Hi everyone! Welcome to the A to Z of Sex. I’m Dr Lori Beth and I am your host.  We are working our way through the erotic alphabet one letter at a time.  Just a reminder this podcast deals with adult content, so if you don’t have total privacy, you might want to put on your headphones. Today the letter is Q and Q is for Queer. Queer is defined in a number of ways.  Queer can be a slur used for homosexual people.  Queer is also reclaimed by many people who have non-mainstream sexual orientation or gender identification. Queer theory is an academic discipline that studies all things non-binary – so polyamory, bisexuality, and non-binary gender, gender fluid and transgender. To learn a full history of the term Queer, check out Dr Meg-John Barker’s graphic novel Queer: A Graphic History. 

Joining me today is Shula Melamed who is a Relationship and Wellness Coach located in New York City. She has been coaching individuals, couples and groups on topics of intimacy, sexuality, healthy relationships, social skills and adhering to health and wellness programs. In addition to working with her clients she has also done research on the popularity of pole dancing classes, has worked as an ethnographer of youth subcultures in New York City, on public health research on drug use and adherence to HIV medication and as a sexual health advisor for the sex positive underwear line Oddo.

Shula thanks for joining me! To start, how do you define queer? Shula defined queer in a similar manner to mine. Our conversation covered privilege, intersectionality, and the need for people on the LGBTQIA spectrum to be seen. We spoke about how invisibility has mental health and physical health consequences and how queer can be seen entirely politically.  Shula spoke about how the millennials seem to have more fluid ideas about gender, sexuality and relationship structure.  She mentioned someone who identifies as demi-sexual who says that she cannot have sex with anyone unless she has an emotional relationship with the person. I had never heard the term demi-sexual before. I pointed out that this is the way sexual relationships were seen in generations past – only to be had in relationships that had an emotional connection and component. 

Shula offers listeners a complimentary 30 minute Skype session.

Head over to her website www.shulamelamed.com and mention that you heard her on the A to Z of Sex podcast.

She can be found on Facebook (shulamelamedmamph), twitter: @shulamelamed and linked in (shulamelamed).

Thanks for joining me this week for the A to Z of Sex  Write in with your questions to drloribeth@atozofsex.com and visit both websites www.atozofsex.com and www.the-intimacy-coach.com to learn about alternative sexual choices, types of sexual relationships and to learn to sizzle and create that ideal lasting intimate relationship.   For a free 30 minute session with me, head over to www.atozofsex.com and click on the button that says ‘book now’.  Please join me next week when the letter will be R.