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How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Business Growth | Ep.50
Episode 5011th May 2023 • Diaries of a 6 figure Coach • Theresa Lambert
00:00:00 00:26:49

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Deep down, when you're really honest, humble, and transparent, I feel like we can all admit and agree that we have a natural tendency to come up with really, really good excuses to self-sabotage our business growth…

I want to have this conversation with you, because I have it with my clients and I have it with myself, plus I hear the excuses out there a lot. And those are all excuses that lead entrepreneurs to NOT take the actions they need to take to create business momentum.

A lot of these excuses are backed by specific marketing messaging, and or are created by our innate need to rush, to look for answers outside of us, to almost in a way sometimes put ourselves on a pedestal and say “Well, I don't have to do that because of that. Because it doesn't feel aligned.”

And it ain’t always a true story, so let’s talk about it…

T xx

PS: Desire additional support to help you scale your business to six figures and beyond? CLICK HERE for a free business audit to get clear on the bottlenecks that are stopping you from scaling and get 3 recommendations on how you can achieve your business goals.


About the Host:

Theresa Lambert is a Business Strategist + Coach with an impressive hotelier background in luxury Hospitality in the #1 Ski Resort in North America. She creates unique success plans and provides strategic guidance to female entrepreneurs so they can SCALE to 6-figures and beyond while having the FREEDOM TO PLAY.

In 2020 Theresa became the Bestselling Author of her book  Achieve with Grace: A guide to elegance and effectiveness in intense workplaces. She is also a Speaker, the Podcast host of Diaries of a Six Figure Coach Podcast and co-host of Dissecting Success.

Theresa has been recognized as a business leader in Whistler’s Profiles of Excellence, and is being featured in publications such as Hotelier Magazine, Thrive Global and Authority Magazine.

Diaries of a six figure Coach isn’t only a Podcast to help you get strategic and master the precision of Success.  It’s a declaration to share the truth. It’s a commitment to keep going to make it happen, no matter what. It’s an activation and invitation for female Coaches and Entrepreneurs to play a bigger Game. Tune into short, potent and value packed episodes that are fun, raw, real, vulnerable and authentic af on what it takes to build a six figure coaching business online. It’s going to MOVE you. It’s going to ACTIVATE you. It’s going to help you access your audacity, courage and start taking the intentional actions to make your biz dreams come true while living the life you desire and making an impact online.


https://www.theresalambertcoaching.com

Instagram: @theresalambertcoaching

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Transcripts

Theresa Lambert:

I believe in divine timing. I believe that the right people information, wisdom, guidance, heck things arrive when we're ready for them. I believe that owning our own truth unconditionally is the path to not only creative fulfillment, but more about success and abundance. This is not only a podcast to help you get strategic and mastered a position of success. It's a declaration to share the truth. It's a commitment to keep going to make it happen no matter what. It's an activation and invitation for me for you and for us to play a bigger game. So my question for you is this. Do you really want it? Do you really want to make your dreams come true? Do you really want to become a six figure coach? Welcome to the diaries of a six figure coach podcast, I am your host, Theresa Lambert, and I dare you to get ready to show up, boss up and make it happen.

Theresa Lambert:

Deep down, deep down when you're really honest, and humble, and transparent. I feel like we can all admit and I agree that do we have a natural tendency to come up with really, really good excuses, to self sabotage our business growth, to self sabotage our business growth. And I want to have this conversation with you today. Because one, I have this a lot of my clients. So I really believe it's relevant, I have it a lot of myself. And I hear the excuses out there a lot. And those are all excuses, that leads entrepreneurs to not take the action. And they're excuses that have been created through specific marketing messaging, that have been created for our inmate drive to have to rush to look for answers outside of us. And to almost in a way sometimes put ourselves on a pedestal, but we're like, oh, I don't have to do that. Because of this or because of that, or because it doesn't feel aligned. That's the juice I want to talk about today. Because I feel like you know, I talk about strategy a lot. And I'm going to bring strategy into this. I'm going to bring strategy into this. Because when we embrace the strategy when we embrace the systems when we embrace the processes, when we allow this masculine energy to hold us really beautifully. To extend excuses, don't have space to surface so much anymore. And consequently, we are taking the aligned actions that need to happen in order for us to be able to build our businesses to six or multi six figures day and enable us to show up consistently, they allow us to share our message with more ease the structure, this energy gives us such beautiful ability to be in the present to be in the now to be really grounded and rooted and at peace. That creativity gets to flow that inspiration gets to come in, that's showing up becomes more natural, even the selling pot and I spoke about that in last week's episode. But we have to learn to create the awareness around what the excuses are because those excuses are all a little bit different. And as I have been bringing beautiful souls and to talk about human design, we have another great great amazing amazing guests coming on human design and talking about alignment and talking about what's resonates. I wanted to bring this conversation to you I want to have this conversation with you because I believe it's really important. So in my human design I'm a free five manifesting generator and I'm going to use the money general generators as an example for a moment because it's the biggest group of us and I have a lot of money Jen generator clients and moves very fast. And what happens a lot is that we innately bio design we move fast. We're kind of like the welcome bees to the energy force. Like we have a lot of energy we have a lot of AI Do we have a lot of creative drive, we have a lot of those things naturally. And so we tend to move a million miles an hour. And we tend to skip a lot of steps along the way, a lot of skip steps along the way. And the thing is, in some ways, it's really fun and exciting and exhilarating. And we can become these program creation machines. And say, this week, I'm doing that and next week, I'm doing this and next month, I'm doing that and like, even like jumping from what you're offering, from being a business coach to being an alignment coach to being a health coach to being missed, or being that like, if we're looking in the coaching world. We're having 500 business ideas on the go. But there's a couple of challenges that come in with that. And when it comes to business, and ultimately, all of us want to build these sustainable, successful scalable businesses is that unless you've already got a very, very established brand, a very established audience, an audience that trusts knows and likes you, if you've not already built a lot of clout, then when you're constantly putting out new programs and talking to new people and doing new things, all the time, your audience doesn't actually have an opportunity to catch up with you. And you're always going to be finding yourself in this like, Oh, my God, nobody's buying, I gotta come up with something else, I gotta come up with something else. So we self sabotage our way into thinking that we got to create something new. And that because we are designed to move fast, and we've been designed to skip steps, and we're designed to to have multiple things on the go, that somehow we're not capable of actually staying focused in one direction. And so I want you to stop noticing when you do that in your business, because again, it's not actually what you want. I'm a manifesting generator to, I am very clear on what I do, you can still land on a main message and then have multiple things in that category that you teach or do. But I am here to help you scale your business with strategic ease in feminine flow. I am here to help you strategize. I am here to help you get the foundation's right, I am here to make sure your business is scalable. I am here to make sure that while you scale and while you grow, and while you get your message out there and while you do all the things that you're ambitious about in business, you'll also ambitious about your life, you also have time to play, you also have time to put your feet up or go for coffee in the middle of the day, or take an extra day off or take a freaking week off. If you want to like I am here to help you scale in a way that does not mean you have to sacrifice your personal time to do it. And if you want to work more, that's entirely up to you. But it has meant for me to simplify it has meant for me to learn how to actually use my human design as my strength and to stop making excuses to let myself follow behavior that in business while I am building while I'm creating Foundation, while I'm working on continuously growing, building and nurturing a community and building a hot audience online. I am not getting distracted by that excuse and self sabotaging my way of growing and it's gotten in the way many times. And this process for me was painful at times. And I did it in 2022. When I was dismantling my life and my business, I did it kicking and screaming and bless my coach at the time who held the space for me to kick and scream through all of it for the simplifications, who really was very honest with me about what he saw was not working in my business. And I did not want to hear it. But he was right because the other thing was just kind of behavior. The other thing was moving at this pace is that sometimes we can feel like would be superheroes. And whether you are a manifesting generator or not. I feel like as women, sometimes we have fallen through this like movement of empowerment and this idea that we have to be incredible at everything that we have to get it faster, do it faster, do more do it better like and be in this constant movement of doing which is actually like very disempowered. But it has gotten us to this place where when we're not working at this pace, or we can't keep up with the own pace that we're setting. We're beating ourselves up that we're not enough and we're getting this cycle where we really don't have the energetic capacity physically to show up for all the things that we say we're going to show up cool.

Theresa Lambert:

So again, we're sabotaging our ability to grow our business, because we can't even keep up with the pace that was setting for ourselves, because we're not honoring our boundaries because we're not staying focused because we're constantly using the stories that we've created as an excuse to say yes to something else to do more people pleasing to drop our boundary to, to add another thing on our calendar. Because we're so afraid to slow down. So where in your business right now, are you rushing? Where are you feeling like you have to move fast? Where are you looking at something related to human design, and you're using it as an excuse to not do something. Alignment is a really interesting thing. Because something not feeling aligned. You may not actually be able to know if it's aligned or not until you've given it a shot. Because pretty much everything that you do for the first time will feel uncomfortable. I'm going to give you a different example. Okay? When you use an example of something you might be like, That is a taboo example, let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex. painty, let's talk about you. I'm bringing this in. Who of you believes that having incredible sex is totally in alignment for you and your life? Think about this. Think about this? Who have you felt super comfortable and excited? For your first time? Were you confident? Do you know you're gonna like it? Were you going in and be like fine, it's happening, I don't know, was a level of discomfort there, there was a level of vulnerability that opened up there was a level of sharing yourself with someone in a way that's so close and so intimate. There was a level of discomfort or was a level of feeling uncomfortable, even dough, we knew or we felt this innate, knowing at least, that this could be something incredibly pleasurable and enriching and our life. And we may not all feel like that maybe some of you still feel uncomfortable. We're not like putting everyone in a box here. But I wanted to use this example. Because I feel like as human beings, we can all relate to that. And maybe there was things that you like and things that you don't, some things are an alignment and some things that don't. Not everything is for everybody. But until you try or you open yourself up to it, do you feel into it, and you'll really explore it with some more curiosity, you don't really know. And so you may make excuses. Who comparing sex and business. I'm feeling live today. But this is the thing with excuses. We look for something in real life that feels uncomfortable. And right away. Often we say oh, it's not aligned. So I want you to start noticing when behavior like that comes in over you're making excuses. Another one is blaming, like your programs or offerings for not being good enough when they're not selling. And then being always behind the scenes working on something. This is a behavior that I see in excuses that come in, well, we're constantly working behind the scenes on improving things. And there's nothing wrong with improving and refining. But the thing is, it may not be the problem. Your program may not be the problem, your service might not be the problem, your sales page might not be the problem. The problem might be that you're not talking consistently about what you're selling. But because nobody joined, you're blaming what you were selling, instead of actually sitting down and calling yourself out on your own BS and saying, Hey, did I show up every day? Did I make powerful invitations? Did I follow through on that launch? Did I follow up with the people I said that I was going to follow up with? Am I having a process in place? Or am I just trying something different every day and hope one thing will work? Right, it's easy to pick one thing and attach to it. Again, we do this as human being external blaming is like a response we all innately have. So you've got to create the awareness start to notice. What are the habits and things that you're doing in your business that might not feel comfortable for you because they're new. But when you follow through with them consistently, they do actually create results. Start creating awareness when you're making an excuse for doing something that you said you were going to do, because you are afraid that people will judge you or reject you or not like you or say you're salesy, or or think you're weirdo. We are in a vulnerable position as online entrepreneur, as you are putting yourself out there. As a service based entrepreneur, you are selling your services, you're selling your ideas, you're selling yourself, you're selling your perspectives, you're selling your viewpoints, and you've got to stand behind what you are offering behind what you're doing. Regardless of what anyone else thinks. That's vulnerable, it requires leadership, and it requires you to show up for the things. Sometimes it's gonna feel uncomfortable. And consequently, again, we're making the excuses. We're making the excuses. We do one launch, nobody signs up and our excuses, we won't do it again. Because it didn't work for us. They didn't really not work for us, like look deeper, what are the excuses that are coming up? Another really big one. This is a good one is constantly telling yourself that you have to learn something else before you're able to earn money before you're able to welcome clients before you're able to make it work before you're able to be a better coach before you're able to insert whatever you want to do. This is when we're falling in the habit of always learning, learning, learning, learning, learning, you know, there comes a point in business where you've learned enough. And what you really got to do is implement and integrate it. This is why joining masterminds and having one to one support is so key, rather than just taking another program and a program and a program because a mentor or coach can actually say to you, you know what, spending three hours a day learning more about this particular topic, when you don't even want to use it as a tool to grow your business isn't going to help you get more business. You choose telling yourself that by learning more constantly, you're able to have more come in. But this is not the case. This is you projecting lack on the fact that you feel or think that you don't do enough or know enough to be able to make progress. And by doing that you're stopping yourself from actually taking the action that you know can move the needle forward, your artificial making yourself busy. So maybe you've learned enough. I know I was in that. And I got to the point where I'm like, I'm gonna have to make some change here. I'm gonna have to focus on integrating and implementing and taking the action and following through and chop wood and carry water every single day. And yes, I still have mentorship. Yes, I'm supported. But currently, I'm not taking more programs. Because I'm in this phase of integration and implementation and action. Because I stopped saying, it's not going to work unless I know more. Because I was making excuses. And I kept sabotaging my ability to grow and scale my business. And oftentimes, I used things like my human design or, or if it didn't feel aligned as an excuse, and now I know to really check in, have I done this before? Can I give this a real try and then say,

Theresa Lambert:

Does it feel good or not? So there's different ways in which we can find this out and do things but it always comes back to awareness. It always comes back to awareness. We've got to learn to follow through on some things. And sometimes yeah, there's going to be things you're going to have to do in your business every day that you might not enjoy or that feel uncomfortable. And guess what, until you're able to afford to bring in a team member to take that off your plate, you're probably gonna have to show up for it. Accounting might be one of those things. Lead Generation and engagement might be one of those things. Social media, writing content might be one of those things. Those things that you may need to do if you're not in a position to bring in an expert to help you with it, that are uncomfortable, but that are really key and moving the needle forward. And this is where I'm coming back to implementing this masculine structure, creating a plan, having a strategy and saying, here's how I'm going to do this. These are the processes I'm committed to that I'm following. Here's how I'm going to make my life easier. So I can show up every day to make powerful invitation. I'm going to stop making excuses. And I'm going to start taking the actions and show up. So instead of wasting my time and energy, thinking about what I gotta do, or what else I need to run, in order for it to work, I'm gonna say, here's what I'm gonna do. And I'm committed to doing it every day consistently, until it works. Until it works. And through that process, and through what I'm learning for myself, and through the self reflection. And for all of that, I'm going to get to really learn what's in alignment with me what feels good, what doesn't work, and make tweaks and refinements. And hey, if you can, I highly recommend you get yourself some support. You join a mastermind or you get a coach or you get mentorship, where you get some personalized support to help you figure it out. And that will cut down your learning curve. But stop the excuses. Don't take every thought that comes up for face value right away. Question it, is that really true? Is it really true that you're not growing as fast as you want? That's a big one too, because oftentimes, we forget how far we've come. So multiple ways in which we can sabotage our business growth. But they all come back to excuses. And those excuses are rooted in stories, stories that either come from your lived experience from society, and, or from set messaging that we've been hearing, including the you know, you don't have to take action, you can just like, be in full alignment, and just do all the things that feel good. And the thing is, yeah, you're gonna get to do all the things that feel good. But they require you to figure out what the things are, that feel good. And they require you to take action, and they require you to show up, and they require you to mess up. So your willingness to do all that is key. Your ability to catch yourself, when you're in a self sabotaging cycle of looking for excuses will help you make more progress, the quicker you realize by yourself sabotage or when the quicker you realize what rabbit holes you go down, the quicker you're able to have the awareness and the clarity to take a different action that leads you towards where you want to go, which is creating the results that you actually want to create. So if you want to create quantum leaps in your business, it's gonna require a lot of little steps. But most importantly, it will require for you to stop with the excuses to stop noticing them. So you can stop the constant self sabotage that's happening, to putting yourself out there for one week, and then hiding when you saw crickets, it's going to take time, effort and dedication for this business that you want to build to actually come to fruition. So stay with it. Notice it, be compassionate, have patience, stop rushing, make sure you have things in place to help hold you and guide you and move you forward. That is how you're ultimately going to get there. Along with the strategy that holds. That's how it's gonna feel fun and flowy and light and aligned. But you got to learn to detect excuses. You got to learn what you're getting in your own way. This is a wrap. I can't wait to hear how this resonated with you. If there's something that came up and you're like, oh my god, like you were just speaking to me. And I'm not doing the things and I have all the excuses. Send me a DM at Theresa Lambert coaching reach out. If you're ready to figure out why your business isn't growing the way you want and you're stuck and you want some support. Reach out and submit there's a link in in the show notes. You can do a business audit and I'll help figure out where your three main biggest bottlenecks are right now and what you can do about it to help you grow and scale. Those are my eyes on your business. Apply for it. I'll be in touch and we'll have a conversation. Okay, Get out of your own way. Stop making excuses and stop taking the actions that you know will ultimately help you move you forward. And remember, everything that you do for the first time will likely feel uncomfortable to a degree. But you might end up loving it, you might end up loving it, even if initially, you might be like skilled, exciting, but also a little bit scary. Think about it. I love you. And I'm so excited to be back for another episode next week with another fabulous guest and we are almost at the one year episode. Holy moly. I'll talk to you soon. Take care.

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