The question addressed in this episode pertains to the perennial question: "Are our loved ones happy on the other side?" This matter weighs heavily on the hearts of many who have experienced the profound sorrow of loss. I assert unequivocally that yes, your loved ones are indeed content in the realm beyond our earthly existence. As we navigate the complex terrain of grief, it becomes paramount to acknowledge that while we yearn for their physical presence, they have returned to their true essence, unencumbered by earthly trials and tribulations. In this exploration, we will delve into the nature of our spiritual existence, the experiences of those who have crossed over, and the comforting notion that our loved ones thrive in a state devoid of suffering. Join us as we unravel these insights, fostering a deeper understanding of the connection that transcends the veil of life and death.

Amidst the complexities of grief, the question of our loved ones' happiness in the afterlife emerges as a pivotal theme. Throughout the episode, we explore the inherent human desire for reassurance regarding the well-being of those who have departed. With a firm conviction, we assert that our loved ones are indeed at peace in their spiritual abode, liberated from the trials that once defined their earthly existence. This reassurance serves not only to alleviate the anxieties of the bereaved but also to foster a deeper understanding of the nature of life itself. By emphasizing the spiritual dimension of our existence, we invite listeners to cultivate a perspective that honors their loved ones' journey, encouraging a shift from sorrow to celebration—a recognition that life is fundamentally about experiences, love, and interconnectedness.

Takeaways:

• The notion of happiness for loved ones in the afterlife is a common inquiry among those experiencing grief.
• It is essential to recognize that our loved ones, once they pass, return to a state of happiness and peace.
• Grief is a natural process, and understanding that our loved ones are content in the spirit world can alleviate some of our suffering.
• The connection we seek with our departed loved ones can be fostered through meditation and personal reflection.

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Hi, my friends, this is Jock here.

This is the Pillars of Grief.

And this is the next question that I get asked a lot regarding the afterlife and obviously grief.

So when we come right back, we're going to answer the biggest question.

Well, actually one of the biggest questions we get all the time that I get all the time, and that says, you know, is my loved one happy on the other side they happy.

So when we come right back, we're going to answer that straight away.

God bless.

Grief is a natural part of life and we all experience it at some point.

By becoming aware of our emotions in the process of grief, we can begin to accept and move through our pain.

Acceptance doesn't mean that we forget or stop feeling the loss of, but it allows us to come to terms with it.

And finally, we can choose to honor our loved ones by celebrating their life and finding meaning in our grief.

Join me as we explore these pillars of Grief and how they can help us navigate the journey of grief.

We will explore this journey together and you will hear from experiencers, experts and researchers.

I'm Jock Brokis and this is the Pillars of Grief.

Okay, guys, welcome back.

As I said, this is a question I get asked an awful lot and sometimes I find it quite.

Shocking that anybody would really ask it.

But I get it.

You know, when we lose a loved one, we, whether it's a son, a daughter, a husband, a wife, anybody, a friend, relative, anything, mom, dad.

We always want them to be happy.

We want to know in ourselves that while they're on the other side that they're happy.

And I've lost countless.

I've lost countless.

Really, I can't count amount of times that someone has asked me the same thing.

And only just recently, someone approached me and sent me a message and wanted to know if their daughter was happy on the other side.

And so here's the thing.

I mean, it's a very simple.

It's not gonna be a long episode.

It's a very simple thing.

Yes, your loved one on the other side is going to be very happy.

But what I want you to understand is that remember that we're here.

This is our temporary home.

Where we come from, we are spirits in human form.

We are not humans in spirit form.

Right?

So what I mean by that is that we are part of the animating force that animates all of life.

We come from spirit.

We are only animated because of the animating force that animates everything.

The same force that animates the flower and the seed to sprout or Animates the flower to bloom, animates the butterfly to emerge from the chrysalis.

The same animating force that creates the moisture in the air, that creates the clouds that click.

We are all part of that animating force.

We only exist because it animates us, because it animates us in our life, gives us life.

And so the reality is that fundamentally we are spirit energy, that we come from the world of spirit.

And so when our loved ones cross over, when our loved ones, this is why we want to think about them.

They go home to what their real home is.

We are here having this spiritual experience.

We're here.

This is not a place just where you just come to be at school, as so many old New Age ideas will say, that we come to this world because it's a school and we have to learn things and we have to pass our school.

That's not true.

We come for experience.

Life is about experience.

We experience love.

Rubbish on my T shirt there.

We experience love, we experience emotions, we experience anger.

We experience being.

I mean, at the moment I'm experiencing being cold.

You're going to think of that, you know, coming from Scotland and the Highlands of Scotland and being here in North Carolina, you would think I'd be used to inclement weather, but.

I must be getting old age because I'm feeling it.

It's cold.

It's bloody cold today, actually.

And mind you, in my office, I don't have a of lot, little heater.

So I'm digressing.

I'm kind of changing the subject.

But at the end of the day, we feel all these emotions.

We feel these experiences.

We experience things in our physiology, in our biology.

We experience health, we experience illness.

Life is about experience.

And so when we come here, it's all about that experience.

But here's the thing.

Some people who have lost their loved ones may have lost their loved ones through to suicide or to them taking their own lives.

They may have lost ones through murder.

They may have lost loved ones through people that I know, friends that I know, people in the battlefield, soldiers, operatives that lose brothers and sisters in arms.

We lose people through illness.

But I want to kind of talk about this idea that people think if we lose someone in a shocking way, then they automatically think that they're not going to be happy on the other side, whether that's through a misaligned misunderstanding of spiritual law, divine law, or even dogmatic religion, where in some dogmatic face they would say suicide is wrong and you would go to purgatory or you would go to hell.

And all of this is just really things that are made up.

In all honesty, are made up to control the population of the day, like politics is.

And like, you know, back in thousands of years ago, it was the same thing.

And so a lot of these ideas, they come from human nature.

They come from our desires, perceptions, expectations.

And so even in dogmatic religion, where they would say that this person goes over at the wrong hand and they're going to be trapped, or in some new age beliefs, they would say they would get trapped in between lives and things like that, I mean, there's no evidence for it, that's not true.

And it causes more problems than anything else.

It causes us to question life, causes us to question faith, it causes us to even question our own existence.

But our loved ones, when they go home and for the thousands and sit ins and connections that I have had, I know without a shadow of a doubt that they're happy.

Even.

Let me give you an example.

Even in our own losses last year, as you know, many that know me, my wife and I, we lost many people last year, one after the other, in fact last this in a few days time, two days time, it's an anniversary of one of our closest.

People that we lost.

My mother in law, my wife's mum, and then our best friend Sheila.

And they're always in our mind.

But of course we still have those questions.

Many times my wife would say, is mum happy?

Is mum happy?

And some things I found that shocking because she knows they're happy.

But we want to hear it.

We want to hear that they're happy because.

And the reason is, even though we kind of know they're happy, even though my wife can know that her mom's happy, even though I know my mother in law's happy, I know my uncle Robyn's happy, I know they're happy.

There's something still inside us that even though we know this, we just want to hear it from someone else.

There's nothing wrong with that.

But if I could say one thing to you, ladies and gentlemen, to take away is that to know that your loved ones are happy on the other side, because this is our world of experience.

And where they've gone is they've gone home to where they came from, where there's no illness, where there's no pain.

They don't need to worry about where the money's coming up to the next bill, or they don't need to worry about their.

They can still experience different things in there, but they don't need to worry about their health.

And a lot of people will say, well, are they just worried about us?

Are we holding them back because of our fears, because we want them to be happy and because we don't think they're happy or we're worried that they're happy?

Do we hold them back?

Absolutely not.

No, you don't.

You don't hold them back at all.

You perhaps hold yourself back because of your own fears or because of your own judgments.

Remember, I've always said, ladies and gentlemen, that we create our own suffering by our judgments.

Right?

The way we judge something creates the suffering in us.

And so when we think about our loved ones that are on the other side, even though in our heart of hearts we know that they're happy, we want to hear it from someone else.

And there's nothing wrong with that.

And I realized that.

I realized that when my wife asked me sometimes, I've said, oh, of course, of course Mom's happy.

You know, don't be ridiculous.

Of course.

But no, I get it, I get it.

The woman that contacted me recently, I think in her heart she knows that her daughter's happy on the other side.

Is it God's will that someone takes their own life?

No, it's not.

Is it God's will that someone is murdered?

No.

And I don't like this whole idea as well.

They're saying, well, they had to come here and they had to learn that, and that's part of the whole process.

I don't accept that.

Right.

I don't accept.

There are some things that we don't understand and we're never going to understand until we cross over.

But I don't think it's meant to be.

In fact, no, I don't say no.

Think I know it's not meant to be.

Nobody's meant to take the wrong.

My best friend that took his life years, years ago.

That wasn't meant to be part of it.

That was his free will choice.

And I'll go into another lesson, actually, probably more about free will in my community when I talk, more when I develop.

I'm in the process of developing a really in depth course for everybody.

Not only just in grief, but in deeper, deeper aspects of it.

So you can learn a lot more about it.

Philosophical aspects of it, the empirical aspects of it, the scientific aspect, all of it really, really in depth.

So.

And if you're interested in that, then you can reach out to me or you can wait until I announce it and then come and join.

But I kind of don't go for this whole new agey idea.

As a medium, and not only as a medium, but as a researcher and my curiosity, I dive deep into things.

And not only my contemplation, but I'm also looking for evidence in the connections and the communications that I have from the other side as well.

Not just from when, if I'm doing a sitting on reading for someone, but even from my own inquisitive, my own curiosity.

So I know that our loved ones are happy, but I don't subscribe to this whole idea that someday it's meant to be, that they take their life so that somebody can learn that.

Yeah, I don't go for that.

And I know there's books out there that support that and there's supposedly gurus that do that.

But I have never come across in any of my time in development and study.

Of someone on the other side said it was meant to be and I was supposed to do it so that I could teach you this lesson that never came across this.

And there's never any evidence for it in any way, shape or form.

And so I want you to get all that out of your head.

I'd rather that you kept in your mind, in your head, that your loved ones are really happy and you'll ask it less and less.

Because if you understand it more, if you understand that yes, they're happy, you won't need to seek that validation from someone like me or anybody else or your friends.

Because when you're asking that question, even when my wife's asking that question, she's looking for that evidence, she's looking for that reassurance.

And that's because in normal human nature, we need to be reassured things.

Taking the spirituality aside, when we just look at our psychological framework, our psychological makeup, we have a hierarchy needs.

Anybody who's ever studied.

Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you know, you understand that there's physiological needs, there's security needs.

But if we break this down in a psychological component, right, we have needs, emotional needs.

And so when we ask these questions, it's not cause we disbelieve it.

It's because we really need.

We need that validation.

We need to be able to receive it for someone else so that we feel free enough to be able to say, okay, I accept that, I accept that.

And it gives us a little bit of comfort.

I'm no different from anybody else.

I look for validation the same as anybody else does.

I'm lucky that I maybe understand things deeper, that I don't have to seek that validation enough.

But then again, it's not for me to judge how many times someone had asked, if you come and ask me, my wife has asked me plenty times.

If mom's happy on the other side, then she knows deep down that she is.

Your loved ones are definitely happy on the other side.

The truth is that we are not happy about it because we miss them.

There's nothing wrong with that.

We miss their touch, we miss the vocal connection, we miss their energetic connection.

We miss them being in our lives.

So another way of us asking and seeking that reassurance is it's a way of us trying to connect again as well.

It's a way of us going, you know, okay, are they happy?

Yes, they're happy.

And so we feel a connection there again.

Because some things we feel so disconnected.

And by asking if they're happy, there's a little subconscious connection there.

We're trying to make that connection.

Nothing wrong with it.

And keep asking.

I'm not here to turn around and say, stop asking, they are happy.

I'm here to teach you to understand.

What it really means and that there's nothing wrong with it as same as there's nothing wrong with you crying in public about your loss.

I want you just to understand that you can ask it as many times as you want.

There's nothing wrong with it.

But I want you to come from the point of, of recognizing, having an awareness.

Of the philosophical aspects of it, of the psychological aspects of it and why you do it, why our behavior is the way it is, why we need to seek the validation and the reassurance.

That's what I want you to understand.

And it doesn't.

Those of you who are out there that have messaged me in Instagram or through my email, anything like that, ask me as many times as you want.

I'm going to tell you the same thing.

I'm going to tell you, yes, your loved one is happy and yes, there's another thing.

You can communicate with them.

You just need to learn a different language.

It's like going on an app and taking an app to learn a language.

All you're doing is.

You'Re not learning a new language, you're remembering a new language.

So when you remember the language language, you start to pick up these signs of your loved ones around you.

You pick up the changes in the energy.

And here's the other thing I want you to think about when you're thinking about asking that question, is my loved one happy on the other side?

I Just want.

And I've heard that so many times, I just want them to be happy.

If I knew that they were happy, it would help me.

I get it.

But maybe what you need to do is to go into the quiet.

Maybe what you need to do is to go into the silence, meditate a little.

You don't have to get any big fancy lighting candles or doing anything like that.

You just need to meditate, meditate in silence.

Meditate with a bit of music, whatever, Visualize your loved one.

You'll feel that they're happy because you will make that connection.

There's no doubt about it.

I've got no doubt.

You can make that connection.

You can in prayer.

You can just sit in silent prayer and just pray and you'll see in your mind's eye, you'll feel that they're happy.

It is just us who miss them, and we're not happy because they're not in our lives.

But it helps us, to reassure us, to maybe do that meditation, to do that prayer, to visualize them, to hold their image in our hand or whatever it is that you do that helps you to, to cope with your grief.

Even speaking to someone, you could even change, you could change the whole dynamic there by saying, you know what?

I've lost my son, I lost my daughter, but I know they're happy.

And instead of saying to that person, I want to know if they're happy, you can say, I know they're happy.

And so you're reassuring yourself as well.

That allows you to start to get through that fog of grief so that you can, that fog can lift, the sun can shine through and you can feel the connection from your loved one.

That's all I want to say today, ladies and gentlemen.

I mean, it is the season.

You might be listening to this next year.

This is coming up, the Christmas season, holiday season.

And I know it's in our hearts a lot, but you can listen to this message at any given time during the year.

Message is the same now as we're in my community.

Before the holidays, before the Christmas, I'm going to be planning to do a little remembrance type service in our group where we'll remember our loved ones, light a candle, say a prayer, share some stories.

If you're not a member of the pillars of grief community, then please come and join us.

It's free just for the general community in there.

And you can connect, you can ask me questions as well and you can take part on anything that's coming up.

Now, I'm not in there as much as I would really want to be.

But I am there and I do message and I do get back to people and you're just, you know, you're more than welcome to come in and get that support.

And of course, that event that we're going to be having before Christmas time, where we're just going to have a little meditative session, a little prayer, maybe you'll light a candle, share some words.

I'm going to be doing it for my loved ones, and whether it's just me on my own or whether it's members of our community, it will be going ahead.

So you're more than welcome to join again.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining me today.

If you've got any questions, then reach out.

This is another question answered about the afterlife.

We've got an We've got loads more coming up, as I mentioned before, so make sure you subscribe.

Make sure you share it out with anybody who's lost a loved one that might need to hear this.

And again, have a beautiful day, have a beautiful evening, have a beautiful morning, and just remember your loved ones are happy on the other side.

It is only our judgment and our fears that cause us that suffering.

God Bless.

Thank you for tuning in to the Pillars of Grief with me.

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Join my free online support community for those grieving and connect with others who.

Understand what you're going through.

I offer you a spiritual blessing and hope you will join me on the next episode.

Till then, open your mind and allow.

The power of the divine to transform your grief to spiritual realization.

God Bless.