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The problem with politeness
Episode 1456th June 2022 • Irresistible Communication • Dr. Michael Gerharz
00:00:00 00:02:35

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Why undeserved applause is harmful and why we need audiences to be honest

Read more thoughts on the art of communicating week-daily at https://michaelgerharz.com/blog

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Have you ever sat in a totally boring presentation, but

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ended up clapping your hands anyway?

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Clearly the applause wasn't well-deserved but you clapped anyway.

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But why did you do it?

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Out of peer pressure?

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Or was it pure relief that finally it's over?

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Was it politeness?

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Here's the thing.

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It may be polite, but the problem with undeserved applause is that the

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speaker doesn't get a chance to grow.

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She doesn't get to feel the consequences of a bad performance.

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She gave her speech, everyone clapped, everything's fine.

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But what if her real goal wasn't to get a good round of applause,

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but to change her audience's minds?

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She won't be able to verify that it worked.

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At least not easily.

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Was the customer's decision for or against the project based on the presentation?

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Was it her speech that led to more employees adopting the new work

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culture or was it something else?

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When direct feedback is missing, it's just hard to tell.

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For leaders, this is an even bigger problem.

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I mean, who wants to be the person to tell the leader how

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bad her presentation was, right?

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But on the other hand, how easy is it to praise her for her great presentation?

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If it's a bat one, we’d rather politely remain silent.

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But it's really not a helpful attitude.

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As a leader, you should encourage your team to provide honest feedback.

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As a group, you should agree to give honest feedback.

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As an audience member, by all means, be polite, but also help

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the speaker grow, especially if that's what she's looking for.

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And that's the crucial point here.

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As a speaker, you should be the driving force behind this.

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If you are looking to make change happen, then find out who honestly

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tells you whether your talk is actually great and seek out their feedback.

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Encourage your audience to be honest.

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And then grow from there, adapt and deliver a talk that changes the world.

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