Chosen Kin is back, and your favorite hosts are getting into all the things, including giving all the tea on the first Chosen Kin in-person Mixer happening during Atlanta Black Pride weekend on September 4! Bia and Harry also dive into the reactions to A Different World revival on Netflix and The Polygamist, and they tackle a listener question about why queer folks stay best friends with their exes. They get into situationship math, spinning the block, and boundaries as regards partners and their exes. Remember to like, comment, and share, plus get tickets to The Link Up now.

Stay updated with Chosen Kin on our Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chosenkinpod/

Get tickets to The Link Up here: https://posh.vip/e/chosen-kin-podcast-presents-the-link-up

Follow Bia: https://www.instagram.com/biaschae/

Follow Harry: https://www.instagram.com/harryitie/

Hi, I am harry.

Hi, I'm bia.

And we are chosen king.

Yeah.

I like how.

I feel like everybody expects you to make that sound.

Every time the show opens, it's like, we are going to do the Ria is going to do the sound.

You know, I'm here for good sound.

Because we're not paying for.

For sounds, y'.

All.

Everything is made in house.

Everything is me recording it on the audio note and sending it to Harry Danglood.

Yes.

Yes.

Welcome back, y'.

All.

Yeah.

Another week on this earth.

This floating rock.

How are you feeling, Harry?

How's life?

I am feeling good.

I know it's been a minute since, you know, we.

We checked in with our chosen can, but I think everything is good.

For the most part, I am, for lack of a better wor.

I'm stretched across the ether.

But I'm still feeling happy regardless, you know, I'm just happy.

I think the turning point for me was on.

On Wednesday, my paycheck hit my bank account, and in my mind, I was like, I have a little extra.

I have a little extra.

I know.

I know that I could do one of one or two things with this money, okay?

And that's real.

$30.

3, 030.

When I was 3 0.

And I was just like, well, I guess it's me and Jesus till the next page.

But the crazy thing is, like, you had $30, and that's like, let's look at glass half full.

You could have had $5.

$30.

Oh, my God.

I like, damn.

This is crazy.

This is.

We're living in crazy times.

No, for real.

Like, if I. I think I was talking to my close friends the other day, and I was like, I can't.

I don't want to spend no more money.

Like, I can't.

Like, I. I had one of those moments.

But, like, you don't look like what you've been through.

You look really cute.

I love this.

I love this top.

Thank you.

I'm loving it.

It's giving pin pinstripes.

It is chest, you know, it is giving stripe.

I feel like I wear black all the time on the show.

I think that's just my favorite color to wear.

So this is not the same shirt, believe it or not, y'.

All.

It's a different shirt.

Same color.

Different shirt.

Same color, same little vibe.

I'm in Detroit, so this is not my background.

Who shout out to Detroit.

That picture, I do not know that person, but it's my sibs person of some kind.

So I'm Sitting in their office.

I'm recording, I'm visiting my nephew and I'm childless.

For the record, if anyone cares, I am childless, if you haven't already known.

But this has reaffirmed that for me.

He's so smart, he's so intelligent, but he reads me for filth.

Like, literally, like there's been multiple times I've been here for maybe a few days and he.

There's times where we're like all chatting and like, yeah, what's going on?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And he's like, quiet, let's be quiet, y'.

All.

Like, let's.

He loves his characters.

Like, he plays out his characters in conversation.

And I'd be like, wait, did you say that?

He was like.

He'd be like, keep up my character.

The wizard said that.

Actually, babes stay with me.

And I just be like, okay.

Like, he keeps me on his toes.

Like we be beefing so bad.

So, so, so bad.

But that's a Scorpio Libra vibe.

But I love Detroit.

Detroit's one of my favorite cities and it's really what I needed this week.

So I've been eating, I've been.

Well, not as much, but I've been eating, I've been eating some food, you know, little dispo adventures.

The weather is beautiful out here.

I.

If I.

If it didn't snow the other half, I would move to Detroit.

You leave Atlanta for Detroit, I would.

I love Detroit, but the way that it snows here.

No, I'm good on it.

But the food is incredible, the vibes are incredible, you know, very black power, you know, I love that too.

I went to a coffee shop that was an old church like two days ago called Congregation, like shout out to them.

Cute little spot, cute coffee it was.

And then they had an edible garden that people could pick from.

We like took different sage and stuff for the meal that it's the same day.

It was really, it was.

It's very wholesome here.

And I loved it.

And then we went to Little lake.

Across the lake was Canada.

I was like, wow.

I could drive literally through the tunnel.

They're like, to Canada.

No, I forgot my passport again.

But I come to Detroit all the time at this point that it's like, I might as well, you know.

So that's kind of how I'm doing.

Hate to go back to Atlanta, cuz here it's like 75 today and it's so beautiful.

It's like I could cry how beautiful it is.

It makes life worth living.

It Does.

I don't want to leave Atlanta, but I could for Detroit if.

If the snow, like, it's like mosquitoes, heat, dykes on the loose, snow, like, it's like, fuck, I wish.

I like.

I like Detroit, though.

Did you go to the.

They have like a nice African American museum that be doing those cool videos on Instagram.

I know what you're talking about, but I haven't been.

I've been to Motown Museum, which I love, and they're expanding and I've been to the Di Dia.

I like the Dia.

They had a beautiful exhibit about black hair when I was there, but I haven't.

I.

When I come here, it's just like what my siblings want me to do.

Low key.

And I'm all for it.

Like, I'd rather just hit up the dispos.

Eat some really good food.

Like I just had some jets pizza some.

And that was everything.

I.

If I had another slice, I would.

The show would not be happening.

I would be sleep.

And I almost went into a deep slumber because I. I cut off work for the day.

I have half days.

I have half days.

For the record.

Slumber.

Yes.

Cause I need it.

You know when we went to.

Cause the only time I visited Detroit was when we went for Afro Nation.

We in 2024.

But I really want to go back because I didn't get to see the city.

All we did was go to the Airbnb and then go to the Afro Nation and then come back.

We didn't go to any restaurants.

We didn't go and we didn't do anything.

So who was we?

I think me and Desiree definitely.

Me and our friend Desiree definitely went to get food, I think.

But you get food.

We did.

When we went to get matcha one, you were busy.

You were busy.

I wasn't busy.

Yes.

We got in on Friday night.

Why?

I think he was busy.

We got enough, right?

I remember clearly.

We got enough Friday night.

We got.

On Friday night.

I tried to go to one of the Afro Nation parties on Friday night.

Y' all were like, you're not going out.

It's a wrap, you're tired.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yes.

So that happened Saturday morning.

We went to get matcha and then it rained.

Remember I was with you?

Yes.

Me and you went to get coffee.

You got.

You made me buy matcha.

I wasn't really a matcha girly, but you made me get matcha.

And I was like, I don't think I like matcha Trendsetter.

And then you were like, oh, it's an acquired taste.

I remember the conversation.

And then we go back to the house, and then.

I don't remember what happens between that time.

And then they kept pushing the date, the time back.

Yes, they did.

Like, I've never seen a festival push it.

Like, push a festival back, like, in real time.

Because of the rain.

You ra.

It was not because of the rain.

No, it was not.

Afro Nation was like, so, y'.

All.

No, it was like, so.

Yeah, we said we was gonna start at 12, but make it five.

We was like, damn.

I don't think it was because of the rain, because the rain was not that bad.

But it was muddy out there.

It was a whole bunch of shenanigans.

It was out there.

Yeah.

Do you remember that moment that you were with somebody that you met via the Internet?

And I. I don't know what made me ask this question, because I should have known better.

I was like.

I walked up to y' all and I was like, oh, how do y' all know each other?

And then.

And the guy says, grindr.

No, it was regarded.

It was jack or jacked.

And I was like, it was jacked.

It was a grinder.

The girls would think it's, you know, what do we know?

No, no, no, no, no.

I refuse to even be friends.

Let me not go there.

That might be a little too political.

I refuse to be friends.

I.

These.

This view reflects Bia Jackson's view.

I don't really believe in interracial relationships.

Mic drop.

But that's me.

So I.

But I do force my views onto my loved ones.

So if Harry were to date someone of the white experience.

No, y'.

All.

There may not be no more chosen kin.

Oh, my God.

No shade.

Because guess what?

I would not be able to get past it.

Every week I'd be like, so you still dating that white man?

Y'?

All.

Do race play Love.

Love is love.

Love is love.

If you are being loved.

But I'm too paranoid for my friends.

I'll be like, Israel.

So what they do, they touch your hair while you sleep?

Like, you know, that's where I would be.

Like, I would.

I can't get past it.

And then I would.

I literally would.

Like Dr. Umar, like, he.

Again.

Sometimes.

Broken clock could be once couple down.

Please don't cancel me.

Clip that video from COVID This is an African people's only live stream.

This, I thought, is an African people.

I thought you were going to say black queens forever.

Snow bunnies never.

Like, I thought that's also an iconic, like.

Okay.

Doesn't he have, like a white baby mama or something?

I'm just like Dr. Light Skin probably.

No, I don't think he has any kids or.

No, he.

I think he has kids.

I'm lying.

That man definitely got some children.

Kids into something.

I know.

I know of a truth.

I know of a truth.

He keeps it private.

Yeah, he keeps it private.

But he has claimed an estranged daughter.

That's 22.

Yeah.

Yes.

Okay.

You know, keeps.

I guess you got to keep some things private.

Who.

Chill.

Chile.

Chile, Chile.

But since you've been good, when do you go back to Atlanta?

Sunday.

This upcoming Sunday.

Okay.

Early in the morning, and that's totally fine with me.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm thinking about Atlanta.

I'm excited about Atlanta for many reasons.

Yeah.

And one of the reasons is because we announced that we're having our first in person event.

Y', all, let me tell you something.

Harry.

This actually was a brain child of Harry's.

And I also was like, yeah, it's a great idea.

Like, we should do it because we're gonna be there anyway.

But, you know, Harry loves Atlanta.

If we have not said that on this podcast, Harry should be an ambassador for Atlanta.

Like, Harry should damn near be from Atlanta.

Because the way Harry loves Atlanta, I don't.

And I don't play.

I plan to see Harry for this event and nothing else the rest of the weekend.

So if y' all want see us together, if you want to meet us at the same time, come to the Link Up.

The Link.

Yes, the Link up.

The Link up.

The Link up.

We're gonna go back to Link up for a second, but I want to say that you might see me.

I'm thinking about coming to Kehlani again.

I just, you know, I just need to figure out who I'm gonna go with.

Okay, well, I.

Who knows if I want to be there?

It's really based off of, like, I hope that I can get that ticket that the homie was like, got an extra one.

But if I can't, no skin off my back.

Truth is, I'm tired.

I've seen enough.

I just saw Masego at the Roxy.

The Roxy can.

Doesn't never have to see me ever again.

It's a venue in Marietta in the Battery.

The stupidest venue I've ever seen in my life.

Like, it literally doesn't make any sense.

They had to.

They had the nerve to have a Braves baseball game at the same time, and it's across the street.

They block off.

We couldn't walk only but one direction.

Then there's two pickup locations for the Ubers and Lyfts that are on the same side.

Not even on both.

It just was a mess.

I refuse to go back to the Roxy.

I love the Eastern.

The Eastern is where I would love to be for every single show.

The Roxy, Never.

This is a total aside, but I would go to Lakewood Amphitheater to see Kehlani.

Do I need to.

So can I have the extra ticket then?

Because if I can get.

No, if I can get the extra ticket, I want the extra ticket.

Look, I want to go.

I do want to go.

But if something happens that makes it so that I cannot go, I would not be mad, but I would love to go.

I don't know why gays have emergencies all the time.

I don't know.

Screaming.

I am screaming.

Okay, cool.

We'll see.

We'll see how that goes.

But yes, shall see the link up.

Our first in person mixer is happening September 4th from 5 to 9pm at the waiting room.

Dia, how you feeling about it?

I'm feeling so great about it.

Harry's going to hate me for saying this.

This almost tore our podcast family apart because we've been working, y'.

All in this event.

We have been slaving for drinks, great food, great vibes and gays to me, we have.

So come, come to the Link up.

Find your chosen K to 9 at the waiting room.

It's going to be DJed by the amazing whip appeal and DJ ego.

Amazing DJs who tear up the city.

You.

There are going to be opportunities to see them throughout the weekend, but why wait when you could see them at the Link Up.

It's going to be great.

There's so many drink specials.

We're going to have a couple of like really low like energy games.

Like it's not going to be, you know, someone like they want to do a game at an event and you're like, I I didn't sign up for a scaveng hunt.

Like, I didn't.

I actually signed up for a bevy and a little quick nice chat hang low effort game.

We have the low effort games with high effort prizes, babes.

You don't want to miss out on the prizes.

We're doing giveaways for some pride parties and we're doing giveaways for a house in the park festival that also happens that weekend as well.

So we're doing hella giveaways of real prizes.

Not candy, not little stickers.

They're real prizes.

So we're doing that because again, if you meet somebody at, you know, the link up and you're like, oh, you're cute, you're cool, let's go to this together.

Match made in heaven.

Friendship, platonic, whatever, romantic.

We have not advertised this as a, as like a meet your boo, but the hotties are going to be there.

Harry's brings a lot.

A large contingent of hotties from Minneapolis, actually.

We should honestly, low key.

No, that's, that's too far.

That's not a cattle call.

But I was like, let's show them.

Like, look at these abs.

Look at that ass.

Like, no, but I guarantee there's gonna be some cuties there.

We are the main cuties, but we're doing this event in collaboration with Femme Vital, which is a, I would say like a party social club collective that I run with my close and dear friend Willa.

And Harry's organization as well will be co sponsoring the event.

And Black LGBTQ Migrant Project will be one of the beneficiaries of the event because, you know, chosen kin, like, we have to also recognize black people across the diaspora that are queer and trans, so why not?

That's like, it tied so well into the, like, just the branding of our show that we were like, yeah, come on, blmp, let's see, let's have a good time.

So.

Yes, yes.

Yeah.

And you know, yeah, come find your chosen king.

Come meet your people.

It's like I, I think what I really love about it is going to be the perfect way to start Black Pride weekend, right?

Yes.

You come into the city or you, whether you live in Atlanta or you're coming from out of town, you come in, you're.

You meet your people, you're chilling, you're doing the things and then all of a sudden, you know, you come to this nice, like you said, nice chill event.

Great music playing with some great DJs, great vibes, great cocktails.

You meet a little person, they could be your boo, they could be your friend, it could be your bestie, it could be anything that you want them to be for the night, for the week.

So yeah, just come, come find your chosen kid with us.

And you know, we are going to be leaving out, you know, the intentions of what we're trying to do here in person at our mixer.

So come through.

Yes.

And you can find tickets at the link in our at Chosenkin podcast bio.

And we intentionally kept tickets low priced because we can't.

First of all, I know Black Friday gonna try to break your bank because we before we hopped on here, section culture is so real in Atlanta.

We are anti section culture.

So there's no sections.

It's free flowing.

But guess what?

There's a lot of seats.

There are a lot of seats.

It's a very cute vibe, A very plush environment with great music, great drinks.

There will be food that will be served and it's.

The waiting room is right above a very delicious restauran that I dream about in my sleep all the time called Bonton.

So Bonton will be serving food downstairs, but the waiting room will be a nice vibe for everyone to, you know, ease on into Black Pride with.

You don't gotta break the bank.

The drinks are affordable.

We're gonna have shot specials, the whole nine yards.

So yeah, we're not trying to bust Yalls pockets for a four hour event.

That's not our intention at all.

Not our intention.

And it's a perfect pre game, the perfect pregame.

Before you go into your Black Pride activities, what are you gonna be with the, with the all queers?

Are you gonna be at the circuit parties or you're gonna be at, you know, just at Saver Bulldogs or, you know, wherever it is you're gonna be.

You can come and start your journey with us.

Yes.

Find your Twitter kin and take them wherever you were gonna take them too, you know.

No, literally, I consensually.

Yes, absolutely.

Yeah.

I.

Yes.

I love the little.

I had like lemon drop shots from wedding room with a couple of my, like my homegirls and one night we went out to actually an event that was at the waiting room.

So good, so affordable and I got there, if you know what I mean.

Like the shots took me to where I needed to go.

Yeah.

So I think it's gonna be a great time and we're so excited to meet y' all in person and to hang out with y' all and vibe with y' all and really just have a grand old time.

And it's a black center space, so do with that information what you will.

And, and queer and trans and it's not just, you know, me and Harry are a varying, you know, gender identity.

So we built a space for people who look like us.

So it's not going to be Atlanta Black Pride and a lot of prides can be very much male, female.

That's not how we're doing it.

So really, come as you are.

Bring your homies.

Everyone's invited.

Link up.

That's the point of it.

Link up.

It's time to link up.

Yeah, I Love that Tinashe song.

Yeah, we gotta use that.

We gotta use it.

Tinashe is also a chosen kid.

I mean.

Well, let's not talk about that right now.

Yeah,.

So whereas we're still in the Zeitgeist and A Different, different world, iconic TV show from the late 80s, early 90s, is making a comeback.

There's been a revival.

I don't want to call it a reboot.

I think I'll call it a revival, per se.

I don't know why.

Why are you calling it a revival?

I feel like a reboot is like, it's gonna be a different Wayne, a different Whitley, like a different.

You know what I'm saying?

And that's not what we want.

We don't want that.

You know?

We don't.

So it feels like a continuum.

Is like Degrassi the Next Chapter or Digressi the New class.

Or is it really called A Different World Revival?

It's just called A Different World.

But they didn't call it anything else.

I'm just.

I just.

I just put a revive.

I just think it's a revival.

I don't know.

Yes.

You can call it, like, anything.

But have you seen the trailer be.

And what you think about the trailer?

I've seen the trailer, and, you know, I'm a die Hard, A Different World fan.

I don't know.

See, some of y' all might be.

Let's hope that we in the age bracket that we're in, that is watching it.

But I remember having a couple, you know, a couple of summers inside.

You know, my mama was at work.

I was a latchkey kid.

Turn on Oxygen outside of Bad Girls Club.

You know, we used to be on reruns on Oxygen.

A Different World.

So I am, back then, a little dvr.

Well, DVR was the thing.

You could record a little episode and then play them out, but you had to delete some to record some more.

I. Yeah, I am a big A Different World fan and have always been before it was streaming.

And I am excited for this.

The trailer.

I. I think.

I don't.

I'm not, like, against the revival as a concept, but I'm intrigued how the plot and how the character is going to be woven through.

It looks like Whitley and Dwayne's child are like.

Is gonna end up falling in love with Ron's child too.

Hilarious, actually, if, you know, the.

The setup of, like, them as a show because, like, Ron is just gonna have a field day with that.

Just hands down.

So I love that they're like, in the series, they're not.

Like, it's not heavily on them, but they are in it.

I love that Debbie Allen is in it.

Like.

Like, reprising her character is a reprise.

Yeah.

Yes.

Whatever.

Her character of, like, the therapist.

And I'm getting, like, the child of Whitley and Dwayne.

I'm like, huh.

I'm unsure about, but I think we'll see.

I'm just hoping it's not giving, like.

What's that show, J.

White people.

Yes, but I was thinking of running.

Yes, but.

Okay.

Yeah, but I do the same thing.

I do the same thing, too.

Let's see that show that.

Were they, like, playing football?

All American Homecoming.

Yes, yes, yes.

That's exactly what I'm thinking.

I don't know if I want it to be All American Homecoming.

Like, I. I fear that the actors of this generation are very much like, I'm acting.

Look at me, like.

And I need a bit more reeled back.

Relax.

Acting.

And it can be a little gimmicky.

So I'm.

That's why I'm not.

I'm not hoping for something gimmicky because, yuck.

I'm not.

I don't like a gimmicky type of show where, like, we're playing on the fact, like, on the nostalgia.

Yeah, but the trailer, it was pretty good.

I did like the trailer.

I did see some of the feedback that was really weird to me about how they'd be, like, how they gonna be the mama and papa, Whitley and Dwayne.

But they look old.

Yes.

They have a child that's college age.

They are supposed to look old.

Like, what's.

Y' all are so used to people not looking their age.

Yes.

Yeah.

And it shows, like, that people are supposed to look their age when they act.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that my thing would be Whitley and Dwayne, probably they got married in, like, maybe, like, 90.

They did, yeah.

Like, it actually fits that they would have a kid Now.

I would say Malia Joy Moon, who plays her daughter, won the Tony for Hell's Kitchen.

She played Alicia Keys in Hell's Kitchen.

So you're not helping my argument.

You're not.

She won.

She won the Tony.

She was good in Hell's Kitchen.

Absolutely.

No, absolutely.

I saw her in Hell's Kitchen.

I thought she was pretty good.

But stage acting, you gotta bring a different level of yes.

So that's why I'm like, yeah, I hear it, but I love that.

I. I did not know that, actually.

Yeah.

I did not.

I'm Excited.

I like it.

The girls didn't like the theme song.

That Brandy did because it sounds a. Blackness is, like, incorporated into it, right?

No, no.

Well, she did.

I know my parents.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm like, I don't think people didn't really like her version, but I know they use her optimistic in the trailer.

Like, her optimistic in the trailer as well.

Okay, okay.

And they have an in it.

In the.

And they do have it in it.

They have it in it.

I thought that was pretty cute.

Like, you know.

Yeah.

I feel like I'm excited because it's like.

I do.

And maybe it's just me, but I do enjoy seeing all types of black folks in the.

In a show like this.

Yeah.

So you have.

There's a queer character.

There's a in it character.

You know, I mix.

I like it.

I would watch it.

But there are some about it.

I want to read something for that I saw for you as someone said.

So this person dropped the comment I'm gonna.

I'm gonna say their name on so that, you know, say.

No, I'm joking.

They dropped the comment on it on.

On YouTube.

They said the original A Different World didn't just reflect black culture.

It helped elevate it.

It made education, growth, excellence, community, and ambition feel exciting.

This trailer feels more focused on reflecting current culture than pushing it forward.

That's the part I'm missing.

Do you agree with this person's sentiment on the show?

Have they watched A Different World?

You know, it don't seem like it, because I. I hear that, but you're talking about the same show that brought Tupac on.

You're talking about the very same show.

Yes.

And you're also taking, like, a page out of Bill Cosby's book.

Respectability.

Like it elevating black culture.

It just showcased the black culture that was already present there.

Yes.

Yeah.

And that's really anti black.

That's a very anti black statement to say to be like.

It elevated culture.

Now it's playing on the times of today.

Well, yeah.

To be culturally resonant.

But even the different world reflected the culture of that time.

And that's what they said.

I remember.

Because there wasn't.

There was.

There was an episode around, like the LA riots or something like that.

It was.

Yes.

You know what I'm saying?

So it's like for you to say that the show didn't do that at the time then, which was the critique the first season had, why they brought Debbie Allen on in the first place.

In my head, I'm like, you know, you're just saying anything right now.

Just for a second, you're just saying anything.

And I don't know if you've watched it.

Like, I've watched every single episode, including the first season.

People love to skip the first season because of Denise.

They say it was boring, snoozer.

But I've watched every episode.

You can imagine every single one.

And it's just very.

They had very complex characters.

There were so many different story lines, from, like, domestic violence to, you know, HIV and aids.

Actually, Tisha Campbell' character was like, a representation of that in, like, in.

In women actually contracting the virus in particular.

And, like, there's so many different pieces there.

Talks about poverty, talks about, you know, child.

Like, it literally was the quintessential sitcom that addressed every single target.

Talked about the little.

The what people love to you as like, a little gif or a meme today where, like, they're writing the N word on the wall from a different world or, like, on the car from a different world.

Like, all of these.

It's.

I just feel like people need to get off their high horse and actually watch the cultural phenomenons, because that does not read to me like they've watched it.

They even talked about colorism to a very per black face.

They talked about everything, you know, despite what, you know, Cosby wanted to do.

But I'm just.

I'm not feeling that take because they just.

I feel like people just want to, like, punch down so bad on black people of.

On the margins.

And there are such thing as black people on the margins who are, like, poor, who are, you know, navigating, like, literacy crisis or who are navigating, like, environmental crises, you know, like, what, you want the Bonnet Durag debate to happen on a different world, too?

Like, do you want that to happen?

Just, like, please, please.

I'm.

I'm seeing your comment now.

Someone said, the third world meets all America, and I was like, that's exactly what Beer said.

But I think another critique I'm seeing is folks talking about how the first show was a sitcom.

Those are, you know, laugh track and all the things.

This feels more like a drama, per se.

And to me, I feel like this is maybe a controversial take.

I don't think sitcoms work the way it worked in the 90s.

I don't think it does anymore.

That's not controversial.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I agree.

I watched the upshot.

I love the upshot.

The Upshot.

It felt like the laugh track.

Didn't really add anything to it.

It felt a little flat.

Family reunion, the same thing.

It doesn't work the way it did back in the day.

Now we need a ABBA elementary style.

We need a comedy that is not trying to be a comedy, but it's a comedy type vibe.

We need Veep, you know, we need.

To show like Veep Lovey.

That's the kind of like format that works now.

And I think that a different one is leaning into that as like, okay, now the girlies are not looking for a laugh track from like a, you know, a dancer even moment or something, you know?

Exactly.

Yeah.

I'm like, I don't know what people want.

People are very complicated, it seems like.

And also, I'm not saying that I'm like a TV and film buff, but I think as someone who has been.

I'm definitely a TV girl.

Like, I have been from like just my time with a different world, living single.

All of the sitcoms, like, we definitely culturally have shifted from sitcoms to like dramedies.

Like, that's what we got like the Game and Girlfriends and like it broadening a new era of like television content for black people.

And I think people missed the feeling of a sitcom.

So where the upshots came in or House of Pain, for example, with Tyler Perry shows and like.

But at the same time, the girls wanted a drama, I. E. Shondaland and like all they wanted the.

The drama almost soap opera esque way of thinking.

Like the Oval.

And what was that other show with Tika Sumter that Tyler Perry did first?

Why you laugh?

I just remembered the show.

They had a character called Veronica called the show as she was crazy.

Yes, yes.

The have and the have nots.

Like, people wanted the dramedy aspect of it.

And I don't know if folks actually understand how that era, the dramedy drama pipeline from the sitcoms has drastically changed how we consume written TV content.

And I.

And that's like something I think people.

People don't give a.

Like, they don't care to think critically.

I just there's.

We have to look at how TV has changed and if you want a show on and also like these big companies like Netflix and who are ordering these television shows, they are looking for a certain level to like actually compete with other shows.

So if you look at comedies today or like quote unquote sitcoms today, they look how this A Different World reboot is being packaged and presented, in my opinion.

I mean, Insecure was also what you would say a dramedy in itself.

Exactly.

I mean who there was like a comedy.

I, I, I just want people to give it.

I know that people have reboots, haven't been the people's favorites or revivals are people's favorites, but I want people to give it a chance.

Just give it a chance, you know.

Exactly.

It's, it's in, in the post dei, you know, world that we're in.

It's, it's, we should be thankful that we have a show with an all black cast, you know.

So I'm, I'm, I'm excited to watch.

I'm excited to engage, you know, I see what it gives.

Yeah.

And if I hate watch and my thing is as long as the politics of the show and who's behind it, it all well and dandy.

Like I'm gonna watch it so that it's supported and could possibly get a second season even if I have to hate watch it for whatever reason.

And we should all do the same.

Like we should, you know, like we all should turn out to see all the, whatever Black Panther 55 when it comes out.

Like we should all we need to turn out to the stuff because people love to complain.

We don't have no stories.

We don't have no stories.

Where are the black stories that are not just, you know, know like slave memoirs and the In Addiction Chronicles?

Yeah.

Then show up.

Watch it.

You hate watching if you have to.

I can't believe, I can't believe you said Black Panther 55.

Because I'm just saying just to throw it out there.

Like, if there is a Black Panther 55, if there's a Sinners 33, like, go see it.

Support, support the content.

Because how you think it's going to be made?

Like that's the thing with people.

I'm like, you so picky.

But you gonna watch House and Grey's Anatomy on rerun and then wonder why they keep making different medical shows.

Why you think, dummy?

Like, I just.

Sorry.

That was not okay.

Not, not Chosen Kin, other people, not the children.

Y' all know that people.

Y' all know that.

I'm not talking to you.

Yeah.

Speaking of things that I want people to watch before we go into our convo for today, there is a movie that I want everybody to go see.

It's called Dreams and Nightmares.

Meek Mill, the dreams.

Dreams in dream.

In, in Nightmares.

Okay.

Is in the nightmare.

Is in the nightmare.

Yes.

Got you.

So Dreams at Nightmare has Danae Benton from the Gilded Age.

It's supposed to be a queer type show and, you know, it's independent, so I want people to check it out.

It has.

It has lots of great reviews.

I want to see if it's out now because I wanted to watch it.

Trying to get to the gilded age.

I had to take an emotional break.

There's some, like, dream and nightmares.

Dreams and nightmares.

Yes.

Dreams and nightmares.

Yes.

It follows three queer friends on a road trip.

It's black, it's queer, it's femme and the little mask.

I'm trying to find.

I'm trying to see the show.

The show times or I'll be watching it online.

I don't even know at this point.

Huh.

Where is it going to be?

It's going to be released in theaters August 21st.

August 21st?

Yes.

Limited.

Limited.

August 21st.

So as we're this weekend and then in September, there's going to be a wider release.

So look out for is sets in your local movie.

Let's support Black Chris Cinema.

Yes.

And just like we said.

Yeah, literally just like we said, if you don't show up, how do you think it's gonna get made again?

Or something like it, you know?

Yeah.

So, okay, I think I might go see that.

That sounds really nice.

I need something like, queer to see because I.

If.

If there's no black queer storyline.

Well, queer sometimes, but if there's no black storyline, it's really hard for.

To catch my attention because I'm tired of the white storylines.

I am.

Like, we get it.

Like, they can live so many different lives.

I.

Black people should also live different lives on the screen.

So I was just like, like, help, please.

Yeah, yeah.

We need more.

We need to tell them our black stories.

For sure.

No, for real.

And on the other side of you talked about something that's really great.

I'm gonna talk about trash real quick.

I finished the Polygamous and I love the Polygamous.

I did a whole video.

Riveting show.

Riveting show.

Dramatic.

Yes.

Crazy.

Yes.

Like, almost unbelievable.

There's some story holes, some story gaps for sure.

But what I do.

What I.

What I said, gaps.

The flashbacks.

I have a lot of questions with old dude.

And like, okay, so you knew old girl for this long and you've been plotting on her for this long or like, oh, you was with this person.

Oh, how did this happen?

Like, I have questions.

I don't need to watch it again.

That's what I don't need.

Because it.

It was almost, you know, you looked at your blanket like, during, like a horror movie.

You're like, that was me sometimes with Jonas Gamora.

Like, I would be like, man, first of all, you're not cute, so why are these women tripping over you?

Second off, like, you're gross.

That he brings the essence and the audacity.

That man had some audacity, for real.

I was just like, yeah.

So I just watched it for the fun of it, for the fun of the game.

But did you watch it?

You did watch in English?

I watched it in English, but again, really rough for me because I hate dubbed content.

I hate when someone's, like, talking and they're like, hi.

I hate that.

Like, because I need it to match up.

I really do.

So I did not watch Nizulu, but I did watch in English and I had to ignore their mouths and just listen half the time just to get through.

But the writing was good enough for me to get writing the.

The storyline.

Let me not say the writing.

The storyline was good enough writing.

That's a little too generous of me.

But polygamous, that was my jam.

The girls are comparing it to the Tyler Perry movie, though.

They should, because it definitely lines up because Tyler Perry also gave somebody HIV and a.

Yes.

I was like, that was interesting.

Like, why did he have to have HIV as punishment?

You know?

And that was.

Yeah, that's de.

It was definitely seraphobic, for sure.

But even with that, I was just like, I think that's my question.

It's like a narcissist like Jonas Gamora would never just give up on life.

He would take those pills to live another day, you know?

Like, that just doesn't make sense to me knowing, like, the character.

But again, the oohs and Oz for.

For the shock value of it, you.

Know, So I guess, yeah, that is true, though.

He will take the pills because he will do anything in your life, you know, and it's not like he's.

It's not like he's having HIV in 1990.

He's having it in 2026.

Where.

Literally where, you know, it's not like a cocktail of pills anymore.

Literally.

And so, yeah, it was very young.

Girlfriend, she was taking her.

She said, take your pills.

Popped one and said, bye.

Like, and also just.

Just even thinking about how.

How long did the girl.

Girl have HIV for?

You know, how long did the person that, you know passed on the HIV to Said John Askamora?

You know, it just.

I. I just don't like when they use HIV as a. I hate it.

I hate it.

I hate it.

It's very.

It's gross.

HIV is all punishment for.

For being sexually active or for whatever it is.

HIV is not punishment.

So it's not punishment.

Yeah.

And it shouldn't be, like, like, criminalized in this way and stigmatized still to this day.

And it's just like, okay, huh?

Yes.

And they do this on herpes, too, on the show.

Yeah.

And that contributes to the.

To the.

To the stigma.

It was gonna read that.

Oh, it was gonorrhea, wasn't herpes, which is so interesting.

Like, the way they just threw the STIs around.

Like, it's just.

You get one, you get one, you get one.

The doctors are just saying, whatever.

It's a good show, though.

I love the idea.

It is a good show.

I enjoyed it.

Yeah.

United the black diaspora, you know, watched it, but I think that I was just like, you know, y'.

All.

That was unnecessary.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Hey, so y' all have a bunch of things to check out.

There is dreams and nightmares.

There is the polygamist on Netflix.

A Different world revival is coming to Netflix as well.

And, you know, come see us live at the link up.

Come see us in person at the link up.

Okay, cool.

So on.

On Instagram, we asked.

We asked.

We have a post on Instagram.

Maybe we should pin that post.

Maybe.

Maybe we should pin that post.

Yeah, we have.

We have.

Where we ask people what.

What do they want to hear us talk about on the podcast?

And someone.

One of our listeners o ro4 on Instagram, asked us to talk about why our people, meaning queer folks, are always best friends with their ex.

So I have a bunch of.

I have a bunch of questions to ask, but my first initial thought is, do you agree with that statement that a bunch of queer folks are still best friends with their exes?

Yes.

Ish.

I think.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Definitively yes.

I would say for.

Do you think it's a femme thing?

Is it.

Do you think it's a thing?

That's.

No, I don't think it's a femme thing.

I don't.

But, like, of course my.

I don't think it's, like, a lesbian thing, but I also don't think it's, like, a gay thing.

I think it really depends on the person and, like, the community they're in.

Because some people be like, yeah, that's my bestie.

Like, we used to bump purses.

But, like, we don't do that anymore.

Like, what do you mean we don't?

And it's like, y' all did that at one point in time.

How is it so gross?

Now, like.

Or I feel like straight people do this too.

They'll be like, that's my brother, that's my sister.

Y' all used to like.

But it's a different thing if y' all were friends of benefits.

Y' all used to.

But if you were in a committed relationship, that.

That means that when you break up, they are your ex.

You know, if I was sleeping with somebody, some.

Some person, you know, for X amount of months, I mean, we're not official that I won't call them my ex.

That's just someone nice to sleep with.

Right?

But you know, the girls be in situationships these days.

They don't even be in official relationships.

And they'd be like, like, I have exes who are not my exes.

But it's like, are they your exes.

Then if they're not your exes, if y' all were not official, like, they're your exes.

A situation should be a situationship.

No, but situationships.

But the thing is about situationships, that why we call them that is because they're so complex that it's like, it's low key a relationship, but we don't have the title.

Like, that's, that's what situationship means to me.

So, like, if I'm in a situation, I had a situationship for maybe a year and some change or a year and I, I would love to delete that nigga's name from my memory, but.

Or like from the list.

But they heavily contribute to my relationship, like, history and like, past in a way.

Like, you got some remnants on you.

I got a little battle scars from them.

You know, I feel like if you have history, experience that impacts your.

Your next dating situation, that's kind of your ex.

Like, but that's just me.

Like, you know, I can't let you.

Have that because of my.

But because in my head, if, if we.

If we never said we're official, we are together, we are a thing.

I'm never gonna.

I'm never gonna say it is.

I hear that.

You know, but let's.

But let me take you a step further.

If y' all were never in a relationship, and let's say you tripping over this person, like, you know, y' all was never in a relationship, but y' all were dating for a long, significant amount of time, y' all were maybe dating or seeing each other, but y' all weren't in an official relationship and you know, y' all end things.

It didn't go well.

You still sprung on that person Y', all, you tore up about that person.

It's embarrassing to say that you stuck on someone you wasn't even really with.

You might as well say X to make yourself low key, feel better.

To be like.

Like, I'm sprung on someone that I never actually called mine.

Like, that's crazy.

So I think that's the thing for me with situationships.

People be bugging over situationships.

And y' all weren't even together.

Like, you, you're tripping over someone that you actually did not claim and did not claim you.

That's crazy.

So you might as well just say X because that's the reality versus that.

Is the reality you're trying to.

To portray to the people.

But.

But in real life, life, that person still never claimed you.

It was no, There was never a claymation that happened.

It never happened.

So it's like, you know what I'm saying?

But I hear that.

Yeah, I do.

But it's like, I think you're the type.

You're very Taurus, where you're gonna be like, no, you didn't.

You can't say.

You can't link me to that one.

I think that's how you are.

So I get it and I understand.

But also, I don't know.

I don't know.

Friend.

But as far as, like, would I be, like, how do I feel about it?

I would not date anyone that's best friends with their ex at all.

At all.

Like, best friends.

Yes.

I think you can be acquaintances and, like, stay in each other's lives.

Just like, you know, every few months, be like, hey, what's up?

You good?

You cool?

Like, if you have that.

That feels normal and healthy to me.

But best friends, I hate.

Yeah, Boo.

I'm about to go meet up with such and such at the bar for a little chili dipper and with some drinks.

Why is that your best friend?

Let me pace a scenario for you.

So you are.

You're at the waiting room.

Here we go.

Fight at the link up.

You're at the lady, I wake up.

And then this very nice tall, you know, mask, this nice tall stud walks into the room.

Dreadlocks, you know, shake your dread.

Chocolate.

Chocolate looking.

And she's like, hey, my name is.

What name should I give her?

My name is Big Wheezy.

You see how Harry plays, y'?

All?

I was in it until Harry took me out with the name.

Because you could have said a bunch of stuff.

The name is Dre.

Right?

Okay, so Dre comes in.

She looks good for Andrea.

You know.

Yeah.

Birthday by Drea Government, Andrea, Michelle, but goes by Dre.

Does be with the most feminine names of life.

You be like, I almost said my ex's name by Exodus, but, like, giving an example.

But the.

The studs, it'd be like Michelle or be like Rachel or something like, uber feminine, like Veronica.

It's like, okay, I love it.

Elizabeth.

Like, why is your name Elizabeth, girl?

So.

But yeah, so Dre comes in.

Y' all have great chemistry.

Y' all talk.

You know, vibes are great.

You know, y' all dance together.

You know, you slow dance to, like, Kehlani hate the club.

And then y' all go for a walk.

You go for a walk down Pond City Market, you know, and then y' all end up at.

I'm just calling random places in Atlanta now.

You'll end up maybe at msr.

Okay.

Okay.

It's a nice vibe.

It's cool.

It's chill.

And then, like, it's like, you know.

You know, it's like the quintessential first day from.

That'd be a whole day.

Yeah.

From a movie.

Yeah.

And then you're like, oh, do you want to come Come home with me?

And you're like, sure.

And then.

Okay, then you'll go home together.

But y' all don't.

You all don't have sex.

Y' all just cuddle all night.

What am I going home for?

No joking.

No, I'm joking.

I don't be have.

I don't be doing the dude on the night.

Yeah.

I think it's wrong with that.

I'd be doing to do it the first night.

You know, sometimes.

You know, sometimes you got to do the.

Do you, girl.

You know?

So that happens.

Y' all do your thing.

It's really nice, and then it's a great time.

I want to see you again.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And you'll have these moments throughout the weekend, and then on Monday, they're like, oh, gotta go.

My.

My best friend and I have a business together.

Who's your best friend?

My best friend is Tyrone.

Who's Tyrone?

That's.

That's just, you know, one of your.

One of your guys from back then.

Yeah.

Before I became Dre.

Before I, you know, leaned into my truth.

I got married to my high school sweetheart at the time, who was a man.

But now we're best friends.

We've gone through our divorce where we're best friends now, and we run a business together.

We'll just still date Dre,.

So.

Okay.

I am queer of a Different cloth.

So you know, these, these lesbians because.

And I can say it's not just Atlanta, but it's like lesbians, generally, they be like, are you gay for real?

They're like, have you been with a man?

Have you done it?

Or have you only been?

I don't care about that.

So for me, I think if this is your new reality and you are, you're gay, you're not sure, you're not straight, you don't even look men's way.

I would feel differently because it's your ex husband and y' all run a business together.

I would feel differently about that.

They're best friends.

They're best friends.

I would feel differently about that.

I would.

Because it's like y' all shouldn't even be looking at each other like that no more.

You know?

But, but, but she's not even hetero anymore.

That's exactly.

That's.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, I would be fine with that.

Because you're not.

You're not hetero no more.

Okay, if she had a wife, an ex wife.

So that's my point.

Yeah, that's my point.

That's my point.

You said you can never be.

You can never date someone who's best friend with your ex.

But I give you a scenario of a person.

You, you twisted it a little bit because you're not straight no more.

So it's like if, if that's where you end up venturing back to or.

Maybe, okay, they're, they're, they're pansexual, but they're, they're a mask presenting pansexual person.

Bidding best friends with your ex husband and your one.

I think it is a no for me.

I think it is a no for me in that case, because it's so complex.

And if that's your best friend and this is your ex, I, I look at best friends as like your chosen family.

Chosen Ken.

Chosen Ken.

Like, that's just how I put platonic.

For me personally, everyone be like, my man, my man, my man, my baby, my babe.

Like, it be.

It be their, Their boo, their friends.

Yeah, I'm like this.

Like, every relationship in my life should be on equal footing.

And not everyone is like that.

So it would be an issue for me to date someone that still is super close with their ex.

And like, I think also what impacts it is like, how.

How long ago were y' all exes did y' all immediately become friends after y' all broke up?

Did you, you know, are y' all still intertwined in each other's lives in such an intimate way.

But for me, sometimes friendship looks like being intertwined in someone's life in a very, like, intimate way.

You know, like me and homegirls, we might be laying all up in the bed watching tv, hungover after the night before, you know, like, that might be a scenario.

But would I be comfortable with my person doing that with their ex turned best friend?

No.

So I'm guessing you are not friends with any of your exes.

Trying to think really hard.

No, I'm not friends with any of my exes.

Could I have been based off of, like, the state of the relationship a lot?

Large percentage?

No.

Have I been friends with them and they still wanted me in that way?

Yes, but largely people cannot, like, separate.

Like, I, a recent ex of mine, like, just, just could not.

They've never.

They were never friends with an ex, so they couldn't conceive us being friends, which, that was a little strange to me at the time, but at the same, I got it, I understood it, but I'm not totally against it.

I'm friends is different than best friends.

I'm never going to be best friends with an ex.

That's never going to happen.

Are you best friends with an ex or friends with an ex?

No, I'm not.

I am friendly with some of my exes.

Some of my exes have blocked me.

You know, I didn't want them to block me.

I wanted to be friends.

I like to be friends with my exes because I feel like if I have loved you once because we've broken up, I cannot.

Say.

I didn't say.

I didn't say I'll try to love again.

I'll just say that, like, if we have been friends at some point in time in our journey, in our life, I think that there is space for us to still be.

I feel like you're looking at me like.

But I feel like if I have loved you, we have.

We've made all these memories.

If the breakup wasn't bad, if the breakup was healthy, why are we not friendly with each other?

Yeah.

I don't see a reason why we are mean to each other.

I don't see a reason why we hate each other.

You know what I'm saying?

I absolutely.

But some of them don't agree.

Some of them blocked me, you know?

I miss you.

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

I miss you is crazy work.

I'm just Kidding.

I did.

I have texted an ex.

I missed you before.

Yeah, same.

Let me tell you something.

I.

Let me not tell my teeth too much.

I.

When I was in my past, not currently, but I've been known to spin the block, you know, I've been known to turn my ex into my next at times, but I've grown out of that.

Because those niggas still the same.

Just time has passed, and if not, they're, like, still the same.

It's like you have the same energy.

Like, y' all trigger each other in the same ways, like the same stuff was gonna come out unless y' all done significant amount of work.

And nine times out of 10, these niggas don't be doing no work.

So maybe y' all aren't just compatible and the thing that makes y' all not compatible is still there.

Exactly.

It's like, you know, it's not gonna work anyways.

But sometimes I feel like you miss the familiarity.

You miss the person who you mistrust, having that person to, you know, be by your side.

Or you're lonely and, like, you just miss somebody.

You miss a warm body next to.

You, and it gets lonely in these streets.

Or you miss how that old you.

You want that old thing back.

If you know some people, you know.

Yeah.

Do you think that this is unique to just queer folks alone, or is it, like a straight issue?

Are the straights besties with your exes?

Yes, I do think this has been a straight issue.

Like I said a little earlier, I was like, you know, I definitely was like, in high school or like, college, and they'd be like, yeah, this like my brother, just like my sister.

And it's like they used to.

On each other, but, like, for straight people, on each other is not like a casual thing at times.

Like, I feel like with queer folks, we can have hookups and it, like, if it's not in a romantic yet.

You've been watching Love Island.

Yeah, I just give to me.

No, literally.

Okay.

A kiss is like a handshake.

Like.

But honestly, it is like a handshake to some people in our queer community.

Like, no shade.

Yeah.

You know, to each his own.

Sometimes it's a handshake for me too, but.

But yeah, I. I think straight people take.

They can't really have sex without that element, in my opinion.

Versus queer folks, it depend on how great.

How great it is.

Like, I've.

I think people have gone into friends with benefit situations, queer folks, too, and been like, I could see more.

But also I feel Like, a lot of times queer folks be like, thanks for the ass.

Next week, same time, you know, versus straight people be like, there has to be something else here.

You must be the love of my life.

Yeah.

You know.

Yeah.

That is real.

I was gonna wear this on the show.

Sidebar,.

Please.

You need to keep this in the recording.

How does it look?

You definitely give, like, Uncle.

African uncle.

You do with the open shirt where you're Heineken.

Sorry, sorry.

No, you're fine.

I feel like I have adhd.

Maybe you do.

Maybe like, I'm under seals.

We were just diagnosing myself with things.

But anyways, is there a scenario.

Yeah.

Where you would be friends with your ex or wouldn't be friends with your ex?

So it's like a two in one question.

If there's a lot of harm there, we ain't gonna be friends.

We barely gonna make it out this relationship.

No shade.

It's not hard to be.

No contact or something happens.

You're like block.

But I. I would be friends with an ex.

It would just.

I think we would have to leave the relationship with a lot of dignity intact.

And it shouldn't be, like, irreparable damage, if that makes sense.

Like you.

I don't want to feel demeaned to an end and be like, I don't even want to like you as a person anymore.

But, you know, like, I think that's really.

It depends on the person.

I'm not like, yes or no, but I lean towards like, no, because it gets sticky and weird.

And like, you, you know, you become friends of an ex and y' all still having breakup conversations and rehashing the same.

Or like, I hate, hate, hate having to reiterate the same to somebody and like, that I was dating to be like, hey, we talked about how you up, and every time I see you, you be like, hey, you're not happy to see me?

And it'd be like, why would I. Yeah, why.

Why would I be happy?

You know, like, having to rehash and the person, like, doesn't actually understand the weight of their actions.

That's where friendship can't happen.

Like, I can't be friends with you if you don't actually understand how you impacted me or shown up.

Yeah, but that's a lot of.

They just want you to, like, brush that under the rug and be like, yeah, we're cool for their feelings, not for your own.

But I. I don't know.

What about you?

You seem strict.

No, not really, though.

I feel like.

I think harm is the reason why I wouldn't be friends with an ex, like, if it was, like, really bad.

But I also feel like with all my exes, I don't think our breakup has been that bad.

But, you know, maybe they have a different experience to what happened.

And, you know, I had that it happened.

But, like, I feel like if I decide to work, if I decide I want to be with you, then I feel like there is a level of commitment, there's a level of love and care I have for you that even if I want to break up, I want it to be done healthy.

I want it to be done before I see going all the way south where we hate each other and we can't stand each other at all.

And so I would say that yes, if there's harm, sure.

But I don't think it would ever get there because for us to commit, I said we're going to be together.

There's a lot of love there on both sides.

You know what I'm saying?

And so I try to keep it that way.

Yeah, you try to keep it that way.

Yeah.

Like, so, like, if I.

If I notice that I'm getting the ick or I'm like, like, things is, this is already working out.

I've seen.

Okay, I will try and end it really quickly before you die, before it.

Goes, before it gets to a place of no return.

Yeah.

And sometimes that's, like, beyond you.

Like, sometimes you can't help that.

Like, you try your best.

I've definitely been in situations where I've put my best foot forward and the don't want the best foot.

They actually don't want to.

They don't want any parts of you.

Like, they don't care how civil you're trying to be, how, like, much you're moving in your integrity through a breakup.

They're gonna be like, I don't care and just wreckage, you know, and that just those be qualifiers to be like, oh, you're not supposed to be my friend.

Because at the Bear, I believe relationships at the bare bones, like, you should see each other as like, friendship is like the baseline.

But not everyone feels that way.

So.

Yeah, you know.

You know, I totally agree.

Okay, that's good.

That's a guess Convo.

Thank you o.ro for.

Thank you for asking.

And I hope we covered the conversation well for you.

If you also want us to, you know, talk about anything and drop it in the comments in our post or send us a dm, we're at chosen Kinpod, or send us an email chosen kinpod Gmail.com.

You know, and we will read.

We'll read your email.

Kin Lessons.

It's been a very engaging conversation about engaging with exes.

What's your rule for how a partner should engage with your ex when you're dating or in a committed relationship so you and Dre decide you're gonna end up together?

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

I forgot about Dre.

I forgot about Dre.

I said Dre.

That's not my.

That's not my boo's name.

That's not your boo.

But, yeah.

Do you have any, like, guidelines or stipulations or things you're telling someone that, okay, I can't help that you're friends with your ex, but this.

This is how I want you to with your ex now that.

Now that we're gonna be together, I.

Think, like, boundaries for myself again.

I'm, like, pretty open as someone who you.

I. I think I'm, like, on the mono, non monogamous spectrum of it all, but I used to be polyamory, so I feel like I have more, like, leeway, and I don't date anybody that I don't trust.

Like, if cheating could come up, it's just gonna come up before you have a best friend that's your ex.

You know, like, that's the thing for me.

But my rules would be around, like, informed consent is such a big thing for me.

Like, give me all of the information so that I can make an informed decision of what I do and don't want to do.

Like, let's say my boo is like, oh, I'm at a bar.

Pull up.

Like, I would love for you to come.

Turns out the ex friend is there.

You should have told me, because I could have either been like, I want to come, or I don't.

You know, that type of thing.

I think that goes a long way.

Informed consent and what else?

What else?

I feel like boundaries, like, don't be.

Don't be talking about your relationship with them.

Don't be talking about our relationship with them.

Keep some boundaries in some, like, confidentiality for sure.

And at the same time, I don't want you to tell me all the things that they said about what's going on in their lives.

I really don't care, and I don't want to know.

And also, like, let's have a little minimum for, like, how long?

Like, how many hangouts you got.

Like.

Like, if you not try to control nobody, but if you see them once a week, Because y' all have a standing thing.

Cool.

But, you know, make sure you're.

If it's like your hangouts with the ex slash best friend is way higher than the other best friends that you have, what's going on there?

Like, the volume of hang out and where you're spending your time.

And that's the thing for me is more how you spend your time is a big, big deal for me personally.

What about you?

Yeah, I think.

I think the same thing.

Don't sh.

Share our information, what we're going through.

Let me know before you.

Before I'm in the space with your ex.

I feel like one of my flaws is I get jealous.

You know, like McDonald's.

You get jealous?

I get jealous.

Yeah, I get jealous.

I get a little possessive.

I'm very territorial, so I might be okay with it.

But, you know, y' all don't, Don't.

Don't hang out alone.

Make sure you have a friend with you when you're hanging out.

Okay.

Yeah.

Type thing.

Yes.

I'm working through my issues, you know,.

I mean, therapy, I. I do resonate with that.

I think public outings, like, one on one's cool, but, like, I don't know about staying, being at your house, being at their house late at night.

I don't know about that.

And again, it's like you're gonna do what you're gonna do.

And it's more about, like, the trust of that person than it is the trust of the ex slash best friend, because I'm not dating the ex best friend.

So if you're swayed by them to do things that, like, you know, you shouldn't be doing, that's a you problem.

And we gotta talk, you know?

Yeah, I'm not, like, I don't put all that pressure on the ex best friend to be accountable to whatever me and my boo decide.

Yes.

And that's what a lot of people do.

They end up being like, you know, that person should know not to know.

Your ex should know not to.

Your.

Your boo should know not to interact in that way and respect your relationship based off of the parameters.

Y' all said you can't be mad at that person.

Person be mad at your boo.

Point blank, period.

Have you had an ex come to you ever?

Like, that's my man.

Or, like, give you, like, that kind of attitude or something?

Like, in the.

Like, an ex come to me.

Yeah.

This is random day.

Right, everybody?

But, like, I actually like that is like, you know, give you, like, the stank face when you see you outside because you're dating your.

You know, you're dating someone they used to date or.

I've had people like.

But that's.

It's not.

It hasn't been warranted.

It hasn't been like, I did something, but I. I tend to have that effect, honestly, that, like, the exes new boo is out.

I wouldn't even call some of these people exes.

But, like, the new boo will be, like, all defensive and act weird babes.

I'm crossfaded.

I can't see none of these faces.

I'm in the party lit.

I'm having a great time.

I'm the bell of the ball.

So I'm talking to everybody and I.

Excuse me.

I didn't see.

I didn't see my hashtag or my.

My ex air quote X like at the.

At the dance booth for getting a drink as well at the bar.

I just got my.

My little mark and.

And kept walking.

But some people take that so seriously.

And if I'm not on that, I'm not on that.

And I know my boundaries.

But again, that's like, if your boo is.

Is acting some type of way about me in a space and that's my ex, that's a problem for your beat boo.

Don't talk to me, because who am I?

I'm not.

I'm not doing nothing but existing.

And if that gets the girls bothered, I don't know what to tell you.

But.

We don't know what to tell you.

We don't know what to tell you.

About someone to you.

Sorry.

Has someone, like, giving you the same guy?

No.

Well, they may have.

I just probably didn't notice.

I need to read.

Yeah,.

I don't really.

You know, I'm looking for my next.

Not my ex, you know.

But you know what?

We're both looking forward to the link up.

The link.

Yes.

Yeah.

So, you know, as you can see, we've plugged this link up over and over again because we really want you all to come through.

We're gonna put the link to the posh page where you can get your tickets.

We're gonna put it in the description so you can buy your tickets as well from there.

We really can't wait to see you there, y'.

All.

It's gonna be really can't.

It is gonna be a good time.

Great drinks, affordable drinks again, some scrumptious bites downstairs.

But upstairs is like.

It gives, like, gay, cute, fun vibes already.

Like, the venue alone and the DJs like, I follow.

Whip a pill Everywhere.

Like in whip, we trust in ego as well.

Love some ego.

Ego and whip appeal.

They also have their own events going on that weekend.

Check them out.

Yeah, I will definitely be at the other events that weekend.

Yeah.

But please come.

Please link up with us.

Have a nice little bevy.

Support a beautiful organization.

Blnp and what they're doing to support black people across the diaspora.

And yeah, you know, let's live this last weekend of summer, Labor Day weekend in Atlanta.

Even if you're not there for Black Pride, you can pull up if you're there in general, you know.

Yes.

If you live in Atlanta.

If and if you live in Atlanta, pull up.

Up.

If you live in Savannah, Georgia, pull up.

If you live in Conyers, pull up.

If you live in Athens, Georgia, pull up.

If you live in Charlotte, North Carolina, pull up.

Pull up.

If you are which close Durham.

I have a couple homies coming in from Durham, North Carolina, pull up.

Because Black Pride in Atlanta is nothing to miss.

Like it really isn't.

Like it's nothing like it.

If you haven't been around black, queer and trans people in mass and you want to experience that Atlanta Black Pride is the time we have a nice good little ghetto time.

Like on the.

You know, I love it.

I love it because I. I will end up at the Marquette with my people.

Nine times out of ten I wouldn't.

I probably won to this time.

But you know, you see how.

You see how Harry and I don't end up at the same places.

The only place we will be together.

If you want to see me and Harry in the same event, the link up, find your chosen kid.

That's the event.

Because Harry got dates.

Harry got dates.

I should have ready dates this weekend.

You're gonna set them up though.

I'm gonna do.

I'm decentering dating apps and all the things.

I'm gonna come, I'm gonna be with my friends.

I'm gonna be present.

I'm gonna do this.

So you're gonna meet people in person.

I'm gonna go.

My friend is having an Afrobeats party that I'm going to be at that on Saturday.

I might go to that.

Yeah.

Be the only femme there.

He wants more fams there.

I will share that too.

On my.

If you follow me, I will repost that as well.

But yes.

Okay.

But most importantly, come to the link up.

It's going to be a good time.

We're going to be there.

Is there anything else you want to share before we leave?

Bm if you find the link up info on our page.

You can also follow us on our page at Chosen Kin Pod.

And also our personal Instagrams are going to be in the mix over there.

If you would like to follow us individually.

No, I.

We.

This was a great chat.

It brought up.

I'm a smidge triggered.

But, you know, it was a great conversation.

I'm excited for all the things we have coming up, like the link up and the different world reboot or revival.

Yeah.

But overall, like, great podcast episodes.

Yeah.

Excited that we got to talk to y'.

All.

Please talk to us in the comments, like, comment, subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen and we will see you all very, very soon.

We will see you soon.

Thank you so much.

And yeah, bye.