Shownotes
People are being told they can manifest anything they want… but what if the real reason they stay stuck has nothing to do with mindset and everything to do with what their nervous system can actually hold?
In this powerful conversation, Jill sits down with nervous system guide and speaker Tiffany O'Hearn to explore how emotional patterns, triggers, trauma responses, and dysregulation shape our relationships, decisions, abundance, and sense of self.
Together they unpack:
✨ Why mindset work alone often doesn’t create lasting change
✨ How dysregulated nervous systems keep people repeating the same patterns
✨ The connection between triggers, fear, and emotional reactions
✨ Why manifestation fails when the body doesn’t feel safe holding what you desire
✨ How nervous system regulation impacts intuition, creativity, and self-trust
✨ The hidden cost of living in constant “doing” mode
✨ Simple ways to begin regulating your nervous system and reconnecting with yourself
This episode is a grounded, honest, and deeply thought-provoking conversation about healing from the inside out and learning how to stop surviving and start truly living.
Connect with Tifffany https://traumabroughtmehere.substack.com
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Transcripts
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: People are being told they can manifest anything they want, but what if the real reason they stay stuck has nothing to do with mindset, and everything to do with what their nervous system can actually hold? Today's conversation breaks down why so many people keep repeating the same emotional patterns, relationships, and reactions, even when they're doing all the right healing work.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Hi, and welcome to the You World Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life health transformational coaches, and spiritual entrepreneurs stepping up to be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coaches Alchemist, on a mission to empower coaches and entrepreneurs to amplify their voice, monetize their mission, and get visible. If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head over to Coachesalchemist.com and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: do your free client acquisition audit. It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out rather than you having to hunt them down. Today, we're chatting with Tiffany O'Hearn. Tiffany is a speaker, nervous system guide, helping people move from survival patterns into self-trust and embodied awareness. Through her work in nervous system regulation, emotional patterns, thought awareness, she helps individuals create lasting change by understanding what
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What's happening beneath the surface.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Not just in the mind, but in the body as well. Welcome to the show, Tiffany. It's great to have you with us.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Thank you so much for having me, Jill, and I just want to just say, as a member of your community, that your community is all that, and a bag of chips.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: for my growth.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm so glad.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm so glad that you're part of it. You're… I think you were the founding member, honestly.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I mean, where's my trophy? I'll take it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Okay, I'll have to keep that in mind.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'll put it on the cover.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, there you go.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So, what's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals we can do to make an impact on how the world is going beyond giving you the trophy?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: True. So aside from the trophy, the biggest impact that we can make as human beings, and I literally just talked about this on my Substack Live today, it is to work on yourself, to work on your own nervous system.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: There's so many polarizing things that all this is set to do is take us away from ourselves. And the more distant we come from ourselves.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: The further we remove ourselves from our intuition, our creativity, our ability to actually manifest what we want.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, the biggest… The biggest thing that you can do for the world right now?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Just focus inward.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. You know, we grew up hearing, don't be selfish, don't focus on yourself. Well.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That's just dumb advice. Because if you can't fix you, how can you possibly be…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: relevant or helpful to anybody else. All you're gonna do is keep repeating patterns.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's so true, and there's so much truth in that, because the reality is, is that we learned from our… we have this belief system, right? And beliefs, to me, are something that's never been challenged by our awareness or consciousness, right? And so, where do our beliefs come from? Well, mostly they come from our parents.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And our parents weren't teaching us
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Or showing us how to regulate their nervous system. They weren't showing us how to do the inner work, because nobody showed them.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, they are just recreating the same thing that if we don't conscious, with conscious intention, you know, stop and change within ourselves, then we continue to operate from those same loops.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we teach it to our children.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And they teach it to theirs, and on and on it goes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And we talk about it in terms of trauma, you know, we all go through all of this trauma, but it's really just patterns. Patterns of behavior and responses.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, you know, and I love that you say that, because, Jill, as I see it, we have created you, me, and to those listening, this might…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: This might be a little loud for you, and I trust that that's your ego speaking to you, but if we can all sit with this one simple truth, that is, you have created everything in your life as it stands right in this moment. You have created it all, all of your trauma, but all the joy.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? We have created it all. And to me, I get super excited when I say that, because if I have created it unconsciously and unaware.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: What can happen when I am aware and conscious? Everything shifts around you. I have been… you've known me, right? I've done astrology, I've done all sorts of energy healing. I have been on this journey my entire life, more rapidly since my divorce about 8 years ago.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Nothing has moved me faster than this nervous system work in the last couple months. Nothing.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Nothing, because it's all within me, and it's all within you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. I love the name of your Substack, publication, it's Trauma Brought Me Here. And…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you can take it in a lot of different ways, and I'm… I'm really in sync with you when you talk about… I… I'm… I am owning my trauma. I… I actually think we ask for this trauma before we come, and it's… it's what…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's what we put in… in our order for before we…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Got bored, and all of the details around it
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: cook us. It's like the recipe to get us to be where we are, doing the thing we're supposed to do here.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because we're all connected, and we all have, like, pieces of the puzzle, and if we don't have that… that forming part of it right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Then we're not going to be the puzzle piece we need to be to fit in with the rest of the puzzle pieces that are all here, trying to figure out what shape they're supposed to be so they can fit together.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right, and our… our trauma, our wounds, it doesn't matter what you call them, they are real, yes.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And they are not yours to carry, right? And so what happens is we, as humans, I stand on my pile of SHIT, can I say that?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Sure.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Okay, so I stand on my pile of shit. Jill, you're standing on your pile of shit, and I'm flinging my trauma at yours, even though it's masquerading as my belief system.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And then you're just taking your pile, and you're flinging it back at me, because we're both dysregulated. So what happens when we're dysregulated? There's an absence of connection, there's an absence of love.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because we are so bound and determined to hold on to this victimhood mentality.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And it… it may not feel like it's a choice, but it certainly… Absolutely is.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's a choice.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, and once you realize that it is a choice, there's so much freedom.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because you can change your mind, you can decide to think about things differently.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: when… when triggers happen, and triggers happen all the time. I mean, even to people that, like, they're aware that
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think this is gonna trigger me. Like, we were talking about the medical community this morning. Medical community really triggers me a lot.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And… But it's… it… it doesn't impact me Really. I just…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I can… I can look at it, and I can say, yep, it triggers me, and I have some beliefs and thoughts around it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But I can use it to help me get what I want out of the system.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Or I can just be mad about it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And have a temper tantrum, and never… never get what I want, just be mad.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right, right. And that's, you know, a lot of, I think, the discord and strife comes from this ability, you know, the medical community, our political system, religion. We're holding on to these beliefs, and what are beliefs? They are nothing more than opinions.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? And you have your set of opinions, and I have mine. Mine are true for me, yours are true for you. But where do I get the right to tell you your opinions or not?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? I don't know how you've been raised or what you've gone through. I mean, think about your partners, right? How long have you been married? And you still learn about them.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, for me, we can talk about traumas all day long, and it's one of those buzzwords now, it's like abundance, and manifestation, and trauma, and we just hold it, and think that, like, no, excuse me, I'm… I'm manifesting right now.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You're… you are. You are completely manifesting, but it is not what you want. And that's the reality of it. And so… so for us, the work begins in the body, and this is one of the biggest things that I share all the time, is this is not an intellectual problem. You can read thousands of books about it, right? You are going to be triggered.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And here's the beauty of a trigger, is there is a mirror there for you. And if you can reflect from the mirror, it will show you all of your wounds. It will show you where it is that you have to heal.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And I can tell you, with unwavering certainty, there are 3 groups of people that will trigger the absolute
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: ever-loving shit out of you. Potentially four. One of them is your parents.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: The second is your partner.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: The third, children if you have them.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: In the fourth of the strangers you meet.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? They…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Pretty much everybody.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, it really is, right? But, like, if we really look at that, because everyone is sent to be a messenger towards us. They are a gift, and they are showing us something. And then we can have really beautiful conversations like you and I have, right? And why is that?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Well, it's because we are showing up with a regulated nervous system. I'm not trying to change your mind, you're not trying to change mine. We're having an open dialogue.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: with love and intention, and that changes everything. And so we have to work on these triggers. I just… I'll finish recording it on Monday, but I have a Let It Go workshop.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because if you can't let that shit go.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It will continue to create your life.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And when we talk about a nervous system that's regulated versus dysregulated, you know, this is more of a spiritual-type space, right?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But we get that spiritual toxicity.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You know, and I'm pretty sure, Jill, you know what I'm talking about, right? And…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It is not about me not being spiritual and not being guided, or not being uplifted, but I can promise you, if you're coming from a dysregulated nervous system, you can call it your guide, you can call it your intuition, but I'm telling you, it's false.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because it is your ego that is speaking louder, because you're dysregulated. If we're not regulated, we don't have access to our intuition, our creativity, the love within us. It comes from fear.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so we're making fear-based decisions and calling it intuition.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And it's not.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's not. You never need to defend your intuition, because it comes from a knowing, right? And when you're regulated… I just had a friend come up to me yesterday morning telling me about, you know, this, this, this,
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: incident with a friend, and she's like, but I feel bad that I made her feel bad. I said, you did not make that person feel bad. Well, I lit the fire. I said, the fire was already there. I said, this sounds more like a you problem. While it is a her problem.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: See what it's showing you. Because this is also a you problem. You don't need to save their marriage. You didn't do anything to start it.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Let it go. Well, that's hard. Exactly. I get it. It is hard to let it go.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But when we can sit in the feelings, because, again, Jill, who taught us to sit in feelings?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: No one.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Mostly you're told, ignore your feelings, stop crying, suck it up.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? It's not real, it's not as bad as you think it is. Put your tears away, right?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: So we've become professional repressors and suppressors. And I get it, right? Like, you brought up the medical community, right? You might be advocating for somebody in there, and you need to suppress your trigger in that moment, but it's not a lifelong journey. It's a, let me get to the parking lot and feel my feelings.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And that's what this is about, and this is the work that
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: that comes through me, because I've made the space. I didn't invent this.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? I didn't invent nervous system regulation.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But I have allowed enough space within myself for it to come through, and for others to… the intention is to hear something within there, and recognize
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That everything that you're searching for is within.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: all the control. And this is what we talk about, dysregulated nervous system, one of the number one signs
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because people like to talk about this too, their OCD. The number one sign that you're dysregulated is your need to control other people and things.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: A pen should not dysregulate you. If it does, you are already dysregulated.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I think a lot of these other labels that people apply to themselves.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Might also fall into this, that…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'll just say the ADHD thing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm not gonna say that there aren't people who are… Technically, diagnostically.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: in that category. But I think there are a lot of people that use it as an excuse.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: To not take control of their own nervous system.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and responsibility for the decisions that they need to make in their life. And if you have a dysregulated nervous system, it's really hard to make decisions, because you don't know where your foundation is. It's always, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't know, this may make me…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: have this feeling in my body, and it… a lot of it is a feeling that you get in your body
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But your brain is disconnected from your body, and it's not…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: The signals aren't getting through, and they're getting all tangled up, and so if they do get through.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And so you're… you're not sure about making decisions, or you start things, and then you're like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You get in that frozen zone where you don't know
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Where to go next, because you're… again, fear comes in, and it's like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just… it's such a hard place to exist in, which is why, if somebody can come along and say, here are some steps to regulate all of that, and to sit with it, and, you know.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We're, like, gotta be on the go, gotta get all the stuff done kind of people, but… We're beings!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: By definition, being means to exist.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: not doings. We're not human doings out there. Always on the go. Always on the go.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's fear, though. That's also fear. That also is stemming from dysregulated nervous systems telling you who to be and what to be, you know? Instead of really understanding that, that you are a being, and you do not need to do, most of us are chasing.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: We're chasing our life instead of actually being in it.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, you know, when it comes to a regulated nervous system, that is my priority. It does not mean that I don't get dysregulated. Oh, for sure, I do. But it's what I do with it that matters the most. And when it comes to these, you know, coaches and books and things like that.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You know? Like, The Secret. The secret is a perfect example of it. It's a beautiful book, right? It's been around, people have talked about it, and the secret is…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You know, you can have whatever you want.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But what they're not saying is, you cannot have something that you want based on the fact that you want it, if you cannot hold it, because the mind is slower than the body.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, you can talk… I can be talking to a Fortune 500, you know, whatever, in a boardroom, and they can say, no, I understand how the amygdala works, and I'm like, great, I don't.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I don't care about the prefrontal cortex. I don't care about that, because it's gonna happen in the body first. And if you're looking for the science behind it, that is ego, that is fear.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? Instead of just being in your body and feeling what it feels like.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: To be triggered. Oh, that's what that feels like.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: oh, okay, I don't have to call it ADHD anymore. I don't have to call it anxiety, because
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: all of it exists in our body as an alarm system, right? And it hasn't been an alarm system until it is. It's like menopause nowadays. Oh, you're in your 40s, menopause this, menopause that, and I refuse to have a negative conversation about menopause.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We love menopause. It's the best experience ever.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And everyone… you, it's not!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Right? Yeah.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Embrace it! It's happening. So how can you be sound, mind, body, and soul, as you transition to this other beautiful chapter in your life, right? And so many of us just live in this toxic culture because we're coming from a dysregulated nervous system.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, you know, it doesn't matter if you're a coach, what are you selling? If you're not authentic with it, you're not going to sell it.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? And maybe you make some money off of it, but eventually it will implode, because you will.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because you're not… you're not allowing your body to be the guide. You're thinking your mind is the one. And… and it's like our thoughts.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Do you know every thought isn't your own? Right? Have we ever actually stopped to think about where our thoughts come from?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And we've created the life based on the thoughts we've attached to. That's it. Period. Simple as that. So if you think your husband's an asshole.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: He is, based on the fact that you've created it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you never… you never reap in the same season you sow. This is… this is a truism that most people miss. It's like, okay, today I'm gonna start having only positive thoughts, and… and then 3 days later, they're like, this doesn't work. Well, you know, it takes a minute for things to grow.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You're still reaping the thoughts you had 3 months ago.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right. This is, you know, and as I like to say it too, it's not about
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's about being 1% better, and this is a part of this analogy I use in the workshop that, the nervous system workshop that I have. And it's, you know, Jill, it's like you saying, okay, I want to plant a garden. And I say, okay, Jill, I have the perfect spot for you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And I take you out to this garden, and it's… it's beautiful, right? You're envisioning it. But what you didn't notice at first was it's a pile of rocks. And I said, there's your garden. You said, wait, there's rocks. I said, yeah.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Now go sit in the wrongs. And every time you don't react, You take one rock out.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Let them be. They're just showing you something. And so, your husband comes home later, and he leaves his shoe on the floor, and you really can't stand that, and he's doing it to you, and you go, no.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's just John being John. It's okay, that's a message for me, and then we take one rock and we put it in the bucket, and then maybe later, somebody messages you something a little polarizing about the medical community, or whatever it is, and you say, no, I'm good, I'm not going to react to this, and now we take two, because it compounds.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, if you… every time you don't react, you remove a rock from this garden, you have only created this beautiful space within yourself.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And you practice it more fully and more wholly, because it becomes…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: part of our reticular activating system. It becomes part of that. This morning, I went running with my wife.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And she said something to me, and I used to withhold information. Like, I'm being real, like, I would just withhold information, just because it pisses me off that you're asking me.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's so silly and nonsensical. She said something, I felt it in my chest, and I answered anyways, and then I laughed. Because that's not me anymore. Do you know what I mean? And guess what? We have the most beautiful relationship, not because she changed, because I did.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can change most relationships. I would say all relationships, but it does take two people in a relationship.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to want to have the relationship. But you can do things for yourself.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that make the experience better for the other person. You know, you talk about the shoe being on the floor, I… she's just like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You… you can look at that shoe as, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're doing this to me again! They always, and they never, which is not true. Nothing is always or never.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's just something that happened. It's an experience. Just have the experience.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And do whatever you're gonna do with the shoe. You don't have to assign labels to it, or make it mean anything. It's just a shoe.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And that's, I think, where most strife in relationships, and it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic at best. I often make jokes about the ego, because, follow me here, it is messed up. It is… its pure job is to keep you safe. But what nobody told your ego is?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's not safe.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's not actual safety! So John comes home, he leaves his shoes. Let's say he's not home. Let's say he left them before he even left the house. You come home first, and you're like, this mother, I cannot wait for him to get home. He comes in the door, he's had a great day. Oh, I'm so happy to see you, and you're like.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Where'd you put your shoes? And how do we think he's gonna respond? With the flowers? No, he's like, those are my shoes, right? So again, we're standing on both of our piles of crap, and we're just flinging it at each other. There's no connection in any of that.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, whatever you want in your life.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You can create from a regulated nervous system. We all seek control, but there is only one thing we have control over. And don't you dare say your husband or your children or your pets, because it's not true. We only have control over us.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Can I… do I have to react in this? Even that tiny little space.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You only need, like, one second to make a different decision.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Just one, and it takes practice. It's that garden of rocks, right? And if you don't react this one time, now you can continue to have that beautiful day you plan to have with your spouse.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? Now your children are opening up to you, because you're not coming in with your own bag of opinions and beliefs, trying to change them, because you're unwilling to see you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A lot of those are your thoughts. Yep. It's what you're thinking about
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: about the situation. It's not actually the situation. And if you can get control of your thoughts, if you think about what you're thinking about while you're thinking about it, which sounds silly, but how many times do you tune in to what's going on in your head and realize the conversation is not very productive?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you just…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: mentioned that, hey, brain, this conversation is not very productive. I think we're going to talk about something else.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And change the conversation.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I mean, I've actually done that to my brain.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It'll be, like… And then on all of this, and they did that, and it's just like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: This is a conversation that will never happen.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's not productive for me to be thinking about it, so we're not going to be thinking about it. Find something else to entertain yourself with.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, and something that I practice that has been so profound is actually when I'm thinking something that really just doesn't feel like it's me, right? Because
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: we are the blue sky, right? That is the IM of who we are, right? I'm not Tiffany, you're not Jill, we're so much more than that.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, a cloud passes by as a thought.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And if we don't do anything to it, and just allow it to pass by, we don't attach to it, you know, we say some pretty ugly things in our head that we would never say out loud. And in some other, you know, it's almost like you can, with some practice.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You can practice literally just dropping the thought for 5 seconds, 3 seconds at best, where you just sit in that stillness. And if you can learn to drop the thought.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: then when something comes through that doesn't feel like you, you can just drop it. There's no conversation needed, right? And when we can sit in that awareness, it's like.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You know, just looking outside and seeing leaves dance. That takes your attention out of the mind. You have thus stopped that thought. And we do have the power for it. A racing mind is a sign of a dysregulated nervous system.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And that's why breathing is so important. You know, I joke around every workshop I start, I'm like, are you breathing? Because I always start with breathing.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, you are breathing, right. So you have something on your person in this very moment that can help calm you. And how many of us are actually utilizing it?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because the other side of that is, your breath can also continue to stress you out. When we have a rapid breath breathing from our mouth.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: We're putting ourselves in a deeper stress response. There's a reason why we have this stress response, because we need to be able to run away from lions. But I don't know about you, but I am not in the savannah, and I have never been chased by a lion.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, my mom calling me on the phone, That's a me problem.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It feels like a lion.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: If it feels like a lion is chasing me down the savannah, right? That is not a mom problem.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? It is… they're all these little gifts, and I think that they are beautiful, and I've hoped that I've expressed that in such a way that it is a gift.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: For you to see, hey, this is something else that I have unhealed in me. Like I said, I've done energy healing, I've done so much energy healing on myself, but me being able to sit with my own wounds and my traumas and my ego.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And let it be, and not repress the feelings, and just allow it, and then just give it away.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Nothing has changed me faster. And I'm not even joking. It happens. It is so real.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, I… Totally… can validate what you're saying. I… I,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm gonna struggle with her name. But she, she does the, URNF.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Do you know who I'm talking about?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I can't remember her name.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But anyway, just… just recognizing and allowing yourself to believe that you are enough.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It goes a long ways towards making you feel like
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you don't have to solve all the world problems. You don't have to be any specific way. And I think part of dysregulation happens when we're trying to force ourselves to conform to something that we
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We… it isn't us.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And then it comes from this dysregulated place. So we cannot access our intuition. There's a number one reason why you cannot trust yourself, is because you make decisions.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: big decisions based on a dysregulated nervous system. You start relationships, you end relationships, right? When we're making decisions based on a dysregulated nervous system.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's the life that we've created, is from dysregulation. So you look at your life, and Jill, right now, there's… there's a… there's a uptick of… of, I'd say, between 38 and, like, 63, where these women, like you and I, are waking up and saying, what the what?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Why doesn't life make sense? I have the husband they told me to get. I have the children they told me to have. I have the job they told me to get, and my life feels like a bag of crap. Like, yes, yeah, it has all the things, and I have my crystals in my pocket to ward off all the negativity.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But it's all within you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? We've just been sold… we bought something based on a dysregulated nervous system that has been perpetuated.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: None of that is real. It is all in the being. If you want to have more abundant relationships, love yourself first.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: If you want to have the body you desire, Love your body now.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Love your mind now. Love what you do now. Because we try to keep chasing all of these things and then collapsing in it, because we can't hold it.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You know? If I said to you, Jill, yeah, you… I'm gonna show you how to make a million dollars, I'm gonna tell you, your number one question should be, have you made a million dollars? Because you shouldn't listen to people that haven't done the thing, right?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And I say to you, Jill, I'm gonna spend 2 hours with you right now, and you're so jazzed up, right? You're so jazzed up, you know, you go to your husband, and you're like.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I'm gonna make us a million dollars, and he laughs at you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And then you get mad.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: How dare he not believe that you can make a million dollars? And then you sit there going.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, that is stupid.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: How would I ever make a million dollars? What would I do with a million dollars? And you talk yourself immediately out of it, because it was never yours to hold.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It was never yours to hold. It comes from a… you can't hold a million dollars in your nervous system because you're so dysregulated. Can you even hold a compliment, let alone a million dollars?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're very true statements, and… We… we often…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: take a number, and numbers do not actually exist. They represent things, and people forget that, which is why they struggle with math, is because
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Numbers don't exist in a vacuum.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We like to put them in a vacuum, but they don't exist there. So, when you talk about something like a million dollars.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A million dollars doesn't mean anything.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: it doesn't mean anything, because money doesn't actually exist. All that exists are the experience that is attached, and everyone attaches a different experience to it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: like… My dad has a million dollars, and
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you would never know it. I mean, he lives the way he lives, he's happy-go-lucky, he's very generous, and he…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: He just has this experience.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I know other people who have millions of dollars, and they… they live their life… they're just people, and they're living their life, and they have problems, and they have good things that are going on.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it doesn' It doesn't make them any different.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: No.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: who has no money. I just, like…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But people…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: who are… Very poor, financially.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It doesn't matter.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It really doesn't matter. And the best way for us, outside, you know, first you have to regulate your nervous system, and the second thing you do from a regulated nervous system is let go of the attachment to it. Because if we ask, okay, if I say, Jill, why do you want a million dollars?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Oh, because it's going to buy me a horse, or it's gonna buy me all of these things, and I'll have comfort and security and all of these things, right? I say, okay.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Why? And if I just keep asking you why, you're gonna whittle down to the fact that it's probably just some worthy issue. It's just a… it's a fear within you that will tell you, once I have that million dollars, I'm good enough. So, if you want… what is that feeling that a million dollars will get you? Is it joy?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Well, then… then that's what you hold in your heart, and you let go of how it comes to you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because it is never about what you desire. There's something within you
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And then you let it go. I was just talking to someone the other day about death, right? And for me, it is funny that we live in a world that the number one thing that man fears is the only thing we know to be true.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It is the only part of life That we know
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: is true, and we fear the crap out of it. And they said, well, it's the people, you know, that I've left behind. And I said, but you're…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Sure, gone.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yes, but I could have hurt them, and it's like, that's not a reason to live.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? That doesn't come from the wholeness, that doesn't come from a regulated nervous system. It doesn't come from the fact that
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: If we've read, and there's thousands of texts, ancient texts, that really allow us to see that this is not the end nor the beginning.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But this is a journey.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? And so I know, with unshakable certainty, that the people in my life that I love
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I will see you again.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: the people that I haven't made right with in this life, I will see again! Right? And so, I don't need to defend that.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: to somebody else.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? But why do we fear death? That's such a funny thing to me. It is a fear. And if we just keep asking ourselves why, you will get to the root cause of it. But it has to come from…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: your ability to silence the ego that wants you to tap… that, if you're listening right now, that you're like, she's so stupid, what is she talking about, right? Like, and it's funny to me, because I always say, if you're feeling resistance.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's your ego, it's not really you. It's just… I'm just bumping up against something in you that you fear.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? But what is the fear?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Get to the root of that, and whatever problem you're experiencing, it will dissolve, because you felt it. You have felt it, and that is real. And that is something you can hold.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Not the million dollars.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you can hold it right now.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right. Not crypto. Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Does one of those funny things.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It comes, and it goes.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, exactly, but that's the way that it's meant to be, you know? And we just resist the things that are already existing, right? Allow the universe.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: to universe. And this is how I live my life. Whatever I'm doing is the exact right thing for me in that moment. And if something feels hard, I regulate my nervous system, and I remind myself with all the love in my heart that it is for my highest and best interest, and I
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Trust that. The same thing with my daughter. My daughter's going through some stuff.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I can't solve it, I can't fix it for her, but I can remind myself
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That whatever she's going through is her highest growth, and therefore, it is mine as well, you know? And we have the choice to do that, and it comes with trust, that whatever… if you're listening to this, there's something here for you. It is not a mistake that you're listening to it. You didn't accidentally fall upon it.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right? Something led you here.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Something led you and I together.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you talk about this a lot in your sub-stack?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: publication, and you… you go live a lot. I do.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, it is live. And you share…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A lot of insight into regulating your nervous system, and you also bring in other bits and pieces of
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: astrology, and… the other woo sciences out there, and they are sciences. There's… there's a lot of… data.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That can be gathered from…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the tools that we share with people about regulating your nervous system. And I think a part of it starts with knowing who you are.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to begin with. And we give ourselves all of these signals before we come.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Right. Like, little messages from beyond.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Like, the day we're born. It's not an accident you were born on that day. You picked that day as a message to yourself later.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Right, and your name, and all of that. And, you know, Jill, I started going live, and I'll tell you why. I started going live on Substack because my ego was waiting for somebody to tell me, hey, Tiffany, you can be a speaker.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Do you remember when you wanted to be on Saturday Live when you were a kid? Just wait, they'll invite you. Like, no, they're not inviting me. So if I want to be a speaker, I need to speak. Okay, great.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Why I do it is because this work, I want it to be as accessible as it possibly can, and I trust that you might hear that one thing that could change the rest of your life.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And I… it's really… it's the same…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's the same, what am I trying to say? It's the same, you know, sun, with just different planets orbiting around it. And I don't do it for a long… it's 20 to 30 minutes, and I… and I do it as much as I can.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: This is so important, and this is what we need in our life right now. Not me, not me, that's not what I'm saying, right? But you can take, you know, politics is such a huge example, and I talked about it today, and it probably will piss some people off.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But stop fighting the politics. Work on yourself, because it is only an opinion that you have.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And your need to defend it comes from dysregulation. There's something there for you. And so you can take any aspect of your life.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And I can, with so much love.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: if you can just reflect it back to you, not that I have to do it, right? It's not me.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: But you have the autonomy, you have the authorship. And I'm sorry, but I have done so much in this spiritual community.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: In terms of the work, and the crystals, and all of that is very helpful, and it's accoutrements. But if we can't live in the body, no crystal will save you. No Reiki will save you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: No numerology is going to save you or change your life. It is just information. It starts in the body.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: In the body.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's energy. We are all energetic beings, and until you can get control of the energy that is you.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: your world is always going to be chaotic. You're gonna not be in control, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: and not control in, like, the white-knuckled sort of control. Control in that you can have an experience, and just let it be the experience it's going to be, without having to push it in a certain direction.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And if you can get into that space, which I think is what your workshop is about, helping people get into that space.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And… And practice it. It is a practice.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: you're not gonna just, like, tomorrow, suddenly, we're in that space all the time. You go in and you pop out, and you go in and you pop out, and then you spend a little more time in there, and then you pop out.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And, you know, more and more time is spent in the being.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Part of existence, rather than in the pushing it to be a certain way part of existence.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yeah, you know, and like I say, like, the workshop, and I've created a lot of things, and they haven't really sold, and I know the reason is, because it wasn't… it wasn't true for me, and I haven't practiced it, which is why I changed my name to the Embodied Alchemist, because I will not share a thing that I have not done or worked on within myself.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And it… you were going to react, right? I haven't experienced my life yet, so I'm still going to react. I'm not immune from reaction because I have…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Awareness. It's still gonna happen, but how quickly can I come back to my true north?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's the work right there.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Does it take 3 seconds?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Does it take a minute? Because I'll tell you that sometimes my ego throws a little tantrum, and I'll let it for, like, 5 seconds as I laugh, because at the start of the fight, I'm like, you already know this isn't… it's a fruitless, you know what I mean? So fine, take up your space, you can have 5 seconds, ego, and then we're gonna get back to non-reaction.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And so, really, the workshop is how to create that pause, that space within you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And you have created your life based on your self-concept, so everything you believe about yourself, so if Jill, if all of a sudden you can't… hey, listen, Tiffany, I just can't stand the drama in my life anymore. I'm like, cool.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: So you're saying you have… you have a lot of drama within, you're like, no, that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying this to everybody else. And I'm like, yeah, no, but that's really what it is, right? We have all of our triggers, we say them all of the time.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Every time you project something outside of yourself, that's a little sticky note. Pop that right on your forehead and go look in the mirror.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's you. In all of your problems, what is the common denominator?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And I don't even like math. I don't even know what a common denominator is, except for you, right? You are the one. In all of your relationships, you still are the one that shows up. So when do we start focusing on the you, and not the them?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It makes all of the them problems.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: So much more navigable.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It's just them. It's how they feel, it's their own beliefs, and it has nothing to do with you. You do not need to solve them or fix them.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: You just… Let them.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It doesn't matter what they think of you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Yo.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It only matters what you think of you. And if it is bothering you, it is a you problem. It is a mirror. There's… it's showing you something. And when you can see that, all the love in the world can come through you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It truly can. You know, I wake up with intention in the morning, and I send my family love, and then I send my town love, and then I send the state love, and then I send the world love. Like, literally, I go through all of this.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because… I want to be a loving being.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: If I'm a loving being, people are loving right back to me, because we are Law of Attraction.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's where the Law of Attraction exists.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: How much space do I have for it? Because if I am chaotic and dysregulated.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Everyone I come in contact to will mirror that for me.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I want to be loved.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Well, I don't want to be loved, but I want to give love.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And thus, people let me go in traffic. All of the time. They wave and smile, right?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's a real thing.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It is a real thing. Then…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's just such a better space to live in.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's more enjoyable.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yes. To live your life that way.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It is, and you know what's really funny? I'll just share this real quick, is along my journey, I find people that are closest to me.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: They think that something's wrong with me.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And I just send them love, because you can have that too, and it's just triggering something within you. I am triggering something within you, unintentionally, right? And I'm not gonna show them the mirror, that is not my job. But it makes me smile where it used to make me fold before.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: And now I just smile and send them love, because there's something that they don't know, and that's okay, that's their journey, it's not my job. But no, I'm not messed up.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I am working actively on myself daily.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: That's it?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: There's a lot of magic in it. So, how can people find you?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: they can find me, namely on Substack. That is where I, like I said, I go live there. As a matter of fact, Jill, the coach's alchemist, I don't know if you know her, but she taught me how to use Substack, and so that's my Substack, trauma brought me here. But I've also shared my lives in a podcast setting, just so that you can consume it as you see fit. Sometimes the phone being on, maybe you don't want to see
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: see me, whatever.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: you know, you can also, you know, have the content that way. I post all across my social medias. Again, my name is The Embodied Alchemist.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Because there's not something that I will share that I have not done, and that is from my heart to yours. And so you can find me in all of those places. My workshop, which is The Reset, it's from response… from reaction to Response, and it actually gives you
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: tools.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It is not just a workshop to listen to, it is something to really embrace within you.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: I also created a meditation to go along with that, as well as a frequency track, because sometimes we really need help to regulate our nervous system, and it's 432, I had it curated, so I know it's real. And it's for $47. And so…
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Honestly, what do you have to lose?
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Just some old beliefs, maybe?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I love it.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: So why not? Try it on. And that's what I say on everything I do. It is an invitation to try it on, because if you just listen without trying it on.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: It becomes just noise. And so, try it on. Everything we said here is an invitation to try it on.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Love that. Thank you so much for joining me today, Tiffany. This has been great.
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::Tiffany O'Hearn: Thank you so much for having me. I enjoy you so much.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Feel the same way about you, girlfriend.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: You can learn more about Tiffany and subscribe to her Substack at traumabroughtmehair.substack.com, and we'll be sure and put those links in the description below. You can also find her workshop on her substack.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Thanks for joining us today. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to thecoachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: audit. Join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise a global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world. Start today and get busy.
