From Chronic Pain to Foster Mom with Corree Roofener

Episode 138 • 30th January 2024 • Momma Has Goals • Kelsey Smith

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I didn't have confidence when I started this in anything, I would have never guessed this. It was just courage. And then get confidence, right? When you do it and you do something and you're like, that felt good all of a sudden, then the confidence starts to follow. I don't think we start with confidence, I think we have to earn it.

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Let's reimagine mom life together. Mama high schools is your hub for relatable support and helpful resources that help you fuel yourself alongside motherhood. Your identity is bigger than mom, and whatever your goals are, together, we're making them a reality. One of the most beautiful things about life is that we get to live little mini lives within our life. We get to see ourselves evolve and change and these different chapters of our story take place. And today, our guest has been able to wear multiple hats, different versions of her story, and be able to really create what now is a new chapter moving forward. Courtney is a determined soul with a mission to light the world one human at a time. And she is a mom, a wife and Nana and entrepreneur and a passionate advocate for the foster system and your personal legacy and family legacy. She envisions a future where people are unafraid to chase their dreams but more importantly feel empowered to dream to leave the fear of judgment aside and follow the nudge of the universe in all that you do. With courage, curiosity and unwavering determination. She aspires to leave a lasting impact on the lives of those she touches, inspiring a ripple effects of positivity, balance, joy and transformation. This conversation is so good. Today we unpack Korea's journey with chronic pain, her journey of understanding that she wasn't going to be able to have more biological children after her first two, how she entered the foster care system and cared for over 21 Children adopting for and now being a mom of a five year old while being a Nana and grandma. At the same time to a similar age. We talk about the different ways that she navigates that her journey from stay at home mom to entrepreneurship, in conversations of ways that you can just take one step at a day even when it feels really hard, whether it's physically, mentally, or the things that you have going on in your life and home. This is such a good conversation and one that we can all see ourselves in with so many specific dynamics as well. So grab your headphones and dive on in. Cory, I'm so happy to have you here. We were just chatting before we clicked record. And sometimes those are some of the best conversations I've just unpacking the journey of getting here. And truly what life has looked like up to this point, and you've worn so many hats, you have so many versions of your story in your journey. But I want to take it back to really where it all started becoming a teenage mom and the evolution of mom life and what that looked like for you. So one of the things that we really stand behind it mama has goals is that vom life looks so different to everyone. And that we can take on this title that we all share. But it can look in so many different ways. And you've done that in your own life. It's like so different in so many different ways. So I'd love for you to just bring us up to speed where you're at now as a mom and where you maybe thought you were going to be when you were first stepped into teen mom life. Oh,

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thank you so much, Kelsey, first of all for helping me so mom life. It's funny because we go back and we talk about What did you dream of being when you were a little girl or a little boy. And I all I've ever wanted is just I wanted to be a wife and a mom, I can remember saying that from a young age. And so when I got pregnant early, obviously not ideal. But it never scared me. I got this. I know I was born to be a mom. And I was very fortunate to be with someone that I had loved for a long time. We were highschool sweethearts. And so it's it felt right. We didn't get married right away. It was like push, push, push, you should get married. No, that's what you say I should do. But when I do this, I'm going to do it the way I want to do it. Yeah. And that kind of just defined who I was, as a mom right from the beginning is this is going to be my way. And I have expectations for myself. And that's how I'm going to be a parent to my child. And it just progressed from there. We were young. So we that was four years before we had our second child. I finished school, finished college, tried to get some foundation had our second child and and then life slapped me in the face again. And I was diagnosed with some chronic pain and disease and auto immunities. And it was just like, cut off at the legs, right? Your identity is taken away in a lot of ways. Even though I was a mom, I was still working. And we had to read look at things and got through some of that dealt with some of that. And we were given a gift of another option. And that was through foster care and adoption. And so then we began that journey and through that journey. I got to be a mom, temporary or permanent to 21 different children. And it was a blessing like no other one that I never saw in my future. But because I was just open enough to receive what was out there, it came. And so now I'm the mom of six. And I couldn't feel more blessed or honored to be there. At this point in my life, things look a little different. I'm not a stay at home mom anymore. I am a stay at home mom, because I work from home. But I work, it's a little bit different. But it's still very exciting. And I love the fact that I get to leave this legacy for my children of being brave enough to step outside the comfort zone and outside of what maybe our culture and our society says is what we should do, and do what feels good to you. And that's where I'm at right now I'm doing what feels good to me and what feels right in this part of our life. Yeah.

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And we all want that, right. We want to be able to be like, I'm going after what feels good to me, I'm making my decisions. But sometimes when you're in it, that's so hard, because you're just trying to go through the motions, and especially when that chronic physical pain comes in, you are like just trying to get out of bed, or you're trying to be able to physically pick your kid up and be able to do the small thing. So how did you make that first transition? When you first started having that pain? You have two little kids? I know you're saying you walked them to school often? How were you able to even take the first step when it was just like I'm in so much pain and life is really hard right now,

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like you said, it wasn't easy at all, I can still go back and think about those first couple of years after my initial diagnosis is and what those look like, I still remember like this visual of crawling down the hallway, because I couldn't walk, I couldn't lay everything hurt. And so it was shattering. Honestly, it was shattering. But I had amazing physicians, and I can't say that was like my whole life, just at that specific time. I had some amazing physicians in my life that were so supportive, into a diagnosis that was not real supported. So I'm originally misdiagnosed with diagnosed with fibromyalgia, later diagnosed along with Hashimotos. And so I had to fight the system, because Fibromyalgia has always been a little bit political, that my doctor was like, nope, I've been to this conference. And I said, You know what, Doctor II, I don't want to live on medicine. This, it literally takes my life from me, right? Because I was on at 1.7 different medications, three of them narcotic, I don't want to live that way. And so he supported me and getting off of all of those meds, and then really starting to research and get curious about what other things could possibly help me. And that's what I started looking at alternative medicine. Acupuncture was huge in the beginning, I don't use it as much anymore, but it was really big in the beginning. And then massage Cairo. So chiropractic care, eating, what I was eating, I simultaneously found out I was allergic or very sensitive to several foods, and taking those foods out of my diet. But again, it just because I was had to take the initiative, I had to say no, this is what I can control, I get to control this. When you say walking, just walking is a lifesaver. If I don't move, I'm a mess. So for years walking with it, that's all I did. I was I was scared to do too much more, right? Don't cause a flare up, just stay right where you're at. I've since I've since found that muscle strength yoga are blessings to me without my muscle strength, everything gets a little bit worse. But yeah, eating exercise, but knowing my limits, listening to my body, when I start to feel fatigued, stop, don't let my ego or my stubbornness, get in the way stop, be done, you've done something great. Now what tomorrow might bring a whole different situation. Sleep is so huge, it's so huge, and how we are sleeping. And if we are getting into that REM sleep so that our body can heal. I've done so much research to even begin to tell you. And that has just helped me because it just it enables me to have that

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control. Yeah. And so we talk a lot about boundaries. I think that when we go after our goals, and we step into motherhood, and we start to really define like what type of life we want, we have to set boundaries. But so often it's spoken about with boundaries with others, when really it's a lot of boundaries with ourself, too. Yeah. And I would love for you to talk a little bit about the balance between having boundaries to protect your health or where you're at, but also allowing yourself to imagine more or other. And when I think about it in your story, in just this part of it with the pain is you now wanted to grow your family, and you didn't feel that you had the opportunity or you weren't being shown the opportunity to do that within your own body. And so you're given the opportunity to become a mom in a different way. How did you allow yourself to want and also have a boundary of being like Okay, I just started to feel better. If I go and night and put this new thing into my life. Am I going to get sick again? Am I going to get more? Can I handle this? How do you know when you can handle more, but you also need to take care of you?

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Great question, and I don't think they're there. there's not a specific answer, except for really innately knowing who you are, right? Because I think we all innately are just completely different humans. For some of us. action is required. If we have some kind of action. We're like, I'm just done. So I needed, I envied it, I can't even express that enough. Like, I knew my motherhood journey was not over. And I hate to say over because I had two beautiful, wonderful children and I, they were going to be my children forever. But I knew I was born to be more. And I thought, oh, then I'll just go and have this done. Or I'll do that. And every time I would go and get a consultation, they'd be like pregnancy with your conditions might really, you know, do this or do that. And I began to take that step back, okay, where's my boundary, because I have these two beautiful children at home, I have to be what I need to be for them. And I have to be what I need to be for my husband, I made a commitment and a vow to him. And then this next journey came up. And I believe me, when I signed up for when we signed up for foster care, we had no idea what it looked like, we were so naive, I can't even begin to tell you how naive we were. But I was in this place of knowing that I had more to give. And so I set some early boundaries, the county I was in actually said to be read to get really clear on what kind of children you want in your home. So I knew like birth order was really important to me, they couldn't be older, or in the middle of my two biological children, because that creates friction. And so we knew they had to be younger. So there was a boundary. As we went through that process, in that journey, I employed way more boundaries. So there was boundaries about age, there was boundaries about how many children there was, because honestly, if I would have said fill me up, they would have filled me up. And that would have been a lot, that would have been too much. Typically, we had one, occasionally two, which would be siblings, very rarely. But there were a couple of times, we had two or three that weren't siblings. But very rarely, I knew I had the capacity for one child, possibly two children, depending on the situation. But I'm going to be like really vulnerable here. In that 13 year journey. I lost myself a lot. Because you're committed to this, this cause these children that literally have nothing. And so I lost a lot of myself, I'm not gonna sit here and say, oh, yeah, I came out just a walk a marathon runner. No, I didn't, I didn't actually this personal journey I'm on is because of that. Like, I knew after our fourth adoption that we were done, like, I couldn't do this anymore, physically or mentally, just like it took takes a lot. And so I knew we were done. And I looked at myself in the mirror one day, I just like, yeah, if let things go. And I don't just mean from a physical perspective, like my whole life revolved around doctor's appointments and caseworkers, and advocating and case plans, and all of this homeschooling and my other two children. So sports and horses and all these things. And where was I? In all of that? Yes, I was there mother, my biggest accomplishment 100%. But I still knew there was something more. And so boundaries have to start to be set again, right. And that began as physical boundaries, like mom's getting up in the morning to exercise, I am going to be making food at this time every Sunday, and I'm not doing anything else, because I'm meal prepping for the whole week. So there's, again, are more boundaries that my kids just know. And I still have those boundaries. I get up early, but they know if they get up early. This is mom's time. Because currently, we live in a very small space because we're building a home. Like if mom's door is shut, that's exercise time, or that's yoga time, or that's meditation time. So don't come in. Those are boundaries. We don't think of those as boundaries, though. But if we can't set those simple boundaries for our own personal care or own self care, then are we going to set them on the outside for the big things? Yeah,

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that's so true. That's so important. If someone is really struggling with setting boundaries right now, and maybe it's with their kids, maybe it's with themselves or an outsider, what is the maybe the first boundary that you would recommend someone setting and new it's going to be different, but what would the first step look like if someone's just okay, I'm gonna set one small boundary so I can see how that feels. Well, the first thing I think of for myself is when I set them know to go into a barbecue, I had my schedule full and we were saying yes to all of these things. And I always felt so guilty if I didn't actually have something else going on that I couldn't physically be there the fact of saying no, if I could make it happen so so scary at first and that was like the first boundary I remember setting was like, You know what, this is just too much and we're gonna have to say no, so what is maybe another example like?

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It's funny that you say that because the first thing that came to my mind is that no is a very powerful word. get really comfortable with saying that because we don't, right. Oh, I can't do this. I can't, I can't at what cost and So what I would say is, is find something that really is filling for you. Okay? For some of us, that's exercise, some of us that's listening to a podcast, right? Like, we just zone out and just really take it all in. I'm reading, meditation, whatever it is, find something that's really filling your cup, and then set a boundary. And don't let anything, including a sick child. And because let's say, Okay, I shouldn't say that. Because if you're a single mom, that's not going to work real well, for if you have a partner, you tell them, like, this is what I need for this time, you're on period. And they step up, you guys, even when we think they're not going to they step up. And if we can't set a basic boundary with people that we're supposed to be feel the most loved the most safe, the most comfortable with? How can we set a boundary with anybody else? So do something that really fills you? Because that's going to make you a better person, for your kids and your family, your spouse, or whoever, at any time? And then say no, or say yes to yourself, but no to everybody else for that period of time. And I always think about things like exercise. I think as moms, we always say, Oh, we don't have enough time. Yes, you do. Yes, you go, you just have to find it. And you have to make it because that's the thing is that you have to schedule it on your calendar to do it, schedule it on your calendar. Yeah. So

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once you're able to like set boundaries, and you're able to get to a space that you can start dreaming, and you can start looking forward. Sometimes I think it's really hard. If you don't have examples in your association, or in your network of the type of life you want to live, maybe someone wants to foster but they don't know anyone that has or they want to go and write a book, but they don't know anyone that has or they just want to have a different job, but they don't know anyone that's ever done that type of job. What are some of the ways that you started finding these new identities for yourself, when you had to create them or find people to support you?

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na. I live in a population of: 1000

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me of just like making mom friends, right? Where you can go up and you can say hi to someone at the coffee shop, the grocery store, the park, wherever you are, and that person may not be for you at all. And you might learn about yourself walking away being like, Gosh, why do I not want to be friends with that person? What is it about that person that I'm just like, not feeling it. But it doesn't mean that you've failed not making another friend or anything like that. It's just learning something new about yourself. And I think that is so important in all these different areas, whether it's making friends or riding a Harley, or starting a new job, or business or anything else, if you don't know, if you don't try right in, I think back even to your fostering journey, it's like you could have taken in your first foster child and be like, this isn't for us. But that wasn't your story and your journey. 21 children later, you've been able to have this be is such a huge chapters of your life, that you wouldn't have known it know how to try it. And I think that just shows up in so many different ways getting in community, you can see these new examples of where you can maybe try new things. But I think it just comes back to this determination and confidence at the very core, we're How do you step into that confidence? How do you step into that determination? To even get up in the morning, it goes back to the chronic pain question of like, you have to take the step each day, and only you can do it. So when you're sitting there, like how do you get yourself to say, let's try something new today. Let's go and do this.

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So I think part of it is beat a bomb. Okay. I think honestly, because I have to tell you that growing up, I was a very insecure, very shy little girl. I had no confidence, none at all. And so where did it come from being a bomb? Because here's the thing. Is I honestly, like the foundation of me is is the legacy What have I left for my children? What have I learned that I don't mean finances, I don't care about financial things. I really don't. People are like, you don't want to leave them. That's No, I don't care about that. I want to leave them this legacy of courage, this legacy of what it looks like to try new things to break the cycle. That's the big thing, like breaking the cycle if you don't like the cycle that has before you break it. And I say that, because when you talk about chronic pain, my dad, I grew up, my mom never divorced. But I grew up knowing my dad and being around him. He had five or six back operations in my life. Wow. And he had chronic pain. And he was the most angry, mean man I will ever know. I'm praying to ever know, but he that I knew as a child. And I knew right then like I would never be him. I would never do that to my children. And then lo and behold, what gets thrown at me? Oh, chronic pain as a laser light. And I had a choice to make. Do I let it define who I am? Or do I define who it is I have days of pain and it hurts and it sucks. And it doesn't it's not fun to be a parent on those days, because you want them to crawl all over you or whatever it is, and it hurts to have that happen. But you get to choose, you get to choose, okay, so they can sit next to you with a blank key and you can read a story. I have a coaching client who has really difficult pregnancies, and she wanted to get pregnant so bad with her third child, and she was so fearful of it. I said, How do you look at this situation? How do you define what that looks like? Doesn't mean you have to get up and take them to the park. But what about making up for on the living room floor and reading stories. So let's take our ego out of it. Let's take our defined what makes us successful as parents are whatever it is. But we've had some really big things happen the last few years. And it's just the same thing as I don't want them to ever say mom and dad worked the same job for their whole life, even though they were miserable pigs and retire with a pension and so they're successful. No, I want you to see us define what joy looks like define what success looks like. I want to leave them the legacy of saying be brave to break whatever barrier you're looking at. And look at it differently because if it's not bringing you happiness, we don't know we don't know our life expectancy. We don't know we got a death certificate. The minute we were took our first breath. Let's be honest, we did. We don't know what it looks like though, right? We talked about that before this. We don't know when our last breath is gonna be and so we have to truly not waste And so that's that defining that that motion, that forward mode movement. And I think that's what I'm always doing is taking forward movement. I don't have this magic answer. I'm just, life is so freakin cool. Like so cool. I'm so curious about it, oh my gosh, even when the hard things happen, like how can I move through this? How can I be the best version of myself today, and then tomorrow, and then the next day? Because those are the things my kids remember. Those are the things I remember those the things that anyone around you remember, the stranger that you smile that right? They remember that they remember that that could have been the worst day of their life. And then all of a sudden, they were like, oh, there is still kind people in this world. Yeah, I

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was joking with a friend the other day and not joking at the same time. And we were talking about how can we make choices, sometimes they end up being harder than if we hadn't made that choice. Sometimes just living through the motions is easier in the moment. But that when we decide to push the boundaries and go into our goals, sometimes it can feel harder. And we just joked we said no one lays on their deathbed saying I got by and I was happy about it stuck through. And so you have to push yourself through and say, You know what, you're building those stories. And you have that curiosity, problem solving mindset to say, what is this going to mean for me? And how can I push through? And what can that look like? You also have this really interesting dynamic in your life right now where you're still a very active mom with young children. But you're also a grandma. Yeah. And I would love a Nana, Nana, Nana, I'd love for you to talk a little bit about what that looks like wearing both hats so deeply into how you show up as these different versions of Nana and Mom, mom to the now Mother of the little kids, and then also mom to your current kids that are still in the household? Where do you find this balance. And so the all the different versions of you, it is still a journey, while

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vulnerability is still a journey. So I take care of my grandbabies at least once a week, if not twice a week. So there is definitely like you said this very active role in their lives. So just let's take a step back for a second. So we moved to Montana, just less than about a year and a half ago, we sold everything we had in Oregon and started over. And my big children, my big boys, I call it my big bags. They call them the bigs we're still in Oregon. And within six months, they both followed us. So they both gave up everything they had, and followed us. So we talked about legacy. Remember, that is okay, I'm doing something right here because they want to be with me. But it's been weird. It's been weird. It's been hard. It's been so making me really step outside of what I am not gonna say not part of the reason we decided that we had to be done in the foster adopt journey, because I had to be able to set some boundaries in my home. And so when my youngest daughter is four, she'll be five this month. And then my oldest grandchild is who is also a girl just turned four in November. So they're only nine months apart. Wow. And when we had our last one placed with us, we did not know my son was pregnant. I sat in his daughter while we're pregnant. So we had no idea that this was going to happen, but it did. And it's been wonderful. But there is there's this fine line. And so I make sure my big kids understand that. I am Nana. I am not their children's parents, pure. I don't care if I care for them. They are my grandchildren. I've waited for this day for a long time. And I want to be the grandparent that they had when they were growing up. In my husband's my husband's mom was just that grandma that you run to write and I said I am not giving that up. So first of all, if you have any care for them understand it's my way. Number one boundary number two boundary, this has been a hard one. We're still working on this. You are not your siblings, parents. Because they're older, right? They want to boss them around. No, they had two parents. They don't need two more or four more in our cases because we have daughter most do. They have two parents that are very capable. So you're not their parent, you are their sibling, be their friend. Now if something's wrong, obviously you need to come to me. But you're that could be their big brother's like being the big brothers. And then three is so with my youngest. It's really with my youngest that we have to do this as I always say to our fee as my granddaughter. I am not the azmol I am your mom. Right? And so I'm setting the boundary with her right now. Like, it doesn't matter if it looks different. I'm your parent, this is the way because it doesn't matter. If it's my grandchild and my daughter that she's getting this with, she's gonna get it with somebody else's parents, right? Somebody else's parents let their kids get on Facebook. I'm not that these are our rules. And you live in this home. And these are our rules. And so these are the expectations that we're going to hold your ship and And honestly, in the grand scheme of things, it's been nothing but beautiful. But it's hard. I'm not gonna lie in saying it's not, it's hard. There's days, I just want to throw my hands up in the air and go, there's that.

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And that's part of life, though, right? Like, we're talking about this earlier, like, some days, it's not going to look good. Some days, it's not going to look beautiful. But at the grand scheme of things, it is yeah. And so it's figuring out how to push through those harder days to look back and look at the big picture. And be like, Wow, and I always think about this as like a book or a movie, right? Where if like, we're watching a movie, and the whole movie was just, I'll make fun of Hallmark movies for an example. Even Hallmark, movies have drama, they have ups, they have downs. That's what keeps you going through the movie, where if it was all just Blad, this is how it's gonna go, no one would watch it, they probably there was no plot to that movie, there was no plot to that book. And so I think it's we have to remind ourselves of that there, there's going to be depths, there's going to be hills that you have to climb. But it doesn't mean that having this beautiful combination of being Nana and mom at the same time is such a beautiful opportunity for you, even when you're like cautious was really hard to figuring out how to have those conversations, if there was someone that is in a similar situation of some sort. And there was like a habit or a routine or a sentence that you even say that would help. I think one of the ones you gave that I definitely could see being so important is you're not that person's parent, you're their sibling, and I'm not that person's parent, I am Nana or grandma. I think that right? There is such a huge takeaway. Is there anything else that you're like, This is what we come back to as our foundational guide, when we're going through this,

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I think, you know, there are foundational guidance parents period is that we're human too. And we're gonna make mistakes. And we show how it looks to have grace with ourselves, and how easy it is to say I'm sorry, I made a mistake. And I won't do that again. Because it doesn't matter how long you're a parent for, like being a parent today, compared to 20 years ago is completely different. So I have to learn new things all the time. And right now I'm parenting teen girls before it was teen boys. So that's two different worlds. And it's having those authentic trips, just very vulnerable conversations about you know, that I had just the other night I set the four younger ones down. And yes, I say all four but because my almost five year old is still in those conversations. And I said I am not the same mom that I was when we were in Oregon. So I was a stay at home mom, that was my sole responsibility. Yeah, and I have these other things. And they're so fun and cool. And I can't wait to see you, like, be a part of them and see how they grow and how they expand. I said, but I can't do it already more. That was really hard for me, because I'm a doer. And I said I have to have help. Dad has to have help. My husband is building our home full time. So he's still working full time, even though he's not in his job that he wasn't in Oregon. I said, so it's time you guys, I shouldn't have to ask you to do the dishes, just do the dishes. And that's those are hard, vulnerable conversations. Because we want to be everything. I don't know why we want to be everything. But we do. It's just, it's human nature, we should do it. All right. And having those conversations of just saying, I can't do it, or, yeah, I messed up, I'm sorry, I really messed up. But here's what we're gonna do, or just calling it right, like calling them to the plate. Because I think too many times we're, we're worried about what our kids think. And I don't mean that because my kids have a voice at our home, we have these very open intimate conversations all the time. And it's just but I'm not your best friend. I'm not your best friend, I want you to have a best friend outside of be that you can tell them how horrible their parents your parents are. Because the fact of matter is they don't they all come back and said, Let's go to let's go to their house because their parents are really cool. Because we're open, we're honest, we're vulnerable. We're all those things. We're not parents, we're human, that just have to make sure that these kids are safe and taken care of. And so just be that just being human and, and reminding ourselves that we can always be a better version of ourselves.

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We don't know at all. I think that's one of the hardest things about parenting for me is the parents that think they know it all. You don't know it all. None of us will ever know it all. And if you don't continually evolve as a parent, you're gonna miss out. Yeah, that's so important. The continual evolution as a human and a parent. And so let's talk about your evolution. You were doing bookkeeping, and you still are but you're also now supporting women in some of the things that you've overcome. And you can help them as well. What does that look like? If someone's oh my gosh, I this is what I need support with.

34:50

Yes, I recently have become certified as a holistic life coach. And the main reason behind that is because of what gave me personally I just wanted to go through The whole process. But what I found is that I can't help other people, right? We don't put that value ourselves, oh, I have nothing to give. But I do I have so many chapters stories of those things. And I am doing some one on one coaching I'm doing with women for a variety of reasons. Like I said, one of my clients was just having some real personal things that she didn't deal with another one was young, super young, and wanted to do some solo travel, how do I get curious enough and courageous enough to do that, and walk through that process, I do a lot of personal finance coaching, right, because I am a bookkeeper. And I do that. And a lot of speed is where I would like to go. Because I really feel like through stories we have so much. And I have so many stories that I love to share. Because I just feel like that connection, when you get to just really be in a room with people. People just don't understand how impactful it is to people. Yeah, and so I'm doing some speaking, and I don't know like that is thick, I don't know where the rest of it looks, I've I've really been handed some messages about doing something to support the foster community. I don't know what that looks like yet. And what's really cool is this, I'm not scared, I don't need to know what it looks like, I know that whatever is meant to be is going to come. And I'm going to be able to support the community, the children, the workers, whoever it is, in whatever fashion I'm supposed to. But I am passionate about foster care. So I know I'm supposed to still be there somehow. It's just not as a foster parent. Yeah. And I think it's so important

36:28

to see that you can have a role in something. But what that role is can evolve into this seems so normal to people to understand when it's like a job, right? Like you can take a different job and accompany. Or you can step up from full time to part time, or you can go do that title in a different organization. And it'll look different. But we don't always remember that it can look that way when it's like parenting or showing up as the school like classroom mom, or showing up in just what lights you up. And I think that is so important to remember, like you can stay involved in something, and it can look different. And it doesn't have to be the exact same version of what you were doing before. So I absolutely love. If anyone can connect with you, what are the best places for them to find you? Where can they continue to follow your journey.

37:19

I might kind of my words for: 2024

38:21

I agree. I think that was beautifully perfectly said you have to do the reps to earn the confidence. And it's really just naive courage to step into whatever it is that's on your heart and calling. But I think it's so important. And a couple people say this different ways and can be credited for it. But if you don't take action on whatever's on your heart, or that you're thinking about or feeling it's gonna eat you alive, you have to take some version of action to earn that confidence to see what is right and what is next for you. This was such a good conversation, Cory, we could go on for hours. But if you were to give our listeners just one thing to do today to whether it's earn that confidence to step into that courage, or just get curious and dream and go beggars, all of the things that you support women with and have done for yourself. What is one thing that they could do today with what they have? I would

39:16

say so they have a phone. So go on and find either one new podcast, or one new community group and start listening. You don't have to participate, just start listening. Because there's these little tidbits in it and it's going to start giving you your nudge, a little bit of fuel, and then in that fuel, then you're going to start getting that courage to see what happens. Jen scenario says, in order to live a life you've never lived, you have to do things you've never done. And it's just the little things even Mike listening, listening. One of the things that has been the most impactful for me is getting in community. So I would have to say get in some kind of community that are not the The people that are doing the same thing that you're doing, they have to be where you want to go or where you think you want to go. Yeah.

40:07

And of course, we love the mama haskel's community and podcast. But what is another podcast that you resonate with that you would love for the person that can go push play immediately today, the permission

40:18

slip community with criminal and I think she covers so many different things. And she really calls you to the plate. She doesn't let it be the person that cops out. But that's just there's so many Rachel Luna, I can keep going on.

40:33

Yeah, so good. But the fact is, you start with one. And then though, that's how you find more. And that's how you hit this domino effect of your connection cooperation community building. So that is amazing. I love Carmen too. I definitely would definitely agree. I will link the permission slip community podcast below. But, Cory, thank you so much for being here. If you have so many exciting things going on, as you step into this journey, what is one primary goal or primary focus that you have for this year that you're really just excited about all women's retreat

41:04

in Costa Rica that really begins this process of blooming? I'm collaborating with two other women that are in the same space I'm in and it literally just gives me goosebumps. I am so freaking excited about it.

41:16

Oh my gosh, I can't wait to hear the details. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Sometimes the smallest acts of love is all a mom needs to feel reinvigorated. If you can relate to that I feel so supported by your five star rating in written review. Take a moment and let me know what you thought about this episode.

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