Negative self-talk can be a significant barrier to building confidence and self-acceptance. This episode delves into the nature of this inner critic, exploring its various forms such as all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, catastrophizing, and personalization. Annie Souza emphasizes that understanding and recognizing these negative patterns is the first step towards fostering self-compassion and shifting our mindset. Listeners are encouraged to track their negative thoughts, identify triggers, and reframe those thoughts into positive affirmations. By practicing self-kindness and challenging their inner critic, individuals can reclaim their confidence and embrace personal growth, ultimately realizing that progress is more important than perfection.

Negative self-talk is a pervasive issue that can significantly undermine our confidence and mental health. The host, Annie Souza, delves into the nuances of this inner critic that many face, identifying it as a barrier to self-acceptance and growth. The episode discusses four common types of negative self-talk: all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, catastrophizing, and personalization. These patterns not only distort our self-image but can also lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression. Annie emphasizes the importance of recognizing these thought patterns, as awareness is the first step toward change. With practical tips, she encourages listeners to track their negative thoughts and identify triggers, fostering a deeper understanding of the origins of their inner critic.

Additionally, Annie suggests methods to counteract negative self-talk, such as naming the inner critic to create distance and using reframing techniques to promote self-compassion. For example, transforming a thought like 'I will never get it right' into 'I am learning and improving every day' can shift one's mindset positively. This episode not only highlights the detrimental effects of negative self-talk but also offers a roadmap toward building self-confidence through compassion and positive affirmations. The discussion culminates with an invitation for listeners to share their experiences with overcoming negative self-talk, reinforcing the community aspect of personal growth.

Takeaways:

• Negative self talk can significantly diminish your confidence and hinder personal growth.
• Identifying triggers for negative thoughts is a crucial first step towards self-compassion.
• Reframing negative thoughts into positive affirmations can help shift your mindset.
• Naming your inner critic makes it easier to separate those thoughts from your true self.
• Journaling your negative thoughts and analyzing them promotes awareness and understanding of their origins.
• Daily affirmations can help rewire your brain to think positively and build confidence.

Welcome back to unmask your mind, where we break down mental health topics to help you live a life of self acceptance and growth.

I'm your host, Annie Souza.

If you're someone who's tired of that nagging inner voice that says you're not good enough, or if you're juggling work, relationships, family, and self improvement and wondering when you ever feel enough, you're in the right place.

Today, we're diving into one of the biggest barriers to confidence, negative self talk.

Let's be honest.

We all have that little voice inside that can sound more like a critic than a cheerleader.

It's the voice that tells us we're just not smart enough, thin enough, or successful enough.

And it keeps us stuck in this endless loop.

But here's the thing, guys.

You don't have to live at the mercy of that inner critic.

In today's episode, we'll break down what negative self talk really is, where it comes from, and most importantly, how to start shifting those thoughts towards self compassion and confidence.

So grab your favorite drink, whether it's latte, chai, or mud water, and let's get started on silencing those thoughts, holding you back.

So let's start defining what is that negative self talk.

That negative self talk is that inner dialogue that runs on autopilot, feeding you messages about how you're not measuring up.

It's subtle and sneaky, and often it feels like the truth because it's been there for so long.

It's been practicing, and it's become very good at it.

However, you can learn how to stop it.

There are four types.

Four common types of negative self talk.

The all or nothing thinking.

If I don't succeed perfectly, I failed entirely.

The overgeneralization.

I always mess things up.

The catastrophizing.

If I make one mistake, everything will fall apart.

And lastly, the personalization.

It's my fault that things didn't go right.

Does this sound familiar to anyone out there?

Do you resonate?

Have you ever found yourself saying, I can't believe I was so awkward in that meeting.

Now everyone must think I'm an idiot.

Now that's the inner critic at work, jumping to conclusions and feeding your insecurities, working hard to make you feel bad.

So how does this negative self talk affects your mental health and your confidence?

Well, for instance, when that inner critic goes unchecked, it increases your stress, your anxiety.

It can cause depression.

It can cause immune system issues.

It can make you feel stuck.

It helps you doubt your abilities, losing motivation to pursue your goals.

It wears you down.

It chips at you.

Which brings me back to another important thing.

It drains your confidence each time you allow that negative self thought to take the wheel.

It does take away and shifts at your confidence, which in turn means that it can keep you playing small, meaning you avoid taking risks, staying in your comfort zone, and missing important opportunities to grow.

So think about this, guys.

If that inner critic is taking the wheel, telling you things that you are not supposed to be doing because something bad is going to happen, so, for instance, you are always messing things up, right?

So then you're not going to take a risk at work.

You're remaining small, and then you're remaining in your comfort zone.

Meanwhile, little Suzy or Jake, of course not little Susie because you're at work.

But Jake and Suzy or Suzanne are going to take the risk.

They're going to get a promotion.

And meanwhile, you're staying in your comfort zone.

Everybody's growing and you're not growing.

So you're missing opportunities to grow because it's draining that confidence in you, stopping you from growing.

And lastly, the cultural and societal pressures as millennial women, many of us have grown up with the message that we have to do it all.

Career, family, self care, everything perfectly.

And if we fall short of those impossible standards, oh, my goodness, the inner critic gets louder and louder and impossible.

Unbearable.

So if.

Danny, what do we do?

Well, let's start spotting this negative self talk.

Let's see the patterns.

I'm going to give you two tips.

I'm going to give you two ways to help you guys out.

Let's start by tracking those thoughts.

Start by noticing when negative thoughts show up.

Keep a journal.

You can keep a journal.

Write on a notepad, pen, paper.

Or if you're more like techie and you want to use an app, there are notes apps out there that you can use to write down those recurring thoughts.

Awareness, guys, is the first step to change.

Then identify the triggers.

Go over those negative thoughts that you wrote down.

And when you go over those, when you see those thoughts show up the most, that is you're going to track down.

When is it happening?

Is it during stressful situations after a mistake?

Is it when someone that you know popped up?

Is it because you're having visit overdose social situations?

Or is it when you're comparing yourself to others on social media?

Is it because you're meeting someone, a date?

What is triggering it?

I'm going to give you an example of this.

So here's a simple exercise.

Take a moment right now and think about the last time you criticize yourself, write down the thought.

Take your time.

You can pause the podcast now.

Are you back?

Ask yourself what triggered it again.

Take your time, guys.

You can pause the podcast.

Understanding where these thoughts come from help you, and it's going to help all of us get ahead of them.

So when you identify the thought and you start thinking about where it came from, it's going to help you to understand and get ahead of them.

So let's try shifting those negative thoughts to, to self compassion.

So, for instance, give that voice a silly name.

And guys, I get it.

That sounds like Annie.

What are you talking about?

I'm going to tell you what I'm talking about.

You take the power away.

It's not scary when it's silly.

So, like, let's say negative Nancy or judge Judy.

Come on.

Are you going to be scared of someone called somebody that you name negative Nancy so you can mentally separate it from your true self?

Oh, there goes negative Nancy again, saying, I'll never get it right.

Listen, when I was diagnosed with ADHD, I started separating my brain from ADHD, and I started taking the power away.

I started understanding it better.

I started seeing that it's separated from my true self.

It's not about me that's in that way.

So that's the whole point of naming your inner critic.

You're going to give it a voice so you can mentally separate it from your true self.

There goes negative Nancy again, saying, I'll never get it.

Right after that, reframe that negative thought.

So, for example, here's a I'll never be good at this, so let's reframe that.

I'm learning and improving every day.

Ah, I made a mistake again.

But that's how I'm going to learn from the next time.

You reframe it and you empower yourself, practice self compassion.

And guys, this one is amazing.

I want to tell you why.

Imagine you'd say to a friend who's feeling the same way you are, the same thing you're saying to yourself, right?

I'm guessing the moment that I said that to you, you're thinking, I would never say that to a friend.

So then that's what I'm saying.

Would you tell them that they're a failure or would you encourage them?

Try to speak to yourself with the same love and kindness that you would to a friend.

And guys, daily affirmations.

And I know a lot of people think daily affirmations are nothing, but I'm going to tell you something.

Try writing down three affirmations, guys.

Give me three, three affirmations to say to yourself each morning something like, I am capable, I am worthy, or I trust myself to grow and learn.

I'm going to tell you why.

The more you practice this, the quieter the inner critic becomes.

Why?

Because the moment that you start writing the affirmations, you start wiring your brain to think in a positive way, and you start acting in the way that affirmation is.

You start believing it, and your behavior starts shifting.

And that's the importance of the affirmations.

So you're going to build that confidence one step at a time.

Confidence is not about doing huge things all the time.

It's about showing up, even when it's hard, because each step counts.

So let go of that perfectionism.

Remember, growth is messy, and that's okay.

Listen, right now I'm doing this podcast.

I use my phone.

I use the iPad.

I'm sure that all of these inventions, the iPhone, the iPad, were done after a lot of disappointing failures from the creators.

They had to have failures in order for us to be able to enjoy what the iPhone is now, Android, whatever device you have.

So remember, growth is messy, and that's okay, because perfection isn't the goal.

Progress is.

So write this down wherever you want to.

Growth is messy.

Perfection isn't the goal.

Progress is.

I'm going to tell you a personal experience of mine.

When I had to launch my first project with unmask your mind, I felt paralyzed by fear.

What if people didn't like it?

This has been a scary thing for me, but I reminded myself that taking imperfect action was better than not trying at all.

And you know what?

It wasn't perfect, but it was exactly what it needed to be.

So remember, what are we going to do?

Catch the critic.

Notice when negative thoughts pop up?

Challenge the thought.

Ask yourself if it's really true.

Compassion over criticism.

Speak to yourself kindly, like you would to a friend.

And the affirmation practice.

You guys start your day with a positive statement about yourself.

Now, if you've ever battled with negative self talk and found ways to overcome it, I would love to hear your story.

So please send me a DM.

You can reach me at annietnmask yourmind.com or on Instagram at unmask yourmind, and we'll share your experiences on a future episode.

Confidence is in the absence of doubt is the courage to move forward despite the doubts.

And every time you replace a negative thought with a kind one, you're building that confidence.

So remember your thoughts don't define you, your actions do, and showing off for yourself is the most powerful action you can take.

So this week, try journaling on negative thoughts each day and reframing it.

It's a small practice that can make a big difference.

And next time, we're going to be tackling perfectionism.

How to break free from it and embrace growth.

Overdose flawlessness.

You don't want to miss it.

Thank you guys so much for joining me on this episode of unmask your mind.

If you enjoyed it, please subscribe, rate, and share it with someone who could use a little extra confidence.

Until next time, remember, you've got everything you need inside you.

You just have to unmask it.