There was this popular video from the Daily Show where Desi talks about how she’s trying to understand the male experience better by acting like a man: getting paid more for no reason, interrupting people more, mansplaining, and gaslighting via invalidating the other person’s feelings and telling them to calm down & don’t act crazy. And while it is funny, it’s taking on a serious topic – misogyny. In today’s episode, I have a special guest who is doing ground-breaking work on the topic of a VERY specific type of domestic abuse. She has named this Betrayal Violence. And we’re going to dig into not only what misogyny is, but unapologetically talk about internalized misogyny.   

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Bio: My guest today is Hope Ray, of the Betrayal Violence Institute (website)

Story Time: Sarah and Hope discuss the difference between misogyny, chauvinism and sexism, and get curious about how misogyny and internalize misogyny show up - and, most importantly, how we can unknowingly perpetuate it.

• Chauvinism: the unreasonable belief in the superiority or dominance of one's own group or people, who are seen as strong and virtuous, while others are considered weak, unworthy, or inferior.
• Sexism: the belief that the members of one sex are less intelligent, able, skilful, etc. than the members of the other sex, especially that women are less able than men Internalized misogyny is a subconscious way of degrading yourself and other women based on sexist ideas of how women should act, dress or speak. Women who experience internalized misogyny may minimize the value of women, mistrust women, and believe gender bias in favor of men. It also causes women to shame, doubt, and undervalue themselves and others of their gender.

Top Take-Aways: (5-10 min)

• How to respond when we are witnessing/having misogyny directed at us - “Zero tolerance” – don’t ignore, explain away, make concession. ***Don’t have to be confrontative – boundaries for yourself (remove yourself from the situation, have a safe place prepped, etc.)
• Know when to leave.
• Internalized misogyny: try to recognize if we are perpetuating these belief systems.
• What can we do to help change things? Get involved: advocate, lift up/support other women, join a cause, march, etc.
• Recognize privilege/comparison/gender roles, etc.
• Get curious about how you view yourself, women, your values concerning women and gender roles, etc.        

If you'd like to connect with us, you can follow me on Instagram, Fackebook, and TikTok. You can also follow Hope Ray on Instagram, Fackebook, and TikTok.

And remember – you may have crashed and burned; been broke and hurt, but damn it, You’re a phoenix and you’re rising again. I think it’s time we fly.