There's a quiet myth that a good father is the strong one with all the answers. Most dads don't feel that way, they just keep showing up. This episode is for the father carrying weight no one sees.
Orthopedic surgeon and dad of three Sean Adelman shares what changed when he stopped expecting his kids to be like him, why owning your failures matters, and how authenticity beats control.
About the Guest:
Dr. Sean Adelman is a Seattle orthopedic surgeon, author, and father of three. With his wife, he co-founded Raise Expectations, an advocacy platform sharing resources for families and children with special needs.
Key Takeaways:
- Your kids don't have to be you; let them choose their own path.
- When anger rises, pause and name it before you act.
- Let your kids see you fail; it shows them failure is survivable.
- Own your bad days out loud so no one fills in the wrong story.
- Find community; other parents can remind you what's normal.
Connect With the Guest:
Website: raiseexpectations.com
Author of the Sam's Top Secret Journal series and Trispero
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] A Quieter Kind of Strength — The host opens on the myth that dads must have all the answers
[02:30] The Concert That Said It All — Sean on adult kids who still want to hang out
[05:00] Unlearning "Do As I Say" — How a military upbringing shaped, then reshaped, his parenting
[10:00] They Don't Have to Be You — Giving kids the dignity of their own mistakes
[15:00] The Pause Before the Reaction — Mindfulness, anger, and choosing the harder response
[20:00] Letting Your Kids See You Fail — Why owning your failures builds safety
[24:00] Small Moments, Big Impact — Raise Expectations and the power of everyday interactions (timestamps approx.)
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