Denise Bolds and Ravae Sinclair share their experiences and insights on personal growth, wellness, and inclusivity in the birth work community. They emphasize the importance of self-love, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care for effective leadership and service. They also discuss the challenges of navigating identity and leadership as black women in the field, and the need for inclusivity and transparency in serving diverse communities.

Outline

Personal transformation, stress, and self-care for birth workers.

• Denise and Ravae discuss their struggles with weight loss and fitness, sharing their experiences and tips.
• Ravae Sinclair reflects on her weight gain and stress during her time as intercultural director at Dona.
• Denise Bolds shares her own experience with weight gain and stress, and how it relates to her current project.
• Ravae Sinclair shares her personal journey as an intercultural director and board member, highlighting the challenges and toll of pushing for inclusivity and change within institutions.
• Sinclair reflects on the weight gain and stress she experienced during her time as a volunteer board member, and how she had to find ways to prioritize her own well-being after leaving the board.

Self-care and parenting an adult child.

• Denise Bolds shares her wellness journey and how it supports her birth work, despite external obligations.
• Ravae Sinclair encourages Denise to embrace her identity and inclusivity in her dissertation, leading to project success.
• Denise Bolds and Ravae Sinclair discuss parenting an adult child, with Denise adjusting her approach to let go and prioritize self-care.
• They agree that it's important to let adult children make their own mistakes and learn from them, while still providing support and guidance.

Prioritizing self-care for marginalized communities in the post-pandemic era.

• Denise Bolds and Ravae Sinclair discuss burnout and recovery as birth workers, with Ravae sharing her struggles with leading inclusive work while prioritizing self-care.
• Ravae and Denise explore the changing needs of birth workers during the pandemic, with a focus on balancing work and self-care in this new phase.
• Ravae Sinclair reflects on her identity as a seasoned birth worker and black woman, prioritizing her own needs and authenticity in her work.
• Sinclair shares examples of other birth workers who have found success by staying true to themselves and their communities, inspiring her to do the same.

Personal growth and transformation in one's 40s and 50s.

• Denise Bolds and Ravae Sinclair discuss their personal growth and transformation in their 60s, with a focus on serving others.
• They share their experiences of unloading baggage, breaking bad habits, and being transparent with themselves for personal growth.
• Ravae Sinclair shares her experience of transforming in her 40s, including gaining weight and setting boundaries.
• Denise Bolds discusses how turning 50 brings new challenges, such as figuring out how to use the fire of life.

Self-care and self-love for black women during menopause.

• Denise Bolds and Ravae Sinclair discuss self-care and its impact on their doula practices, with Denise sharing her experience of letting go of clients who are not a good fit.
• They emphasize the importance of accountability in growing a business, with Denise mentioning the need to evolve and adapt to changes.
• Denise Bolds shares her journey of transforming her health through diet and exercise, with the help of her doctor and online resources.
• Ravae Sinclair supports Denise's efforts and encourages others to make similar changes, emphasizing the importance of partnering with caring professionals.

Wellness, self-love, and life balance.

• Ravae Sinclair and Denise Bolds discuss wellness and self-love, with Ravae sharing her struggles with body image and self-care.
• Ravae and Denise reflect on the importance of prioritizing wellness and self-love, despite societal pressures and toxic environments.
• Ravae Sinclair shares her weight loss journey and how she's embraced her body, despite societal pressure to conform to beauty standards.
• Denise Bolds joins the conversation and shares her own weight loss journey, discussing the importance of work-life balance and self-care.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

work, people, girl, life, birth, denise, years, happened, resonate, workers, doula, change, moving, care, good, days, partnered, wellness, results, wellness journey

Denise Bolds

Us. Hey, hey, you

Ravae Sinclair

me put some clothes on.

Denise Bolds

Hold on.

Ravae Sinclair

This is some bullshit.

Denise Bolds

It's you have to work on it, but when you do, you see the results.

Ravae Sinclair

You gotta muscle. Girl,

Denise Bolds

I'm doing this every day. I'm in the shower with my brush. You see my glucose, my I'm I'm doing this. Girl, I'm not playing. I'm not playing.

Ravae Sinclair

Girl, you see, I can't even go without sleeves. I'll be like, let me cover up these arms a little bit.

Denise Bolds

You got you gotta? You gotta get into it.

Ravae Sinclair

Yeah, you

Denise Bolds

gonna, do you gotta? You gonna get it? You gonna get it? Well, I'm not meant to stay. That's the thing. Once you start moving it, it's gonna go away, because it's not meant to stay. And, yeah,

Ravae Sinclair

and I actually looked at a picture of let me get my lighting together while we talk, a picture of me. Okay, so, you know, I feel like Facebook memories and iPhone is blessing and a curse. Yeah. So, oh, the last, the last like, six or seven days, for whatever reason, my phone decided to do a whole memory of that Houston conference in DC. And, you know, mouth is all in all the pictures, and so is Melissa, you know. And I, I'm like, okay, am I deleting these because, but this was my life, like I sort of, I'm not willing to, like, delete so they still, they keep popping up, which I gotta work my way through. I gotta figure out how to de prioritize those photos so that they don't come up. But, you know, I like a good receipt, so I'm kind of, like, not willing to delete, but it's a lot anyway. The whole point is, I'm looking at myself, and I, first of all, I know I was in a diabetic crisis, and I've survived it, I'm sure, but my arms, I was fat. As President of donor, I was fat. I was fat when we were at the I like, I was carrying a lot of weight. Okay, okay. And I'm looking, I'm like, oh, somebody should have told me, goodness gracious, this was, that

Denise Bolds

was, but you know what? That was cortisol. That was a lot of stress. It

Ravae Sinclair

was a lot of stress. It was helpful to actually look. Because I was like, Look how far I've come. That was, oh, girl, I was in, I was in a struggle, and didn't know it. I would have said, those were some really good years, you know? I would have said, Oh, I mean, I was president, I was doing this, I was creating these programs. But other than the Impact Program, I don't really in the maybe the certification changes. I don't really see anything that I was working hard at that actually took root in donor.

Denise Bolds

Um, okay, okay, yeah,

Ravae Sinclair

I'm talking to people who are also in corporate, and they're like, nothing changes unless they wanted to change. Well,

Denise Bolds

well, yeah, that Right, right.

Ravae Sinclair

They'll give lip service to the DEI stuff, all of that, and we see how that cycled out.

Denise Bolds

Okay, okay, okay, I can see that

Ravae Sinclair

I want to get talking heavy until we are ready. But no, but

Denise Bolds

girl, I was, I'm looking at Facebook myself, and Facebook, it's not up here right now. It's actually on my it's actually on the for some reason, it's on my desktop. Facebook showed me doing one of my little talks in my car two years ago, and I was big. My face was round, I was I was fat two years ago. It's like, oh so compared to now, it's like, oh, some of those face back flashbacks. I'm like, oh shit. I was big there. My skin was a mess. That was all that stress of going through donut two years ago. So I'm not surprised I look like that two years ago. It's like, oh my god. It was crazy.

Ravae Sinclair

Yeah, and here I think, and I know this is B roll, I know we're just talking. We haven't even gotten into our discussion yet. I'm still putting on lipstick, but I actually think that this would be something really helpful to share, because you have something, a project that I think you're pursuing that speaks to this. But when I was doing heavy lifting in Dona, saying I was intercultural director. And then I went, I did three years as an intercultural director, working to address their reputation, address their language, make the language inclusive or make some edits. And I did a lot of conversations with people about losing the word language, like mother, she her father, they were wanting to go to neutral language, and I kept fighting for all the words, because every we have multiple identities, right? And at this moment, I don't even know where they landed, and it doesn't matter me. It doesn't matter to me girl, the fact that we were doing so much conversation and work, and then they were constantly creating more controversy, right? Like it was really a tough job, and then moved into the president role for three years, then rolled off the board, and then got came back on the board. But the work of trying to move this shit forward and turn it around, it left me, like I said, when I look at those photos, I was almost 300 pounds. That's I had been a person for most of my life had been 170 pounds. So I had picked up 100 pounds over the course of this work, and of course, leaving the board, and then also leaving what I didn't even realize at the moment was a toxic relationship without any effort, no effort at all. I looked up and 50 pounds had fallen off my body, Frank, right?

Denise Bolds

And all that prolonged sitting, all you know, that was a lot of

Ravae Sinclair

and it was constant stress, and I was doing it as a volunteer board member. So then, after I spend all that time, I then had to go find a way to make money and, like, keep my life alive, right? So I'm saying that, and you're making you're sharing about your cortisol level, and I guess because we're speaking to birth workers who are doing the same thing I was just describing. They're moving their businesses forward. They're they're intoxic or challenging relationships. Because I can't tell you, I've seen in the last month, at least four birth workers say, announce that they're separated from their partners, right? They have left toxic relationships. Some like, Oh, for real. Oh, wow. Because I know life is lifeing for all of us, but I'm saying this to say we you and I have both been where a lot of these birth workers are broken relationships betrayal and friendships betray. You know, losing spouses and then also working within institutions where you're trying, you're pushing for change, pushing for inclusivity, pushing for life affirming policies, yes. And so it takes its toll. I think that's the testimony, right? It really takes its toll. And when I look back at those old pictures, I was, I like I said, I was big as a house, and I can't even describe to you in some of those moments. I can, I can tell you how bad I was feeling, but I was still helping people. I was still showing up. I was still checking all the boxes, making sure the program was going well, making sure I had my words correct. And the truth is, I wasn't really taking care of myself at all,

Denise Bolds

but you were taking care of everybody else though.

Ravae Sinclair

I was trying, yeah, and I was showing up the way I thought people needed me to show up. And in the end, it wasn't enough. It wasn't the right. See, God will never have you going against yourself, right? That's right. Those are that those feelings were indicators that, hey, this ain't it, revey, because I have these external obligations, I kept going, and I know you've been on a wellness journey, if you want to share with you a little bit on the spot, if you want to share some of what you know, the lessons that you can we can take forward, because I've been just on the sidelines watching you and dibbling and saying, I'm going to dabble. I dabbled, and then I let it go, and then I dabbled, and then let it go. So I've been on this journey, just in a peripheral way with you, but share, if you can, what you what you're ready to share about, like your wellness journey, and how it might translate and support other birth workers.

Denise Bolds

Yeah, sure. Well, you know, I have to practice what I'm preaching here today, because I'm doing this dissertation on the weathering of doulas. So I can't be sitting up here falling apart and having a real jacked up lab result from my doctor's office. I kind of have to be healthy here, you know? So it's like, yeah, it's like, but yeah, I this. You're right. I see them all over the social medias. People are breaking up, they moved out, they're in, they're in traumatic relationships, they they can't leave. Oh, my God, it's like, Oh,

Ravae Sinclair

I know there's a lot. And really, is it? Really, there's a lot, and, you know? And the truth is, like in your life journey, you've been through all of that too. So what's, what's working for you, what's allowing you to do your birth, work, your dissertation, and all that work at this high level and actually simultaneously embrace wellness.

Denise Bolds

I've come you know Denise, 6.0 coming into being 60 in in what for 13 days, I really have learned the true meaning of the saying put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you put it on somebody else. Well, what does that mean? And you know, even to the last the nth hour here, I was trying to put the word bipoc All through my dissertation. Denise, you ain't a bipoc. What are you doing? I'm still trying to be inclusive. I'm still trying to help, no, you're black. Do something with black people. And it's like, oh, yeah, that's exact. And once I said that, everything in my my whole project this week fell into place as soon as I did that. Because it's like, stop trying to put yourself here. You don't have to. That's somebody, that's a that's a doctoral student that's her responsibility,

Ravae Sinclair

right? And there's not enough of just us, and I think we can only do what we can do. And you know, even as intercultural director, I was trying to be expansive without having any roots, and all of those spaces that I was trying to expand to, right, right, and sometimes we just have to take care of ourselves.

Denise Bolds

Girl, I had to say to myself, Jordan has to fail. He has to flop. He has to fall. He has to do whatever it is called. Growing up, I cannot prevent those things. I can't

Ravae Sinclair

and you shouldn't he needs someone to happen. We need

Denise Bolds

to learn he's a grown ass man. Let him be out there and have lean days. Let him be out there and have days that are not so great. But mom is here. Make sure that you never starve. But you gotta go through the the ring of adulthood, just like the rest of us had to go through. And I cannot prevent that. And as a mom, that's my only kid, of course, you don't want them to be out here, struggling and floundering and having you want to help them, but it's like, nope, nope. I have to stop being a doula to things that I don't need to be a doula for.

Ravae Sinclair

Okay, so you've adjusted some of the ways that you're parenting an adult child and letting go kind of healing some of those

Denise Bolds

single, single adult, you know, that's a whole different thing. With the whole mantra being a single parent. It's like, oh, you feel, you know, this guilt. I gotta be both parents. You know, there's a whole other thing with that. So, yeah, I stepped back and said, Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I gotta put the oxygen mask on myself

Ravae Sinclair

first, yeah? But also, he's an adult, he's single, right? I think that that matters too. If you're right, if your child, adult child, is partnered and having a family, maybe that'll the way that you parent or worry or consider them would also change if they were partnered.

Denise Bolds

Yeah, exactly. And he's a great person, and he's coming into his own, and I'm really happy for him, because I want him to be able to have something good to bring to the relationship table for whatever person he chooses, to have a one on one serious relationship and build a family with. That's That's my goal. As a parent, every parent wants to see their kid safe with someone, so that when they pass, they know their kid is okay. So that is the goal. No problem with that. But, you know, I've just learned I'm not going to worry and stress over the things that I don't need to, because that is not helping Denise,

Ravae Sinclair

right? That's part of the cortisol, yeah, that's

Denise Bolds

part of the oxygen mask. Do I want to have this fight? Or do I want to pass this one by? Am I going to fight about this? And if I am, how am I going to do it and for how long

Ravae Sinclair

now? The other thing that you mentioned was adjusting your concern around bipoc vote and narrowing it in, like zeroing in on what black women need. And that part of that came out of a conversation, a little offline conversation you and I were having where I was saying one of my struggles with really moving my association forward, National Birth and postpartum professionals, is every time I start to do some organizing work around it, I am leading with this thought of like Being open and inclusive to everyone, and kind of really starting, like starting the work we're trying to meet a lot of people's needs like this, and it feels overwhelming. And so one of my comments was, like, an honest moment, like conversation, and I was like, I just want to take care of me.

Denise Bolds

Yep, you said that. It was like,

Ravae Sinclair

Yeah, I'm still in a phase where I'm recovering from burnout, right? I'm recovering from betrayal, right? I'm identifying what is healthy for this next phase of my life, and what's healthy is that I sleep and that I actually rest, which is a do nothing while I'm still awake, yeah, and that I find more balance with work and everything. But even as I take on new project, like I have the time I have, my energy is recovered. I've healed in a lot of ways, physically and emotionally. And even as I have the time I sit at my desk and get ready to do the work I'm blocked because I'm trying to think about everyone. And I said to you, I just want to think about me. I just because in this post pandemic phase of being a birth worker, we need different things. Like before the pandemic, there was a way that we all did the work,

Denise Bolds

and it was intense. It was Oh my god. And then during

Ravae Sinclair

the pandemic, we needed to do the work in a particular way,

Denise Bolds

oh yeah, survival mode.

Ravae Sinclair

And then we've been easing out of the pandemic. Although covid is running rampant right now, we are operating differently. We have a whole different group of birth workers in the working pool we are acclimated to online and in person. We're I think a lot of us are still transitioning. And now it's like, what are the needs that I can add, like, not only adequately meet what? What are the needs of birth workers that I can meet and like in a soaring way? And the truth is I gotta start with me. Just start with you, like the people that I know. I can see what we need. My identity is more so with seasoned birth workers, right? And black women, I know our struggle. I'm supporting us in the struggle, and I'm coming up with solutions for us, and I think I'm just going to stay there for a little while. I'm not being exclusive. So if you if some of the projects that we do resonate with folk who are not my demographic, I think that's great, but I'm gonna start with me. I think that's the most authentic place I can dwell, yeah, and if it resonates with other people, I think it'll be great. And I gave you some examples in that conversation, yeah, I said, you know, I'm looking at Savia. Savi just took care of herself, like,

Denise Bolds

very well, love

Ravae Sinclair

Denise Bolds

it's tough, you know, I lovingly call you quarterback. It's tough being the quarterback, because there's such expectations is people looking at you and, you know, there's this, yeah, huge mantle, you know, but I call you that because people really do look to you for leadership and and you didn't ask for that. That's just the way your personality is, and that's the way you think and people you know, not just myself. So many years ago, when I first met you with Donna, and we weren't even friends, but I saw the vision you were talking about. I'm sitting and I'm like, That makes perfect sense. I can go with that. I can I can back that way. She's like, Oh, yeah, let's do it. Let's do this with Donna. And then, you know, the the, you know, from pet to threat kind of thing started happening, and people started being intimidated and scared this black woman, oh, she's meanwhile, the changes were necessary, and their donors still using some of those changes today, even though they don't want to admit it. And they needed your future ones. They needed that community

Ravae Sinclair

doula program.

Denise Bolds

They needed it.

Ravae Sinclair

They do get it. I got it, and, you know, it's like, oh my god, we're gonna get it. It's gonna be great. So

Denise Bolds

there's a lot going on with that, but, you know, and what we're doing here now for ourselves is I'm coming into a new season. I'm coming into a new decade of my life. I'm coming into my 60s. You are also making that transition of coming out of your early and mid 40s. You are getting ready to be facing in a couple of years your 50s. That's a whole nother milestone for you, of of waking a little further up and to yourself and saying, Hey, how can we serve her? Vague. What's going on with me, you know, and, and what does that look like for you? So that's that is the ascension, that is the growth. And it happened for me this year, and I'm so glad it did. It happened starting in January. It happened all the way through Thailand. What a journey that was. But, um, yeah, this stuff has to happen for us, and I love to see when it does happen. And for for those doulas who it doesn't happen, you've got some work to do to get there. You gotta unload the baggage. You gotta break bad habits. You gotta be transparent with yourself,

Ravae Sinclair

yeah, and you need to it. It's gonna be so how it happened for me, I think how it happened for you was some really kind of tough experiences. You get knocked down, you're going to lose some friends, you're going to change your circle. You're going to have challenges within your family. Oh my god, you might break up. You might move across, stays state lines. You might lose everything and build it all back and lose it again and build it all back. You know, for me, you might gain a, you know, 100 pounds, and then try to work and figure out how to like, get the arms to like, be like, get be strong again. And I think I've been doing so much of the internal work, and I'm doing, you know, organizational head work, and that next layer that like, I feel like, God is like, you've been putting this off, but you have got to actually do this is to add in the physical Yes, I gotta start sweating. I gotta start moving, yes, and that's where another layer of transformation is gonna come. I definitely feel like it's weird. I feel like I'm coming back to myself, but I'm also a whole new person, exactly, exactly, it's wild. So, yeah, if y'all haven't gotten to this point, it's coming, the 40s are amazing. If y'all just hit them, it just, I think this is the kind of stuff that is happening with a lot of my friends, um, where we're just decide, first of all, you're not dealing with a lot of people's shit. You are deciding that you know you're having boundaries and setting some standards and deciding what you want your everyday life to look like and feel like. And that's why marriages are ending. Relationships are ending. You're like, I don't want to live in Florida. I know I didn't. I was like, This is crazy. I don't even want to be a part of Florida, like it's just different things, and it's just super multi layered, yeah, and it's freeing, it's affirming, it's necessary, and it's it's life. So if any of you all are kind of like in that space, it's good, congratulations. Welcome. And saying it,

Denise Bolds

you know your 40, your 40s, you're given the fire, and you're like, Okay, I got this. When you get to 50, you're like, Okay, now, what am I supposed to do with this fire? How do I how do I make this fire work for me? And you spend the whole 50s getting that under your belt, and then when you hit 60, you're like, oh, yeah, I know exactly how this fire is going to work for me. I'm going to do bup, bup, bup. I'm over here with this. I'm going to say no to that. I'm staying in my lane. I know when to step out. I know when to pull back in. There's such a level of self assuredness that you have because you worked for it. So that's why I'm sitting here. I'm like, Yeah, calm as a cucumber, yeah. Okay, no problem. People don't remember what happened with us with Donna. Oh, well, you want to go, you want to go and be exploited. Go right ahead. You want to go ahead and be pimped out. Go right ahead. Go right ahead, right.

Ravae Sinclair

You're absolutely right. And it doesn't matter if people remember. I feel like plenty remember. They want to act like they don't remember, but they remember but they remember. But I just think that some people have to have the experience for themselves.

Denise Bolds

Oh yeah, they got they got to get burnt themselves. It's the same thing with our history. You know, people don't remember all the things that we went through here. It's like, okay, no problem. You don't recall a whole lot of stuff, no problem. But when it happens to you, then you'll have the recall, then you'll have the epiphany. But until then, you know, I'm I'm all about solidarity. I'm all about sticking together and and doing things as a whole, you know, like today, August 5, this is our this is our Montgomery, Alabama. Okay, let's not forget that black people down there at that boat dock said enough is enough.

Ravae Sinclair

People forgot I was on social media. I didn't see anybody posting. And maybe it's just my people. My people probably ain't with it, but nobody really posted about it. I

Denise Bolds

posted. I got a couple posts I gotta put on Instagram next too. But, yeah, it's like, enough is enough. But, you know, the self care thing has to happen, and it is going to change your doula practice with your self care. It is going to change the type of clients that you attract. It is going to change your work style and how you work, and where you work, and why and the why. So I'm going through all of that. Because, you know, when I was going through all this, I'm like, oh gosh, I'm in a doctoral program. I'm not taking as many clients. Oh, my goodness, am I losing my practice? No, you're just evolving into something else, and that something else is going to be blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, Oh yeah, okay, and yes, I've had to let go of some dual clients because they're not a good fit. They're all about something, and they're not doing the work to prepare, but they want to put everything on me to come in as to do it with the magic wand. That's not how this works.

Ravae Sinclair

Yeah, this works. So I think that the more you come into yourself, the more easily you're able to identify the right fit, so that you can actually grow your business more, absolutely,

Denise Bolds

absolutely, absolutely. But you know, once again, and it all comes down to the last thing that we'll say here probably, is accountability. I had to take accountability when I went to my doctor's office and got my annual physical results and saw that horrific lab results that multi cormor bids I was a mess last year. And I looked and I said, That's not me. That's my mother. That's my dad, who died at 52 by the way, I can't do I can't that's not the lineage I want to have, that that they had. I want my I want to do better with my help. And I told my doctor, I'll be back. I will be back, and it's going to be better. And this the year later, he's looking at my results. He's like, You did it. You did I'm looking at a totally different person on this paper. You did it, Denise, and you're doing it through menopause. I don't know how you're doing it. He said. He says, I don't know how you got your a one C's down to a single digit. I don't know how you did that, but you did it. And 30 pounds lighter, yes, because I know I don't want the lifestyle my parents had that is not the legacy that I want to perpetuate. No, yeah, and

Ravae Sinclair

you did it. I remember the the doctor's visit and the results in your reaction. I was devastated. I was devastated. And you mentioned the, you know, your family history, and you were like, I'm not going to do it. And you literally challenged. You were like, I'm going to show her. I know you went to your different doctor a year later because, yeah, but I'm gonna show her that this ain't it. This is not it. And and then, like, that particular doctor I love that you kind of deviated from her because she wasn't actually encouraging you in the change. Oh, I know she really think you were going to do it, which, which is why I know you went back to your old doctor who actually cared. Yeah, yeah. And so we have to also do that. We have to make sure that when we're making these changes, we are partnering with people who demonstrate that they care, not just give lip service or who are supposed to care, but who are actually aiding you. You did it. You got on YouTube, and I know you're going to talk with people about how you did it, like a lot of the resources were free, fully available. They sure were. People were teaching and layering and linking you to other people who were teaching and layering and linking. And you were very consistent. And, girl, I watched it out. That's why I was like, Well, I will start, stop. I be like, ooh, child, I'm not ready for that. My I just couldn't take all of that on. But you were ready, and it's been great to watch. And, yeah, you've gotten the results that you know. Let's give it Okay, folding chair anniversary next year. Let me see what I'm going to compare my numbers. Let's see where we are. Okay, I am. I know we started first of all, y'all, this is the B roll, because we just were getting on. You don't see me eat. You don't see me jiggle my okay. So like, listen, we're just real around here. But, yeah, let's, uh, we'll do an arm test like we'll see where we are, yeah, so you got muscles, child, I don't know. I don't know if I'm going to Belize land next to you. I don't know. I might change my mind. I just

Denise Bolds

get a miracle suit. It makes you look

Ravae Sinclair

fantastic, swimming suit back I don't even know swimming suit can make a difference. I'm going to have to practice a lot of self love and a lot of

Denise Bolds

I'm single right now because the brushing, the red infrared light, the the vibration board, the casting the glucose, it's like, Ah,

Ravae Sinclair

yes, you got the vibrating plate. You got the you got the walking pad. But the

Denise Bolds

walking pad in the apart, oh God, all the stuff that I'm doing to get out of this body and get into the body that I want. And yeah, the intermittent fasting, the omad, the one meal a day. Oh

Ravae Sinclair

my gosh, yeah, yeah. So anyway, y'all heard her list that felt like a lot to me, and I was like, Listen, I'm still in here eating cookies. I am. I'm still in here looking at this peloton that's looking back at me that I have. I'm in here, girl. I got the little step climb. Remember? I got that? I'm, oh, you did get that? Okay, I just bought the five pound weights. I even picked up the two pound weights that came with the peloton. Like, oh, wow, oh yeah. But

Denise Bolds

it's, it's, and you got a track in your in your complex, and you got a swimming Oh,

Ravae Sinclair

girl looking right across the way. Yeah, I have, I have a pool. I can go swim, honey. So we gonna turn this thing around. We're gonna turn this thing around. But, yeah, the wellness piece is critical. But like I said, it was something triggered when I saw that photo of me, yes girl, all the photos in Houston, I was like, That

Denise Bolds

damn Facebook memory. I'm up here on my on my desktop, and I cook on Facebook, and here I am two years ago, sitting in my car with this big old moon face. I'm like, Oh,

Ravae Sinclair

that was us, and nobody even told us that. Like, nobody even mentioned it. Oh, that okay. And that's part of the lesson is you can be out here looking crazy and like on very unwell, but sometimes, as long as you're doing what other people want you to do, nobody will look out for your wellness like you. They will take all of your work, all your efforts. So yes, I was in a toxic environment that was happy that I was showing up. Yes, they wanted my work. They don't want me. That is true. That is true. There was not an embracing of like, you're not, well, I see you, you continue to gain weight, and I know people think it's taboo, but it's also very loving. You actually think you're somebody's friend, you're supposed to really, actually invest in them and their wellness, in their life. And so at any rate, those, yeah, photos and videos. Girl, the memories sometimes come back, and I'm letting it motivate me.

Denise Bolds

Yeah, good old Facebook.

Ravae Sinclair

It was my iPhone. Girl, it was a damn iPhone.

Denise Bolds

I was looking at my desktop like, oh, my god, that was me. That's what I look yeah. No,

Ravae Sinclair

I have not an acne

Denise Bolds

outbreak in like, a month since I've changed my life, my diet and everything, nothing. Yeah,

Ravae Sinclair

I know. Girl, we looking good. Hey,

Denise Bolds

thank you. I'm in bed by 10. I'm up between six and seven, I have a full day, and I literally have those boundaries. By 930 I'm like, Oh, time to wind down. It's time for me to shut things down and walk away from this desk and go to bed. And that's, it's a whole different thing.

Ravae Sinclair

I mean, work, life balance, honey. It's interesting. So anyway, let's okay. So we're going to, we're going to end here, because this is just a B roll. We were just like, popping on just, I think I was kind of got, like, a little bit more of our girlfriend, chaff flavor, right, right this time, not with the

Denise Bolds

press on nails, but with the lip gloss, because she's the queen of lipsticks and everything. I am not,

Ravae Sinclair

I know I have to. I was, yeah, I was looking, um, a little dried. I don't know you're looking

Denise Bolds

kind of cute there, the way the glasses match the shirt,

Ravae Sinclair

I know. I was like, Oh, should I put in my glasses if I did my mascara? Okay, so good. I like it. I'm trying to pull myself together. I'm single. Listen, Delta, you can't be out here.

Denise Bolds

If you're a delta, can't help yourself. I

Ravae Sinclair

can't be out here looking crazy. Okay, so this is just a little b roll. We're going to give y'all some really good content. We're back, and we're going to talk about where we've been for the last three months. So we'll see you all very soon in the next episode. We even forgot how to like intro and outro like, doula bat, okay, doula bat, y'all. We'll see y'all soon. Oh, okay, so the timing, I I forgot. We didn't do extended time. So, we, I think it's gonna cut off from what 45 minutes for you.