Gentleness, often misconceived as mere softness or passivity, embodies a strength that is both controlled and purposeful. In this episode, I, Kimberly Lockinour, delve into the nature of biblical gentleness, revealing its essence as power restrained for the benefit of others. We explore how true gentleness arises from inner security and confidence, enabling individuals to lead with compassion rather than aggression.

Takeaways:

1. The podcast emphasizes that gentleness is a powerful expression of strength that must be controlled and directed toward the good of others.
2. It discusses how biblical gentleness is often misunderstood as weakness, yet it truly reflects inner strength and confidence.
3. Listeners are encouraged to see gentleness as a vital aspect of leadership, fostering environments where individuals feel safe to grow.
4. The episode highlights the importance of timing in communication, asserting that gentleness can lead to more productive and understanding conversations.

The content shared on Living the Selah Life is for spiritual encouragement, personal reflection, and informational purposes only.

It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace medical, psychological or professional advice of any kind.

Please consult a licensed healthcare provider or qualified professional for any physical, mental or emotional health concerns.

The views expressed are those of the host, Kimberly Lockanor, and are based on personal experience and Biblical insight, not clinical training.

Welcome back to Living the Selah Life, a podcast that invites you to slow down, to breathe and reconnect with the presence of God.

I am your host, Kim Locanor, and this space is for anyone longing to become more familiar with his presence.

Each episode is an intentional pause, a moment to reflect, realign, and be reminded that God meets us when we create space for Him.

So take a breath.

You are right on time.

Let's live the Selah life together.

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Welcome back.

In our last episode, we talked about joy and today we are going to talk about gentleness.

Gentleness.

This can be one of the most misunderstood aspects of the Fruit of the Spirit.

We'll discover that biblical gentleness is strength under control.

It's power that is held in check for the sake of others.

So let's move right on into our main teaching and I'm going to call it gentleness, the power of restrained strength.

Sounds like an oxymoron, but it really isn't.

So there's a Greek word that we're going to talk about that is a foundation for the teaching today.

And that word is.

And to my Greeks, I am probably mispronouncing that, but I'm doing the best that I can.

It's spelled P R A U T E S Praotes.

Now, this Greek word for gentleness, you find it in a couple of places, but we're going to talk about in Galatians 5 and 23, the word there for gentleness is perfect, praotes in Greek.

And this word carries a meaning that is actually kind of surprising.

Praise means controlled power, restrained strength, deliberate gentleness from a position of authority or capability.

Now catch that controlled gentleness from a position of authority or capability.

So the ancient Greeks used praotes to describe a wild horse, one that had been trained and could now be written.

They were able to be written now after being through rigorous training, the horse did not lose its strength, speed or power.

A trained horse was far more valuable than a wild one because its power could now be directed and controlled.

The strength was still there.

It was now under guidance and available for useful purposes.

So this word also describes a gentle wind that fills the sails of a ship.

So unlike a violent storm that could destroy a ship, a gentle wind provided just the right amount of power to move the ship forward without overwhelming it.

So when the Holy Spirit produces priorities in us, he creates strength that knows how to hold back, power that deliberately chooses restraint, capability that serves rather than dominates.

So this is why Jesus could be gentle with children and sinners while being firm with religious hypocrites.

His gentleness was divine strength, perfectly controlled for each situation.

So in our day, most times when you think of the word gentleness, it comes into the same category as like a pushover or being passive.

We think gentle people are those that try to deliberately avoid conflict or never raise their voice, always give in to others demands or allows others to mistreat them.

Biblical gentleness operates from confidence rather than insecurity.

Gentle people have the power to retaliate, dominate or force their will.

Yet they choose to restrain.

And I'm sure you guys can see where we are going with this because this is 100% God's nature.

They control their strength for the sake of others.

Good.

So gentleness requires inner security and strength.

Only people who are secure in their identity and confident in their strength can even afford to be gentle.

Insecure people often feel like they have to prove their power or defend their position aggressively.

Let's think about Moses, whom Scripture calls very humble or gentle, more than all men who were on the face of the earth.

And that's in Numbers chapter 12, verse 3.

This is the same Moses who confronted Pharaoh, led Israel out of Egypt, performed all kinds of miracles, and guided millions of people through the wilderness.

His gentleness was the controlled strength of a man who knew God's power flowed through him.

So us humans, we attempt, or our attempt at gentleness can sometimes come with the wrong motivation.

We can act gentle to avoid conflict, which is probably one of the most common, or to be liked, or to maintain peace at any cost.

Because sometimes we lack the strength to be assertive.

Notice I didn't say aggressive assertive.

And this approach often leads to resentment or manipulation.

On the other hand, the Holy Spirit produces gentleness that flows from divine strength and security.

When we are filled with the Spirit, we gain access to God's very own strength and confidence.

We know who we are in Christ.

And from this position of strength we we can choose gentleness as an expression of love rather than an expression of self protection.

The Spirit gives us wisdom to know when gentleness is appropriate and when firmness is needed.

Jesus was gentle with the woman caught in adultery, yet firm with the religious leaders who brought her.

He was tender with children, but he was bold with those who turned his father's house into a marketplace.

Divine gentleness flows from love for others rather than fear of conflict.

So when the Spirit fills us, our gentleness becomes an expression of genuine care for others well being.

Who does that sound like?

We are gentle because we want what's best for them.

Biblical gentleness is especially powerful in positions of leadership and authority.

You can be a parent, a manager, teacher, or a pastor, or anyone with influence over others.

Gentleness becomes a tool for super effective leadership.

Gentle leaders lead from strength.

They do not need to prove their authority through harsh treatment or intimidation.

Because they are secure in their position.

They can correct and not condemn.

They can direct without being dominating, and can guide without being controlling or micromanaging.

Paul demonstrated this in his ministry in First Thessalonians 2.

7, he writes, we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.

Paul, who had apostolic authority and power to demand compliance, chose gentleness because it was more effective for spiritual growth.

Gentle parenting is powerful too, and I say that with clenched teeth because I have zero children.

And I can't say that I was parented gently.

I wasn't parented roughly, but it definitely wasn't this thing that we call gentle parenting.

But parents who lead with gentleness, again, we're talking about the gentleness that is controlled restraint, strength under control, somebody that's in the position of power and they're choosing to restrain it.

So parents who lead with gentleness, this controlled strength rather than reactive emotion, create environments where children can learn and grow without fear.

And this includes discipline and boundaries applied with love, wisdom and restraint in the workplace leadership gentleness creates a culture of growth.

Leaders who can address problems, give correction and drive results while maintaining gentleness build stronger, more productive teams.

Because people feel safe to take risks, to admit their mistakes and to grow.

And I can attest to that firmly.

I have been a leader and I have been led by people.

People.

And I have been blessed beyond measure with many of the bosses that I have much.

I. I have had a few that could stand some more gentleness.

But overall I have been led by some amazing people.

And the gentleness that two in particular displayed was life transforming for the entire team.

And it gave you the desire to want to do your very best because we were aware of how much knowledge they had, how much strength they had, how much authority they had in the position that they were in.

But the way that they came off to everybody else was always so gentle and humble, and it's humbling.

So gentleness becomes especially powerful in moments of conflict and restoration.

Galatians, chapter 6, verses 1 instructs us, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.

I could go off on several tangents on this one, so I'm going to digress before I even start.

We're going to stick to the Scripture.

If a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.

Paul addresses you who are spiritual, which is those who are filled with the Spirit, and calls them to restore others with gentleness.

This is a call to approach restoration with the goal of healing rather than punishment.

Amen.

Gentle restoration recognizes our common need for grace.

The phrase considering yourself lest you be tempted reminds us that we are all capable of failure and all in need of mercy.

And this perspective keeps us humble and gentle, even when addressing serious problems.

Gentleness and conflict seeks understanding before being understood.

It listens before speaking and seeks to comprehend before seeking to correct, and approaches others with curiosity about their perspective rather than certainty about their motives.

Gentle words can penetrate hearts that harsh words harden.

And I'm going to say that again because this is so huge in our world today.

People are so used to harshness and roughness and unkindness that when someone is actually gentle and kind, they come across as suspicious.

And I'm like, Lord Jesus, you have to help us.

Gentle words can penetrate hearts that harsh words would Harden.

Proverbs, chapter 15, verses 1 tells us a soft answer turns away wrath, yet a harsh word stirs up anger.

Gentleness has the power to diffuse volatile situations and create space for productive dialogue.

Gentleness changes how we communicate in our relationships.

It influences what we say and how we say it, when we say it, and why we say it.

Gentle communication seeks to build up rather than to tear down.

Gentle truth telling combines honesty with love.

In Ephesians, chapter 4, verses 15, this scripture calls us to speak the truth in love.

Gentleness enables us to address difficult topics and to give that hard feedback and to have necessary conversations without destroying the relationships.

I always say the strength of a relationship is determined when conflict shows up.

Anybody can be your bestie when everything is good.

But if you're unable to deliver a message, if conflict can't be resolved, if you're harsh, you're not gentle.

That is when you can tell the strength of the relationship, which has nothing to do with what we're talking about, so we're going to keep it moving.

So in marriage and family relationships, gentleness creates safety for vulnerability.

When family members know they will be met with gentleness, even when they fail or struggle, they are more likely to be honest about their needs and their mistakes.

Gentleness knows the power of timing.

Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time to speak and a time to keep silent.

Gentle people develop sensitivity to timing, knowing when someone is ready to hear difficult truths and when they need comfort instead.

Gentle truth telling combines honesty with love.

Ephesians, chapter 4, verses 15, cause us to speak the truth in love.

Gentleness enables us to address difficult topics, give hard feedback, and have necessary conversations without destroying relationships.

But just like the other two fruit that we've explored, love and joy, this fruit as well is one that until you have genuinely received this kind of goodness that we're talking about here, which comes from God, you will be unable to give it.

We must first receive God's gentleness towards us before we can authentically extend it to others.

Think about the times that you have failed, or the mistakes that you have repeated over and over again, the growth that has taken much longer than you ever thought it would.

How has God responded to you?

Jesus demonstrated divine gentleness throughout his ministry.

He was gentle with Peter's impulsiveness, with Thomas's doubts, with the disciples slow understanding with the crowd's fickle loyalty.

Even in his correction and teaching, he approached people with the goal of restoration rather than humiliation.

God's gentleness towards us addresses our issues with precision and love.

God works with us over time, celebrating small steps forward and gently redirecting us when we get off track.

Receiving God's gentleness means accepting his patient approach to our change.

He works with us over time, celebrating progress and gently redirecting when we get off track.

Sometimes not so gently, nonetheless, redirecting when we get off track, when we receive this kind of gentleness toward our own journey, not somebody else's.

When you receive this kind of gentleness towards your own journey, because at the end of the day, the only people who really know what your journey was like, even if they're sitting there watching you, is you and the Lord.

He knows the end, inner thoughts, the things that you never told anyone but Him.

He knows everything, and yet he still deals with us with a gentle hand.

When we receive this gentleness towards our own journey, we naturally extend the same patience, grace, and gentleness to others.

So Gentleness as a Strength for the Vulnerable One of the most beautiful expressions of biblical gentleness is how it protects and serves the vulnerable.

Gentle strength naturally flows toward those who need protection, advocacy, or care.

Jesus demonstrated this in his interactions with children, outcasts and sinners.

He was infinitely gentle with those who were already broken, while being firm with those who use their power to oppress others.

Gentleness in this context becomes fierce in its protection.

A gentle parent will be incredibly protective toward their children.

A gentle leader will firmly oppose anything that harms their team, and this protective gentleness is strength channeled toward the defense of others.

The Holy Spirit produces this same protective gentleness in us.

We become people who naturally advocate for those who have no voice, who protect those who cannot protect themselves, and who use their own strength to serve rather than to dominate.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls, for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Bless your name, Lord Jesus.

So in this passage of Scripture, there's a universal invitation, Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden.

Jesus extends this invitation to everyone who is struggling.

His gentleness is available to all, regardless of what they have done.

He offers a promise of rest.

I will give you rest.

This is soul rest, the peace that comes from being in relationship with someone who is fundamentally gentle.

The learning relationship so take my yoke upon you and learn from me.

Jesus invites us into partnership with him where he guides and carries the heavy load.

Learning from him happens in this gentle partnership and how Jesus describes himself.

For I am gentle and lowly in heart.

This is how Jesus describes his own character.

He is gentle, strong, under control, powerful yet restrained.

He is also lowly in heart, humble, approachable, without pride.

And this has a soul level impact.

You will find rest for your souls.

Gentleness creates soul level rest.

When we are in relationship with someone who is genuinely gentle, our souls can stop being defensive, we can stop trying to prove ourselves, and we can rest.

And that includes our relationship with the Lord and the accessible leader.

By describing himself as gentle and lowly, Jesus makes himself accessible.

We can come as we are and find rest.

This passage shows us that gentleness is who Jesus is.

It's his very nature and that gentleness creates space for relationship growth and rest.

So now let's look at this week's pause prompts.

And remember, pause prompts are just questions that we ask ourselves to take inventory of where we are.

No judgment, no condemnation ever.

We do not do that over here.

So when you think about gentleness, do you typically see it as a strength?

And how might this perception influence how you respond to gentle people?

In what area of your life do you feel you need to prove your strength or authority?

And what would it look like to lead from gentleness Instead, where do you find it most difficult to be gentle and with whom?

Are there relationships where you have been avoiding necessary conversations because you confuse gentleness with avoiding conflict?

Remember, gentleness is power under control, strength that chooses restraint on purpose for the sake of love.

Now let's move on into our say La moment and prayer, my favorite part of the podcast.

This is our opportunity to personally reach out, receive Jesus gentleness and ask the Holy Spirit to reproduce that same gentle strength in us.

So begin by sitting comfortably and taking several deep breaths.

With each breath, listen as Jesus speaks His invitation over you come to to me.

You who are laboring and carrying heavy burdens, Come to me just as you are.

Come to me.

Without trying to fix anything about yourself first, imagine Jesus approaching you with perfect gentleness.

It's obvious that he's strong, yet it is completely controlled and directed toward your good.

He is gentle and lowly in heart toward you.

Allow his gentleness to create rest in your soul.

Let down any defenses that might be up.

Simply receive his his gentle acceptance of exactly who you are right now.

Let us pray.

Lord Jesus, thank you for being gentle and lowly in heart.

Thank you for inviting us to come to you exactly as we are without having to first pray improve ourselves.

Thank you that your gentleness creates rest for our souls and a space for us to grow and heal.

Holy Spirit, fill us with the same gentleness that flows from Jesus heart.

Help us understand that true gentleness is strength under control, power that is held in check for the sake of love.

Help us see gentleness as the confidence to restrain our strength for others good where we have been harsh with ourselves.

Teach us to receive your gentleness toward our own journey.

Help us treat ourselves with the same kindness that you show us, the same patience that you have with our growth in our relationships.

Help us lead with gentleness.

Help us speak truth in love and give correction with care and address conflict with the goal of restoration.

Give us wisdom to know when gentleness is appropriate and when firmness is needed.

Holy Spirit, help us follow your example.

Make us people who create safe spaces where others can be honest about their struggles, admit their mistakes, and grow at their own pace.

Let our gentleness become a refuge for those who are weary.

Thank you that your yoke is easy and your burden is light.

Help us offer the same gentle partnership to others.

Use our gentleness to draw others to you.

Let them see in us the same gentle, approachable heart they can find in you.

In your gentle and powerful name, Lord Jesus, we pray and it is so.

Well that is it for today, my friends.

Thank you for listening to Living the Selah Life.

If this moment stirred something in your spirit, please do share it with someone who needs to be reminded to pause and to listen.

You can connect with me on Instagram, a Facebook group, or YouTube @Living the Selah Life.

Or please do email me your story or testimony or any Selah moment that you would like to hear on the podcast.

You can email me at Living the Selah Life Proton me that's Living the Selah Life at P R O t o n.me so until next time, remember that God is speaking.

He wants to guide you and direct you and give you his wisdom for your life.

Create space to listen.

Be patient with yourself as you learn and trust that the same God who spoke the universe into existence wants to speak into your everyday life.

So may you go from this place rested not just in body but in spirit, carrying the awareness that his presence is always near.

May you be rooted in the unshakable word of God, the Logos that grounds you, and the rhema that guides you.

For man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

And may you keep rising into the life he designed for you, into purpose, into peace, into the fullness of his calling.

May your life become a living Selah, an intentional cause that reveals his presence.

It is in Jesus name that we pray, and it is so Selah.