R is for Relationship Reboot.

Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones.  Today the letter is R and R is for relationship reboot. 

Dr Janet Hall is a sex therapist and clinical psychologist from Melbourne, Australia.   She is here to talk with me about what to do when your man has lost his drive or when your woman has lost her drive.

We started by talking about why men lose their libido and drive.  Dr Hall talked about men who are overinvolved with sports, men who are motivated by achievement, work and money, those who are couch potatoes and spoke about the reasons these men can lose drive.  We spoke about midlife crisis, physical ailments and sometimes a lack of motivation.  Dr Hall highlighted the fact that many men find it hard to put the energy and attention into their relationships and that they may choose to find easier ways to get off. 

We spoke about how women can approach their male partners by making sure to identify their love languages, stroking their egos, making sure they feel admired, valued and appreciated for all that they do.  We talked about how important it is for women to be soft and feminine in their approach and that if they are feeling angry and resentful it is best to talk to a friend or a therapist so that they can approach their partner in a better state of mind with a better tone of voice.

Dr Hall spoke about the reasons women lose their drive.  She discussed one type of woman who was never really that interested in sex but knew that she needed to be sexy and engage in sex in order to gain the marriage she wanted.  Then once the children were born, this woman no longer wants to have sex and expects her husband to settle down.  She spoke about women who find sex painful and we talked of vaginismus and painful sex around and after menopause.  We spoke about women who are feeling really and angry and resentful.  Finally we spoke about women who are doing everything and feel that their male partner is a like another child and how when he is perceived this way, she doesn’t find him at all attractive. 

Dr Hall talked about how men can approach by learning to listen, learning to do massage and giving her a 30 minute massage without pressure for sex, pitching in more, making more effort to create the space for sex.  She spoke about mindful sex and how amazing it can be. 

Finally we talked about the course she is piloting that focuses on how to create time for sex and how to prioritise sex.  The course is aimed at couples and covers establishing emotional intimacy and connection and reigniting the physical intimacy.  Dr Hall says that we need to approach a partner with love in our hearts and lust in our loins.

You can find Dr Hall at www.sex-therapy.com.au and www.drjanethall.com.au.

Please get in touch with her if you want to volunteer to test out her new online course for couples and also enjoy the free ebook download for listeners.

http://www.drjanethall.com.au/free-gift-women-achieving-fabulous-orgasms/

This week we talked about how to help your partner come back to intimacy with you, the reasons men lose their libido, the reasons women lose their libido, how difficult it can be to prioritise sex and why it is important to do so.  If any of this triggered you or you just have something to report, email me at drloribeth@atozofsex.com.

Thanks for joining me for the A to Z of Sex this week. Write to me with suggestions for the show, questions you want answered at drloribeth@atozofsex.com , follow me on twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Check out my YouTube channel: Dr Lori Beth Bisbey.

For a free 30-minute discovery session with me, go to https://the-intimacy-coach.com/ and head to my contact page to click on my calendar and schedule directly.

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