Your words teach your brain how powerful you think you are.

In this confidence-boosting episode, Yaya breaks down how the language you use, even small phrases like “I think” or “sorry”, directly affects your energy, motivation, and self-trust. You’ll learn how to upgrade your self-talk, replace minimizing language with confident alternatives, and start sounding powerful before you even feel it.

You’ll learn:

• Why your brain believes every word you say
• How negative self-talk shapes your emotions and actions
• Simple swaps that instantly make you sound (and feel) more confident
• How to create a daily habit of empowering, grounded language

Share your new confidence phrase on Instagram or Threads and tag @coachingwithyaya, Yaya might feature your story this week!

Welcome back to Notes to Her, the daily pep talk.

I'm Yaya, your confidence and mind tech coach, here to help you stop overthinking, start owning your voice, and lead the day like you mean it.

In the last episode, we talked about something that almost every woman deals with.

Borrowed doubt.

That moment you're feeling good about yourself, you've prepped, you're ready, and then someone else's fear starts rubbing off on you.

Maybe it's a co worker who's nervous before a presentation and suddenly your stomach's tight too.

Or a friend who's questioning her own path, and before you know it, you're questioning yours.

In that episode, I shared a story about how I had to learn how to hand that doubt back, to notice when I was absorbing other people's fears and remind myself, that's not mine to hold.

If you haven't listened to it yet, definitely go back and Listen to note 4.

Stop borrowing other people's doubt, because today's topic builds right on top of that.

So let's talk about a different kind of thief.

The words that quietly drain your confidence.

The words that you speak to yourself.

I have a friend, and maybe you do, too, who's incredibly talented.

She's creative, hardworking, and honestly, brilliant at what she does.

But every time she shares her work, she leaves with an apology.

I didn't have much time, so it's not perfect.

Don't judge me.

I'm still working on it.

It's probably not that good, but here it is.

You ever do that?

Downplay your own skills so that no one else can beat you to it?

My friend wasn't struggling with skill.

She was struggling with trust.

She didn't trust her expertise enough to let her own work speak for itself.

And the truth is, every time she softened her words, she softened her confidence, too.

Here's the thing.

Your brain listens to your language.

Every word you speak out loud or in your head becomes a script your subconscious performs.

When you say, I think, your brain hears uncertainty.

When you say, I'm not sure, your brain learns hesitation.

When you start every sentence with sorry, it labels it as you Wrong.

Even though you're not, your words literally tell your body how to feel.

When you use doubtful, minimizing language, your shoulders drop, your breath shallows, and your energy shrinks.

But when you speak with calm certainty, your body follows.

Your tone steadies, your presence expands.

In psychology, we call this the loop effect.

Your thoughts shape your emotions, your emotions shape your actions, and your actions reinforce your beliefs.

So if you Keep talking like you're small.

You're going to start to feel small.

And when you feel small, you act small.

The good news is you can rewire that loop.

The voice in your head, the one that says, you can't, you won't.

Why try?

Isn't the truth.

It's just a habit.

A protective gremlin I love to call your inner mean girl that learned to play it safe.

I wrote a blog post recently called How Negative Self Talk Sabotages Success, explaining how negative self talk keeps you in the passenger seat.

It talks you out of opportunities.

It whispers, don't bother when something matters to you.

And before you know it, you've drifted far, far from your goals.

Not because you are incapable, but because that inner voice keeps you off track.

Here's what I love.

You created the voice, which means that you can retrain it.

You can rewrite the script one sentence at a time.

Okay, let's practice that right now.

When it comes to language, small swaps make a big difference.

Let's trade the self note phrases that shrink your power for the ones that bandit.

Instead of I just wanted to check in, say I wanted to follow up.

Instead of sorry for the delay, say thank you for your patience.

Instead of does that make sense?

Say, what are your thoughts?

Instead of I'm not sure, but say, here's what I think.

These shifts might seem tiny, but they train your brain to associate your voice with calm authority.

And this isn't just about sounding polished.

It's about reshaping your internal dialogue, too.

Because how you talk to yourself matters just as much as how you talk to others.

You're in constant mental chatter.

Every thought is a seed that grows into action.

When you plant negative thoughts, you harvest hesitation.

But when you plant encouraging ones, things like I can handle this or I'm learning as I go, you start to build confidence in real time.

So try this.

Step number one is awareness.

Catch those negative phrases the moment they appear.

Something like, I always mess up.

Two, replace that.

Shift it into something supportive, like I'm learning and improving.

And then three, repeat.

Every repetition rewires your brain towards confidence.

I call it creating a positive script.

You start stacking positive thoughts on top of positive thoughts until your inner voice becomes your biggest ally instead of your harshest critic.

When your language changes, your posture changes, your tone changes, your energy changes.

That's how you start sounding confident before you even feel it.

Okay, it's time to take a breath with me.

We're going to inhale and then exhale.

Think about one phrase you say often that quietly downplays your power.

Maybe it's sorry, maybe it's I think maybe it's it's not a big deal.

Now imagine saying the new version.

Feel how differently it sounds in your body, because every time you use strong, kind, confident language, you send your brain a message.

This is who I am now.

It's not just a word swap.

It's an identity shift.

When you talk to yourself like a woman who believes it, your energy becomes magnetic.

You start attracting opportunities that match that energy.

And remember, changing self talk isn't about fake positivity.

You're not ignoring fear or pretending you're perfect.

You're leading your mind instead of letting old patterns lead you.

So as you move through your day, listen to how you speak to your friends, to your coworkers, and most importantly, to yourself.

Ask is my language expanding me or shrinking me?

If it's shrinking you, pause, breathe, and rewrite the line.

I'd love to hear your swaps.

So post your new confidence phrase in your Instagram stories and tag me at Question with Yaya.

I'll be cheering you on and sharing a few of my favorites this week.

Because confidence isn't about being perfect.

It's about being certain enough to stand in what you already know.

And in our next episode, I'm going to show you how to take these words and turn them into action.

We're talking about how to make big goals feel totally doable, even when it feels like it's miles away.

Sa.