What if the life you’ve built—your strengths, your identity, even your success—is only half the story?
In this conversation, Cari sits with Henry Most to explore what happens after we’ve learned how to “be someone” in the world. The ways we adapt, achieve, and belong aren’t random—they’re shaped early, often in response to what was welcomed and what wasn’t. Over time, those adaptive strategies become who we think we are.
But eventually, something begins to shift.
Henry introduces a Jungian lens that maps this process: a first phase of becoming—building identity, learning how to function—and a second phase that asks something much harder. Not how to succeed, but how to return. How to meet the parts that were set aside. How to listen when the body starts speaking louder than the story.
Through his own experience, he shares what it feels like when that shift begins—not as clarity, but as collapse. A loss of self. A dismantling of certainty. And then, slowly, a different kind of knowing emerging. One that isn’t driven by performance or proving, but by something deeper, quieter, and more honest.
What becomes clear is that this work doesn’t require a dramatic turning point. It can begin in much smaller moments—in the pause, in the breath, in the willingness to feel what’s underneath the reaction.
The movement toward wholeness isn’t about becoming more.
It’s about reclaiming what was never lost—just left behind.
The Treasures in the Trash:
- The Two Halves of Becoming – Henry introduces a Jungian framework that separates identity-building from the deeper work of integration.
- How the Ego Gets Built – Early experiences shape what parts of us are welcomed and what gets pushed into the shadow.
- When the System Starts to Shake – Anxiety and internal tension emerge as suppressed parts begin pushing back into awareness.
- Collapse as a Turning Point – A personal loss of self becomes the doorway into deeper emotional and somatic exploration.
- Returning Through the Body – The path toward wholeness is revealed as a practice of pausing, feeling, and integrating what arises.
About the Guest:
Henry Most brings a unique blend of experience across psychotherapy, coaching, group facilitation, and data analytics. He is a Lecturer in Management and Leadership Coach at Stanford Graduate School of Business, where he also facilitates interpersonal dynamics (“T-group”) work, and has taught at the California Institute of Integral Studies.
After a successful career in market research and analytics, Henry shifted his focus toward self-exploration and human development, drawing from psychology, Buddhism, somatics, and group dynamics. He now works with individuals and teams to deepen self-awareness, strengthen connection, and support more effective leadership.
He holds a BA from Cornell University and a master’s in Marriage & Family Therapy from CIIS, and has trained in Stanford’s Interpersonal Dynamics Facilitator Training Program and Co-Active Coaching.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/henry-most-99783a4/
About Cari:
Cari Jacobs-Crovetto is an executive and leadership coach and the founder of Brave Directions, where she works with senior leaders and C-suite executives to strengthen interpersonal and team relationships, navigate conflict skillfully, and deepen self-awareness, influence, and confidence.
Before becoming a coach, Cari spent three decades in marketing and product leadership roles across Fortune 100 companies, media networks, consulting firms, and venture-backed startups. In 2019, she was named one of Forbes’ Top 50 Chief Marketing Officers.
Cari brings together decades of operating experience with more than 45 years of Buddhist meditation study and practice, integrating deep inner work with practical leadership development.
She facilitates the renowned Interpersonal Dynamics (“Touchy Feely”) course at Stanford Graduate School of Business where she also coaches grad school students, leads meditation classes and leadership workshops, and hosts the podcast Finding Treasures in the Trash.
Her mantra: Fierce Heart — where compassion meets bold, badass leadership.
https://www.bravedirections.com/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/carisf/
https://www.instagram.com/cari_jacobs_sf
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