Divorce may end a marriage, but it doesn't erase decades of shared experiences, family connections, or emotional history. For women navigating gray divorce, the death of a former spouse can bring an unexpected wave of grief, guilt, sadness, and complicated emotions, even when the marriage ended years earlier. Losing someone who was once such a significant part of your life can be difficult to explain, particularly when others assume that divorce means those emotional connections have disappeared.
In this episode of The D Shift: Redefining Divorce and Beyond, Strategic Divorce Consultant Mardi Winder welcomes Carol McGehe, founder of the Living Forward Ministry for Widows and author of Becoming a Widow's Advocate, to discuss the importance of connection, understanding, and ongoing support after the loss of a spouse. Drawing on Mardi's personal experiences with both divorce and widowhood, they explore how grief can affect women at different stages of life and why the death of a former spouse can reopen emotions that may have seemed resolved.
Carol shares how her desire to help widowed friends grew into a supportive community offering practical assistance, meaningful friendships, and opportunities for women to rediscover purpose after loss. Their conversation highlights the challenges of navigating grief, the importance of asking for and accepting help, and why support should continue long after the initial period of sympathy has passed. Whether you are grieving the loss of a spouse, experiencing complicated emotions following the death of an ex-partner, or supporting someone through either experience, this discussion offers valuable perspectives on finding connection and moving forward.
Questions Answered in This Episode
1. Why can the death of an ex-spouse bring unexpected grief after gray divorce?
Even when a marriage has ended, the emotional connections and shared history of a long-term relationship do not simply disappear. The death of a former spouse can bring back memories, unresolved feelings, guilt, or sadness, particularly when the couple spent decades together or remained on friendly terms. Mardi discusses how women may experience these emotions even years after their divorce and why acknowledging that grief is an important part of understanding the experience.
2. Why is ongoing support so important after losing a spouse?
Friends and family often provide considerable support immediately following a death, but that attention may diminish while the grieving person is still dealing with significant emotional and practical challenges. Carol explains how ongoing community connections can provide companionship, understanding, and assistance with everyday responsibilities. Having people who continue to check in, offer help, and provide a safe place to talk can make a meaningful difference in navigating life after loss.
3. What is a widow's advocate, and how can someone provide meaningful support?
A widow's advocate is someone who comes alongside a grieving person to offer compassion, practical assistance, encouragement, and understanding. Carol explains that advocates do not need to have experienced widowhood themselves. They may be friends, neighbors, family members, or community volunteers who help with transportation, household tasks, financial questions, or simply provide companionship. Learning what to say, what to avoid saying, and how to offer support without making assumptions is an important part of helping someone through grief.
4. How can women rebuild their sense of identity and purpose after losing a spouse?
Losing a spouse can change daily routines, relationships, responsibilities, and a person's understanding of their future. Carol discusses how the women in her Living Forward community support one another in discovering new interests, recognizing their strengths, and finding meaningful ways to engage with life. Rather than focusing exclusively on loss, the group encourages women to explore what comes next while recognizing that grief and personal growth can exist together.
About the Guest:
CAROL McGEHE lives with her husband Larry in Daytona Beach, FL. Carol is the founder of The Vine Church’s Living Forward Ministry for Widows and author of "Becoming a Widows' Advocate." She enthusiastically helps others begin widows’ ministries in their local communities and will be launching her own podcast "Serving Widows NOW" this fall. She and Larry are co-authors of the award-winning Christian historical novel, "In Search of My Heart," the first book in the "In Search" series. During her career in Mathematics Education, Carol received the Presidential Award for Excellence in the Teaching of Mathematics, which led to a meeting with President George H. W. Bush at the White House. In addition to writing and serving as a Widows’ Advocate, Carol enjoys traveling, Bible Study, tutoring mathematics students, playing pickleball, boogie boarding, and spending time with friends.
For Carol’s gift: email her at [email protected]
To connect with Carol:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/insearchseries
YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@McGeheBooks
Instagram: https://instagram.com/mcgehebooks
“Becoming A Widows’ Advocate”: Website/ordering: McGeheBooks.com/Widows_Advocate/
“In Search of My Heart”: Website/ordering: https://McGeheBooks.com Use “In Search of My Heart” with your Book Group or Bible Study: https://mcgehebooks.com/discussion-groups-in-search-of-my-heart/
About the Host
Mardi Winder is a Strategic Divorce Consultant and High-Conflict Divorce Coach who helps high-achieving individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and control. Drawing on more than 30 years of experience in mediation, divorce coaching and conflict resolution, she supports clients in making smart decisions while reducing emotional and financial fallout, particularly in high-conflict, high-asset and complex divorces. Mardi is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC, and the Strategic Divorce Directory, LLC.
For Mardi’s gift: The Resilience Building Blueprint: A 28-Day Journey To A Stronger You https://www.divorcecoach4women.com/rbb
Connect with Mardi on Social Media:
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/Divorcecoach4women
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mardiwinder/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcecoach4women/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@divorcecoach4women
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
Do you have feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below!
Subscribe to the Podcast
If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.
Leave an Apple Podcast Review
Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts.
