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In this episode, I'm joined by Sinead Sharkey Steenson to discuss how men can support women during perimenopause and menopause in the workplace (and at home). 

We delve into the importance of involving men in these conversations, offering them tools and insights to better understand and support their female colleagues. 

Sinead also shares her experience leading men-only sessions to help demystify menopause and encourage supportive interactions. Additionally, the episode provides resources for further learning, including books, podcasts, and organizations committed to addressing menopause in a constructive manner.

[00:00]  Why men need to join the menopause conversation with Sinead Sharkey-Steenson

[01:17] The Importance of Men in Menopause Conversations

[02:08] Men's Role in Supporting Women

[04:37] Men-Only Sessions: Creating a Safe Space

[07:39] Resources for Men to Learn More

All of the resources mentioned in this episode are available on our website.

In my first conversation with Sinead Sharkey Steenson, we talked

about work stress for women who are experiencing perimenopause or menopause.

We had such a great response to that episode that I asked her back

to focus on how men, the other half of our workforce, can support women

going through this very tricky and very natural time while at work.

Now, I didn't say it in the episode because I don't often talk about it

at work, but when I was experiencing the height of my symptoms, both I

and my husband both thought I was suffering from early onset dementia.

And I felt that my brain power was so depleted.

I worried if I'd be able to carry on my business.

So many women leave the workforce due to misunderstood symptoms.

So I'm hoping conversations like these, where Sinead also makes recommendations on

actions and resources, I'm really hoping these conversations will ease some of the

unnecessary mental turmoil for others.

Let's dive in.

In our last conversation, Sinead, we discussed the impacts of

perimenopause and menopause in terms of workplace stress for women.

Today, I'd love to dive into the other half of the workforce

and how they can support women.

Why do we need the perimenopause/menopause conversation to be happening

in the workplace with men?

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson: We don't work on our own, is the simple answer.

And this affects everybody.

I did a TED talk on menopause, and the first thing I said is you may think

this isn't for you, but it affects you.

And that's the reality.

Just like men's mental health affects women, and we need to be part of

the conversation, and supporting men in that, or any of these issues.

Men need to be part of it because a lot of men want to be supportive.

We women often don't understand what's going on ourselves.

totally.

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson: How on earth are they going to understand what's going on?

And so what we see, whether it's at home or in the workplace is

that they're on the receiving end of some of the pointier bits.

So maybe the anger, the the frustration or just helplessly watching terrible moods.

And they can be a support.

They can help us.

And obviously, if we want workplaces to work effectively, we all

need to worked together on it.

So for men to understand what's going on, be able to maybe spot it, but not say it.

Uh,

Okay.

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson: Cause no woman wants to be told, do you think

you, do you think it's menopausal?

But to be able to understand that there are other things driving unusual behavior.

So they may see.

You're suddenly forgetting things or you're anxious or you're

angry or you're frustrated.

And then when we have awareness, understanding, knowledge, we can be more

understanding, we can be supportive, we cannot just dismiss somebody as,

oh my goodness, she's lost the plot do we need her here anymore, they can

actually say, hold on a minute, is there something going on that maybe I can help.

It's going to help the business, it's going to help the team, it's going

to help individuals, and then the ripple effect of that is if you, if

your workplace is engaging in these conversations, it's going to help at home.

And of course, we bring our whole selves to work.

So if a man is experiencing this from the partner, their

mother, their sister, a friend.

You know, They're able to be better at home.

And my husband, my brothers have been amazing supports for me through

menopause cause I've thoroughly educated them on what's going on.

What to do and what not to do.

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson: therefore they are now taking responsibility for helping

and not being part of the problem!

Lovely.

Now, one of the things that drew me to you particularly is that you lead men only

sessions in the workplace to open up this conversation across the entire workforce.

I'm curious, what do you discuss in these sessions?

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson: we do it because we have a woman only session always so

the women can speak freely and openly.

And I thought, why don't we have a men only one as well?

Because it's such an uncomfortable thing.

So first of all, it's okay, how do we start talking about this?

And how can we do it without fear?

The opening gambit is you cannot see the wrong thing in this room,

but you can leave the room knowing how not to say the wrong thing.

Brilliant!

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson: So it's let's just get it all out on the table.

What are you seeing?

What are you experiencing?

And it's really, I hope that their perspective of it, because they might

be seeing their partner losing memory.

I'm thinking has my partner got dementia?

Like I told my husband, I had early onset dementia for ages before

I realized what was going on.

And he was buying into that.

And.

actually had one of us known a bit more about it, then maybe we

could have identified what the problem was a little bit sooner.

And we get it all on the table.

We talk about what you might see, what the symptoms are.

And of course we talk about what's their role in being an ally and

being a supporter, how to have conversations without feeling stressed

about it, feeling like I'm only going to say the wrong thing here.

And so if you've said all those things in a room where we've all been able

to have a good laugh about it and then go, maybe you don't say it like that,

but here's a better way you can say it.

We talk about, case studies or what they might see, what they may

experience, what women are going through.

They get to hear the real story without their own people in their

organization feeling they have to open up and be vulnerable because

that's an unfair position to put women in as well because the risk is

bias and the risk is being seen to be no longer as effective as you were.

I can do all of those things for women so that then they walk away with tools,

they walk away with how to have the conversations, options of what we as an

organization can do to help and then we bring everybody together and then work

on how are we working on this together?

So it's a really powerful, fun, crazy session

Brilliant.

So beyond tuning into our first session, which is in the previous episode, this

week, where can men who want to understand more about this perimenopause menopause

work stress that only half the working population experience, where can they

go to find out and understand more?

Sinead Sharkey-Steenson: so they can follow me on LinkedIn

is a great place and reach out.

If you want to have a conversation about this.

I have resources and I'll share a link to those, but I will happily talk to you.

I think there needs to be a balance between, you need to read resources or

watch or whatever your preferred source is from women to explain their experience.

Now there is a lot of good research that says men listen to men more easily

and they take on board what they say, so I do have some suggestions there.

Look at your Davina McCalls and, listen to your podcast with

Gabby Logan and people like that.

It may feel like it's not for you, but actually it will, oh my goodness,

it will teach you so much and give you a new language, a new experience.

There's lots of places like the British Menopause Society that

can give you resources, the NHS, or, your health service in your

country, wherever you're listening.

I also think, obviously, listening to men.

So Gary Neville, a famous footballer, and their manager has spoken out

about menopause and his things he did wrong when dealing with his

wife went through menopause at 30.

And he references it in his book and you can hear him talking on interviews.

And then there's male allies like the likes of Lee Chambers, who's on

LinkedIn is a great one to follow.

He will really get you thinking about how to approach this and seeing it

from a male supportive position.

And so those things are really good, but go and get a good menopause book, like Dr.

Louise Newsome, Davina McCall, or listen to their podcast and

work with that and go from there.

And of course, I'm forgetting the number one source is the women around you.

Yeah, gently.

Ask, you don't have to ask about menopause, what's going

on with you, how can I help you?

Just to be asked that question, oh my goodness, your your capital

with that person will raise a

It's a gift.

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy my Life Satisfaction Assessment.

It's a 30 minute program where I guide you through a deep dive into 10 areas

of your life to assess what's bringing you joy and what's bringing you down.

I call it D Railed.

It's a fabulous place to begin a joy at work redesign.