A father can rebuild trust with an estranged child by keeping every promise, one visit at a time, even after years apart. My guest Mike Martin went nine years without being part of his daughter's life. Before that, he lived with depression and leaned on other people to make his decisions. Two marriages and two divorces over about 10 years left him feeling like a failure. After the second, he was homeless and was told he didn't deserve his family. That night he tried to end his life. The next day at work, he heard Ryan Holiday on The Hunting Collective podcast. He decided he didn't want his kids to remember a father who was only a failure. If he could rebuild from nothing, they would know they could too. His anxiety ran so deep that for a month he couldn't choose dinner. The day he finally settled on a burger was the first time he trusted his own decision.

His tools are simple, and many come from the Stoics. Mike Martin focuses only on what's in his power to control. When a problem looks overwhelming, he breaks it into bite-size pieces and works through them. When his contact lenses crumbled at work, he found an eye doctor with an opening and had it fixed within hours. Years earlier, he says, that would have sent him into a panic attack. He journals, sometimes only a word or two, because no one is there to judge what he writes. Through journaling and meditation, he found his values and started holding himself to a standard. He tames the negative voice by talking to himself out loud in the mirror. He meditates outdoors, on a shoreline, in a deer blind, or on a boat. That steadiness held even when he lost his home again.

The breakthrough came with his daughter. Her mother told him the girl didn't want to see him. He walked into that first visit anyway, and his daughter told him the opposite. He listened to her whole life story for two hours. A week later, she texted asking him to come six hours early. A year in, riding in his truck, she asked him her first real question. He calls those her first words. His advice to other fathers is to keep your word every time, even when the deer are running. Break it once and you start a pattern. Trust comes first, and acceptance follows. Mike Forrester teaches that healing starts with the man, and Mike Martin rebuilt himself before he reached for his daughter. That work made him whole whatever she decided. Some dads have a child who's grown distant. Others walked away and want back in. Mike Martin's story is for both.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Learn how to rebuild trust with an estranged child by keeping every commitment you make.
• Use bite-size steps to work through problems that once would have sent you into a panic.
• Recognize why each hard moment in reconnecting with your kids is a chance to show who you've become.
• Start journaling with just a word or two to sort your thoughts and set a standard for yourself.
• Spot how focusing only on what you control keeps you steady through big transitions, even losing your home.
• See how talking to yourself out loud in the mirror can quiet the negative voice in your head.

The key moments in this episode are:

00:02:00 - how to stay steady when you lose your home

00:05:00 - when a father realizes what missing his daughter's life cost them both

00:08:00 - how to rebuild a strained relationship with your child

00:09:00 - how to stay calm when your ex attacks you in front of your kids

00:11:00 - how to handle a stressful day without panicking

00:14:00 - how to break overwhelming problems into small steps

00:16:00 - depression, divorce, and hitting rock bottom

00:19:00 - how stoic philosophy and the outdoors helped him rebuild

00:21:00 - how to push through social anxiety and start anyway

00:28:00 - reconnecting with a child after years apart

00:34:00 - how to be consistent and earn back your child's trust

00:37:00 - daily habits like journaling and mirror talk that tame negative self-talk

Connect with Mike Martin

Website:

Projectmindfullyoutdoors.Wordpress.com

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Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/ProjectMindfullyOutdoors/

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Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/ProjectMindfullyOutdoors/

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Connect with Mike Forrester

https://linktr.ee/hicoachmike