Episode 11: Navigating the Journey of Self-Confidence

Welcome to The Mirror Project!

Welcome, wonderful listeners, to another enlightening episode of The Mirror Project! It is your hosts Christine and Alexandra, and we're thrilled to have you join us on this exploration into the depths of confidence. Today's discussion is one that resonates deeply with many of us – the elusive quest for self-assurance. So, buckle up as we embark on this journey together and uncover the secrets to embracing our inner confidence.

Stay Connected

Before we plunge into today's captivating topic, take a moment to show your support. Hit that like, subscribe, or follow button on your preferred listening platform – we'll be right here waiting for you!

Are We Currently Confident?

Let's kick things off by addressing the million-dollar question: Are we feeling confident right now, and if not, why? It's a journey we've both been on for what feels like a lifetime, and we're eager to delve deeper into our experiences. Inspired by a thought-provoking Instagram reel from Sophia Nichole (@sopianichole), we reflect on the societal pressures that dictate waiting for perfection before embracing confidence. How did this resonate with us? Did we see ourselves mirrored in her words?

Engage with Us on Socials

Want to stay connected and be part of the conversation? Follow us oon Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Let's continue this journey together!

Do We Work on It?

Christine shares invaluable insights on cultivating confidence, offering practical tips and exercises to empower our journey. From celebrating our wins to embracing self-respect and positive self-talk, there's no shortage of strategies to explore. Alexandra introduces us to a powerful TED Talk by Amy Cuddy, "Fake It Till You Make It," and discusses the transformative power of adopting confident body language. Plus, a compelling read recommendation from Dr. Carol Dweck's "Mindsets" to further fuel our quest for self-assurance. How do we commit to holding ourselves accountable on this journey? It's time to set intentions and make a pact to celebrate our progress every step of the way.

Closing Thoughts

As we wrap up today's discussion, we acknowledge that our exploration of self-confidence has only just begun. We invite you to share your thoughts on the reel and your experiences with waiting for the "perfect" moment to embrace confidence. Comment on this episode and join us next week as we welcome our second guest to the show for an engaging conversation on all things money! Until then, stay confident and keep shining!

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Join Us Next Time  

Before we bid adieu, don’t forget to like, subscribe, or follow us on your preferred listening platform. We can't wait to catch you next time for another captivating episode of The Mirror Project! Until then, keep striving for confidence and embracing your unique journey!

Hello, and welcome to The Mirror Project.

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We are your host, Christine,

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Alexandra: And Alexandra.

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Christine: and we are so

glad you're joining us.

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Today we'll be talking about that elusive

trait for some, or many, confidence.

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I know I've been on a journey of

self confidence, it seems like

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my whole life, and I sometimes

wonder if I will ever feel it.

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Can anyone else relate?

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Let's get started and see where

this conversation takes us.

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Alexandra: Before we dive in today's

topic, like, subscribe, or follow us

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on your preferred listening platform.

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Go ahead, pause, and do

it now before you forget.

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Don't worry, we won't

get started without you.

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Christine: All right, Alexander, why

don't you kick us off and let us know

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whether you feel confident and why.

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Alexandra: Oh, wow.

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Christine, you do not pull

the hard questions, do you?

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Christine: No, I like to get right to it.

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Alexandra: okay, let me

answer the first part of that.

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Do I feel confident?

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No, no, that's not a good question, but.

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More often than not it's one of those

things that the moments where I probably

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come off across confident It's where

my mouth stop starts talking before

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my mind catches up So I don't really

have a chance to not be confident or

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confident and it's just like oh, oh shit.

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We're here.

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Okay, we're doing this So

why don't I feel confident?

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I feel like we're getting, getting into

things that I about with my therapist.

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And honestly, that's been a

conversation recently in, in sessions.

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It's, I feel like I play so much of

my value and worth and therefore how

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confident I feel in other people's

opinions of me, which I think we've

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established in this podcast is

probably not a great way in which

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to operate, but yeah, it's kind of

where I'm at my journey right now.

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I.

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Want to be more confident.

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I'm working towards that,

but do I feel confident now?

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No.

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So Christine, what about you?

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I know briefly you talked

about it in the intro, but why

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don't you feel so confident?

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Christine: That's a very good question and

one I haven't really been able to answer.

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And it's kind of, it's funny, right?

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Cause like some days I feel like

I got it and I've, I don't know.

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I, I, I think a lot of the time, similar

to you, Alexandra, I sometimes put a lot

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of my worth in other people's opinions

of me, although I don't, Like, I don't

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know if I consciously think that I do.

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Cause it's not, I'll say this, It's

not so much like I care what people I

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don't really have relationships with

think of me, like strangers or people

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I, like, acquaintances, I couldn't care

less It more so lies in the people who

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I love and care about the most, I think,

and it's because I don't want to ever

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feel like I'm letting people down in

my life, but in a lot of ways I end up

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letting myself down because it's either

I'm constantly overextending myself or

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which It's happening a lot recently.

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And I don't know I feel like I I'm

constantly worrying about other people

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in my life, like those I love most in my

life, rather than caring about myself.

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And I think it's, I don't

know, I don't really know why.

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And it's something I've definitely want

to explore And I think I definitely

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could use the help of a professional.

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I'm currently not in therapy,

but I definitely think I could

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seriously benefit from it.

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I think a lot of people in my life

will tell me that I know everybody.

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I know.

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Alexandra: When you say that, I almost

think that Therapy is something that

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anyone can benefit from, not because

something is wrong with somebody else,

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but that it, it almost helps us be

the best versions of ourself, but also

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better adjusted versions of ourself.

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But yeah, I think I know that we've talked

about it and I'm like, yeah, if that's

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something you want, I think you should

seek the counsel of a licensed therapist

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because honestly it can only help.

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And I know.

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I think I've mentioned

this in previous episodes.

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It can only help if you find the

right therapist that works for you.

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And that's a process and it's taking

time to find someone that's a, a good

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fit and that will call you on your

shit, but also empathize and sympathize

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and go, yeah, that's really sucky.

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How are we going to work on that?

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I mean, like you don't want somebody

who's going to do more damage.

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you want somebody who's going to

help you figure out The tools and

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Christine: yeah,

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And,

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I think I just, sometimes I almost wonder,

I think I feel more confident in, in my

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relationships than I am in, in myself.

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I know I can confidently

be a good friend my

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found family a supportive sister

and daughter But sometimes I

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feel like, especially within the

last year I have struggled with

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knowing my self worth and knowing.

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Not that I'm what I'm capable of, but

there's really no other word for it.

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Like having that confidence in myself.

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So let's, let's see if we can

discover more as we talk today.

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Alexandra: okay, again, for those of you

listening, this conversation did come

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about from One of us sharing another

Instagram reel and Christine reminded

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me that I think I shared this with her.

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And this was one that came from

Sophia Nicole, and it looks like

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she was set up on a spin bike.

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So I'm guessing she's some,

Spin instructor for somebody.

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And we'll share both the real

video itself for the link to

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and Sophia Nicole's account.

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So in the video and the real,

she says confidence is tricky

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because we're told our entire

lives to wait till you're perfect.

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Wait till you're the boss.

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Wait till you have X amount of followers.

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Wait until you have.

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The perfect life.

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No, celebrate it along the

way confident along the way.

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Let's go.

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And if you can imagine that kind

of like standing up on a spit bike

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with, you know, pounding music it's

probably much more dramatic than my

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reinterpretation of that there, but It

really struck me when I saw the video

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because I feel like it resonated so much.

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Like the part of, wait till you're

perfect, wait till something,

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until you can, until you're allowed

to celebrate, until you've made

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it in order to do something.

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And that, Has unfortunately

been like how I operate.

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So yeah, my confidence is very

much tied up into when I'm perfect.

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And that's such a struggle

because what is perfection?

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And that is a conversation

I constantly have.

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And the, you know, and then it

comes to, why are you waiting?

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You know, just, just celebrate you.

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You've done so much.

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And I think like Christine and I shared

this in common, we're, we're very quick

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to diminish our own Achievements celebrate

other people's at the wazoo, but our own

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stuff, like, Oh no, well, I can do it.

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Everyone can do it.

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So it's, it's not that special.

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It's not that important.

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And, and once I meet my next

goal, then I'll celebrate.

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But then once we get there,

it's almost like, Nope, move

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the goalpost a little bit more.

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So Christine, what was your

thoughts and reaction when I

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Christine: Well, it really brings to

light that I think a lot of people

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think confidence is like a destination

and it's, it's not some, it's like

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something you're constantly working

towards, which, yeah, I think like

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that's part of it, but especially in

this context of like being told to wait

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until you're perfect, or wait until X.

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It doesn't, it just doesn't make sense.

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Like, if, if, if, why wouldn't you want to

make those achievements with confidence?

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You know, so

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Alexandra: I have no idea, Christine.

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If I think if, if you told me

the answer, I'd be like, great.

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Now I have a, an answer and

I can find the solution.

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Like I can move

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Christine: I don't know.

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I'd love to hear What do you

guys think who are listening?

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I think I really struggle with this

one because I'm constantly struggling

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with confidence and and my self

worth and I think it's because like I

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don't want it to be that way, but I'm

going to get vulnerable for a second.

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But I think like I'm, I

constantly wrap it up in those.

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I care most like that's

where my worth lies.

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It's in the relationships I

have and how I I don't know.

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Alexandra: So you tie it to the people

around you more of having more than

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having an, an internal core reserve.

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Christine: cause like, yeah, cause like

I said, I know I can be a great friend

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to those that I really care about.

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And I know how to be a supportive

daughter and sister and a reliable

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employee and, and things like that.

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But self confidence is

like a whole nother beast.

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Cause I feel like I, at times

I am confident and I have

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confidence in what I'm doing.

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And when I'm not up in my

head and like, I just do it.

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Yeah, I got it.

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But that's where I trip myself

off is I like the internal, like

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I get caught up internally and my

insecurities start eating away at me.

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So when you shared this with me,

I was like, yeah, it is truly a

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tricky, it is truly a tricky concept.

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And I don't know.

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That's, that's all I got right now.

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Alexandra: I think

that's the point of this.

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Are we confident?

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Like, I don't know.

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We're, I think we're figuring

it out as we go along.

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And I don't know.

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Maybe some of our listeners

have some ideas for us and, or

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are on the same journey we are.

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And so maybe they, you know,

we don't feel so alone, which I

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think helps sometimes, you know,

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Christine: Yeah, for sure.

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I definitely feel like I'm in a

rebuilding phase because Last year

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definitely kind of wrecked me.

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And definitely I found myself

at a different point in my

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life than I've ever felt.

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And like, we've all had a weird

fucking or five years, right?

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And that's like, for me, that was my mid

twenties, which I've come to, I've come

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to realize twenties is a weird decade.

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who you were at 2020 versus who you are at

29 is like two totally different people.

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Cause it's only nine years,

but you truly change so much.

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And for you and I having COVID

happened right in the middle of it all.

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It's such a formative time because like

it's it's that transition out of your

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early twenties into your later twenties.

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so much happens.

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As you leave and enter your thirties.

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So, I don't know, does

anybody else relate to this?

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I feel like I'm almost behind

the curve in a lot of ways.

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And with how last year ended for me,

I'm definitely in a rebuilding phase.

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So, if, if you can relate to

that, sound off in the comments.

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And I see you, I hear you, I'm with you.

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Alexandra: You are certainly not

walking that journey and path alone.

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Christine: all.

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Alexandra: So I feel like this is

a great segue into the next segment

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that we want to talk about of how do

we work on building it then if, if

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we're not confident, how do we start?

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So Christine, what are some of your

thoughts or things you would like to.

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Try and do to kind of

build that confidence.

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Christine: So, I actually thought

a lot about this as we were

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preparing for this episode today.

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I And it's funny to for me to give some

ideas on this as I just revealed to

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you all how, where I'm at currently.

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But, as I was reflecting,

here's what I what came to mind.

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First thing was to celebrate

and reflect on your wins.

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So, as Alexandra mentioned a

little while ago, she and I

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tend to both downplay our wins.

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Don't downplay it.

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It's really important to sit with

them and see how that makes you feel.

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And it's okay to feel good about it.

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Celebrate them and celebrate it with

those who love and support you because

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they're your biggest cheerleaders and

they want, they want you to be happy and

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they want you to feel good about yourself.

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So celebrate.

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Alexandra: I like that one.

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Christine: nothing's too small.

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And.

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It's important.

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It really, I think, is something I

need to start embracing more, and I'll

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have to report back to see how how

my mind starts to shift, but I can

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imagine I'll be feeling way better

about myself once I start doing that.

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Alexandra: I have a thought on that.

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I was talking with a friend and she had

a, was in a similar situation of like.

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Not feeling like she'd accomplished a

lot and how somebody she was working

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with had said, why don't you write down

exactly what you did, you know, for

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the thing she was trying to accomplish.

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And she's like, even if it was

sending a text message or writing

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something brief, I would log it.

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And then over the course of the

month, I would look back and go,

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Oh, I actually have done stuff.

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So that made me think of the

celebrate and reflect on your wins.

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And it's like, maybe the first step

to that is even just writing down that

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you've done something so that you can

go back and have something concrete

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to point to like, Oh, Hey, I did that.

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You know?

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Cause I think about that and be like,

well, what wins what accomplishments?

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And I'm like, but if you write

down when, when something happens,

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then you can go back and say, Oh,

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that thing, that's what I'm

going to celebrate, you know?

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Christine: Yeah, for sure.

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Alexandra: that as somebody

who also needs to do

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Christine: it's, if you, if you do that

exercise and you look back and you're

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reflecting on all the things you've

done, like, yeah, keep celebrating

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that because you've come so far and

it's important to remember that.

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All righty.

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next thought I had was view your

failures as learning opportunities.

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Listen, no one likes to fail,

but there is beauty in failure.

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I say this knowing that I find it really

hard to see that, especially when I'm

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deep in it all, but it's truly when

you learn the most about yourself.

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And most importantly, Remember to

show yourself grace when you mess

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up or something doesn't work out

the way that you had planned it to.

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unfortunately, that's a major part of

life, but there's always an opportunity

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to learn from that and to grow.

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Alexandra: But Christine, those little

voices just come back saying, Well,

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look at all the stuff you didn't do

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Christine: I know, I know.

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Listen, I've been hearing those a lot

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lately.

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It's so hard.

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But I think that really plays in

well to this next point, which

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is treat yourself with respect.

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where to even begin, where to

even begin with that one, right?

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What does that even mean?

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, I know I had to really sit with this

and I did a little reading on this,

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but basically what I've come to

understand is that self-respect is

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understanding and honoring your own needs.

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and knowing your worth

and acting accordingly.

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I know I've constantly, people have shared

with me like, know your worth, Christine.

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And I'm like, what the

fuck does that even mean?

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Alexandra: It's like, thanks

for throwing salt on that open

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Christine: yeah, exactly.

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Well, here's an exercise that I, I

want to work on as a result of this.

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If you feel like you can work on your

self respect, consider identifying

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your values, setting boundaries, and

nurturing your needs through self care.

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And I think that one, that last one, self

care, is a big one for me because I think,

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and this isn't something necessarily that

I felt from my parents or those I love

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most, but there's definitely, this idea

of putting yourself for first is selfish.

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That's totally false.

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And it's that analogy of, you got to

put your face mask on when you're on

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an airplane first, before you help the

person next to you, because you can't do

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any help, you can't help those you care

about most if you're not able to breathe

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Alexandra: I can see how that would be a

really big part of self confidence, right?

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Because if you don't

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Christine: yeah,

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Alexandra: respect yourself and

respect what you're doing, it's

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almost easy to make the jump of,

well, yeah, that makes sense that

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you're not confident because you don't

have that sense of self to do so.

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Christine: yeah.

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Alexandra: Never really

thought about it that way.

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So you've given me a lot to ponder in that

that one thought, but I think you were

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going to say something else about self

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worth.

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Christine: So, as I mentioned,

when people have said to me

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like, Christine, know your worth.

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I'm like, okay, but like,

what the fuck does that mean?

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I, I didn't, I really

didn't understand it.

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So I did a little more reading and

came to understand and I've come to

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learn that self worth is an internal

sense of being good enough and worthy

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of love and belonging from others,

Which people might confuse with self

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esteem, which is something that is

totally different from self worth

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and it actually relies on external

factors like success and achievements.

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So it's important to have a

solid understanding of our own

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strengths and areas of growth.

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Additionally, we need to remember to

feel good about ourselves, even when

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we make mistakes and When things don't

work out in our life as we had hoped.

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So An exercise to, like a sub

exercise to do under this exercise

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of confidence, because I feel like

it all truly is rolled together.

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is asking yourself how you would

describe your own self worth right now.

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And there are a couple

of questions to consider.

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What words would you use

to describe yourself?

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What value did you place on

yourself or aspects of yourself?

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Were your descriptions generally

positive, balanced, or negative?

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And, where did your messages

around your worth come from?

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So, this is an exercise I know I'm

going to do cause I feel like I need

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to do like a whole sort of reset

so I think this is an important

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one I need to focus on right now.

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Yeah, I'll have to let you guys

know how this self reflection goes

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Alexandra: Hmm.

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That's something we all should do

and report back and see what, what

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happens.

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Christine: I'm, I'm done.

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Alexandra: Cause when you were reading

those, I was like, oof, oof, oof.

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And

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Christine: we're getting deep, everybody.

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Alexandra: then pouring some

hydrogen peroxide on it.

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Christine: yes.

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And just a couple more thoughts to keep in

mind in your your self confidence journey

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is Positive self talk and affirmations.

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And this is a great opportunity for me

to do a call back to our second episode,

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which was on sayings and mantras.

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And I encourage you, if you haven't

already to go back and give that a listen,

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because we share some great tips on

how to create your own personal mantras

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and to start re writing those tapes.

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We constantly play in our heads and.

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Remember, it's super important

how you speak to yourself.

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I mean, you wouldn't talk to

your best friend poorly, so

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don't speak to yourself that way.

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Remember, treat yourself the

way you want to be treated.

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This next point I like a lot because it's

to your point, Alexandra, of tracking

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your progress, so I think tracking

your progress is super important.

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If you can, do a daily check in, and

you can get creative with this, right?

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There's not one, Right way to do this.

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A couple of ideas I came up with.

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First one was journaling.

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Now I've tried journaling.

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I don't know if it's for me, but this

next idea is one I'm kind of excited

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about and I feel like I could get creative

with, which is coming up with a chart

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that I can sort of like illustrative

with and have a lot of fun with another

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idea was a video or photo diary.

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You know, taking pictures throughout the

day or maybe in the morning or at night

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before you go to bed, just recording

yourself for a couple minutes, just

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talking about your day and I think,

at the very least, you can do a simple

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list of of what you took away from the

day, and you can write a high from that

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day, a low from the day and something

that you're grateful for, because So, I

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think acknowledging what you're grateful

for puts everything into perspective.

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And, these last few things I'll

just lift, list off really quickly.

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Pursue things that make you happy.

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stand up for yourself.

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Which, I think is easier

said than done at times.

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But, you know.

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Try each day and don't beat

yourself up if you don't do it.

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tomorrow's a new day and, who knows, maybe

you'll feel like you can take on the day

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a little bit better after a good night's

rest and just some time away from it all.

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and lastly, like, surround yourself

with media and things that can

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help boost your confidence.

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It's the books you're reading, the

people you follow on social media, Can

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encourage that self confidence and this

is a fun little exercise on following

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accounts that don't do that for you

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Alexandra: Yeah.

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And Kristen, I would almost even

wonder if it would be a good idea to

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maybe unfollow accounts that don't

support that change before following

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once you do kind of like that.

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Christine: Yeah,

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Alexandra: So I'm thinking sometimes

the things that we see aren't just like

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influencers, but it can be friends or

family and, and taking that step even a

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little bit to distance ourself can be.

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Sometimes hard to do or like even if

it's an influencer you really liked

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for a long time and Now it's like oh,

I don't really resonate with that.

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But you know, I was there when they

started or something You know unfollowing

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them might be that like, okay I'm doing

a really hard step and like you said

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earlier celebrate the small things I

did a hard step celebrate by following

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someone new like Simon Sinek or somebody

else that you know So I'm one just

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wonder if flipping it would make it

Easier to, to do the unfollow part.

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Christine: I think that's that's a great

point So yeah, that, that's my list.

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don't be intimidated by it.

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take it one step at a time.

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I know I definitely have a lot to

work through, but I think this is

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a good sort of framework that I

certainly am going to keep in mind

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as I I'm in this rebuilding phase,

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Alexandra: Yeah.

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And I like that.

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This is all stuff.

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It's not, it's not like

a one and done, right?

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This is stuff that you'll

probably come back to

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Christine: multiple

399

times yet.

400

And because we're constantly changing,

I think like, I definitely forget

401

sometimes that part of the human condition

is like, you're constantly evolving.

402

You're constantly changing because you're

aging, you're having new experiences and

403

all of those things shape you and change.

404

Change you so hopefully for the better and

I think Alexander you We're gonna share

405

one of your favorite TED talks with us.

406

Alexandra: Oh, yes.

407

Christine: I'm ready.

408

Alexandra: I'm trying to think of

when I first saw the scent hawk.

409

I want to say that I was at least In

college, but probably in high school.

410

Christine: Okay

411

Alexandra: I think I had a English.

412

Teacher or somebody who is like really

obsessed with Ted Talks in high school.

413

So that kind of got me on to that finding

ones I found interesting, but I kind

414

of came across this idea that from Amy

Cuddy's fake it till you make it Ted Talk.

415

And of course, as per usual,

we'll, we'll link that.

416

In the description, the show notes of this

episode and she talks about this idea of

417

maybe it's not fake it till you make it.

418

Maybe it's fake it till you become it.

419

And I really liked that thought because

I think the fake it till you make it kind

420

of hits more on the esteem part, right?

421

It's the external things.

422

Like you have all these external markers

that's saying, Hey, you've made it.

423

If you keep quote unquote faking

it until you become it, until you

424

believe that thing that you've been

pretending at, that's almost where

425

that, that confidence is, right?

426

That's what I'm thinking of.

427

Like, it's not that I've just made it.

428

I'm actually now this new person.

429

Like, so I'm thinking like, if, if I

don't feel confident, maybe sometimes I

430

should just pretend to be confident and

just go out and say like, what would What

431

would I, what would a confident person

do and do that thing and keep doing

432

that until I go, oh, okay, maybe this

isn't as hard or isn't as scary or, wow,

433

that was easier to do than I thought.

434

So I kind of liked that and the, this,

the woman who gave the TED talk, she

435

had been through like a traumatic

accident that had impacted her brain.

436

And.

437

her value around how smart she was.

438

And so I think it's a really good TED

talk to listen to, and watch and apply to

439

any subject, whether it's confidence or

anywhere that you feel like you're lacking

440

or you haven't made it or you're behind.

441

So that's one of my favorite talks.

442

And what you were talking about earlier,

Christine, where Making mistakes.

443

I'm trying to think of the

exact wording you used.

444

It was view your failures

as opportunities.

445

And when you said that, that

reminded me of a book that I recently

446

read for one of my MBA classes.

447

And it was Dr.

448

Carol Dweck, who's a psychologist,

a PhD in psychology called Mindsets.

449

I actually don't have the book

right here with me because I

450

think there's a subtitle for that.

451

And it talks about the difference between

the fixed mindset, like the one that

452

doesn't want to try something new because

it could prove that not good enough.

453

It doesn't come easy.

454

And that's the only way it should be done

is if something comes easy versus the

455

growth mindset, which is Going, Hey, I

totally made a mistake and that's fine.

456

And kind of get back up and embracing

failures and going, yeah, that's how

457

I learned this is totally normal.

458

It doesn't define who I am and

it doesn't make me a failure.

459

Because I, I can see.

460

Where in life and what subjects I have a

more growth mindset on and then where in

461

life that I have a very fixed mindset on.

462

And I feel like confidence is one of

those where I tend to lean into the fixed

463

mindset and I'd like to adapt that and

change that to a more growth and embrace.

464

The failures and praise failing at

being confident and learning, Hey,

465

this worked or, you know, this part

works, but the rest of it didn't.

466

So let me tweak it and try it again.

467

So those are two things that have

really stood out to me recently.

468

And of course, as I mentioned in

the sayings and mantras episode that

469

Christine talked about earlier was

pretty much any work by Louise Hay.

470

I feel like.

471

If I go back and read it and

really absorb it, it kind of helps

472

prod me in the right direction

of working on my self confidence.

473

But there's so much, you

know, wrapped up into that.

474

And I think we even talked a little

bit about that on episodes five

475

and six of body image and health.

476

And I know for me that how I look

is very much wrapped up into How

477

confident I feel and should it be?

478

Probably not.

479

No, is it?

480

Unfortunately.

481

And so trying to disentangle or trying

to untangle that it was taking some work

482

Christine: Yeah.

483

Alexandra: and then, you know, separating

that from, cause like you said taking

484

stock of something was If the comments

were positive, neutral, or negative.

485

And I was like, negative because things

come up and, you know, it's always fine.

486

It's always easy for me to find the

things to criticize myself about.

487

And yeah, so I will say I've

embraced feeling a little bit more.

488

I'm not saying, you know, Oh,

well commit with open arms yet.

489

But it is definitely something that I am.

490

Trying to work on because I think being

more comfortable that, comfortable

491

with failing, making mistakes will also

492

Maybe take some of the fear out of trying

to be confident like it'll it won't

493

make it such this big thing Because

who cares if I mess up, you know,

494

I'll say that but it would be me.

495

I would care So Yeah, so all that

said, Christine, how are we going

496

to hold ourselves accountable to

working on our self confidence

497

and celebrating it along the way?

498

thoughts?

499

Christine: Well, I know in that list

I shared of thoughts on how to work on

500

your confidence, I gave some like good

action items of journaling, or I think

501

I definitely, I'm going to try and dream

up like how I could chart my Progress.

502

And I think, you know, even the simple

exercise of, acknowledging what went

503

really great today, what went really

bad today and what you're grateful

504

for is a great exercise to do.

505

And I think set.

506

milestones for yourself, try and do

it at least five times next week.

507

And just sort of see how you're feeling.

508

I know right now, I'm practicing a town.

509

This is a tangent for a second

and it will relate back to this.

510

I promise.

511

But right now I'm practicing

Italian through Duolingo.

512

And.

513

I have, I'm very proud because I'm,

I've been able to maintain my streak,

514

which is like every day I practice a

little, a little bit more and more.

515

the app sends me reminders like,

don't let, don't lose your streak.

516

And it's so, it's, it's so silly,

but it's a great tool in keeping

517

you, like holding you accountable.

518

So, like.

519

I don't know, like finding a way to

sort of create that for myself to

520

make me excited to track my progress.

521

I think also finding an accountability

partner, maybe somebody you, you

522

care about a lot and want to also

see succeed in this self confidence

523

journey, you can like check in with

each other, ask like, Oh, did you,

524

did you reflect on your day to day?

525

And I think those are some

things that come to mind for me,

526

but what about you, Alexandra?

527

Alexandra: I like your idea

of the accountability partner.

528

I think that works for many, many things.

529

I think I'm going to take a slightly

different approach and just, I think

530

this is one of those topics that I

could kind of get in my head about

531

and be like, rationalize it and

overanalyze the day is, you know, done.

532

So I'm going to try and just.

533

Pretend, just pretend,

put myself out there.

534

Just go for it.

535

So I'd like to try that at

least once this coming week.

536

And I think for me just, I seem to

do better once I'm in a situation.

537

So I'm going to just try.

538

But yeah, maybe, you know having you or

some friends be accountability partners

539

that I can go, Oh, Hey, I did it.

540

And we're like, Yeah, there was

an opportunity and I missed it.

541

So I'll catch it next time

and celebrating along the way.

542

I think that's the benefit.

543

I think of an accountability partner

to is saying, Oh, Hey, you did it.

544

Did you celebrate?

545

I think part of me would think

would be like, well, I did it.

546

So that's the reward.

547

And I'm like, kind of, but also,

you know, celebrate it along

548

Christine: I think that's a good point.

549

Yeah,

550

start small and I think we talked

about this in our mantra episode, like,

551

it doesn't have to be a crazy long

thing that you do, and you don't have

552

to do it every day, but just know,

if you make it a habit, you're going

553

to see the benefits down the line.

554

So if you're struggling to get started,

find a, find that accountability

555

partner and just know that it

takes one step at a time and it's

556

a big deal when you take that step.

557

Alexandra: I think that's the part

that, you know, I know that we struggle

558

with is, is even acknowledging that.

559

So it'll be cool to see that.

560

So I will be checking in everyone

with Christine at the end of this

561

week and seeing how, okay, I'll give

her till next Wednesday, you know,

562

cause this release is on a Thursday.

563

So I'll give her till next

Wednesday guys and check in with

564

her and see how she's doing.

565

And

566

Christine: Sounds

567

Alexandra: so I'm expecting

she'll do the same for

568

me, but.

569

Christine: Yeah, for sure.

570

I love to send little love texts

where, like, I just randomly

571

text you, accountability?

572

Question mark?

573

Alexandra: just like, and then

it's like send back, which ones?

574

Christine: Yeah.

575

Alexandra: Cause we have

a couple of things going.

576

I feel like it's a confidence.

577

It's a duolingo.

578

It's a couple of things.

579

But

580

Christine: we should, like, we

should, pick out what emojis are

581

gonna represent each thing, and I'll

just text you a, like, a message

582

of emojis, here's your checklist.

583

Alexandra: I like that.

584

I think that would be fun.

585

So we should definitely try

586

Christine: Alright, I'm down.

587

Alexandra: Well, on that note, I am

confident that we have only scratched

588

the surface on the lifelong relationship

we each have with our self confidence.

589

See what I

590

did there?

591

We want to hear from you.

592

What are your thoughts on the

reel that we shared earlier?

593

Do you notice waiting until something

happens to do or be something else?

594

Comment on this episode and let us know.

595

We want to hear what your thoughts are.

596

And did you try any of our tips and

tricks and let us know how they worked.

597

Tune in next week and welcome

our second guest to the show

598

as we discuss money, honey.

599

Talk then.

600

Christine: Enjoying the

conversations we're having and

601

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602

Consider supporting us through

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603

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604

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605

Before we end, don't forget to

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607

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