clearing out my relationships, or I'm going to clear

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out some of the time habits that I have.

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Whatever area you want to work in, make that your own and try that for yourself.

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I have to say that giving myself the guilt free year was one of the

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best things that I did for myself.

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I detoxed a lot, my energy changed, people around me noticed a lot of things

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I birthed as well during this time.

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Art of Life podcast being one for example, and the other one is the

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Life Makeover program as well.

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Which is, it's an art therapy meditation program, 10 hours self paced with a lot

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of lessons and coaching and healings with me as well, when you want them.

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But it's totally around shifting your life, transforming your life in every

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single sphere that you can imagine.

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The program, and I'm so proud of it because it is an amalgamation of so

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much that I've learned over the years.

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If you do the program, I can guarantee that you have all the tools to not

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be stuck in life, no matter what life throws at you, you just have

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everything to be able to be unstuck.

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So, with the Guilt Free Year, I birthed a lot of great relationships,

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I had people moving over into my city and around me, just the sort

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of connections that I wanted.

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It turned out to be the most fabulous year because I cleaned, I

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pruned, and I prepped the stage to have the new vibrations coming in.

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A lot came in with that guilty year.

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So I wish you the same thing.

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I wish that you can hold that space for yourself as well and start cleaning out.

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You know, as I record this episode, this is November, and we'll soon

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be setting into December, we'll be bringing in the New Year vibrations.

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It's a good time to start pruning, to start cleaning,

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to start preparing for 2024.

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Often when we get into December, it's a little bit late, but I urge you to

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use this, like that new energy where you can just start birthing new things.

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To get to that, you need to clean up right now.

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So clean up the stuff where you are self sabotaging, smallest of things

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and the biggest of things where you feel that you are not letting

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yourself being seen, valued or heard.

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Yeah.

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So today is a really, really short podcast, but thanks so much for tuning in.

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If you have liked this podcast, please do share, please do review

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it and follow me on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/theartoflifecenter/

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I will see you around.

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Have a lovely day.