Episode 179 of the Fit Father Project Podcast is special, and I’m so excited about it — a one-on-one Q&A with our head trainer, Ben Sterling! 

If you’ve been in or around the Fit Father or Fit Mother programs, you know Ben. Now, you’re going to REALLY get to know him!

This awesome chat between Ben and Kat, our head of accountability and coaching, goes deep into Ben’s life story and how he got to where he is today.

Ben joined the Fit Father Project in 2018 with almost 20 years of experience in the fitness and health industry. Finding himself borderline obese one day in college, Ben dedicated his life to health and fitness, dropping over 60 pounds in the process! 

He has since been featured on CNN, The Washington Post, and Canadian Business Magazine for his efforts in the field. 

Ben has a Certified Personal Trainer accreditation from the American Council on Exercise, a Senior Fitness Specialist certification, and a Fitness Nutritionist Specialist certification.

He’s also an all-around great guy, a true family man, and someone with much wisdom and knowledge to share!

In this episode, you’ll learn about: 

• Ben’s upbringing and how he went from a ‘chubby kid’ to ‘skinny fat.’
• How he got himself motivated to make a change. 
• Paying attention to your health and fitness while juggling life and a family.
• How to make your own lifestyle changes.
• Dealing with setbacks and adversity. 
• What’s next for Ben and his Q&A sessions in the Brotherhood and Sisterhood.
• And so much more!

So, to get the most from your health and fitness efforts, listen to this awesome Q&A with Ben, take some notes, and check out FF30X! 

What is FF30X?

FF30X is a simple, sustainable, and specific weight loss program designed especially for busy men over 40. With short metabolic training workouts, an easy-to-follow meal plan, and an accountability team there for you at every step, FF30X can help you lose 30, 40, or even 50+ lbs — even if you’ve never picked up a weight in your life. 

Click here to see what you get when you join the FF30X program today!

If you loved what you heard on the Fit Father Project Podcast, please follow, rate, and review it on Apple Podcasts.

You can also listen to the show on:

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Remember to subscribe to our YouTube Channel and follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn!

[00:00:25] Kat: Hi, I'm Kat from the Fit Father and Fit Mother Project. And we are so excited to have you here today. We have a very special podcast episode. We have the one and only Ben here, who is our head trainer for both our fit father and fit mother programs. And he is going to share his story. You're just going to be able to meet him and see how awesome he is, what our members already know.

[00:00:55] Ben: podcast. Thank you. This is a long time coming. I've, uh, I've heard this, uh, should [00:01:00] have been happened a while ago, but, uh, we're here now. So, uh, yeah, let's do this. We're

[00:01:12] Ben: Yeah. So, um, I am 41 years old. I reside in, just turned 41 years old, uh, may I add. I reside in Bristow, Virginia, which is about 45 minutes southwest of Washington, D. C. I was born and raised in Virginia. I spent most of my life here. Um, I have two boys at home. We have an 11 year old and an 8 year old. And I have been married to my beautiful bride for 16 years now.

[00:01:51] Kat: Awesome. All right. One of the incredible pieces of the Fit Father and Fit Mother project is that all of our team [00:02:00] members have walked this journey in some way.

[00:02:23] And he's always been that and he's never experienced, you know, the struggle, but you have, you've been there. So let's hear it. Let's talk about it.

[00:03:06] I was always active. Uh, but I just, you know, I was just always that, uh, little chubby kid. And, um, we're talking about in the 1980s here and my mom actually had, uh, the foresight to always make sure we ate our veggies, always make sure we had something green, as she would say. In all of our meals, so it's not like I was, uh, eating the worst either.

[00:03:46] And I still just couldn't, uh, make the progress that I was looking at. And. I have these two friends that all sticks out to me. There's a one guy that I lifted with every single week. And he would literally, you know, go out to eat six [00:04:00] days a week with his family. They're, you know, frozen pizzas sky high in their chest freezer.

[00:04:20] And same thing, you know, sporting a six pack, totally ripped. You hear about those kids or when they're teenagers or young adults, I can eat whatever they want, you know, and, and, and not gain a single pound. Well, that, that wasn't me. So, uh, by the time college rolled around, I had put on, I think I was about 180 going into, uh, college.

[00:04:42] Kat: how tall are you for people

[00:05:02] And then all of a sudden, just one day I just realized, Hey, you know, I'm borderline obese. If I wasn't there already, uh, up at two 15. And, um, I realized, Hey, this is. This is not the lifestyle I want. So, uh, for me, it was kind of like a light switch. And there's one day I said, you know what? This is the last day.

[00:05:39] So, uh, I just kind of came across that milestone of never looking back and my lifestyle, uh, has never been the same ever since then.

[00:06:00] Ben: Yeah, that's definitely there were some challenges because I still wanted to live the uh, You know the quote college lifestyle still want to have fun, especially in my senior year, right? It's my last year and I still wanted to be with my friends and hang out and have a good time So I always tried to find it a way to implement some sort of healthy Change in my life, right?

[00:06:36] Food or something unhealthy, uh, stuff like that, where I didn't want to miss out and hanging out with them. So I would just bring my own, right? I, every once in a while, of course, I would still enjoy the pizza or the Chinese food with them. I didn't want to deprive myself either, but most days I would just bring my own food so I could still hang out with them.

[00:07:11] So it was a balance, you know, and, uh, it wasn't the easiest situation, but that's why I always tell some of our members that if I could do it in college, in a fraternity, you know, I'd still lose the weight that, uh, you could do it too. Whatever, uh, lifestyle, uh, obstacles you may have going on. So, yeah, it was definitely a challenge, but, uh, I'm glad I did it.

[00:07:40] Kat: And how does that change? So, You've had 20 years now of keeping the weight off, and I'm sure that looks different when you're a young man coming out of college, right, on your own versus trying to keep the weight off as, you know, newlywed and then as a dad and of little ones and a dad of now older ones.

[00:08:03] Ben: Yeah. So, you know, I guess I'm blessed. And potentially cursed with, uh, my mindset and attitude. I'm very tunnel vision. So when I get my mindset on something, that's all I focus on. Um, so it was a lot easier coming out of college, as you said, as a young adult and not married yet, and basically living my own lifestyle, but, you know, as Work priorities, uh, start coming about as you're newlywed, as you said.

[00:09:00] Uh, this lifestyle and supporting me and knowing this is the life I want to live, it's definitely helped a tremendous amount.

[00:09:23] to encourage you to stay on track that I don't think is often added in to that realm of what we think of. And that is so important. And I'm happy you mentioned that some members can hear that 20 years of success came with support from others to around you. So did your family latch on right away when you said you wanted to make this change or was there some push?

[00:09:53] Ben: Yeah, I wouldn't say there's pushback from family, but more so from friends and maybe not pushback might not be the right word, but it may be [00:10:00] more, uh, you know, I'm going to work happy hours, you know, and and not, you know, partaking with them or when you have company.

[00:10:46] They, they eventually got on board and then, uh, you know, ideally or hopefully I was able to rub off on them a little bit as well.

[00:11:03] That's a great chance for us to open up. How did you end up here? How did you end up a trainer at the Fit Father and Fit Mother Project?

[00:11:25] Um, but unfortunately at the University of Virginia, where I went and go, who's, uh, they did not offer, uh, exercise science or kinesiology or anything like that. So, uh, I didn't really have any options at that point. And I didn't want to transfer with only one year left before I graduated. So, um, what I decided to do is I would just move forward with my normal career path.

[00:12:04] And so I made the difficult decision that I was going to, uh, quit my job to, uh, get my personal trainer certification. And, uh, this was in 2010, I believe 2011, somewhere around there. And I was working for an amazing, very, very progressive company called the Motley Fool, which I'm sure some of you who are listening may have heard of this company.

[00:12:44] And, you know, this was, like I said, in 2010, before corporate wellness was, you know, wasn't even a thing yet, or maybe in its infancy, and they bought the idea, they loved it, and I created a position at this company where I switched over from quality assurance tech work to doing this, uh, [00:13:00] uh, more wellness promotion, and I did that for a few years, and it was, it was basically a dream job, I got to create the job from scratch, and I was very appreciative of that opportunity, but my wife and I wanted To be at home with our young babies and then toddlers and our infants and then toddlers as they grew.

[00:13:40] to rejoin the workforce. And, uh, luckily enough, I found, uh, the Fit Father, Fit Mother project, and, uh, the rest is history. And I've been with you guys ever since. I mean,

[00:14:00] Ben: Yeah,

[00:14:26] Ben: I would say more of the latter. It definitely boosted me. Um, you know, like I said, I've tunnel vision with my goals and I never want to waver from them, uh, but I could definitely feel, uh, the mental stress coming on with, obviously with, you know, now with a newborn or a young kid and a newborn in the house and, uh, trying to make ends meet financially.

[00:15:16] Uh, ground myself into the earth every day just to make myself, uh, realize, Hey, you know, I'm doing this for the right thing. You know, it's all going to be okay. And luckily it was. Hey, it's Dr. Ray. I want to quickly pause this episode to thank you for listening to this fit father podcast. I am just blown away at how amazing this podcast has become.

[00:15:53] That's what I want to share. Just some gratitude from my heart to yours. Let's get back to

[00:16:10] Like what do you do for the fit father and fit mother project?

[00:16:36] So, uh, as the head trainer at FFP and FFP, I'm here to kind of help. Uh, make their journey theirs, uh, whether it's through our routine exercise modifications for movements that fit their needs a little bit better, or like I said, they have dietary restrictions, they can't eat certain foods, how can they mold our principles, our eating habits into their lifestyle, and I can help [00:17:00] create that for them, kind of a little bit of a cheerleader.

[00:17:29] Kat: Yeah, it's kind of that added community too, right? Not only are you that trainer, you're also, like you said, you're in their corner, like you're rooting for them. You care. And I think that's different, right? That's something that's unique to the Fit Father and Fit Mother project is that we have an entire staff who really is rooting for you.

[00:18:09] You've lost your weight, right? So now what are you trying to do? What are those new goals that you've kind of started to walk into? Yeah,

[00:18:30] And when I got to my lowest, I realized it was just a little too low for my size, for my height, uh, so I wanted to build back up, but in the last 20 years, you know, I've cycled through so many different, uh, challenges, either, uh, challenges that were presented to me from. Um, like physical, actual, not like detrimental challenges, but like actual physical challenges, uh, for either, you know, gaining muscle and building my body back up versus cycling back, trying to cut back on body fat a little [00:19:00] bit, uh, going through different dietary changes, um, uh, eating primal at one point, paleo at one point, keto at one point.

[00:19:30] And then these last five, I've just been like another half. It's been that much information. And I feel like I'm kind of evolving now into more of a. I don't want to say maintenance lifestyle, there's not that there's anything wrong with that, but I want to, I like to push through to certain goals and, uh, but trying to find that balance between having a better overall healthier lifestyle, not just reaching blindly for a certain goal, uh, uh, so I guess there's kind of a bit of a balance, I guess I would say from [00:20:00] trying to build muscle, trying to shed fat, trying to stay cut, trying to do different dietary challenges to more of a, okay, what is, you It's gonna be healthiest for me and my family and my two small kids in the long run, right?

[00:20:19] Kat: desire. Yeah. And you do have another unique perspective of you can connect with members who are trying to lose weight because you've been there.

[00:20:47] You've also stepped into that where you can connect with members who have switched over to old school muscle and are really working to put on muscle mass. Cause you put a ton of effort into that for yourself.

[00:21:10] Not, not that I was eating bad foods, but not eating enough foods, especially when you put that caloric surplus you need for growth, right? I, I spent so long trying to lose weight. Weight and body fat for this journey that it's hard to switch over right to eat at that surplus and I think for many years I sabotaged my success and potential results by, you know, burning away at some really necessary lean muscle, lean tissue.

[00:21:55] And then old school muscle, as Kat mentioned, OSM is more of that muscle building growth [00:22:00] development type program. Very, very different programs, very, very different protocols and lifestyles. Um, and I think I was caught somewhere in the middle. And, uh, so I understand that struggle for sure, but, um, learning what I've learned along the way for myself.

[00:22:34] Uh, it's a great place to be and I can definitely understand that from their point of view.

[00:22:51] Ben: Yeah, it's, uh, it's definitely a process. Uh, As I alluded to before with something like FF30X, it's a lot easier, right? I mean, it's easier to eat at a [00:23:00] deficit. You don't necessarily have to calculate your calories to the T. You definitely can. And we have some members that do, which is perfectly fine. Uh, but for, uh, most of our members who.

[00:23:23] You gotta, you gotta know about your caloric intake, how much you're eating, how much you need for growth, et cetera. And I thought I was doing that, uh, plenty well, plenty good. Um, uh, but I don't think I was eating enough to, uh, Match my lifestyle. I like to have, you know, a daily workout most days of the week I'm lifting but I also like to take multiple walks throughout the day as well So I don't think I was matching so My weights were going up and that could have just been a central nervous system boost From that perspective.

[00:24:12] I need to be doing some, uh, calorie cycling, which we break down in the program about eating at that surplus that's necessary for growth. So, um, Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a challenge, but, uh, it is possible once you dial in everything and if you're willing to as well.

[00:24:30] You know, Ben has figured it out. Look, Ben's been here. He's figured it out. He's done this hard work. You can come to our team and join. Dr. Anthony's put the plan together. Ben's tested it. He's run through it all and he can help you perfect it. You don't have to do any of that part now. If you're listening, just show up.

[00:24:58] Ben: goals? Well, well, [00:25:00] you know, as you know, Kat, we've talked about this a ton. I just, uh, I, I was doing keto most recently for myself and I realized I was doing it for nine months. And, you know, once again, with the blessing and the curse of the tunnel vision, I did it for nine months straight.

[00:25:28] And, uh, and then my body started revolting and going back the other way. My cortisol levels were just too high. I was storing more body fat than I was comfortable with. And I said, you know what? Hey, I love the workout routine. I've been doing this, uh, heavier lifting routine, but let's bring some carbs back into the mix and see what happens.

[00:26:04] I mean, keto is not the most sustainable for most people, long term, uh, carbs are not the enemy and I didn't think they were an enemy either. I just wanted personal challenge, you know, let me just clarify that. Um, but, uh, yeah, so we're more, more about a more healthy, uh, main. uh, attainable lifestyle, long term lifestyle change.

[00:26:42] Kat: Yeah, I mean, I think sustainability, being able to have a program that it doesn't really feel like a program almost you're like, okay, I'm eating a healthy plate in front of me. Maybe you're boosting how much protein you're having or okay, I'm focusing on my hydration, but you're just. You're [00:27:00] eating a healthy plate of food at all of your meals, right?

[00:27:21] But are they sustainable forever? You had an interesting experience of you did this for, you all need to really listen here when Ben tries something, he goes all in, like when he said he was doing this for nine months, this was no cheating, like completely all in. There was nothing that varied. He was in ketosis for nine months, like 100 percent there, no doubt in my mind there.

[00:28:08] But it's more simple than most things.

[00:28:25] You're, uh, eating more, uh, hopefully more, uh, you know, nutritious whole base type foods. And that's why a lot of these diets tend to work. Um, but what we promote at FSP and FMP is more about that, uh, as Kat mentioned a couple of times, just eating that perfect plate. And for those who don't know, you're just dividing a plate into three, right?

[00:29:04] You can get, you can do it if it motivates you and jump starts you maybe, and can help get you going. But yeah, there's just so much easier to live a normal lifestyle in our society by just, uh, you know. Promoting moderation and making healthier choices and I think you don't do anything crazy or crazy fat if you are trying to make changes.

[00:29:36] Ben: I mean outside

[00:29:44] But in addition to that, what else

[00:30:06] That's why I ended up in tech for a little bit of that, uh, process, uh, oriented thinking mindset. So I'm really big in the game theory and, uh, that type of outlet. So, uh, between that and, uh, obviously exercise. I love spending time with my boys. They are at that age where they're super into sports right now.

[00:30:50] Because, you know, you know, without family, without your health, I mean, what do you have, right? And so it's, uh, uh, definitely a big part of my life, uh, being, being in their life. [00:31:00] Yeah.

[00:31:07] Ben: Uh, well, definitely my alma mater, University of Virginia, all sports for sure.

[00:31:32] All I got to you Vieta is to propel us through. So you shouldn't have to worry about that.

[00:31:44] Ben: We can do that. Sure,

[00:31:58] What's that advice you [00:32:00] would give for that? Member or perspective member who's sitting there right now.

[00:32:18] Dr. Anthony does want you guys to know why we're promoting what we're promoting and not just Blindly doing something. It's supposed to be a lifestyle change after all, not just a quick fix, but just starting somewhere. There is so much you can do, so much you could do, uh, just to get going. It doesn't have to be a lot either, right?

[00:32:52] I mean, we're not talking about a lot, maybe 15, 20 minutes every day. Uh, even after dinner, uh, as a preferable option, maybe in the morning, you get that [00:33:00] morning sunlight on your skin, in your eyes. It's going to work amazing wonders just to make you feel better. Not just on the short term micro scale and the day to day basis, but long term you'll realize how much better you feel.

[00:33:31] It's just, it's just basically small changes, you know, hydrating more, giving yourself an extra glass or two of water a day, starting your day off with that instead of just reaching for those caffeinated drinks, uh, that, you know, make you feel good temporarily, but it'll give you that crash later on. It's just, it doesn't have to be a lot.

[00:33:57] Kat: Awesome. That's a great way to wrap [00:34:00] it up. Start somewhere, go and see Ben in the Brotherhood and Sisterhood pages. Once you join the program, you're added to this great community and Ben as well as our other coaches are there to support you.

[00:34:29] You get to ask those personal questions and we are so happy to be on this journey with you. Please check us out on our YouTube channel for more amazing content. Listen to other podcasts, send your questions into us. So that our team can talk with you and we will talk with you on the next episode.

[00:34:52] If you love what you heard, please rate and review our podcast on apple podcasts. It really helps spread this show to more men who need this valuable [00:35:00] info to watch full video episodes of this podcast and other motivational videos to inspire your training and more. Visit our fit father project, YouTube channel.

[00:35:30] com where you can see our proven programs, supplement line for guys 40 plus and free meal plan and workouts to get you started. This is Dr. Anthony Balduzzi signing off. I'll see you in the next episode.