Love this episode with Leah Darrow, so thought I would bring it back this week! We talk about what it really means to reach your God-given potential, how to discern your next step without getting stuck in fear, and practical ways to test decisions with peace, vocation, and God’s commandments. Leah also breaks down how to recognize limiting beliefs, replace them with truth, and use scripture declarations to renew your mind. Hope you love this one!

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Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner, and you're listening to the ever

2

be podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

3

I'm so excited you're here, whether you're

a new listener or a longtime follower,

4

I know there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real life conversations

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and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

8

modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to Ever Be.

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Mari Wagner: Welcome back

everybody and happy Wednesday.

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I have an incredible

guest joining me today.

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Someone who I've learned so

much from over the years.

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I'm sure you've heard of her as well.

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She is a speaker and author

and entrepreneur host of the

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power made perfect program.

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I know she's a proud wife and if you

don't already know who this is, we

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have Leah Darrow on the show today.

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So Leah, welcome to ever be.

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Yeah, thanks for having me.

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I'm excited for us to

chat and get into it.

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Let's do it.

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Yeah, this is gonna be

a great conversation.

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, I just think your story is so

inspiring and speak so much to the

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mercy of Jesus and the beauty of

a life lived with Christ, which is

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something I just love to talk about.

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A lot of what I talk about is Christ

centered living and how a life lived

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with Christ is so much more full, so much

more joyful, so much more dream filled

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and exciting than a life lived without.

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Um, so we're going to get

into that a little bit today.

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Talk about how to reach that kind of like.

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Full god given potential.

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, but before we dive into all those good

questions for the audience that might

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not have heard of you before, can you

just share maybe a little bit of your

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background, who you are, so those

new listeners can learn about you.

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Yep.

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Absolutely.

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So, um, many moons ago I was on

America's Next Top Model and I did

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that whole reality TV thing and I

was on season or cycle three, that's

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what they call it, uh, of that show.

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And at this point in my life,

I was a good almost 10 years

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into living away from my faith.

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I was born and raised Catholic, um,

grew up in the church, grew up with

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all the things that you're told.

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But about, you know, high school ish

time, uh, I just made some mistakes

45

that I thought were unredeemable

and I thought, well, that's it.

46

That's it's it for me, man.

47

I missed the boat.

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Like there's nothing good for me left.

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Uh, no, no good.

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Like there's not going to be some great

dream guy waiting for me saying, yeah,

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I want you because of what I had done.

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And I just thought,

well, that's it, I guess.

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I guess, you know, because I was raised

in the church, because I was raised

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with knowing right from wrong, even if

I didn't understand anything behind it,

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I was, I was raised in the faith and

I was raised with really good parents.

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Like I'm really blessed.

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I have a great upbringing.

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Um, you know, two parents, In the same

home who loved each other, stuck it out.

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You know, I mean, took us to

church every single Sunday.

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We had like the reserved pew in church.

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We were that family, you

know, like that was just it.

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So when I made all these mistakes,

it was, it just felt like, Oh yeah.

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You see, mercy is for the

people who just didn't know.

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And mercies for the people who, um,

are just not like you, like you were

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given everything and you screwed up.

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So that was the voice of the

enemy and I listened to that.

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So that kind of led me on a path

that just is that just, I just

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thought like, okay, I guess this

just isn't the place for me anymore.

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Like, Church isn't home for me.

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So you, we all want to belong.

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We desperately want to belong.

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You look at social media,

look at the comment sections

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on anybody's post anywhere.

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Like so many people who are creating

division because they're wanting to belong

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to a certain group or a thought group

or, uh, uh, any type of social group,

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whatever it is, but we want belonging.

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And so when Uh, you feel

like you don't belong.

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You're going to find people.

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You're going to find a group.

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You're going to find a way of life.

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You're going to find something

that helps you belong.

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And so that's kind of what I did.

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And that just put me on a path,

which led many years later to

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me thinking, Hey, let's audition

for America's next top model.

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This seems like a great idea.

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Like what a great way to live my life.

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Yeah.

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To be objectified in front

of millions of people.

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Maybe even billions of people,

you know, around the world.

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Like this is great.

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So I did.

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I was on cycle three and it

was everything that you would

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probably expect reality TV to be.

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It's dramatic.

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It's ridiculous.

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It's most of the things that they

present to you on TV are complete.

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Um, It's like there's like a little

element of truth of what they show, but

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the way that they show it, it's just,

it's not the way it actually went down.

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And uh, you know, that's

probably another episode, but

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it was just a really wild time.

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So I was on the show, I was eliminated

from America's Next Top Model.

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I decide, okay, well

what am I going to do?

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Like I didn't win.

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Um, and knowing me and my personality,

it's just like, then try again.

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Just keep going.

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Like, it's going to work

for you at some point.

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Like, don't give up.

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I've always had that mentality.

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Don't give up no matter who

tells you, no, don't give up.

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Um, it doesn't matter

what other people say.

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And for better or for worse, I have

this, this part of my personality.

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So I was like, I'm going to keep going.

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I know I relate all the way.

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Yeah.

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You either go forward or you go home.

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Right.

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And I mean, I wasn't going to go home,

so we're going to keep going big.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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No.

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So I stayed in New York and I found

myself a place to live and I decided

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I am going to keep doing this.

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If I went on this stupid TV show and said

I was going to be some fashion model,

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I'm going to be some fashion model.

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And I, and I did that.

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So I, I did that.

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I got jobs.

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I was, I was working, I did New York

fashion week and I was doing all

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the things that I was climbing the

ladder, so to speak in that space.

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And, um, uh, you know, getting a

paycheck, my paycheck had a comma in it.

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My picture was on the billboards in

times square is on the side of taxi cabs.

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So I'm walking around New York

city at this point, you know?

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Um, and.

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And this is in the early 2000s.

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I know this is like a long, like just,

just so long ago at this point, it's

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crazy to think about, but you're walking

around and, you know, social media

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hadn't hit yet, you have to remember

this, like social media wasn't there.

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Like.

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AOL chat was going on.

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So like, I don't even know if you

have a listener who can even relate

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to what I just the words I just said.

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I don't think I had one.

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Yeah.

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So I mean, I didn't either, but

like, like there were forums and

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chat boards where people would go

online to comment about other people.

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And it was kind of like in

this secluded place on the

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internet, but it was still there.

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And, um, Okay.

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I mean, you know, just going through

that show and I remember going

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to one of those forums and seeing

what strangers all around the

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world had to say about me was just

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There's nothing like a punch to the

gut than reading about strangers who

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have Such hateful things to say about

you and they don't know you they I mean

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and the things that they would say um

I mean, there were people telling me to

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kill myself because of how I look and I

said, no, like, like it's, it's intense.

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I mean, I say that, so it's not just

like, you're not pretty, like who cares

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about that stuff, but it's other things.

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There's people talking about your

character and your integrity and if

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you should even exist on the planet.

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And that was this, Window into,

you know, I guess the experience

161

that unfortunately, a lot of

people have today on social media.

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So, I, I just, you

know, kept my head down.

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I was going to keep going, um, living

in New York and I, it looked like

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everything was good because if you

saw the billboards and you saw the

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taxi cabs and all right, you made it.

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And you saw me on TV, um, and then

you'd have some people recognize

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you like, weren't you on that show?

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That's on right now.

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You know, um, it makes you feel like

it makes you feel like you're somebody

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and it makes you feel like you belong.

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But then you're like, but like

where, like who do I belong to?

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Like, what's that group?

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I mean, and there's a lot of longing

and a lot of loneliness going on, but I

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had to pretend that everything was fine.

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So anyway, a lot of

that was stirring in me.

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Again, I'm not practicing my

faith whatsoever at this point.

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Right.

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Whatsoever.

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Um, I had abandoned it.

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This is about 10 years in now.

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Um, I've abandoned my faith completely.

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It's not that I did not believe in God.

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I was not an atheist.

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I was not agnostic.

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It

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Leah Darrow: was just on the back burner.

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Mari Wagner: If yeah, if it even was

there, you know, it was just, it was

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just like, it was a blip of my past.

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It was like if somebody said something

and it was religious or spiritually based.

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I'm like, Oh yeah, I think I

know what you're talking about.

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I was raised Catholic.

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Leah Darrow: Like

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Mari Wagner: it was this thing that

happened to me in the past and you

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know, I didn't go into it, but it

was just like, yeah, it's just,

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it's, it didn't carry through.

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And I think that's really, it's where

a lot of people find themselves in

197

is, um, no, don't know how to quite

identify with that old group because

198

of clearly you have a conscience and

you have enough intellect to know that.

199

You don't practice that anymore,

but you, but you were raised that.

200

So it's just a quick thing to say

like, Oh yeah, I was raised this way.

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So I under, I can, I can, I can

pick up on the conversation.

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Well, anyway, so all this kind

of culminates into this photo

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shoot that I was asked to do.

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So I was asked to do this photo shoot

for this international magazine.

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It was supposed to really help my career.

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And so I agreed to do it, of course.

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And, um, it was, you know, in the photo

shoot where, um, We were changing sets.

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And so they were changing the

set and getting everything ready.

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And there's just a lot of people in

this big warehouse, you know, and,

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um, Upper East side of New York.

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And, uh, we're getting everything

ready and, and they do hair and

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makeup and everything else on me.

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And so they're, they're priming me and I'm

changing outfits and I'm coming back in.

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And I remember the, okay, Leah stands

here and we just need to take a picture

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really quick, just to check like

lightning, to see what it looks like.

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And they took a Polaroid.

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So they have like these spots where

you're supposed to stand and get

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into your pose and do your work.

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And so I did that.

220

They took a Polaroid and they

showed me so that I would remember,

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like, I need to make sure that my

feet are right here at this spot.

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I said, yeah, okay, I got it.

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And I gave the Polaroid back to them.

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Um, and we started up with the shoot.

225

And then the first, the first shot that

the photographer took for me in that

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pose, um, I just made the rookie move

and I looked straight into the flash

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instead of the lens, which is like,

this is a really bad rookie move because

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there's a lot of flashes going on here

at this time of, of, um, uh, experience.

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And I had to hold up my handles like,

hold on a second, hold on a second.

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Um, and they knew what was going on.

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Like, I clearly like, you know.

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Head stars in my eyes.

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And I was just blinking as fast

as I could to regain my focus.

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And it was in that moment of regaining

my focus where I saw myself inside

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my head, like a little movie was

playing and it wasn't like a big deal.

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Like I just saw myself and it was just

like the picture that they had just

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shown me, like the Polaroid pictures.

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I was like, it's, I

mean, that was just it.

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Um, but I did notice that my

hands were cupped together

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like this, like at my waist.

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And then I was raising them up to.

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Give them to somebody.

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And then I saw Alton up above me,

the shadowy profile of a man's face.

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And this is all my head.

245

It's like a little movie

is playing once again.

246

Um, so it's like the shadowy

profile of a man's face.

247

And I raised my hands and I give them

to him and he just looked at them and

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bowed in his head and disappointment.

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And I pulled my hands right back down to

my waist to see what was so disappointing.

250

Um, and they were just completely empty.

251

Like they were just empty.

252

And there were five words I

heard in my heart at that point.

253

And.

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And again, all of this is happening

within a matter of 60 seconds.

255

Keep that in mind.

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This is all very, very fast.

257

Um, it's just all in my head.

258

And

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Leah Darrow: I heard,

but I heard five words.

260

And

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these seem to be even more real

than what I saw in my head.

262

And it just, the five words that

I heard were, I made you for more.

263

Even when I say it, like, it just, I like

start crying immediately when I say it.

264

And I've told this story, I've been

on stages for 15 plus years now.

265

I know.

266

Thousands of times.

267

Thousands.

268

I don't even know.

269

I don't even, I couldn't even count

how many times I've shared this.

270

It's so many and it still gets me.

271

I've even heard these words.

272

I've even heard you share this story live

like maybe three times and every time

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it pierces my heart too, because it just

shows the heart of the father, like what

274

you said earlier about how you thought,

you know, mercy was just for the people

275

who were, who didn't know, like, that

just proves like, that's so not true.

276

Like, the father has a heart for every

single one of his children and here he

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was, you know, reaching out for you.

278

Yeah, yeah, and I heard it five times.

279

I made you for more.

280

Mari Wagner: I made you

281

Leah Darrow: for more.

282

Mari Wagner: And then the last two times,

the emphasis to me, I heard it more on the

283

first part, which was I made you for more.

284

And it just kind of, to

me, it reminded me of

285

Leah Darrow: You didn't do this.

286

You didn't make yourself.

287

I know you think you're making your life,

but I'm, I made you, and I have a plan

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for you, and this is not the plan I had

for you, and then that's just like, a

289

fact, it's just the truth, it's just a

statement, and it's just, we have, we

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have to react, respond to that, we have

to respond with an action to that truth.

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And I just stood there.

292

I remember I kind of came out of it cause

I heard snapping from the photographer.

293

And he's like, Leah, come on, let's focus.

294

Let's let, let's get back into it.

295

And I remember just being like,

looking around being like, I

296

think I want to do this anymore.

297

And they were like, what?

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And I'm like, um,

299

I got to go.

300

And they're like, Oh,

301

no, no, you see, you

don't get to choose that.

302

Like, I know you think you're special

being the model, but you're not.

303

And you have to stay and finish the job.

304

Like you have the

contract, we've signed it.

305

There's legal things.

306

You're already here in makeup.

307

We've already finished half of it.

308

You're going to finish it.

309

And I was like, no, I'm not,

I'm not going, I'm not going to.

310

And I just, I just knew, I just

knew the right thing to do.

311

And when you know the right

thing to do in a moment.

312

It's, you know, you can offer whatever

you want to somebody, but they're,

313

you know, if they're, if they're

stuck on the right thing, they're

314

not gonna, they're not gonna falter.

315

So I just threw off their

clothes, put on mine.

316

They were talking, they

had people coming up to me.

317

They sent like the hair and makeup ladies

over to me like, Hey, come on, it's okay.

318

Everybody feels like

this in the beginning.

319

You're going to get more used

to it because they didn't

320

know what was going on.

321

They didn't know why I was

picking up and leaving obviously.

322

Um, I just grabbed all my stuff.

323

I remember just grabbing things and, um,

clutching on myself and just like going to

324

this big, big warehouse, warehouse door.

325

It just felt like this big block

of cement, but it's like this big

326

metal door and I was opening it and I

remember the photographer was standing

327

in the back and he was just pissed.

328

I mean, like not happy, not

happy at all that I ruined his,

329

his

330

day.

331

And now he's got to go back and tell

other people like, Hey, our model

332

just just walked out on the shoot.

333

Um, But he just said, if you leave,

I remember turning around at the door

334

because his, his voice is so piercing.

335

He goes, if you leave, you'll be a nobody.

336

I'll make sure of it.

337

If you leave, you'll be a nobody.

338

And I looked at him and I

just said, do you promise?

339

And, um, he just like, Like what?

340

Yeah.

341

So do you

342

promise?

343

And then he, I mean, they didn't respond.

344

Everyone just stood there like, what?

345

And I just walked out.

346

So I walked out and I walked out that

door, got into the open air of New York

347

as open air as it could be in that city.

348

But you go, and I just remember just

walking down fifth Avenue, crying

349

like crazy, you know, mascaras

just dripping down my face cause

350

all the makeup they put on you.

351

Um, And I remember just

thinking, what am I going to do?

352

I think I just left my whole career.

353

I think I just walked out.

354

I think that was like a symbolic

walking out of everything I'm doing.

355

I think that's, I think that's

what's happening right now.

356

Um, and you know, um, so I got, I got

home, I got to my apartment and, um, I

357

did the only, anything, the only thing

that a girl could do, you know, I mean,

358

I, um, I called my dad and, uh, I called

home and I called my dad and my dad

359

answered and I said, um, if you don't come

and get me, I'm going to lose my soul.

360

And that's all that I said.

361

I didn't even say hello.

362

And there was this long pause.

363

Um, You After I said that to

my dad, I mean, it was long.

364

I don't, I don't know what it

was, but it felt so uncomfortable.

365

It was, I just thought, I

don't know, I don't know what

366

he's going to say, you know.

367

At this point, they knew that I had

been very away from the faith for

368

quite a while, and that I wasn't

practicing, and I wasn't living

369

a life at all close to anything

resembling somebody with morality.

370

Like, it, it, It was so obvious.

371

Like they, I was the talk of the

Thanksgiving dinners of praying

372

for like, how many novenas are

you going to start for that girl?

373

Because like I was the one that

they said all their novenas for,

374

um, well, praise God for that.

375

When he, yeah.

376

I mean, you know, I mean, I

guess if gossip helps somebody

377

pray, I mean, go for it, I guess.

378

But, um, I don't know what you're walking

a fine line there, but yeah, but, but,

379

but, but there, but there were, there

were very, sincere people praying for me.

380

Yeah.

381

And, and that was definitely needed.

382

Um, cause I couldn't pray for myself.

383

I couldn't pray for anything.

384

And, but when my dad finally, you

know, spoke, he just said, um, okay.

385

All right, baby, I'm coming to get you.

386

And then my dad drove 2000 miles

and he came and he picked me up.

387

I mean, he literally drove, um, yeah,

388

and get me and he got me and he got to

my doorstep, he knocked on the door.

389

And at this point I'm like a,

I am like a stupid hot mess.

390

Like we're talking, it was bad.

391

Um, and I know that we've all had moments

like this, but this was definitely like

392

the low, one of the lowest of the lows.

393

I'm still to this day, I've ever

experienced before and I get to the door

394

and I'm, I mean, I'm just done and he sees

me and I open up the door and he's got his

395

hands out, like totally stretched out and

he like leans in, he kind of jumps at me

396

and he's like, I am so happy to see you.

397

And he's like, before we leave New

York, I'm going to go to central park

398

and I want to go to Carnegie deli

and eat this big Reuben sandwich and

399

blah, and I'm like, uh, what, what?

400

What?

401

What?

402

I'm like, do you know why you're here?

403

I am the screw up.

404

I failed.

405

I didn't make it.

406

I have been a horrible example

to my five younger brothers and

407

sisters most of my entire life.

408

I have been the reason why you

have been in tears and praying and

409

on your knees for the past year.

410

10 years.

411

I have made every horrible decision.

412

To be honest with you, I can't believe

I haven't died from my whole lifestyle

413

that I've been living lately and that

you're not picking me up at a morgue.

414

So why would you be happy?

415

Like, I'm almost angry.

416

Like, right.

417

You can't be happy to see me.

418

Like I'm such a mess up.

419

Like you don't get to be happy.

420

You know, you don't get

to be happy about me.

421

Like, no one should be happy about me.

422

No one, like, I'm not happy about me.

423

I haven't been happy about me for years.

424

I'm an angry, bitter, cynical,

sarcastic, vain girl who is stuck in

425

a rut and doesn't know how to get out.

426

Like, how would you, why

would you want to be happy to

427

see me?

428

And I can't get any of that out.

429

Cause I was like, what?

430

And he's like, yeah, I'm like, okay.

431

So you want to go get

a sandwich at a park?

432

And he's like, yeah.

433

So I grabbed my keys

and I'm like, um, okay.

434

I mean, my dad's a hungry guy, but.

435

I'm just thinking this is a really

awkward time to be hungry, but okay, fine.

436

We'll go get this sandwich.

437

So I'm trying to leave and he is not

leaving the doorframe of my apartment.

438

He's like, he never

entered into my apartment.

439

All of this conversation is

taking place at the doorframe.

440

And so he, um, he just doesn't move.

441

And I said, dad, let's go,

let's go get that sandwich

442

that you really want to have.

443

And he's like, yes, but first, first.

444

We go to confession.

445

Oh, and that's when I melted

into a puddle on the floor.

446

I was like, oh

447

Okay

448

That won't

449

work for me, right?

450

I mean, you know back in

ten years more, right?

451

That's crazy Yeah, yeah.

452

Mari Wagner: Um, I remember passing

by churches in New York on a

453

Sunday and smelling incense and

I would stop for a quick second,

454

you know, and look at the door and

just be like, I had good memories.

455

I just didn't think I

belonged anymore there.

456

So I never went back in and uh, yeah.

457

Yeah, and that's all, I

mean, it's so many things.

458

It's pride, it's shame, it's, um,

fear, um, it's change, you know?

459

I mean, we're, we, we either

look for change or we run

460

away from change in our life.

461

And that's kind of how you can tell

the difference between somebody

462

who's growth mindseted or not,

has a growth mindset or not.

463

It's like, do you, do you,

do you look for change?

464

Or do you run away from it?

465

Because we're, we like being

comfortable, you know, we, we do.

466

And that's not always a bad

thing, but we're not meant to

467

stay in any state or place.

468

We're not even, this isn't even

our home, where we are right now.

469

Right.

470

Um, we're meant for something greater.

471

So, there's gonna be a very big change

happening in all of our lives at death

472

and, Every little change we experience

here on earth prepares us a little

473

bit for those bigger changes And I

think it was just so much of that

474

fear because when you accept truth

475

Leah Darrow: and you accept mercy

476

It asks you to change

477

It's kind of like the assumption that

like okay, so we're starting over but

478

not to go back You start over to move

beyond to try something different Right.

479

Um, so my dad said confession.

480

Yeah.

481

I mean, um, it was really scary, but,

uh, And again, he wouldn't let me

482

talk before I could even say anything.

483

He knows me well enough.

484

He was just like, look, you

were the one that called and you

485

said you wanted to come home.

486

I'm, I'm, I'm here to take you home.

487

And Jesus is home.

488

And if you want to go anywhere else,

you can call Southwest Airlines.

489

So, um, That was it.

490

That was it.

491

Like that, that was the beginning

of me coming back to faith.

492

It was the beginning of

me, uh, restarting my life.

493

It was the beginning of

me having a new life.

494

Um, there's, you know, we all have

these demarcations in our life of

495

different moments where it's like

you, like life was never the same

496

after that one thing happened.

497

And this is one of them for me.

498

Life was never the same

after this happened.

499

It was like, okay.

500

This is really hitting that reset button.

501

This is like, okay, like,

let's look at our life.

502

Let's see what we're doing.

503

Let's see what we're not doing.

504

What do I need to change?

505

What thinking do I need to change?

506

What thoughts do I need to change?

507

Which actions, all of it.

508

And so that became that moment.

509

And then from there, um, what a lot

of people now know me for in public

510

speaking in my work and what I'm

currently doing now is all after that

511

moment of that demarcation, right?

512

So it's from there, it was, you know, um,

I spent about three years just working on

513

myself, like what I call spiritual rehab.

514

Like I was just in deep spiritual

rehab and, um, trying to untangle all

515

of this stuff that got tangled up, um,

over those 10 years of what I thought

516

about myself, what I thought about

God, what I thought about faith, what

517

I thought about the church, um, what

I thought about men, um, sin, shame.

518

Learning how to forgive, learning

how to let go, learning how

519

to appreciate my future enough

to make it affect my present.

520

And that just kind of led from all of

that after about three years, which I

521

had no intention of this whole life that

I'm doing right now of ever happening.

522

Um, but there was an opportunity for

me that I did not create, um, where

523

I, it was for me to share my story.

524

And then that opportunity

rolled into another one

525

and

526

then another one and then I

was like, okay, I think I'm, I

527

guess this is what I'm doing.

528

This is what I'm doing.

529

Is this what I'm doing?

530

I don't know.

531

What's this what I'm doing?

532

So, so I just started public speaking.

533

I started sharing my story and then

that kind of started developing

534

into the work that I'm doing now.

535

And then, um, and here

I am now and I've got a.

536

Now I do personal development and

I actually do business coaching.

537

So it's just moved.

538

It's kind of evolved

all throughout the time.

539

And so here I am.

540

That was a really long intro, but

hopefully you can edit that to make

541

it background info that we needed,

but no, your story is so beautiful.

542

Thank you for sharing that.

543

I think that it's so

relatable on so many levels.

544

Um, Whether, you know, you too,

you know, listening are the New

545

York model, which I feel like

that's not most listeners, right?

546

But I think that there's something

that like every woman can relate to,

547

you know, I've heard it being called

like the God sized hole in you and

548

especially like, we talked about the

beginning, like our personalities,

549

like dreamer, go getter, like, there's

just this like innate desire, I think,

550

in women to like, To be great, right?

551

To be seen as beautiful to like live

up to this, like gift that the Lord has

552

given them to live up to this potential.

553

And it feels like your story, like

that's what you were trying to do.

554

Like wherever you were placed,

you were trying to reach that

555

call, reach that given potential

that the Lord placed upon you.

556

And because of where.

557

Your maybe values were or your eyes

were set on it was being misplaced and

558

I think that's something that a lot

of us can relate to at some point in

559

our life of just like I'm Trying to

make it or I'm trying to do it, right?

560

Or I'm trying to like be the best that

I can or maybe maybe you're not trying

561

but you even want to and you wish You

could and you just don't quite know

562

Where to place it or you just don't

quite know where exactly it is that the

563

Lord is it's calling you to reach that

so Let's, let's start, like, real simple

564

here, like, what does it even mean,

right, to reach your God given potential?

565

I think, like, this sounds kind of

intimidating, and some people might

566

be like, Oh, I don't know, like,

God maybe doesn't have that big, you

567

know, a big plan, like, that for me.

568

But everybody has a God given potential

and a plan, so what does that really mean?

569

Yeah.

570

I mean, so it's going to be

completely unique and, you know, and

571

unrepeatable for every single person.

572

So like, like just calm down when

you ask yourself this question

573

because you inevitably will want to

naturally compare something about

574

somebody else and what they're doing.

575

And then you, and listen, maybe

somebody, somebody's inspired you.

576

Maybe they're, maybe they're,

they're living out their God given

577

potential and you're like, yeah.

578

Yeah.

579

Yeah.

580

What's mine?

581

Is mine just like that?

582

Probably not.

583

Even if it's the same thing, you're going

to do it in a different way, you know?

584

So your God given potential is you

being fully you with God and it's

585

allowing God to fully work in you

and being very comfortable in that

586

and doing that from a place of

sincerity and humility and service.

587

So any, I, it's so common.

588

It's such a common.

589

One of my biggest pet peeves is this very

common phrase that I'm going to share with

590

you now, and what you, you kind of touched

on it, which is when somebody talks

591

about this, like, what is your potential?

592

Like, what is God?

593

Um, like what, what, what do

you think God wants from you?

594

Or are you, um, his plan for your life?

595

Uh, the common phrase,

like, Oh, I don't know.

596

Like there, there's no plan for me.

597

I'm just like, stop one.

598

You are completely, you're

completely negating scripture,

599

which is the word of God.

600

So you're wrong.

601

You're just so wrong.

602

It's not funny.

603

And you have to stop lying to yourself

to make yourself comfortable because for

604

you to step out and become who you are

is going to make you so uncomfortable.

605

And you're scared of what may people

may think or say of you deal with

606

that, but don't deal with this crap

that God doesn't have a plan for you.

607

Like it's nonsense.

608

And it is a, it's a, it's a

crutch of faith that people use.

609

To not fully be all that they can be.

610

And when we talk about be all that you

can be and be all that you can be with

611

God, it does not mean that you have to

go and abandon all of the people God's

612

given you to go out into the world

and do something completely secular.

613

That's also something else.

614

Like when you think about like

achieving your dreams or your plans

615

or the plans, God has God given, given

each one of us that are unique to us.

616

It doesn't necessarily mean that you have

to go and like be an entrepreneur or go

617

be a missionary like no Actually that that

might not be it But there is a plan and

618

there are these things that we are called

to do and so much of our plans that God

619

gives Us to do are hidden And there, no

one sees them except for a few people.

620

Definitely God.

621

I mean, the most interesting thing

about me has nothing to do with

622

my public persona, has nothing to

do with my Instagram, has nothing

623

to do with the programs I run.

624

It's the least interesting thing about me.

625

Like I've got so many more interesting

things that I do that God's given me plans

626

for that I'm doing right now, but you

don't know them and you don't see them

627

because their plans for me and my life and

my children, my husband and our farm, you

628

It's, we're, we're multifaceted.

629

So I think we need to, again,

calm down about this whole

630

like dream and plan thing.

631

Cause we get so overworked, like if I

don't know what the whole plan is, then

632

I don't, then I don't know what to do.

633

Then I'll, then I'll never know.

634

And a lot of times what God gives

us is little bits of breadcrumbs.

635

He sometimes doesn't reveal the whole

thing right away, but what, what do

636

you think is your next best step?

637

What do you think is your next

best step in your life to really

638

becoming fully you as God?

639

Amen.

640

For you to engage in his divine

energy and power and work in your

641

life with him What do you think is

like your next best step like today?

642

What could you do today?

643

And if you start there it will begin to

the plan will be revealed to you and a lot

644

of times that plan is something where it's

going to be very similar to What we read

645

in the gospels of peter calling out to

or jesus calling out to peter in the boat

646

saying, you know Step out of the boat.

647

Um You Peter had no idea

what was the next move.

648

He had no idea.

649

He's like, he's just calling me out

of this boat and it doesn't seem like

650

I should be walking on the water.

651

I mean, it does.

652

I mean, I see him doing it, but I

don't see, this doesn't make sense.

653

And if Peter would stick, if, if,

if we were Peter, we would never

654

would have gotten out of the boat.

655

Right, but when you start keeping your

focus on Christ and know that you know

656

what I'm gonna step out of this boat I'm

gonna do the thing that's uncomfortable.

657

I'm gonna do the thing

that's a little scary.

658

I'm gonna start when I'm not ready I'm

gonna start and it's gonna be messy and I

659

might I might fall God's there picking you

up and he's gonna redirect you and I think

660

we kind of forget that God's a part of

this plan and When we forget that God's a

661

part of the plan, we put too much control

and responsibility on our shoulders.

662

But Christ says, take my yoke upon you.

663

And when he talks about that,

if you just remember what a

664

yoke is, it's for two people.

665

It's not for one.

666

So he's not saying, Hey, take my yoke.

667

I'm going to, I'm going

to get out of here.

668

I think you can handle on your

own like he's not doing that.

669

He's saying no be under the yoke with me

So if this is the plan for our life, then

670

we have to trust that god will redirect

us and recalibrate us when we take a

671

step That's not quite right or didn't

seem like it was the right way to go.

672

Like god's god.

673

Just let him be him You be

you And just take some action.

674

Absolutely.

675

No, I agree with that so much.

676

And I think where people might get stuck

with that is sometimes we feel like we

677

hear that call or we kind of feel that

call and it's not super clear, you know?

678

It's kind of like a Holy Spirit

nudge of like, this is the way, or

679

like, take that leap, or, you know?

680

And I think even though

we feel that, we doubt it.

681

And we're like, Lord, is this really you?

682

Or like, how do I know for sure?

683

Like, God, can you give me a

sign that this is actually you?

684

Like, I actually need to know.

685

So what are maybe some of those,

like, concrete or practical things

686

people can do if they feel that nudge

or if they're ready to take a step?

687

Like, what do they really do to go for it?

688

Yep.

689

Yep.

690

Absolutely.

691

So I'll take you through a few steps.

692

Actually go through this in

detail inside of power me.

693

Perfect.

694

We have like a whole session on this

and it's, it's the, the, the title of

695

that session actually is, is how, um,

uh, our decisions determine our success.

696

And.

697

What type of decisions we make will

determine obviously what, where

698

we're going and what we're doing.

699

It sounds obvious, but we get really

stuck of like, is this God's will?

700

Should I do this?

701

Should I not do this?

702

And then you like get into like this

thought loop and you never get out of it.

703

That's a.

704

Tactic of the enemy, number

one, is just to sit there.

705

So kind of keep in mind like

you're in spiritual warfare

706

when you're in that space.

707

So it doesn't mean necessarily to go

and do that thing, but you're in the

708

middle of spiritual warfare, whether you

do that thing or you not do that thing.

709

So one, you have to figure out, like,

to be honest with you, a lot of these

710

decisions that we have to make are

usually amoral, meaning they're not like

711

these grave moments of like, should I?

712

Should I hurt this person and stab

him with the pencil or should I not?

713

Like, okay.

714

But I think you have a problem if you

don't know the answer to that right away.

715

Right.

716

But a lot of the questions

that we have are amoral.

717

So they don't have a huge

weight to them morally speaking.

718

And that might relieve people just

to know that, you know, just be

719

like, okay, I can make a decision.

720

And if it doesn't work

out, it'll be all right.

721

You know, um, so you have to

figure out like one, does this

722

follow God's commandments?

723

Or does it not so literally you'll

pull up your ten commandments and

724

you're going to go through This

idea that I have to do this thing.

725

Is it an alignment with

god's law and love for me?

726

Let's just say that it is now you're

going to move on to Is this an alignment?

727

With my state or vocation in life

So, you know if one of my it's

728

not but if one of my dreams was I

want to be Delta Airlines pilot.

729

I that's that's it.

730

It's all I want to do right now.

731

I would say is this does this follow

God's, you know, Ten Commandments,

732

you know, I might get away

with saying, yeah, okay, it is.

733

And then I go to that second one and

be like, does it align with your state?

734

And vocation and life.

735

And I'm like, well, let's see.

736

I'm a wife.

737

I got a lot of kids at home.

738

Don't think me leaving for pilot

school and then taking a job or

739

I'm a full time pilot is going

to be the best for that vocation.

740

So then it stops me right there.

741

That's an extreme example, but you have

to see like, what does, how does this

742

affect my vocation and state in life?

743

What are the positives?

744

What are the benefits, pros and cons?

745

And then from there, it's,

it's, is this bringing me peace?

746

Is there, is there peace about it when

I can put away what other people think

747

about it, when I can put away the fears

I have of failing in front of others?

748

Does it bring me peace?

749

Does it bring me joy?

750

Like, is there something deep within

there that I can say yes to or no to?

751

And then from there, like sometimes

like those three easy steps are just

752

a quick way to like check yourself and

then decide, okay, what would be the

753

smallest first step I could make in the

direction of this dream or goal or plan?

754

Then you take that and you just

need to get more information.

755

A lot of times we just stay up in our

head with our ideas and we don't do

756

enough practical applied knowledge.

757

So, okay.

758

Um, you, you, maybe you want to change

careers or you want to change schools.

759

Like, okay, have, have you

interned at this new job that

760

you're thinking About doing?

761

Have you visited that school?

762

Have you, um, whatever it might be.

763

Blake, have you done anything?

764

Have you taken any action that

doesn't require a permanent

765

step in that direction, but get

you more information about it?

766

And those are the things that you can

do practically to kind of start to

767

see, um, how much more you understand

that this new dream of yours, and

768

if it's still something that you're

very excited about, even after you

769

start taking these steps through it.

770

Yeah, no, that's beautiful.

771

Thank you for sharing all that.

772

It makes me excited.

773

I want to take a look at that whole

section of your, of your course.

774

I think Those are such good questions.

775

I've never thought about before

but like you said like basics, but

776

like they help you make decisions

And I think so many people struggle

777

with decision making these days.

778

It's like Especially big decisions.

779

They're like paralyzing, you know,

and it's just like, Oh my gosh, like

780

what if I make the right decision

or what I hear a lot is like,

781

what if I make the wrong decision?

782

Like, is that going to

screw up God's plan for me?

783

Or like, am I not going to find the person

for me if I choose this instead of this?

784

And in the end, you know what

you're seeing is like discernment

785

takes action and you like taking a

step in whatever direction, right?

786

With prayer, like you said, like with

discernment, um, not just like randomly.

787

But, like, the Lord works with us and,

like, has given us that will and intellect

788

and, like, we can't mess up God's plan.

789

That's just impossible, you know, and he

works with our life and even, like, your

790

story, you're saying that, like, the, for

all those years, like, you were away and,

791

like, you know, you can say, like, oh, my

gosh, I messed up the life God had for me.

792

But.

793

But look at you now, like the Lord

works with everything that we give

794

him and all those small yeses that

lead to bigger yeses that we give him

795

to craft this amazing story for our

lives, um, that will sanctify us and

796

hopefully those around us as well.

797

So that was really beautiful.

798

Um, sometimes, you know, we put

limitations on ourselves, even when

799

we're taking these steps, or we

start to hear these voices in our

800

head and we start to believe, you

know, things that might hold us back.

801

Um, what is your advice?

802

To how to overcome these

things, these voices or these

803

limiting beliefs that we have.

804

Yeah.

805

Oh boy.

806

I love this.

807

I love talking about limiting beliefs.

808

I have, um, I'm actually gonna be

putting it out again really soon.

809

I have a free masterclass on limiting

beliefs and it is It is so good.

810

It is so good because I'm just like,

man, how many limiting beliefs do we

811

hold on to that are running our lives?

812

It's very possible that your life

is not being run by you, but it's

813

being run by your limiting beliefs.

814

And that's why you're so

darn unhappy in your life.

815

It's not because you've necessarily

chosen it, but you've let your limiting

816

beliefs run amok and they're on autopilot.

817

Transcribed And you just, we have to

stop that those voices of limitation and

818

really see like, what is God calling?

819

God is calling to us in scripture.

820

He calls us to renew our mind.

821

He calls us to not listen to the lies.

822

He calls us to keep

our minds set on truth.

823

This I mean, okay.

824

If you call yourself a Christian, you've

entered into the greatest personal

825

development program in the world, by

the way, so don't tell me you don't

826

like personal development because if

you call yourself a Christian, you

827

like, you are a, you're a member,

you've got the jacket, you're wearing

828

the pen, like, it's done, okay?

829

Christ shows us the way.

830

I mean, I kind of joke

around in my in my program.

831

My Paul is like one of the

first personal development

832

coaches, life coaches out there.

833

I mean, he's constantly talking to the

people right of Corinth and everything

834

else saying, what are you doing?

835

Do this.

836

You were doing that.

837

Like he is.

838

Coaching us in this space and Christ

gives us the entire plan in the whole way.

839

So limiting beliefs.

840

Let's let's go back to that one

Okay, there is there's a lot

841

of talk around limiting beliefs

and around personal development.

842

That's really unhelpful.

843

That's not very helpful So there's

all this toxic positivity of like,

844

you know what you can do anything

you can accomplish anything talk

845

to the universe Where's your mom?

846

I'm like, okay.

847

Well, okay Talk to the creator of the

universe that might be more beneficial

848

for you than the thing he created, right?

849

Um, and then two, we have to use truth.

850

So when it comes to eliminating

belief, you have to acknowledge it.

851

You cannot pretend it doesn't exist.

852

You can't, um, just shoo it away.

853

You have to say, Oh, okay.

854

This is a limiting belief like

where is the truth in this belief?

855

And then you really try to find the

truth and like what's gonna happen is

856

that possibly in these limiting beliefs

you're gonna want to support it because

857

Subconsciously if you do that it keeps

you from from this taking massive

858

action in your life And our brains are

meant to are meant for survival So it

859

wants you to just survive, but Christ

calls us to elevate our minds to him.

860

So we have to be able to say,

okay, where's the truth in this?

861

Is this statement, would this

statement literally come out of

862

the mouth of Christ or would it

come out of the mouth of Satan?

863

And that's usually a

really big help, right?

864

It'd be like, would Christ say this to me?

865

In truth, would he say it to me

with his lips, with his words, where

866

nothing out of his mouth could ever

be anything but perfectly true?

867

Would he say this?

868

Would he say it like that?

869

Would he say it with that tone?

870

Would he say it with that emphasis?

871

Would he say it like that?

872

And you have to be really honest

with yourself with that one limiting

873

belief that you're working on in

this moment of like, is that really

874

something that Christ would say to me?

875

Now, would, is this something that

the enemy would say, say to me?

876

And then where does that belief,

what does that belief turn into?

877

If that luminum belief turns into

something where it puts you into a

878

pit of despair, where it puts you into

the point of like, ugh, I'm the worst.

879

I'm like, the, I'm like, I'm not smart.

880

I'm not, I'm like, you

know, whatever it is.

881

If that leads you down a path of

depression or despair or anxiety or

882

fear, We know right away that the, the,

the root of that is not from Christ.

883

And so it's just taking that

time to be able to discern like,

884

what are these limiting beliefs?

885

So I talk about limiting beliefs in my

program and I call them muddy puddles.

886

So they're like muddy puddles, right?

887

And you have to learn to

walk around the muddy puddle.

888

You have to like, see

it like, Oh, I see you.

889

I see you.

890

I see that you want to tell me that,

Oh, this always happens to me, right?

891

But it doesn't.

892

It doesn't.

893

And I'm going to choose not to get

into your mess and you walk around

894

it, you choose a different path.

895

So you choose to replace that limiting

belief with an empowering belief,

896

one that's also based in truth,

but it leads you to positivity.

897

It leads you to an empower belief of

that is hopeful and full of truth.

898

And so that's, you just have

to start changing them out.

899

I didn't encourage you for anybody

listening to to take some time

900

and either on your phone and your

notes or something, but create

901

like a locked note for yourself.

902

And anytime you have a

limiting belief, write that.

903

Piece of junk in there and then

later go back and be like I need to

904

reword this I have to reword this

905

and

906

Mari Wagner: you know I think any

anybody who's a mom knows this when

907

you have little kids and They start

talking and they start having ideas

908

about themselves and the first time

you hear them say something that's like

909

a limiting belief You're like what?

910

Like what?

911

Yes, you can do this Of

course you can do this.

912

You know, and then you hear these little

kids, and they say these things like, Oh,

913

I'm never ever going to be good at this.

914

I always screw up.

915

I am the worst.

916

Nobody likes me.

917

I'm never going to have friends.

918

And they say these different phrases,

and it's a really good reminder.

919

I know as me as a mom, it's

taught me that limiting beliefs

920

don't just start in adulthood.

921

They start when we're really young.

922

And there was probably a trigger

to those limiting beliefs.

923

And if you can figure out those triggers,

you might, you might start engaging in

924

some really amazing and deep healing

where you can let go and you can forgive.

925

And even if it's forgiving yourself

for holding onto that limiting belief

926

for so long, even, even if sometimes

those limiting beliefs are given to us.

927

Like we didn't create it.

928

And so that's like a really hard thing,

especially when we might've be raised,

929

we might've been raised in an environment

where limiting beliefs were just the norm.

930

Sarcasm was the norm.

931

And if that's the case, there could

be a lot of limiting beliefs that

932

are actually holding you back.

933

And setting out your future in

front of you in a place where you

934

really don't want to go anymore.

935

So doing a little bit of work,

and it's, it's not a, it's

936

not easy and it's not quick.

937

That's one thing I will say,

like personal development work is

938

something where it's a constant thing.

939

You can learn the tools and the skills.

940

relatively quickly, you

have to apply them daily.

941

So what happens inside the brain,

this is like the neuropsychology

942

part of it, um, of limiting beliefs

is that these, these beliefs become,

943

they become grooves in your brain.

944

And those grooves, the more that you

say it, the more that you think it, and

945

then the more that you act on it, they

become deeper and deeper in your brain.

946

And then they get triggered quite

easily with any type of experience.

947

And then you start, you just, it just

drives like right into that groove.

948

Like, you know, you say that one

thing and you feel that thing and

949

then you do that thing, right?

950

So to change it up, you have to layer

those grooves with that empowering

951

belief over and over and over.

952

And it's a habit you have to create, but

once you start creating it, something will

953

trigger you and you'll start, Oh, going

up to that new level of that new groove.

954

And you'll start doing that.

955

But they show this, um, In

neuropsychology, research, and

956

science, it's really amazing.

957

So it's true, God's made our brains

to work with Him and not against Him.

958

That is amazing.

959

That reminds me, I've, I've been doing

this Bible study with my friends,

960

and one of the things of the Bible

study, one of the things that they,

961

like, ask you to do is to start

doing, like, Biblical declarations.

962

And that was something I had never

really done in my life before.

963

And actually, It was something that I kind

of like, kind of laughed at a little bit.

964

I was like, Oh, wow, that

really works for people.

965

Like seeing all those like positive

thoughts, like, does that really work?

966

And you know, and like girls would

like put the scripture verse on their

967

mirror and like say it in the morning

and be like, I'm empowering myself.

968

And I was always kind of like, Hmm, that

might work for them, but I don't know

969

if that would be powerful enough for me.

970

And I, I just never really tried it.

971

And just recently in this Bible

study, it came up and we all did it.

972

All the girls in the group, we like,

we wrote it down and put it on our

973

mirror or on our phone or whatever.

974

And I just really underestimated

like the power of the word.

975

Okay.

976

Like this wasn't just like

a Pinterest, like, you know,

977

happy quote that I found online.

978

It's like, no, we're using like

the Lord's word in scripture, which

979

like, is like a sword in battle.

980

And in those moments where I was

experiencing like fear or nervousness

981

or anxiety, and like, I would start to

say this scripture verse that I, that I

982

memorized, that was like my declaration.

983

It was like, Physically different,

you know, like a piece wash over me

984

a strength, like a confidence, like

all of a sudden I'm like, no, like

985

I can do all things through Christ.

986

You strengthen to me like it's him.

987

It's not me.

988

So that just reminded me of that because

I love how you're, you're phrasing

989

like, okay, take that limiting belief.

990

Let's rephrase that what is the truth

that the Lord would say to that and

991

like you called it the grooves, right?

992

Like you get into a new groove a

new standard, but it takes practice

993

and it takes Repetitiveness of like

actually seeing that and believing

994

that because I was listening.

995

Maybe it was a Recent podcast of yours

or something like 80 percent of the

996

thoughts we hear in our head or yeah

are negative What negative it does take

997

and we have practice and like repeating

those positive ones over and over again

998

to retrain our brain To know what the

truth is Yeah, we have, we about, we

999

have around average 60, 000 thoughts

a day and 80 percent are negative.

00:50:35,274 --> 00:50:37,024

This is in general for most people.

00:50:37,904 --> 00:50:38,874

You want to know why?

00:50:38,904 --> 00:50:41,504

Like, I don't say you want to know why,

like this is the only answer, but like,

00:50:41,554 --> 00:50:45,704

uh, if you find trouble in your life,

it could just be your thought light.

00:50:45,714 --> 00:50:50,384

Like our, the quality of our life is

determined by the quality of our thoughts.

00:50:51,764 --> 00:50:54,434

Bottom line, the quality of

your life is determined by

00:50:54,444 --> 00:50:55,584

the quality of your thoughts.

00:50:56,104 --> 00:51:01,284

And if our thoughts are not on truth, if

they're not on the things that are above,

00:51:01,294 --> 00:51:07,764

the things that are good, true, and holy,

then your life will be affected by that.

00:51:08,214 --> 00:51:12,389

And the language you use, the language,

oh my gosh, I have, uh, Mari, I have

00:51:12,389 --> 00:51:15,969

a whole, like, section on language

and I love that session so much

00:51:15,969 --> 00:51:19,889

in Power Made Perfect because it's

like, people, your language matters.

00:51:19,919 --> 00:51:22,919

If you walk around, when

everybody asks you, how are you?

00:51:22,919 --> 00:51:23,809

You're like, I'm fine.

00:51:24,229 --> 00:51:24,959

Um, I'm good.

00:51:24,959 --> 00:51:25,449

I'm fine.

00:51:25,469 --> 00:51:28,219

If you use fine for everything,

like, you'll have a fine life.

00:51:28,389 --> 00:51:29,569

Who wants a fine life?

00:51:29,609 --> 00:51:30,939

I want a magnificent life.

00:51:30,989 --> 00:51:33,384

I want like a, Extraordinary life.

00:51:33,724 --> 00:51:37,604

I want a life where I can just

give all of this joy and energy

00:51:37,604 --> 00:51:39,364

to my children and my family.

00:51:39,374 --> 00:51:40,934

Like, that's the life that I want.

00:51:42,094 --> 00:51:43,544

Then I have to change my words.

00:51:43,574 --> 00:51:49,424

If I'm using fine all the time, or if I'm,

if I describe all of my feelings as fine,

00:51:49,664 --> 00:51:51,564

or if my husband says, Hey, what's wrong?

00:51:51,734 --> 00:51:52,264

I'm fine.

00:51:52,684 --> 00:51:53,134

I'm fine.

00:51:54,134 --> 00:51:55,494

Oh, you're not fine.

00:51:56,254 --> 00:51:57,394

You're not fine at all.

00:51:57,454 --> 00:51:58,284

And we all know that.

00:51:58,284 --> 00:51:59,594

Like, it's a funny little thing.

00:51:59,604 --> 00:52:00,354

Like, oh, no, I'm fine.

00:52:00,394 --> 00:52:00,644

I'm fine.

00:52:00,654 --> 00:52:01,274

It's fine.

00:52:01,414 --> 00:52:02,084

Everything's fine.

00:52:03,564 --> 00:52:06,274

I know for humor, it's funny to laugh at.

00:52:06,274 --> 00:52:09,694

But the reality is, is that

your life is not a comedy show.

00:52:10,384 --> 00:52:13,774

You've got one life to live and you

don't know when you are going out.

00:52:14,304 --> 00:52:15,614

We don't know the last day.

00:52:16,589 --> 00:52:17,739

We don't know the last minute.

00:52:17,959 --> 00:52:19,209

We don't know the last breath.

00:52:19,849 --> 00:52:22,509

Every thought, every

word is accounted for.

00:52:23,049 --> 00:52:27,249

And like you said, like these

declarations, yes, spiritual affirmations

00:52:27,489 --> 00:52:30,169

are so beneficial, so beneficial.

00:52:30,169 --> 00:52:33,179

And, um, I'll give you the link

if you want to give it to people,

00:52:33,179 --> 00:52:36,149

but on my website, I have a whole

free download of script, scripture

00:52:36,149 --> 00:52:39,439

affirmations that you can take.

00:52:39,914 --> 00:52:43,574

These are so wonderful and it shows

you the scripture right next to it.

00:52:43,944 --> 00:52:47,634

And these are just affirmations you

can say because they're based in truth.

00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:51,789

I mean, if the word of God

literally created Our world,

00:52:52,159 --> 00:52:53,859

what could it create in you?

00:52:54,189 --> 00:52:59,779

If you took on the word of God and

began to say this, um, one of my

00:52:59,779 --> 00:53:04,569

deck, my declarations or spiritual

affirmations is, um, everything

00:53:04,569 --> 00:53:05,669

is always working out for us.

00:53:05,779 --> 00:53:06,139

That is.

00:53:06,649 --> 00:53:07,269

That's what I say.

00:53:07,879 --> 00:53:09,089

It's from Romans 8 28.

00:53:09,839 --> 00:53:11,169

Everything is always working out for us.

00:53:11,389 --> 00:53:15,159

I have said this at the best of

moments of my life when I'm like, Oh,

00:53:15,759 --> 00:53:17,209

everything is always working out for us.

00:53:17,209 --> 00:53:18,029

Like, it's so clear.

00:53:18,029 --> 00:53:18,759

Like, look at this.

00:53:19,209 --> 00:53:19,359

It's happening.

00:53:19,699 --> 00:53:20,889

You know, everything is

always working out for us.

00:53:21,459 --> 00:53:25,749

Um, I've said this during

days when I'm exhausted.

00:53:26,259 --> 00:53:28,589

I have no more energy

for anything or anybody.

00:53:29,734 --> 00:53:30,994

And then I have to go do something else.

00:53:30,994 --> 00:53:33,244

You know, like everything is

always working out for us.

00:53:33,264 --> 00:53:36,294

I've said this at the graveside

of my daughters that I've buried.

00:53:36,704 --> 00:53:37,964

Everything is always working out for us.

00:53:38,594 --> 00:53:44,344

It's when you, when God will lead

you to something that he wants

00:53:44,344 --> 00:53:46,044

you to hold on to with his word.

00:53:46,184 --> 00:53:50,244

And when you, when you do, when you hold

onto it, it's not become like the, you

00:53:50,244 --> 00:53:54,074

know, mantra or declaration, whatever you

want to call it, of our entire family.

00:53:54,424 --> 00:53:59,794

Our entire family says this, I mean,

um, dozens a time a day, honest to God.

00:53:59,814 --> 00:54:03,744

Like it's something that mindset

work is so big for me and my family

00:54:03,744 --> 00:54:05,604

with my kids and my husband too.

00:54:05,634 --> 00:54:09,824

Like we all work on it because

the enemy is here to attack us.

00:54:10,339 --> 00:54:12,559

Um, and mind, spirit, and body.

00:54:12,849 --> 00:54:17,569

And we have to begin to do the

work to protect ourselves so

00:54:17,569 --> 00:54:20,499

that we can do God's work and be

a part of that mission for him.

00:54:20,919 --> 00:54:25,599

So yeah, I love all the things with

script like scripture affirmation.

00:54:25,599 --> 00:54:26,279

It's so good.

00:54:26,329 --> 00:54:26,729

I love it.

00:54:26,729 --> 00:54:29,719

I'm definitely going to go check out

that download and we'll make sure to put

00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:33,119

the link in the show notes too so people

can check that out because it has been

00:54:33,119 --> 00:54:34,819

transformational in my life as well.

00:54:35,599 --> 00:54:39,439

Um, so good before we wrap up, I

want to touch on one last thing.

00:54:39,759 --> 00:54:44,979

Your message of babies and dreams, I think

is one that our world needs to hear today.

00:54:45,009 --> 00:54:48,609

And women, especially, um, I

was a focus missionary for a

00:54:48,849 --> 00:54:50,319

few years on the college campus.

00:54:50,329 --> 00:54:54,739

And so I walked with women for a few years

and they were trying to live their faith.

00:54:54,739 --> 00:54:57,699

And they also, a lot of them

were very career driven as well.

00:54:57,699 --> 00:55:00,929

And they also had these dreams

of being wives and mothers.

00:55:00,939 --> 00:55:01,559

And it is.

00:55:01,829 --> 00:55:05,589

So beautiful to see women with dreams

and like I said in the beginning like I

00:55:05,589 --> 00:55:09,379

feel like the lord has just placed This

beauty on our hearts as women to like

00:55:10,129 --> 00:55:14,009

like fulfill, you know, like fulfill

this call and to be great and to be

00:55:14,009 --> 00:55:19,329

beautiful Um, and I think women are

getting conflicting messages and we know

00:55:19,329 --> 00:55:22,369

this is true It's not even I think like

I know women are getting conflicting

00:55:22,369 --> 00:55:26,989

messages both from secular sides and

even From some circles in the catholic

00:55:26,989 --> 00:55:31,884

world, you know In the secular side you

see like Oh, like you have to climb the

00:55:31,884 --> 00:55:36,024

corporate ladder to be successful or

like motherhood is unimportant and like,

00:55:36,034 --> 00:55:37,724

that's not what your focus should be.

00:55:38,034 --> 00:55:40,894

And then sometimes even in some

Catholic circles, it's like, you

00:55:40,894 --> 00:55:42,344

should just be a stay at home mom.

00:55:42,344 --> 00:55:44,104

And like, you don't need a career.

00:55:44,104 --> 00:55:47,384

And like, you know, those dreams that

you have for your job, like are not good.

00:55:47,414 --> 00:55:49,054

Like you just need to be

at home with the kids.

00:55:49,054 --> 00:55:53,004

So, um, what advice or like what

words of wisdom would you have to

00:55:53,004 --> 00:55:57,374

say with women who kind of like feel

this pull of both and just are lost

00:55:57,384 --> 00:55:59,024

in the midst of all these messages?

00:56:00,134 --> 00:56:00,604

Yeah.

00:56:00,674 --> 00:56:05,634

So this is, it's, it's slightly,

it's a slightly nuanced conversation,

00:56:05,634 --> 00:56:08,814

so it's not, um, it's not so easy.

00:56:08,934 --> 00:56:15,844

It's not going to be a 15 second clip on

social that's going to solve this debate

00:56:15,954 --> 00:56:17,774

as much as some would like it to be.

00:56:18,334 --> 00:56:22,784

Um, but yeah, I, I, what, as you know,

I 100 percent stand behind babies and

00:56:22,784 --> 00:56:26,394

dreams and I will to the end, to the,

to the day I die, God love me, God

00:56:26,394 --> 00:56:27,764

forgive me for it, but that's what I do.

00:56:28,114 --> 00:56:31,644

Um, so one.

00:56:32,114 --> 00:56:36,304

What can women do when they're hearing

these conflicting messages, especially if

00:56:36,304 --> 00:56:40,614

you are in a position where you haven't

entered into either one of these things?

00:56:41,324 --> 00:56:41,874

Um,

00:56:42,864 --> 00:56:44,194

Leah Darrow: Stop

listening to other people.

00:56:45,414 --> 00:56:47,214

Stop listening to other people.

00:56:48,644 --> 00:56:51,654

Listen to your heart and to

what God's calling you to.

00:56:51,664 --> 00:56:56,824

Like, if it's so, even if it's

so scary to submit to what God's

00:56:56,884 --> 00:56:59,394

asking of you, listen to Him.

00:56:59,604 --> 00:57:00,684

What is He calling you to?

00:57:02,154 --> 00:57:07,424

I will say of, of the two,

you'll never regret motherhood.

00:57:07,424 --> 00:57:08,917

You could regret the career.

00:57:08,917 --> 00:57:09,514

Mm hmm.

00:57:12,674 --> 00:57:14,264

But you'll never regret that one.

00:57:15,574 --> 00:57:20,704

It's one that you want to

prioritize above all and go for.

00:57:21,194 --> 00:57:22,884

You don't want to put off thinking, ah,

00:57:23,144 --> 00:57:23,944

I'll do it later.

00:57:25,424 --> 00:57:27,344

Mari Wagner: Yeah, you

don't know if you can.

00:57:28,364 --> 00:57:31,654

Or, or what you're doing,

because it's not just you.

00:57:31,654 --> 00:57:36,284

I mean, marriage and children

don't just involve you.

00:57:36,294 --> 00:57:36,504

They

00:57:36,504 --> 00:57:43,414

Leah Darrow: involve a lot of other people

and that's why I would prioritize that,

00:57:44,234 --> 00:57:49,184

for sure, for somebody who is not

sure if they should go, like, should

00:57:49,184 --> 00:57:51,724

I start a family now, or should

I, should I, like, make that the

00:57:51,724 --> 00:57:53,454

priority now is to get married?

00:57:53,994 --> 00:57:58,004

I mean, if, generally speaking, I'd

say, yeah, yeah, I think you should.

00:57:58,409 --> 00:57:59,009

I think you should.

00:57:59,769 --> 00:58:00,159

I do.

00:58:01,299 --> 00:58:08,579

If God calls you into space, we're

also, he's asking and presenting you

00:58:08,579 --> 00:58:12,389

opportunities that again, don't conflict

with his 10 commandments and don't

00:58:12,419 --> 00:58:17,189

conflict with your vocation, but could

even potentially help it or support it.

00:58:17,604 --> 00:58:23,224

In a way, that's when you're like,

okay, maybe, maybe this could

00:58:23,224 --> 00:58:25,034

work out and can it work out?

00:58:25,064 --> 00:58:25,564

Yes.

00:58:26,164 --> 00:58:27,464

Is it balanced perfectly?

00:58:27,874 --> 00:58:29,944

No, not at all.

00:58:30,334 --> 00:58:32,204

You don't do a hundred percent of both.

00:58:32,704 --> 00:58:36,164

Um, there have been moments of my

business where I've given more time

00:58:36,164 --> 00:58:39,974

to the business in these short moments

and these short sprints that are

00:58:40,054 --> 00:58:41,744

carefully planned out with my spouse.

00:58:42,679 --> 00:58:47,969

Um, most of the time my business gets a

lot less of me than I give to my family.

00:58:48,409 --> 00:58:50,709

Rightly so, because

that's the right order.

00:58:50,709 --> 00:58:50,999

Yeah.

00:58:51,379 --> 00:58:54,639

But I'm still able to do the things that

I do and I've learned a lot of things.

00:58:55,069 --> 00:58:59,629

And this is what I do in my business

coaching is I help other women save time,

00:58:59,819 --> 00:59:04,699

effort and money to do them effectively,

but not take forever to do them.

00:59:06,279 --> 00:59:12,369

And you know, it's just, Mari, it's

one of those things where, You never

00:59:12,369 --> 00:59:14,709

want to put a baby over a dream, right?

00:59:14,719 --> 00:59:15,539

That's not everywhere.

00:59:15,859 --> 00:59:16,869

That's not what I talk about.

00:59:16,869 --> 00:59:20,959

That's not what I do

whatsoever, but to say that.

00:59:22,669 --> 00:59:26,859

to say that the baby is the only thing

that the only dream you can have and

00:59:26,859 --> 00:59:31,969

the only thing that you can do just

like whoever saying that is somebody

00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:36,939

else it's not god like keep in mind you

need to be talking to god you need to be

00:59:36,939 --> 00:59:41,639

praying and having good spiritual counsel

i think there's also something here we

00:59:41,639 --> 00:59:45,229

have to talk about or at least mention

and i think it's really important to

00:59:45,229 --> 00:59:50,369

mention this because this gets overlooked

a lot there are a lot of women that i

00:59:50,369 --> 00:59:56,684

work with In the business coaching side

of my business that have to have kids.

00:59:57,154 --> 01:00:00,974

Um, some of them are married,

some of them are not.

01:00:02,584 --> 01:00:06,034

And they would give their right

arm to stay at home with their

01:00:06,034 --> 01:00:07,094

kids and be a full time mom.

01:00:07,104 --> 01:00:07,484

Yeah.

01:00:08,109 --> 01:00:10,359

They would do anything,

anything in the world.

01:00:10,359 --> 01:00:14,989

Like it makes me tear up because they

would do anything in the world to do

01:00:14,989 --> 01:00:21,279

that full time job of those stay at

home moms that want to bring their pitch

01:00:21,289 --> 01:00:26,139

forks and their fire and to burn down

everybody who says babies and dreams.

01:00:26,589 --> 01:00:30,469

They would love your life as life has it.

01:00:30,809 --> 01:00:31,639

Their husband died.

01:00:32,189 --> 01:00:35,729

Or they're divorced or they're

separated or they never got

01:00:35,729 --> 01:00:37,949

married and it didn't work out.

01:00:37,979 --> 01:00:40,639

And now they're in a position

where they're like, I have

01:00:40,729 --> 01:00:42,649

these babies or a baby.

01:00:42,739 --> 01:00:46,069

And I have now, I have

to work to support them.

01:00:46,509 --> 01:00:49,049

And they'll come to me like, Leah, can

you help me so I can make more money in

01:00:49,049 --> 01:00:53,459

my business to create more leverage so

that I can provide a little bit more.

01:00:53,849 --> 01:00:54,519

And you know what?

01:00:54,579 --> 01:00:56,904

I'm like, I'm your coach.

01:00:56,924 --> 01:00:57,614

Let's go.

01:00:57,654 --> 01:00:58,354

Let's do it.

01:00:58,364 --> 01:00:58,544

Right.